Ah… yet another ‘fringe’ religion trying to go main stream. Yet I wonder if you realize that standardized religion was set in place to keep the general masses in line? You see there was no standardized religion in the beginning. It wasn’t until the general populace started to become unruly that anyone decided to slap religion upon them. That way the leaders of the church could easily control those who threatened to topple their empires by creating a set of rules. I find it funny that supposedly only the leaders of these churches commune with “God” or whatever you choose to call your ‘creator’.
To be frank, I find your religion to be quite humorous. I also have something to point out that has been pointed out before… Why is it that your ‘creator’ is a mass of wheat, meat and tomato sauce? What if spaghetti had never been invented? What would you choose to idolize as your ‘creator’ then? I find it sad that you have sucked in these poor, directionless people. I personally find it sad that anyone needs to look to religion to find some sort of meaning to their life. We fear that which we do not understand. It’s simple human nature. If you feel the need to have a god, or goddess, or flying spaghetti monster or whatever run your life for you… fine. I still pitty you.
As for the doctor pointing to the bacteria as “proof” that a flying spaghetti monster exists… Please, don’t feed these people false hope. What you depict is simply a bacterium. Those tendrils or ‘noodles’ as I’m sure you call them, are simply a means of propelling the microbe through fluid. Be that water, blood, whatever. Your ‘pirate’ weatherman? Simply a man who had eye surgery and must wear an eyepatch to protect it from becoming infected. Your swimming ‘FSM’ in Northern California? Kelp. More commonly known as seaweed, but in fact the two are different. And finally… your proof that ‘Pastafarianism’ (which might I add isn’t clever at all) began in Israel? Simply a work of modern art placed in an old temple.
The name ‘Pastafarianism’ is actually a clever play on ‘Rastafarianism’, which was started by a Jamaican man named Rastafari. I find it sad that so many people believe so devoutly in this well thought out and well played joke. To see that so many people fight for this just proves my theory that humans are impulsive, dim-witted creatures that try so desperately to explain that which they can find no plausible answer to by turning to religion.
In closing I must state that the ‘global warming issue’ isn’t an issue at all. In fact the world still hasn’t fully come out of it’s second ice age and the rising tempuratures we are seeing are a result of that. Once more an example of humans fearing that which they do not understand. We try to explain things that frighten us. It is simply human nature. Also I must ask why you think that pirates are a different species than humans? I believe you said something about humans sharing 95% of their DNA with primates (specifically chimps if I remember correctly) and over 99% with pirates. Please… how many of you are truly that ignorant?
-Sincerely,
A devout believer in letting things be [Kieran]
Hmmmmm…..I linked my FSM forum identity to my real webpage, so I wasn’t that anonymous to start with. And I can’t say I’m too worried about what I read in any article on The Register. Sure, it’s in my bookmark list of tech related sites I regularly visit. But with bucketloads of salt on permanent standby.
Unless you feel very strongly about privacy issues, don’t let it dissuade you from singning the petition.
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kiernan, i hope that the FSM, in his noodley might, may help you to see the light. remember, there will be beer volcanoes.
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I love this! How hilarious! We missed the point? I think someone else missed our point … these people crack me up. These are the type of people who are so ignorant that they voted for bush … I will definetly sign those petitions btw … may we all be blessed with noodly goodness …
Kieran
Jan 15th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
I do believe that you missed something here. I was trying to get a point across. It seems that I did not make that point clear enough. Human nature… we fear that which we do not understand. As such, so long as you have this site up and there are people out there that believe this as a true religion, there are going to be people that fear it and write crude letters. I admit that I was a bit elaborate in this.
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I can’t be bothered reading this whole thing, I just wanted to have a go at the original poster. Hahaha! The most entertaining people who post against FSM are always those who think they’re cleverer and somehow above it all, but reveal almost instantly that the whole idea is completely off their radar and they don’t have a clue what it is or why it’s there. The ‘educational’ tone is supremely hilarious. Bravo!!!!
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WRT the petitions, unless I’m mistaken TB won’t be interested in non-Britons signing (They say as much). In all honesty, there’s a good chance they won’t care about Britons signing.
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Teddy “…In all honesty, there’s a good chance they won’t care about Britons signing.”
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I’m afraid I agree.
It doesn’t seem to matter how loud the the ‘live and let live’ folks shout, the ‘kill them, they’re different to me. They don’t agree with me!’ brigade always shout louder!
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Jingles, I think your nihilism is catching!
