God is not Noodly
Published by Bobby Henderson January 15th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 283 Comments
283 Responses to “God is not Noodly”
Connect
Contribute
The Church of the FSM is always looking for content. Details here
Support the Cause
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
Purchase the Gospel
Purchase from
Amazon.com
Purchase from BN.com
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Give
Propaganda Buttons
Add these buttons to your site:
Miscellaneous
Bobby's Blog
Contact Bobby: Contact Me
Hi Thumper, Blahblah blahblhblahblah… so on and so on.
If you want to pick a fight here, I’m all for it!
Bring it on!
However, your weak statement has been played to death, and bores me shitless!
Got any meat on dem bones?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ahh shit, same statement on this thread too! I invited him/her to play as well. One hit wonder Peter?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
More like a half wit wonder Alchemist.
I thought it would fight, but all it does is infects threads with copy/paste, that probably, took it half an afternoon, just to type.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Peter – Thumper has replied on the Religion, positive thread. I don’t know about you, but I quite fancy a theological discussion tonight (g)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh yeah! I’m all up for some intellectual stimulation,
Something tells me it won’t last though…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Goodness me such venom.
@Peter Popoff.
The FSM is “irrational/get a life” statement has likely been played to death as this would appear obvious to most thinking people. My apologies if you’ve heard it all before but frankly I wasn’t here when someone with a room temperature IQ first suggested it.
What exactly are your arguements in support of the FSM entity? Please try not to repeat Mr Henderson as I have read his satirical correspondence inadvertantly sparking this nonsense.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“What exactly are your arguements in support of the FSM entity? Please try not to repeat Mr Henderson as I have read his satirical correspondence inadvertantly sparking this nonsense.”
.
…and yet, HE STILL DOESN’T GET IT!
Argghh. *Goes off to bang head on the wall*
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hi Thumper, dang you remind me of a gerbil?
But anyway, my argument in support the FSM entity, mostly is common sense, and knowledge. There is more proof of the FSM, then their is of your guy in the sky.
We’ve even got charts! Does jesus have charts? nope! Not a one!
Something, I want to ask you though, before I go balls out, don’t worry we’ll to that.
But, what has god done for you lately?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh yeah, Thumper.
If you want, I can call on my friend “Lets play Bible”, thats what he calls himself, and I’m sure he would love to discuss bible studies with you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Dang, I was hoping, but no.
Just another wanna be, is that you, pansy boi?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
To Thumper… The Flying Spaghetti Monster exists and that is the entire truth. Christians need nothing but faith to believe in their Jesus; so is it with Pastafarians (of course, we DO have proof of His noodly existence but the point is moot here). So there. Get a sense of humor or live a sad life indeed.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thumpers in general are very cute, what with their invisible homicidal maniac friend and all. Hitler only killed tens of millions, but that God guy in the bible killed everyone and their brother.
.
What’s up with this type of thumper and their inappropriately large vocabularies and small, humorless minds?
.
Unless this guy’s pretending to be Thumper the Bunny. Those thumpers are cute in a different way.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Fr Corpus Callosum
You decide which Thumper you prefer…the rabbit or the rabid fundy. Frankly Scarlet I don’t give a damn.
I take umbrage at the term “humorless”.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
HooRay for Thumper!
Amen brother you come on this site and tell these jerks.
Like it is! About time somone did that.
AMEN
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“HooRay for Thumper!
Amen brother you come on this site and tell these jerks.
Like it is! About time somone did that.
AMEN”
.
Shouldn’t you be in bed already?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
To AGREED… please learn to spell and use punctuation correctly. Thank you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@PP-off
“Dang you remind me of a gerbil”, “dang, I was hoping”…dang, dang, diddley Pete you remind me of Ned Flanders.
Amen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey, Thumper, Bambi’s calling you to go to bed. It’s past time. You don’t want to get in trouble with Mommy Bunny.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Wench Beth
Ain’t that the truth. “Bambi” is waiting at home…just more proof that there is a God…unfortunately it’s not bed time here but thanks for the concern Wench Beth. What’s a nice girl like you doing believing in monsters?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I believe in monsters ’cause there’s one under my bed right now! Help!
.
