FSM is a horrible idea

Published December 4th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,
TheLaughingMan



550 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

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  1. Peter Popoff says:

    Teh Pirate Fish Jan 7th, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    That it is. I wonder if I got arrested, would they make me swear opon the Gospel? That would make more sense than the Bible (another religous practice that makes me mad)
    .
    Thats a good question, right now there is much debate about this in the States.
    I think if I’m ever asked I’ll tell them that my mother taught me to never swear, and I don’t think I should go against my mothers wishes, and I’m pretty sure god wouldn’t want me to either!

  2. Teh Pirate Fish says:

    That would be the most awesome thing ever “I’m sorry mister judge, I’m not allowed to swear.”

  3. Flipper, the Pirates' best friend says:

    This dude needs to pick up a Bible for himself, and then untwist his panties. There’s no need to lecture on being politically correct if you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Oh, and by the way- it was the CHINESE who invented pasta; Marco Polo brought it back to Italy. I think this site’s brilliant.

  4. Wench Nikky says:

    Flipper
    Hi Flipper :) Everyone loves Flipper coz he/she is a very Noodley fish. (sort of a fish!)
    Welcome & RAmen

  5. Cholo says:

    why is evolution a “theory?” and not a fact?

    give me the short answer version. I don’t like reading the overflow of someone’s so called “intelligent intel” gathered from many bias books and authors as opposed to actual hands on scientific research.

    Why then, is the concept of creator PROVEABLE through mathematics?

    has anyone heard about this? please comment. remember. keep it short.

    I give you the limit of 3 non-fragmented sentences per topic.

  6. Peter Popoff says:

    why is evolution a “theory?” and not a fact?

    give me the short answer version.’
    .
    Buy a book? Was that short enough?

  7. Wench Nikky says:

    @Cholo
    A theory is a widely encompassing overall explaination, of how a number observations fit into the overall scheme of observed natural phenomena. You don’t prove a theory, but you may disprove it by produciing evidence that directly contradicts the theory. No such evidence has ever been produced over the past ~165yrs which contradicts the Theory of Evolution and much has been observed/gathered which supports it , resulting in it being consisered fact.
    .
    ps If your referring to the mathematics I think you are (German magazine), best you do a little more research as to the integrety of those figures.
    The Talkorigins website discusses this in detail (NB Note the plageurized site version “True Origins” set up to con creationists and unaware others)
    Can’t find to specific link at present. Do your own search. But that mathematical probability has been well and truely discredited.
    RAmen

  8. Coleoptera says:

    @Cholo
    “why is evolution a “theory?” and not a fact?”
    -
    There is also a “theory” of gravity. The strength of a theory is derived from its supporting evidence and its explanatory power. Like the theory of gravity, evolution has overwhelming supporting evidence and explanatory power.
    -
    “Why then, is the concept of creator PROVEABLE through mathematics?”
    -
    The short answer is that the concept of a creator cannot be proved mathematically.
    -
    “I don’t like reading the overflow of someone’s so called “intelligent intel” gathered from many bias books and authors as opposed to actual hands on scientific research.”
    -
    Neither do I. So, until you have some “hands on” scientific research to support your position perhaps you should stop posting.

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