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“When you came here, you completely missed the point. You assumed this was a real religion (at everyone else, please, for the sake of clarity for this poor boy, suspend the proclamations of faith), when it is in fact a satire.”
How DARE you lie and attack the FSM as part of your sick and twisted plot to deprive this boy of eternal Noodly Satisfaction.
Really, you would think that we DIDN’T have a revelation and that we WEREN’T touched by HIS Appendage.
Blasfeamer! LIAR!
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” agree with the captain we need more grog as this would solve most of the worlds problems, as who would do bad stuff when you could be downing an ice cold point of grog. ”
We don’t drink grog me arty!
“Rum with water, sugar and nutmeg was known as Bumboo and was more popular with pirates and merchantmen.”
Its Bumboo for us. Grog is for those nasty navy boys.
“A half pint of rum mixed with one quart of water and issued in two servings before noon and after the end of the working day became part of the official regulations of the Royal Navy in 1756 and lasted for more than two centuries.”
So boys it’s either Bumboo or Rum & Coke with lime…takes yer choice.
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bumboo sounds good i might have some with tonights dinner of spaghetti
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McSpaghetti Jan 22nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm
bumboo sounds good i might have some with tonights dinner of spaghetti
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Ramen, McSpaghetti Ramen!
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Alchemist, Pixely Pete, and any other ding dongs, who are here for mental stimulation and a joke or three. Heres one for ya!
Note, serious only minded people, DO NOT READ THIS!
I don’t need to off anybody else till after dinner.
Thank you!
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Who Knows What Can Happen When You’re Late?
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a TV set and lied to the police to get out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, and had taken as well as distributed illegal drugs, I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”…..
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. “I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”
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ROFL’d
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Oh yes. I really hate it when people worship a “relgion”.
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Oh dear. Not another useless brain.
“We fear that which we do not understand.” Kieran…… do you actually FEAR us? Or to put it more clearly since you obviously do NOT understand this satirical website, we are merely poking fun at those that think they have a leg to stand on in the Intelligent Design issue. We pastafarians (and YES we DO understand the coy play on words here – you did not have to explain it to us….. *sigh*) do not have a leg to stand on since we’re pirates. Some of us are legless. Peg legged in fact. Methinks we hooked you in.
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“In closing I must state that the ‘global warming issue’ isn’t an issue at all. In fact the world still hasn’t fully come out of it’s second ice age and the rising tempuratures we are seeing are a result of that. Once more an example of humans fearing that which they do not understand. ”
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Kieran again….. you’re useless. Go rent Al Gore’s DVD and weep. The ice breaking in Patagonia is no joke. My geologist husband was just there and it is just as viewed on Gore’s DVD. Go do your homework.
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“…my theory that humans are impulsive, dim-witted creatures that try so desperately to explain that which they can find no plausible answer to by turning to religion.”
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Ok, maybe you’re not quite so useless. This sentence actually makes perfect sense.
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[shakes head in despair] http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6289301.stm
it really never ends, basically i think the argument runs along the line of “i am religious therefore i demand my right to discriminate as it’s a religious freedom”. why do they never think before they speak? who elected this man? how dare they get tax breaks to practise their malign bigoted filth…
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and in case you think “it’s ok, those brits have an equalities minister!” http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4756399.stm check out her gang membership!
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Do we force this on you no. This is just a website that we have to promote us. This is no different to the Christian website except we have you pussys complaining. The idea of a spaghetti monster is alot more believeable than a guy in a nappy being stabbed and left to die on a hill and he somehow comes back from the dead. You are a racist in my opinion and cannot accept any religion that is not your own. I would very much like to meet you so i can see you for what you are and in my opinion you are an arsehole who just hears about a new religion and immediately denounces it and trys to convert others to your way of thinking. Get a life and some frieds and stop bitching like the whiney little pussy you are.
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“racist in my opinion and cannot accept any religion that is not your own”
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not to nitpick a fellow pastafarian, but racism and religious discrimination are two very seperate things. you can choose your religion. you cannot choose your race.
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“Yes, we’ll hit another ice age. (We won’t see it though).” -Teddy
Have you taken into acount the rise in technology between now and our 70’s/80’s? Remember Moore’s Law, the average age of death will soon shoot up, thanks to life extension methods like nanotechnology. It’s really quite possible that we will live long enough.
