Get a bible…and read it throughly
Stop being stupid
God is our maker
leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
and to the comment above me, that was god hoping to help.
I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic belief.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven.
Get a bible and read it throughly
Published by Bobby Henderson December 28th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 926 Comments
926 Responses to “Get a bible and read it throughly”
Wow. If I were a Christian, wouldn’t there be only one judge? To love, be kind, giving, and to understand (discern) the Bible (God’s Word); living a life for Him — probably because that is the least one could do because He died for us.
If I weren’t a Christian, why would I take a chance? Would I still not try to be a servant of others, giving oneself the true joy of unselfishness? To love others. I would also ask, why do Christians get looked upon (or evaluated) or tested in misguided context? Why do some Christians try to speak it instead of just living it?
What if we took the plank out of our own eye before we start plucking the speck out of someone else’s eye?
So as non believers and believers of Jesus, there is no need to judge or to get bogged down in little things because it is probably really simple. If you’re like me, there’s a lot of questions I would love to ask Jesus. Maybe one day.
Maybe I’ll start today or tomorrow. Or should of I started yesterday?
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Oooh Mike. Not being a little condescending there are you?
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@ Alchemist- the list is in my mind. I don’t leave a paper trail.
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Mike, if people took the planck out of thier own eye first, the world would be a better place. And I do sugest you start today.
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what use is a plank in the eye? surely it should be poking out the scuppers so the bilge rats and land lubbers can take a short walk?
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“Dr.Worm Jan 12th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
I really wish people would send more hate mail, this thread is getting way too long and bogged down. It takes forever to load and scroll through. I guess i’m not surprised at the lack of hate mail though, how could anyone hate spaghetti?
Dr. Worm”
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Dr Worm, I totally agree with you that we need more hatemail.
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But I also think you need to grow a sense of humor, you’d be happier if you did.
Ramen
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PONDERISMS
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* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
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* Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a valuable plant.
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* The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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* Life is sexually transmitted.
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* Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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* Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
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* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays absolutely no attention to criticism.
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* In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..
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* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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* You have to wonder about the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out…”
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* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
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* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
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* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
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* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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* Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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hahahaha. Afternoon Peter. I was hoping Mike would come back. That Millsy character bugged out as well. Do I smell?
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Guys,
Unless someone is playing dopplegangers Dr. Worm has joined us!
9th Jan 10:02pm:I am a Christian.
12th Jan 3:36pm:how could anyone hate spaghetti?
RAmen Dr.Worm has been touched by his noodly appendage.
It really can happen through the power of the FSM!
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Daniel said: I have an agape love for all mankind
Tee Hee. He said his ‘love’ was agape for all mankind!
You go guy! We’re a very liberal church and I’m sure someone will offer to help you out.
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I’m not.
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Captain. Well spotted. I like Dr Worm, he would be a valuable asset in our quest for galactic supremacy.
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I wish Mike would come back. Why is it that some folks drop a comment like that and bugger off. It’s like farting in a lift just as you get out.
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No Rich, I guess you’d post as ‘Buggery Rich’ if you were interested.
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LOL!
Hi all!
YOu’ll have to excuse me a bit tonight, my brain is bleeding from that BBC blog thing I have just read all the way through – argh!
Are we going for galactic supremacy now? Cool – which galaxy?
So when do we get to do the training in Florida?
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Alchemist,
I think Mike actually went away happy.
I think Dr.Worm might be the same – TBHNA.
Daniel is also showing liberal tendencies and getting in touch with his sexuality.
So many people seem to leave more positive about us than when they came.
Except TLM of course, but you can’t please everyone and it is hard to live up to the standards of someone whose relatives have lighting in their pool…
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Ah, but TLM got more in touch with his feeligns towards his girlfriend by talking to us, and he was happy for Peter and Alchemist, which was particularly touching IMHO.
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Feelings that should have read! Argh!
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You’re right. We even helped TLM!
We’re great!
RAmen.
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Hehehe Booty and a good evening to you! Why not the galaxy – it’s much nicer than dairy milk!
Well done with the BBC blog BTW. I got through about twenty posts before shouting “your not fucking listening are you” at the laptop. It drives me absolutely stark staring mad. The “I’ve got an opinion!” “yes, but why do you hold that opinion?” “I’m right!” “why?” “because, that’s why” aaaarrrrghhh!
I’ve said before that I’ve got a friend with schizophrenia. It’s like arguing with him
“I’m Germanic!”… “er, why. You were born in Manchester?” ..”because I’m a Goth” .. “Right, er, how does that make you Germanic?” …”Goths are Germanic and I’m left handed – and left handed people are sinister! Think about it!”…”It doesn’t mean sinister in the way you think”…”oh, you calling me a liar?”
