Ah… yet another ‘fringe’ religion trying to go main stream. Yet I wonder if you realize that standardized religion was set in place to keep the general masses in line? You see there was no standardized religion in the beginning. It wasn’t until the general populace started to become unruly that anyone decided to slap religion upon them. That way the leaders of the church could easily control those who threatened to topple their empires by creating a set of rules. I find it funny that supposedly only the leaders of these churches commune with “God” or whatever you choose to call your ‘creator’.
To be frank, I find your religion to be quite humorous. I also have something to point out that has been pointed out before… Why is it that your ‘creator’ is a mass of wheat, meat and tomato sauce? What if spaghetti had never been invented? What would you choose to idolize as your ‘creator’ then? I find it sad that you have sucked in these poor, directionless people. I personally find it sad that anyone needs to look to religion to find some sort of meaning to their life. We fear that which we do not understand. It’s simple human nature. If you feel the need to have a god, or goddess, or flying spaghetti monster or whatever run your life for you… fine. I still pitty you.
As for the doctor pointing to the bacteria as “proof” that a flying spaghetti monster exists… Please, don’t feed these people false hope. What you depict is simply a bacterium. Those tendrils or ‘noodles’ as I’m sure you call them, are simply a means of propelling the microbe through fluid. Be that water, blood, whatever. Your ‘pirate’ weatherman? Simply a man who had eye surgery and must wear an eyepatch to protect it from becoming infected. Your swimming ‘FSM’ in Northern California? Kelp. More commonly known as seaweed, but in fact the two are different. And finally… your proof that ‘Pastafarianism’ (which might I add isn’t clever at all) began in Israel? Simply a work of modern art placed in an old temple.
The name ‘Pastafarianism’ is actually a clever play on ‘Rastafarianism’, which was started by a Jamaican man named Rastafari. I find it sad that so many people believe so devoutly in this well thought out and well played joke. To see that so many people fight for this just proves my theory that humans are impulsive, dim-witted creatures that try so desperately to explain that which they can find no plausible answer to by turning to religion.
In closing I must state that the ‘global warming issue’ isn’t an issue at all. In fact the world still hasn’t fully come out of it’s second ice age and the rising tempuratures we are seeing are a result of that. Once more an example of humans fearing that which they do not understand. We try to explain things that frighten us. It is simply human nature. Also I must ask why you think that pirates are a different species than humans? I believe you said something about humans sharing 95% of their DNA with primates (specifically chimps if I remember correctly) and over 99% with pirates. Please… how many of you are truly that ignorant?
-Sincerely,
A devout believer in letting things be [Kieran]
now, i do not quite understand this person. he is obviously very clever, probabaly his IQ is ranked as at least average by pastafarian standards (which i personnally believe to be about 110 ish) and he has not degraded himself by swearing at us or calling pastafarians “fucking tosspots”. How can ANYONE be so clever and yrt so stupid??? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND?!?! This guy annoys me more than fundies!!! If this were a satirical site (which it is not *ahem ahem*) there would be so many letters telling him to get a life and try to understand what pastafarianism is doing (calling religious people FOOLS lol). But as this isn’t a satirical site (another *ahem ahem*) , we cannot tell him this (MASSIVE *AHEM AHEM*). pity really…. of course i would expect most people to read between the lines in this. (i.e. one thing that some may find in this letter is that i am hinting that PASTAFARIAMISM IS NOT REAL, for instance. not that i am hinting that of course…*AHEM AHEM*) But he may not read between these lines as his interlect is probably on par with a slightly retarded doormouse.
Sorry about being rude, i just cannot help it! this person could be so clever and could well become a pastafarianist, yet he is too STUPID to realise.
Ok, rant over, please continue all :D
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Hi pete.
Me and other regulars are goofing around with a Yahoo group we’re building.
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This guys says:
As for the doctor pointing to the bacteria as “proof†that a flying spaghetti monster exists… Please, don’t feed these people false hope. What you depict is simply a bacterium. Those tendrils or ‘noodles’ as I’m sure you call them, are simply a means of propelling the microbe through fluid.
It is a well known fact that those tendrils are far to silly to have evolved (whatever that is).
