FSM is a horrible idea

Published December 4th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,
TheLaughingMan



550 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

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  1. Comatose says:

    @Gnocci Man

    Mmm Delicious Italian Noodley Goodness! *drools all over*

  2. Pixel Pete says:

    The pirates that pillage and rape and murder obviously aren’t Pirates, you foolish laughing man. Pirates and pirates are completely different things.
    And I think that someone’s missing the point!!! If the FSM wanted people like you to believe in Him, then he would have made Himself a little more obvious, but for reasons unbeknownst to me, He has hidden most of the evidence, leaving only small “nuggets” of evidence, if you will endulge me, for smart and capable minds like us Pastafarians. Therefore, we can determine that it is probable that the FSM is trying to determine who on this planet Terra is smart(me), and who is one hell of a dull crayon(you).
    ☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺

  3. L'TUAE_42 says:

    Where to start? Okay, 1st of all, I also am an athiest. No, pastafarian dammit, no athiest arrggg..
    Okay. Listen up. It’s SATIRE. I seriously doubt anyone here REALLY believes this, but you have to act like it or the whole thing doesn’t work. Plus, it’s FUN. You obviously have no sense of humor. May his Noodly Appendage touch you.
    RAmen

  4. Paladinius says:

    You people..For one, Pasta really isn’t Italian, it is just made famous by them. It was the Chinese who made pasta and noodles. Another thing is, who’d be surpised to find out who believes this L’TUAE_42. But please guys, just stop this stupid farce and save yourselvew the trouble of typing before me and a friend( who will remain unnamed) has to restart the Spanish Inquistion and get rid of some Pastafarians(maybe a certain Aethist too). But come on, if the FSM really is good, wouldn’t he give good ol’ Doctor Zoidberg some pasta?

    No Worries Mon, We be Jammin’…

  5. L'TUAE_42 says:

    @ Pladinius- Okay, for one thing, that sentence makes no sense “Another thing is, who’d be surpised to find out who believes this L’TUAE_42″
    What does that mean.
    And like you could ever get rid of us. We have millions, if not thousands of converts.

  6. Booty says:

    @ Paladinius
    The Spanish Inquisition implies that you will be asking questions, and I really don’t think you are up to it.

  7. Branded Cow says:

    @Paladinius: Like L’TUAE_42 said there are millions of us, and spread all over the globe. An inquisition is impractical, and there is no real point. Someone will conjure another diety to replace this satire, or we will spread to more understanding religions like Buda and Norse. However I am sure there are some freaks out there that cannot distinguish the reallity from the satire.

  8. Branded Cow says:

    What harm can be done by people actually believing in the FSM. It is promoted as a non-violent religion. The only harm I can see is from some Christain claiming an inqusition or Muslim claiming Jihad.

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