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Aaargh!
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Oh yes indeedy. :)
Now make sure you are wearing your lead apron when you are doing the “baking” you don’t want to spill any now!
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Hahahaha Booty. Yes Daffodil does seem to hold a special place in his heart for me and Peter. I was hoping that the Millsy character would fill the void that TLMs passing has left! Ah well. I blame that Pandora for opening her box :)
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Evening Alchemist!
Why thank you! I kind of wish I hadn’t though – that is several hours of my life I won’t see again!
LOL at your friend (sorry, I know schizophrenia isn’t funny before someone tells me off) but I am left-handed, along with my husband and one of our two kids – and it does lead to some interesting conversations!
My favourite is the patients at work “Oh! Are you left-handed?”
“No, I just use this hand to really piss myself off!” Grrrrrr!
Or the lovely “Cack-handed” from people who are very alarmed when you round on them for swearing at you cos they don’t know what it means!
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@Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 13th, 2007 at 3:08 pm, LOL!
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hahaha Booty. I use my right hand for the important things in life :) but use my left hand nearly as much. I’m not ambidextrous (cue joke). I can sort of write left handed but not too well. Believe it or not, I can write with my feet! I can also light my farts, belch the national anthem, put a cigarette out on my tongue, down a pint in 6 seconds and drink Canada Dry (cue other sad joke). Ha, and people used to complain about student grants – see what your taxes created :)
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Oh dear! My brother and sister both did uni in the good old days when it was just an excuse to piss your grant money up the wall – I did nursing, with just as much, if not more beer, as we got paid! but we actually had to work as well, which was a bit of a pisser! Still, I learned some interesting tricks too – such as how to get gullible city workers to keep you supplied with beer all night in the mistaken belief they will get you drunk enough to sleep with them!
Do you know all the words to the national anthem though? ;)
Ewwwwwww! I have a real thing about feet and being able to use them for anything other than walking – are you lower down the evolutionary ladder or something? ;)
(my husband and BOTH children insist on doing disgusting things with their feet – like wiggling their toes independantly – now that MUST prove evolution is wrong! ;) )
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Alchemist,
Sorry it too so long to reply. I’m kinda busy with lots of junk right now. I would like to answer your reply to prayer. Many peple belive prayer is not answered becuase they do not see the effects in the way they expected them. I myself rarely see the effects as I expected them, but there is a good outcome in the end. One may believe this to be mere coincidence. But isn’t it quite obvious Christians do not believe in the words coincidence or random? Coincidence is a term that contradicts what Christians blieve. It all coincides with how God knows things will end up, but we pray because we have faith. This conversation can go nowhere except to thebasic fundamental conflict within Athiest/Agonistic minds that God contradicts himself by being all knowing and all loving and all powerful at the sametime. But I believe that God does love every one of us, and it is our CHOICE to follow or not to follow. If God were to save us all there would be no point to having faith and trust in him because there would be no reason to. So you all may be confused by my beliefs, but that’s ok. You are still all very important people on this Earth and you all still have much to do. How you chooseto live your life is up to you. You may question my reationship with Jesus Christ, or think I am crazy because I base my life on faith rather than “facts” that you believe to be true, bt that’s ok. I will still live my life and enjoy it to the fullest in my Jesus. Again, thank you for being kind to me despite my differenciating views. Some of you that have posted seem to be very nice people. :)
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Daniel,
Do you not have the conflict in your mind that how can God be all knowing all loving all powerful and still let appalling things happen to entirely innocent people?
Remember we see you as living your life on faith in contradiction the manifest facts. It isn’t an “I’ve got faith – I don’t need facts” thing its a “I’ve got faith I am therefore allowed to ignore the facts” thing. I really can’t respect that. It’s just silly and childish.
We call that denial and it isn’t very often considered healthy.
I certainly think your method of faith against fact is entirely unacceptable one to in any way influence a system of government.
I certainly wouldn’t allow you to make an decisions or give me any guidance with such a wreckless, immature and naive attitude to facts.
Even in the realm of faith there are many thousands of people around the world who believe that if we chose to operate on faith it is still more likely that the world was created by a flying spaghetti monster than Jesuses daddy.
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@Booty Jan 13th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Perhaps you have a thing about feet because you don’t get to see yours very often.
They are down there remember!
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Captain! That is just plain rude! I see my feet regularly when I am laying down with my legs up in the air!
