Get a bible…and read it throughly
Stop being stupid
God is our maker
leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
and to the comment above me, that was god hoping to help.
I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic belief.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven.
Get a bible and read it throughly
Published by Bobby Henderson December 28th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 926 Comments
926 Responses to “Get a bible and read it throughly”
Of course we’ll need government funded expensive cars (ect) to do that.
Also, I’ll need some new expensive outfits to wear whilst sitting at my computer and…….and…….
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh FSM, Peter for Prez…. the apocolypse is here.
HA! Just kiddin, Peter, you’ll have my vote, I mean, what can be worse than what we have now?
@Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA-”You aint got no freedom except the freedom to carry guns and where does that get you!”
*
You’d be suprised where that can get you. He he he he he he he he.
Don’t suppose you’ve read Megatokyo? The author uses 2 of the characters, Dom & Ed, to show just how serious Americans are about thier guns.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Alchemist, heh heh.
I thought you’d like that.
.
To everybody… When I’m elected, note ‘when’ not ‘if’.
I promise to buy all of you nice clothes and cars.
And I will bring peace on earth! Give me a chance, I’ll spread peace allover the goddamn place!
Ramen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yeah!!! Peace or else!!! RAmen Peter!
P.s. I’d like my car to have a retractable mast and sail.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“P.s. I’d like my car to have a retractable mast and sail.”
.
Yeah, yeah that’s the one. :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
so who needs solar power or fuel cells?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“fisrt, to those who belive that spaghetti was ‘invented’ a few years after, er, this christ charachter, apparently not….
Popular legend has it that Marco Polo introduced pasta to Italy following his exploration of the Far East in the late 13th century; however, we can trace pasta back as far as the fourth century B.C., where an Etruscan tomb showed a group of natives making what appears to be pasta. The Chinese were making a noodle-like food as early as 3000 B.C. And Greek mythology suggests that the Greek God Vulcan invented a device that made strings of dough (the first spaghetti!). ”
That’s what He wants you to think. He guided them to the invention of the noodly goodness of pasta.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
And Vulcan is Roman. The Greek name is Hepheustus. ;)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Still prefer Hepaticus – the greek god of beer :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I think that Teh Pirate Fish, is a born again Pastafarian.
heh heh
Ramen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The greeks had more gods than anyone could ever need. If you did anything, some god/goddess would get pissed off. And if you didn’t do anything, they’d call you lazy and kill you o.0
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thank you, Peter
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yes, do go read a bible as he says. Nothing will convince you that Christianity is not the way faster than reading the bible! The gospel of the FSM makes far more sense! May you find your way to the light of the noodley one.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
We need more hate mail!!
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Poison Pens
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“We need more hate mail!!” I agree. It makes me laugh more than Monty Python!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
In my quest to be Prez, I’ve decided to answer the five biggest questions on earth…
Here they are, please vote for me! Thank you…
.
Q1. WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN’S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It’s Braille for “suck here”.
.
Q2. WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It’s the same as a French kiss, only “down under.”
.
Q3. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
.
Q4. WHY ARE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because, when they come, they’re wild and wet. But when they go,
they
take your house and car with them.
.
Q5. WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don’t have any balls to scratch.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
All good questions Peter. But what of the other great unanswered questions of the universe:
.
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
.
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
.
Why don’t you ever see the headline: ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
.
Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
.
Why do Doctors call what they do “practice”?
.
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
.
Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat foood?
.
Who taste tests dog food when it has a “new & improved” flavour?
.
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
.
Why do thy bother sterilizing the needle used for lethal injections?
.
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the material used for the black box?
.
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
.
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
.
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
.
Why do they call it the airport “terminal” if flying is so safe?
.
RAmen, You got my vote Peter
MJK
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
hahaha
Those are excellent questions MJK!
Thanks for your vote, and I promise if elected, I will answer every one of those questions!
Meantime, more beers from the corner store, dang I’m drunk!
Ramen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Y’See – I knew all the fun would happen after I went to bed!
I just laughed like a drain!
Hope you are feeling OK this morning Peter, do you have to go to work?
I loved both sets of questions – I will have to save those :)
MJK – you should add on under the Mascara question why do parents when feeding their baby have to open wide when they put the spoon in? Very bizarre!
I’d vote for you as well Peter, only they don’t let me vote cos I’m British – bastards ;)
Good Luck! Now go and drink plenty of your miracle water :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Mad John Kidd
You forgot the questions:
.
Why isn’t the word ‘phonetically’ spelled the way it sounds?
.
Why, if you take it by ship, is it called ‘cargo’, but if you take it by car, it’s called ’shipment’?
.
How do you switch your laser printer from stun to kill?
.
If a fly has no wings, do you call it a walk?
.
What comes after postmodernism?
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Needing More Hate Mail
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
hate mail would be good, I think the reason it’s stopped is that the fuddies have realised that we’ll only take the piss and use the more amusing bits for updating the culture and traditions of FSM.
.
on second thoughts, scratch that, learning requires intelligence.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ahhhh! strange warning message about changing thread titles!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
those questions are greatly needing anwsers, you got my vote pete, and yes we do need more hate mail this is great fun
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I was born and raised Catholic, I go to church every Sunday and even help with the religious education classes.
However, it is not a true fact that God made the universe: it is just what I choose to believe. Also, as was already asked, what bible does this person want us to read? God has many forms and many names, perhaps he likes to be the Flying Spaghetti Monster on the weekends…How would we know?
-Blue
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Welcome BlueDreamer
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
hmm well this theory would stop all theese meddlesome holy wars
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“However, it is not a true fact that God made the universe: it is just what I choose to believe.”
