Get a bible…and read it throughly
Stop being stupid
God is our maker
leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
and to the comment above me, that was god hoping to help.
I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic belief.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven.
Get a bible and read it throughly
Published by Bobby Henderson December 28th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 926 Comments
926 Responses to “Get a bible and read it throughly”
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oh n another thing . . . why under languages at the top-right hand of the page is there an american flag?-when the language is f***in English
i mean its not like u bl***y americans made the language – its our f***in language dudes. make it a british flag u f***in flag-hogs!
jo x x x x
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u may hav destroyed the language but its not ur language to claim – f***in ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Chill jo. Anyway, you can’t really call what those bloody yanks speak the Queen’s English now can you?
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(Just kidding Peter and co ;p)
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While your here though, why not take the time to sign the letter2ted? Help support an outed minister in his (2 months now I think) of need. Sign up at http://www.letter2ted.org
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That’s not british spelling for a start!
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As for your question, wholegrain, go with the complex carbs!
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Ahhh! Why did dan have to show up after I went to bed!
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I bet he ain’t coming back either! Why do so many fudies think that the reason we don’t believe is ignorance. I don’t think they understand that we don’t believe because we HAVE read the bible.
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@ Daniel
Kind of a long post, started rambling, sorry for that.
Most of this has been said before, in other ways, but, why do you feel the need to tell us you’re praying for us? I understand why you may want to, although not really knowing any of us, how can you really care about us? Before I started thinking about what I believed (ie. became atheist) I used to pray for my friends, but I never told them because I knew that they would most likely have asked me not to.
Please don’t expect really clear-cut examples of what causes people to loose faith either, it’s an incredibly annoying question and a gradual process (for me at any rate) anyway.
You are a very rare kind of christian visiter to this site though, polite and not threatening us with brimstone, as long as you continue in the same spirit, there are very few people here who will insult you/you’re intelligence, the amount of unsubstansiated stories you’re willing to believe will most likely be mocked though.
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lol, wel ‘jingle’ i wil sign that letter in a bit. Gosh! this is 1 crazy religion, aint it?
jo x x x
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what a f**king PARTY POOPER!!!-monica
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oiyhdkigh
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look out!
Gibberish!
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Daniel–Well, usually I hate people who say they’ll ‘pray for me’, because my salvation is really none of their buissness, but if you really want to then have fun. Not sure where it’ll get ya, buut.
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Oh, and thanks for at the very least being polite. Always nice to see.
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I am loving this new name…
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Which didn’t even come through! Argh. That was stupid.
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mine keeps going as well
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Daniel. My previous comment wasn’t meant to be a personal insult by the way. It’s just that I’ve heard the phrase “As a Christian..” so many times.
A couple of serious questions before I descend into my usual stupidity.
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Believe it or not, I used to be a Christian. I always had trouble with the Book of Genesis. I took it as allegory – that “Days” meant some amount of time. Not a day but an epoch. In a way I used something similar to the ID folks use now.
When I said this I was told it was literal and “ah, you have to ask WHY God took 6 days when he could have done it in the blink of an eye?”
So I did.
I never got an answer. So, why six days?
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To further confuse me, in John’s Revelation, he talks of years (1000 year reign etc). Apparently these are NOT years, but relate to a period of time undisclosed.
So, in your opinion, which of these conflicting views are correct. Literal or allegorical?
Should I make my woman sleep outside of my tent when she menstruates, or should I interpret that?
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Actually, my problems start with Genesis, right through Judges, turn left at Kings, stop at Zephaniah and end at Revelations. You’d be amazed how many people on here have read the Bible thoroughly.
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One last question – it’s probably been asked before. Why The Good News Bible, The King James, The NIV etc? Why are they slightly different?
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Would the real Bible please stand up. “Bible, you are hereby accused of Inciting Racial Hatred, Incitement to Murder and Crimes Against Humanity! How plead you?
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Oh my Alchemist!
What’s the idea, talking all smart and stuff?
You’re scaring me with all that there knowledge, an’
questions an’ stuff. Oh my!
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Don’t worry Peter, I won’t make a habit of it :) I was supposed to be working on a report today. Seem to have posted more than ever. Usual work avoidance technique, picket up the habit years ago.
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Stick around. A little poppet called Millsy posted earlier. I invited him to tea at 1800GMT (ten mins) I’m a bit suss. but hell, he could be fun
see
Millsy Jan 10th, 2007 at 7:50 am
http://www.venganza.org/about/frequently-asked-questions/#comment-36394
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I’m going to start by agreeing with severla posters already. I am fed up with people “praying for me” i find it highly offensive, I don’t believe in it, so please leave my spiritual well being alone and step away from my consciousness.
