Ah… yet another ‘fringe’ religion trying to go main stream. Yet I wonder if you realize that standardized religion was set in place to keep the general masses in line? You see there was no standardized religion in the beginning. It wasn’t until the general populace started to become unruly that anyone decided to slap religion upon them. That way the leaders of the church could easily control those who threatened to topple their empires by creating a set of rules. I find it funny that supposedly only the leaders of these churches commune with “God” or whatever you choose to call your ‘creator’.
To be frank, I find your religion to be quite humorous. I also have something to point out that has been pointed out before… Why is it that your ‘creator’ is a mass of wheat, meat and tomato sauce? What if spaghetti had never been invented? What would you choose to idolize as your ‘creator’ then? I find it sad that you have sucked in these poor, directionless people. I personally find it sad that anyone needs to look to religion to find some sort of meaning to their life. We fear that which we do not understand. It’s simple human nature. If you feel the need to have a god, or goddess, or flying spaghetti monster or whatever run your life for you… fine. I still pitty you.
As for the doctor pointing to the bacteria as “proof” that a flying spaghetti monster exists… Please, don’t feed these people false hope. What you depict is simply a bacterium. Those tendrils or ‘noodles’ as I’m sure you call them, are simply a means of propelling the microbe through fluid. Be that water, blood, whatever. Your ‘pirate’ weatherman? Simply a man who had eye surgery and must wear an eyepatch to protect it from becoming infected. Your swimming ‘FSM’ in Northern California? Kelp. More commonly known as seaweed, but in fact the two are different. And finally… your proof that ‘Pastafarianism’ (which might I add isn’t clever at all) began in Israel? Simply a work of modern art placed in an old temple.
The name ‘Pastafarianism’ is actually a clever play on ‘Rastafarianism’, which was started by a Jamaican man named Rastafari. I find it sad that so many people believe so devoutly in this well thought out and well played joke. To see that so many people fight for this just proves my theory that humans are impulsive, dim-witted creatures that try so desperately to explain that which they can find no plausible answer to by turning to religion.
In closing I must state that the ‘global warming issue’ isn’t an issue at all. In fact the world still hasn’t fully come out of it’s second ice age and the rising tempuratures we are seeing are a result of that. Once more an example of humans fearing that which they do not understand. We try to explain things that frighten us. It is simply human nature. Also I must ask why you think that pirates are a different species than humans? I believe you said something about humans sharing 95% of their DNA with primates (specifically chimps if I remember correctly) and over 99% with pirates. Please… how many of you are truly that ignorant?
-Sincerely,
A devout believer in letting things be [Kieran]
I can see now, Wench Beth.
I don’t stand a chance, with smart guys like the pansi boi out there.
I just can’t take it!
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Ok, well, make sure you come back to life afterwards. Hey, if Jesus can do it, a devout and respected Pastafarian like yourself certainly can. Besides, I’ve already starting printing out the campaign flyers ;)
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@ Peter P-off
Chin up champ!…suicide is never the answer and besides, suicide is a deadly sin likey to forever confine your immortal soul to the fires of damnation.
However…if you are going to do it, please do it quietly without all the fuss and blubbering…(not that I’m suggesting that you do it of course…wouldn’t be able to concentrate on my rock fishing with that on my conscience)
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There are many flaws with things ive read so far. Wench, comparing peter to jesus is just a bad, stupid joke. Jesus was the supposed son of supposed god, devout or not it didnt matter. And as for kieran, you are at fault for attacking a religion. Even if the religion is a total joke, it holds meaning for me, an agnostic. A crazy idea of a spaghetti monster holds a symbol that this belief is based off of objective evidence just like every other faith-built religion. This religion points out that you cant prove any religion wrong or right, therefore i respect its satirical existence. I find it hard to believe an intelligent, atheist like urself cant accept its beneficial existence. So in the end, kieran, YOU are at fault for senseless demeanor towards symbolism.
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Wow more to agree with. What is this smart night here?
AMEN
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Er…I thought Kieran did this as a joke…?
