Get a bible…and read it throughly
Stop being stupid
God is our maker
leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
and to the comment above me, that was god hoping to help.
I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic belief.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven.
Get a bible and read it throughly
Published by Bobby Henderson December 28th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 926 Comments
926 Responses to “Get a bible and read it throughly”
Which Bible do you want me to read? The King James Bible? The Catholic Bible? The Gnostic Gospels? Huh? Why are there no Dinosaurs in the Bible? Is there a Dinsaur Bible out there that we are missing out on? Oh, please, don’t tell me to read the book of Mormon where Jesus went to the Indians, eh?
Thank you,
Chris Perkins
in God ravaged New Orleans
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Why is it that all the Bible thumpers have no clue about grammar and spelling? Just curious….
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Yes stop investigating. Stop researching biology and physics. Stop making progress in medicine, science and technology. You don’t need to read the entire bible. This is all you need to know. Now shut up.
By the word of the Lord were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of His mouth.
Psalm 33:6
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I read the bible and as far as drama goes I really prefer Tennessee Williams. The dialogue is much more crisp and the character development is very deep in all of Williams’ books. We should get together and discuss novels more often! Another slice of coffee cake?
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster made EVERYTHING… so tell this Lord character to stop taking all the credit, please.
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Dear (no name given),
“and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven”…..This always puzzles me. Why would you care enough about me to want me to repent so I can go to heaven, but call me stupid and idiotic in the same paragraph? Who made you judge and jury? Let’s get down to it. You don’t give two sh*ts about me or anyone who denies the existence of god, or who challenges your religion. You just think that your little tirade makes you look good in front of your (non-existent) god. Your holier-than-thou stink is making my nose burn. Go play in the street, too. Write back, I dare ‘ya….
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“Get a Gospel of the Flyin Spaghetti Monster…and read it throughly
Stop being stupid
FSM is our maker
leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
and to the comment above me, that was FSM hoping to help.
I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic belief of christianity.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to paradise.”
Fix’d.
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I’ll tell you what, why dont we read the Bible together. I have the perfect website that we can use as a guide to follow along with a Bible: http://www.evilbible.com
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Me likey bibles…
Don’t forget yer water…
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Kevin, *HIGH FIVE*
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RAmen to Kevin!!!!!!!!!!!
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Miracle water Peter?
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I’ve read your Bible. More than once. Have you read my Gospel?
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As for Truth? Well, I can get more wisdom from Baba Yaga and Mother Goose.
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OEJ, Ship’s Navigator
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I read some of a xtian bible once. Bit too much sado-masochism for me!
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Nikky—”I read some of a xtian bible once. Bit too much sado-masochism for me!”
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Oh, come on now, you know you lurve to give good spanking to those who deserve it. Well okay, maybe not a spanking, but dunking your niece in the pool for the water bomb certainly counts as retribution. ;)
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@ ‘trick
Nice one, evilbible.com says it all. I especially like the bit about buying the man a beer. Must be a closet Pastafarian or have Pirate blood coursing through his veins.
RAmen
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@MJK
“but dunking your niece in the pool for the water bomb certainly counts as retribution. ;)”
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hahaha
I wrote that bit wrong in that post MJK, she chose to put her own head in.
BTW There appears to be a resident YEC fundie (tag: PB) on that BBC Will and Testament site.
That page takes ages to load though. At present all the action is on:
Defending Andy McIntosh
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ni/2006/12/defending_andy_mcintosh_1.html
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Just another entertainment option if home base is a bit quiet. :)
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Read “Misquoting Jesus” by Bart Ehrman, and maybe then you may begin to realize what the Bible really is, who shaped it, and why it’s a human book all along. If God can’t preserve the words of the Bible, what are the odds that he created those words? Did he create your Bible and decide to stop caring about human error and misquotations as soon as he “created” it? Unlikely.
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Nikky—”Just another entertainment option if home base is a bit quiet. :)” prrrrr…prrrr…prrr….
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Yeah, I just noticed that Yaser bloke spamming the snot out of the Comment on the open letter thread. I was going to refer to him as a wanker for his heresy of our Church, but it appears that he is a Dawkins supporter and was just drumming up business for his blog.
MJK
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I have eaten nonflying spaghtti, very tasty.
I have also eaten the body of christ, bit bland.
Interestingly I have drunk the blood of christ, it had a very high alcohol content, I would recomend this with spaghetti.
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@ Barny, Hi
Everything tastes better with…
Jesus Christ Almighty… Mighty… Miracle water…
And I will no longer use a crayon to address the envelopes!
I’ve got a Magic Marker now…
So order today…
Ramen
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Hi Peter
I have nothing magic to mark, and crayons are tastier.
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I have a bile, and have read it thoroughly,
It is stupid.
You are stupid.
God and the bible are only related in that the bible purports to represent god.
.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can do something with the only life you have and stop with all this god crap.
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Get a The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster… and read it throughly
Stop being stupid
Flying Spaghetti Monster is our maker
leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
and to the comment above me, that was Flying Spaghetti Monster hoping to help.
I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic Christian belief.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven with a beer volcano. And a stripper factory.
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@Mad John Kidd
“prrrrr…prrrr…prrr….”
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Exactly! Already been there done that. :))
I’m onto this one now.
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“The problem with secularism”
“….The attacks on religion are becoming ever more shrill and desperate — a clear sign of atheist anxiety about the status of their own first principles and explanatory frameworks.
This atheist apprehension is well founded, as the latest developments in biology, physics and philosophy all open the door to a revivified theology and a religious metaphysics.
Darwinism is close to being completely rewritten…..”
http://richarddawkins.net/article,450,The-problem-with-secularism,Phillip-Blond-and-Adrian-Pabst-ihtcom
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Only halfway through tha comments at present, but looks like all the really good ones have already been taken. The articale is a humorous read.
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@Barny Dec 28th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
“I have nothing magic to mark, and crayons are tastier.”
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hahahaha
RAmen Barny
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Polar Bears are dying!
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“Only halfway through tha comments at present, but looks like all the really good ones have already been taken. The articale is a humorous read.”
RAmen
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Dawkins website is the best place on the net for criticisms of his book!
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Save the Polar Bears! We need more Pirates stat! Quick, print up some more pamphlets and get on to a conversion excursion, everyone!
And don’t forget to bring some of Peter’s miracle water with you!
RAmen
MJK
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I read the bible once, at least part of it. A bit confusing. Example: where did all the people come from? Spontaneous generation? or serious inbreeding?
specific ex: Abraham isa certain age, and issac is ,like, 8. Four years later, Issac is 12 and Abraham has only aged TWO years. Does god make typos? NO. Therefor, the bible is a human creation, just like god, and should not be relied on as the end all end all.
I ♥ logic.^_^
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I tried to read the bible once, but due to the author’s poor writing abilities (it sounded like one long sentence filled with ‘and then… and then… and then…’), I gave up out of sheer boredom.
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The Gospel of the FSM has much more of a readable style to it. You should read it one day. You don’t even have to read it thoroughly to get into it.
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Once you’ve read it & have tasted the true savioury delight, then I look forward to meeting you at the Beer Volcano.
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BTW: you should also read some of Dr. David Bourland Jr’s writings on E-prime (English without the verb ‘to be’). You fundamentalists seem to overuse the word ‘IS’ to the point where it tends to block most of your attempts in rational communication with others (&, ultimately, within yourself).
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Is-lessness
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@ L’TUAE_42 Dec 28th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
“I read the bible once, at least part of it. A bit confusing. Example:
where did all the people come from?”
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Supernatural be-gatting perhaps?
RAmen
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@ L’TUAE_42 Dec 28th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
“I read the bible once, at least part of it. A bit confusing. Example:
where did all the people come from?â€
.
Never question gods work!
Ramen
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FSM IS OUR CREATOR!!!!
(And My Father)
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Hi, Jesus
You say the FSM is your father?
Does that make you like a Spaghetti-o, or something?
Also, thanks because I didn’t know if the FSM was a man or a woman?
Or a man/woman for that matter?
Ramen
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I believe in and worship 9:30 , without question…. It works, believe me. Try it give it a chance, I was once despondent, depressed and gave up on religion, however I decided to give religion another chance when I drove by a church and on the sign out side it said ” worship 9:30″ I have tried it. It works…. I can worship twice a day, if I am not using millitary time. And I do not even believe in the existence of time………
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Suppose you had never heard of Christianity, and that next Sundat morning a stranger standing in a pulpit told you about a book whose authors could not be authenticated and whose contents, written thousands of years ago, included blood-curdling legends of slaughter and intrigue and fables about unnatural happenings such as virgin births, devils that inhabit human bodies and talk, people rising from the dead and ascending live into the clouds, and suns that stand still. Suppose then he asked you to believe – without one shred of evidence – that an uneducated man described in that book was in fact a god who could get you into an eternal fantasy place called heaven when you die, but you dont really die. Would you, as an intelligent rational human being even bother to read such nonsense, let alone pattern your whole life upon it? The Bible seems to be a book written by nobody knows who in a barbaric age, solely about the Jews and their superstitions. But in answer to your question – I’ve got a bible – read it all – turned me into an avowed atheist.
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@Vlad the inhaler
Hmm….I must concede that you have some heady evidence there, for the deity you have chosen to worship. However I am kinda still attached to our creator of un-intelligent design, that is the FSM. What does 9:30 say about beer and strippers in 9:30 heaven?
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What exactly has Vlad been inhaling?
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hahahaha
That’s similar to one my father used to trot out sometimes, when we drove past one of those boards at the front of a church.
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My dad used to say… “life is short” wear a helmet!
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Ahh….”metal” help Peter! Just what some of the xtians advise too! :)
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You people make me laugh.
*Does an accent* “I’m gonna go to church to worship an invisible god. I’m going to become a nun so that I can give up love and sex, because god’s love and sex rules all!”
That’s just scary. I don’t know, but maybe you should see a doctor if you think your imaginary friend is going to do the above for you.
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Yeah
Pastafarians are allowed love and sex. It’s the flimsy morals thing. Beer and strippers in heaven too. Why would anyone want to worship a dusty old book and an imaginary friend over FSM?