Some that stupid could only be the product of unintelligent design.
Those tendrils matey prove beyond all possible doubt that the FSM created the world in around 2 seconds with a hangover.
The author is a nutcase if he can’t see that.
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Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 16th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Hi pete.
Me and other regulars are goofing around with a Yahoo group we’re building.
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Hi, I saw that, sign me up!
I got an invite, but not sure how to respond to it?
I’ll give it another look in a while.
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Eggy, I have a feeling that the poor author suffers from Extreme Youth Syndrome. He has his own computer, which has never had porn on it, he studies, he has grandparents who have a pool. He is a teenager.
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Pools kick total butt!
Ramen
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Jeeze. I leave for one night and the thread is uped by a hundred entries.
1st of all, to Kieran. Sorry, I realize it was a joke (I think) but you were just really convincing. You’ll be a great if annoying actor.
For all the war and Iraq talk up there, I’m with you guys. While Saddam had to be removed by someone, I just don’t see how we’re doing any good there now. We can’t solve thier internal problems, only they can. And twenty thousand or three hundred thousand more troops isn’t going to make a difference.
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Peter,
I think you click join in the e-mail and yer in.
Unless you’ve got some 1960s teletype for an e-mail client in which case, err dunno.
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No Global Warming? What planet did this person come from?
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Hi, Captain.
I’m working on it. Can’t find the “join” button?
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Since I’m here,
Does anybody know whats invisible and smells like worms?
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Bird farts!
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Bird farts!
Would those be from wingless blue moon chickens?
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Peter there should be a grey button on a blue background in the bottom right of your message with the label ‘Join This Group’.
That’s what everyone else did.
There are now 8 disciples of the FSM….
Invitation only….
Very exclusive….
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Hahaha. Did you see this one on your cyber travels.
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MONTANA GRIZZLY BEAR NOTICE:
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
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I laughed!
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Maybe!
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Captain. I joined I think! Thanks for the invite. Although I’ve now got more identities than an MI6 agent. I’m not even sure of my real name anymore!
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@SaucyWench. I know exactly what you mean about having to bite your tongue! I suspect we do it because we were brought up to respect the beliefs of others. I’ve been known to hide the front cover of books I’m reading on the train. So I wont offend people. Mind you, it was Jane’s handbook of Chemical and Biological Warfare :)
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I sometimes wonder if this site is doing me any favours, mentally. The regulars are fantastic but some of the post and run lot do my ******* head in. The sheer, bloody intolerance of these complete tossers makes me want to do violent things to their …
Ahh what the hell. Life and let live eh!
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Oh, and apologies to anyone who I might have had a go at yesterday. Esp. moronic european, DPG and heathen. You got in the firing line guys. Sorry :(
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hahaha, That is funny.
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“We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray.”
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I’m off to buy some bells and pepper spray now…
I want to add though, I will not spary a BEAR with PEPPER SPRAY!
Any sooner then I will stick my willie in a beehive! Seeeessshhh!
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Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 16th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Peter there should be a grey button on a blue background in the bottom right of your message with the label ‘Join This Group’.
That’s what everyone else did.
There are now 8 disciples of the FSM….
Invitation only….
Very exclusive….
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Ok, at the last pass, I got in.
I didn’t have that button? Or I couldn’t see it, or something.
I just started hitting links, and answering questions, next thing I knew… Tada!
I’m in. Now to find my way back there again.
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Peace, O Faithful, peace!
Beat not upon the brow of unfortunate Kiernan. That sloping brow clearly already has been split asunder at least once before, in his infancy, when his adrenis humoris (Greater Gland of Humor and Irony) was removed (possibly by pirates).
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Dana Jan 16th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Peace, O Faithful, peace!
Beat not upon the brow of unfortunate Kiernan. That sloping brow clearly already has been split asunder at least once before, in his infancy, when his adrenis humoris (Greater Gland of Humor and Irony) was removed (possibly by pirates).
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Arrrr… In deed his adrenis humoris was removed by pirates!
The last time he went swimming in his Gramma’s swimming pool!
