Hey, so rather than get an ordinary yacht to sail around the world
spreading the FSM faith, why not something a little more pirate-like.
I was in Bonaire with my family and this Junk was docked there and
seemed sufficiently pirate-like for you.–Dan
I like it. Let’s brainstorm fundraising ideas. Also, we’ll need to figure out how ship-time will be organized. Ideas/Volunteers?
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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In all seriousness i can in fact navigate, and hold a “driving license” for ships.. yar! run out the guns and set the sails… watch out fundis the pirates are coming…
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I’ve been around sailing veesles my whole life, and have crewed on a couple of schooners. I can’t reall y help during the spring and fall because I’m in college, but during the summers I’m free!!
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First things first: is there room for a bar below deck?
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Fundraising is probably the easy part. Have the wenches do a bikini carwash or get people to sell stuff. You could probably also make some sort of FSM promoting stuff and sell it to stores. I dunno, but I think if you can’t buy a pirate ship now, chances aargh you won’t be able to for a while.
RAmen
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yarrrr, i be the grog wench. i shall serve grog, drink grog, and otherwise be the embodiment of the stripper factories on ye old FSM pirate ship!
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Pixel Pete
I don’t think I’d raise much money doing a bikini carwash, I honestly don’t think I would!
*
I’d like to have my car washed by some handsome male pirates though!
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“I’d like to have my car washed by some handsome male pirates though!” AYE!
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That sort of looks like a Chinese boat, but eh, once a pirate always a pirate.
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ARR! I say we hold several spaghetti dinners all over the world on the same night. To misquote Field of Dreams, “If you feed them, they will come.”
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I’ll do a bikini car wash but I sure wish there were some other Pastafarians around to help out! Not too many in the high desert, here!
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Erm, it was snowing here yesterday due to my pirate activities, so I’m buggered if I am doing ANYTHING in a bikini at the moment!
Can I be on the shp in dry dock as I get terribly seasick? :(
I can man, I mean wench the harbour waiting for the pirates to get home though!
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Great i will be able to do some cabin boying at last.
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You really think a pirate ship will save you?? Bhaaa! Only this ship can keep you from the flood of sin and the blasphemous rain pouring down upon you:.
http://www.whateveristrue.com/noahsark/arklanding.jpg
and also a neat fact:
http://www.blackapologetics.com/bamanswerjesusship.html
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To Navigator Spider… can you perform weddings on a ship?
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Aarrrr! This is so exciting. Run up the Jolly Roger!
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Booty was washing up on beaches on the south coast earlier this week. Weren’t you wearing a bikini then?
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Beth, As a true pastafarian captain I can perform weddings.
Did you have anyone in mind or were you just asking?
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To the Captain… I was just asking, but I think it’d be really romantic (hey, remember, I’m a wench) to have a Pastafarian wedding on a pirate ship. I can’t think of a better way to get married, unless it’s a ceremony performed by an Elvis impersonator at a drive-up wedding chapel in Vegas ;)
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yes!!!! finallly a decent religon! screw yew christianity!!
hehe i love u guys!!!!!!
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Actually, we’re a “religion”, thank you.
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I’ll do the Elvis impersonation if you’ll do Charo.
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Actually Beth, some scholars believe we’re a fringe relgion.
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A “fringe religion” (or “religon” or “relgion”) is simply a religion in which the strippers at His holy stripper factory wear fringe on their soon-to-be-removed lingerie. So I don’t see any problem with being a “fringe religion”.
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In terms of how we spend our time on the ship.
I hadn’t got beyond the drinking rum, singing and sex in rotation and let’s see how many we can do at the same time.
I’ll bring trivial pursuit in case we get bored of those three.
Mike is not invited.
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And dancing! We must have dancing! And strip poker! And strip dancing! Oh, you get the point ;)
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A HOMO BOAT HOW NICE HAHAHAHA
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Beth, you’re right as usual.
Stripping, drinking, dancing, singing etc. (plenty of etc.) till the sun goes down and comes up the other side.
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To Mike… yes, you’re absolutely right! It’s going to be a HOMO boat: HEAPS OF MEAD and ORGIES!!
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Oooooo Yes! Mead! Mead served by wenches in low cut tops with frilly necklines.
Well at least that’s what they’ll be wearing until half-way through the strip poker.
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Ask Greenpeace: they know about ships AND fundraising!
RAmen to you Pirates!
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I’m back everyone!
What’s been going on in my absence?
RAmen
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Pixel Pete, all you’ve missed is stripping, drinking, singing, orgies, mead… shall I go on? ;) We’re discussing how to buy a pirate ship (again) and what we’re going to do when we get it!
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I like that it is a Chinese Pirate Ship. Hopefully, the cook is good. Looking forward to some stir-fry with my grog and strippers!