.
And I believe that a glop of spaghetti created the universe, even though that is not very probable, so we are even.
I doubt that God is the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM is way too hung-over to do very much on weekends.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
‘The FSM is way too hung-over to do very much on weekends.’
.
Hi Marc, so is Peter Popoff!
And I want to thank everybody for your support, I’m pretty sure I’ll win this Prez gig!
Lets just hope our ship will ‘Stay the Course’!
Ramen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
BlueDreamer Jan 8th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
However, it is not a true fact that God made the universe: it is just what I choose to believe.
-Blue’
.
Yes welcome Blue, I can’t help but wonder though?
You say you know that god didn’t create the universe, but you choose to believe he did?
I’m just a little confused by your statement there?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I thought your motto was going to be “Stay the Corset”?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Re-Oared Marc Jan 8th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
I thought your motto was going to be “Stay the Corset�
.
You’re right, my spelling bites today! Thanks for catching that!
Ramen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What the FSM has done for me.
By, Peter Popoff.
Just a few short months ago, I was a mere Grape picking Swabbie.
I worked long hours for little pay.
Then I found the FSM on my boss’s computer (that’s right I couldn’t even afford my own computer), Within days; Dr. Mike hooked me up selling Bibles. As some of you may remember that didn’t pan out.
So I invented Jesus Christ Almighty… Mighty… Miracle water, along with my Divine conversion kit.
Well I made a small fortune with that! I got my teeth fixed. And even bought my wife a new pair of pants!
And now look! I find myself running for Prez, of America!
I am living proof the FSM, not only exists! But he loves us too! Just gotta believe, it’s easy really! Thanks big noodle dude!
P. P.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You have been truly blessed Peter!
Now lay off the miracle water, it will make you go blind ;)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Peter
Don’t forget the remarkable improvement in your one handed typing ;)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Pete for prez…….. I’m afraid…… very afraid….. :P
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
yes, very afraid.
Hey, Peter, I seem to remember you going by I different name when you were picking grapes, or is that just my imagination fueled by caffiene and half-done research projects? I guess it must be, but then, who was that one guy? You know, that other guy who was posting a lot in response to Herr Doktor, only I think he quit posting or something, man I’m confused.
Screw it. Anyway, you got the prez thing in the bag.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Re-Oared Marc
.
“I doubt that God is the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM is way too hung-over to do very much on weekends.”
.
Actually, that could explain some things…
After celebrating all of Friday (and Saturday… you can’t just end a party at midnight) the FSM is severely hungover on Sundays.
.
So, when all those christians pray at church on a Sunday, the answers they get are not the FSM’s divine wisdom, but rather just their own interpretation of the sound of him snoring whille he sleeps off a beer volcano or two.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
God is not the truth
Is god any more real than the Flying Spaghetti Monster? No
I myself am a beliver of the FSM
Anyone who beliveces in god is just the same as us.
Think about that!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hi Fred, you are right of course.
Don’t forget to vote for me!
P. P.
Ramen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Wench Nikky Jan 8th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
Peter
Don’t forget the remarkable improvement in your one handed typing ;)
.
I contribute it to divine straws Nikkiee.
Ramen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
yarg, “god” isn’t my maker…I mean, he is not only totaly behind the times (like, why no graphs?) but he has not given me an email or text message saying he exists to try to get me to beleive so he can’t exist. Now, the FSM has an exuse as itd be pretty hard to type with noodly apendages, so he has vastly more evidence supporting him. Besides, all the famines, plauges, rapes and slaughters in the name of “god” mentioned within his supposed books are totaly not fabulous. And what little fasion sense, bushy white beards and robes are totaly faux pas. Now for some fruit wedges and umbrellas for my beer, ramen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Jingles Jan 8th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
“So, when all those christians pray at church on a Sunday, the answers they get are not the FSM’s divine wisdom, but rather just their own interpretation of the sound of him snoring whille he sleeps off a beer volcano or two.”
.
Hahahahahahaha
Right on Jingles.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ L’TUAE – If I have this correctly from reading old threads, Peter started off as Maxwell’s friend, (friend of Maxwell??) not that Maxwell, another one I think! Then when he didn’t show up he became Swabbies Bucket, then Peter Popoff.
Did I get it right? ;)
I have mutated into a scary stalker person, haven’t I? Don’t know why, things like that stick in my mind! And I have always found Peter very funny, no matter what name he goes by!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There is a lovely column about faith and gay rights:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,,1985900,00.html (ps don’t read this while drinking)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
# Peter Popoff Jan 7th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
In my quest to be Prez, I’ve decided to answer the five biggest questions on earth…
Here they are, please vote for me! Thank you…
.
@517 Mad John Kidd Jan 7th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
All good questions Peter. But what of the other great unanswered questions of the universe:
Hahahahahahahahahaha
RAmen Peter & Mad John
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I have another one….
Why is it called the Postal Service in the USA but you get Mail, and the Royal Mail in the UK but you get post?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I think Peter has a professional interest in Physics and had assumed he was “Friend of” James Clerk Maxwell.
Peter is that so?
Booty, you’re not the only stalker…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
# Peter Popoff Jan 7th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
“In my quest to be Prez, I’ve decided to answer the five biggest questions on earth…
Here they are, please vote for me! Thank you…”
.
Of course we’ll need big round (or square..shrug) propaganda buttons, Peter?
.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Arghhhhhh…ye bible lickers suck hard,,,
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@MJK,
Why don’t you ever see the headline: ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Check out the iol.co.za site. There’s a story about a psychic in Durban, South Africa who was mugged. She “didn’t see it coming”.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0