FSM is a horrible idea

Published December 4th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,
TheLaughingMan



550 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

  1. Lolli Popoff says:

    Fred, you know what really pisses the fuck out of me?
    People that think using the word Fuck is appropriate!
    It just sounds so fucking childish.

  2. sprite says:

    ill admit the fsm approach to intelligent design isnt very well thought through. but then again the fsm in all its noodly wisdom chose to reveal itself only recently so we havent had time to patch up all the holes with bulls**t contradictive explanations yet

  3. Shadow West says:

    Noodles are made in China. Just to point out it out so really the religion would be bias to the Chinese. Just thought you all should know.

    Oh and can no one take a joke? My god(who at the moment is undefined).

  4. Pharma David says:

    Medicine for peace certainly has a chance for success, but I think many of the Islamic countries will be more than glad to take our medicine while continuing on their Jihad at the same time. I am skeptical, but hopeful. WBR LeoP

  5. Wormboy says:

    Actually, as with other religions, different cultures display their deity in different ways. It’s true that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is Eurocentric, specifically the province of a boot shaped country on the Mediterranean. But if you look in Southeast Asia, for example, the FSM is historically pictured as a mass of rice noodles with two Won Tons. So you can see that it’s not Eurocentric at all. It’s just that this website is produced by somebody of European descent.

  6. capekiicks says:

    I like the line biased towards Italians. Its very Pastafarian. Some people think the idea of a Flying Spagetti Monster God is ridiculous. Not me of course. But this guy came up with a line thats even sillier. I toast you with a Grog for this achievement. I guess the noodly apendege must be reaching out for you. Yo will soon be in the fold. One more Italian dinner should do it..

  7. viagra says:

    viagra…

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  8. Grebbo says:

    WOW! this really starts looking like a full-blown religion. One dumm comment triggering such a massive militant response. You really DO care, guys, don’t you?

    Ok, I might be doing the same, if I was American. That Kansas Board phenomenon is a shame, and it clearly indicates that the education level in the USA is miserably low. I wouldn’t blame it on Bush’s engagement in Iraq, though. The Board members have been subjected to education long before anybody in America could spell ‘Irak’ properly.

    Back to the main topic, though. I am a non-believer, but I can contribute:

    sprite admits: “fsm approach to intelligent design is not very well thought through.”
    It doesn’t have to. It’s not a philosophy, it’s a religion, a Revelation. Whatever the Prophet says, is TRVTH. And you are lucky enough to have him available at your fingertips, you can ask questions, and get TRUE answers. Beware of thinking, though, and eliminate false followers, pretending Belief. They just give you all a bad name, make you look like a bunch of sceptics. Repent, sprite.

    To all of you: with all respect due, haven’t it occurred to you, that the Prophet might be withhelding part of the Revelation? I bet he has a reason to do it, but I think that the cult is already mature enough to face the unpleasant truth as well. Like there is day and night, light and darkness, virtue and sin, ice-cream and espresso, there must be FSM and… ??? There must be a reason for Noodles manifesting as late as 2000 years ago (if I remember well), and then in one place only, and there must be a potent Power behind all those evil attacks on the Truth. Salt-free Organic Salad? Diet Coke in plastic bottle? I don’t know, but surely starch-rich FSM is not fuly responsible for existence of such demons as Aspartame.

    And there must be Something causing my browser to hang for 10 seconds every time I try to scroll the page. Like… couldn’t you try and make it a bit more orthodox? Imagine a pot full of one loooong noodle. It’s unmanageable. I hope the Prophet can hear me.

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