RAmen
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Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:41 pm
Ahh….â€metal†help Peter! Just what some of the xtians advise too! :)
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Hahahaha, I’ll help in any way I can,
Hahahaha
Ramen
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PirateyMorgan Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
You people make me laugh.
*Does an accent* “I’m gonna go to church to worship an invisible god. I’m going to become a nun so that I can give up love and sex, because god’s love and sex rules all!â€
That’s just scary. I don’t know, but maybe you should see a doctor if you think your imaginary friend is going to do the above for you.
.
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Best what I can say, don’t knock it! Til you’ve tried it! And/or chipped your teeth on it.
Ramen
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I though Piratey post was at the initial poster? Going by the name?
@PirateyMorgan
“You people make me laugh.”
Us or them?
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My heaven has a stripper factory and a beer volcano. Your heaven has my two ex wives and two ex mother in laws. This is not a difficult decision to make. May the FSM wrap you softly in his noodly goodness.
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Hey, Joe… Me likey your xwives!
Heh heh,
They treat me real nice…
Ramen
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Umm… completely ignoring the 50 or so posts above me, I just want to know… how are we supposed to read a bible “throughly”?
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We can read a bible through, and we can read a bible thoroughly, and we could even theoretically read a bible throw, though I would not care to.
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Methinks someone should attempt to correct his spelling (not to mention grammar, anyone notice the ‘and’s starting the sentences?) before calling us all stupid.
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Woops, two ands in the first sentance, delete the one before thoroughly.
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I can’t correct someone’s grammar if I make similar mistakes.
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@ Jingles
Yes, I addressed that thoroughly issue on the original post before it was moved here. Didn’t feel like repeating myself. So kudos for doing so here.
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Out of curiosity, do you know what thread it was?
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Comment on letter or Kansas I think. Mad John?
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wtf? i think this is all a big joke. i mean srsly, who the fuck would beleive a spaghetti monster. go drink fucking bleach and snort antifreeze and you’ll be better off than beleiving this fucking shit. that is, if u really are ignorant retards. if any1 else posted this then i give u teh credit for teh ideas. im just a supporter. btw, i’m posting this in the Maz army forums and soon ur site will be hacked and spammed like no other motherfucker has ever been. lolzorz bitches lolooollololololololol. hahahahahaha.
also u all seem like tight ass grammar nazi’s. fuck you. i use proper grammar where it matters. tight ass mother fucker yuppie hater ass fucking fudge packers.
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@ Jingles
Sorry, I was away. The original post was on the Comment on the Open Letter thread by christine Dec 27th, 2006 at 10:01 pm.
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@The Real Doughboy-PbN
Well helloooo doughboy. I’ll talk to you shortly, after I have deciphered your post. No doubt it is in code?
In the meantime, my fellow pastafarians, I think I have found that jeesus character that the xtians keep saying we should find. You think this is him. Says it is!
http://www.cegenglish.com/
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wow. ur just being stupid. ur a noob at the interwebnets. srsly.
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Now let’s see about The Real Doughboy-PbN’s post.
“btw, i’m posting this in the Maz army forums and soon ur site will be hacked and spammed like no other motherfucker has ever been. lolzorz bitches lolooollololololololol. hahahahahaha.”
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OK first part is pretty unoriginal…threats? (check) spam? (check)
“lolzorz” this is a new one. Anyone know what it means?
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Moving along:
“also u all seem like tight ass grammar nazi’s. fuck you. i use proper grammar where it matters. tight ass mother fucker yuppie hater ass fucking fudge packers.”
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Well not quite as good as the oars, but along the same theme.
Pretty average really.
RAmen
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I’m sure you can do better than that Doughboy, ’srsly’ we get 12 year olds sending better hatemail! ’srsly’again.
RAmen
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Have to leave you for a minute Dohboy, I see someone more interesting has arrived. Don’t go away will you. Won’t be long.
RAmen
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“yuppie hater” ?
I don’t hate yuppies, why I had some on toast for breakfast, this very morning!
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Doughboy, you still with us? or doing the post and run troll gig?
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@Nikky
He’s really got your blood boiling. Sounded like he was on a limited access. So are you back from your other business then?
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“So are you back from your other business then?”
Yeah
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“He’s really got your blood boiling.”
No not at all, just wanted to play with him. When he replied, I thought he was going to stick around for a bit of fun. Do you have the word “piker” over there?
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My last couple of posts were to see if I could tease out another reply. Maybe a bit of light jousting.
Don’t you know anything about fishing Mad John?
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Nikky—”…just wanted to play with him.”
That’s what I meant. Not angry. Wrong metaphor. And I heard “piker” cross the pond but they don’t use it here. My mates use “wanker” and “no worries” and “bloody hell” after having heard me say them a million times.
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Oh, I know what you were trying to do. I chose not to play that game. Bored with it at that moment. I went to another web site and when I got back I found shakazulu wanting to converse. Had a nice civil conversation for a change.
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I’ve been following a few serious threads on and off during the day, so I was ready for a bit of silliness. Especially if it meant not following links all over the place. Feeling a bit ragged from the others actually. Doughboy perked me up for a minute there.
Oh well. Feeling stuffed again now! Have to start looking at some R & D government guidelines soon, so I guess I was trying to get my fill, before I wind down a bit on following the boards. *Sigh*
Reguarding shakazulu. Yeah nice and polite. Still going to pray for us all at the end though. *sigh*
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Aha..DAR appears to have posted again on the Sam Harris thread, since I was last there.
Must go and read it.
RAmen
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The usual vacuous vitriol and vulgarity—I know I should stop saying that but I do lurve alliteration—then in the middle of it he claims to be a supporter. Strange bloke.
And no oars, I am disappointed.
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If it makes shakazulu feel better about herself by praying for us, then so be it, I say. No harm, no foul. Like shooting ghosts in a barrel. You can’t miss, but you can’t do any harm either.
RAmen
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Just read DARs last post. He really reminds me of Christian, who spent a lot of time debating with J. He seems well read and well informed, so I’ll be following that board a bit more I think. There have been no reponses yet since his last post.
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Yeah I just had a look at it, but I still need to go back and read more of the preceding posts. Responsive bloke. Too much tonight, maybe tomorrow.
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Well I’m going to call it a night. Far too much screen reading for me today. I’ll catch you on the flip side.
RAmen
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G’nite wenchy.
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…………? wow. is it going to be fun seeing 100+ posts of tubgirl if Maz pulls through on this. if not then they suck.
Lolzorz- leetspeak. obvsly (OBVIOUSLY) none of you are into gaming. lol (Laugh out loud) plus some slang (zorz) was added after it was “lolz.” Proper pronunciation of “lol” is “lawl” in gaming. Used with sarcasm. Hopefully you know what I mean by the end of this sentence…….
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http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?t=1888941&highlight=flying+spaghetti+monster
seems as if one of your “followers” i suspect visits the same forums that I do. also misspelled Pastafarian wrong: Pastfarian. i think he needs to be hung upside down from his balls and acid needs to be dripped into his asshole. lol.
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Ah Doughboy, you’d be very surprised about who our followers are and where they visit, I think.
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“Hopefully you know what I mean by the end of this sentence…….”
No probablywith my knowing or comprehending, rather with my giving a toss! :)
RAmen
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edit
“No probablywith my knowing or comprehending, rather with my giving a toss!
That’ll be: No problem with my knowing or comprehending, rather, more with my giving a toss.
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I’ll leave you with a clue Dohboy, (since you don’t seem to have one) find out a bit more about where and what you are posting too in future!
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Ahem.
Ya mum.
The end.
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Oh and btw, I like goats.
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OMG
i just found a old book that says the world was created by a cabbage with glasses!
wow lets leave this cult and worship the real god!
THE CABBAGE WITH GLASSES!
it also says that humans are made of yellow jelly beans =O
i think i just broke the da vinci code!!
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i am sorry your noodly appendage
but i hope some one steps on you
and squishes you into the floor
and makes you bleed pasta sauce
and your tentacles flaile till they have no life left in them
and hopefully anyone who believes in you burns alive
because they deserve it for being so senseless
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Oh why oh why do we get such low quality spam these days?
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Whether it was the arrogant wankery of TLM, or the sheer insanity of the BLR, at least with them, we could have a real flaming row (admittedly, with BLR, it would be answered by more idiotic prose, but at least it was innovative).
This lot are just tragic :(
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I mean, there’s not an oar to be seen in there.
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Otherwise, has anyone noticed a serious decline in the quantity of serious respondents as well?
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No more Christian (the original, not that sorry excuse floating around now), Nic (annoying, but hey, he inspired some good debates), or even the snobbery of Herr Doktar (I didn’t catch him, but FSMdamn, did you lot unify to fight him).
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All we have these days is bored school children exercising their skill with the capslock button, and seeing how many different ways there are of mispelling a given profanity.
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I miss the good ol’ days.
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.
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Jingles
Disappointed in today’s spammers, with bells on.
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You said it Jingles. Debating with the Doctor was fun. No one comes to debate anything anymore. They just do drive-by posts, never to be heard from again. Maybe that is a good sign? I went to a christian board once, and posted a link to here, along with a message enticing them to save my soul. It sparked a few debates, but they also quit coming. We need to be more active in soliciting sparring partners.
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I am sorry alyshaaaa
but i hope some one steps on you
and squishes you into the floor
and makes you bleed Curious by Britney Spears
and your knickers flaile till they have no life left in them
and hopefully anyone who likes you burns alive
because they deserve it for being so senseless
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Maybe some of my UK friends can help me out with this one; what is a ‘tosser’? Is it the equivalent of ‘jack-off’ here in the states? Maybe even asking this makes me a tosser?
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ahoy from blighty.
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tosser definition, yep you guessed right there. unless you’re scottish in which case it might involve cabers.
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perhaps we need to take the mountain to mohammed. since they won’t come debate with us we should go to them?
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perhaps find a very active god bothering site and launch a coordinated broadside with all guns? followed by some boarding and pillaging? sounds like a good new year to this pirate!
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may the new year bring wenches and grog aplenty!