A friend said when I was first pregnant that I couldn’t see my feet anymore – I replied that I hadn’t seen them since I was 13! ;)
You may have a point though…..
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Booty, And the thing to do when lying on your back with your legs in the air is look at your feet?
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Among other things!
Usually they are a bit wrapped round my ears though, so it is tricky!
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Booty Jan 14th, 2007 at 4:42 am
Captain! That is just plain rude! I see my feet regularly when I am laying down with my legs up in the air!
A friend said when I was first pregnant that I couldn’t see my feet anymore – I replied that I hadn’t seen them since I was 13! ;)
You may have a point though…..
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Booty! I love you! hahahahahaha
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Daniel, I love you too!
And I’m happy you are secure in your faith, and don’t try to push it on others.
You’re Ok dude!
Ramen
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I love you too Peter! :) (Which sounds rather odd, because my husband is called Peter!)
Got to go – we are cleaning out the cellar and I have just got turpentine everywhere – head gone bye byes now! :)
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I must say, though, to get us back on track, “Get a bible and read it throughly†is one of my favorite thread headings ever. It is just so funny on so many different levels.
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We all know, there is no such thing of god. How many mericles do you see in our modern day? Do you see any water turning to wine? do you actually see jesus without using a drug to halluncinate? the anwser is simple…NO.
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In the last time there will be ridiculers, proceeding according to their own desires for ungodly things.’ These are the ones that make separations, animalistic men, not having spirituality. Guard what is laid up in trust with you, turning away from the empty speeches that violate what is holy and from the contradictions of the falsely called knowledge. For making a show of such knowledge some have deviated from the faith. The inspired utterance says definitely that in later periods some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to misleading inspired utterances and teachings of demons. By the hypocrisy of men who speak lies, marked in their conscience as with a branding iron. Also, with covetousness they will exploit you with counterfeit words. However, as for them, the judgment from of old is not moving slowly, and the destruction of them is not slumbering.
The senseless one will no longer be called generous; and as for the unprincipled man, he will not be said to be noble; because the senseless one himself will speak mere senselessness, and his very heart will work at what is hurtful, to work at apostasy and to speak against Jehovah what is wayward, to cause the soul of the hungry to go empty, and he causes even the thirsty to go without drink itself. As for the unprincipled man, his instruments are bad; he himself has given counsel for acts of loose conduct, to wreck the afflicted ones with false sayings, even when someone poor speaks what is right. But shun empty speeches that violate what is holy; for they will advance to more and more ungodliness, and their word will spread like gangrene. These very men have deviated from the truth, and they are subverting the faith of some. For all that, the solid foundation of God stays standing, having this seal: Jehovah knows those who belong to him, and: Let everyone naming the name of Jehovah renounce unrighteousness. For, look! The wicked ones themselves bend the bow; they do make ready their arrow upon the bowstring, to shoot in the gloom at the ones upright in heart. Why is it that the wicked one has disrespected God? He has said in his heart: You will not require an accounting.
For it is impossible as regards those who have once for all been enlightened, and who have tasted the heavenly free gift, and who have become partakers of holy spirit, and who have tasted the fine word of God and powers of the coming system of things, but who have fallen away, to revive them again to repentance, because they impale the Son of God afresh for themselves and expose him to public shame. Woe to the world due to the stumbling blocks! Of course, the stumbling blocks must of necessity come, but woe to the man through whom the stumbling block comes! Woe to you, hypocrites! Because you shut up the kingdom of the heavens before men; for you yourselves do not go in, neither do you permit those on their way in to go in. Woe to you, hypocrites! because you traverse sea and dry land to make one proselyte, and when he becomes one you make him a subject for Gehenna twice as much so as yourselves. As regards the wicked, they will be cut off from the very earth; and as for the treacherous, they will be torn away from it. For the ways of man are in front of the eyes of Jehovah, and he is contemplating all his tracks. His own errors will catch the wicked one, and in the ropes of his own sin he will be taken hold of. He will be the one to die because there is no discipline, and because in the abundance of his foolishness he goes astray. Now when someone righteous turns back from his righteousness and actually does injustice; according to all the detestable things that the wicked one has done he keeps doing and he is living, none of all his righteous acts that he has done will be remembered. For his unfaithfulness that he has committed and for his sin with which he has sinned, for them he will die.