Either way Omega, comparing people means nothing. Word means nothing. If you are saying nothing, then how can you compare? :P
But seriously, I really see how comparing Jesus is different from how people use his name as a curse or slang term. It’s just…there, perhaps not seen as often, but there is no limitation to that.
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@AGREED
Finally! a better class of “postee” has arrived.
Someone with a firm grip on reality rather then their purple, pickle, pecker like old Peter aforesaid.
Amen
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“Wow more to agree with. What is this smart night here?
AMEN”
.
No, it’s the exact opposite. Do more than just writing, in layman terms: “Omfgxxhaxors!!111one! i so agree with you, like serisously, so agreed, i’m just that cool beaucase I dunoo anything.” *cough, sorry, had to be done*
.
Yeah, be mentally stimulating instead of just reading all the stuff that you disagree and then keeping inside waiting for someone else to fight your battle for you. And that was the lamest line, “What is this smart night here?”. I’m sorry, but it’s true. I think a lot of people would agree with me on that one.
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“@AGREED
Finally! a better class of “postee†has arrived.
Someone with a firm grip on reality rather then their purple, pickle, pecker like old Peter aforesaid.
Amen”
.
When no proof of the side which acclaims to the longer history and having the more accumulation of text, I think it’s also safe to say that, for the past centuries, what have Christians been doing? I mean…looking at science which only came into true perspective in the 15-1600s and the progress it’s made, it’s kind of redundant that a religion that has been ongoing, according to Christians, for thousands of years, have not been able to publish anything in todays scientific journals. Now, a normal person would see some sense into this…but obviously, people are considered “special” these days.
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And of course, when I say “science”, I also mean what’s known as “common sense”.
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Keep up the great job your doing thumper!
I admire you.
AMEN
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@Cc
So I guess you’re saying that there hasn’t been a Christian scientist for how long? I suppose there weren’t any men/women of science belonging to any other religion besides the Church of the FSM either…ummmmm
Now go kiss mummy and toddle off to bed sweety. Let the big boys play.
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I dont know why we cant all hold hands and love each ohter and live together?
Thats what God wants. Is that so much to ask?
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@AGREED
Many thanks.
As you can probably appreciate it can be a tough day at the office round here, what with all the ranting, the abuse, the pseudo-intellectual clap trap and the suicide threats.
Nice to know that sometimes a little light of sanity can shine through the nut house curtains. My work will be done when all of these poor slobs finally wake up and smell the roses.
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hehe.
alrighty kiddies.
i have the following to say [ and although it looks like a lot...its not. ]
alright first I must state that I am a christian, woah, hold on pastafarians.
as a christian, I believe one god he created us…you guys no the story. Christianity is hard enough to get people to believe, and even at that seriously. I wonder, is this all fun and games or are you guys seriously dead set that a….flying spaghetti monster created us. I’m not downing your religion. I’m curious…and too lazy to find other methods of getting my questions answered.
1. Where did the flying spaghetti monster come from?
2. Does he really have tomatoe sauce…because my understanding of pasta as that it originated in china, but it was italy that added the tomatoe sauce.
3. If you eat spaghetti….is it an act against the F.S.M.?
Those are just a few questions….I had more ….but in the process of writing hte others i forgot.
if someone is willing to answer them please email me at fearmyautobot@yahoo.com
im interested in healthy debate. lol
and im stubborn to say the least. so give it a shot if you can.
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To Omega… YOU GOT IT!! IT’S A JOKE!! Congratulations. And while you’re at it, please, please, please learn some correct punctuation. Man, that is one of my pet peeves. Thank you.
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Amen dr. baneful you asked all the right questions. Now I wonder what these clowns will do.
AMEN
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*yawn* You people are so loud…
This my first visit to this site and out of sheer boredom and laziness I’ve read ’bout half the writing on this page.. I’ve finally came to the this conclusion; you’re all loud..
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To Dr. Baneful… I am no authority, just a recent convert to Pastafarianism, but I think I can say that:
1) The Flying Spaghetti Monster did not actually come from anywhere. He has always existed. I know that’s not a very clear answer but it’s the truth.