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@Wench Beth
Damn, how could I miss stripping?
I like this new pirate ship, looks like you could really do some plundering with it ^.^
RAmen
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yar…
yep, i’d be up for it, if anyone would keep me alive (food)
my only other option i have atm is to join the air national guard so i can go back to college ….
btw i have no experience sailing but i can learn and it would be something i would do for at least a year
+ i would look sexy in a pirate costume
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Serious question, now: if we all got a pirate ship where would it be docked? I mean, we’re all over the world!
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DOCK IT UP YOUR ASS!!!!! HAHAHAHA
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Fort Lauderdale comes to mind, Wench Beth. :-)
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Aye, she be a fine lookin’ vessel, you can count on a contribution from the antipodean pastafarian chapters to put some wind in her sales and some fine beers on the bar.
I likes the idea of the car wash, perhaps I can interest the local lads and lassies here to get their gear off for a good cause, seeing as how they likes to get their gear off anyway.
Ramen
Capitan Bizarro
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@Captain Bizarro
I’m glad you liked my idea, unfortunately most people just don’t see the genius of it!
Bikini carwash is the only way to get cash, and you should do it near a college so you get all the testosterone-bomb guys to give you their money.
Just make sure that you’re actually cleaning the cars!
RAmen
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Hmmm… I will help in any way I can, but I’m afraid I live smack in the middle of the U.S. No large bodies of water anywhere near. I’ll have to bunk with my cousins on the shore:)
Bikini car washes sound good. So do spaghetti dinners.
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@Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA
Mike could be invited……to walk the plank, don’t you guys think so?
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ARRGH.. has any one considered a boat wash then we could always scope out a bigger vessel while raising funds?The strippers would be an excellent distraction to the unsuspecting captains.
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Can somebody somehow realize that all this talk of strippers could possibly lead to blockage by Bess at schools ant therefor end my largest converting outlet. with 6 converts and more pirates (somewhere form 1-5) at Whitman it may be the largest concentration of Pastafarians in one area (in Seattle). There fore to case more converts I need the website so can “inappropriate” subjects please be avoided. (ignoring me is allowed)
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What are you converting them too? Stripper factories are what we get when we go to heaven. Maybe you should figure out out it is you are converting too?
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I am converting them to the idea that there is beer in heaven.
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Katsu. This is a heathen site. They talk of strippers and sex non-stop around here. I don’t think you should be here at all. Believe in God and pray for salvation. Find a good Christian website to frequent. I am sure your school would aprove of that. I can help you find a good site if you wish. Just let me know.
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@ Thumper
Point of clarification. If you are using the term “heathen” as someone who does not belong to a widely held religion e.g. Christian, Jew, or Muslim, then I will take that as a compliment. If you are inferring a follower of a polytheistic religion, then you couldn’t be further from the truth. Pastafarians believe that the FSM is the one and only Creator of the universe. If you are suggesting unenlightened, then again you are misinformed. If you are implying one lacking culture or moral principles, then all I can say is why do you think the FSM revealed himself in America?
You don’t think that Katsu should be here but, it hasn’t stopped you from gracing us with your presence, has it? We do have a short plank that you are welcome to take a long walk upon. Have a nice day. :-)
RAmen
MJK
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C’mon people… we’re pirates.
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Pirates = People who commit piracy (among other, less polite things ;P)
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So let’s live up to the name. Steal the boat, then, when the authorities come after us, steal their boat, and make em walk the plank (within swimming distance of the shore of course, I’m not a bastard)
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Otherwise, maybe we all find some common date (TLAPD would be good if it was earlier), get everyone to try and get into the local media, and launch a simultaneous ship drive all over the world. We could have a choir (if we could keep ‘em sober enough) singing shanties, with a pirate (or wench) channeling his noodleyness, and aim purely at making people laugh.
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If they’re laughing, they don’t mind so much when you plunder their booty, and pillage their damsels!
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I’m with you, Jingles. A bikini car wash sounds fun but where’s the pay off. Even with the ever growing Pastafarian population it would take years. What’s next? Spaghetti dinner night at the VFW? Going door to door with a little can for donations like the UNICEF crowd? We need to think on a larger scale. We’ve got the book, how about a movie?
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I like the sound of a bikini car wash; it’s classic enough to work, and the people who go to them usualy don’ care to what casue it goes to, so we could even get some Christians to donate!
And for the crew, I have lived near the water a lot of my life, so I have no fear of sailing. Unfourtionitly, I, too, could only go during my summers, what with collage and such. I could do anything you need me to do, if you teach me…
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“We’ve got the book, how about a movie?”
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Got any titles in mind? My seriously fatigued brain cvan only come up with “You, me and Ditalini”.
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Jingles, you’re brilliant. Just brilliant.
