FSM is a horrible idea

Published December 4th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,
TheLaughingMan



550 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

  1. Bearded Clam Admirer says:

    Arrr…
    .
    The opposite of FSM is the antepasto
    .
    RAmen

  2. prozac says:

    prozac…

    viinoliy guuw…

  3. Wench Nikkiee says:

    Fear the Antepasto :(
    RAmen

  4. Xela267 says:

    This hate mail is not only useless, it’s incorrect. Spaghetti is made up of noodles, which aren’t just Italian. There’s a thing called East Asia, look it up.

  5. Enya says:

    Yes I guess the Chinese had Noodles about 4 or 5,000 years ago…??? When I’m not mistaken.

  6. Enya says:

    And it’s Antipasti… like Antichrist ;)

  7. Jean Bart says:

    @Grebbo Mar 27th, 2007 at 7:51 am “To all of you: with all respect due, haven’t it occurred to you, that the Prophet might be withhelding part of the Revelation? I bet he has a reason to do it, but I think that the cult is already mature enough to face the unpleasant truth as well. Like there is day and night, light and darkness, virtue and sin, ice-cream and espresso, there must be FSM and… ??? There must be a reason for Noodles manifesting as late as 2000 years ago (if I remember well), and then in one place only, and there must be a potent Power behind all those evil attacks on the Truth.”
    .
    RTFM, oops sorry, wrong site. No, seriously, matey, read the Gospel… And if you don’t find any nearby, have a look at the FAQ on venganza’s forum!
    .
    On the other hand, following a Prophet who might be witholding part of the Revelation makes it even more exciting: it gives way to the Pastafarians’ creativity. Look around here, check the brazillions of comments on thy -almost- brazillions of topics: you’ll find plenty of material worth to fill in whatever parts the Prophet might have witheld.
    RAmen!

  8. Capekicks says:

    Many nationalities and ethnic groups do great things with Pasta. I’m Polish American and grew up eating pirogies. Of coarse there’s always that great All American dish Spaghetti-O’s.
    But I think everyone will agree that Italian’s created their own special Pasta Art form.
    Many kitchens in Italy have felt the touch of His noodley appendage.
    I am going to ponder this a bit more whle enjoying a delicious serving of lasagna .
    AAArrgghh!

    • Thestranger says:

      In fact, a special tree in Australia can be made into a spaghetti like form if you cut its bark into strips and boil them. And let’s not forget about china and Japan’s ramen. So remember, before you go hating on the Italians, many other ethnic groups had spaghetti BEFORE the Italians.

Leave a Reply