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Maxwell, yes you’re right, a ‘tosser’ is indeed a ‘jack-off,’ though a better word meaning the same thing is ‘wanker’
Eskimos have lots of words for snow, we have lots of words for masturbation
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I’m not a-feared. I’ll board their floating garbage-barge and tease them un-mercifully until they shout obscenities (which generally doesn’t take much) and swarm like bees! I’ll post the link to their website for all pirates to see! ARRRRRRGH
RAmen.
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Hey spider’s back!
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I’ve tracked down that lubber doughboy. http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?p=29959234#post29959234
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load the guns, set the mainsail, into the fray once more me hearties!!!
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damn it’s nice to be missed, makes my pasta swell with good feelings….
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I see we had a few more visitors (or same one dif tag). No “tubgirl” that dohboy promised though!
@maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:33 am
“Maybe some of my UK friends can help me out with this one; what is a ‘tosser’? Is it the equivalent of ‘jack-off’ here in the states? Maybe even asking this makes me a tosser?”
.
I normally use the OZ version “wanker”. Guess I just picked that one up of the boards.
Now I know the American version too!
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aaargh. you can be a “wanker” in the uk as well. in fact you’d be surprised how many there are!
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Ok, thanks. BUT “unless you’re scottish in which case it might involve cabers” What the hell is a caber?
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I see we’ve got a true believer, as in TJ, on that pbnation thread.
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Ahoy!!
me sides be splitting the thought of people trying to imagine what a caber is since you “toss” it
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heres some pics for you!
http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&q=caber%20tossing&btnG=Google+Search&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
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Hey spider how did you get the fish over there?
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since you “toss†it …… heres some pics for you!
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hahahahahahahahahahahaha
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the fish? i miagine you mean in the pb threads. you can upload avatars in your profile. check the left hand side for the menu.
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the scottish. great people. pirates in skirts!
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the fish? i miagine you mean in the pb threads.
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Iwas a little worried about that Q, considering by the time I’d posted, your fish tossing link/post was up.
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I don’t think I’ll bother posting on pb, TJ seems to be doing a good job of recruiting converts and spreading the word there.
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OHHHH, a CABER! Long pole, tossed for distance
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I’ve heard people in the past say “I don’t give a toss”, but I can’t imagine the others being used in that context, or are they? Aussies don’t say “I couldn’t give a wank” At least I don’t think so, anyway.
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Now define ‘piker’. I thought I spoke english?!?!
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hahaha….it’s commonly used here in reference to someone who bows out/goes to sleep in the middle of a good party. Someone who gives up, I guess. Though I think there is a fish in OZ, called a ‘pike’. Maybe people used to throw them ;)
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Where’s Jingles when I need him?
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I just looked up Doughboy and gave him some slang……”Thanks doughboy for your education in slang. I’d like to try it out here, ok?
u stoopid ppl r srsly stoopid 4 not beleveng in the FSM like he iz da shnizzle u need 2 beleve in him cuz he is speghety n sause and srsly he is like our god u know? we r kule n ur not cuz we beleve!!!!!HAHAHAHAHA LOLRZ!!!!
How did I do?”
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WOW maxwell, you are an expert. You got the flavour of so many of our disillusioned (sp!) visitors down perfectly! Your spelling is especially perfect. :)
RAmen
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http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?p=29959234#post29959234
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Thank-you good wench. If I spent my days working in the sewer, I would surely return home smelling of sh*t. Since I’ve spent my days wading thru christian posts, I must also smell of them. I simply take a whiff of myself and write as I smell. I, good wench, am NO piker. I do not give up when there are battles to be fought. I may however be a tosser, and/or wanker, since I am typing with only ONE hand…..
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Just had a look at the post at pbnation. Hahaha…That was brilliant!
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“I may however be a tosser, and/or wanker, since I am typing with only ONE hand…..”
.
hahahaha….
I can’t type that well with two.
It’s 1am here now (way past my bedtime), but I really needed a laugh after the past two days of more serious discussions here and there. Sometimes with the pseudo interlectual/scientist types, you just have to use the right bait or enough rope. Can be time consuming.
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I’m exhausted. I was bowing out off (piking) the boards hours ago. Glad I was here for that little post fest though. That will keep me smiling til I start dreaming of Pastafarian heaven. Catch you on the flip side maxwell :)
RAmen
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I miss the debate. We seem to get only drive-by posters anymore. I agree that we need to actively recruit. I will get off my ass and do so.
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Nighty-night
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Jesus I mean Spaghetti wench Nikky are you still posting?? I have gone to bed, gotten up, had breakfast and gone to work already.
Jesus that Jesus of the week site is funny. I had a few chuckles out load in my office this morning.
http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/
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I am a recent convert to the great FSM as my Lord and Creator. I just want to thank the many enlightened persons who have helped me to realize the true meaning of life.
After reading both the Old and the New Testament multiple times as well as a plethora of sacred Egyptian, Mesopotamian, and Levantive texts, it has come to my attention that the FSM Gospels and religion are far superior.
I look forward to taking part in future discussions.
R’amen
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One cannot escape the realization that everytime a Christian attempts to belittle that which they feel is untrue (Pastafarianism) they fail to provide positive, empirical reasons to support their beliefs. I wrote off Christianity a long time ago, mainly due to the Bible itself. It is a literary train-wreck, liberally infested with brazen accounts of murder, rape and slavery performed in the name of God. There is no internal consistancy, as one would likely expect from an omniscient author. The so-called moral lessons have no applicable value in today’s world. (Stoning someone to death for working on a holy day?!?) And, no, you cannot pick and choose the parts of the Bible you feel are true and which ones are mere allegory. Either the entire thing is true, or it is not. And since when would a creator of the universe allow his holy book to be VOTED upon by people, a la Constantine’s Council of Nicea? Would you like to know how I am sure the FSM is real? On Christmas day my very Christian mother-in-law served spaghetti. With meatballs. Followed by a viewing of “Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest”. The wind be at your backs, mateys.
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I’ve worn boots very much like a pirate wears for about ten years now. I think it was just a natural and subconscious move towards Flying Spaghetti Monsterism that was happening before I had even learned of the great religion.
That, to me, proves the power of His potency.
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Arrrr Mr. Cotton’s Parrot;
The servin’ of the body of FSM on x-mas was no coincidence! He works in Noodly ways…Enjoy yer time here at COFSM, matey!
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I have decided that “My name is Earl” promotes a superior moral code to that in the bible, so I asked for the boxset for christmas. Yarr.
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“Pikey” is a UK equivalent to ‘trailer trash’ as a description of a person, but things are also described as ‘a bit pikey’ if they are low grade or common
I’ve never heard of ‘piking’ or ‘piker’.
A ‘pike’ is a fish, and of course also a medaeval weapon.
Thank you and goodnight
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how do you define the difference between a pikey and a chav?
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I don’t know that
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But what do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
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Sorted
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If your looking for a defination of pikey watch snatch
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This is going to be a classic; An ‘expert’ on hangings, gives 3 scenarios for what might happen to Saddam when he is hanged. This is an portion of the interview…….”There is also a third possible scenario.
“If they drop him too far, his head pops off,” Lyle said. “But I don’t think that we have to worry about it going wrong. I have a feeling the Iraqis know what they are doing.” Classic!
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Hi beastly. As far as I remember a Pikey is a derog. term for a gypsy and a chav is the gypsy word for a child.
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1f doughboy 3vr c0l\/l3s b4ck, tl-l1s l\/l3ss4g3 1s f0r h1m.
joo 4r3 l\l0t L337, 4nd joo d1sgust l\/l3. obvsly joo 4r3 an id10t.
cl-l33rs.^_^
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You’re right l’tuae, I think he’s more likely some really, Really, geeky 15 year old with a superiority complex and no brains.
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I think he’s about as 1337 as my granny.
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I’m stirring up some trouble….http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?p=29966030&posted=1#post29966030
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L’TUAE_42 – managed all but L337, had to google for that! One of the joys of this site is that you go away knowing more than you when you arrived, seriously. I never knew people like unbakedbreadboy existed irl. I’m on a steep learning curve.
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We don’t have so many IDiots (ta Nikky :)) in the UK. What an eye-opener.
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Wow, yea, this Doughboy is reel smurt.
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u know what makes me laugh, is that i can’t tell if christians are christians, or if they are just athiests makin fun. some religious believes are so outlandish that i just don’t know anymore if this hate mail is legit, or just other athiests poking fun at stupid faith.
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Doughboy came over from pbnation (painball). One of our supporters (tag at pb = TJ)
has his own thread over there. It appears TJ is doing a great job spreading the Pastafarian word. Doughboy obviously decided to check out our site, but didn’t quite bring all his manners with him. No doubt he will be copping a bit of flak there as well!
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I just swiped this off another forum, a jesus forum…
Whoever wrote this, has got to be one of us! Congrats whoever you are, good work!
.
For it is written in the BUYBULL in the book of HYPOCRISY 2:34
Thou shalt go sanctimoniously and piously amongst the people spreading hate, ignoring facts, vilifying science and the people will do as you as not as you do
Transcription by Sam Brownback and Ted Haggard.
Praise CHEESES !!!
.
Ramen
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Yeah, I suggest all you christian ppl who think this is more absurd than the old testament actually READ the bible.
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i’ve read the bible. honestly, i like the Gospel of the FSM a lot more. And also, the bible wasnt hand writen by God and dropped into our hands. it was revised, editied, and rewritten by a bunch of romans. It does say in the bible “judge not lest ye be judged” or something like that, so dont mock us and expect not to get mocked youself. belive what you wanna belive and if you dont belive what we belive, dont try to bible bash us and get a life.
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@Sacreligous Sea-Dog
‘it was revised, editied, and rewritten by a bunch of romans.’
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Yes, and they had no accurate copying technology either.
Below, is a simple example of what can happen during such re-writings!
.
MONASTRY LIFE
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks copy the old canons and laws by hand.
He notices however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
The new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! That error would be contained in all the subsequent copies.â€We have been copying from copies for centuries my son, but you make a good point.