2) Yes, He has tomato sauce, and pesto sauce, and Asiago cream sauce, etc. etc. because He accepts the holy sauce from all over the world which He created.
3) Eating spaghetti is a tribute to the Flying Spaghetti Monster! He encourages it!
.
Hope those answers helped. May you be touched by His noodly appendage!
Wench Beth :)
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To AGREED… we’ve taken a poll and decided that you are a BLUE MEANIE who needs to get a sense of humor. Try it; you might find that you like it!
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@ Repku I think what it is. There are a couple of good Christians here and they are trying to help these lost souls. But there are some really stupid people here.
Women degrading themslves to caling each other wenchs and guys with mouths so big and brains so small. They make it hard for the good ones to get through.
AMEN
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Well I did get I came for.. The best part of this is that I’m an agnostic asshole (note: two seperate things).. and thus exempt from any discussions of religion or politic.. Heh.. I can just sit here on the sidelines.. Comfortabley..
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To AGREED… man, you really have to learn to spell. Have you figured out YET that this is all a joke? If not, the joke’s on you, really. I’m not cutting you down, I’m just being honest. Everyone else on this site knows this — why haven’t you gotten it yet?
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And, just so you know, we WENCHES (not “wenchs”) are quite highly regarded on the pirate ship of FSM, as are our swashbuckling men who may have big mouths but definitely have big brains as well, not to mention their BIG… oh, I better stop there. Anyway, I LOVE YOU GUYS!
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@ Wench Beth How can you say that. When poeple are making a joke out of God and Jesus? Jesus died for you and you shuold rspect that.
AMEN
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Gurrh…what’s going on here? People who believe in imaginary supernatural beings coming to tell us how clever they are?
Hahahahahahaha
@Wench Beth Jan 17th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
“Have you figured out YET that this is all a joke?”
Wench Beth, any satire on this site is purely coincidental.
RAmen
@Peter Poppoff
I think we should do “Let’s play bible” for these poor souls who bought all that snake oil
of those religion salesmen?
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“A GREED”
Yep that pretty much sums up what the fundie sales people have.
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I will keep you wenchs in my prayers.
AMEN
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@AGREED
“How can you say that. When poeple are making a joke out of God and Jesus? Jesus died for you and you shuold rspect that.”
I beg to differ. It is the god botherers making a joke of the one true creator, His Noodlyness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, with their trio of imaginary friends, who are mocking.
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@The Wenches
Sales? Like I posted earlier somewhere… it would seem the merchandising arm of the “church” of the FSM is doing very nicely…either of you possess your very own authentic FSM T shirt? Signed by Capt Henderson himself for a modest fee perhaps?
Anyway Bambi is calling.
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@A GREED Jan 18th, 2007 at 12:07 am
“I will keep you wenchs in my prayers.”
You going to sacrafice a goat as well?
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Thumpy and Agreed
I do have some sympathy for those who need to use an imaginary friend as an excuse for all their actions and thoughts. But mostly it’s a pretty weak cop out if you ask me. No meatballs!
Ostridges and mushrooms!
RAmen
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You tell them thumper!
AMEN
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To AGREED… you have every right to believe that Jesus died for your sins, but you haven’t the right to force that belief on others. Why not defect and profess your eternal loyalty to the Flying Spaghetti Monster? He will reward you with an eternal seat at the Beer Volcano and a VIP pass to the Stripper Factory. Now what other god can promise you that? Just think about it, that’s all I’m saying.
.
Not intending to insult, only to educate…
Wench Beth :)
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Wnceh Nikii if you will just accept Jesus as your saviover.
He will cleanse your sole and fill your heart with joy!
It’s not to late Nikkii would you like to pray with me?
AMEN
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AGREED
Jan 17th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
@ Wench Beth How can you say that. When poeple are making a joke out of God and Jesus? Jesus died for you and you shuold rspect that.
AMEN
*
Why?
