Ah… yet another ‘fringe’ religion trying to go main stream. Yet I wonder if you realize that standardized religion was set in place to keep the general masses in line? You see there was no standardized religion in the beginning. It wasn’t until the general populace started to become unruly that anyone decided to slap religion upon them. That way the leaders of the church could easily control those who threatened to topple their empires by creating a set of rules. I find it funny that supposedly only the leaders of these churches commune with “God” or whatever you choose to call your ‘creator’.
To be frank, I find your religion to be quite humorous. I also have something to point out that has been pointed out before… Why is it that your ‘creator’ is a mass of wheat, meat and tomato sauce? What if spaghetti had never been invented? What would you choose to idolize as your ‘creator’ then? I find it sad that you have sucked in these poor, directionless people. I personally find it sad that anyone needs to look to religion to find some sort of meaning to their life. We fear that which we do not understand. It’s simple human nature. If you feel the need to have a god, or goddess, or flying spaghetti monster or whatever run your life for you… fine. I still pitty you.
As for the doctor pointing to the bacteria as “proof” that a flying spaghetti monster exists… Please, don’t feed these people false hope. What you depict is simply a bacterium. Those tendrils or ‘noodles’ as I’m sure you call them, are simply a means of propelling the microbe through fluid. Be that water, blood, whatever. Your ‘pirate’ weatherman? Simply a man who had eye surgery and must wear an eyepatch to protect it from becoming infected. Your swimming ‘FSM’ in Northern California? Kelp. More commonly known as seaweed, but in fact the two are different. And finally… your proof that ‘Pastafarianism’ (which might I add isn’t clever at all) began in Israel? Simply a work of modern art placed in an old temple.
The name ‘Pastafarianism’ is actually a clever play on ‘Rastafarianism’, which was started by a Jamaican man named Rastafari. I find it sad that so many people believe so devoutly in this well thought out and well played joke. To see that so many people fight for this just proves my theory that humans are impulsive, dim-witted creatures that try so desperately to explain that which they can find no plausible answer to by turning to religion.
In closing I must state that the ‘global warming issue’ isn’t an issue at all. In fact the world still hasn’t fully come out of it’s second ice age and the rising tempuratures we are seeing are a result of that. Once more an example of humans fearing that which they do not understand. We try to explain things that frighten us. It is simply human nature. Also I must ask why you think that pirates are a different species than humans? I believe you said something about humans sharing 95% of their DNA with primates (specifically chimps if I remember correctly) and over 99% with pirates. Please… how many of you are truly that ignorant?
-Sincerely,
A devout believer in letting things be [Kieran]
‘To be frank, I find your religion to be quite humorous’- hmm. oh dear, dear. that is the last thing you should be thinking!! please, go eat some pasta.
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wow. i thought Mike’s kind of inanity was extinct on this website, but no. clearly there are many more hours of nihilistic entertainment left in the opinions of these shit-eating freaks of nature.
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@Marc McOar: sorry, it’s not Guido i’m thinking of here. was it Charles McMurrey who threatened to do nasty things to Bobby’s arse involving oars and superglue?
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I’m always a bit dubious of posters like Mike, they do seem preoccupied with homosexuality (to the extent they can’t find the caps lock), maybe this is a case of methinks he does protest too much. Mike, if you’re there, it’s ok to feel this way. do you find yourself attracted to other men? maybe you can’t understand why? it’s ok, pastafarians will still welcome you. it doesn’t make you a bad person. we should all give him our support at a troubling time like this… come on Mike, just admit it to yourself, it’s the first step.
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@Mike Jan 25th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
“DO U FUCK ANAMILS BESTLY?? I BET U DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
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As opposed to worstly? How do you do it bestly Mike?
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@Mike Jan 25th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
“You will all burn in hell for being gay and saying bad things about God.”
Ooh Mike, which god? You should listen to what all the imaginary gods have to say about people like you. It’s not good!
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Johnny Corvette
Jan 25th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
where’s the ignor button when you need it.
*
Oh please someone invent one! I would so totally buy one of those!! Bliss to be able to simple switch off some sex-obsessed morons.
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“Oh please someone invent one! I would so totally buy one of those!! Bliss to be able to simple switch off some sex-obsessed morons.”
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So the challenge goes to the first person who can produce a FF extension that can look for a regexp in the form (say) <li>Mike<br>.*?</li>
Lets hope that works….
And removes that from the rendered page. I shall look if ever I get the time. Can use it to render out a lot of unwanted crap etc.
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U R ALL SO GAY BECAUSE GOD LOVES ME U R JELOUS! HAHAHAHA TO BAD!!!!!!!!