The head monk goes down into the caves under the monastary where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault which hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years. The old monk is gone for hours. The nivice gets worried and goes down to check on him. He finds the head monk banging his head against the wall and wailing: “The ‘R’!.. we missed the.. it was ‘R’….sob…we missed the ‘R’. His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is shaking and crying uncontrallably.
Chokingly, he says, “the word was CELEBRATE†(*sob*)
.
RAmen (with an ‘R’)
ps. Reposted when relevent
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Nikkiee, funny funny!
hahahaha
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Pretty darn quite tonite.
I keep picking on fundies at the “topix” boards, but they are soo self absorbed,
They don’t hear a thing I say. Ho Hum,
and twittly dum…
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I meant quiet*
my bad.
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@ritherz Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:52 pm
‘u know what makes me laugh, is that i can’t tell if christians are christians, or if they are just athiests makin fun. some religious believes are so outlandish that i just don’t know anymore if this hate mail is legit, or just other athiests poking fun at stupid faith.”
.
Happens to all of us from time to time ritherz :) As you say, it can be quite hard to tell the difference.
RAmen
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Oooh… I missed the slang speech… and I had some great Aussie strine to throw in there, too.
.
Btw, to any poms, your pike/chav sounds a bit like our bogans and yobbos,
(who can be loosely described as anyone who thinks a) Neighbours is quality tv, b) ugg boots and a flannelette shirt are ’smart casual’ clothing or c)anyone named after a car brand, such as Mercedes, or has the nickname Shazza, Bazza, Dazza, Kazza, or Mazza).
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In Australia though, as mentioned earlier, to pike is to pass out early on in the piece at a party. I had always assumed it came from pikelet somehow (like really small panccakes).
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“I had always assumed it came from pikelet somehow (like really small pancakes).”
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Could be Jingles, but I couldn’t pass up the fish reference. :)
Will try to find out its origin.
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Not that I wish to hijack another thread, but it looks like I’m going to try it again…
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Answers in Genesis Revenues Decline by 50% in 2005.
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“I’ve just been reviewing the 2005 Form 990 filing from Answers in Genesis of Kentucky, the first one filed since its split from Creation Ministries International in October 2005. (I’ve previously commented on their 2003 and 2004 Form 990’s.) They have seen a huge drop in revenue, which appears to be largely due to a drop in overall donations from the public and decreased attendance at their seminars. They’ve been spending a lot of money on their creationism museum, and it looks like they are counting on it to be a growing, if not the primary, source of their future revenue. In response to this revenue decline, the senior staff have all taken significant cuts in pay. This drop in revenue is likely not attributable to the CMI split, since that didn’t become public knowledge until the end of February 2006.”
http://lippard.blogspot.com/2006/12/answers-in-genesis-revenue-declines-by.html
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It is sad to see another religious organization fall on hard times. Perhaps we could coordinate a food drive and send them cases of Ramen noodles to get them through these hard times?
.
OEJ, doing a happy pirate dance!
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dance on OEJ, dance on.
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whilst i endorse the friendly feeling point of view, i am concerned that their reserves of cash may not be worth pillaging when we raid them? we need to let them build up reserves or there won’t be enough for wenches and grog afterwards!
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“the first one filed since its split from Creation Ministries”
Aha…handy info OEJ. Most of the YECs around the boards link ‘answers in genesis’ as reference (evidence from the bible to back their ’scientific’ dreams). I shall now state that I prefer to get my info from Creation Ministries. I wonder how they will respond?
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As for the bottom line…hahahahahahahahaha
RAmen
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Creation Ministries have probably still got heaps spider.
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I posted this link in another topic, but creationists are fine in SUnday school. I object to their incursion int to real world.
” Park Rangers are not allowed to comment on the age of the Grand Canyon so creationists aren’t peeved.”
http://www.peer.org/news/news_id.php?row_id=801
In an not too unrelated item, certain cities in Utah will celebrate New Years Eve on Saturday so they can all make it to the 3-hour block of Sunday meetings.
There was a time (10th century) when islam excelled the sciences, preserved all writing (from everywhere), but in the following century got ‘overtaken’ but the cultural fundies.
I hope it won’t happen here, but two more years of Bush certainly will do more irreparable damage.
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Err.. I know this a bit off topic now, but in response to Beastly Rich, I AM 15, and geeky is not neccesarily a bad thing. You were right, however, when saying he’s about as L337 as your grandma. not that I know your grandma or anything.
Anyway, RAmen, OEJ, RAmen
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Well, at least he didn’t say we would burn in a lake of fire.
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Judges 1:19
“And the Lord was with Judah; and he drove out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the plain because they had CHARIOTS OF IRON”?
I’m off to get me an iron chariot in case those christians turn nasty.
Ramen me hearties, arrrr.
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I always liked Chariots of fire myself. I think owning one would kick butt!
I’ve been trying to sell my Jesus Christ Almighty… Mighty… Miracle water…
On a Christian forum, it’s not going very well at all!
Dang fundi’s no sense of belief, no sir!
I tell them this stuff will give them belief, they don’t listen, they don’t buy, they don’t believe!
Dang hypocrites, I tell ya!
Ok, rant mode off/
Back to save some christians…
Ramen
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Jesus this, Moses that, Abraham hit me with a wiffle ball bat!
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Update… Never try to sell, Jesus Christ Almighty… Mighty… Miracle water…
On a Christian forum.
Water into wine… Water into wine… That’s all I hear over there!!!
My water IS wine! Geeshhh!!!
My water IS whatever you want it to be! Why can’t some people understand?
And just BELIEVE! That’s all I ask for… Well that and 9.95 an ounce.
Miracles ain’t free ya know! Unless you are a member of the CoFSM, I have allotted a lot of water for the members here…
Ramen
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Did this come before or after the South Park about god being just a big spagetti monster? This IS a joke isn’t it?
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Taylor Dec 31st, 2006 at 6:00 pm
This IS a joke isn’t it?
Depends on what your idea of a joke is, I reckon.
Did ya hear the one about the guy that nailed his only kid to a cross?
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Hahahaha…that one is my favourite.
RAmen Peter
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@Taylor Dec 31st, 2006 at 6:00 pm
“Did this come before or after the South Park about god being just a big spagetti monster?”
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Before! Southpark saw the intelligence of His Noodleyness, and decided to give the Great Flying one a bit of oublicity.
RAmen
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Get a bible and read it throughly. Realize that it’s NOT meant to be taken literally and that you’re NOT supposed to shove it down people’s throats.
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OK, I could read it thoroughly but that’d be a waste of time since before I was a FSM I was a Buddhist, you know a gentle benevolent religion.
Maybe I’d read the Bible thoroughly and find that some, if not most it is a contradiction.
Anyway, don’t try and sell something in which there is no evidence.
I wish people wouldn’t raid a peaceful area (not just here) and tell them what they think.
Hey, this was called a joke and you’re hating US!
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As a very recent convert to the church I am studying your theology closely, and am unable to find any evidence against the existence of the great Noodlyness, peace be upon him (or is it her?)
Careful inspection of the ideas of creationism leave me cold, but the idea of the creation of all things by a (Hopefully) benevolent Spaghetti Monster has much to commend it.
If I am now a believer, am I supposed to persecute and even kill those who do not believe as I do? I cannot imagine how a pile of Spaghetti can possibly be malevolent or cruel though, and that is a great part of his attraction for me.
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I’m waiting for the day when I’ll be pastarisd. Then I’ll be able to carry the great belief onto the next level.
John E Ashford
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Why should I read the bible? There are many more fairy tales that are much more entertaining than the bible… and not only that but they have less holes and make more sense.
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P.S. If God’s your maker… you might want to ask him why he fucked your face up so badly.
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Did you work out the Daffodil reference yet?
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I’ve been reading some more of the bible, ahem……
Peter 2:18
“Slaves, respect your owners,obey not only the good and kind, but also the cruel”
Bl**dy H*ll what else is in this book?
Are you allowed to sell your grandma I wonder?
Ramen, Brothers and Sisters of the Holy Sauce, yarrrr.
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Er’ pansy boi, aka TLM.
Aren’t you supposed to stay on your own thread?
And out of the mainstrem? You will get runned over out here friend.
Best scurry along now… by by,
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//Before! Southpark saw the intelligence of His Noodleyness, and decided to give the Great Flying one a bit of oublicity.
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Interesting typo, Wench Nikky. Since an oubliette is where you drop someone to forget them, would oublicity be kinda the opposite of publicity? Instead of keeping someone in the public eye, would it take them out?
.
I can think of a few people who need oublicists.
.
RAmen,
Cap’n Annie
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Ooooh, Laughingboy’s back. The nerd wannabe in the Hello Kitty tighty-whities.
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Hate ta tell ya, kid, but HK Underoos aren’t for nerds. They’re for fanboiz. Slipped up there, I’d say. Locked in your mum’s basement with a DVD player and a stack of bootleg Pokemon, huh? Typical otaku, in the Japanese sense (hint: it’s not a compliment).
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Well, back to work. Thanks for the pickmeup.
Cap’n Annie, terror of the radiology department (I wish)
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@Laugh,
.
> Why should I read the bible? There are many more
> fairy tales that are much more entertaining than
> the bible… and not only that but they have less
> holes and make more sense.
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For once I agree with you Laugh, but you have to admit The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is airtight! Go ahead, just try to prove that anything in there didn’t happen.
.
I wish more people like you would speak out against the bible and the false prophets who wrote it.
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@Cap’n Annie Jan 1st, 2007 at 2:20 pm
“Interesting typo, Wench Nikky. Since an oubliette is where you drop someone to forget them, would oublicity be kinda the opposite of publicity? Instead of keeping someone in the public eye, would it take them out?”
.
Hahahahahaha……..well the ‘o’ is at least next to the ‘p’. I didn’t even know there was a word such as ‘oublicity’ , but I do now. Thank FSM, there is no edit function here! How boring would that get?
RAmen
May you always be protected from free radicals by the FSM.
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Brother Boyardee. Daffodil cannot see sarcasm when directed at him.
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“I wish more people like you would speak out against the bible and the false prophets who wrote it.”
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He will preen over that. Just belittle him. It’s free and it’s fun.
RAmen
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Alchemist Jan 1st, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Brother Boyardee. Daffodil cannot see sarcasm when directed at him.