*
Why should I respect an imaginary deity and his imaginary kid???? Why oh why do christians allways find it nescesary to demand I respect them, their faith etc etc???
You seem to think it perfectly ok not to respect me or the other wenches or even the guys here…
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@Thumper Jan 18th, 2007 at 12:12 am
“The Wenches….Sales?”
Least we’d have something to show for our money if we did..hahahahaha.
As of yet the CoFSM hasn’t cost me a cent! In fact you wouldn’t believe the money I’ve saved on entertainment :)
So thanks for contributing to my savings, guys :)
Mau His Noodly Appendage touch you where you need it most.
RAmen
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And we have butieful Churches to.
AMEN
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To Wench Nikkiee… AGREED says that if you accept Jesus as your SAVIOVER (whatever that is!) he will cleanse your SOLE! That means a free shoe shine — at least for one of your shoes! Or maybe he means he’ll clean the fish you just caught (SOLE, of course). Either way, sounds like a good deal! (wink, wink)
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@Wench Nikkiee
“Imaginary friends as excuses for actions and thoughts”…is this as opposed to having imaginary friends for conversation only?
I’m happy to say that I have neither…the FSM does not influence either my cognitive or physiological function (such as I hear tell it sometimes does with an alleged “noodley appendage”) and I certianly would not entertain the notion of holding any form of conversation with the FSM…help is available…seek it…be free.
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A GREED
“He will cleanse your sole”
Excellent. I stepped in dogshit over at a fundie forum recently and my shoe really stinks.
That’s really nice of you to offer your jeesus to clean the soles of my shoes. When should I expect him? Will he expect a tip?
By the way do you pay a weekly amount directly debited from your account for your “salvation”?
Or just hand it over to your poor altruistic church pastor?
Also requarding your command of literacy, are you drunk, dyslexic or illiterate?
I know from most of our past xtian posters, that learning the bible story doesn’t leave much time for learning the three “r”s, but your style is rather different to the norm.
Different church brand maybe?
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@Thumper I think you are doing a great job thumper!
AMEN
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Thumper Jan 18th, 2007 at 12:31 am
“Imaginary friends as excuses for actions and thoughtsâ€â€¦is this as opposed to having imaginary friends for conversation only? I’m happy to say that I have neither”
.
What do you call those entities you pray to? Should I have more accurately said ghosts, maybe?
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Wench Neekii I have MS so I can’t type very weel. But I do the best that God allows me to.
And Im gratful for that. God is Great!
AMEN
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Anyway I’m bored.
Can’t say it has been stimulating. Oh well maybe next time!
RAmen
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Thumber I hope she comes back. I think she was starting to lisen to you!
AMEN
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Unless of course you want to buy some miracle water? Peter Poppoff left a couple of cases with me, should any likely suckers…erm…I mean customers, turn up.
RAmen
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You two sound very familiar!!
Still got to go…reality calls. Have fun kids. :)
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@CcGame
Like the scientific approach to the temperature of heaven. Maybe you didn’t know, but we are all deeply into thermodynamics. Aren’t we guys (and highly respected wenches)? So here is a bit on the thermodynamics of Hell. It’s a bit old, you may have seen it before, and it’s not as good as yours, but anyway:
http://wfhummel.cnchost.com/hell.html
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I can’t help staring in disbelief at people who tell about God’s and Jesus’s acts AND thoughts, as if they have known them personally. No one really doubts about the historical Jesus: some non-christian Romans’ reports testify, very casually, about this Jesus and his followers… But lots of people get sucked into their holy book, start to over-interprete the words printed in it, and tell about it like if they were eye witnesses of events that -according to this same book- happened between 2000 and 6000 years ago! Beats me… at that point, do we REALLY need the amount of braincells most of us are hiding nicely in our skull? “God wants us to do this, Jesus did that, blablabla…” At least, FSM is a much nicer phenomenom: tolerance, fun, right to debate Him and His Noodlyness, actually lots of the REALLY importing matters ALSO found in more traditional religion books (if you look very very closely to them): mainly trying to live together without harming your neighbours (nor the rest of the environment).
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