Get a bible and read it throughly

Get a bible…and read it throughly
Stop being stupid
God is our maker
leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
and to the comment above me, that was god hoping to help.
I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic belief.
and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven.

921 Responses to “Get a bible and read it throughly”


  1. 1 Chris Perkins Dec 28th, 2006 at 11:54 am

    Which Bible do you want me to read? The King James Bible? The Catholic Bible? The Gnostic Gospels? Huh? Why are there no Dinosaurs in the Bible? Is there a Dinsaur Bible out there that we are missing out on? Oh, please, don’t tell me to read the book of Mormon where Jesus went to the Indians, eh?

    Thank you,

    Chris Perkins
    in God ravaged New Orleans

  2. 2 Queen of Rock'n'Roll Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:04 pm

    Why is it that all the Bible thumpers have no clue about grammar and spelling? Just curious….

  3. 3 Johnny Corvette Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:11 pm

    Yes stop investigating. Stop researching biology and physics. Stop making progress in medicine, science and technology. You don’t need to read the entire bible. This is all you need to know. Now shut up.

    By the word of the Lord were the heavens made,
    their starry host by the breath of His mouth.
    Psalm 33:6

  4. 4 Re-Oared Marc Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:18 pm

    I read the bible and as far as drama goes I really prefer Tennessee Williams. The dialogue is much more crisp and the character development is very deep in all of Williams’ books. We should get together and discuss novels more often! Another slice of coffee cake?

  5. 5 Queen of Rock'n'Roll Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:20 pm

    The Flying Spaghetti Monster made EVERYTHING… so tell this Lord character to stop taking all the credit, please.

  6. 6 maxwell Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:32 pm

    Dear (no name given),
    “and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven”…..This always puzzles me. Why would you care enough about me to want me to repent so I can go to heaven, but call me stupid and idiotic in the same paragraph? Who made you judge and jury? Let’s get down to it. You don’t give two sh*ts about me or anyone who denies the existence of god, or who challenges your religion. You just think that your little tirade makes you look good in front of your (non-existent) god. Your holier-than-thou stink is making my nose burn. Go play in the street, too. Write back, I dare ‘ya….

  7. 7 Kevin Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:36 pm

    “Get a Gospel of the Flyin Spaghetti Monster…and read it throughly
    Stop being stupid
    FSM is our maker
    leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
    and to the comment above me, that was FSM hoping to help.
    I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic belief of christianity.
    and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to paradise.”

    Fix’d.

  8. 8 'trick Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:38 pm

    I’ll tell you what, why dont we read the Bible together. I have the perfect website that we can use as a guide to follow along with a Bible: http://www.evilbible.com

  9. 9 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:46 pm

    Me likey bibles…
    Don’t forget yer water…

  10. 10 maxwell Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:46 pm

    Kevin, *HIGH FIVE*

  11. 11 Queen of Rock'n'Roll Dec 28th, 2006 at 12:53 pm

    RAmen to Kevin!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. 12 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 1:14 pm

    Miracle water Peter?

  13. 13 One Eyed Jack Dec 28th, 2006 at 1:22 pm

    I’ve read your Bible. More than once. Have you read my Gospel?
    .
    As for Truth? Well, I can get more wisdom from Baba Yaga and Mother Goose.
    .
    OEJ, Ship’s Navigator

  14. 14 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 1:35 pm

    I read some of a xtian bible once. Bit too much sado-masochism for me!

  15. 15 Mad John Kidd Dec 28th, 2006 at 1:47 pm

    Nikky—”I read some of a xtian bible once. Bit too much sado-masochism for me!”

    .

    Oh, come on now, you know you lurve to give good spanking to those who deserve it. Well okay, maybe not a spanking, but dunking your niece in the pool for the water bomb certainly counts as retribution. ;)

  16. 16 Mad John Kidd Dec 28th, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    @ ‘trick

    Nice one, evilbible.com says it all. I especially like the bit about buying the man a beer. Must be a closet Pastafarian or have Pirate blood coursing through his veins.

    RAmen

  17. 17 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    @MJK
    “but dunking your niece in the pool for the water bomb certainly counts as retribution. ;)”
    .
    hahaha
    I wrote that bit wrong in that post MJK, she chose to put her own head in.
    BTW There appears to be a resident YEC fundie (tag: PB) on that BBC Will and Testament site.
    That page takes ages to load though. At present all the action is on:
    Defending Andy McIntosh
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ni/2006/12/defending_andy_mcintosh_1.html
    .
    Just another entertainment option if home base is a bit quiet. :)

  18. 18 tha beast from tha east Dec 28th, 2006 at 2:46 pm

    Read “Misquoting Jesus” by Bart Ehrman, and maybe then you may begin to realize what the Bible really is, who shaped it, and why it’s a human book all along. If God can’t preserve the words of the Bible, what are the odds that he created those words? Did he create your Bible and decide to stop caring about human error and misquotations as soon as he “created” it? Unlikely.