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Thumper, why do I have the feeling you’re actually on our side?…
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Mike, that wasn’t a very nice thing to say to a girl. Please curb your offensive language.
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Captain Mad John Kidd, you’ve got something there. A movie is the next logical step (said Spock). I’m sure we’d ALL be willing to act in it, and I’m sure there’s some really talented college students on this site who are involved in film, media, what-not. It could happen. I mean, they did the play in SoCal… I think a movie could be a realistic goal!
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RAAAAaaaaaamen!
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A Flock of Parrots?
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“Wench Beth Jan 25th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
To Navigator Spider… can you perform weddings on a ship?”
yes you can, and i have a confession (hangs head in shame) one of my duties as an officer was to run church services. Not sure it was what you could call “traditional” once i had customised it a bit but i had fun ;-) i always made sure there was grog to follow, great at 11 in the morning!
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Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of animation like South Park or Sponge Bob. With scenes of Pastafarian Heaven, the beer volcanos, the stripper factory. Animee strippers would be cool, though that might be leaning towards an adult film like The Nine Lives of Felix the Cat.
That said, I think a live-action documentary following the life of a Pastafarian missionary on a conversion crusade can’t be bad. Maybe splice in some animee strippers and the volcano for effect.
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Nice one, Spider. I served aboard a US Naval destroyer as a petty officer. Originally from the UK, I acquired a US citizenship through the service. Never performed a wedding ceremony though. Props.
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Sorry – going way back up the thread – I was certainly NOT washing up on the south coast! I haven’t done any washing up for ages, as the state of my kitchen will prove!
It was an imposter I tell you!
And if you are going to plunder me Spider can you let me know first so I can do my hair? ;)
I think the animation film is a good idea :)
Don’t stress about the church services Spider, we all have skeletons in our closets!
Well, we’re pirates, what do you expect!
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Plunder? i don’t remember mentioning it but yyaaaaarrr! sounds fun.
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Oh, maybe it was someone else…..
*scurries back up the thread to check….*
Oh! It was Jingles – sorry!
Well, the same applies to you anyway ;)
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Yarrrr. I spy wenches then, let go the anchor and prepare the gig. shorebound for grog, plundering, grog, pillaging and grog. (rearrange as necessary) last one to to run through a lubber is to be keel hauled and have their grog shared out…..
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(needless to say, insert wenches/pirates, pirates who dress as wenches or vice versa as appropriate. if it floats ya boat and they fancy it it’s all good)
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I know, I already posted this the haikus thread, but my swelled ego won’t let me alone until I put it here to. Some minor changes
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—
I had some spare time, you can just try to imagine the tune (or make up your own):
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Background chant: Yo ho ho ho, Yo ho ho ho (In a piratey sort of way)
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Leader: (sorry, couldn’t really piraticize his/her speech yet)
It’s great to be a pirate an’ to sail th’ seven seas,
It’s great to serve the FSM, and do just what we please,
We all worship his noodleyness and drink volcanic beer,
And fight the fundamentalists will jolly pirate cheer!
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Chorus:
For science! For science!
We sail the ocean wide!
For science! For science!
And make the fundies hide!
For science! For science!
And drop the global temp!
For science and the FSM we sail towards tax exempt!
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Leader:
Now you all know the story of the famous Davy Jones,
His locker is the storage place of all good pirates bones,
We’d really like to join them but we have a place reserved:
Up in the stripper factory, and does that make us perves!?
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Chorus
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Leader:
Perhaps you’ve heard some anecdotes of hate-mail on our site,
It keeps us strong and has us up late laughing every night,
We wonder why they think that we will burn for what we say,
When they say that the place we’ll burn is up in cold Norway
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Chorus
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All together:
The FSM, the FSM, the great Noodly Monster,
For science and the FSM, we give a hearty Aaaarrrhh!
RAmen
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RAmen, and feel free to make any changes you like!
—
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Would it work for the raids?
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Gnocci, every ship needs someone to lead the shanties. consider yourself pressganged! (i can’t help hearing the whole thing with a slight viking bassline to it…)
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Yaaay! I get to be the shantyman!? WOOOHOOOOO!
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As to the viking bassline, I think it might have that in my tune, too. Cool.
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i just discovered the best noodleage machine EVAR!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kvdq8cRNBM
shame about the shouty, non-english comentry.
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We could have a convention-esque party. People could sell FSM related material, pirate clothing, and other interesting items. There could be a sermon and a spaghetti dinner. I think it would be a wonderful opportunity to spread the Truth and meet fellow Pastafarians. Although, I think we should keep the scarcely clothed wenches for a different gathering. It would be nice to bring little Pastafarians too, plus we don’t want people to get the wrong idea about the FSM.
