fsm haikus

Published by Bobby Henderson January 19th, 2007 in General FSM news.

I was bored at work today(the mortgage industry is slow) and wrote some haiku. I hope you like them.

Praise be unto You
Flying Spaghetti Monster
Creator of all

Stripper factories
And beer volcanoes await
In the afterlife

KeithO

*UPDATE - 1/19/2007 * 

Here are some more Haikus, found in the comments section. Very nice.

Yes I have been touched
By His Noodley Appendage
It was a Good Touch

Flying Spaghetti
Monster is the way of Life
Praised be He! RAmen.

Midget, moutains, trees,
His Noodley Appendage
Has made all to be.

Pirates the Chosen
Dictating the global temp
Wear your Regalia

With His noodley
Appendage I have been touched
But not like that priest

To be a Pirate
and save the hole earth from DOOM
is great joy ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG

Our Noodly master
Created the seven seas
For use by pirates

All hail His noodles
His meatball’s flavor sacred
And his sauce divine

Priests Molest Children
But the Spaghetti Monster
Loves Us Properly

Noodles in the Sky
Pirate fantasies fulfilled
Now cool down, hot world!

The Pasta Monster
He grasps my with his noodles
Crap, I got scurvy

A POEM:

The creator who holds us dear
did not look as what we hear.
he was not a man, or human at all
he was made of spaghetti and two meat balls.
he made us all
originally short
and it wasn’t even his last resort
Pirates are his people,
holy are they
who end every sentence with “Arrgh” as they pray.
Some might not believe,
but it is a fact,
our God was pasta
no, this isn’t an act
So lets all give
a hip hip horray
the FSM is here to stay

82 Responses to “fsm haikus”

1. 41 - January 21st, 2007 at 1:42 pm - Tagliatellius Says:
   
   

   Thirty days have Septober,
   April, June and Nowonder,
   All the rest have peanut butter.
   All except my dear grandmother,
   She had a little red tricycle,
   I stole it.

2. 42 - January 21st, 2007 at 4:16 pm - Thumper Says:
   
   

   I don’t think that all of you FSM loonies truely realise the depths of wisdom that the Holy Bible has to offer.
   Given that your faith is somewhat centred around the divinity of a “main course” perhaps some of you can be turned from your wicked path by viewing what the “good book” has to offer with regard to culinary advice.
   Now if I may quote from Deuteronomy Chapter 14 verses 3-7:
   “Do not eat anything that the Lord has declared unclean. You may eat these animals: cattle, sheep, goats, deer, wild sheep, wild goats or antelopes. You may not eat camels, RABBITS (my emphasis) or rock badgers.”

   Verses 12-18 contain some useful information regarding edible birds.

   The wisdom of the “good book” is by no means limited to handy kitchen advice. I would encourage everyone to examine it’s provisions regarding the proper treatment of female prisoners of war that you have intercourse with but then decide not to marry.
   Turn away from the evil FSM and embrace the truth.

3. 43 - January 21st, 2007 at 4:33 pm - Jean Bart Says:
   
   

   Bunnyhop

   All its mails show scorn and hate,
   little bunny doesn’t know
   ’cause its level is too low:
   FSM is way to great!

   Little bunny’ll go away,
   will not stand our genuine wit.
   In its corner it wil sit,
   FSM is here to stay!

4. 44 - January 21st, 2007 at 4:38 pm - Peter Popoff Says:
   
   

   Thumpity dumpity
   sat on a wall
   Thumpity dumpity
   had a great fall
   all the queens and kings
   gathered around
   and laughed…

5. 45 - January 21st, 2007 at 4:45 pm - Dread Wench L'TUAE Says:
   
   

   HAHAHAHAHA!

6. 46 - January 21st, 2007 at 4:48 pm - Thumper Says:
   
   

   @Jean Bart
   “All its mails show scorn and hate”
   Tsk, tsk, tsk.
   @PP-off
   You’ve been working on that one all weekend haven’t you?

7. 47 - January 22nd, 2007 at 10:52 am - InstantRaMeNz Says:
   
   

   this is so ‘mazing
   sonnet shall i write awesome
   will it be RaMeN!

8. 48 - January 22nd, 2007 at 10:59 am - InstantRaMeNz Says:
   
   

   reserved

9. 49 - January 22nd, 2007 at 11:41 am - Gnocci Man Says:
   
   

   @Thumper
   Should you look closely at what you just said, than you would probably realise just how peculiar it is. Letting anyone completely dictate your personal life is akin to being a willing servant. Did your “God” explain WHY or HOW those meats are unclean? Is the Bible a cookbook, then? Are you just going to take whatever you read in that book to be completely infallible? Without ever once asking why?
   If your answer is ‘yes’, then you should consider slowing down and actually thinking about what is written in the Bible long enough to form your own oppinions. If your answer is ‘no’, then why have you been posting to us about the Bible’s cooking section?
   And please, if you DO decide to answer, then use your mind on it. Not your book.

10. 50 - January 22nd, 2007 at 2:08 pm - Mooseman Says:
    
    

    @Thumper

    Woah! Goats are clean? Goats?! There were some goats on the farm I grew up on and they ARE NOT CLEAN in any respect of the word! The billy (male)goats have this interesting habit of urinating on their beards and hind legs, the smell is exceedingly potent as well. I won’t describe it, you may want to eat again someday.
    Now you can believe what ever you want, and I’m sure you will, but don’t blow sunshine up my ass or tell me goats are clean.

11. 51 - January 22nd, 2007 at 10:21 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    @Gnocci Man
    The Bible was written by God and is thus infallible as God is infallible.
    The Bible tells us how to live every aspect of our lives. For example, as you noted above, handy cooking advice such as which creatures are edible, such as wild sheep, to those that are not…like rock badger. But don’t make the mistake of believing that the Bible is just about cooking…no sir…the Bible has all sorts of useful tips from dealing with annoying neighbours to slave etiquette.
    I believe that if the Lord had intended that I think for myself he would have put it in the Bible.

12. 52 - January 22nd, 2007 at 10:24 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    @Mooseman
    Hey!…if it’s in the Bible that goats are clean then they’re clean…not like rock badger…now rock badger is a filthy animal.

13. 53 - January 22nd, 2007 at 10:27 pm - Innocent Bystander Says:
    
    

    Just me again. Thumper you have said some pretty mean things about your friends. I hope they forgive you.

14. 54 - January 22nd, 2007 at 10:34 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    @Innocent Bystander
    Come again?…what mean things have I said “o” mysterious bystander?…are you my conscience?…are these posts real or imagined?

15. 55 - January 22nd, 2007 at 10:38 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    Never mind I know what you meant.

16. 56 - January 22nd, 2007 at 11:14 pm - Thumper (TM) Says:
    
    

    @Thumper
    At it again…huh…

17. 57 - January 22nd, 2007 at 11:16 pm - Thumper (TM) Says:
    
    

    Please…forgive me everybody.

18. 58 - January 22nd, 2007 at 11:22 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    Yes please forgive him…he’s young, dumb and lying to mum about being in bed…this is the trouble with wabbits…they multiply fast…I’m outa here for now.

19. 59 - January 22nd, 2007 at 11:26 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    Because I…always…run away when it gets to hard. Now I know who I am.

20. 60 - January 22nd, 2007 at 11:28 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    That will…help…a few others to know to.

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