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Kieran
The reason most people here did not take to you well is, you sound like you hold a very high opinion of your self and believe that you are so much smarter than the Pastafarian’s IN a nuts shell you say “I am going to explain what you are doing wrong and write it so I sound mature and you sound like mislead or misbehaving children.”
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NO ONE likes a snobbish asshole
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P.S. Had to get that out now to finish reading the rest of the comments.
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@Alchemist
“Black bear dung contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.”
I’m with Peter on that…hahahahahahahahaha
RAmen
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@ Dana Jan 16th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Peace, O Faithful, peace!
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Hahaha. Good one. Loved your link btw. I hope your students realise what they’ve got. I bet they don’t though.
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Do you know, not one of my lecturers was female! This wasn’t in the dark ages either! Early 90s, and they all smelled of ammonia and sulphur! Still, better get used to the smell – for hell bound am I!
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No, no, Alchemist! You are not bound for Hell. You are bound for an eternity of delicious beer in endless supplies; young, sweet and gorgeous strippers who are attentive and clever; and, of course, a myriad of activities that stimulate the brain and the body. All this is yours, AND, if you act today, at no extra charge, you get the stainless steel slicer as well as the salad spinner. Incredible, I know, but ACT TODAY, for tomorrow may be too late.
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HAHAHAHA! Call 1-800-FAITH and you too can receive the baptism of the holy cheeseus sauce!
Salad spinner? Fantastic. Should I change today or tomorrow? Maybe I should have done it yesterday! Do I take the plank out of my eye or pick the speck out of someone else’s.
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Nice one ROM!
RAmen
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“Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.”
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That’s it… I’m staying out of North America
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Jingles
Likes pepper, has bells on… I’m screwed
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Poor Bobby’s been taking care of poor sick Cari and is now probably sick himself, so he may not have had time to share my latest love–the Mr. Deity videos on YouTube! Hahahaha, one of my best friends is mad at me because I recommended them–don’t quite know why, but it reminds me of that Australian chick who lost her best friend to FSM. Talk about prats!
And let’s not get too cocky about “only two more years.” I’ve lived long enough to see the Democratics shoot them(our)selves in the foot by nominating someone who could never, ever get elected. “We may lose, but we’ll make our point!” Swell.
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@Jingles
Hahahahahahaha! You be careful out there! ;)
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Mr. Deity rules!! Thanks Martha. Can’t wait for episode 5.
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Some people have so little intellect that it’s not even funny. I bet this guy doesn’t know that the guy who told him about FSM was being sarcastic. Oh no, did I just blaspheme FSM?
To Kieran if you are reading this: No one really believes in the FSM. We just go along with it because we “stick it 2 da man!”, the “man” being anti-evolutionist Christians. It’s a mockery of sorts, or a parody.
You think maybe this Kieran guy is using reverse-sarcasm on us? If he is, then we really got suckered into writing long, sarcastic comments to make fun of his non-existent stupidity for nothing. Kieran is the next Borat!
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guy’s, I know you like to waste your life, but please, NOT SPAGHETTI!!
Get a life, play World of Warcraft
(or do something with potatoes)
greets, your greatest fan
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jeroen
Jan 17th, 2007 at 2:58 am
guy’s, I know you like to waste your life, but please, NOT SPAGHETTI!!
Get a life, play World of Warcraft
(or do something with potatoes)
greets, your greatest fan
*
I fel slightly discriminated here, shouldn’t we wenches be told to get a life as well?? Oh, and what do you have against spaghetti? It’s so tasty.
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@Jamie Lynn Jan 17th, 2007 at 2:38 am
“No one really believes in the FSM.”
Speak for yourself, I’m going all the way to beer and stripper heaven.
RAmen
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Get well soon Prophet Bobby and Cari :)
May His Noodly appendage bless and heal you.
RAmen
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You guys are so paphetic. Or this is a REALLY good joke, or you guys are just lifeless spaghetti worshippers. Did’nt you had a youth?! We don’t discriminate you, your just sad.
regards, jeroen joene_prinzen@hotmail.com
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@jeroen Jan 17th, 2007 at 2:58 am
guy’s, I know you like to waste your life…
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What were you doing in primary school when everyone else was taught about the apostrophe?