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To Gnocci Man… LOL! Your song is the BEST! What a great job. You should join the FSM poetry group!…. NOT!! JUST KIDDING!! Anyway, you’re quite talented and I mean that.
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To Navigator Spider… re: the weddings, RAmen to you and a bottle of rum!! Arrrrrr!!
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See gnocci? all the wenches always go for the artistic types ;-) the rest of us have to make do with pillaging and plundering till we make shore at the beer volcano!
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There was lots of rum (and sherry and ginger wine for some reason, and definitely lots of biscuits) however, i just ran “normal” services not weddings although the captain did have the power to. I used to ham it right up though, funny thing is though becasue i’m no hypocrite i told the regular congregation i was atheist up front and they still wanted me to do it! i even got a bigger crown than the padre when he visited! (take that god-botherer, pirates kick arse.)
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To Kristina… now we’re talking! A convention-esque party! Brilliant! I wish I had thought of your idea myself. Conventions are the greatest and have the potential to raise a LOT of awareness and money, too :) I agree with you totally about keeping the party “family-oriented” — we at least want to SEEM like a family religion! (wink, wink) Although… at all the Star Trek conventions I’ve been to (lost count) those scantily clad alien women sure got a lot of attention ;)
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No, no, Navigator Spider, we love you just as much! Pillaging and plundering are the essential qualities of pirates! Arrrr! Everyone has their own talents ;) I think it would have been hysterical to watch you do a service or wedding. LOL!!
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I like the convention idea. maybe on talk like a pirate day, pastafarians should gather in various places around the globe, celebrate with beer, grog noddles etc, basking in the knowledge its all part of a giant global plundering session….
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Why wait for September!? Lets just gather every Friday! I’ll bring the chips, dip, and ramens!
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@Wench Beth
Thanks… I think… ;)
Don’t worry, I pillage and plunder as well. What ’s the point in being a pirate if you aren’t going to partake in such activities? I’ll just do poetry & such in my free time. And who wouldn’t want to see a wedding performed by those of piratical pursuit!?
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by the way, hate to break the happy note thise thread was on, but if you havn’t been to this site yet, then it is time you saw one of the deepest dens of depravity and homophobia ever to burden the world wide web. WBC.
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http://www.godhatesfags.com/main/index.html
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To Gnocci Man… sorry I wasn’t clear! I was giving you a total compliment. The FSM poetry group is a bunch of goofballs; that’s why I made that comment. Your piratey song is BRILLIANT!!!! I wish I had that talent!
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And Gnocci Man, I know you are a real pirate who pillages and plunders as well… and you have that extra talent! (Basically I’m down on my knees apologizing for not enough clarity :)
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@Wench Beth
I was kinda joking too, and no insult was taken in the first place. No need to worry! All doth still be cool.
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@Wench Beth
ps.
I didn’t realise how unpleasant my post sounded when I wrote it, I should be the one apologising!
(falls down on knees and apologizes for accidental rudeness)
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Gnocci Man– Best. Song. Ever.
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i have a question, sorry that i have to ask this here, but i did not find any forum
ok, how many of you TRULY belive that a FSM created the world, and how many are just atheists that join the FSM to make a statement ?
i mean it seemed obvious when i first found this site on the net, but now i am starting to worry
-Bubba
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“ok, how many of you TRULY belive that a FSM created the world”
Well, Bubba, I think that we all have faith that gravity exists, and that is prima facie evidence that the FSM is using his noodly appendages in positive, glorious ways. RAmen.
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“ok, how many of you TRULY belive that a FSM created the world”
How many do YOU think? Just out of curiosity.
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To Bubba… I truly believe that *THE* Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, not *A* Flying Spaghetti Monster. There is only one and He is omnipresent, omniscient, and tastes really yummy.
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yaarrg! That ship be the shit!
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@Wench Beth. You have some problems if you really believe that. Read the Bible.
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@Thumper Jan 26th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
” You have some problems if you really believe that. Read the Bible.”
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Why is the bible true and all other holy book creation stories, such as the GoFSM, wrong?
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There is only one Bible. Not these made up money making lies.
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@Bubba,
“I have a question, sorry that i have to ask this here, but i did not find any forum”
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Try http://www.venganza.org/forum :p
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@God is Good Jan 26th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
“There is only one Bible. Not these made up money making lies.”
Can you prove they are lies?
On another note, how many christianity proponents have appeared in court on fraud/other charges?
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I only want to help you. Not fight with you.
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@God is Good Jan 26th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
“There is only one Bible.”
The muslims are also convinced that their own holy book is the only truth, to the extent of sacrificing their lives for it??
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@God is Good Jan 26th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
“I only want to help you. Not fight with you.”
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You haven’t given anyone here any reason to believe they need help?
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Fine if you don’t. I just want to help.