.
Just belittle him. It’s free and it’s fun.
RAmen
‘.
hahahaha
Ramen
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Hiya Peter. You have to give the little fellow some credit. He’s not a quitter – although masochist he may be. I wish I’d got to the Run thread with the Jim Jones Rugby song (cue subtle hint for me to post it).
.
Hope you have a fantastic 2007 Peter. Your sense of humour is about as sick as mine. Long may it continue.
.
PS you must know the Jim Jones song – sung to the tune of Down Town?
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Alchemist Jan 1st, 2007 at 5:05 pm
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PS you must know the Jim Jones song – sung to the tune of Down Town?
.
I’m afraid I don’t know that one? Maybe the flower boi could humm a few bars of it? And it would come to me?
You know what is strange Alchemist, ever since you referenced Queens, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ the other day,
everytime I see the TLM’s name now. I start singing ‘Bicycle’ in my head.
There must be a connection there!
Ramen
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“you might want to ask him why he fucked your face up so badly.”
Hmm yes…a definate lack of intelligence of reply. The profanity and childish natue of this insult show definate signs of an under developed maturity, in a seventeen year old.
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Peter, I was singing that bloody song for hours afterwards :)
Not sure if Jim Jones will post but ‘ere goes
.
To the music of “Down Town”
.
When your down and your broke, and your religion’s a joke
Why don’t you go and see
Jim Jones
When your life’s incomplete, there’s only one man to meet
Why don’t you go and see
Jim Jones
.
Watch him mix the Cool Aid in the vat oh so lethal
Listen to the anguished cries of all the dying people
Everyone dies.
The rev’s the most gracious host
So, lift up your glasses, the ultimate toast
(So, lift up you glasses, the durge of the masses)
Your in Jonestown
Drink with the reverend Jim
Jonestown
Chances are mighty slim
Jonestown
People are dropping like flies.
Congressman Ryan, on a mission of spyin’
Would not drink with
Jim Jones
Such a public disgrace, they had to blow off his face
‘Cause he would not drink with
Jim Jones
Refrain
First you cough and you wheeze, then you drop to your kness
From drinking Cool Aid with
Jim Jones
You arrive back in the States, decomposed in your crates
From drinking Cool Aid with
Jim Jones
.
Ta Ra
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Dr. Maglacey Jan 1st, 2007 at 5:34 pm
.
Hehehe. He still hasn’t worked out the “little Daffodil” honorific. I thought he was supposed to be intelligent. They obviously don’t teach Classics at his school :)
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Bl00dy l-l3ll. Who wrote that?! That’s not even funny.>:(
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Sorry L’TUAE old rugby song. Didn’t mean to cause offense :(
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Alchemist,
HAHAHA!
Excellent song! I’ll be singing that one now… good show!
Ramen
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@ L’TUAE_42,
It is just in fun. You must admit it was a little funny.
Ramen
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Well…er.. STILL.
Aww, it’s okay, no offense taken.
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It has a nice beat but you can’t dance to it.
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Marc. There’s a reply to that (involving the Tokyo underground) but I’ve been told off so dare not – oops just did :).
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L’TUAE I make jokes about things that upset me. It’s a coping mechanism. I really didn’t want to upset people. Sorry.
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Maybe I can lighten things up with the immortal song “the good ship venus”?
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L’TUAE_42,
Just don’t click on any of this “ozy” something or another that I see trolling in some other threads. Crap! Alchemist and I might be a little tasteless at times.
But that freak is downright, without class.
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Hmm. Peter. That is the nicest thing, I’m welling up here (hehehe). Where is ozy? I lose threads so easily :) No Daffy yet – for shame – Rosy Red Palms hahaha like it
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OK, but you didn’t get this link from me…
http://www.venganza.org/2006/01/18/the-only-thing-that-surprises.htm#comment-33191
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Ah. Yes, point taken. Not to be encouraged.
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Night Peter – catch you later – I’m piking out(?)
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Alchemist, OK friend catch ya next time around!
Ramen
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your bible is too long maybe i need an easier and more inteligent read hmmmm maybe the gospel of our noodleyness the Flying Spaghetti Monster
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Get a grammar book. Read it thoroughly.
Stop being illiteralte.
Seriously, it’s not that difficult to type properly, is it? Who says we believe in your God anyway? Why should YOUR God run MY life?
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Look, it’s simple. You say God loves all humans. You say God is good and wants humans to live a happy and wonderous life.
Then why is he slowly destroying the world we love? Why does he allow religous wars, and persecution of minorities?
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“Dance my puppets, dance!” – God
*
That’s why.
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Bubsty Jan 2nd, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Look, it’s simple. You say God loves all humans. You say God is good and wants humans to live a happy and wonderous life.
Then why is he slowly destroying the world we love? Why does he allow religous wars, and persecution of minorities?
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Don’t be questioning god!
He has his reasons for all these things, you speak of!
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Ok, here is whay you shold read the bible…
I just swipped this from the ‘topix’ forums, it was written by Lowell,
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There can be only ONE God. Not a multipule of gods. The God of the Jews revieled himself to the Jews who were commanded to write His word. There is too much information in the Bible to be written just by a man.Jesus was born and fullfiled everything written in the Bible to the letter. Over 300 prophecies were written about his birth, his life, and his resurection, all written 1400 years before he was born. Jesus didn’t fulfil the Koran or any other book, He fulfilled the God’s word.
I was the same way before I just happend to read a book on why the Bible is Gods word. I highly recommend Grant Jeffries book (actualy 2 books in one) The Signature of God and The Handwritting of God. In it it is explained how the EXACT day was predicted that Israel would once again become a nation, among many very interesting discoveries since the advent of computers about Bible codes.
The word of God is for all people, therefore God does mean you too.
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Crap, sorry for my typos… it’s a good day for drinking!
Ramen
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At first I was a skeptic because a true religion must inspire beautiful feelings and a heaving bosom as the main criterion of truth. Then I learned about the heavenly stripper factory and beer volcano. Wow! Baptize me in spaghetti sauce!
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Lowell writes:
The word of God is for all people, therefore God does mean you too.
However, NOT if you just happen to be a woman:
1 Corinthians. 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
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Welcome Mark Juggs
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Yes welcome, Mark Juggs.
Hey Nikkiee, are you making any headway in your science forums?
I’ve really been working my butt off in the christian forums, but I’m not sure if I’ve accomplished anything or not?
Fighting blind faith, is kind of like fighting blind faith.
If that made any sense.
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This is not a very good Haiku.
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Of course not!!!
“Fighting blind faith, is kind of like fighting blind faith.”
Couldn’t have put it better myself Peter. RAmen
I am getting interested in some of the AIG lies and affiliations between YEC/IDiots.
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http://www.bcseweb.org.uk/index.php/Main/Theocracy
I decided to start checking out the credentials of some of the YEC scientists and what papers they had written, (none of them are ever creation science research!), since the YECs are so fond of the “all these scientists support our worldview line, an argument they produce ad nauseum. Some interesting findings, but I’m not going right into it at the moment.
Let’s just say I starting digging into one of them, and remembered hearing a claim somewhere, that many these scientists didn’t exist or were misrepresented.
I’ll just look at it as I have time. Nice to resond with knowledge of what these ” scientists ” have actually written research papers on.
RAmen
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i love how fundies want to save us godless atheists to get us into heaven. literally, if i need saving it’s from creepy fuckers like you.
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Im still hoping that holy water is actually rum.
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Michael Jefferies Jan 2nd, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Im still hoping that holy water is actually rum.
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Forget about that so called ‘holy water’.
What you want is some of my… Jesus Christ Almighty… Mighty… Miracle water…
Available here…
http://www.peterpopoff.org/ Tastes like Rum, if you wish…
Ramen
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@jesus christ Jan 2nd, 2007 at 8:25 pm
“i love how fundies want to save us godless atheists to get us into heaven. literally, if i need saving it’s from creepy fuckers like you.”
We all pray to the FSM to save you from your followers jesus. Have you tried telling them you want your religion back?
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Wench Nikky Jan 2nd, 2007 at 9:47 pm
@jesus christ Jan 2nd, 2007 at 8:25 pm
“i love how fundies want to save us godless atheists to get us into heaven. literally, if i need saving it’s from creepy fuckers like you.â€
We all pray to the FSM to save you from your followers jesus. Have you tried telling them you want your religion back?.
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Ramen Wench Nikkiee, Ramen…
hahahaha
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i wish i could, but most of my followers (the hardcore ones that is) don’t seem to be open to anything else. i think i have to tell them that since what i did in the bible was easy to get away with 2000 years ago. however, i think i have to tell them that most of things i did involved a little trick or a kinduv lied about them. i should also tell them that the bible is written by a bunch of men. maybe since i’m jesus they would listen to me.
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To henderob (the guy who left the comment we are all replying to)
Get a life…and live it throughly
Stop being stupid
Your mother and father are your maker
leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
and to the comments above me, that was good people hoping to help.
I feel for you and those like you who believe your idiotic beliefs.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can stop pissing me off.
PIRATES RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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@BOBJACK_JACKBOB Jan 3rd, 2007 at 7:55 am
“To henderob (the guy who left the comment we are all replying to)”
You really are going to have to pay a little more attention before you post!
henderob publishes the hatemail (most of which is directed at him!!!)
henderob is also the Prophet for the CoFSM!!!
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Ah……. How embaressing. Apologies all round.
Thank you for correcting me Wench Nikky.
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My spelling is EMBARRASSING sometimes too. Apologies all round again.
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Don’t sweat it Bobjack – a lot of people have made that mistake. :)
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Some more from the ‘topix’ boards… this one was written by Dee…
It dosen’t matter what you know, or have learned. It’s all about a feeling, unless you have that ‘feeling’ there is no way you will understand god!
