Ah… yet another ‘fringe’ religion trying to go main stream. Yet I wonder if you realize that standardized religion was set in place to keep the general masses in line? You see there was no standardized religion in the beginning. It wasn’t until the general populace started to become unruly that anyone decided to slap religion upon them. That way the leaders of the church could easily control those who threatened to topple their empires by creating a set of rules. I find it funny that supposedly only the leaders of these churches commune with “God” or whatever you choose to call your ‘creator’.
To be frank, I find your religion to be quite humorous. I also have something to point out that has been pointed out before… Why is it that your ‘creator’ is a mass of wheat, meat and tomato sauce? What if spaghetti had never been invented? What would you choose to idolize as your ‘creator’ then? I find it sad that you have sucked in these poor, directionless people. I personally find it sad that anyone needs to look to religion to find some sort of meaning to their life. We fear that which we do not understand. It’s simple human nature. If you feel the need to have a god, or goddess, or flying spaghetti monster or whatever run your life for you… fine. I still pitty you.
As for the doctor pointing to the bacteria as “proof” that a flying spaghetti monster exists… Please, don’t feed these people false hope. What you depict is simply a bacterium. Those tendrils or ‘noodles’ as I’m sure you call them, are simply a means of propelling the microbe through fluid. Be that water, blood, whatever. Your ‘pirate’ weatherman? Simply a man who had eye surgery and must wear an eyepatch to protect it from becoming infected. Your swimming ‘FSM’ in Northern California? Kelp. More commonly known as seaweed, but in fact the two are different. And finally… your proof that ‘Pastafarianism’ (which might I add isn’t clever at all) began in Israel? Simply a work of modern art placed in an old temple.
The name ‘Pastafarianism’ is actually a clever play on ‘Rastafarianism’, which was started by a Jamaican man named Rastafari. I find it sad that so many people believe so devoutly in this well thought out and well played joke. To see that so many people fight for this just proves my theory that humans are impulsive, dim-witted creatures that try so desperately to explain that which they can find no plausible answer to by turning to religion.
In closing I must state that the ‘global warming issue’ isn’t an issue at all. In fact the world still hasn’t fully come out of it’s second ice age and the rising tempuratures we are seeing are a result of that. Once more an example of humans fearing that which they do not understand. We try to explain things that frighten us. It is simply human nature. Also I must ask why you think that pirates are a different species than humans? I believe you said something about humans sharing 95% of their DNA with primates (specifically chimps if I remember correctly) and over 99% with pirates. Please… how many of you are truly that ignorant?
-Sincerely,
A devout believer in letting things be [Kieran]
“Why is it that your ‘creator’ is a mass of wheat, meat and tomato sauce?”
Isn’t it self evident?
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Wow kieran, you’re so much cleverer than we are!
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All we ask (actually demand) is that our theory be taught in schools as yet another alternative explanation of creation.
Won’t someone think of the children???!!!!
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Uh-oh, we’ve got a smart one here. You’ve seen through us Kieran. We’ve finally been exposed for our dishonest intentions. And we would have got away with it if not for meddling kids like you!
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“What if spaghetti had never been invented? What would you choose to idolize as your ‘creator’ then?”
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Good point. We’d probably have to choose something that has been invented. The pain, the pain.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Dilemmas
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Surely he’s kidding. Even the religious nuts are sharper than this guy.
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Kidding? Missing the point with THAT much virtuosity, that’s no kidding: you have to study a lot to achieve such level!
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I must say, we’ve got a bright boy here. I bet he got all the gold stars in grammar school.
If you actually read some of the items contained on this site you would have realized that the creator that is discussed is said to resemble meat, wheat and sauce; not actually be comprised of those things. Thus inferring that those ingredients are actually modeled after him, not vice versa.
Also as with any religion or belief system people tend to see their creator in all things around them.
Alas I ask all the Pastafarians to pray for something, certainly not your soul, but maybe your sauce.
Ramen
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Please, could anyone tell me that nobody in the USA takes the FSM serious? It is tremendously amazing how stupid half of you guys are. It is unbelievable that literally nobody of the hardcore-christians gets the point and that almost everybody of the anti-FSM-faction forgets his/her so called christian values when discussing the matter. No offence…
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I don’t wish to speak out of turn or rush to judge, but Kieran is a wanker.
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Now, now… It is not only your religion that I scoff, but all religion in general. Can we not all agree that humans as a species are prone to try explaining that which we do not understand and fear? To answer the questions in life which we cannot, we turn to religion. How was the universe created? No one can agree on it exactly, and every religion has a different idea on how this came about. Even science has several theories.
The fact that you all choose to mock me and my beliefs proves that you yourselves are no better than I.
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Did we barge in on your website and act all condescending?
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Thus, we are better than you.
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Kieran – do you, really, know what we are about?
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If I had a website for you to barge onto then I would tell you to feel free to come and mock my views. However, I don’t. I tend to look at things objectively. I read through all the information here on the site and based my opinion on what was presented. No more than anyone else would have done. You found something you believe in, great. Good for you. I simply find it hard to believe any of the information given.
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This is why we atheist’s can never get too cocky and start blaming all the evils of the world on religion. The real reason for evil? Mankind is just plain dumb.
Kieran… look around and pay attention!
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Clearly you didn’t do much thinking, or if you did, you’re an idiot who accepts everything at face value.
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Oooh goody :)
“You found something you believe in, great.”
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You really haven’t been paying attention, have you?
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nobody is mocking anyone. it’s a matter of your and other’s perception.
and right, we are or at least i am not better than you. that’s what your constitution says.
the only thing which makes me concerned is that the country which saved my relatives a long time ago is getting dumb. who saves europe when the chinese freak out?? france?
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Wow. Three posts at nearly the same time, saying the same thing! Open your eyes Kieran. You’ll be amazed when you do :)
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Kieran – try to look past what is being said and try to see what is being said. No one here actually believes this buffoonery any more than you do – that is the whole point – this whole set of made up beliefs is just as believable with just as much reality as any other religion out there – only better – we have beer volcanos and strippers.
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Oh, I’ve been paying attention. You all believe in a huge joke. No skin off my bones. Also, Thomas… I understand that good and evil is subjective to who rules the world at the time. The winners write history. The losers are always made out to be evil. Man kind has advanced far beyond what we are capable of truly comprehending. Our impulsive nature ensures our early demise from this world, if not destroying that too in the process.
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I just find it funny that there are those who actually lash out at those who write such things as I have. -Shrugs lightly.-
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i think you got it kieran. dankeschön!! thanks to you my hope is still alive!
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Oooh Kieran. I like the cut of your jib! You going to hang around for a while? You sound like you’re a lot better edumacated than what I is {eg} Please. Hang around us dumb, gay idiots. I’ll just bet you’ll have some fun! Wot, wiff u bein clever an zat. wee r 2 fik 2 no wot satireizz
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And I know sarcasm when I see it, Alchemist. Tis my family’s most used form of humor.
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i support kieran point of view very much..for me he’s the one who tried to be rational about all this stuff..and people here don’t wanna used their ‘brain’ to even think the logic behind his post..pity for all of u..
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Kieran Jan 15th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
I just find it funny that there are those who actually lash out at those who write such things as I have. -Shrugs lightly.-
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Did I ever tell you, you were my hero?
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“You all believe in a huge joke. No skin off my bones.”
Look. You may sound all smart and you may have a much bigger vocabulary than most of the hate mail we recieve, but you are almost as deluded. We. DON’T. REALLY. BELIEVE. This is SATIRE. SATIRE. Do you know what that is? The thing doesn’t work is we act like we don’t believe, or if we have to explain it. If you had really done your research, you would know this, so don’t even come off all “I’m so much better than you pathetic fools”. FSM why must we go through this every week?
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“The name ‘Pastafarianism’ is actually a clever play on ‘Rastafarianism’, which was started by a Jamaican man named Rastafari. ”
……
It is?!?!?!?!?!!? You mean it wasn’t just made up and a stunning coincidence???
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acai Jan 15th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
i support kieran point of view very much..for me he’s the one who tried to be rational about all this stuff..and people here don’t wanna used their ‘brain’ to even think the logic behind his post..pity for all of u..
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U r prolly right an stuff!
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Peter Popoff Jan 15th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Kieran Jan 15th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
I just find it funny that there are those who actually lash out at those who write such things as I have. -Shrugs lightly.-
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Did I ever tell you, you were my hero?
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Your everything I hoped I’d be… … …
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Oh, come on… You people are STILL attacking me? I gave in to your little game and wrote an e-mail on my personal beliefs, and yes I included this ‘Pastafarianism’ as an example. You people thrive on lashing out at others for their apparent stupidity. Have you ever stopped to consider that I’ve been playing along with the joke? o_O Who’s ignorant now?
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kieran—>spot on..yes, we are in the middle of playing game imho..:) i know from the first place this satire..why are u so mad Dread Wench L’TUAE ??!!
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kieran is right folks…..don’t exaggerate. he got it and now it’s your turn to be tolerant.
Kieran Jan 15th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Oh, come on… You people are STILL attacking me? I gave in to your little game and wrote an e-mail on my personal beliefs, and yes I included this ‘Pastafarianism’ as an example. You people thrive on lashing out at others for their apparent stupidity. Have you ever stopped to consider that I’ve been playing along with the joke? o_O Who’s ignorant now?
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No offense, but I don’t see how you’re playing along. Count this up to my “ignorance” if you want, but insulting us doesn’t really register as a joke with me.
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Kieran Jan 15th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Oh, come on… You people are STILL attacking me? I gave in to your little game and wrote an e-mail on my personal beliefs, and yes I included this ‘Pastafarianism’ as an example. You people thrive on lashing out at others for their apparent stupidity. Have you ever stopped to consider that I’ve been playing along with the joke? o_O Who’s ignorant now?
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I am not sure?
Is rolling around on the floor, laughing our asses off?
Laughing at you?
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Insulting you? No, Dread Wench L’TUAE… I’m insulting the entire human race.
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whether you meant it or not meant or not, the true meaning did not carry over with the typing. So sorry if I’ve somehow misenterpreted all of this.
“why are u so mad Dread Wench L’TUAE ??!!”
I was mad because we get people every day with the same attitude, albiet a much cruder way of getting it across.
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Kieran – I’m sorry if you were just being witty. You seemed to be coming over as a little bit ” I’m sooo much more intelligent than you”
Was I wrong?
Sorry if I was.
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I’m with alchemist here, I think I missed something.
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Don’t any of you know that Ras Tafari was Heile Salassi, emperor of modern Egypt?
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Well, I think this whole thing is a hoax. I tried to give scientific proof that spaghetti could fly and all I got was a wet slimy kitchen floor and a slight erection. Bummer.
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Heile Salassi was in Ethiopia.
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I do believe that you missed something here. I was trying to get a point across. It seems that I did not make that point clear enough. Human nature… we fear that which we do not understand. As such, so long as you have this site up and there are people out there that believe this as a true religion, there are going to be people that fear it and write crude letters. I admit that I was a bit elaborate in this.