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@God is Good Jan 26th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
“I only want to help you. Not fight with you.”
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Do you mistake pertinent questioning for fighting?
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“I just want to help.”
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THEN PLEASE OH PLEASE GET YOUR CHURCH TO STOP PREACHING THAT CONDOMS DON’T WORK TO AFRICANS AT RISK FROM AIDS!
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That is one of the greatest evils on the face of the planet.
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Our souls don’t need saving, because we’re going to a different heaven than you, and ours has beer and strippers.
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Man is not perfect. I’ll be the first to admit. But I want to help all of you.
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@Jingles Jan 26th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
“THEN PLEASE OH PLEASE GET YOUR CHURCH TO STOP PREACHING THAT CONDOMS DON’T WORK TO AFRICANS AT RISK FROM AIDS!”
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RAmen Jingles. A request that deserves capitalisation. RAmen
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Sorry I only want to help.
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GiG
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What you see as helping us, to us is just pointless. Many of us used to be christian (Anglican myself *shudder*). We gave up religion because we realised several things.
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1) It doesn’t make sense. There are more contradictions in that book of yours (whichever of the umpteen different versions you want) than there are fundamentalists in the southern USA.
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2) Your god is a manipulative, homicidal, sociopathic and seriously untruthful being (if he actually existed, that is). If you actually read the bible, not just the bits the preacher tells you too, but the whole damn thing, you will see what I mean.
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3) Hell still sounds like a better place then heaven. I really could not stand all eternity with a bunch of mormons. I’d rather be burnt in eternal hellfire than that.
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4) Your religion is too damn restrictive. No swearing, no premarital sex, no meat on fridays, church every single sunday. Screw that.
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5) Africa and AIDS. Need I say more?
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6) Your religion is full of paedophile priests.
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@God is Good Jan 26th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
“Sorry I only want to help.”
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How is that??
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“God is Good Jan 26th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
There is only one Bible. Not these made up money making lies.” er, no. these were taken from a popular bible site: New International Version, New American Standard Version, New King James Version, Revised Standard Version, New Revised Standard Version, The Living Bible, New Century Version. that took me all of 30 secs to find. not to mention all the sects that call themselves christian.
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another bible publishers states “…There are 5,309 surviving Greek manuscripts that contain all or part of the New Testament….” all reliant on translations. bibles include whichever ones suit that agenda. so which ones do you consider true and which ones are money making lie filled heretical blasphemers? whereas there is one single shining example of our gospel, the one true piratical pasta loving text.
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go with sauce.
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Isn’t the Bible the best selling book EVAR?!
So who’s making money now????
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THanks for combating global warming
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You’re welcome! :)
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Whoa, mateys! We have strayed off course!
We be in the business of findin’ a ship, so’s we can be a plunderin’.
You scurvy lot is thinkin lots o ideas, jus r’member:
Cap’n Morgan is givn th orders here.
He says more rum!
But alas, we need a ship, lest the barrels run dry, and the strippers run off to the crack house.
Only then, with a hold full of plunder, can we keep the wenches aboard and the beer flowing. And yo ho ho, another bottle of rum!
The Cap’n says it, we gotta do it…or walk the plank!
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@Navs Spider
“…There are 5,309 surviving Greek manuscripts that contain all or part of the New Testament….†all reliant on translations.
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Yes, and those translations can lead to some pretty funny things. My personal favourite mis-translation is the line from Isaah. ‘A young woman will give birth’ in Hebrew is translated ‘A virgin will give birth’ in Greek. And before you know it, you’ve got two millenia of worshipping the virgin Mary. You’ve gotta laugh, don’t you.
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Wow. So THAT’S where it came from. But seriously, I think a convention is the best idea. That way all pastafarians can congregate there. I think we should couple up with Gencon, or at least get a booth there, because thousands of potential pastafarians visit every year. Plus it’s awesome. Super Awesome. And one of the stops is near where I lve.^_^
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AArrrrrrrrrrr.. I just feel sorry for all the American natives,Inuit,Aztec,Inca,Chinese and sorry for any I missed people that lived and died without getting a chance to know your god and will spend the rest of eternity in purgatory for it,thats bad timing Thumper.I am sure his noodiliness will allow them to sample the beer volcanos and watch the strippers in our afterlife !RAmen
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@Jingles
“Hell still sounds like a better place then heaven. I really could not stand all eternity with a bunch of mormons.”
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A eternity spent in praise and worship! I don’t know about you but that kind of fits my definition of hell rather than heaven {gulp}
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“What about sex?” …”Oh, praising God is much better than sex!”
“What about beer?” .”Oh no. Worshiping the most high is so much better!”
“Sorry, I seem to be in the wrong place, where’s the door?”