Seriously, though, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as plausible as any other god out there (actually more so, since we have a graph as proof) and also I am concerned about global warming… that’s why I believe in the FSM and have become a pirate to help our environment. I think it’s working, too — it’s 19 F at my house right now!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
How dare you
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I can imagine Thumper singing “Me and my shadow”. AGREED: funny name for a bunny’s shadow… Oops: don’t rabbits aboard a ship bring bad luck? Aaaargh!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You know if something like this gets you this upset perhaps you should question how much faith you truly have in your beliefs…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You know Cttt, you’re right. If people are so threatened by the FSM that they have to resort to something like this, you have to wonder how strongly they beleive in ol’ Yahweh…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You’re right, God is not noodly, but FSM sure is! :)
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Very good point, CTTT and Jingles. These people obviously have doubts about their own faith or else they wouldn’t be here. Ta-da!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@CTTT, Jingles and Wench Beth
Turn it up!…the more fervent the believer the more likely they are to go about putting their beak in other peoples business.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Actually, it’s just the opposite… true believers are secure in their faith, while “doubting Thomases” have to seek confirmation by defending themselves needlessly. Ask any psychiatrist.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
That’s exactly correct Beth (and a thanks to CTTT for bringing it up)! Those who are true believers need no more proof that they already have. They will not try to convert others who differs in their beliefs but accept the way things flow. Human nature tends to be selfish and when usually one finds a treasure (especially one of redemption; the mortal form of the Holy Grail in quest fancy), they tend to keep it for themselves. Sure you have the Bible which tells people to share and everything but I will be damned if everyone who’s a Christian followde the Bible. In fact, here’s a little jail incarceration statistics (in America) for everyone:
http://www.adherents.com/misc/adh_prison.html
.
Note that atheists aren’t the ones who are causing all the evils in this world. :)
.
Also, Thumper, you’ve obviously not met a Southern Protestant. I can tell you one thing, they aren’t exactly “nice” to anyone that isn’t white or one that doesn’t bear their beliefs. Hmm…well it seems I went off on a tangent there.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well said, Navigator Spider!
Navigator Spider
Jan 16th, 2007 at 3:11 am
problem is, stupid people are mainly only attractive to other stupid people, and due to genetics, evolution and so on we end up with even more stupid people. Due to their stupidity they don’t stop breeding either. eventually we drown, in a single massive stupid biomass….
.
this needs to be fought now, we need to fight back with intelligence. I’m ready to do my duty and breed with some witty, intelligent, wenches. It’ll be a hardship but i’ll sacrifice my personal feelings for the good of the planet.
Also, well said, enerbrat …
enerbrat
Jan 15th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Its true.. God is not noodly! However, FSM is not “God†he is the creator as God is a person in the Christian Religion.
That’s pretty much what I would have put so instead of repeating it all … I’ll just say props!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Praying for those of you who have no pleasure in knowing your Lord. He will reveal himself. When he gathers his believers you will see it. If you do not believe and witness this as he says you will, please read the Bible and pray for salvation. (yes you will have a 2nd chance)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Praying for you all.
.
Nice sentiment but… nah.
RAmen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Second chance – I can wait until the last minute then! Bring on the beer and strippers
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Praying for you all Jan 23rd, 2007 at 10:06 am
“Praying for those of you who have no pleasure in knowing your Lord. “… DON’T. i did not ask to be prayed for, please keep your hands of my consciousness. Perhaps you would appreciate it if i offer to “think for you” since you obviously are unable to do it for yourself.
.
“He will reveal himself. When he gathers his believers you will see it. If you do not believe and witness this as he says you will, please read the Bible and pray for salvation. (yes you will have a 2nd chance)”. how can i possibly witness something that has not, does not and on balance of probability will not happen? I’ve tried reading the bible (also the Koran, Torah and various other collections of fairy tales) and it’s a collection of nonsensical rubbish that is taken as allegory or literal truth depending on your degree of delusion. Maybe we should suggest reading Darwin, Newton, Freud, Hawkins or Dawkins. They make sense, they have theories deduced from evidence. Some have charts and diagrams! so back up off my theological existence and try reading instead of condenming….
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Praise be! I can stop praying for my salvation. Here I was, sitting and eating a ham sandwich on wheat toast, and when I looked down there was Jesus’ face on the piece of toast! There was a second chance, you were right. Unfortunately, I was really hungry and Jesus’ face is no more. But, I do feel saved!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
All this theological disputation and jabbing reminds me of an ancient joke in which a masochist says “Please, hurt me!” to a sadist, and the sadist replies: “No! I won’t!” Why not let the Bible humpers …er, thumpers…threaten us with damnation (for ignoring used-car sales Ploy #3: “LAST CHANCE!”????) and spend time discussing the best ways to sell the Noodly Message, which is, after all, worthwhile: tolerance, laughter, and objectivity. Not to mention the eventual rewards of Noodly Living. Will it be OK if I ask in my will to be laid to rest in full pirate regalia????