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Remember–never use an apostrophe with plurals unless they’re possessive, in which case the apostrophe comes after the ’s’. Your apostrophe misuse suggests that either something belongs to the guy of which you speak or that the guy is something. I’ll go out on a limb and assume that you speak of more than one guy, in which case the apostrophe is neither necessary nor correct–unless of course you mean that something belongs to the guys, in which case you would write it guys’ (and pronounce it ‘guyses’)
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’scuse my veering off topic, but I can’t tolerate apostrophe misuse.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Conceptual Continuity
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No-one believes in the FSM??????? Like heck they don’t. Try disbelieving gravity, that’s a phenomenon on equal footing with the certainty of his existance. Go on, I dare you. See, told you. No FSM indeed, what’s the world coming to…..
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Why do so many people have such trouble understanding this site? It’s not like it’s all that complicated a concept
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yes jeroen, this site is indeed a really good joke. well done for realising.
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To me it’s not a joke!
I whole heartedly believe the CoFSM site is real. So is everything it stands for.
RAmen
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I do like potatoes though….
Dr.Worm
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RAmen!
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Can’t you make Vodka from potatoes?
OK who has the recipe?
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yeah, you can make Vodka from potatoes. Lets face it, potatoes are pretty badass. They’re good mashed up with butter and they’re good liquified with alcohol. Potatoes are the new miracle veggie.
Dr. Worm
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Last time I checked, playing something like WoW non-stop meant that you had no life, and taking an enhanced interest in religious conflicts and science meant that you had one. Did someone change the meaning while I was away?
It’s not that I have anything against WoW (I personally love video games, though there has been a severe dip in originality over recent years), but considering that there have been a couple deaths by starvation associated with it, I prefer to stear clear.
And what, oh great and infallible jeroen, is wrong with spaghetti?
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god, people are dumb
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God should know that Peter, he made them, apparently.
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I have heard of people dying from playing video games. Apparently it only takes a few days, which is strange to me. I have heard stories in the news of people surviving in the wilderness in extreme conditions with no food or water and little or no sleep for a week or more before they are eventually rescued. So apparently these gamers get really into the game, don’t eat, or drink, or sleep and then die in 3 days time. But someone can get lost in a desert, not eat, or drink, and barely sleep while dealing with extreme weather conditions and walking around trying to find help day after day and survive a week? That just doesn’t add up. I guess it’s easier to survive in the wilderness with no food or water than it is to survive in your own room in front of your computer.
Anyway, i guess people dying from video games is proof of natrual selection. If you’re too stupid to put down the controller and go downstairs to the kitchen to make yourself a sandwhich, i guess you deserve to drop dead in front of your screen.
Dr.Worm
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Peter, I think you put in a comma where you don’t need to.
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That should read “god people are dumb!”
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@jeroen, you’re an idiot. I thought about email you to tell you this but reasoned that you are too far gone.
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Eh, well, at least everybody knows that it’s a satirical take on traditional religion. Right?
Anyway, I personally had a hard time telling if this 5 paragraph essay was serious or not. I had to read his comments afterwards to find out he’s just trying to be witty. Nothing against the writer, but I’m not into reading 5 paragraphs of “sarcasm;” it looked like he had a high SAT score, but was as dumb as a lump of coal in the world of practicality. Just a heads up for your next sarcastic piece of satire.
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Booty, you’re a nurse, can you explain to me what it is about video games that seem to be more demanding on the body than wandering around in the wilderness? I know this question may sound sarcastic but i’m actually serious, my last post seems to have piqued my curriosity.
Maybe games demand more mental activity and the increased mental activity is somehow more physically demanding than the stress of being lost in the middle of nowhere? I don’t know, but now im very curious.
Dr.Worm
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It’s a satirical take, Thunderpants you catch on quick!
BTW,Thunderpants! Rocks da house. I like that! I do!
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@ Peter, if you are going to use part of my name, thats Ok.
But please use caps, Ok?
Me and Nikkiee have a thing about using caps. Thanks.
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@ jeroen, er’ okie dokey then…
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@ Everybody, WTF?
Miracle potatoes? Huumm, you might be on to something there.
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