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Shotgun the crow’s nest =)
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With more pirates there will be more sailboats then cars, so then globalwarming will stop… I’m finally starting to understand this!
Greetings from Sweden (hope turning in to vikings will help you a little bit aswell)
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Greetings to Bronson Murphy in Sweden! Jeg bødde i Sverige i 1998. Velkommen til FSM!
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To Thumper… I *have* read the Bible, probably many more times than you have, and it’s a fiction book, nothing else. Get it? A FICTION BOOK written by HUMANS with a strange imagination. Prove me wrong.
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@Wench Beth.
I’m impressed by your language skills!
And welcome indeed Bronson murphy.
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To DutchPastaGuy… Thanks! But I’m still learning. As you could probably tell, det var norsk, ikke svensk :) I’ve got both rattling around in my head :)
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No, from the first post I could not have told that that was Norwegian instead of Swedish. At least, I thinks that’s what you’re trying to tell me.
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Just wanted to suggest a hymn for the Church (it’s from “Pirates of Penzance”):
Oh, better far to live and die
Under the brave black flag I fly,
Than play a sanctimonious part,
With a pirate head and a pirate heart.
Away to the cheating world go you,
Where pirates all are well-to-do;
But I’ll be true to the song I sing,
And live and die a Pirate King.
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Cool, I live near Penzance, and know a lot of the words to that song!
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@Beastly
Cool again! I envy you, you’d have to be a Christian and born in Bethlehem to even come close, LOL.
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@godisgood
“Man is not perfect. I’ll be the first to admit. But I want to help all of you.”
Man is not perfect. Man wrote the bible. So how can you trust it?
And do you truly call trying to convince us to believe a bunch of lies written by Jesus’s homies and then edited to make some French guy a king “helping”?
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Great song, Apprentice Frederic! It’s been way too long since I’ve seen that musical.
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I read a book when i was a child called Grandma And The Pirates. it is a story about a Grandma who makes delicious noodles. the smell of pasta attacts pirates, and they take the pasta and the grandma to make her make more.
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Surly there is not a single children’s book as holy as this one, for it contains bothe Pirates and Pasta, and Pirates eating Pasta. here is a link that mentions the book.
http://www.phoebegilman.com/grandma.html
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I was confused, as pastafarians who worship pasta, are we supposed to eat pasta as worship or are we supposed to not eat pasta as a sign of respect to our great god the FSM?
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Eat it! Worship it! Cover yourself with it! (if you like that sort of thing)
Do what you want with it! The FSM, is way cool, I really don’t think he cares that much what you do with it!
As long as you don’t hurt others with it!
Ramen
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Just so’s we sail where it’s warm. Right now I’m homeported on SF Bay and it’s cold all year, but worse in the summer.
Still have the boat and the ULC ordination, too.
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@Petros, Lolli P
Just for giggles (and a storm of obloquy from non-pastafarians) you are, of course familiar with the Christian doctrine concerning transubstantiation; see Wikipedia or the Catholic Encyclopaedia. FSM is one step ahead of this odd doctrine, since the body of the deity is unchanged during the entire process of communion…
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I like it, but… Is it bad that the masts don’t point in the same direction?
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hey, at least they point. also i’m down for sailing the 7 seas. whilst we’re at it can we engage in more modern acts of piracy like illegally copying dvd’s and whatnot?
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Once you buy it, could you bring it over to England so I can join yar? I’ll bring my converts, honest!
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Oh and btw cap’n, us pirates are nice, giving out candy and beating up Noah. Arr!
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To what address should I mail my money?
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Yar me hardies. Seems to me we should take a page from the million man/mom march. How about a million pirates march? Then, after the marauding and pillaging (Remember, rape, pillage THEN burn!!), we could storm an appropriate ship, give day or night cruises for money. . . WITH STRIPPERS!!!! I ask, what’s not to love? We could do this all over the world and spread the good word of Pastafarianism, between raping and pillaging. Stagger, crawl, bleed is optional. So, lets pick a city with a beautiful ship, the USS Constitution comes to mind, and plan a date. . .
May the fusilli be with you,
RAmen
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ermm… everything cept the rape. That will not be appreciated nor tolerated by the wenches here.
And yeah, the “no burn first” rule. Forgot that my first time. Never again.^_^
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Yeah oftenlucid,
I’m not so sure I like your idea there, thats not really what we’re about.
We’re a peaceful lot, for the most part.
Ramen
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I humbly submit
“No, no, Navigator Spider, we love you just as much! Pillaging and plundering are the essential qualities of pirates! Arrrr! Everyone has their own talents ;) ”
My bad if I took it too far. Defiantly wouldn’t be the first time. Bad pirate. . .go lay down.
I would still like to crew on the ship.
Go in pasta. . .
P.S.