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Perhaps i could return the favour by “thinking for you” as anyone who seriously believes any religion obviously needs help with that aspect? I am now firmly of the opinion that there is no safe background level of religion. It is toxic in the extreme and pollutes our ability to think rationally. If this offends, first, think why it offends you before complaining. Come up with a better reason than it upsets my religion, because frankly your (any) religion drives me mad…..
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RAmen Spider!
I loved the phrase someone came up with a while back….
Don’t pray in my school and I won’t think in your church!
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Daniel; The idea that I need to be in someone’s thoughts or prayers certainly suggests that I am doing something wrong, or that my ’soul’ needs to be saved. Think of the Church of FSM as your local Pulaski Club. You know it exists, you have an idea what goes on there, but you can’t quite remember exactly where it is, or who goes there and why. Left to our own, we’d rarely be noticed. We’d go on about our business without any bother. But, insult us, or tell us what to believe, or how to worship, or that we are going to hell because we don’t believe in what you do….or that you will pray for our depraved souls….we have to listen to our president spout ‘good and evil’ BS, and say that athiests aren’t citizens. We have to endure bombs and suicidal maniacs trying to kill us because our god has a different name than their god. Take your christian catch-phrases and SHOVE them. You came here, you posted here. I didn’t come to your church and tell you about his Noodly Goodness. I don’t need you to pray for me, or love me in the name of your religion. If, IF you wanted to respect me as a person; IF you believed I was your brother, for no other reason than we are both living creatures, that’s different. Don’t view me as less than you because you are christian.
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RAman Maxwell.
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Somebody left a soap box just sitting there. I had to stand on it for just a moment.
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Hahahaha. You go for it :)
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I’m still not sure why everyone says it’s illogical to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. A large part of the world believe in an invisible man who lives on a cloud and watches everything you do, and will send you to a place full of fire and brimstone if you’re a bad person. I pick FSM and the beer volcano.
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So Booty,
Did you get your co-worker to see the light?
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I have started her off in the right direction, but she reckoned that yesterday’s little chat had left her with a headache which she still had, so I went a bit easy on her – me and some others spent the time (we were really quiet today) talking about anal sex, rampant rabbits, polygamous relationships and why “marriage” type relationships – ie one partner for life – are really impractical and go against our nature!
I don’t think she was terribly impressed – she buried herself in the computer and ignored us all morning!!!
I lent her “The Selfish Gene” (The God Delusion should arrive tomorrow – I have ordered it from Amazon) but she read the intro and said it was a bit too intellectual for her, but she would try to read some bits – says it all really!
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Does anyone know if it is against our religion to throw cold buckets of water at foxes?
I got woken up by one at 5:20 this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep!
If it does it again tonight I am not going to be impressed!
I am off for an early night!
Have fun everyone!
I take it Daniel didn’t turn up again – has anyone checked the Lions den?
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“Booty Jan 10th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Does anyone know if it is against our religion to throw cold buckets of water at foxes?”
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The FSM has seen fit to provide me with a .22 rifle for just this thing!
So yeah, I think throwing water is Ok!
Ramen
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@Booty Jan 10th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
“I take it Daniel didn’t turn up again – has anyone checked the Lions den?”
Lions Den? You mean this one?
http://www.cooktowntours.com/blackmt.htm
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@Peter – oh good! I shall get the bucket handy.
Little buggers!
@ Nikkiee – Could be – is that near you? Can you book us in for when our ship arrives? It looks nice!
(It was a very lame joke – I do apologise, I need my bed, but I got distracted by the telly! – will go and get some sleep and promise to try and be less lame tomorrow!
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ohh! what are the shiny black stones?
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@Booty Jan 10th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
“Could be – is that near you? Can you book us in for when our ship arrives? It looks nice!”
It’s in Nth Queensland. ( one of natures great gardens) Quite a well known drinking pub. I haven’t been there, but apparently the walls are covered in paraphenalia donated by locals and backpackers. I forget just how many articles of underwear (mostly bras I believe) have been donated by overseas backpackers. Mostly donated in situ.
Also, on your way past, pick this up for the ships armoury.
http://www.cooktown.com/pic_cannon.html
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What were the russians doing near auz?
