idiots claiming a flying spaghetti monster

Published by henderob January 27th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

wow, this site has to be full of the biggest crackheads i have ever heard of.Â Idiots claiming a flying spaghetti monster, and more idiots complaining about it,Â goddamn.Â let me lay things straight here
1. Spaghetti is a food, i’ll eat your false deity, so screw it, you all can go die
2. The concerned christians who post on this site are just as dumb.Â who the fuck cares about this little site?Â you’re only bringing attention to it by posting.Â and for the record, fuck it i’ll eat you’re deity as well.Â I hate every last one of you.Â and i don’t care if i’m feuling your quest for a lower IQ, ffs, you’re all just a bunch of nerds who decided that it might be funny to listen to the crackhead named Bobby Henderson.
anyways, have fun losers, i’m gonna go to my girlfriends house now.Â i’ll explain what a girlfriend is to you later.

sincerely,

nonsectarian

291 Responses to “idiots claiming a flying spaghetti monster”

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41 - January 27th, 2007 at 11:38 pm - Wench Beth Says:

Nonsectarian does not have a girlfriend. Prove me wrong, you Blue Meanie!
42 - January 28th, 2007 at 12:22 am - Avatar of Reason Says:

Nonsectarian wrote: “anyways, have fun losers”
He left out a comma after the word fun. Fun is an adjective rather than a noun in his sentence, and it modifies losers. Instead of telling losers (by which he probably meant us) to have fun, he told us to have many a loser, each of which is fun. He is clearly oblivious. Nonsectarian, just so you know, we already have a losers on this website, and dealing with them is always fun. We call them “fundies.” Alternatively we call them by their name: Nonsectarian.
-Avatar of Reason
43 - January 28th, 2007 at 12:44 am - Alice Wonder Says:

Well, well, well. Greetings pastafarians. May I join you? *sits at the FSMism table*

Satire is not only entertaining, but in this case, it’s also rather tasty. Much better than the little bread they distribute as the zombi prophet’s body.

If you all don’t mind, I think I’ll stick around for a while.
44 - January 28th, 2007 at 1:06 am - Captain Mad John Kidd Says:

Ahoy, Alice! Welcome aboard! We’re always in need of new Wenches! I see you’ve helped yourself to the buffet next to the keg of grog. Pirates cannot live by garlic bread alone. We are a peace-loving lot, but we will defend ourselves mercilessly when attacked by funda mental ists and IDiots.

May you be forever touched by His Nooldy Appendage.

RAmen

MJK
45 - January 28th, 2007 at 1:16 am - Wench Beth Says:

Welcome, Alice!! It’s great to have another wench in our midst :) Please stick around for as long as you like!
46 - January 28th, 2007 at 1:30 am - Booty Says:

Hi Alice!
Welcome aboard!
47 - January 28th, 2007 at 1:31 am - Jingles Says:

@ Alice
Yarrrr… it be good to have another wench board our motley crew! Welcome! Grab some grog! Another sentance ended with an exclamation mark!
.
@MJK
“We are a peace-loving lot”
Except when we’re a-plunderin’. Arrrrr!
48 - January 28th, 2007 at 1:42 am - Alice Wonder Says:

Avast, me hearties! What a welcoming bunch!
I was hoping to be touched… by His Noodly Appendage, that is. Nooldy is all I’ve got. Well, a girl can dream.
49 - January 28th, 2007 at 1:44 am - Captain Mad John Kidd Says:

@ Jingles

I was referring to the Gospel that we have the lowest death rate do to hate of any religion, but you are quite right, me heartie, when in doubt, plunder. Arrrgh!!!
50 - January 28th, 2007 at 1:58 am - Jingles Says:

Oh… death rate… yeah. Only one thing has died in the name of FSM…
.
.
.
.
.
.
… our morals.
51 - January 28th, 2007 at 2:02 am - Captain Mad John Kidd Says:

Spot on, shipmate.
52 - January 28th, 2007 at 3:06 am - Nava Spider Says:

Ahoy all,
i suspect i know why Nonsectarian intends not to bring attention to our gathering here. he fears for his tenuous hold on his girlfriend, should she find out about us then she’ll become a wench for sure! which fine woman wouldn’t? think about it, you can wear what you like, carry a sword, drink grog and find yourself a pirate (or like minded wench) in comparison to small minded nutters….
53 - January 28th, 2007 at 4:28 am - Homo narrans Says:

are you feeling any insecurities there, nonsectarian? given that you seem compelled to draw further attention to something you seem to believe is beneath your notice…
.
don’t worry, if you still wet the bed at age 15 we pastafarians won’t reject you. does the pirtae ship have an absorbant hammock, just for poor cases like nonsectarian? since he feels the need to lash out at us in such a fashion, one can only believe that he’s trying to compensate for something.
54 - January 28th, 2007 at 4:33 am - DutchPastaGuy Says:

@Alice Wonder
Welcome. We are a very international pirate gang. A large UK contingent, which is logical given Brittains extensive maritime history. It has spilled over into its former colonies, like the US and Australia. And by now most of the world has become enlightened. In fact, only last week did a South African poster ‘2 minute noodle’ announce him/herself, looking to rid SA from the great heat by converting more pirates in his country. Care to let us know where you’re from?
55 - January 28th, 2007 at 4:40 am - Dylf Says:

Dear all

I don’t like when people claim a persons IQ is low because he has a different way of believing. If you mean that this religion not suites your visions, then you should go to hell, or what you ever call it in your religion. This religion is might actually be better documented than Christianity or Islam.
I donâ€™t believe in a religion that is based on stories that has passed from mouth to mouth in 2-400 years before itâ€™s actually is written down. I can make up stories, so could our ancestors.
I believe that a person that can se beyond his own faith and argument for the better and the worse, is a person with a very high IQ. BUT, a person who only carp and nag is a person that isnâ€™t interested in gathering knowledge, therefore his IQ must be so much smaller.

Tag den fedtÃ¸re! (shit it is on Danish!)

\Dylf
56 - January 28th, 2007 at 5:57 am - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:

Nava Spider:

which fine woman wouldnâ€™t? … find yourself a pirate (or like minded wench)

Or both (a pirate and another wench). Both is allowed. If fact I think our church is so liberal the it may even be slightly encouraged.
57 - January 28th, 2007 at 6:22 am - DutchPastaGuy Says:

Welcome Dylf (sorry if you had been around longer I and hadn’t spotted you)
Another nationality. Wouldn’t it be nice to see how far we’ve spread? Why don’t we compile a small list. We’ve all seen posts from
Great Brittain (certainly England and N. Ireland, I seem to remember Wales too).
There was a poster called Irish. Are you from the republic?
Australia of course!
A number from the US
Netherlands
South Africa
It appears now also from Denmark.
I seem to remeber Sweden.
.
Please copy-paste and add your country if you like.
58 - January 28th, 2007 at 6:27 am - daqq Says:

@nonsectarian: Well, which religion has more evidence, more documentation, more anything than pastafarianism?
59 - January 28th, 2007 at 6:46 am - Jingles Says:

Oh, don’t forget Beast from tha east (russia)
James (that christian guy from germany)
That Polish girl… washername…
Some posts from Iraq (though I suppose they’re just poms and yanks that are fighting over there)
A couple of Brazilians ( :D )
Some Argentinians
Mexicans
Canadians
French
Spanish (or was it Portuguese?)
And I think a chinese girl
60 - January 28th, 2007 at 7:02 am - Alchemist Says:

Hmm. Just had a good read of nonsectarian’s post.
Poor spelling, calling us nerds and losers. A blatant mention that he has a girlfriend and oh so subtle hint that we haven’t.
All wrapped up in a warm “I’m much more clever than you” tone.
.
Is TheLaughingMan back? Hey Daffodil, how is Rosy Red Palm? Doing much swimming or are the pool lights still broken?

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Purchase the Gospel

An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American