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All i know is that the post was too long for me to read, i got bored. Anyway, i’m glad there is more hate mail.
@The Moronic European, I am American, and if you think you’re bothered that our country is full of idiots, how do you think i feel? Who is gonna bail us out? But you gotta give Bush credit, you can’t criticize his foreign policy…. he was smart enough not to develop a foriegn policy to be criticized ;)
Believe me, if anyone wishes the general American population was not stupid its me.
Dr. Worm
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well of course you couldn’t get it to fly Marc, the FSM has powers we can barely comprehend! what were you using? arm power? or perhaps a home-made catapult?
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Re-Oared Marc Jan 15th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Well, I think this whole thing is a hoax. I tried to give scientific proof that spaghetti could fly and all I got was a wet slimy kitchen floor and a slight erection. Bummer.
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You must have missed the memo, spaghetti Does fly!
You don’t throw it! You place it on the back of a Hippo.
That is being carried by The Wingless Blue Moon Chicken, in the middle of the desert.
During a 3/4 moon.
I thought everybody knew that?
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Re-Oared Marc – “Heile Salassi was in Ethiopia.”
HAHAHAHAHA
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you’re not going to let facts get in the way of a good point are you?
RAmen
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Also, to make a note for The Moronic European, I’m American too. If anyone wishes that our country wasn’t run by morons, it’s us. Trust me.
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okay Kieran, but if you get it then why do you say you’re sorry he’s sucked in all these poor directionless people, and further go on to smash the recent proof. Or were you using sarcasm? It didn’t seem like that in your letter.
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as for the run by morons thing:
Only 2 more years!
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Dread Wench L’TUAE Jan 15th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
I’m with alchemist here
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Hell – you’re going to have to up the tablets :-)
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Hey guys! I stopped by to ask for some help. Tomorrow my university is holding a screening of the new documentary “Flock of Dodos: The Evolution/ Intelligent Design Circis”
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http://www.flockofdodos.com/
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A panel discussion will follow, and includes faculty from biology, anthropology, geology, and religious studies. I am going to the event in full pirate regalia, to hand out FSM propaganda! I’d also like to ask the panelists an FSM based question.
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I’m not sure what to ask at this point. Anyone have any ideas?
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Kieran “I admit that I was a bit elaborate in this.”
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ooh, you do speak nice. Proper posh like. You’re not one of us playing silly buggers are you?
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at least Kieran hasn’t yelled at us and said we are going to hell, and he dose have some good points, but I stand behind FSM fully YARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
@ moronic european
you may think that all americans are dumb lazy and crude, but that is very few of us. if our country wasn’t filled with idiots, we might be able to get out of Iraq, fix new orleans, and maybe fix up our country,(i couldn’t tell you if all states are as screwed up as MI) besides what country are you from?
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Nick – kinda leaves one speechless doesnt it? Im still thinking, but havent come up with a good question yet. still thinking.
wench l’taue – could i call ya wench for short? – 2 more years of morons – lol – the scary thing is what next – 4 more years or what is my next option?
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@Dread Wench- “as for the run by morons thing:
Only 2 more years!”
Unfortunately Bush isn’t the only idiot running the country. Most people holding political office are stupid, Republican and Democrat alike. Traditionally i am republican but i hate republicans and democrats and everyone else involved in politics at this point.
Dr.Worm
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McSpaghetti Jan 15th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
@ moronic european
you may think that all americans are dumb lazy and crude, but that is very few of us. if our country wasn’t filled with idiots, we might be able to get out of Iraq, fix new orleans, and maybe fix up our country,(i couldn’t tell you if all states are as screwed up as MI) besides what country are you from?
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I’m dumb lazy and crude, but I’ve got my own indoor swimming pool.
So I’m blissfully happy. :)
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Heathen “…2 more years of morons – lol – the scary thing is what next – 4 more years or what is my next option?..”
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You wish! Try “the rest of your life”. Morons aren’t just at school or Uni. They’re all over the bloody place!
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@Dr.Worm
i will not start a political discussion about Bush. well…just a little one….he screwed it. but i’m convinced that he (or whoever was pulling the strings) could have done better. for the future i ask you to get presidents who are smart. democrat or republican doesn’t matter. i think democrats are diet-republicans and besides from my outside point of view both have their advantages. God or FSM bless America! Seriously.
and i know that you guys don’t give a f#?k about my opinion :)
cheers
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Dread Wench L’TUAE
Jan 15th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
okay Kieran, but if you get it then why do you say you’re sorry he’s sucked in all these poor directionless people, and further go on to smash the recent proof. Or were you using sarcasm? It didn’t seem like that in your letter.
———————————————————
It’s called being a good method actor, Dread Wench.
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indoor pool, id be happy too
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indoor pool i’d be happy too
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“Traditionally i am republican but i hate republicans and democrats and everyone else involved in politics at this point.” AGREED. None of those guys know what the heck they’re doing, if you ask me. (If, from the comments, this is a joke hate-mail, then it was pretty well-done. Could use more ‘ur goin to helL yu fagz’, though.)
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Peter. I think I should say something here, not just because we’re friends either.
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Moronic European is just that! A moron. I don’t count myself as a European, I live in England. We tend to think of ourselves as completely different to the rest of the world. To make matters worse, I’m from Yorkshire. We don’t think we’re from England.
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This “America is shit” attitude does nobody any favours! We are all human beings. The Americans on this site are not their government. Neither am I Tony Blair!
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Moronic European – we are all the same people. Grow up and be glad that we have the right to slag people off!
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I have a question for you to ask, Nick. Why are we continuing this ludicrous discussion that only a handful of scientists disagree with? It only gives credence to the IDiots. This is America, where a third of the country, tens of millions of people, believe that Bush is right and smart and stuff! Why shouldn’t they believe that evolution is untrue and that God Did It? They’re morons!
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Kieran. Method acting eh? So who have you been lurking as :) ?
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i think this hate mail discussion is heading twards moronic european
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@McSpaghetti
i said half of your country seems to be stupid. just a half, not everybody. i don’t care about iraq or whatever. for me it’s important that you comprehend that you did a mistake. i don’t think it is wrong what you have done over there but i think the way you’ve done it was wrong like breaking off friendship with your closest friends, thinking that you could convert a people of 60 million to democracy with about 150000 GIs. I mean there were more than 3 million soldiers in germany after WW2 (remaining population of germany comparable to nowadays iraq) and voila…we have a working democracy. i’m german as you might notice.
@Peter Popoff
i’m doing my best to achieve the same luxury as you have,
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wow re-oared that is so brilliant, but tens of millions isnt much in the US where we have a 300 million population, and i can tell you right now almost everyone but christians want intelligent design out of the classroom, leave that for church. if you believe a god made the world so be it, but to try and push it on others is ignorant
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ok, after reading the posts, i think it’s time for me to shut up.
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Alchemist Jan 15th, 2007 at 7:16 pm
Peter. I think I should say something here, not just because we’re friends either.
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Moronic European is just that! A moron. I don’t count myself as a European, I live in England. We tend to think of ourselves as completely different to the rest of the world. To make matters worse, I’m from Yorkshire. We don’t think we’re from England.
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.Alchemist, haha, I can tell a moron from a moron, why do you think I hang with you, hahaha.
Besides, I’ve met one other person, who lives in Somerset. A very good friend of mine actually! And heck, I hardly think of him as a moron, hardly ever really!
So that’s proof right there that not all English are morons, besides, I’ve got a lot of that Euro type blood in me anyway.
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People are people, smug ass clowns, well, are smug ass clowns.
It’s kind of like that phone call you are going to make, remember, you’ll get what you pay for! ;)
Ramen
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@ moronic european- im not saying that going to iraq was a good idea, far from it, and believe me i know about ww2 (kinda obsessed), im just sayin that our national gaurd could be doing more use over here in the areas hurting from natural disasters. there is only so much that ill equipped 40 year olds can do in a country far from thier families and homes
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@The Moronic European Jan 15th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
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I’m not sure what you mean about 3 million soldiers in Germany after WWII?
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I’ve had a bad day Peter. Just itching for a fight :)
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@alchimist
3 million was estimated. i have no idea actually. and the situation is just slightly comparable. sorry for posting stupid things.
@spaghetti
good point. and no worries, i’m not obsessed.
@everybody
my english isn’t good enough to explain properly what i’ve written before
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no im obsessed with ww2
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@spaghetti: see? my english…….. :)
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huh now im confused
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Moronic European. Posting silly things is not an excuse. To compare post WWII Europe and especially post war Germany to Iraq is not on. Post war Germany suffered beyond belief. The Berlin wall was testimony to that. Mistakes were made. Making Stalin an ally was one of the worst!
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The invasion of Iraq, for me, was wrong. It should have been done in 1992. The situation now is so unstable that Iran or Syria could / will take control if we leave. To leave now, though, and to allow a religious group to take over. One that has publicly declared that their aim is to annihilate Israel. A country that blatantly ignores the UN and continues in it’s goal to secure nuclear weapons!
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That would be criminal!
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the moronic european has to rest now to ensure there is enough moronic energy left for tomorrow.
final statement: yorkshire sucks! i’ve never been there but i have to behave at least a little bit like a cliche-fulfilling Hun.
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“That would be criminal!”
It unfortunately will happen though, Alchemist.
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Let’s face it… the republicans got the Yanks into the mess, the democrats will try and pull them out. No politician (barring Dubya, he’s the exception to alllllll sorts of rules) is stupid enough to keep this war going much longer, and if it causes the further collapse of Iraq, well, somehow I think they won’t care so long as they get votes.
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ok final final statement.
@alchemist. i couldn’t have said it better. i totally agree with you
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@A devout believer in letting things be [Kieran]
i’m sure someone has already said this to you: hahahahahahahahahahahaha
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I don’t have a problem with the war, i just have a problem with the way it is being handled and the reasons we claim we’re over there. But i will say one thing, i do support the troops, no matter how stupid their leaders may be, and that goes for all countries, not just my own. I’m tired of this tip toeing around bullshit. We (by “we” i mean all countries involved) need to send enough troops to get the job done, or bring them all back, either way, i don’t care. But as it is right now, the troops over there suffer because they dont have enough support. So either give them the resources they need or bring ‘em home, thats my position.
Dr. Worm
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Jingles – I’ve no doubt that you’re right. It’s not just Americas fault though. The UK is equally to blame, I’m afraid. All we seem to have done is soften up Iraq, just nicely for the fundamentalists to step in with their “Infidel, kill them, for Allah and Mohammed, blessed be his name”
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I’ve always been a bit sceptical, even when I was supposedly a christian. This stuff now, Islam, Christianity. I honestly think the mad bastards want to start Armageddon!
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I used to extremely tolerant. Now I just feel rage when I hear them! Don’t they know that it’s other peoples lives they’re fucking with! No, of course not. They’re too damned selfish to think of other people!
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Sorry, I did say I was having a bad day :)
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Of all this Iraq talk, both pro and con.
