I was bored at work today(the mortgage industry is slow) and wrote some haiku. I hope you like them.
Praise be unto You
Flying Spaghetti Monster
Creator of allStripper factories
And beer volcanoes await
In the afterlifeKeithO
*UPDATE – 1/19/2007 *Â
Here are some more Haikus, found in the comments section. Very nice.
Yes I have been touched
By His Noodley Appendage
It was a Good TouchFlying Spaghetti
Monster is the way of Life
Praised be He! RAmen.Midget, moutains, trees,
His Noodley Appendage
Has made all to be.Pirates the Chosen
Dictating the global temp
Wear your RegaliaWith His noodley
Appendage I have been touched
But not like that priestTo be a Pirate
and save the hole earth from DOOM
is great joy ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGOur Noodly master
Created the seven seas
For use by piratesAll hail His noodles
His meatball’s flavor sacred
And his sauce divinePriests Molest Children
But the Spaghetti Monster
Loves Us ProperlyNoodles in the Sky
Pirate fantasies fulfilled
Now cool down, hot world!The Pasta Monster
He grasps my with his noodles
Crap, I got scurvyA POEM:
The creator who holds us dear
did not look as what we hear.
he was not a man, or human at all
he was made of spaghetti and two meat balls.
he made us all
originally short
and it wasn’t even his last resort
Pirates are his people,
holy are they
who end every sentence with “Arrgh†as they pray.
Some might not believe,
but it is a fact,
our God was pasta
no, this isn’t an act
So lets all give
a hip hip horray
the FSM is here to stay
| 
@Gnocci Man
The Bible was written by God and is thus infallible as God is infallible.
The Bible tells us how to live every aspect of our lives. For example, as you noted above, handy cooking advice such as which creatures are edible, such as wild sheep, to those that are not…like rock badger. But don’t make the mistake of believing that the Bible is just about cooking…no sir…the Bible has all sorts of useful tips from dealing with annoying neighbours to slave etiquette.
I believe that if the Lord had intended that I think for myself he would have put it in the Bible.
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@Mooseman
Hey!…if it’s in the Bible that goats are clean then they’re clean…not like rock badger…now rock badger is a filthy animal.
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Just me again. Thumper you have said some pretty mean things about your friends. I hope they forgive you.
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@Innocent Bystander
Come again?…what mean things have I said “o” mysterious bystander?…are you my conscience?…are these posts real or imagined?
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Never mind I know what you meant.
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@Thumper
At it again…huh…
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Please…forgive me everybody.
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Yes please forgive him…he’s young, dumb and lying to mum about being in bed…this is the trouble with wabbits…they multiply fast…I’m outa here for now.
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Because I…always…run away when it gets to hard. Now I know who I am.
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That will…help…a few others to know to.
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“The Bible was written by God and is thus infallible as God is infallible” whoa there… think about that statement! thats up there with God is perfect, existence is a pre-requisite of being perfect therefore God exists! Douglas Adams would be proud of you. The statement that the bible was written by god is patently false. it was written by men that you claim were guided by god. if you are going to make a statement of fact i want to see some evidence. i hereby challenge you to provide a single solid piece of evidence that god wrote the bible and not men with a vested interest in social control…
.
“I believe that if the Lord had intended that I think for myself he would have put it in the Bible.”… in that case why bother with school? why not just sit in your animal skins, gathering firewood for your cave?
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@Thumper
You are actually using veiled humor against the fundamentalists in order to help support our cause, aren’t you (not a question). You behave a little too loosely about the Bible to be a fanatic, and a little too strangely to be very serious. I think that if you actually believed that ‘God’ didn’t wan’t anyone to think for themselves, you would probably be locked in a padded cell far away from any computers.
Am I right?
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I think that i should like to be
touched by appendages Noodly
Arrrg! i say to you who deny it
stop global warming, be a pirate!
its not much, but i wanted to pay tribute :)
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back to the subject topic:
.