Oh, it’s going to be a long day…
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Just because you have been raised Catholic still doesn’t make you a Christian and does not mean you UNDERSTAND the Bible and its teachings. Again I will state that unless you have the Spirit of God you CANNOT understand the Bible in its entirety. This seems to be where the problem lies within our conversations. I cannot get across to a non-Christian that unless you have the Spirit of God in your heart you lack the wisdom to understand the Word of God. The Word of God is alive! It is not some dead history that you make it out to be. God speaks through it each and everytime I pick it up. The Levitical laws still apply today only not necessarily in the ways that you perceive them. The “cleansing” the priests had to go through before going behind the veil was necessary in order to be in the presence of the Lord. In the same way, this teaches us that sanctification (cleansing) is necessary for us in order to be in God’s presence today. I do not expect you to understand this and sorry if it sounds too deep. This is why it is very hard for a Christian to explain spiritual things to a non-Christian. You simply cannot understand the spiritual closeness unless you receive the Spirit of God into your life and heart.
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of course. the old “you can’t understand me if you don’t think like me!” argument. i love it when christians spout that one. if they could just hear their own words from an outside perspective…
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THIS IS STUPID YOU ARE SO RETARDED IT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY YOU SHOULD BE SHOT
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Thanks Bob!
Hey BTW, did you know that your linky thing, says ‘Frank’?
Is he your twin? Or sompin?
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Must be kids are getting back to school after the holidays. I’ve noticed a rush of youngsters today, all over the interweb.
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@bob
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yea, ok bob, we should certainly listen to you (sarcasm)
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OMG!
The flying spaghetti monster…
Those noodles…
Those meat balls…
I think we have observable proof of super string theory.
The noodles, or strings if you are talking about string theory, were here before anything else, and make up all matter. Maybe the meat balls represent quarks.
Haha.
Fuck christians.
I think you should try and prove theories with this religion, not theories like the big bang, but theories like super strings and dark matter and black holes.
Haha… FSM… I can’t beleive you actually get hate mail about it…
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I have come up with a theory.
At the dawn of time, the explosion of the primeval atom in the beginning singularity, was actually an infinitely dense area of spacetime composed of noodles billions of times smaller than quarks, (quarks are what make up neutrons and protrons, which make up atoms that have electrons orbiting them), the consciousness of the FSM sparked the explosion, it sparked the forces of nature, the laws of the universe. The FSM set everything in motion, but did not leave it untouched. He knew that if any constant of nature was to be disturbed, the universe would collaspe or pretty much fuck up. He does not live inside us all, just one of us at a time.
I was getting to something good, than I got distracted and began going to in depth without explaining the FSM and explaining more of what happened at the beginning… errr.. Fuck it.
Maybe you can work off of what I wrote.
I’m not too well informed of the FSM either, keep that in mind.
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welcome aboard jakon
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Hi Jakon.
There is some discussion that the Great Noodly One is behind the mysterious force of gravity and is responsible for holding us all down on the planet by touching us with his noodly appendages.
None of us know all about Him though, He is a God after all.
Spread the Word and pass the parmesan.
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Uhm… is it just me or do you guys notice that Alchemist and Peter Popoff seem to spend an aweful lot of time in here writing comments that don’t make much sense and have little do with anything. I only post stuff like once every 3 or 4 days, and I somehow get ragged on for not having a life and “living” in this place. I love how you two call me names yet you were the ones who said “Calling people names is a childish thing to do”. You guys are reeking of hypocrisy. You both just leave comment after comment all day long to eachother about the most random stuff. If you two want to be best buddies do it someplace other than the FSM threads. Alchemist… get an E-Mail account and send your love letters to Peter that way… nobody wants to read them in here. What’s the point of having a Hate-Mail section when it’s not used to discuss the issues prestented in the hate-mail… but instead used to carry out attempts at belittling the people who oppose you. This isn’t any way to have an argument… it’s more like 3rd grade recess. It seems to me that if anybody in here should be accused of having emotional immaturity, it should be both Alchemist and Peter Popoff for their long hours spent calling people names and making bad jokes on these threads. Even the Christians aren’t this childish in their dealings with people who oppose them. Maybe not so much in the U.S., but in the more predominately Catholic and Christian countries they don’t call people who oppose them “little daffodils”, they present them with what they believe to be facts in attempt to back up their beliefs and prove those people wrong. This site really doesn’t have any of that. By the looks of things here, I’d have to say that you’ll never make an accurate Satire of world religions when all you do is flop about making reductio ad absurdums and calling people names. Real religions fight you by having a battle of the minds… you all seem to fight people off by having something more like a cafeteria food fight.
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See jesus christ!
You aren’t the only one with a fan base!
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@pansy boi, hi pansy boi, weren’t you told to stay on your own thread?
Yes I think you were! It’s Ok though, me and my lover have missed you, and your girlfriend.
You never did tell me though? Is she Native American?
That name, Rosie Redpalms, that’s just odd?
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Point proven. Case closed.
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Awwwwww, diddums!are the big meanies making fun of my little daffodil? And now you’re going to sulk after throwing that hissy fit?
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That’s adorable!
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TLM, do you have anything at all to say except to criticize others? You really are a bore. This is a light-hearted satire site aimed at something very serious. You have demonstrated again and again that you don’t have the capacity to understand this. It is entertaining for us adults to see how far you will go to make yourself look foolish, but it has grown tiresome for me. Go away.
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Ahh.. the pseudo wise laughing banal boy has returned to anoint us one again with his…erm.. whatever he calls it. Someone throw some spaghetti at the daffodil.
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I thought you guys might actually try and prove me wrong… but I find that all you do is validate my point. Question for you Marc… do any of YOU have something to say besides criticizing others? This whole site’s aimed at being a critique and a satire to the bible… so why tell me to stop criticizing other people? You all really do reek of hypocrisy. For “adults”… your light hearted “satire” is more like “this guy thinks differently so call him names”.
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I must say!
His post directed at Alchemist and myself, really struk a nerve! A wake up call if you will, a sudden revelation, a slap upside the head, a real eye opener, so on and so on.
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I am now sitting here with my feelings all hurt and stuff!
I don’t understand that kid at all, he doesn’t get it, yet he keeps coming back and getting beat on? That’s really pretty sad, it does give insight into the homelife the poor boi has, though.
I’m glad my parents loved me.
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I just figued it out!
He can’t read the big words!
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hey we didn’t go to your site and make fun of you, you came looking for it. so if this site bothers you SO much, don’t come back
ARRRRRRGGHH!!!
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@TLM
This is the CHURCH of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – people stand around gossiping at the back of churches all the time – that is what this lot are doing – managers call it “team building” – it is fun, people enjoy it, it is part of our social activities as a species.
There are no rules here for what “believers” can and can’t do – the reason you are getting “picked on” is that you are quite vocally NOT a believer, and so therefore have no right to expect to be supported and listened to in the same way – it is the same wherever you go, if you don’t try to fit in people will ostracise you.
Why can’t you understand that if you openly say you don’t like people and what they are doing they won’t want to hang around with you?
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I think you are right pete, best stick to small words so the laughing man can understand our insults
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I think he’s autistic, or a troll.
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RAmen Booty RAmen
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Pansy boi, are you an autistic troll?
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“this guy thinks differently so call him namesâ€.
That should be ‘this guy is a boring pain in the but with nothing to say’
Stroke your ego elsewhere. It’s embarrassing watching you spill yourself out all over the place here.
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@TheLaughingMan Jan 3rd, 2007 at 3:28 pm
I SPY STRANGERS. You are not the ‘real’ LM.
I put it on record that right now I am on the right side of 8 pints of Stella Artois but your post makes some elements of sense.p, who
That can not be the ‘real’ Laughing Man, so someone is posting in his name.
Hands up, who is taking the mike?
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Aww, isn’t he cute? You can see his little little lips quiver. Still think that daffodil means a flower eh. How is your girlfriend? Just an echo on the wind?
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“…Real religions fight you by having a battle of the minds…” Oh dear. Ego alert. Woowoowoo.
At least bring a weapon to the fight :)
Hehehe – you really are getting a bit wound up by us aren’t you.
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“you all seem to fight people off by having something more like a cafeteria food fight.” nothings wrong with a good food fight, especially if it has spaghetti flying across the room
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Come on Peter and Alchemist, just because the little flower’s spelling is Aweful (sic) doesn’t mean you can take all of the piss all of the time!
He might sound like a little dipshit, but he might just be a poorly educated American.
It is often hard to tell.
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TLM is Alchemist.
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“Real religions fight you by having a battle of the minds”
Yeah right. Look, don’t even start on hypocrisy thing, because you are just as guilty of it as us. These threads are not just for having serious debates and descusions, they are also a place were we can hang out and talk about things that are important to us, and if we get a little off track sometimes, then what of it? Why should you care? You don’t even like us, and for all that you’re an athiest, I don’t like you either.
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@ McSpaghetti – I don’t know about you, but I am seeing Bugsy Malone!
“We could have been anything that we wanted to be…..”
I have to go to bed :(
Try not to have too much fun without me.
And I am VERY cross with Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA for having lots of beer without inviting the rest of us. (insert frowny face here ;) )
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@Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA
“so someone is posting in his name. Hands up, who is taking the mike?”
I don’t know Captain. Same petulant accent as the as laughing boi.
Same inability to see how high the point of this church it still going over his head.
@Alchemist
“you really are getting a bit wound up by us aren’t you.”
Masochistic?
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He just needs to be held, and loved.
I wish he would come to my house, I’m all full of love and stuff! I’d love nothing more then to give him a GREAT BIG HUG, and make sweet love with him and a couple of oars…
Ramen
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oh, and i would like to call attention to the fact that a lot of people (….cough…popoff…cough..) have been implying that younger, school age people are all imature and stupid. ie: All the kids must be getting back from break.
Please understand that many of us (at least high school age) are alert and intelligent. I would appreciate it if you could use your extensive brainpower to devise other insults.
Sorry if I’m going all politically correct or picky, it’s just how I feel.
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@Beastly Rich Jan 3rd, 2007 at 4:22 pm
“TLM is Alchemist”
Now that’s an insult to poor oldish (ish) Alchemist.
@Booty
Night Booty, catch you on the roundabout.
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As amused as I am by the daffs antics, I have to go to bed. ‘Night.
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@L’TUAE_42
“Please understand that many of us (at least high school age) are alert and intelligent.”
I think we are all aware of that Booty. We have many such Pastafarians.