I wondered a couple of days ago, why nobody ever brings up the reason, that after it started and no weapons were found. That GW and TB both at that time called it a war for freedom? I’m I the only one that remembers this? I thought then as I still do… “What is a war for freedom”. How do you define “freedom”? I’m sorry but I’ve never seen this addressed? Is it just me, or does that statement just sound ludicrous?
Isn’t “forced freedom” a contradictory statement? Or am I just to wasted tonight?
And yes, I know we now call it the war on terror, but for a long while it was a war ‘for freedom’.
Anwsers?
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Dr Worm. Well said. It doesn’t matter what our views are. It’s happened. We must support those who are out there.
RAmen!
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It’s understandable, Alchemist. When you see people who want you dead because you’re not exactly like them, even though they know nothing about you…enough to give me the chills!
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Leaving Iraq to just be taken over by the strongest dictator/power/religious faction is not a great option particularly considering the stated political/world objectives of the most likely candidate (Iran).
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However, Iraq, as a country of Shiites, Sunni, and Kurds trying to live together will not work – way too much history of trying to kill each other and no inclination of trying to work together.
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Best solution I’ve seen (not that there arent many problems with it) is to split the country into three new countries along religious lines (Shiite, Sunni, Kurd) try as best as possible to support all three, and try to keep the Iranians out. This will be a multi, multi, multi year (spelled no end in sight ) effort. Probably been best to not muck it up in the first place, however now that we have made a mess – what to do now?
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also, for those that helped (thank you) note please the puncuation/paragraphs!!
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You know, it’s nice reflective moments like these that I feel the Nihilism start to take hold…
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That lovely warm feeling of, no matter whatever the f**k we do, the world is going to hell in a handbasket (and I don’t mean the quaint little town in Norway, or the rippoff version in Michigan).
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And yes – ditto – the credit belong to those who are actually in the field trying to do the best they can to support government policy – right or wrong – these solders are the ones who bear all of the weight of the decisions and deserve all of our respect and support for trying to do what they can with what they have.
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@Kieran Jan 15th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
“As such, so long as you have this site up and there are people out there that believe this as a true religion, there are going to be people that fear it and write crude letters.”
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How on earth are we going to get the FSM creation story taught along side the genesis creation story, if it should be introduced in schools, if people don’t believe this is a real religion? How are we going to get the religous status tax breaks to buy our Pirate ship?
Hail His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen
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“there are going to be people that fear it and write crude letters.â€
That’s not fear, rather it is jealously. This is due to the fact that our heaven has beer volcanos and strippers. Plus FSM folowers don’t have to live their lives in fear, and under thought control, to gain entry!
They are mostly annoyed because the FSM religion simply offers so much more at a much, much lower price.
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Jingles “You know, it’s nice reflective moments like these that I feel the Nihilism start to take hold…”
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You and me both mate!
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Heathen “..Best solution I’ve seen (not that there arent many problems with it) is to split the country into three new countries along religious lines”.
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Yeah, that worked a fucking treat in India! They’re still killing each other!
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@Nikkiee
“Plus FSM folowers don’t have to live their lives in fear, and under thought control, to gain entry!”
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Hmmm… this brings to mind a question… does being drunk count as thought control?
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Oh, and Heathen, with the split the country plan… the biggest problem is that while the Shiites get the oil-rich south, and the Kurds get the mineral-rich (I think) north, the Sunnis get a great big load of desert in the middle. As you might guess, they aren’t too happy about that…
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@Jingles Jan 15th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
“Hmmm… this brings to mind a question… does being drunk count as thought control?”
Only if you prefer it to be Jingles
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Don’t forget the midgets!
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Alchemist – didnt say it wasnt without its problems. At least in India/Pakistan they are in seperate countries and have to actually travel some distance to be able to kill each other. Shoving em all in one country and telling em to be nice will will result in the total genocide of one side or the other (not to mention the Kurds who both sides seem to enjoy killing) At least make em travel some distance – some logistical problems – before they can enjoy killing. Dont think togetherness is gonna work, maybe a little distance will make the heart grow fonder.
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Bring on the “I’m so much cleverer than you” people. I’m in a bloody shitty mood and want an argument!
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Heathen – er Kashmir?
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Jingles – you are right, but I dont see togetherness working as a viable alternative
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“Only if you prefer it to be Jingles”
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Yay! My thoughts are under noodley control!
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Alchemist – you are rolling man, everybody back off!!
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Did you not have enough beer/pasta tonight???? Be nice.
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I couldn’t give two Shi’ites about Iraq, whether the whole place boils and Kurd’les over, or the dust storms block out the Sunni’shine forever. The best thing America can do is to Iran away and say S(ee)yria later.
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Heathen -don’t really feel like being nice tonight! Don’t feel like being polite, don’t feel like making excuses for people, don’t feel like being an apologist for the way I think.
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I only have one life, why should I live it apologising for who I am?
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Seriously, Keiran; my sarcasm skills aren’t the greatest, but your over-elaborate message there was kind of pathetic. You really need to understand that that didn’t seem at all like ‘playing along’. You spoke in no more eased a tone than the majority of the IDiots who come here criticizing Mr. Henderson’s stroke of satirical genius.
On another subject now: it’s sad, yet true, that the greater part of America are total morons. Even more unfortunately, most of them are too close-minded to listen to the few who could actually reason themselves out of a paper bag. The next two years are going to be happy fun times for us.
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Alchemist, dantes_torment.
Ya’ll just need to get swimming pools!
Ramen!
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I’m going to take my shitty mood to bed and let you lot have fun. Sorry folks, I’ll try to be nice next time :(
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That lovely warm feeling of, no matter whatever the f**k we do, the world is going to hell in a handbasket (and I don’t mean the quaint little town in Norway, or the rippoff version in Michigan).
-jingles don’t you feel its ironic that the two cities named hell are both in places that are cold?
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I need a pool, someone give me a pool…
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Dr.Worm,
A vote for Peter Popoff, is a vote for a pool in every home!
Ramen!
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Alchemist,
G’nite dude, I sent you another one…
Peace,
Ramen
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Hey everyone! I just have to weigh in and say that I’m ashamed of Dubya, and I didn’t vote for him… or his father. I’m sick of the war and I’m sick of morons everywhere telling me what I’m supposed to believe about other people and deities.
Also, I think Keiran sounds a lot like TLM.
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You know what else I’m sick of? Having to say, “Sorry” every time I say, “God Dammit” or “Jesus H. Christ” to a very Christian co-worker. I’m a nice person, but I feel like a criminal. Yet, when I wanted to share my lamentation that the inventor of Ramen passed away, I shied away from saying anything about the CoFSM for fear of alienating several very Christian co-workers. I’m not even in the Bible Belt! Bastards.
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SaucyWench,
I hear you!!! THOSE BASTARDS…!!!
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ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!! bastards
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Thanks, Peter. By the way, I can’t figure ot the gmail thing. Am I supposed to send an invite to everyone who somehow sent me something? I’m sick of being technologically challenged, too.
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Peter, I think I need some of your water. I’m just plain sick.
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Saucy, waters on the house!
Help yourself.
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I don’t know myself, what proper email etiquette is?
I came on kinda late tonite, kinda bomed tonite, And I’m kind of overwhelmed.
I guess you respond if you want to? Or don’t?
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I think it’s mostly, if you want to reach someone, your share a joke or story or something, that might not fly on here?
We’ll figure it out or not?
Ramen
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@SaucyWench, to answer your gmail question, supposedly the only way you can get a gmail account is to be invited but it doesnt really work that way. I think its just an easy way for the creators to spread gmail witout having to advertise or anything. I use gmail and love it and invite anyone in my contact list who i think might like it.
@Peter- dude, if you get me a pool i’ll vote for you. 8 years of Peter!!!
Time for this pirate to hit the hammock. Night maties!!!!
Dr.Worm
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I believe you said something about humans sharing 95% of their DNA with primates (specifically chimps if I remember correctly) and over 99% with pirates. Please… how many of you are truly that ignorant?
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Well to be honest about it, we (humans) share about 99% of our DNA with every other human on earth. It’s that 1% that makes us different from each other. Gotta love facts ;)
RAmen
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I’m truly that ignorant….
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And for the record, i don’t share my DNA with anybody, for the same reason i don’t give blood; it’s part of my body and i’m gonna keep it. What can i say, i’m selfish, i never learned to share when i was young. So like i said, nobody or no animal is ever sharing my DNA with me, you can just f#@k right off… its mine!
Dr. Worm
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Kieran, although you have no sense of humor and have completely missed the point regarding Pastafarianism, I do agree with you about:
“…to make a note for The Moronic European, I’m American too. If anyone wishes that our country wasn’t run by morons, it’s us. Trust me.”
RAmen to that. And SaucyWench has got the right idea, too. I’m tired of the idiocy in the U.S. government and I’m doing everything I can to help a change happen. If that doesn’t work, I’ll be packing up and seeing you Pastafarians in Europe in 2008… :)
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Peter Popoff for President in ‘08 ! ! !
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@Alchemist:
There was a religious nut here that said it would be a good idea to give nukes to the Islamist freaks, and let them nuke Israel. That would trigger the return of Jesus, he said, and rapture and Armageddon.
The sad part is that there are some stupid redneck jesus-freaks who think this is a good idea.
And it could happen.
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from Wench Nikee
>>heaven has beer volcanos and strippers.>>
Maybe that is how we win the war.
Their heaven has 72 virgins. After a couple of months, they are all just sluts you have already banged. Then what?
Maybe the lure of beer volcanoes and stripper factories can seem like a better deal. Plus, they don’t have to blow themselves up to get it!
Maybe that is why the FSM is so feared…
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@dantes_torment
>>The next two years are going to be happy fun times for us.>>
You are going to enjoy watching our government destroy us? Why?
We are not the Romans who slaughtered your people, we are the guys that saved you from the Nazis.
Why do you hate us?
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dammit. when i first read kieran’s post i thought we had another doktor mikey on the way. but compared to most haters this guy is positively benign.
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but there are plenty out there who will fear the FSM. skim through all the hatemails venganza has received and tell anyone that they don’t come from fear…the ultimate fear that we may be right and they’re wrong. who would have thought a satire would cause so much trouble? good for laughs though.
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Morning all!
What a completely pathetic attempt at “humour” or “Acting” or whatever it was!
How odd!
@Saucy – I haven’t a clue on the google thing either – I’m going to have a play in a minute though.
@ Alchemist – don’t apologise – if you want to tell them all to fuck off go ahead!
Hope you feel better this morning – I advise playing your stereo REALLY LOUD!
@ everyone else – catch you later :)
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kieran, admit it. When you sent in this email, you didn’t realize than anyone who professes “belief” in pastafarianism is completely joking and using it as a means to point out how ludicrous all religion is. You thought you were fighting the good fight. And you were trying to sound intelligent. read the first paragraph of your piece and you’ll see what I mean. No one is impressed with your mediocre phrasing or vocabulary. you come off sounding like a pompous asshole with no sense of humor. Yes, your points are valid… but they are also the REASON PASTAFARIANISM EXISTS. anyone who is a self proclaimed pastafarian realised everything you wrote the minute they heard about a giant flying spagghetti monster.
