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spreading the Word in Iraq

Published December 23rd, 2006 by Bobby Henderson
Oh, wise prophet,
I, James of the family Duck would like to enlighten you of the plight faced by the soldiers, civilians, Iraqis and pirates in his noodly appendages cradle of civilization.  Currently the United States Army provides a vast and diverse Chaplains Corp to fulfill the spiritual needs of its hard pressed soldiers.  However at the more remote sites, the Chaplains visit when they can about once a month and distribute literature and religious supplements like crosses, Korans and rosaries.
Unfortunately there are no Pastafarian Chaplains for those touched by His Greatness.  We believe that His Noodlyness deserves equal time along side those theories that harness the power of the printed letter and printer ink.  Even without resources one lone Pastafarian has spread the word to the willing and now over 10% ( 3.27 people) of our installation have been touched.  The local Pastafarians lack the proper eye-patches, swords, hook hands and frilly pirate clothes to properly speak to others who may also seek the truth in these ancient lands.  I propose that if we had official looking papers with letters on them bound into a 192 page “Gospel” to stack proudly next to our mountain of more commonly available books more passers by (which we get quite a lot) could take interest in the Truth that is Flying Spaghetti Monster.
We where wondering, oh wise one, if you could help us out in our plight to spread the word by sending eye patches, hook hands and if possible big pirate hats and a number of copies of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster .  We here do not have the expendable resources to print out pamphlets, posters or charts showing how global warming is afflicting the pirate population and feel a couple copies of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will enforce equal time.
Thank You for listening to our plea,
SPC Duck, James and fellow Pastafarians

P.S.  If you would like to help us out please email me back so I can give you our address.  We really want to take pictures of us in Iraq with FSM propaganda and we think the Iraqi Army guys here with us would love it too!  We also think that a picture of an American and an Iraqi coming together under His Noodly Appendage would be a great message of world peace.  Of course we will try our best not to just jump one of the Iraqi Army guys here and snap a shot off, we will do our best to inform him so he is totally aware of the decision he is making to put his face on the Internet and what it is for. These guys risk their lives just working here.

P.P.S. Also I saw a US civilian contractor with a “Do you believe?” shirt on a month or two back.  Did not get to talk to her, but let it be known the truth is out there.  Even if nothing comes of all this, THANK YOU for providing us with such awesome entertainment.  I does get people thinking.


36 Responses to “spreading the Word in Iraq”

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  1. Wench Nikky says:

    “We were wondering, oh wise one, if you could help us out in our plight to spread the word by sending eye patches, hook hands and if possible big pirate hats and a number of copies of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster .”
    .
    SPC Duck, James and fellow Pastafarians, so good to hear His Noodley message has reached , and is being spread in Iraq. I personally think the CoFSM should get behind you guys and help you out.
    I as yet don’t have a copy of the Holy Gospel of FSM, otherwise I would be only to glad to send it.
    As for the other items requested, I will surely look around and see if I can’t procure some for you.
    Keep the Faith and enjoy Holiday as best you can in the meantime
    RAmen

  2. L'TUAE_42 says:

    It is truly wonderous that the word is being spread over there, but please don’t get yourselves shot or blown up. This activity is sure to increase your risk factor. That being said, I have an eyepatch I could send, but I need to know how. I could also print off some propoganda, posters and graphs and such.

  3. Duckman says:

    This is SPC Duck here. I am surprised to see me up on the front page and now I have to find a way to control the potential wave of packages while trying my best not to have my address posted all over the internet…

    Also L’TUAE_42 and Wench Nikky thanks for the offer, smaller brochures and handheld things of that matter would be put to better use over a ton of huge posters. I cannot just go around bases gluing up whatever i feel like, but I CAN leave pamphlets and extra copies of the gospel in the various libraries, MWR centers and waiting/day rooms we pass on our trips to other bases. Things I can shove in a pocket and leave on the waiting room coffee tables and take pics when no-one is looking.

    To sum it up, I do not need boxes and boxes of stuff. Maybe a couple eye patches/hookhands for the guys here to have fun with and a good number of smaller propaganda pieces to distribute when i infrequently leave my small post.

    idea…eye patches in every book/brochure as a bookmark….

  4. Wench Nikky says:

    “Of course we will try our best not to just jump one of the Iraqi Army guys here and snap a shot off, we will do our best to inform him so he is totally aware of the decision he is making to put his face on the Internet and what it is for. These guys risk their lives just working here.”
    .
    I agree with L’TUAE_42
    Might be wise to use some anonymous ‘black bar’ (or dark sunglasses ect.) techniques there. Remember that many of the…err… more religious, suffer from Humour Deficit Disorder. (HDD)
    RAmen

  5. Wench Nikky says:

    Duckman Dec 23rd, 2006 at 7:43 pm
    ‘while trying my best not to have my address posted all over the internet…’
    .
    Good idea. No doubt a trusted intermediary address would be a good?
    As to my comment: “Remember that many of the…err… more religious, suffer from Humour Deficit Disorder. (HDD)”
    I am sure you are well aware (more so than any of us) of that. Just wouldn’t like to see any of our Pastafarians in trouble.
    RAmen

  6. Wench Nikky says:

    @Duckman
    Have you looked at the brochures on the Materials page to see what you most fancy.
    There is a heap (and I mean a whole heap) of great stuff there. Sizes given as well.
    I know from my own forays into conversion excursions that the brochures rock. Smaller graphics there too. Check it out if you haven’t already done so.
    http://www.venganza.org/materials/

  7. Wench Nikky says:

    @Duckman
    Have you looked at the brochures ect on the Materials page to see what you most fancy.
    There is a heap (and I mean a whole heap) of great stuff there. Sizes given as well.
    I know from my own forays into conversion excursions that the brochures rock. Smaller graphics there too. Check it out if you haven’t already done so.
    http://www.venganza.org/materials/

  8. Wench Nikky says:

    How the hell did I do that? Repeat post???

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