I think it’s just a reference to most of our hatemailers.
RAmen
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“this guy thinks differently so call him namesâ€
.
TLM, you don’t think differently, you think immaturely. Be gone. You are boring.
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@Beastly Rich Jan 3rd, 2007 at 4:36 pm
“I have to go to bed.”
‘night Beastly. Spaghetti dreams.
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L’TUAE_42 Jan 3rd, 2007 at 4:32 pm
oh, and i would like to call attention to the fact that a lot of people (….cough…popoff…cough..) have been implying that younger, school age people are all imature and stupid. ie: All the kids must be getting back from break.
Please understand that many of us (at least high school age) are alert and intelligent. I would appreciate it if you could use your extensive brainpower to devise other insults.
Sorry if I’m going all politically correct or picky, it’s just how I feel.
.
Sorry L’TUAE. I don’t understand why you take things so personally? I think I’ve stated before that I thought you were mature?
That comment of mine that you just referenced was directed at “bob”, right above that comment, and at a few others I’ve been sparring with on another forum. It is apparent that the kids are out today.
I haven’t lumped you in with the likes of “bob” you shouldn’t lump yourself in there either.
Ramen
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@L’TUAE_42
You are a wonderful and intelligent addition to this website. Please don’t let TLM and the reaction against him upset you. That is what TLM wants. He is a bit disturbed, but that is why he is appealing.
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Nikkiee, The TLM post referenced is the most coherent post under that name I’ve ever seen.
It certainly isn’t (for example) making claims or accusations about girl-friends and/or personal and/or familial wealth.
So maybe TLM is on the verge of growing up (and most people do that sometime…) or it aint him…
It seems like a week or so ago that no one could even read his posts let alone understand them.
I think someone is making a sham of TLM but failing to be quite so juvenile.
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k guys, I really am sorry, just under a lot of stress lately, and I get irratated at percieved insults. Appolagies all around, ’specially to Popoff.
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DAMN TYPO DEMONS!
I meant “apologies”
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Ok, so has the pansy boi left?
Is it safe for me and my lover to make jokes again?
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Thanks Nikky (I think ;))
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Beastly – I swear I’m not Daffy – I use English spellings and am much more attractive, in a certain light :)
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Booty – well said – btw can’t remember the thread re. interesting insertions :) but do you lot have one of those “interesting XR boxes” You know the one I mean :)
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L’TUAE_42 You make a good point. Age isn’t relevant. It doesn’t matter your age / background / job / colour / sex etc. It’s just that Daffy seems to think he’s superior to others and you have to admit that not all teenagers are pleasant :)
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Here TLM aka pansy boi,
I just found this on another forum, we weren’t even talking abot the CoFSM, but this person summed up the reason for the FSM, spot on.
I am posting it here, because you obviously don’t understand what we stand for, after reading everything you’ve read here. So maybe this persons summery will get it through your thick head! One can hope anyway….
.
.
Right now [the principle of] Satan is trying to corrupt the American universities by introducing creationism into the scientific curriculum. The universities are waging a hard fight to stay free of this religion – for it is – and we should all do all we can to defend the natural sciences. I live in Sweden, study astronomy at the university and I’m happy to say that we have so far managed to stay clear of these problem.
The natural sciences, including evolutionary biology, have nothing to do with being for or against God. That’s not what it is about. To outspokenly bring religion or atheism into it it is always an error. Some scientists believe in God, others don’t, and a few are atheists. In this regard they are like us in general.
.
Thanks to Sven, who I stole that from.
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“btw can’t remember the thread re. interesting insertions :)
http://www.venganza.org/2005/11/25/listen-dumbass-you-think-that.htm
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Hahahaha. Thanks Nikky. Must admit I’d never heard of ’slash’ either. Well, apart from the ugly (er) one from Guns ‘N Roses
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Pic of TLM
http://www.rabid-squirrel.com/
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TLM Jan 3rd, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Pic of TLM
http://www.rabid-squirrel.com/
.
Thanks for explaining yourself, TLM, but I already knew you had your head up your arse.
Nothing new there.
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Come on, guys, TLM is a whacked out teen — we have all been there. I hope he can make friends in the future and have an inspired college career. This would give him hope. TLM, do you get into sports? This might be a way to work through some of this. Nothing like running full speed on a track to get the ya-ya’s out.
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Re-Oared Marc
He says he practices dribbling a bit.
Basketball maybe?
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Pastafaria – the Religion for Everybody
Dear Friendly Friend:
How many times have you wanted to fill that yawning spiritual void in your life but just weren’t able to find the time or the energy? How often have you wanted to form a more personal relationship with a Higher Authority but just couldn’t get turned on by that same old tired selection of Supreme Beings? Haven’t you ever wished there was just one religion out there that understood you, that indulged you, one that fit in with your creative, dynamic lifestyle? Well, at last, thanks to the Creators of Pastafaria, there is. Finally, there’s a faith that works for you, instead of the other way around. After all these years, and following an in-depth market research study, Pastafaria Worldwide (A full-service non-profit agency not affiliated with CBS International) has come up with a religion that draws upon the best features of some of the world’s most popular denominations, but goes them all far better!
Yes, Friend, that’s right! Pastafaria is everything some religions are and much, much more. It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure; it’s a breath mint, and a candy mint; it’s everything you always wanted in a God and less. Designed using the latest in CAR (Computer-Aided Religion) technology, here’s just a few of the features Pastafaria offers:
1. Guaranteed Salvation. Guaranteed. Other religions require you to behave a certain way in the here-and-now in order to make out in the hereafter; with Pastafaria, you can do whatever you want, because your salvation is guaranteed! Pastafaria realizes you’ve got enough to worry about in life without having to be nervous about where you’re headed after you die, so relax! As a Pastafarian, death means never having to have said you’re sorry. Whatever Heaven you want is yours; or if you’d rather just be dead, that’s fine, too.
2. Your Choice of Supreme Being. No more arguing about who’s more all-powerful, Jesus or Mohammed, Buddha or Joseph Smith. Stop fighting about whether Allah could take The Holy Ghost in a wrestling match. End the endless bickering over whether the Supreme Deity is a He or a She. With Pastafaria, you can choose. Using the patented Godolyzer, you make God in your image. Combine Jesus’ hairdo with Mother Nature’s eyes. Add the musical flair of Krishna to the sexual swagger of Zoroaster. You want a Lord who’s vengeful but also knows how to rock? No problem. Using the Godolyzer, with or without the templates provided, you make the call.
3. Eat Whatever You Want. Remember fishsticks on Friday? Or how about unleavened bread? And who–try as they might–can forget “bitter herbs?” Well, now, thanks to Pastafaria, you can. As a Pastafarian, you’ll never have to tongue another eucharist wafer off of your palate or nurse another hangover brought on from sacramental wine again. Glut your maw however you’d like, whenever you’d like. Eat all you want, just want all you take.
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Just got back in for a minute.
Excellent Peter, excellent :)
RAmen
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@Peter Popoff
4. Risk Free. That’s right, you even get a 30-day risk free trial. If you try Pstafaria and don’t think you like it, chances are your old god(unless it’s Anubis or some other pissed of guy) will take you back. Now there’s no worrying about those 3 “easy” payments of eternal service, because you don’t have to lift a finger or pay a dime! You just say “I’m a Pastafarian” and you are!!!
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HAHA, good one Pixel Pete!
Now… Look in my eyes… there’s a party going on inside there.
Ramen
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Morning!
If you are squeamish look away now…..
@ Alchemist – Xray boxes – no, but I know a man who has!
We have to be really careful about these things cos of confidentiality, but there are some people who have got Xrays without names on them of very interesting things!
Funnily enough we should only deal with willies, but we do seem to get an awful lot of odd things up arses as well.
I think my “favourite” has to be the padlocks though – he had 2 – one large one round the “meat and 2 veg” and one round the tip – he had had them there for 6 weeks!!! And had to have them removed before it went gangrenous – ewwwwwww!
I did have a grudging respect for him though as he was a self confessed masochist and didn’t try and pretend he fell on the padlocks while hoovering naked!
At the same time we had a young guy with a ballpoint pen up his arse who was pretending he had been attacked and it was put there – we were all really sympathetic at first until someone from another hospital recognised him and said he was under an assumed name and had done it before with them.
*shrug* takes all sorts I suppose!
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@ Peter Popoff.
I love it! So this means I don’t have to eat garlic bread! Hooray!
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It’s been a while since i have visited the site, but now that i’m back at work i have all the time in the world. I use to laugh at this site but the conversations have gotten so serious. It’s gotten to the point where i love threads left by TLM and the Doughboy guy. These two seem to inspire very interesting and witty banter. I think it’s sad whats happening to Americas youth. I’m only 25 but it seems like the gap between me and these mislead idiots gets larger every day. I remember when i was in high scool. I partied alot and vandalized whatever i could, in true pirate fashion. I didn’t spend all my time on a computer displaying my stupidity for all the world to see. Thats something you do later in life when you’re at work and have nothing better to do. But i guess, the times they are a changin’.
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hi dudes, i find it incredible that people are able to spiritually find themselves, but FOR F*** SAKE, spagetti monster. cumon, r u guys really that gullable?
seriously dudes
i mean its bad enough believing the whole load of s*** and b******s thats in the Bible, but this. well. this is just insane
peace out ‘n’ all that jazz
x x x x
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one more thing . . . YOU GUYS are f***in insane!!!!!!!!1
neway, peace out dudes!
x x x x
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p.s. another thing does any1 no how we get to make a comment that appears on the front page? that cud b useful in gettin through to you wierd spagetti-worshipping, jelly-loving cult of yours!
peace
x x x x
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p.s. another thing does any1 no how we get to make a comment that appears on the front page? that cud b useful in gettin through to you wierd spagetti-worshipping, jelly-loving cult of yours!
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@ Jothemonk
Well, you probably need to swear a bit more and be a bit more incoherant and then Prophet Bobby will bump you up there with all the other morons.
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why certainly, collect your thoughts and send an e-mail to bobby.henderson@gmail.com
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make sure you write everything you want to say.
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jelly lovin’?