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@ Daniel- I really don’t know what I can say that hasn’t been said before, but I will have to agree on the praying for me part. Really, it’ll just waste your time but if you really want to then hey, who am I to say no? You are obviously a good representative of your faith, so thanks for being so very polite and nice. I could rebuke a few of my fellows here, you know. I thought it was “post and post alike”? He’s not insulting us you know.
Then again I’ve been know to “occasionaly” get on my soapbox too. Well… er.. bit more than ocasionaly, actually. Rather often in fact…
Anyway, Daniel, may you forever be touched by his Noodly Apendage.
RAmen
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Get A Life and live it thoroughly and stop being stupid by beleiving that “Bible”, its a weapon of Mass Destruction.
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Ramen… Ex-Abused Fundamentalist Christian.
But I for one think that everybody should “Get a bible…and read it throughly”
That way, they’ll have a full understanding of the lord, and his work.
Ramen
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Yes, Peter as you can imagine, I have read it as it was force fed to me by my family. However, I imagine most of the population believing in this work of fiction have not really read anything except for a few well-known passages. My Catholic ex-wife became a devout atheist after taking a Religion course in college and after reading “the Bible”. I thought that just about summed up enlightenment related to reading & knowledge.
Fettucine per favore.
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hahaha
“a few well-known passages”
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Thats why I say read it completely.
The christians seem to only read what pleases them, and that’s what screws up the whole deal. If you ask me. It’s all or nothing IMO.
Ramen
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Yes, selective & hypocrisy are words that come to mind once they start interpreting the “Bible”. LOL.
Penne.
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Maxwell, I do not know how farmiliar you are with prayer so I will not assume anything, but I pray for many people, Christian and non-Christian alike. It is not exclusive to those who do not belive as I do or are sinning. i.e. I pray often simply that my friends will have a good day and that they will not let any bad situations get them down. So please do not think that I am singling you out because of your faith, or lack there of(whichever way you see it). I am simply adding you to the people I already pray about for various reasons.
Alchemist, I apologize for the use of the pharase, “As a Christian…” I recognize the obvious flaw in this and actually I thank you for pointing it out to me. All human beings are capable of love. My love is not in any way above yours or anyone elses, so I am sorry if I came across taht way. I have seen many who are not Christians show more love than those that are. This is disappointing fo me when I see those Christians behaving less Christ like than my unsaved friends. I know that I try to show love to my fellow man though as much as I can.
I do not believe the Bible is allegorical. I do believe there is much confusion in interpretation though and I also believe most of the deate and unrest within the church itself is a result o the different interpretatios of various people. This problem is more than likely rooted in the fact that today a majority of people read their translation in english. I am not fluent in the original languages that the bible was written in, but I would like to learn because there are some words that simply cannot be translated correctly.
I want to make it clear also that I do not in any way see a perfect church in society today. I recognize the flaws, but I also recognize the fact that the bible says all men have sinned and all have flaws so to suggest the problem with church is it is imprefect is silly to ask of the religion when the bible states the church cannot achieve perfection becuase of the presence of sin. I apologize for becoming somewhat “longwinded” or a bit preachy. I merely want to express my persoal views more clear to you.
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Welcome back Daniel.
You point out Christianity’s own flaws very nicely.
Keep at it and you will find many more, and possibly come to the conlusion we all have – that it was created by a bunch of primitive humans who saw death and illness and were scared and came up with an idea to comfort everyone – then a few powerful people took the idea and changed it to fit their agenda and it got little bits changed down the generations until we end up with the mishmash of myths, social control and downright nasty genocidal stuff that is in it today.
There is a right interpretation, but it isn’t what you are thinking of – there is no way to make the “nasty” bits seem reasonable or nice – they just were a product of their time – but I, for one can’t believe that a completely good divine being would advocate bashing anybody’s babies against rocks – that was the product of a genocidal fanaticism which only religion (in the organisational sense, not the spiritual sense) and national pride can come up with.
Good luck with your reading – make sure you read all of it.
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I blog with some very interesting people. I have noticed that a few people put up a wall when it comes to even discussing religion. One person was so outraged that they set their blog so no one could comment on her quotes from the bible. We (my friends and family) at least a few, welcome the religious people to debate. I found that a few are very intolerant of anyone else’s views. A person can pray and keep praying for someone (to do what precisely?) and it doesn’t make a difference, if the person they are praying for doesn’t believe in a god. Doesn’t a person have to go to church and be “saved” to go to heaven? How in the world are they going to go to heaven if they don’t go to church and be saved? Do you get my point? I am really new to religion and the bible, I spent my time taking care of 4 children, didn’t have time for much. But I do believe the teachings of FSM and I made an image of him and sent in pictures! lol! Also, I love to read all the comments from you guys, you are hilarious and you make my day! Keep up the good work. Ramen!