And to those who are sensitive to verbage, rather than calling them pirates you can PC it up a bit and refer to them as “aggressive over seas redistribution agents who remove the cargo from burning ships whose crew are found dead”.
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You can count on an experienced cook, linguist, martial artist, alcoholic, fisherman, and international studies expert when you bring me aboard. Just keep the grog flowing. I have a number of recruits more than willing to lay down their boring lives here at home and join you on the high seas. All for the great and saucy sacred teachings of our lord. Can I get a ramen from the people?
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RAmen!
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i am a certified sailing instructor and have previous racing experience… make that extensive racing expeirience. we shall get a schooner and spread the word! yar!!sincerely, captain jack sparrow and crew
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RAmen DreadPirateBen! I don’t have your list of skills, but do have cooking, martial artist and alcoholic going for me! This does seem to be a hard-drinking group of pirates…
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Excellent, with a galley full of pasta and tomatoes we should be able to sustain ourselves for awhile. Perhaps getting a sponsor from a science organization we would be able to have funding for this project…hm… but who’s bringing the rum?
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we will just make our own dreadpirateben, can’t be that hard
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Hm, drunk pastafarians distilling rum on board a boat which might be flammable in the middle of the ocean… sounds good!
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DreadPirateBen Feb 8th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Hm, drunk pastafarians distilling rum on board a boat which might be flammable in the middle of the ocean… sounds good!
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Darn tootin’ it’ll be fun!
#2
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Hang on a second, I know a place where we can get a pirate ship AND rum… the caribbean! Theres also really nice people and tis good for sunbathing! Arr!
RAmen!
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id rather be a ninja
or at least a ninja with a parot ooohhhhh and a neat hat
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@ Yoru Kaze
But thats kind of what pirates are- they wear black, they have swords, they disguise themselves sometimes. But pirates are more fun than ninja’s, with ninja’s theres the whole working for someone else thing, they dont drink rum, and they dont sunbath (good call Violadude) while working off a hangover. But if you want to, I dont see why a ninja with a neat hat and parrot wouldnt be considered a pirate. I’ve done some security work, and we needed a theme song but no-one wanted to carry around a boombox… so, I say we need to rig up the ship with a PA system to blare Flogging Molly, Jimmy Buffett, and other select piraty composers. How bout it? Arrrggghhh!
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We need to get serious about this ship of ours. We need to contact Discovery or Fox or somewhere about a show where people build reallly cool things from legendary myths or futuristic stories. We pitch the idea, then suggest the first thing the team builds is a pirate ship. It should be huge and capable of amazing speeds for sailing. It will need cannons, a poop deck, classic rigging set up, and all of that jazz. We suggest a bottom deck next to the cabins that has barrels full of grog. We come up with the idea, and get copyright over it. We sell the rights to the producers on one condition. We keep the ship once it is done. After they make a badass ship, they will build all sorts of other stuff. Imagine Mythbusters with bigger budget and no limits. Once they are done making the stuff, they give it away to people who can legally use it. This is my idea, and through it we get a ship and a cool TV show to watch.
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Mr. Henderson, if you read this, i hope you contact my email. I would gladly write up a proposal for the networks if I can man one of the cannons.
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We need to get serious about this ship of ours. We need to contact Discovery or Fox or somewhere about a show where people build reallly cool things from legendary myths or futuristic stories. We pitch the idea, then suggest the first thing the team builds is a pirate ship. It should be huge and capable of amazing speeds for sailing. It will need cannons, a poop deck, classic rigging set up, and all of that jazz. We suggest a bottom deck next to the cabins that has barrels full of grog. We come up with the idea, and get copyright over it. We sell the rights to the producers on one condition. We keep the ship once it is done. After they make a badass ship, they will build all sorts of other stuff. Imagine Mythbusters with bigger budget and no limits. Once they are done making the stuff, they give it away to people who can legally use it. This is my idea, and through it we get a ship and a cool TV show to watch.
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Mr. Henderson, if you read this, i hope you contact my email. I would gladly write up a proposal for the networks if I can man one of the cannons.
.
please
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sorry for the repeat
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sorry for the repeat
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Wow. I just had a FANTASTIC idea.
How about a big show when the ship is purchased? A publicity stunt, somewhere with lots of spectators. It could be advertised.
The ship could be purchased, nice and legal. The previous owners could be in on the show, ‘forced’ to walk the plank after Pastafarians have stormed the vessel dressed in full pirate garb. Of course the previous owners’ hands and feet wouldn’t be bound or anything so they could swim to shore and enjoy their sale money.
I think it’d be a great way to attract attention to the religion.
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Dead pirate ben, you’re an experienced cook, linguist, martial artist, alcoholic, fisherman, and international studies expert?