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Is this something to do with lube?
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ok, i am literally getting tired of all these people who think that people actually believe in the flying spaghetti monster. it is kinduv losing its humour. for fucks sake it’s a parody site. what the fuck is the matter with you people.
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common, if there’s going to be a criticism, please don’t make it retarded. only the fundies are aloud to be retarded, well, because they’re fundies.
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Huh? This site is a parady site? There is no Flying Spaghetti Monster?
WTF???
Please say it ain’t so!
Now what am I supposed to believe in?
The Wingless Blue moon chicken? Crap! I don’t even like chicken!
This is the saddest day of my life!
I guess the next thing you’ll tell me is TLM aka pansy boi, is really a disgruntled postal worker, and not really a 17 year old at all?
I am lost?
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no, of course there’s an FSM, these bastards just are jealous he’s so tasty.
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The FSM just hasn’t reached the love of the stupid people of the world
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Long live the Wingless Blue Moon Chicken! How did the poor beast lose his wings? Or should I ask.
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jesus christ Jan 4th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
no, of course there’s an FSM, these bastards just are jealous he’s so tasty.
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The FSM just hasn’t reached the love of the stupid people of the world
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Thank FSM! Man I was worried! For sure! Thanks for the affirmation,
jesus christ.
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Oarless Marc Jan 4th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Long live the Wingless Blue Moon Chicken! How did the poor beast lose his wings? Or should I ask.
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Evolution, Marc.
After years of having his wings eaten, he evolved to his wingless state.
Tastes like crap though, even without wings.
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@jothemonk
Learn the word ‘PARODY’ and learn it well.
RAmen
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@Peter Popoff
Once again, Jesus Christ has saved another (temporarily)blinded man from immenent nonbelievetasticity.
That’s right, Jesus Christ was really spreading the word of the FSM.
When he said that he was the son of God, God was really just the guy-whore that Mary banged.
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The Wingless Blue Moon Chicken and his mortal enemy, the Spicy Winged Buffalo, take offense at your reckless mocking of them. They are too just as real as Jesus or the FSM(pbuh).
(According to our texts, the Wingless Blue Moon Chicken gave them to the Buffalo because he pitied the creature. And then the Winged Buffalo sold his wings at restaurants nationwide and thus the Wingless Blue Moon Chicken was envious and demanded a share of the profits.)
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@stogoe
But alas, Colonel Sanders and Popeye were there to take it all from them.
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the wingless blue chicken my have lost his wings because he was even more lazy then the kiwi bird
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jothemonk Jan 4th, 2007 at 10:40 am
p.s. another thing does any1 no how we get to make a comment that appears on the front page? that cud b useful in gettin through to you wierd spagetti-worshipping, jelly-loving cult of yours!
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By the way, how many other ‘jelly-lovers’ are there here?
Me likey jelly!!!
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@ Peter – is this English Jelly or American Jelly?
Not that I don’t like American Jelly (our Jam) but I like our Jelly (American Jello) better :)
And if we are talking Jelly FISH forget it – *shudder*
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KY
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KY
HAHAHAHA
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Me likey all jellies!
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Oh well, specialising as I do in the field of Urology Surgery we certainly get through our fair share of that – and I may have been known to take my work home with me on occasion….actually “Durex Play” is a far superior product though ;)
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I’ll look out for it.
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Booty, what’s wrong with Robinsons Blackcurrent Jam (jelly)? Oh, I know that the seeds can cause problems, but if applied correctly, with butter, it works a treat ;)
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@ jothemonk. – jelly lovers? I’m more of a peanut butter girl myself. But thanks for your intelligent and well thought out comments.
p.s.- LONG LIVE THE GREAT WINGLESS BLUE MOON CHICKEN!!!!!!!!
that was genius^_^
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lol usualy i agree w/ u guys and what u say :( but when i read what UnLaughingBoi wrote and thne read the comments u guys left, i have to admit u all do look a bit foolish. lol that picture of teh guy w/ his head up his ass suer does resemble ULB but when u look at it in the context of waht he wrote u only made him look moer right. my freinds and i from school luv pastafarianism but whn we see that felow pastafarians r acting that stupid we sort of feel ashamed to be part of tihs group :’(
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Thats a shame Susie, at least we grammar well.
Ramen
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lol and u call UnLaughingBoi a stuck up asshole
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:( Peter how old r u? lol i hate ULB but he seems to b right when he says u never realy leave this place
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@Wrench Susie =P\
The responses to TLM are how he wishes the Curch to respond, or haven’t you noticed.
“Ask and thou shalt recieve.”
Out of curiosity how long have you been a Pastafarian?
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@Wrench Susie =P
“:( Peter how old r u? lol i hate ULB but he seems to b right when he says u never realy leave this place”
Wrench Susie, I, myself are curious of your own age and where you learnt to spell?
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Wrench Susie is trying out her training bra and hopes to audition for cheerleader next year. Her mom doesn’t know she uses the word “asshole” and would probably take away her computer if she did know.
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Wrench Susie =P Jan 4th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
:( Peter how old r u? lol i hate ULB but he seems to b right when he says u never realy leave this place
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Hi Susie, I’m eleven years old. Thanks for asking…
I can be found checking in here, between, about two o’clock and ten o’clock, EST.
Do you know what EST is? I just learned it last yesterday.
Ramen
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Oh, and Susie, when you are in college, many years from now, if you write a paper using text message shorthand you will get an “F”. Learn the language, assholette.
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Oh dear Wrench Susie. Not the best start :) Never mind eh. Change ur nme nd strt agn!
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Does anyone want to buy a vowel?
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Vwl? Whts vwl?
I don’t mind abbreviations an stuff. I think that English is a living language etc. It’s just that a form of communication shout be just that. Communication. Not total bollocks!
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Bowels?
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A bit iffy Peter, I overdid the chilli’s tonight. Thanks for asking though. I really did go OTT – it’s bog roll in the fridge for me :(
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Huummm,
popsci dot com links, don’t show up here. Interesting.
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Alchemist—”bog roll in the fridge”
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Hahaha…not heard that one in donkeys years. thanks
RAmen
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Olive Oil and cotton wool for sore bottoms – works a treat!
I haven’t tried blackcurrant jam I must admit, interesting. With butter? And what do the healthy eating sites have to say about that?! ;)
Havign spent some time trying to get sand out of interesting places after beach holidays I am not sure I want to go down the seeds route – besides I might get a blackcurrant bush growing out of there, and that would be just plain embarrassing.
Why can’t people get the hang of the fact that txtspk is for mobile phones and the odd messaging site and most other places just use it sparingly to emphasise a point?
All together now…”The youth of today!”
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“The youth of today’
I don’t know, the kids today just don’t know how good they got it!!
In my day we had to walk miles through the snow to get stoned and have sex!
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wRench Susie? Hey, i’m Dutch, but my English is a bit better than that. I looked up wrench in my English dictionary (standard on the pc) and apparantly it’s a tool. Are you Susie?
Booty, text-speak in the Netherlands is even worse. It’s a mixture of abreviated English and Dutch mixed with other languages, horrible.
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Susie’s a tool? Could be TLMs girlfriend.
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yep, his right hand alright.
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@DutchPastaGirl.
That sounds fun – not!
Yes, a wrench is a sort of spanner type thing – difficult to describe really, especially because I am such a girl! Or it means to pull something hard, similar to how the others are using “tool” ;)
@Beastly Rich – there is nothing wrong with being left-handed you know!
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I just wanted to put in my two cents about jellies. I am a die hard Astroglide man myself. I’ve tried other stuff but nothing else measures up. And always ALWAYS stay away from the heating stuff…. it sucks
Dr. Worm
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@Dr Worm.
Have to agree with you on the heat stuff – it ITCHES terribly! (and not in a good way!)
Haven’t heard of Astroglide – is that American?
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Oh, and when it says be careful not to use massage oil that isn’t for intimate use LISTEN TO THEM! ;)
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“Learn the language, assholette.”….I love this one! Good Stuff. I see she hasn’t come back for more, yet.
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@Booty
yes astroglide is American, it might be spelled Astroglyde, im not sure. The stuff is great, i think it was developed by NASA for some reason and now it’s used as lube. I know it sounds like a joke but i’m serious. I may be wrong but thats what i heard. It’s suppose to be the closest thing to natrual lube and a little bit goes a long way. If anyone has any info on it being or not being developed by NASA let me know. But seriously….. get some
Dr. Worm
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http://www.condomsdirect.co.uk/cgi-win/Shop.exe/Lubricants?GKW=astroglide
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here we are, ohh, long lasting.
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Thanks!
I use the “play” stuff a bit further down at the moment, but when that lot runs out I just might have to try something new ;)
*Insert corny joke about touching the stars here*
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Good Lord! All this time I thought “Astroglides” was a surf music band… http://www.theastroglides.com/
That’s the trouble with with knowing only one language – it changes while I don’t.
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Forget the stripper factory.
My heaven consists of; Beer volcanoes, TLM, Susie Wrench, myself and a fifty five gallon drum of Astroglide.
Now that’s heaven!
Ramen
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Booty Jan 5th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Oh, and when it says be careful not to use massage oil that isn’t for intimate use LISTEN TO THEM! ;)
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You haven’t really lived until you’ve tried Mentholatum Ointment.
Oh yeah!
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THIS WEBSITE IS SO STUPID YOU SHOULD BE SHOT
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Mentholatum? If that stuff’s like Fiery Jack you might as well just stick it in the oven. Ah, brings back memories of school – I need a drink.
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Shot of what Bob? Got any JD?
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Hi Bobby,
As always, your input is priceless!
Thank you.
Ramen
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Hey! Bob Smith! Go play in the street. Once again, another drive-by-post from a chicken sh*t christian too afraid to stay and debate. The world is full of tossers like you, unfortunately. (how’d you like the use of British slang?) Bob Smith, you are hereby known as ‘Anonymous jerk poster #1,876,902′. Thanks for your input.
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We need a fundie drive here! I think everybody should print some flyers, don your best pirate suit. And go to your local church this weekend, pass out the flyers, and tell the good christians, about this heathen site. And ask them to please come and save us.
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