Noodliness abounds
Wonderous Appendages
Grog filled happiness
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Sudsy volcanos
Giant stripper factories
Priates Paradise
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I had some spare time, you can just try to imagine the tune (or make up your own):
.
Background chant: Yo ho ho ho, Yo ho ho ho (In a piratey sort of way)
.
Leader: (sorry, couldn’t really piraticize his/her speech yet)
It’s great to be a pirate an’ to sail th’ seven seas,
It’s great to serve the FSM, and do just what we please,
We all worship his noodleyness and drink volcanic beer,
And fight the fundamentalists will jolly pirate cheer!
.
Chorus:
For science! For science!
We sail the ocean wide!
For science! For science!
And make the fundies hide!
For science! For science!
And drop the global temp!
For science and the FSM we sail towards tax exempt!
.
Leader:
Now you all know the story of the famous Davy Jones,
His locker is the storage place of all good pirates bones,
We’d really like to join them but we have a place reserved:
Up in the stripper factory, and does that make us perves!?
.
Chorus
.
Leader:
Perhaps you’ve heard some anecdotes of hate-mail on our site,
It keeps us strong and has us up late laughing every night,
We wonder why they think that we will burn for what we say,
When they say that the place we’ll burn is up in frozen Norway
.
Chorus
.
All together:
For science and the FSM,
We give a hearty Aaaarrrhh!
RAmen
.
RAmen, and feel free to make any changes you like!
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Down with religion
When it poses as science
Noodles to help us
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How about a limerick…
Thar once was a Pasta divine,
Who refuted intelligent design.
Midgets, mountains, and trees created.
Freethinkers and pirates related,
“Your invisible friend is weaker than mine”
The meter is weak, but I like it :)
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Limericks, hm? Let me give it a go…
.
There is a great a monster of flight,
Whose pasta reigns high day and night,
Bobby Henderson’s letter
Made us feel much better,
And His meatballs and sauce are just right!
.
And as a post scriptum, change the “frozen” part of my earlier song to saying ‘cold’. It fits in more easily with the rhyming pattern.
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Hahaha. Limeric time eh?
Mary had a little skirt,
Split high upon one side,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The boys could see her thigh.
Mary had another skirt,
Slit, right up the front,
But she never wore that one!
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@Alchemist
I’m not sure that that is a limerick, but who cares. Also, is there any chance that this might explain the whole “virgin birth” thing? In Ancient Greece women would sometimes explain “inexplicable” pregnancies with Europa and the Bull type stories (i.e.: I was walking through the market, and I saw this LOVELY pig… to which the husband/parent/etc would reply “ZEUS!”; If you aren’t familiar with Greek mythology, then don’t ask me to tell you about it, just do a google), and who’s to say that Miss “Virgin” Mary didn’t use the same slip on her husband?
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Hahahaha. Yup, Zeus was a bit of a lad. I did CS and Latin at school but a bit rusty. I remember that Circe had a thing for pigs too!
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They say “hell” is way out in Norway,
I think it could be in your doorway,
at work or at school,
too hot or too cool:
think nothing or think of it YOUR way!
RAmen to you Pirates!
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believe in meatballs
surrounded by spaghetti
no better option
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Love the poetyr guys!!!!!!
@Gnocci Man: Totally awesome song!! When I read it, I actually thought it’d sound pretty good as a rap.
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And yes, poetyr is a type of poetry. :)
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an eyepatch is good
a hook and a peg leg too
we will save the world
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our children
should not be taught in science
about christian god
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we discovered FSM
in our technology class.
he is really cool
and he tastes like Ragu.
our friends think were weird
because we worship a meal.
we thought we found his holyness
in an italian resurante
but it was just a plain plate of
spaghetti with meatballs.
IMPOSTER!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!
-the pirettes
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There once was a school down in Dover
Who said “Evolution is over”
They bid science goodbye
Stated: “ID’s no lie!”
And then suddenly IQ was lower
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A prez in the US of A
Thought that ID was really OK
But I’ll call all his tricks
‘Cause the ID don’t mix
With the process of thinking I say
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For your Rx Needs vist: OnlineShop-Today.net
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