  19. 19 Mad John Kidd Dec 28th, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Nikky—”Just another entertainment option if home base is a bit quiet. :)” prrrrr…prrrr…prrr….

    .

    Yeah, I just noticed that Yaser bloke spamming the snot out of the Comment on the open letter thread. I was going to refer to him as a wanker for his heresy of our Church, but it appears that he is a Dawkins supporter and was just drumming up business for his blog.

    MJK

  20. 20 Barny Dec 28th, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    I have eaten nonflying spaghtti, very tasty.
    I have also eaten the body of christ, bit bland.
    Interestingly I have drunk the blood of christ, it had a very high alcohol content, I would recomend this with spaghetti.

  21. 21 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 3:21 pm

    @ Barny, Hi
    Everything tastes better with…
    Jesus Christ Almighty… Mighty… Miracle water…
    And I will no longer use a crayon to address the envelopes!
    I’ve got a Magic Marker now…
    So order today…
    Ramen

  22. 22 Barny Dec 28th, 2006 at 3:27 pm

    Hi Peter

    I have nothing magic to mark, and crayons are tastier.

  23. 23 Beastly Rich Dec 28th, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    I have a bile, and have read it thoroughly,
    It is stupid.
    You are stupid.
    God and the bible are only related in that the bible purports to represent god.
    .
    and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can do something with the only life you have and stop with all this god crap.

  24. 24 Cap'nUberbob Dec 28th, 2006 at 4:04 pm

    Get a The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster… and read it throughly
    Stop being stupid
    Flying Spaghetti Monster is our maker
    leave that as it be, because it IS the truth
    and to the comment above me, that was Flying Spaghetti Monster hoping to help.
    I feel for all of you who believe this idiotic Christian belief.
    and i hope you change sometime in your life so you can make it to heaven with a beer volcano. And a stripper factory.

  25. 25 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 4:17 pm

    @Mad John Kidd
    “prrrrr…prrrr…prrr….”
    .
    Exactly! Already been there done that. :))
    I’m onto this one now.
    .
    “The problem with secularism”
    “….The attacks on religion are becoming ever more shrill and desperate — a clear sign of atheist anxiety about the status of their own first principles and explanatory frameworks.
    This atheist apprehension is well founded, as the latest developments in biology, physics and philosophy all open the door to a revivified theology and a religious metaphysics.
    Darwinism is close to being completely rewritten…..”
    http://richarddawkins.net/article,450,The-problem-with-secularism,Phillip-Blond-and-Adrian-Pabst-ihtcom
    .
    Only halfway through tha comments at present, but looks like all the really good ones have already been taken. The articale is a humorous read.
    .
    @Barny Dec 28th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
    “I have nothing magic to mark, and crayons are tastier.”
    .
    hahahaha
    RAmen Barny

  26. 26 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 4:17 pm

    Polar Bears are dying!

  27. 27 Beastly Rich Dec 28th, 2006 at 4:29 pm

    “Only halfway through tha comments at present, but looks like all the really good ones have already been taken. The articale is a humorous read.”
    RAmen
    .
    Dawkins website is the best place on the net for criticisms of his book!

  28. 28 Mad John Kidd Dec 28th, 2006 at 4:35 pm

    Save the Polar Bears! We need more Pirates stat! Quick, print up some more pamphlets and get on to a conversion excursion, everyone!

    And don’t forget to bring some of Peter’s miracle water with you!

    RAmen

    MJK

  29. 29 L'TUAE_42 Dec 28th, 2006 at 5:29 pm

    I read the bible once, at least part of it. A bit confusing. Example: where did all the people come from? Spontaneous generation? or serious inbreeding?
    specific ex: Abraham isa certain age, and issac is ,like, 8. Four years later, Issac is 12 and Abraham has only aged TWO years. Does god make typos? NO. Therefor, the bible is a human creation, just like god, and should not be relied on as the end all end all.
    I ♥ logic.^_^

  30. 30 St John the Blasphemist Dec 28th, 2006 at 6:51 pm

    I tried to read the bible once, but due to the author’s poor writing abilities (it sounded like one long sentence filled with ‘and then… and then… and then…’), I gave up out of sheer boredom.
    .
    The Gospel of the FSM has much more of a readable style to it. You should read it one day. You don’t even have to read it thoroughly to get into it.
    .
    Once you’ve read it & have tasted the true savioury delight, then I look forward to meeting you at the Beer Volcano.
    .
    BTW: you should also read some of Dr. David Bourland Jr’s writings on E-prime (English without the verb ‘to be’). You fundamentalists seem to overuse the word ‘IS’ to the point where it tends to block most of your attempts in rational communication with others (&, ultimately, within yourself).
    .
    St John the Blasphemist
    Saint of Is-lessness