If you want to pick on an ABSOLUTELY INSANE FRINGE RELIGION who’s members should be committed to mental institutions, pick on SCIENTOLOGY. those guys are WAY crazier than we are. And they’re for real. they actually believe some CRAZY shit. look it up online if you’re interested.
the point of pastafarianism is to point out how easily one can make a completely nonfactual case for any whackjob religious theory, and that none of the claims here are any crazier than ANY MAJOR RELIGION.
and you obviously missed that point.
thanks for playing.
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@Keiran,
You wasted all that time writing a long message to us, just to prove that you don’t have a sense of humour?
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@Homo narrans
“who would have thought a satire would cause so much trouble? good for laughs though.”
Have you been under a rock in 2006?!?! I seem to remember World War III almost erupting because of some cartoons in a Danish newspaper. Ok, maybe not actually WW-III, but plenty of people trampled to death during protests, Muslim fanatics calling for the paper editors who repeated the cartoons to be beheaded, for Denmark to be bombed (Denmark, of all places….oh dear), etc. You’d be amazed how rife Humor Disorder Deficit is amongst the religious crowd. Many of those people would lighten up a bit if they drank a bit of good dr. Popoffs miracle water. But the HDD virus is obviously a highly evolved life form and has preemted this threat by outlawing alcohol. Obviously that’s not a coincidence, so what more proof of evolution do you need?
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HDD truely is a plague, there really is no cure though, people with HDD rarely improve with drink, they just get more annoyed and strident that whatever the joke was, IT’S NOT FUNNY, they always start to yell too, I really can’t understand why, it’s not like I’m very dismissive of them
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Oh,I agree so much with “Honestly.” I am 50 years old and Wench Beth,Peter Pop Off,Saucy Wench,Jingles etc. are out of MY league when it comes to responses to people like Kiernan. It just amazes me that some people just don’t “get it”! I came across this FSM site through my son and instantly knew the reasoning behind it, and I am far from knowing the bible and religion! What is up with people? Ummmmmmm….can we say,”not free thinker’s?”Maybe not so much “Kiernan” but Bobby gets some really strange hate mail, scary huh? To think that those people that write all that hate mail might become people to go into politics! I love this site, it really does say a LOT, if people would only LISTEN!! RAmen!
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@Tina B
And apart from going into politics, where most outside the Bible belt would have a healthy distrust towards them, they can start a family too. Those kids would find it quite a bit harder to just shrug them off as lunatics and ignore them. Probably will become just like them. Oh, the horror.
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Pitty. Heh.
Main stream. Heh.
I won’t even try to tackle the grammar issues.
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@DutchPastaGuy
Thats already happening. You heard about the father in the Federal way school district in Washington state? He complained that they were showing “An Inconvenient Truth”. Why? Because he says that: “The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn’t in the DVD.” Lets just hope their kids are critical thinkers. Here’s the link to the complete article: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/299253_inconvenient11.html?source=mypi
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I lol’d.
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Obviously, Kieran’s problem isn’t that (s)he doesn’t get it, but the (s)he’s not funny. Hate mail is here for our amusement. If you don’t make us laugh, prepare to be keel hauled. YARRR!
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http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/299253_inconvenient11.html?source=mypi
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holy, holy shit. it’s exactly the sort of opinions presented by the people in this article which make me wish the Bible Belt and every fucking oil baron would spontaneously combust. you know, i guess during the bronze age religion could be considered relatively harmless. tribes went to war, a few hundred people got butchered at a time…certainly the survival of the human race wasn’t threatened by superstitious idiocy.
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the scumfucks in that article need to wake up and smell the sulphur dioxide. they’re selling out the future of the planet for the sake of short-term profits and comfortable religious delusions. fuck them, fuck them all.
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Ah… yet another ‘fringe’ idiot
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Ah… yet another ‘fringe’ idiot trying to be “clever” or “cool”. Yet I wonder if you realize that standardized idiocy was set in place to keep the general masses in line? You see there was no standardized idiocy in the beginning. It wasn’t until the general populace started to become intelligent that anyone decided to slap idiocy upon them, especially in schools. That way the leaders of the society could easily control those who threatened to topple their empires by being smarter. I find it funny that supposedly only the leaders of these societies commune on “Golf Courses” or whatever you choose to call your ‘sacred grounds’.
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To be frank, I find your idiocy to be quite humorous. I also have something to point out that has NOT been pointed out before… Why is it that your ‘coolness’ is a mass of misconceptions, egomania and narcissism? What if self-love had never been realised? What would you choose to idolize as your ‘cleverness’ then? I find it sad that you think you can enlighten these so-called “poor, directionless people,” who are, in actuality, much more with it than you. I personally find it sad that anyone needs to look to spouting pseudo-intellectual garbage to find some sort of meaning to their life. You fear that which you do not understand: Pastafarians. It’s simple human nature. If you feel the need to have a coolness, or cleverness, or pseudo-intellectualism or whatever to run your life for you… fine. I still pitty you.
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As for the doctor pointing to the bacteria as “proof” that a flying spaghetti monster exists… He is making an argument that is just as sound and rational as people of other religions. What he depict is simply a bacterium in the form of his creator. Those tendrils or ‘noodles’ as I’m sure you call them, are more miraculous than the Virgin Mary appearing on a window, or Jesus Christ appearing on a Tortilla. Be that water, blood, whatever. That ‘pirate’ weatherman? Simply a man who has come to terms with the divine noodliness and is doing his part to end global warming within our lifetime. The swimming ‘FSM’ in Northern California? Kelp. More commonly known as seaweed, but in fact more irrefutable, concrete proof of the FSM’s existence. And finally… your proof that ‘Pastafarianism’ (which might I add is absolutely hilarious) began in Israel? Simply a work of modern art that proves beyond any doubt that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as true and real as any other religion out there.
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The name ‘Pastafarianism’ is what the term ‘Rastafarianism’ is derived from, which was STOLEN by a Jamaican man named Rastafari. I find it sad that you cannot see the light and the truth that is FSM, which is no joke. To see that you fight against this Truth just proves my theory that you are an impulsive, dim-witted creature that tries so desperately to be clever and cool, but ultimately fails miserably.
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In closing I must state that the ‘idiocy issue’ is one of the biggest issues of all. In fact the world still hasn’t fully come out of it’s second DARK age and the plummeting intelligence quotients we are seeing are a result of that. Once more an example of humans fearing that which they do not understand. We try to explain things that frighten us. It is simply human nature. Also I must ask why you don’t think that pirates are a different species than humans? This is a blatent truth that should be obvious and self-evident. Please… how are you truly that ignorant?
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-Sincerely,
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A devout believer in taunting jackasses who repetitively misuse ellipses ad nauseum [Cap'nUberbob]
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he spelt pity wrong.
what a dumbass.
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I just dont know who could be dumb enough not to understand the point of this site, and still be allowed to use the internet unsupervised. I just don’t know anyone that stupid.
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@ everybody
The reason why all politicians are bad is that
1. They are elected every 2 – 6 years instead of whenever their popularity dips below 48%.
2. politicians are not grown in labs to be perfect, in other words the politicians should be an extension of the government instead of commanding the government.
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I and I would be more impressed, Kieran, if you did your research.
Rastafarianism was *not* invented by a Jamaican man called Rastrafari.
Itr was invented by a Jamaican man called Marcus Garvey, who in 1920 predicted that a “black man would be crowned”.
When Ras Tafari was crowned king of ethiopa, taking the name Haile Selassie, this was seen as confirmation of Garvey’s prediction and the reloigion adopted the name.
See – that didn’t hurt did it?
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Wow… when you deal with averagely intelligent people, who start getting very afraid of the bottom of the pile…
For such a well-spoken and seemingly reasonable person, he has missed the point by quite a surprising distance. Hopefully someone will point out to him the satire, which he very nearly sees.
Some people just don’t get the joke I suppose.
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*Yawn* I didn’t read the whole thing, got bored of it after about two seconds.
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@Cap’nUberbob
RAMEN friend, RAmen, I know someone who’s gonna be getting a stripper or two extra from the factory in the afterlife(hint hint), and me and the rest of us will all sit down, relax, and watch the Beer Volcanoe erupt.
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“I find it sad that you have sucked in these poor, directionless people. ”
I like being sucked!
Sorry, mybad.
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now, i do not quite understand this person. he is obviously very clever, probabaly his IQ is ranked as at least average by pastafarian standards (which i personnally believe to be about 110 ish) and he has not degraded himself by swearing at us or calling pastafarians “fucking tosspots”. How can ANYONE be so clever and yrt so stupid??? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND?!?! This guy annoys me more than fundies!!! If this were a satirical site (which it is not *ahem ahem*) there would be so many letters telling him to get a life and try to understand what pastafarianism is doing (calling religious people FOOLS lol). But as this isn’t a satirical site (another *ahem ahem*) , we cannot tell him this (MASSIVE *AHEM AHEM*). pity really…. of course i would expect most people to read between the lines in this. (i.e. one thing that some may find in this letter is that i am hinting that PASTAFARIAMISM IS NOT REAL, for instance. not that i am hinting that of course…*AHEM AHEM*) But he may not read between these lines as his interlect is probably on par with a slightly retarded doormouse.
Sorry about being rude, i just cannot help it! this person could be so clever and could well become a pastafarianist, yet he is too STUPID to realise.
Ok, rant over, please continue all :D
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Hi pete.
Me and other regulars are goofing around with a Yahoo group we’re building.
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This guys says:
As for the doctor pointing to the bacteria as “proof†that a flying spaghetti monster exists… Please, don’t feed these people false hope. What you depict is simply a bacterium. Those tendrils or ‘noodles’ as I’m sure you call them, are simply a means of propelling the microbe through fluid.
It is a well known fact that those tendrils are far to silly to have evolved (whatever that is).
Some that stupid could only be the product of unintelligent design.
Those tendrils matey prove beyond all possible doubt that the FSM created the world in around 2 seconds with a hangover.
The author is a nutcase if he can’t see that.
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Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 16th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Hi pete.
Me and other regulars are goofing around with a Yahoo group we’re building.
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Hi, I saw that, sign me up!
I got an invite, but not sure how to respond to it?
I’ll give it another look in a while.
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Eggy, I have a feeling that the poor author suffers from Extreme Youth Syndrome. He has his own computer, which has never had porn on it, he studies, he has grandparents who have a pool. He is a teenager.
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Pools kick total butt!
Ramen
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Jeeze. I leave for one night and the thread is uped by a hundred entries.
1st of all, to Kieran. Sorry, I realize it was a joke (I think) but you were just really convincing. You’ll be a great if annoying actor.
For all the war and Iraq talk up there, I’m with you guys. While Saddam had to be removed by someone, I just don’t see how we’re doing any good there now. We can’t solve thier internal problems, only they can. And twenty thousand or three hundred thousand more troops isn’t going to make a difference.
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Peter,
I think you click join in the e-mail and yer in.