I shall finish off earthling man and beast. I shall finish off the flying creature of the heavens and the fishes of the sea, and the stumbling blocks with the wicked ones; and I will cut off mankind from the surface of the ground, is the utterance of Jehovah. And those who are drawing back from following Jehovah and who have not sought Jehovah and have not inquired of him. Now shortly I shall pour out my rage upon you, and I will bring my anger against you to its finish, and I will judge you according to your ways and bring upon you all your detestable things. Neither will my eye feel sorry nor shall I feel compassion. According to your ways shall I do the bringing upon you yourself, and your own detestable things will come to be right in the midst of you; and you will have to know that I am Jehovah doing the smiting. You will have to know that I am Jehovah, because in my regulations, you did not walk and my judgments you did not do, but according to the judgments of the nations that are round about you, you have done. I will rip away your veils and deliver my people out of your hand, and they will no more prove to be in your hand something caught in the hunt; and you will have to know that I am Jehovah. Just as I put myself on judgment with your forefathers in the wilderness of the land of Egypt, so I shall put myself on judgment with you,’ is the utterance of the Sovereign Lord Jehovah. I will make you pass under the rod and bring you into the bond of the covenant. Moreover, I will clean out from you the rebellious ones and the transgressors against me, for out of the land of their alien residence I shall bring them forth, but onto the soil of Israel, they will not come; and you will have to know that I am Jehovah. Look! The windstorm of Jehovah, rage itself, will certainly go forth, even a whirling tempest. Upon the head of the wicked ones it will whirl itself. The anger of Jehovah will not turn back until he will have carried out and until he will have made the ideas of his heart come true. Now, what interest do I have here? Is the utterance of Jehovah. For my people were taken for nothing. The very ones ruling over them kept howling, is the utterance of Jehovah, and constantly, all day long, my name was being treated with disrespect. For that reason my people will know my name, even for that reason in that day, because I am the One that is speaking. Look! It is I. ‘Upon the surface of the field you will fall, for I myself have spoken,’ is the utterance of the Sovereign Lord Jehovah. ‘And I will send fire upon Magog and upon those who are inhabiting the islands in security; and people will have to know that I am Jehovah. And my holy name I shall make known in the midst of my people Israel.
Go, because the words are made secret and sealed up until the time of the end. Many will cleanse themselves and whiten themselves and will be refined. Moreover, the wicked ones will certainly act wickedly, and no wicked ones at all will understand; but the ones having insight will understand.
I shall no more let my holy name be
Profaned and the nations will
Have to know that
I am Jehovah
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Yeah. We got that. Now piss off!
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i rebuke thee, YHWH, in the name of almighty FSM.
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btw, how did the war crimes trial go, you genocidal monster?
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I say, anybody that can see their feet, whilst they are up around their ears!
Is Ok in my book!
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That Almight God can turn it on and turn it out can’t he!
I’ve just been doting around on the internet and I don’t think that has all be gathered from one place.
It seems to have been taken from all over the bible.
It’s proper hellfire and damnation gobshite. Or is that godshite?
I think we’ve got ourselves a proper full on 100% bible bashing nut-case.
Pretty cool whatever it is. I wonder if he does T-Shirts….
I hope we can turn him to the CoFSM, I dig his prose style!
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I think it would take one serious egomaniac to declare him(her?)self Almighty God. of course, we’ve had our share here before. dunno about the rest of you, but I’ll never forget BLR.
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Re-Oared Mark,
I love the title of this discussion too.
I also can’t find anyone actually paying any attention to the topic since 28 December until you brought it up again!
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I will. Who was BLR?
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Homo narrans Jan 14th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I think it would take one serious egomaniac to declare him(her?)self Almighty God. of course, we’ve had our share here before. dunno about the rest of you, but I’ll never forget BLR.”
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My all time favorite was, Dr Mike PHD MS PCP LSD THC
That guy had it together.
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Why thank you Peter – it takes a lot of practice ;)
I am sorry if people think I was misdirecting the thread – there weren’t any fundies and I was bored!
That was one heck of a Bible rant, but I am afraid I got bored and stopped reading halfway through – I think it was somewhere around the “wicked people not listening” bit!
Oh well, I don’t like jealousy – don’t really want a jealous God who can’t cope with competition.
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OK who mentioned the “B” acronym that shall not be mentioned?
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@Almighty God Jan 14th, 2007 at 11:34 am
Is your word so weak that you have to go to other church sites and try and force yourself on people? Forcing your beliefs onto others is akin to mental rape you know?
How dare you, you pompous holier than thou wanker!
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Now don’t beat about the bush Nikkiee – tell him what you really think ;)
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edit
“holier than thou EGOTISTICAL wanker”
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Watch out there god, ya done pissed off the Wenches now.
Wouldn’t want to be you! No sir…
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Having a nice day Nikkiee?
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