Wow… It’d be a ship full of worldly, fishing, fat drunk bilingual ninja-pirates.
The reason I’m posting again is to tell you about my intentions with my Mastercard. It only has a 500 dollar credit limit. It’s nearly full right now, but when I get it fully paid off, I’m filling it right back up again. Once it’s fully paid off, I’m going to use my Mastercard to make a 500 dollar donation for the cause of the ship!
I will keep everybody updated on weekly progress. I get paid every two weeks and will attempt to make a significant payment into my Mastercard debt on payday.
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I’m having some trouble with the donation. Is there a fund specifically for the pirate ship? Will a Mastercard be accepted? I have no problems with contributing the money. I just need some information.
If somebody can provide the necessary information, I’d be very grateful. Thank you.
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Hi boys!f29d6ded5c7f7cd0547efa01b4bb2ad7
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Happy Ramendan Everyone!!!!
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Hey guys. Just graduating from university soon- Worked on a fishing boat AND a tour boat. Can Tie knots, catch fish, swim, sail, and an assortment of many other piratey skills. If you guys are serious about this, I would gladly volunteer for a year. We could sail around the Caribbean giving out candy to children, like our pirate forefathers. I’m sure it would get such a ridiculous amount of publicity it would be no trouble getting donations from rich FSMians, or even atheists who would like to see something good being done. If we wanted, could probably sail around poor parts of mexico and middle america giving out delicious candy treats and pasta.
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Rich pastafarians it should read
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Yeah! Time to sail the high seas like real pirates! Awesome!
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Seriously, we should have a round-the-world piratical voyage, picking up Pastafarians of all nations, funded by ALL the above methods, with COMPULSORY noodles and spaghetti and OPTIONAL orgies and strip poker, since some of us are underage…-points at self-
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Let’s do it! It’d be the ultimate publicity stunt.
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@Newfie Buccaneer Nov 23rd, 2007 at 1:35 am
“Can Tie knots, catch fish, swim, sail, and an assortment of many other piratey skills.”
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Rum drinking/swilling and sculling skills?
Never mind, if you have worked on a fishing boat then I’m sure they’ll be sufficient :)
Welcome aboard Buccaneer :)
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Hi Goils N’ Bouys,
I am new to this “about a pirate ship”, but it sure sounds like fun. I have a couple of questions; the first I think was already answered. I really love spaghetti and I really love garlic and I reaaly love olive oil (not to be confused with Popeye’s girlfriend) and I really like parmasian. Can I eat all three together, instead of tomato sauce? The second question: I am a Goonie, can i still come on your ship?
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The truth is I am new to cyber-space. I have only recently posted to “….rather hilarious”.
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Thanks in advance for your help, understanding and kindness.
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May a cup of noodles be forever with you.
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@Seeker… of course you can eat Him with garlic, butter, parmesan, and olive oil. I add Old Bay to that, it is Divine.
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@ lilwench
hehe, nice to see my crabs have worn off on you!
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Well someone has to guard the Rum on this Pirate ship. I’d be willing to volunteer for that job.
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@Wench Cyka, if you have crabs, maybe you should hang out with cleaner pirates
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Oh helll no! Pass the beer, cover the table in newspaper, and pour them out, steamed in cheap beer and that Most Holy Spice!
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@ Saucy Balls
Hick! leave my job alone!
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@Wench Cyka
Arrrrr, the rum be mine…you can have the cheap beer!
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Since I wont drink it all myself I think it will be a lot safer in my hands! Give me the key and all will get a share in the rum ;) (except for Thumper who has gone into hiding after apparantly killing Ships Cat)
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Don’t worry too much about Ship’s Cat, he always manages to escape from Thumper, besides, the Wabbit knows he’d be facing the wrath of the wenches if he really hurt Ship’s Cat.
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Exactly, and I haven’t seen either of them for a long time now……
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Well, Thumper did just get married, the honeymoon is probably occupying his time.
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Red Dutchpasta Wench
“except for Thumper who has gone into hiding after apparantly killing Ships Cat”
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@storm petrel
“Thumper did just get married, the honeymoon is probably occupying his time.”
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Oh shit!! He put Ship’s Cat in the boot of his car to keep it away from the wedding. I wonder if he remembered afterwards that it was in there…..
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He’d better………………….. (6 months and counting till I get to Australia, now polishing best fryingpan)
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Ship’s Cat is very resourceful, if Thumper forgot about him, he’d probably be able to pick the lock with a claw and seek revenge…somehow I’d say Thumper had more sense than to give Ship’s Cat a reason to come after him on his honeymoon…
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@wench nikki
I will bring the best rum- Newfoundland Screech
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The best rum it´s caribbean, my.
Havana Club, Perla del Caribe, Estelar.
Good for cooking my “pasta al ron”
Oops.
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