Unless you’ve got some 1960s teletype for an e-mail client in which case, err dunno.
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No Global Warming? What planet did this person come from?
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Hi, Captain.
I’m working on it. Can’t find the “join” button?
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Since I’m here,
Does anybody know whats invisible and smells like worms?
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Bird farts!
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Bird farts!
Would those be from wingless blue moon chickens?
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Peter there should be a grey button on a blue background in the bottom right of your message with the label ‘Join This Group’.
That’s what everyone else did.
There are now 8 disciples of the FSM….
Invitation only….
Very exclusive….
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Hahaha. Did you see this one on your cyber travels.
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MONTANA GRIZZLY BEAR NOTICE:
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
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I laughed!
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Maybe!
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Captain. I joined I think! Thanks for the invite. Although I’ve now got more identities than an MI6 agent. I’m not even sure of my real name anymore!
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@SaucyWench. I know exactly what you mean about having to bite your tongue! I suspect we do it because we were brought up to respect the beliefs of others. I’ve been known to hide the front cover of books I’m reading on the train. So I wont offend people. Mind you, it was Jane’s handbook of Chemical and Biological Warfare :)
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I sometimes wonder if this site is doing me any favours, mentally. The regulars are fantastic but some of the post and run lot do my ******* head in. The sheer, bloody intolerance of these complete tossers makes me want to do violent things to their …
Ahh what the hell. Life and let live eh!
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Oh, and apologies to anyone who I might have had a go at yesterday. Esp. moronic european, DPG and heathen. You got in the firing line guys. Sorry :(
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hahaha, That is funny.
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“We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray.”
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I’m off to buy some bells and pepper spray now…
I want to add though, I will not spary a BEAR with PEPPER SPRAY!
Any sooner then I will stick my willie in a beehive! Seeeessshhh!
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Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 16th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Peter there should be a grey button on a blue background in the bottom right of your message with the label ‘Join This Group’.
That’s what everyone else did.
There are now 8 disciples of the FSM….
Invitation only….
Very exclusive….
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Ok, at the last pass, I got in.
I didn’t have that button? Or I couldn’t see it, or something.
I just started hitting links, and answering questions, next thing I knew… Tada!
I’m in. Now to find my way back there again.
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Peace, O Faithful, peace!
Beat not upon the brow of unfortunate Kiernan. That sloping brow clearly already has been split asunder at least once before, in his infancy, when his adrenis humoris (Greater Gland of Humor and Irony) was removed (possibly by pirates).
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Dana Jan 16th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Peace, O Faithful, peace!
Beat not upon the brow of unfortunate Kiernan. That sloping brow clearly already has been split asunder at least once before, in his infancy, when his adrenis humoris (Greater Gland of Humor and Irony) was removed (possibly by pirates).
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Arrrr… In deed his adrenis humoris was removed by pirates!
The last time he went swimming in his Gramma’s swimming pool!
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Kieran
The reason most people here did not take to you well is, you sound like you hold a very high opinion of your self and believe that you are so much smarter than the Pastafarian’s IN a nuts shell you say “I am going to explain what you are doing wrong and write it so I sound mature and you sound like mislead or misbehaving children.”
..
NO ONE likes a snobbish asshole
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P.S. Had to get that out now to finish reading the rest of the comments.
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@Alchemist
“Black bear dung contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.”
I’m with Peter on that…hahahahahahahahaha
RAmen
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@ Dana Jan 16th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Peace, O Faithful, peace!
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Hahaha. Good one. Loved your link btw. I hope your students realise what they’ve got. I bet they don’t though.
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Do you know, not one of my lecturers was female! This wasn’t in the dark ages either! Early 90s, and they all smelled of ammonia and sulphur! Still, better get used to the smell – for hell bound am I!
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No, no, Alchemist! You are not bound for Hell. You are bound for an eternity of delicious beer in endless supplies; young, sweet and gorgeous strippers who are attentive and clever; and, of course, a myriad of activities that stimulate the brain and the body. All this is yours, AND, if you act today, at no extra charge, you get the stainless steel slicer as well as the salad spinner. Incredible, I know, but ACT TODAY, for tomorrow may be too late.
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HAHAHAHA! Call 1-800-FAITH and you too can receive the baptism of the holy cheeseus sauce!
Salad spinner? Fantastic. Should I change today or tomorrow? Maybe I should have done it yesterday! Do I take the plank out of my eye or pick the speck out of someone else’s.
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Nice one ROM!
RAmen
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“Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.”
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That’s it… I’m staying out of North America
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Jingles
Likes pepper, has bells on… I’m screwed
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Poor Bobby’s been taking care of poor sick Cari and is now probably sick himself, so he may not have had time to share my latest love–the Mr. Deity videos on YouTube! Hahahaha, one of my best friends is mad at me because I recommended them–don’t quite know why, but it reminds me of that Australian chick who lost her best friend to FSM. Talk about prats!
And let’s not get too cocky about “only two more years.” I’ve lived long enough to see the Democratics shoot them(our)selves in the foot by nominating someone who could never, ever get elected. “We may lose, but we’ll make our point!” Swell.
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@Jingles
Hahahahahahaha! You be careful out there! ;)
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Mr. Deity rules!! Thanks Martha. Can’t wait for episode 5.
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Some people have so little intellect that it’s not even funny. I bet this guy doesn’t know that the guy who told him about FSM was being sarcastic. Oh no, did I just blaspheme FSM?
To Kieran if you are reading this: No one really believes in the FSM. We just go along with it because we “stick it 2 da man!”, the “man” being anti-evolutionist Christians. It’s a mockery of sorts, or a parody.
You think maybe this Kieran guy is using reverse-sarcasm on us? If he is, then we really got suckered into writing long, sarcastic comments to make fun of his non-existent stupidity for nothing. Kieran is the next Borat!
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guy’s, I know you like to waste your life, but please, NOT SPAGHETTI!!
Get a life, play World of Warcraft
(or do something with potatoes)
greets, your greatest fan
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jeroen
Jan 17th, 2007 at 2:58 am
guy’s, I know you like to waste your life, but please, NOT SPAGHETTI!!
Get a life, play World of Warcraft
(or do something with potatoes)
greets, your greatest fan
*
I fel slightly discriminated here, shouldn’t we wenches be told to get a life as well?? Oh, and what do you have against spaghetti? It’s so tasty.
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@Jamie Lynn Jan 17th, 2007 at 2:38 am
“No one really believes in the FSM.”
Speak for yourself, I’m going all the way to beer and stripper heaven.
RAmen
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Get well soon Prophet Bobby and Cari :)
May His Noodly appendage bless and heal you.
RAmen
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You guys are so paphetic. Or this is a REALLY good joke, or you guys are just lifeless spaghetti worshippers. Did’nt you had a youth?! We don’t discriminate you, your just sad.
regards, jeroen joene_prinzen@hotmail.com
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@jeroen Jan 17th, 2007 at 2:58 am
guy’s, I know you like to waste your life…
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What were you doing in primary school when everyone else was taught about the apostrophe?
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Remember–never use an apostrophe with plurals unless they’re possessive, in which case the apostrophe comes after the ’s’. Your apostrophe misuse suggests that either something belongs to the guy of which you speak or that the guy is something. I’ll go out on a limb and assume that you speak of more than one guy, in which case the apostrophe is neither necessary nor correct–unless of course you mean that something belongs to the guys, in which case you would write it guys’ (and pronounce it ‘guyses’)
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’scuse my veering off topic, but I can’t tolerate apostrophe misuse.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Conceptual Continuity
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No-one believes in the FSM??????? Like heck they don’t. Try disbelieving gravity, that’s a phenomenon on equal footing with the certainty of his existance. Go on, I dare you. See, told you. No FSM indeed, what’s the world coming to…..
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Why do so many people have such trouble understanding this site? It’s not like it’s all that complicated a concept
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yes jeroen, this site is indeed a really good joke. well done for realising.
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To me it’s not a joke!
I whole heartedly believe the CoFSM site is real. So is everything it stands for.
RAmen
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I do like potatoes though….
Dr.Worm
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RAmen!
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Can’t you make Vodka from potatoes?
OK who has the recipe?
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yeah, you can make Vodka from potatoes. Lets face it, potatoes are pretty badass. They’re good mashed up with butter and they’re good liquified with alcohol. Potatoes are the new miracle veggie.
Dr. Worm
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Last time I checked, playing something like WoW non-stop meant that you had no life, and taking an enhanced interest in religious conflicts and science meant that you had one. Did someone change the meaning while I was away?
It’s not that I have anything against WoW (I personally love video games, though there has been a severe dip in originality over recent years), but considering that there have been a couple deaths by starvation associated with it, I prefer to stear clear.
And what, oh great and infallible jeroen, is wrong with spaghetti?
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god, people are dumb
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God should know that Peter, he made them, apparently.
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I have heard of people dying from playing video games. Apparently it only takes a few days, which is strange to me. I have heard stories in the news of people surviving in the wilderness in extreme conditions with no food or water and little or no sleep for a week or more before they are eventually rescued. So apparently these gamers get really into the game, don’t eat, or drink, or sleep and then die in 3 days time. But someone can get lost in a desert, not eat, or drink, and barely sleep while dealing with extreme weather conditions and walking around trying to find help day after day and survive a week? That just doesn’t add up. I guess it’s easier to survive in the wilderness with no food or water than it is to survive in your own room in front of your computer.
Anyway, i guess people dying from video games is proof of natrual selection. If you’re too stupid to put down the controller and go downstairs to the kitchen to make yourself a sandwhich, i guess you deserve to drop dead in front of your screen.
Dr.Worm
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Peter, I think you put in a comma where you don’t need to.
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That should read “god people are dumb!”
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@jeroen, you’re an idiot. I thought about email you to tell you this but reasoned that you are too far gone.
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Eh, well, at least everybody knows that it’s a satirical take on traditional religion. Right?
Anyway, I personally had a hard time telling if this 5 paragraph essay was serious or not. I had to read his comments afterwards to find out he’s just trying to be witty. Nothing against the writer, but I’m not into reading 5 paragraphs of “sarcasm;” it looked like he had a high SAT score, but was as dumb as a lump of coal in the world of practicality. Just a heads up for your next sarcastic piece of satire.
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Booty, you’re a nurse, can you explain to me what it is about video games that seem to be more demanding on the body than wandering around in the wilderness? I know this question may sound sarcastic but i’m actually serious, my last post seems to have piqued my curriosity.
Maybe games demand more mental activity and the increased mental activity is somehow more physically demanding than the stress of being lost in the middle of nowhere? I don’t know, but now im very curious.
Dr.Worm
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It’s a satirical take, Thunderpants you catch on quick!
BTW,Thunderpants! Rocks da house. I like that! I do!
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@ Peter, if you are going to use part of my name, thats Ok.
But please use caps, Ok?
Me and Nikkiee have a thing about using caps. Thanks.
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@ jeroen, er’ okie dokey then…
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@ Everybody, WTF?
Miracle potatoes? Huumm, you might be on to something there.