RAmen…
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PS: Homo Narrans is right, and it should be just as acceptable to pick at somebodies religion as any other choice they make, they’re all the same, they all have their errors and their contradictions…
RAmen…
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…
ah oodles of pirate fish
that makes one think of a school of pirate fish
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
think I’ll go find me an art school to pursue me ministry
and perhaps entice a few of the more stalwart to go forth and spray
pi-radical pirate fish everywhere
…
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@hexhunter:
I don’t mean to be cruel, but I feel I understand Moore’s law a lot better than you do. He only made a comment, and said it should hold true for 10yrs, it did. After that he revised it for the next short period of time. Don’t believe this rubbish of it being definite. And, again, it is most certainly not a law. IBM have already broken it.
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No matter how good we get with computers, no matter how good we get at rebuilding parts of the body synthetically, death through old age is a mix of the body and the brain giving up. The body you can help, the brain you can not.
So, the average life expectancy is not about to ’shoot up’ as you say.
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Nano tech is still very immature, and by the time it can get close to being useful in the sense I think you mean (used for body upgrade/repair) We’ll all be long dead. Transistors aren’t getting much smaller now, there be limits on how large atoms be, and what size pieces of silicon have to be for the field effect to actually work (To small and the signal will jump anyway).
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Also, a ‘nanobot’ will require programming to be able to do anything useful. Programs to actually perform complex surgery (read, surgeons go to medical school for near a decade) would be beyond the scope of any modern technology. Memory technology would have to change hugely to get it small enough, and software engineers (Pah!) need to get working if they want to be able to get a computer to match a human in a complex physical task.
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AI? Well, lets see on that note (I know you didn’t mention it). Although computers have changed greatly over the years there is one thing I have been brought up with. Software that hasn’t. So, graphics are better, more commands can be processed in a given period of time, but in the last 30yrs of trying, people still haven’t made software that can hold a simple conversation. Well, ‘and not sound like a computer’. Heck, MS Word still can’t predict what the hell I want it to do. Useless crap.
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I’m not having a go, just educating from a very educated perspective. Ignore most of what you see on TV these days. However, on the note of nano tech. It will, in the next few decades, play a massive role in surgery and in rebuilding simple to moderately complex limbs – the tech is actually out in the field now, it works, but it ain’t elegant.
And, ever played Deus Ex? Awesome game.
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So much for me trying to post less :)
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Regarding global warming. The results from the worlds largest computer modeling experiment re. climate change are available from
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/climateexperiment/
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They make interesting viewing.
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Cheers for the heads up. I thought they were advertising to get people to take part, not the results… I’ve just ignored it ’til now.
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I noticed warmer/wetter winters, but I always felt summer was cooler overall (except the past couple years have had wicked sick heat waves). Also, noticed less decent storms, gonna have to move south again ;)
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Just what I felt I noticed by the way, not an argument etc.
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Teddy – climatology is way beyond my maths ability. Chaos theory – run away, run away.
The survey shows a mean temperature increase of 4C in the UK by 2080. The UK could get a lot colder too. If the ice caps melt sufficiently then the salinity of the sea will decrease leading to a reduction or failure in the gulf stream. Moscow temperatures for us!
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At least that’s what I’ve read. I understand the Gulf Stream bit but the computer modeling flies right over my head.
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Just to weigh in on a bit with what Teddy is saying…
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The MOST optimistic views of nanotechnologists, those like Drexler and co, believe about a 150 year wait before we get to molecular assemblers.
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Also, as Teddy points out, programming them will be difficult, but even harder is powering the little buggers. They’re currently trying to figure out how to use things like Brownian motion, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
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Lastly, most of what people think of nanobots… the little robots in the bloodstream etc would actually be classed as microtechnology. They may have nanoscale components, but they are generally envisioned on a micrometre scale.
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Nanotech is doing some amazing shit (hell, we’ve already got an invisibility cloak!), but the life saving robots are a looooooooong way away. That being said, there are very promising avenues of research in many areas of medicine that involve nanoPARTICLES rather than bots.
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As the great pasta himself said: “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.”
Apathetic preaching and general not-offense to others being offended, I believe, is quintessential to our religion.
Even if I am from the Reformed Church of Alfredo.
Also, are there any other Alfredo’s out there? We need a website.
