I am a very loyal follower to the FSM and a very peaceful pastafarian. However, something has made me quite upset lately. I was telling my classmates about Him and all of His wonderful doings while of course while wearing my eye patch and a pirates jacket. You know the basics. I was doing this because of my religious beliefs, as that’s what the FSM wishes we do. You know of course that pirate garb is not an option. I was just about done when my teacher calls from her desk if my eye patch is a medical thing. I, being loyal stated that it was for my religious beliefs and it’s not an option for me. She again tells me to take it off and I again explain it to her. Then she says if I refuse once more then she would send me to the principles office. I was enraged! The school policy says that the school can’t do anything about religious beliefs or go between them. I couldn’t go to the principles office because he would call my mom and explain it. She hates Pastafarians like me. Instead of speaking out against my teacher, I grabbed my gospel of the FSM and went over and showed her how this is actually true. She took it as a joke and took my eye patch. That is the same as taking a Christians cross.

This needs to be addressed. People are unaware that we are a serious religion and take it as a joke.

I am asking you to help me get FSMism recognized in my Middle school. I don’t necessarily need a class, although that would be nice. Maybe just a FSM awareness lecture. -Jeffrey

I suggest a well-reasoned letter to the teacher, principal, superintendent, and your local ACLU. Explain that it’s not your intention to make a scene, only to carry out your constitutionally-guaranteed religious rights in a non-disruptive manner. Perhaps suggest that other religious tokens be banned as well, Christian crosses, Jewish yarmulkes, etc.