FSM is a horrible idea

Published December 4th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,
TheLaughingMan



550 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

  1. Fez says:

    I am sick of listening to religious retards and their hate of Pastafarianism. Firstly I think that it makes alot more sense than the idea of God and a guy in a nappy called Jesus wandering round healing people. Secondly the idea of Jesus is laughable as no-one can come back from the dead. He was stabbed repeatedly and nailed to a cross on a hill at a time when there was no real health care and some how this ‘messiah’ returned from the grave. I dont go on christian websites and leave comments about me not believing this crap. Dont try to force your religious ideas upon us you complaining sack of crap.

  2. shakazulu says:

    @ fez

    definately didnt see anyone complaining. except you of course

  3. Baal the Rabbit says:

    shakazulu You are an asshole.

  4. Capn'EmilyRose'Skittle says:

    @Shakazulu
    The hatemailer, perhaps..? The rest of the FSM non-believers who post here, maybe..?
    o-o;
    RAmen.

  5. Fez says:

    @Shakazulu
    Anyone who writes hate mail for no reason is a complainer. I am simply expressing my disgust at those who do complain at a religion. As i said i do not leave complaints on other religious websites and find it morally disgusting that anyone does complain to a religion that they do not belong to or believe in so stop being a prick and do not leave any comments without getting your facts straight.

  6. Johny V. Ravin says:

    Hey, Atheist. Stop putting down religions you don’t believe in. If you truly didn’t believe in a religion, you wouldn’t have searched the net to find this site. And saying that we’re biased to a small European minority is like saying God is biased to Jews. And even the Jews have been known to pillage and kill others in the past.

    But you don’t care. Your a wannabe-atheist. You wouldn’t be looking for religion if you were a true atheist. Now bugger off.

  7. Sushi Squisher says:

    Whaa? Biased towards Italians? You seem to not know that the Chinese actually created the first edible, man-made image of Our Creator. The Italians created pasta, not spaghetti. ^_^
    And about the “pirates-killing-people” thing, even though pirates follow the FSM, they did not kill, rape, plunder, or pillage in his name. They did all that ‘cus they felt like it.

    P.S. Dude, get a sense of humor. I mean, come on.

  8. Fred says:

    You know what really pisses the fuck out of me?
    People hate F.S.M (notice the capitills we spell so called “God” with capitills so spell F.S.M. with them)so much. It won’t harm you it won’t affect you so why hate it you assholes?
    It’s a great way to show how fucked up “God” is and really fucked up people who belive in it are. We have freedome of speech, writing , and religion.
    RELIGION!!! We don’t have to belive in “God” and moses and all that crap.
    We can belive in whatever.
    Also I recomend people to see Jesus Camp.
    It show some really fucked up people- kids- who want everyone to be like them.
    RAmen

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