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@MIKE
Then pray to “God” for a lesson in grammar. The last thing I want is the love of a fictional mass-murderer. I’ll stick to the love of a kind noodly monster, thank you.
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Who let mike out of his cage again the zoo want him back.
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TOO OF U HOMOS R HERE. WHERES MARK????? STIL GOT OARS UP HIS ASS?????? HAHAHA LOL
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Mike, with your preoccupation with “GAY” (to use your vocabulary) how does your god love you? does he get to be the wife or do you take it in turns?
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FUUUCCCKKKKK YOOOUUUUUU HOMO
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Well if god was the wife i don’t think he would get much pleasure from mike(i have a feeling it’s a bit small) i reckon mike likes to be the bitch.
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Certainly sounds that way, bet he’s a screamer from reading his posts…
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BELIVE IN GOD AND TAKE THE DICKS OUT OF YOUR ASSES!!!!!! HE CAN EVEN SAVE YOU FAGGOOOSS……………………………
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@Mike
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do u actually expect to be taken seriously. do you even feel like your threatening. or funny. no, you just prove our point that some people are better off abandoning your world view. also, what are you, three years old or something. you sound like a little retarded kid.
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perhaps he can’t finish words properly as he’s screaming with pleasure (or maybe pain – see posts elsewhere about gods fetishes) he certainly seems to have confirmed our deduction about him.
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Still mike, if you like taking it thats ok. we’re tolerant here just keep the noise down people are trying to think (if you need the concept explaining to you just ask)
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U R ALL JUST JELIOS BECAUSE GOD IS IN ME ALL U HAVE R OARS IN YOUR ASSES…… HAHAHAHAHA
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@Mike
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do u know how to spell, or are those just typos.
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you know, the sheer emotional trauma that Mike must be going through is really quite funny to me, here. he takes such violent offence to the existence of “homos” that all he can do is MAKE CAPS-LOCKED POSTS ON THE WEBSITE OF A SATIRICAL RELIGION.
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i think Maike’s existence can be taken as proof that there is no god. no god (except maybe Apophis, or Loki) could create something so horribly broken as Mike.
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is mike broken? so soon? i told god to be gentle with him, he isn’t broken in yet and is just getting used to divine buggery….
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I think that it’s pretty clear by now that Mike is a fake hate-poster. He knew of the sacred oars, completely overstates everything (though what he says is pretty limited), and uses what is probably purposefully bad spelling. Anyone who actually talked like that would never be let near something electrical, and DEFINITELY never let near other people.
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FUCK U GANOOCHI SACRED OARS??????? IS THAT WHAT U HOMOS ALL THEM? UP YOUR ASS??????? HOMO HAHAHAHAHA
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Okay, maybe I better go over this for clarity: Gnocci (or gnocchi) is pronounced
nee-o-kee (knee oh key)
So Mike, ganoochi really doesn’t fit the original word too well. And as I have said many times to you before, I am heterosexual and have absolutely nothing against homosexuals. Please gain a little tolerance.
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“GOD IS IN ME”….well…..that explains a lot. I hope you used protection!
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i wonder if it’s possible for “Mike” to make a post which doesn’t contain the words “fuck”, “gay” or “homo”. he probably hasn’t realised that his own language seems to focus heavily on these words. Mike, it’s okay that you’re a homosexual. although myself and most people on this site are heterosexual, we have nothing against gays (or anyone) simply because of their sexuality.
you would do well to admit to yourself that you are what you say you hate. you will be much happier afterwards.
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Hey guys. This is my first visit to the site, and I have become an instant fan!!!!
@Kieran: Joking or not, I thought that you did bring up several interesting points in you post. One of which being the fact that humans “fear that which we do not understand” and try to find explanations for these things. People turn in different directions to find these answers; some looking to religion, others to science, and still others (though much fewer) creating their own explanations. It’s human nature.
Speaking of which, I actually heard about your site while I was a member of a satirical religion in Florida created by a couple of my friends. It actually died (in November), as we did not acquire more than thirteen members. I believe the site is still up.
http://www.freewebs.com/cuttlefish/
And about humans sharing 99% of our DNA with pirates, that’s pirates are sooooo much awesomer than normal human beings!!!!!!! (I love to neologize!!!!!!)
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Methinks that Mike is a fake. But, I like him nonetheless.
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welcome aboard, cuttlefish!
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BELIVE IN GOD AND TAKE THE DICKS OUT OF YOUR ASSES!!!!!! HE CAN EVEN SAVE YOU FAGGOOOSS……………………………
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He’s saving us some faggot’s. Yea! There will be food in heaven after all. Let us all rejoice.