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Hi Tina!
Welcome to the mad house – I mean ship! The galley is down that way with a very large beer fridge! Which you must certainly need with 4 kids!
Good point about the praying – I hadn’t thought of that – I suppose they are praying that we will be “saved” so then it will be worth their while (I don’t really want them to be saved – all the more beer for me ;) )
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Hi Daniel. I must agree that you make a welcome change from the usual ” U WIL BERN In HEL U FAGeRTZ” response that seems all too common. I often wonder how people get hold of computers on locked wards?
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Peter, Booty and Penne are spot on – all or nothing. The book of Leviticus is always a good place to start.
There are so many contradictions in the Bible. I won’t even begin to list them, there are plenty of internet sites that do.
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Try http://www.wordwiz72.com/bible.html
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Not all of these contradictions can be blamed on transcription or translation errors. Even so, if the Bible is the word of God, why has he allowed these errors to accumulate?
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Lastly, Daniel, I don’t mind in the least if you pray for me. I have prayed in the past and not one prayer was answered. I wasn’t praying for personal gain either (well, not all the time;)).
Have you ever known a prayer to be answered? In a way that cannot be explained away by coincidence. I haven’t. Of course there are get-out clauses – “God did answer you, he just said no.” or “you must have an unconfessed sin that you don’t know about!” Phew – get out of that one eh!
Anyway, all the best.
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“Alchemist Jan 11th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Hi Daniel. I must agree that you make a welcome change from the usual †U WIL BERN In HEL U FAGeRTZ†response that seems all too common. I often wonder how people get hold of computers on locked wards?
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Peter, Booty and Penne are spot on – all or nothing. The book of Leviticus is always a good place to start.
There are so many contradictions in the Bible. I won’t even begin to list them, there are plenty of internet sites that do.
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Try http://www.wordwiz72.com/bible.html
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Not all of these contradictions can be blamed on transcription or translation errors. Even so, if the Bible is the word of God, why has he allowed these errors to accumulate?
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Lastly, Daniel, I don’t mind in the least if you pray for me. I have prayed in the past and not one prayer was answered. I wasn’t praying for personal gain either (well, not all the time;)).
Have you ever known a prayer to be answered? In a way that cannot be explained away by coincidence. I haven’t. Of course there are get-out clauses – “God did answer you, he just said no.†or “you must have an unconfessed sin that you don’t know about!†Phew – get out of that one eh!
Anyway, all the best.”
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Oh crap! I’m starting to sound like a ’suck up’, but my evil twin “Alchemist” just said what I would have said, almost word for word! It’s starting to scare me, the way we think and do alike.
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Anyway, yes welcome again Daniel. You seem to be a good intelligent person, and you’ll be most accepted here at the CoFSM.
I just hope you aren’t a fundie that’s coming on nice, only to try to convert us later.
That would hurt my feelings for sure!
Ramen
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HI everybody, even i, the bigest man in the world do not like this version of heaven, there needs to be a barbeque pit!!!!!!
D’oh!
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Hahaha Peter. I’m starting to feel sorry for your wife :) Hell, if our minds work on similar levels. Did I read it right? They actually gave you a firearms license. Wow, if I had me one of those there’d be a lot less cars on the road {evil grin}.
BTW anyone else having problems with the site today?
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ohhh, interesting suggestion!
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Alchemist Jan 11th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Hahaha Peter. I’m starting to feel sorry for your wife :) Hell, if our minds work on similar levels. Did I read it right? They actually gave you a firearms license. Wow, if I had me one of those there’d be a lot less cars on the road {evil grin}.
BTW anyone else having problems with the site today?
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haha, wifie has learned to love me for who I am, hahaha
Besides, she’s as twisted as we are.
Firearms… Oh yeah, here in the States they’ll give almost anybody the right to carry arms. Why do you think our crime rate is so low? (hahahaha).
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And yes, the site is giving me fits today!
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The site has seemed abnormally quiet today – and at one stage I got a message saying the server was down, but I am reading The God Delusion whenever I get a chance, so I haven’t minded too much.
My husband is playing Lego Star Wars so all is right with the world ;)
Oh My FSM! Peter has a gun?!
Holy Crap! I hope you keep it where you can’t get it when you are pissed!
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But Booty, I do my best shooting, when I’m pissed “drunk”
Ramen
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I read that as “But Booty, I do my best shopping, when I’m pissed “drunkâ€
.
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