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spreading the Word in Iraq

Published December 23rd, 2006 by Bobby Henderson
Oh, wise prophet,
I, James of the family Duck would like to enlighten you of the plight faced by the soldiers, civilians, Iraqis and pirates in his noodly appendages cradle of civilization.  Currently the United States Army provides a vast and diverse Chaplains Corp to fulfill the spiritual needs of its hard pressed soldiers.  However at the more remote sites, the Chaplains visit when they can about once a month and distribute literature and religious supplements like crosses, Korans and rosaries.
Unfortunately there are no Pastafarian Chaplains for those touched by His Greatness.  We believe that His Noodlyness deserves equal time along side those theories that harness the power of the printed letter and printer ink.  Even without resources one lone Pastafarian has spread the word to the willing and now over 10% ( 3.27 people) of our installation have been touched.  The local Pastafarians lack the proper eye-patches, swords, hook hands and frilly pirate clothes to properly speak to others who may also seek the truth in these ancient lands.  I propose that if we had official looking papers with letters on them bound into a 192 page “Gospel” to stack proudly next to our mountain of more commonly available books more passers by (which we get quite a lot) could take interest in the Truth that is Flying Spaghetti Monster.
We where wondering, oh wise one, if you could help us out in our plight to spread the word by sending eye patches, hook hands and if possible big pirate hats and a number of copies of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster .  We here do not have the expendable resources to print out pamphlets, posters or charts showing how global warming is afflicting the pirate population and feel a couple copies of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will enforce equal time.
Thank You for listening to our plea,
SPC Duck, James and fellow Pastafarians

P.S.  If you would like to help us out please email me back so I can give you our address.  We really want to take pictures of us in Iraq with FSM propaganda and we think the Iraqi Army guys here with us would love it too!  We also think that a picture of an American and an Iraqi coming together under His Noodly Appendage would be a great message of world peace.  Of course we will try our best not to just jump one of the Iraqi Army guys here and snap a shot off, we will do our best to inform him so he is totally aware of the decision he is making to put his face on the Internet and what it is for. These guys risk their lives just working here.

P.P.S. Also I saw a US civilian contractor with a “Do you believe?” shirt on a month or two back.  Did not get to talk to her, but let it be known the truth is out there.  Even if nothing comes of all this, THANK YOU for providing us with such awesome entertainment.  I does get people thinking.


36 Responses to “spreading the Word in Iraq”

  1. Alchemist says:

    @DutchPastaGuy – you said the evil word (quantum) run away, run away. I still shiver when I recall QCD and PW Atkins. I’m one of the mathematical illiterate – I can suffer basic calculus but no more.
    .
    What you said about AIDS, plague and peace. A noble statement and I’ll join you in it. Unfortunately a good number of people seem to relish these things. The age of reason has gone!

  2. Alchemist says:

    oops, didn’t read the end of your post (as usual). Sorry.
    Still stands though. It’s a crying shame that scientific research is so dependent upon grants from business.
    I was once sponsored by ICI (Zeneca) – All I managed was the null hypothesis :)

  3. Archbishop Gnocchi says:

    The only question is, will the Shiite and Sunni Muslims join opposite sects of the Church?

  4. L'TUAE_42 says:

    ‘K, it’s been a couple of days, has SPC Duck decided which propoganda he wants and how we can send it to him? I also advise using someone’s site as middle ground for this. I will send stuff, I just need to know how. Duck, could you please say which of the posters and phamphlets you prefer? Colorful or wordy? Both?
    Oh! Hey! Is there some sort of army thing we can send the stuff to, and they’ll pass it on?

  5. L'TUAE_42 says:

    SP5 R Kowalski
    1st Signal Btn
    44th Sig Bde
    Long Binh, RVN 1971-1972
    Is that the Duckman’s adress or someone else’s?

  6. Wench Nikky says:

    @L’TUAE_42
    “Is that the Duckman’s adress or someone else’s?”
    .
    Not Duckman’s. It belongs to:
    The Naughty Oarsman Dec 24th, 2006 at 10:43 am
    Back up this page

  7. L'TUAE_42 says:

    Ok, sorry, my chocolate high is leaving me slightly disoriented.

  8. Wench Nikky says:

    hahaha…..I, myself have 4 or 5 boxes of those in the fridge unopened. Will make an effort to start on them sometime. I think I am still digesting yesterdays lunch (and drinks!) and may be doing so for a few days yet!

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