FSM is a horrible idea

Published December 4th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,
TheLaughingMan



550 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

  1. Jimmy Buffet says:

    Pirates are my friends and global warming is a direct response from the decline in their population, or at least thats what they always tell me. rock on fsm

    p.s fsm is with me in magentavile getting wasted with me

  2. One Oared Marc says:

    Oh My FSM. This is just hysterically funny.
    “Don’t you find that a little biased towards Italians. I don’t appreciate your bias.”
    This has to be a classic — not as good as assclowns and oars, but still good. And we wonder why a third of the American public are evangelicals. It is because they can’t grasp the simplest of ideas and therefore must credit every blob that goes bump in the night to the workings of a higher being.

  3. Gnocci Man says:

    @TheLaughingMan
    “A smart man sees the contradictions, solves the problems, and finds the answers.
    A stupid man doesn’t get the joke.”

  4. MiseEnAbime says:

    @erik our spaghetti are not ” all fancy and spiced up, usually filled with exotic meats and vegetables”.

    to properly celebrate a flying spaghetti monster consider to cook spaghetti in a more simpler fashion.

  5. Branded Cow says:

    TheLaughingMan does point out the contradiction that pirates are historicly murderers and rapist and we claim that we are peaceful. Well, its not a religion without some sort of contradiction is it? Speaking of contradictions TheLaughingMan notes Mr. Henderson’s “wildly imaginative ideas” and then says he is “not even creative”.

  6. Lee Bruns says:

    I only wish Mr. Henderson posted their email addresses so that we could be sure they are reading the replies.

  7. Comatose says:

    Wow, this just shows what ignorance can do to a bored idiot.
    -What I got out of the letter-

    *mockingly* “Oh yeah! I’m going to go write an angry letter to a pasta-based religious organization and make myself feel better for not having been touched by his noodley appendage! I’ll look SO Smart!!! Oh! And I got it!!! I’ll add that I don’t believe in god so they can’t make fun of me anymore because; *sniff* I was so offended!…*sob sob sob*”

    It’s just pitiful what people have to do to get a little attention, especially to be naive enough to say that because a food with an Italian name, resembles our god (and is totally delicious), that we’re biased against Italians, I’m just about full blooded Italian, I don’t feel offended at all that our dear FSM looks like a delicious plate of noodles (I should stop saying noodles I’m getting hungry). Anyway, my point being… why don’t these people just mind their own business instead of wasting their time writing stupid sounding letters.
    PS- Pirates are the sexiest men alive! who cares if they raped people? FSM doesn’t! – RAmen!

  8. Brother Boyardee says:

    Dear Laugh,
    .
    You imply that Prophet Bobby chose to create The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Of course you have it completely backward; one does not choose to create a god – THE GOD CHOOSES TO REVEAL HIMSELF. The Great Noodly One in his infinite+1 wisdom has chosen to reveal himself to Prophet Bobby and for that he is blessed and His followers, such as I, are grateful (the term ‘grateful’, of course, deriving from the latin term for ‘grated cheese’).
    .
    Mock our religion if you may, but do not imply that it is somehow less legitimate than others. Ask yourself, as an atheist, would you have sent such a letter to the Pope? Perhaps you are not as much an atheist as you claim? The fact is we have real evidence that the Flying Spaghetti Monster not only exists but is the Creator of all on earth – we even have a graph!
    .
    May His Noodly Grateness choose to reveal Himself to you some day.
    .
    Brother Boyardee

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