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsIkQT86W-w
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Pope Murgatroyd
Yes but it not just the Bible humpers…er Thumpers…God seems rather clear on the issue of idolatry…and if I may quote God…
Deutteronomy 4 verses 15-19
“Even if your brother or your son or your daughter or the wife that you love or your closest friend or your lingerie model girl friend may secretly encourage you to worship other gods…kill him [or her] Be the first to stone him, and let everyone else stone him to”.
It would seem that God is the jealous type and with the whole omnipotence thing going on he’s bound to make my super ex girlfriend look like Bambi.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
That’s “My Super Ex Girlfriend” as in the film…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Startibartfast: Many thanks – and your point relative to idolatry is well taken. The business about killing idolaters is a little bit diluted in my Bible – the wussy and no-doubt commie-inspired RSV – but we can probably afford not to be distracted. As idols go, the FSM’s heart is in the right place, at least. I’d propose that Christians check out Lamborghinis (sp?), lingerie and its wearers of both sexes, American Idols, Archbishops fond of their will and evangelists fond of their TV income, movie stars, politicians of the right and left…. the reader is invited to finish the list. As Yahweh evolved from the God of everything in the immediate vicinity of the Dead Sea to everything in the immediate vicinity of California and Kansas, I had thought he’d gotten a little less jealous. Truly, sincere pologies to one and all – I can’t take by own advice, LOFLMAO.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Slartibartfast Jan 23rd, 2007 at 5:23 pm
That’s “My Super Ex Girlfriend†as in the film…”
Thats right. She is a langaler model.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Pope Murgatroyd
I would suggest that you get rid of that “pinko” version of the word of God and get one with a bit more “Tarantino” in it.
Nevertheless your response is both poignant and thought provoking…indeed the list of idolaters is long and distinguished. I’m off to gather up as many stones as I can find and cast them with vigor at any who will not join me in throwing stones until arrested.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
We are up to 6.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
6 what?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i pray to the flying spaghetti monster that you become impotent
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I want to explain something to everyone. “The Onion” is a satire newspaper. They don’t mean anything that they say. There’s no reason to worry for the sake of the second law of thermodynamics. The people who wrote that were just trying to make fun of fundies themselves.
-Avatar of Reason
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Navigator Spider Jan 24 at 10.48am
That’s just my groupie…the other Thumper.
I changed my names several times yesterday to see if it was just me he was following…it was and apparently he was counting my name changes…very flattering I guess but it does bring to mind Proverbs 22-15…”Children just naturally do silly, careless things, but a good spanking will teach them how to behave.”…it’s all there in the good book.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Praying for those of you who have no pleasure in knowing your Lord. “ (Whaa! Fundie!) Which Lord, though? Really, be specific! Are you talking about Christ or Allah or Zeus? (Somehow I doubt you’re talking about MY Lord, but that’s what you get for doing the whole ‘blind faith’ thing, eh?)
-
Although I suppose you could be talking about the all-mighty FSM…in which case you really don’t have to worry because everyone here is well aware of him!
(Is it me, or does ‘having pleasure in knowing your lord’ sound a tad….er….sexual? 0o)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
No, of course God is not noodly.
God is something invented by a bunch of Israelites a couple thousand or so years ago, because they were (gasp!) desperate for a reason for the meaningless mess that is reality.
Sadly, their reason is a badly-disguised excuse to kill people.
You gotta hand it to Pastafarians, their religion has never been used as an excuse to murder, and for that I salute it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Just wanted to follow Avatar’s comments up with two sidelights, one somber and one a perhaps humorous challenge. The somber one is that it was Ludwig Boltzmann who quantified – in elegantly simple terms – a system’s entropy in terms of the probability of its thermodynamic state. You can see that formula above Boltzmann’s bust at the tomb where he was eventually buried after killing himself. The challenge is to find humorous, but more or less acceptable restatements of the Second Law. My personal favorite, which is: “You can’t shove horseshit up a horse’s ass and get hay out its mouth.” seems – somehow – appropros of un-noodled fundies….
Like or Dislike:
0 
0