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Mike, is there any chance of some haggis or black pudding too?
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@Cuttlefish Rule.
I’m a little offended by your post, you come here claiming we just pretend, then try to convert people to some little ‘religion’ that even you admit is a made up crock of shit. You shall burn in an especially hot chilli laced sauce my poor heretic. Oh yes you will!
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Oh, and well come good fellow, may your seas be full of bounty.
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shame, i was enjoying playing with mike, although not as much as his god was by the sounds of it….
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Well I have just taken… quite a while to read all these posts. I am devastated that I seem to have missed out on all the fun with Kieran. Poor Mike doesn’t seem to offer the same level of entertainment.
Noodle one and wait for the slimy appendage people.
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I’m not sure…but I don’t think “pitty” is a word.
That will be all.
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to Teddy:
I didn’t mean to offend anyone and I’m sorry if I did. All I meant was: What was religion to begin with but an attempt to explain that which is unknown? I certainly don’t know all of the answers to life’s questions, and I praise anyone who can find answers to their questions. Whether they be answers that have had believers for centuries, or believers who have only recently come into existence. And, regardless of whether I believe or not, the reason I am here is because I wish to support those of you who do believe.
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And as for simmering in “an especially hot chilli laced sauce”, perhaps that’s what I deserve, and if so, I’ll meet it willingly.
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I think Teddy was having a bit of fun with you, Cuttlefish.
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If so, then I totally understand, but I generally don’t like to take chances when posting on a new site, at least for the first three days.
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cuttlefish rule, not to worry here, cuttlefish rule.
I’m pretty sure we’re all nuts anyway!
I just wished I was a Punk Rocker, with flowers in my hair.
Ramen
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I hate that song.
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I like it! Just heard it for the first time today, us Americans are slow at some things.
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Welcome aboard, cuttlefish. It helps to have a tough hide aboard this vessel, what with all the god-botherers about. You will learn the ropes soon enough.
To accept the Pirate life is to accept the eternal Arrrgh!!! Without it, you would be just another landlubber.
May you be forever touched by His Noodly Appendage. Arrrgh!!!
RAmen
MJK
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And to think this whole thread started with: “Ah… yet another ‘fridge’ religion”. I like cold beer and all but to worship a fridge that would be stupid!
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but to worship a fridge that would be stupid”
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Not if it was filled with beer!
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Dear concerned hater of His noodlyness,
You appear to be a very intelligible person who can figure things out for him/herself. You are aware that the bacteria is not proof, and that the art in jeruselem in merely modern art. It is amazing that you don’t see the religion for quite what it is despite this. We are not in anyway serious. We are aware of what these things are in real life. We don’t care. We enjoy finding the most rediculous things and claiming them as proof. We know that we are full of shit, and we love it. The religion isn’t about being truthful, honest, or converting others with proof. It’s about having fun and bashing Intelligent Design. If you want to bash an idiotic theory, bash Intelligent Design. I’m Roman Catholic, and even I find it stupid. the evidence it funny, not proof. We don’t really pray to him, we pretend to because it is fun. And if we can actually keep this going long enough to buy a pirate ship, that is awesome. Also, saying the stuff you said incurs his noodly wrath, so watch what you type.
-Neal Werle, devout Pastafarian/Catholic/person with sense of humor.
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I read a book when i was a child called Grandma And The Pirates. it is a story about a Grandma who makes delicious noodles. the smell of pasta attacts pirates, and they take the pasta and the grandma to make her make more.
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Surly there is not a single children’s book as holy as this one, for it contains bothe Pirates and Pasta, and Pirates eating Pasta. here is a link that mentions the book.
http://www.phoebegilman.com/grandma.html
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mmmm pasta
yummy
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Sounds like awesome book worthy of his noodliness!!!!!
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Time for our prophet to start a FSM Noodly Library (if it doesn’t exist already, I still haven’t explored ALL the corners of venganza…
RAmen to you Pirates!
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@Cuttlefish rule.
Sorry dude, I was referring to the ‘following another satirical religion’. Bringing that filth here! ;) How very dare you. You can rest assured that the pastafarians are only offended by tossers who don’t have a sense of humour.
Welcome aboard, and won’t you join me in a quick chilli sauce with pasta shells. Yum!
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If ever ANYONE mentions something other than the ‘ONE TRUE WAY’ then you jump on them and cast them down in noodley smothering. Y’ows got it me matey?
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BTW, it’s ‘an’ FSM (F is spelt/pronounced ‘ef’), sorry pet peeve of mine.
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