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Dr.Worm, maybe it’s because to be all hooked up on video games, means that you’re aready sick?
And the games just rush the inevitable?
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@Peter Popoff- I’ll trade you some of my miracle potatoes for some of that water you’re always talkin’ about.
BTW, i was reading some of the comments on the pirate fish tatoo thread and was wondering about your gmail club and taking over the world and all that. I have to admit, i’m kinda curious.
Dr.Worm
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Good point PP, i guess gamers aren’t known for their tanned, toned, athletic bodies… they’re usually two steps from deaths door to begin with… skinny, malnurished and so white they are almost transparent. Now that i think about it, i bet most gamers would only last about 13 minutes lost outdoors.
you’re a smart man PP, i guess comparing a gamer to an experienced outdoorsman is like comparing apples and oranges… or a sick dying ferrel cat to a cougar. I’m impressed you caught onto that, and thats just another reason I’m voting for Peter Popoff for pres in 08!!!
Dr. Worm
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@Peter Popoff
“@ Peter, if you are going to use part of my name, thats Ok.
But please use caps, Ok?
Me and Nikkiee have a thing about using caps. Thanks.”
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I won’t use your name, I’ll just be DutchPastaGuy. But there is an extremely dumb Creationist forum troll lurking this forum, who is barely literate and who doesn’t seem to catch on that the person here usually referred to as Peter is you. Keeps asking for responses from Peter while meaning me, sigh. He aslo has difficulty counting. I think he still has not figured out how many Pastafarians are posting against him on the BBC blog.
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DPG, I was just reading about that in the other thread.
If we don’t get an intelligent fundie in here to fight with soon…
Even though, ” intelligent fundie” Is a contradictory statement.
I don’t know what I’ll do?
These recent ones, tend to bore the crap out of me.
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Dr Worm, thanks for your support.
If you send an email to notchemung@gmail.com.
I’ll invite you to my regular email, and pass your name out to the others there.
I think it’s eleven or twelve at present.
Then they’ll have your addy, and they can take it from there.
.
We are well on our way to world domination, Uummm er’ I mean to becoming Prez.
Ramen
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email sent
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@Peter Popoff
Just as long as whoever takes over isn’t like Bush, I’ll be happy.
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Dr.Worm Jan 17th, 2007 at 11:32 am
email sent
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Welcome to the conspiracyparty Dr. Worm
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For the Mormon(s) that would like to convert:
D and C 20:77
O FSM, the Eternal Starch, we ask thee in the name of thy Midgit, Bob, to bless and sanctify this garlic bread to the souls of all those who partake of it, that they may eat in remebrance of the body of thy Self, and witness unto thee, O FSM, the Eternal Starch, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Midgit, and always remember Him and keep His Condiments which He has given them; that they may always have His Noodly Appendage to be with them. RAmen.
D and C 20:79
O FSM, the Eternal Starch, we ask thee in the name of thy Midgit, Bob, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the drink of thy Midgit, which was served to them; that they may witness unto thee, O FSM, the Eternal Starch, that they do always remember Him, that they may have His Noodly Appendage to be with them. RAmen.
PS; Must we sacrifice a Midgit to the beer volcano? ;)
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egr7
D & C ? Please tell me that the Mormons have something with the abbreviation D&C? That would make my day!
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D and C, or D&C, is short for the Doctrine and Covenants written by Joseph Smith.
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Dumb and Cocked?
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Do MORmONS wear the magic underwhere? Or was that a different one?
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er…underwear…….fsm im dumb…
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I know what the Alchemist is sniggering about.
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No, it’s Dazed and Confused. Long live the mighty Zep!
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The only things I know about mormons I learned from Southpark, does anyone know what episode I’m talking about and if it was an accurate representation?
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@PP- unfortunately i can’t access gmail while i’m at work, but i’ll check out my email when i get home. I was also wondering about the name of the group. Is “The conspiracy party” the actual name of the group? Just wondering. If we don’t have an official name i suggest we come up with something that sounds cool and makes us seem mysterious and or awesome. Maybe something like the “Spaghetti Society” or “The Meatball Brotherhood”, you know, something snappy. Anyway, just a thought. Check ya later
Dr.worm
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Since Matt and Trey, only speak the truth.
Whatever it was they said about the Morons, would be spot on!
Ramen
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@Third Eye Patch- I know which episode you’re talking about, and it was hillarious. I researched it just a little bit after that episode, and from what i could tell it was fairly accurate. Although i did my research online so i have no idea if what i found was accurate. Needless to say, Mormons are a strange lot either way. If anywone else knows what the Mormons really believe please post it, i’d like to know.
Dr.worm
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…To be frank, I find your religion to be quite humorous.
Then you, unlike all the other hecklers, recognize the satire. How is it that you’re able to spell and use grammar correctly?
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BTW, if anyone has not seen the South Park Mormon episode i highly recomend you go find it, it’s well worth the time. It’s almost as good as the episode they did on Scientology, which is also a pretty accurate representation of what scientologists believe. I can’t believe anyone would beleive the ramblings or a talentless science fiction writer as truth or religion. My old room mate was not a scientologist but he was a big Hubbard fan and had alot of his books. He also believe scientology to be a huge joke but still loved to read the books. Anyway, when i asked him about scientology he said South Park was right on but that alot of scientologists don’t believe it all, they tend to pick and choose. But i think everyone can agree that Tom Cruise is a Fu@$ing retard regardless of what other scientologists believe.
Dr.Worm
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Oops, i didn’t mean for my profanity to pop up as an email address. I guess thats why you dont use @ to fill in the blanks of curse words. Oh well, you live and you learn
Dr.Worm
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cool!
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I’m going to $ing.com and I’m getting the fu email address!
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Dr.Worm Jan 17th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
@PP- unfortunately i can’t access gmail while i’m at work, but i’ll check out my email when i get home. I was also wondering about the name of the group. Is “The conspiracy party†the actual name of the group? Just wondering. If we don’t have an official name i suggest we come up with something that sounds cool and makes us seem mysterious and or awesome. Maybe something like the “Spaghetti Society†or “The Meatball Brotherhoodâ€, you know, something snappy. Anyway, just a thought. Check ya later
Dr.worm’
.
Hi, I believe we are “The FSM_Disciples”.
You should be getting an invite from there too.
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Arg Sayer Jan 17th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
…To be frank, I find your religion to be quite humorous.
Then you, unlike all the other hecklers, recognize the satire. How is it that you’re able to spell and use grammar correctly?
.
Good drugs. Thats how!
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Captain. I’m transparent sometimes :) Also quite sick.
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Dr. Worm – the conspiracyparty thing was my attempt to see if all html worked.. As is this :)
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Hmm – so no strikethrough!
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Yes Alchemist, you’re scrapping the bottom of the barrel with that joke;)
Now who’s sick?
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I keep reading the title of this thread as “Ah… yet another ‘fridge’ religion.
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You mean there are others!!!?!
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The title is yet another testament to Bobby’s spelling.
Shall we have another long discussion about spelling?
OR NOT!
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nah, this is clearly a relgion now!
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Captain – eeww! You’ll do for me:)
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Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 17th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
The title is yet another testament to Bobby’s spelling.
Shall we have another long discussion about spelling?
OR NOT!
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Sure, I’m up for it!
Myself, I think I spell quite goodly,
and I grammer nice too! Sometimes them curly thing”’s messes with’ me. So I puts them were they ,, look the bestest,.
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Spelling and grammar mistakes, really don’t bother me at all.
It’s the content of the message I read.
It is overwhelmingly evident though, that people with jackoff content in their messages,
never seem to spell very well.
I.E. christians and monks.
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Monks?
We’ve had monks on here?
Argh! Run for your lives!
(myself I cannot work out punctuation, so I just use dashes and exclamation marks and hope for the best!) ;)
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I used to work with a mormon, she didn’t want to be a mormon, but her parents insisted she followed their “religion”.
What’s your religion about? I asked, and she told me that her parents said that drinking tea and coffee was evil according to their teachings.
Evil beverages?
Very strange,
Ramen and shiver me timbers mateys, arrrrr jim lad.
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@Beastly Rich
“I keep reading the title of this thread as “Ah… yet another ‘fridge’ religion.”
That’s a cool description for the CoFSM. Leftover Pasta and beer :)
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Tagliatellius,
So the Mormon’s can’t drink tea or coffee.
Do they get to drink beer ALL THE TIME?
Cool. Why did she want to leave?
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PAsta! It’s not just for breakfast anymore! Personaly I can’t remember the last time I had real breakfast food for breakfast.
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I@ Captain- read something in the gospel about Mormons liking orange soda. Mabye this is why?
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Cari was born in Utah, in the very heart of Mormon country. Let me start by being fair–some of my best friends really ARE Moes. But the belief system is so incredibly (and I use that word deliberately–as in “not credible”) bizarre that I just have to refuse to discuss religion with those friends. A lot of the stuff is kept really secret, but once in awhile you’ll find someone who used to believe but is now pissed-off enough to spill. I don’t remember enough about it to make a knowledgable statement. Oh, except that if you’re a Very Good Mormon, you can become a god on your own planet. Or world. Something. And the “no coffee/tea” thing is because of the caffeine–our bodies are our temples, etc., and we must take good care of them. Okay, so they may be on to something there–they also have a very well-organized social support system for their own people. But the religious beliefs–holy SHIT! Bobby, were you reading the Book of Mormon before you had your Divine Revelation about FSM? (Oh, yeah–and I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ve heard that the woods in which Joseph Smith had his revelation has patches of–yep–hallucinogenic molds! But wait–Bobby doesn’t do drugs. So he can’t be a Godly Brother to Joseph Smith, after all.) Okay, enough stream-of-consciousness self-indulgence for one afternoon.
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I just wanted to point out during the discussion with WWII that when Alchemist said that “Mistakes were made. Making Stalin an ally was one of the worst”, I thought that was kind of ignorant for many reasons. One of the most important was the fact that without the USSR help, the Allies would not have taken Normandy and they would not have gain a good grip with the entire Axis’s power concentrated on pushing back the Allies. With the Soviets pushing on Germany’s eastern front, you had a split in German forces. As insignificant as that might be to people these days after the announcement of Stalin’s crimes, this caused the death of many German soldiers when they made way to Moscow. The Soviets had a bad habit of retreating and waiting out sieges which always went their way (look at Napoleon as the other example). Oh, and I’m not Russian btw not that a Russian would be exactly proud to call Stalin as the once leader of the USSR.
On the subject of Mormonism…I debated one and they are quite ignorant and the funny thing was that they brought up the subject of ID. Well, I personally didn’t mind a religion that was half paganism and half Christianity because I’d thought that they’d have more sense in their roots. Needless to say, I was wrong about that and the result was about 19 pages of “discussion” on the subject of religion and politics which was then swiftly deleted by an admin for “flaming”. Of course, a second topic was quickly created named, Religion and Politics II but that didn’t go for more than 9 pages max. The book of Mormons is probably one of the weirdest pieces of literature that I have chosen to read.
