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Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution

Published December 5th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

The satirical news magazine The Onion has a new article out on the Kansas Intelligent Design / Evolution issue:  Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution.

In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.

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Link to article.



133 Responses to “Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution”

  1. Rat says:

    Sounds like The Chrystalids.

    All Kansans with six toes better start running!

  2. Ghost of Wench Nikkiee says:

    Isn’t that the norm?

  3. RealGrouchy says:

    I think the time is nigh for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to advocate mandatory abortions, and I think it would be perfectly in line with the original mission of the Church. Besides, the evolution-ID debate has more or less died down, and the Church needs something to bring in some more followers.

    With this new position, a woman who finds herself unintentionally pregnant can hear from both sides of the issue: people who want her to not get an abortion no matter her individual circumstances, and people who want her get an abortion no matter her individual circumstances.

    It’s all about evening out the debate, and ensuring all sides are heard.

    - RG>

  4. Shadowy Jack says:

    Hehehe… I misread the headline as “Kansas Outlaws Practice Evolution!”

    When Evolution is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will Evolve!

  5. Cat says:

    @ daqq, I was thinking more of America, and the different ways in which Christian and Muslim fundamentalists are portrayed – Christians are good religious folk, and Muslims are evil.

    @ lab_rat – you are one mental step from eugenics!!!

    @Jon E, very wierd scientists! How can you reconcile going to work, using science, reason and logic to play with thermodynamics, and then go home and and suddenly proof means nothing? And they should just stay out of science education if they are biased! You have to declare competing interests to play with science, surely the fact that you are religious should be declared?

    Maybe the rest of us will evolve away from the non-evolvees in Kansas and we will become seperate species!

  6. Gnocci Man says:

    @Cat
    Remember, it’s mostly our government. Man, I hate Bush. It’s only so long until he passes a law disallowing all but one religion. wanna guess which?
    It’s like a horrible foreign policy, blatant lying to everyone, breaking our own constitution, seemingly looking for the least environmentally-friendly options, and being an all-around a**h*** just isn’t enough for him.
    only–2–more–years. must–survive–
    RAmen

  7. Wench Nikkiee says:

    You think they might put a big fence around Kansas for protection? Might help protect outsiders from Kansan DNA as well.
    RAmen

  8. daqq says:

    @Cat: Well. Statistically you dont get too many christians blowing them selfs up for a fantasy being. But I’m actually an atheist (well, pastafarian ;-) )
    In slovakia you have lots of the roman catholic loonies, trying to influence where they can. If those asses were in charge, we’d to stop doing evolution…

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