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actually the earth is now coming out of its FOURTH ice age. . . just so you know
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On nanotech, it’s more about survival of the mind, if it’s possible to scan all aspects of the brain found to cause cognitive processes, and store the data in a computer, much like the idea behind cryogenics, you could one day wake up in a new body in a few hundred years, thanks to the use of nanotech.
and on Moore’s Law, well, yes it doesn’t work at the moment, but in the short term it probably repeats itself, we might be reaching a minimum, but then eventually there will be an industrial revolution (probably nanotech) and Moore’s Law will start again…
Perhaps if we threw more money into it we would be able to stop global warming, and create surgical nanites, either money or war(apparantly natural disaster’s aren’t enough to get politians thinking)…
Anyway, the point is that we don’t really know how the next century will go, we’re probably more clueless than Man… (I brought the discussion back to FSM :-) )
RAmen…
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an apology to Homo narrans. I used the wrong term – racist instead of religious discrimination and i apologise.
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@hexhunter, and anyone else interested, read this
( http://www.resonancepub.com/feynmann.htm )
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It’s what really got nano started, all the waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the swinging 60’s.
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Now, to banish any further blasphemey on my part, noodely noodely Rigatone, Penne, Carbonara, Ziti, Alfredo, Lasagne, pasta, Bolognese, Canneloni, Macroni, Ramen, Parmesan, Pirate, Yarr, Arr, Yo Ho, Bottle of Rum, Grog, Wenches, Ship, Galleon, Loot, Plunder, Carribean, Parrot, Pieces of Eight, Buccaneer, Rogue, Swashbuckle, Cutlass, More Wenches, Barrel, Cannon, Grapeshot, Monkey,
FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER
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There… I feel clean again.
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Sigh… I miss Penne. One of the greats, but hasn’t posted in a long time… Where are you, Penne?
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Mmmm… we have lost some great posters over our time :(
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Anyone remember Starbuckaneer? OEJ (He may just have re-named himself… not too sure)? Christian (he actually was a credit to his faith)?
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Or the uber poster himself, the venerable J.
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Now we’ve lost Nikkiee too. It’s just not fair… *sigh*
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I’ve been on these boards since late August 06, and it’s changed so much already. We used to get an equal mix of the fire and brimstone types, and the actual serious conversationalists.
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Now, we just get tedious trollers.
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Ahhhh the world’s f**ked.
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Jingles
The nihilist with bells on.
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I remeber all those people and more. And you’re right, things WERE a lot more fun when there were actual fundies around. You can’t have a satisfying argument with trolls!
Ah well. The eternal optimist in me insists things’ll pick up. Soon. I hope.
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Yes, what happened to Starbuckaneer? There were lots of really bright people who have stopped posting. Perhaps it is because of all the trolls that have shown up in the past couple of months. I remember, Gill, you having a very good conversation with nic the fundie. That was informative and on a very high level. There is nobody that likes a fun, clever conversation more than me, but these last few weeks have been dismal — TLM, and now this dreadful Thumper, plus a handful of other yuckos. At least TLM had an excuse. He’s only 17.
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It’s true, things were more fun with the fuddies.
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Can I just say something about the global warming thing. Sorry, it might be a bit long for one of mine :)
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Those people who criticise the theory and us for accepting that it could be true.
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Do you thing that we will believe something just because it’s been on the tv? Most of us here wouldn’t believe that birds can fly unless we saw them actually flying!
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Do you criticise the theory through a love of oil? Oil is a finite material and will run out! Maybe not in our times but it will run out. Those of us yet to come? Stuff them eh!
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Look what our love of oil and gas has done. The invasion of Kuwait? The Suez Crisis almost led to nuclear war. With USSR threatening first use of nuclear weapons on London and Paris!
Look what’s happening now with the Russian gas pipeline!
Not to mention the ecological disasters. The firing of the oilfields in the Gulf, the Exxon Valdez, the Sea Empress.
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I wonder if our ancestors had the same problems with sewerage. It took cholera and typhoid pandemics to make us realise that tipping our shit (lit.) onto the street and into our drinking water for us to come up with that idea.
The fact that the Romans had realised it thousands of years previously should have given us a heads up!
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Not even dogs foul their own bed!
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We really are a disgusting, selfish species!
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The Gaia hypothesis compares the Earth to a giant organism. A we the organisms means of reproduction, by eventual space colonisation?
Or are we a virus, a parasite and H5N1 is Gaia’s immune response?
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Rant over. Normal service will be resumed soon!
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@Jingles Jan 24th, 2007 at 8:10 am
“Mmmm… we have lost some great posters over our time :(
Anyone remember Starbuckaneer? OEJ (He may just have re-named himself… not too sure)? Christian (he actually was a credit to his faith)?”
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Maybe due to some of the newer converts who gatecrash vugarly into conversations without having read prior posts?