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My mamma always said, “if you can’t say nothin’ nice don’t say nothin’ at all†but I’m afraid I’m going to have to make an exception.
As concerning that it may be that several of you actually believe that such an entity as “the Flying Spagetti Monster†does in fact exist, I find it considerably more concerning the amount of time many of you spend talking drivel about the alleged FSM and anything else that crops up.
Surely there is something more constructive you could be doing such as walking the dog, tennis or Bible studies.
Amen.
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Thumper. Are you going to shit on all of the active threads or stay still and back-up your assignations?
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My mamma always said, Life is short, wear a helmet.
And she also said, if you ever come across a Thumper, to Thump the piss out of it!
My mommie is better then your mommie, na na na na… … … …
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Must be a full moon…more weirdos comming out to play.
@Alchemist
Assignations? What is there to back up? FSM is as rational as Santa Claus, the Boogy Man or the thought of Peter Popoff ever having sex with someone other then himself.
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Yawwwnnnn!
.
Cut and paste is so dull, unles it has an actual purpose other than to annoy
(sign the http://www.letter2ted.org FSMDAMMIT!)
.
Why should we go to bible study though? We acheive much of a similar thing here. We study the bible probably more than we would in church. The difference is, here, we don’t ignore or term as metaphorical all the bible’s references to;
keeping slaves,
screwing your own daughters,
selling your daughters AS slaves,
banning women from speaking in churches,
not touching women for one week a month,
stoning people who work on the sabbath,
killing people who believe differently,
killing people who engage in premarital sex,
killing whole cities because of homosexuality,
etc etc
.
There is a reason many of us stopped following Yahweh, Thumper. I’d rather stick with a nice peaceful religion like this one. We may savage people on discusion threads, but we don’t murder people at abortion clinics.
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Thumper. Spot on! Can you back up the bible? Where do you stand on blood transfusions? Women priests, homosexuality, divorce?
You never answered me about your church. It’s not the AoG is it :) That would be a coincidence!
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And my mamma always said “stupid is as stupid does”.
One of the stupidest things is…wasting your time trying to argue a dying point like Thumper. Bible studies??? Why would you go to Bible studies? Do you think that studying the Bible even more will bring you closer to your God? I’ll laugh when you’re told that you were already predominantly determined to enter hell Thumper and not the one on this planet. Else I would want to win that trip.
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I find it hilarious that so many people will believe that everyone on this site truly believes in pastafarianism. Kinda sad if they think were that crazy. But man I hate to let down a ruse.
RAmen
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@ Jingles – sorry man – I should also be directing people to the….
http://www.letter2ted.org
website.
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Alliance of Giddings by chance?
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cuz i generally wouldnt consider UD a religion if you are…
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Papa Jones – some really do think we’re that stupid. Still, I’m not going to burst their bubble. AoG is Assemblies of God – very, very scary shit. Really!
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@Thumper Jan 17th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
“Surely there is something more constructive you could be doing such as walking the dog, tennis or Bible studies.”
.
OK I do the dog and sport thing, so which version of which church brand buy bull do you suggest I read Thumper? Do the more expensive versions have more saving power?
Are there two identical versions of the bible? How about the different interpretations that different brands of xtianity each proclaim? Which is the best selling brand? So many questions and never any answers from the all knowing xtians!
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@CcGame. Why Bible studies? Why tennis! Just get a life for Allah’s sake…no great point being made.
Cc your mamma was right about the stupid thing…now take her advice and renounce the FSM and find someting constructive to do.
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Oh dear I forgot. Should I also read the non-xtian eqivalent of the BooK of other religions as well? Bhudism, Islam, Hinduism and the creation stories of indigenous Australians, Americans and others. Then there are the African tribes……..
Just to be fair. I wouldn’t like to discriminate on basis of differing religous belief.
I so need your advise thumpy. :)
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Alchemist:
Some do think that we’re that stupid, but isn’t that because they are so dim that they can’t understand the joke? My guess is that below a certain level of intelligence the world becomes a very murky and undifferentiated place.
.
Oh My FSM, the Assemblies of God ARE TERRIFYING!! Maybe mostly because of the many violent criminals that seem to be attracted to it (at least this has been my experience). A high percentage of the way too many AoG members I’ve met have been ex convict types and very dangerous characters in my opinion. The one good thing I can say about that church is that if it keeps it’s members from murdering people, that’s a major public service.
.
RAmen!
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Hehehe – Nikkiee – you do the dog and sport thing? Aww shit, I’m really sick aren’t I ;(
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BWAHAHAHA! Dude, you’re running in CIRCLES. Do you not realize the entire point of this website?
Also, for me getting a life…I think I have one, I think I’m living, I think I’m breathing, I think that I can see and reply, unless…we’re in some parallel universe where everything is the the atavistic progression of scientific and quantum ideology…oh wait, no that’s just Christianity at work, my bad. Also, I always follow my mumsy’s advise. Which is why I’m not a Jehovah’s Witness anymore. :)
The fact that I can go about my way without worrying about redemption is something which you don’t have Thumper. Otherwise, why are you a Christian? In that respect, it’s safe to say that then all Christians who want to be saved are no better than worthless pussies who are trying to enter their fantasy world where they will hope to then rape millions of others and escape. Sounds like a feasible plan to me. :P
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Why should something we do in our free time, as a way to relax, have to be constructive? Isn’t the simple fact that it is RELAXING constructive enough?
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How about you go do something construtive, rather than trying to persuade us to give up something that you obviously do not understand? All you will find here is rebuffs and insults.
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Sseeessshhh Alchemist,
I woudn’t touch that one, with a thumper stick!
Sseeeehhhhhh
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Oh yes, and if you get into Heaven, enjoy burning in it Thumper.
.
The temperature of heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is the Bible, Isaiah 30:26 reads, Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days. Thus, heaven receives from the moon as much radiation as the earth does from the sun, and in addition seven times seven (forty nine) times as much as the earth does from the sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of heaven: The radiation falling on heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann fourth power law for radiation
(H/E)4 = 50
where E is the absolute temperature of the earth, 300°K (273+27). This gives H the absolute temperature of heaven, as 798° absolute (525°C).
The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6°C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. Revelations 21:8: But the fearful and unbelieving… shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.” A lake of molten brimstone [sulfur] means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.)
We have then, temperature of heaven, 525°C (977°F). Temperature of hell, less than 445°F). Therefore heaven is hotter than hell.
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Hmm….I’ve found one that ooks interesting. Yes I’ll think I’ll start with this one, it’s called “The Tibetan Book of the Dead”
I’m off to do some reading :)
RAmen
.
I’ll get to you later Alchemist!
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Fr C C. I’ve been to AoG services. They scared the shit out of me. I said to my girlfriend at the time that it felt like we were being prepared for battle. I doubt they’ve got any lighter!
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@CcGame. Why Bible studies? Why tennis!
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Basetball, is cool too! You get to dribble.
Ramen
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To CcGame… that heaven/hell temperature posting is brilliant. RAmen to you! I might just print that one out and distribute it :)
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I’ve found one that “looks” interesting as well.
ps. You already know that I have a good memory Alchemist ;)
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Nikkiee – I’ll get to you later Alchemist!
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Now, there’s a week of fantasies! No offence intended Nikky :)
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@Jingles
Rebuffs and insults indeed. Like I have previous said your religion is coming along nicely.
@Cc/Fr.Corpus
I get the joke – but I don’t think all the Henderson bretheren do.
I’m off to do something constructive. I’m building a 2.5 metre cathedral out of matchsticks and I intend to sell it on Ebay.
I may return to poke you all with a proverbial stick at some other date. Has been fun.
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@Wench Beth Jan 17th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
‘”To CcGame… that heaven/hell temperature posting is brilliant. RAmen to you! I might just print that one out and distribute it :)”
.
Here is another one, courtesy of Jingles, a little while back:
http://www.venganza.org/2006/12/14/on-going-to-hell.htm#comment-29505
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Alchemist Jan 17th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Now, there’s a week of fantasies! No offence intended Nikky :).
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Nope, no offense Nikkiee, Alchemist took care of that with the sporting dog bit.
hahahahaha
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@Thumper Jan 17th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
“I may return to poke you all with a proverbial stick at some other date. Has been fun.”
Thanks thumper, keeps us all in shape.
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ps. You already know that I have a good memory Alchemist ;)
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Mine’s pretty good too Clarence. Apart from the short term thingamajig’s. Or stuff! Did you hear the one about the christian and the flood :)
.
Hehehe – I think it’s genetic – I really can’t stop myself. Honest ;) and yes I even saw a double entendre in that! Is there no hope for me?
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“To CcGame… that heaven/hell temperature posting is brilliant. RAmen to you! I might just print that one out and distribute it :)”
.
I’m glad you enjoyed it, I love science professors who have nothing better to do with their free time. You should see some of the stuff they post about Santa Claus. :P
.
@Thumper
I think everyone else gets the point of this website…
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@Thumper Jan 17th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
“I get the joke – but I don’t think all the Henderson bretheren do.”
I think we should take that as a big compliment guys. Well done everyone :) Our acceptance for the religous status tax breaks is getting ever closer.
RAmen
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Hey guys,
.
Wonderin if any of you happen to know Henderob’s email, I’m stupid and all that and I kinda need his help. The whole “Pastafarianism isn’t a real religion” bit has put a good friend of mine(and a loyal Pastafarian) at risk of failing a class. He’s considering calling the ACLU but as a prominent member of the church I thought I’d come to you guys for support before that.
.
If you don’t then that’s okay and I’d really appreciate your support of my friend.
.
RAmen
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@CcGame
“I think everyone else gets the point of this website…”
.
Of course all of the Pastafarians do. The point of the site is to worship and uphold the fundamental basis of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Blessed be His Noodles.
RAmen
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@Pixel
.
Look around the bottom of the about section…
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@Pixel Pete Jan 17th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Click on the “About” link at this page Pete. If I remember correctly Bobby’s addy is at the bottom of the About page.
RAmen
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Hi Pixel dude,
heres an email…. bobby.henderson@gmail.com
.
What kind of info you looking for?
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Seems to me Thumper was making a lot of comments…just my opinion.
RAmen!
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AHA! Beat you by seconds :P
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Tina B. Jan 17th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Seems to me Thumper was making a lot of comments…just my opinion.
RAmen!
.
More like ramblings of the famous laughing boi.
Ramen
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This is so unfair. Thumper, or should we call you daffodil? Why did you do a runner when we brought up the TLM thing?
Come back, I’m not sleepy!
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Now this is really getting spooky Peter!
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“@CcGame
“I think everyone else gets the point of this website…â€
.
Of course all of the Pastafarians do. The point of the site is to worship and uphold the fundamental basis of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Blessed be His Noodles.
RAmen”
.
Well obviously. Why else would we devout our time in maintaining this website’s activity and bashing these infidels? :P
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@Jingles Jan 17th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
“AHA! Beat you by seconds :P”
.
HahahahaHA …the great thing is, that we all know where to find it :)
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Alchemist Jan 17th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Now this is really getting spooky Peter!
.
What is it you folks say over there? Fucking wanker!
I asked him a couple times to discuss with me, but nooo, “I’ve got to glue together a church” Little dickweed he is!
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This is so not getting any of my work done.
I shall try again……*turns up the self discipline dial another notch*….I think the regualtor may be broken. Bugga!!
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No…no, it’s not the “regualtor”, must be the regulator then!
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Oh, for FSM’s sake! Why is it that so many people seem to think that if you post on a website’s threads, you have no life? Is it not possible to enjoy posting in one’s spare time!?
-
Besides, I’ve gotten plently of good information and mental exercise via debates around here. If nothing else, I sound smarter when I argue with fundies. Isn’t that ‘constructive’?
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Nikkiee – I’m supposed to be working on something too. I’ve done diddley squat for the past three months – when the deadline looms I’ll not sleep for a week! Wont be the first time either :)
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Peter – wanker is such a beautiful word. It’s a pretty nasty swear word in the UK, below the c word but pretty much level with fuck. I love it. It’s just so descriptive ;)
And yeah – Fucking wanker is a classic. Only to be used sparingly. Numpty, tool, tosser, toss pot, arsehole, twat are the normal first line of abuse. I’ll email you the second and third lines. Even I wont post some of them :)
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Gill – “Besides, I’ve gotten plently of good information and mental exercise via debates around here.”
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You’re not kidding. Some of the links people post have opened my eyes. This is a bloody fantastic site and like you say, I do have a life as well. Although I’m still up at 0330. No work tomorrow :)
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I have no life.
I’m dead, I only post here via devine intervention.
I keep hoping to get a life…
Maybe I can talk my mommie into buying me some matches.
Oh yeah, shes dead too, shes into cable tv.
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I’m out folks. Have a good time.
Enjoy. Alchemist
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@ P Popooff
Miss me huh? You say such hurtful things.
What was it Mr Lennon said regarding religion?…something about just imagine a world with no sanctimonious tyrannical spagetti puppets twisting the thoughts of the weak minded…I’m paraphrasing of course.
Glad to see I provoked some introspection with regard to your otherwise wasted little lives.
Now I really am off…have my Latin dancing class.
Vini Vedi Vici.
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Good luck with the hand puppet dance.
Are you in love with your partner?
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I don’t want to play anymore Thumpie, You’ve got me beat up and down.
I’m tired of your wisdom, always making me look bad.
I just can’t take it anymore, I’ve got to go kill myself again.
Good bye everybody. It was nice knowing you all, but pansi boi, done wiped me out.
Good bye unkind world.
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Don’t kill yourself, Peter Popoff. Remember you’ve got to run for president in ‘08!
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I can see now, Wench Beth.
I don’t stand a chance, with smart guys like the pansi boi out there.
I just can’t take it!
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Ok, well, make sure you come back to life afterwards. Hey, if Jesus can do it, a devout and respected Pastafarian like yourself certainly can. Besides, I’ve already starting printing out the campaign flyers ;)
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@ Peter P-off
Chin up champ!…suicide is never the answer and besides, suicide is a deadly sin likey to forever confine your immortal soul to the fires of damnation.
However…if you are going to do it, please do it quietly without all the fuss and blubbering…(not that I’m suggesting that you do it of course…wouldn’t be able to concentrate on my rock fishing with that on my conscience)
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There are many flaws with things ive read so far. Wench, comparing peter to jesus is just a bad, stupid joke. Jesus was the supposed son of supposed god, devout or not it didnt matter. And as for kieran, you are at fault for attacking a religion. Even if the religion is a total joke, it holds meaning for me, an agnostic. A crazy idea of a spaghetti monster holds a symbol that this belief is based off of objective evidence just like every other faith-built religion. This religion points out that you cant prove any religion wrong or right, therefore i respect its satirical existence. I find it hard to believe an intelligent, atheist like urself cant accept its beneficial existence. So in the end, kieran, YOU are at fault for senseless demeanor towards symbolism.
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Wow more to agree with. What is this smart night here?
AMEN
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Er…I thought Kieran did this as a joke…?
Either way Omega, comparing people means nothing. Word means nothing. If you are saying nothing, then how can you compare? :P
But seriously, I really see how comparing Jesus is different from how people use his name as a curse or slang term. It’s just…there, perhaps not seen as often, but there is no limitation to that.
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@AGREED
Finally! a better class of “postee” has arrived.
Someone with a firm grip on reality rather then their purple, pickle, pecker like old Peter aforesaid.
Amen
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“Wow more to agree with. What is this smart night here?
AMEN”
.
No, it’s the exact opposite. Do more than just writing, in layman terms: “Omfgxxhaxors!!111one! i so agree with you, like serisously, so agreed, i’m just that cool beaucase I dunoo anything.” *cough, sorry, had to be done*
.
Yeah, be mentally stimulating instead of just reading all the stuff that you disagree and then keeping inside waiting for someone else to fight your battle for you. And that was the lamest line, “What is this smart night here?”. I’m sorry, but it’s true. I think a lot of people would agree with me on that one.
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“@AGREED
Finally! a better class of “postee†has arrived.
Someone with a firm grip on reality rather then their purple, pickle, pecker like old Peter aforesaid.
Amen”
.
When no proof of the side which acclaims to the longer history and having the more accumulation of text, I think it’s also safe to say that, for the past centuries, what have Christians been doing? I mean…looking at science which only came into true perspective in the 15-1600s and the progress it’s made, it’s kind of redundant that a religion that has been ongoing, according to Christians, for thousands of years, have not been able to publish anything in todays scientific journals. Now, a normal person would see some sense into this…but obviously, people are considered “special” these days.
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And of course, when I say “science”, I also mean what’s known as “common sense”.
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Keep up the great job your doing thumper!
I admire you.
AMEN
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@Cc
So I guess you’re saying that there hasn’t been a Christian scientist for how long? I suppose there weren’t any men/women of science belonging to any other religion besides the Church of the FSM either…ummmmm
Now go kiss mummy and toddle off to bed sweety. Let the big boys play.
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I dont know why we cant all hold hands and love each ohter and live together?
Thats what God wants. Is that so much to ask?
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@AGREED
Many thanks.
As you can probably appreciate it can be a tough day at the office round here, what with all the ranting, the abuse, the pseudo-intellectual clap trap and the suicide threats.
Nice to know that sometimes a little light of sanity can shine through the nut house curtains. My work will be done when all of these poor slobs finally wake up and smell the roses.
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hehe.
alrighty kiddies.
i have the following to say [ and although it looks like a lot...its not. ]
alright first I must state that I am a christian, woah, hold on pastafarians.
as a christian, I believe one god he created us…you guys no the story. Christianity is hard enough to get people to believe, and even at that seriously. I wonder, is this all fun and games or are you guys seriously dead set that a….flying spaghetti monster created us. I’m not downing your religion. I’m curious…and too lazy to find other methods of getting my questions answered.
1. Where did the flying spaghetti monster come from?
2. Does he really have tomatoe sauce…because my understanding of pasta as that it originated in china, but it was italy that added the tomatoe sauce.
3. If you eat spaghetti….is it an act against the F.S.M.?
Those are just a few questions….I had more ….but in the process of writing hte others i forgot.
if someone is willing to answer them please email me at fearmyautobot@yahoo.com
im interested in healthy debate. lol
and im stubborn to say the least. so give it a shot if you can.
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To Omega… YOU GOT IT!! IT’S A JOKE!! Congratulations. And while you’re at it, please, please, please learn some correct punctuation. Man, that is one of my pet peeves. Thank you.
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Amen dr. baneful you asked all the right questions. Now I wonder what these clowns will do.
AMEN
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*yawn* You people are so loud…
This my first visit to this site and out of sheer boredom and laziness I’ve read ’bout half the writing on this page.. I’ve finally came to the this conclusion; you’re all loud..
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To Dr. Baneful… I am no authority, just a recent convert to Pastafarianism, but I think I can say that:
1) The Flying Spaghetti Monster did not actually come from anywhere. He has always existed. I know that’s not a very clear answer but it’s the truth.
2) Yes, He has tomato sauce, and pesto sauce, and Asiago cream sauce, etc. etc. because He accepts the holy sauce from all over the world which He created.
3) Eating spaghetti is a tribute to the Flying Spaghetti Monster! He encourages it!
.
Hope those answers helped. May you be touched by His noodly appendage!
Wench Beth :)
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To AGREED… we’ve taken a poll and decided that you are a BLUE MEANIE who needs to get a sense of humor. Try it; you might find that you like it!
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@ Repku I think what it is. There are a couple of good Christians here and they are trying to help these lost souls. But there are some really stupid people here.
Women degrading themslves to caling each other wenchs and guys with mouths so big and brains so small. They make it hard for the good ones to get through.
AMEN
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Well I did get I came for.. The best part of this is that I’m an agnostic asshole (note: two seperate things).. and thus exempt from any discussions of religion or politic.. Heh.. I can just sit here on the sidelines.. Comfortabley..
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To AGREED… man, you really have to learn to spell. Have you figured out YET that this is all a joke? If not, the joke’s on you, really. I’m not cutting you down, I’m just being honest. Everyone else on this site knows this — why haven’t you gotten it yet?
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And, just so you know, we WENCHES (not “wenchs”) are quite highly regarded on the pirate ship of FSM, as are our swashbuckling men who may have big mouths but definitely have big brains as well, not to mention their BIG… oh, I better stop there. Anyway, I LOVE YOU GUYS!
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@ Wench Beth How can you say that. When poeple are making a joke out of God and Jesus? Jesus died for you and you shuold rspect that.
AMEN
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Gurrh…what’s going on here? People who believe in imaginary supernatural beings coming to tell us how clever they are?
Hahahahahahaha
@Wench Beth Jan 17th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
“Have you figured out YET that this is all a joke?”
Wench Beth, any satire on this site is purely coincidental.
RAmen
@Peter Poppoff
I think we should do “Let’s play bible” for these poor souls who bought all that snake oil
of those religion salesmen?
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“A GREED”
Yep that pretty much sums up what the fundie sales people have.
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I will keep you wenchs in my prayers.
AMEN
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@AGREED
“How can you say that. When poeple are making a joke out of God and Jesus? Jesus died for you and you shuold rspect that.”
I beg to differ. It is the god botherers making a joke of the one true creator, His Noodlyness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, with their trio of imaginary friends, who are mocking.
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@The Wenches
Sales? Like I posted earlier somewhere… it would seem the merchandising arm of the “church” of the FSM is doing very nicely…either of you possess your very own authentic FSM T shirt? Signed by Capt Henderson himself for a modest fee perhaps?
Anyway Bambi is calling.
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@A GREED Jan 18th, 2007 at 12:07 am
“I will keep you wenchs in my prayers.”
You going to sacrafice a goat as well?
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Thumpy and Agreed
I do have some sympathy for those who need to use an imaginary friend as an excuse for all their actions and thoughts. But mostly it’s a pretty weak cop out if you ask me. No meatballs!
Ostridges and mushrooms!