RAmen
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Ahoy me hearties..
this global warming may be a sign of FSMs noodly love for us, the more appendages he hugs us with the more we warm up, the ice melts and there will be more oceans, ultimately leading to…. more pirates! maybe he moves in mysterious, (well drunken and encumbered by strippers…) ways…
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may your noodles never stick to the pan.
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@Observer – was that @ me?
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Kieran is living proof of why “Brights” is a less-than-ideal name for us nonbelievers.
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@Observer You tell them Wench Observer. You go girl. Tell them again why you changed your name and still think everybody knows what you are talking about..
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@Alchemist That wasn’t directed at you. I will tell you why there haven’t been any fundies to argue with lately though. It is because there haven’t been any fundies to argue with lately. The true fundies that come here don’t come because they want to be a part of whatever group you people have here. They come to argue there point. Anybody here that thinks that anybody else here has something to do with a lack of fundies lately really should reevaluate their own life. And get over themselves. How insecure some are is pretty pathetic (that is directed at observer). Sooner or later a fundie will show up. They can’t help themselves. Now will all you kids stop bickering with each other. And say something entertaining. These potshots at each other are boring us innocent bystanders.
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@Alchemist
Good speech, well made!
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@Jingles
Thank you, I forgot the obvious issue of power. Oops! And, thanks for picking up on the nano/micro difference. I agree. Should have been more clear myself. But nano motors! cool (okay, nano sized parts).
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@hex.
Can’t scan the brain. We aren’t close to understanding it. Also, due to the amount of electric activity happening in, and required by the brain, a thorough dissection would kill ya before they could get the information they needed. Don’t quote me on the medical side, but I know a thing or two on EM interference.
I DO understand the point you are making, but nano-nothing will help in the way’s you have been hoping. That said, there is a variant on the transistor tech that is interesting
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/02/01/transistor_replacement/
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Please stop using the term ‘Moore’s Law’ it is actually meaningless twoddle as a law, merely an interesting observation on the complexity of wafers.
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@Navi Spider
Yay! Someone speaking sense.
Yarr!
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@Innocent Bystander. It is starting to get beyond a joke. I don’t know who I’m talking to anymore. It bodes, as Gaspode the Wonder Dog would say :)
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I’m seriously thinking about jumping ship. It’ll upset me, truly! I like this place, I agree with the sentiments, I like the people, the humour and the fact that I’ve learned a hell of a lot.
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I’ve not given up yet. I might try the discussion forums, but then I can’t make gross jokes or join in with global conspiracies :(
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Perhaps you should think about doing a little research before you start spouting ‘facts’ about subjects on which you have no knowledge. Rastafarianism was not “started by a Jamaican man named Rastafari”. Rastafarianism is the worship of Haile Selassi as God Incarnate and as the Black Messiah who will lead the peoples of Africa and the African diaspora to freedom. His birth name was Tafari Makonnen. ‘Ras’ is one of the most powerful non-imperial ranks in Ethiopia, hence the combination of Ras and Tafari to create the name Rastafari. Selassi was an Ethiopian emperor, not a Jamaican. The movement of Rastafarianism was started by Jamiacans, and Selassi had no involvement, other than being the subject of worship. For someone who is so fond of refuting what others have to say, you certainly don’t come across as being particularly well-informed yourself.
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I forgot to mention – this whole Flying Spaghetti Monster thing is new to me, but I’m already a big fan. Fortunately, I already have pirate gear, and an appropiately styled beard to match.
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good for you Steve.
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@ Steve: Meh… I just go with what I’ve heard. -Shrugs.- I could care less about religion, to tell the truth. I’ve been shown that God really doesn’t like me for some reason. Must be why he cursed me with this damnable condition…
Haven’t been on lately to read through the stuff going on. Got about half way, skipped to the last part. Anyhow… in response to the earlier question as to whom I was masquerading as…
A moron. -Nods.- Did I do good? Can I have a cookie? -Laughs heartily.-
Also… I do have full pirate garb in my closet somewhere… Perhaps I should dig it out and dust it off?
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Ha! Welcome to the show Steve. Yar!
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Just to bring you both up to date. (K & S) this thread has gone(?) completely out of hand and off topic. This is the first post in the last couple hundred to be on topic.
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@Kieran
Before I was a little bit rude towards you (meh, you probably haven’t read it) I just want to apologise, after reading some of the posts from a certain narcissistic fool I felt I should not have pointed anger at you but saved it for more deserving persons.
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Welcome back, and although you believe this is twoddle, do you believe it is as logical as ID?
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RAmen
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