  31. 31 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 7:13 pm

    @ L’TUAE_42 Dec 28th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
    “I read the bible once, at least part of it. A bit confusing. Example:
    where did all the people come from?”
    .
    Supernatural be-gatting perhaps?
    RAmen

  32. 32 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 7:36 pm

    @ L’TUAE_42 Dec 28th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
    “I read the bible once, at least part of it. A bit confusing. Example:
    where did all the people come from?”
    .
    Never question gods work!
    Ramen

  33. 33 Jesus Dec 28th, 2006 at 7:49 pm

    FSM IS OUR CREATOR!!!!

    (And My Father)

  34. 34 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 7:58 pm

    Hi, Jesus
    You say the FSM is your father?
    Does that make you like a Spaghetti-o, or something?
    Also, thanks because I didn’t know if the FSM was a man or a woman?
    Or a man/woman for that matter?
    Ramen

  35. 35 Vlad the inhaler Dec 28th, 2006 at 8:45 pm

    I believe in and worship 9:30 , without question…. It works, believe me. Try it give it a chance, I was once despondent, depressed and gave up on religion, however I decided to give religion another chance when I drove by a church and on the sign out side it said ” worship 9:30″ I have tried it. It works…. I can worship twice a day, if I am not using millitary time. And I do not even believe in the existence of time………

  36. 36 Heathen Dec 28th, 2006 at 8:49 pm

    Suppose you had never heard of Christianity, and that next Sundat morning a stranger standing in a pulpit told you about a book whose authors could not be authenticated and whose contents, written thousands of years ago, included blood-curdling legends of slaughter and intrigue and fables about unnatural happenings such as virgin births, devils that inhabit human bodies and talk, people rising from the dead and ascending live into the clouds, and suns that stand still. Suppose then he asked you to believe - without one shred of evidence - that an uneducated man described in that book was in fact a god who could get you into an eternal fantasy place called heaven when you die, but you dont really die. Would you, as an intelligent rational human being even bother to read such nonsense, let alone pattern your whole life upon it? The Bible seems to be a book written by nobody knows who in a barbaric age, solely about the Jews and their superstitions. But in answer to your question - I’ve got a bible - read it all - turned me into an avowed atheist.

  37. 37 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 8:55 pm

    @Vlad the inhaler
    Hmm….I must concede that you have some heady evidence there, for the deity you have chosen to worship. However I am kinda still attached to our creator of un-intelligent design, that is the FSM. What does 9:30 say about beer and strippers in 9:30 heaven?

  38. 38 Mad John Kidd Dec 28th, 2006 at 8:59 pm

    What exactly has Vlad been inhaling?

  39. 39 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:04 pm

    hahahaha
    That’s similar to one my father used to trot out sometimes, when we drove past one of those boards at the front of a church.

  40. 40 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:17 pm

    My dad used to say… “life is short” wear a helmet!

  41. 41 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:41 pm

    Ahh….”metal” help Peter! Just what some of the xtians advise too! :)

  42. 42 PirateyMorgan Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:43 pm

    You people make me laugh.

    *Does an accent* “I’m gonna go to church to worship an invisible god. I’m going to become a nun so that I can give up love and sex, because god’s love and sex rules all!”

    That’s just scary. I don’t know, but maybe you should see a doctor if you think your imaginary friend is going to do the above for you.

  43. 43 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:47 pm

    Yeah
    Pastafarians are allowed love and sex. It’s the flimsy morals thing. Beer and strippers in heaven too. Why would anyone want to worship a dusty old book and an imaginary friend over FSM?
    RAmen

  44. 44 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:54 pm

    Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:41 pm

    Ahh….”metal” help Peter! Just what some of the xtians advise too! :)
    .
    Hahahaha, I’ll help in any way I can,
    Hahahaha
    Ramen

  45. 45 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:56 pm

    PirateyMorgan Dec 28th, 2006 at 9:43 pm

    You people make me laugh.

    *Does an accent* “I’m gonna go to church to worship an invisible god. I’m going to become a nun so that I can give up love and sex, because god’s love and sex rules all!”

    That’s just scary. I don’t know, but maybe you should see a doctor if you think your imaginary friend is going to do the above for you.
    .
    .
    Best what I can say, don’t knock it! Til you’ve tried it! And/or chipped your teeth on it.
    Ramen

  46. 46 Wench Nikky Dec 28th, 2006 at 10:13 pm

    I though Piratey post was at the initial poster? Going by the name?
    @PirateyMorgan
    “You people make me laugh.”
    Us or them?

  47. 47 Joe Dec 28th, 2006 at 11:21 pm

    My heaven has a stripper factory and a beer volcano. Your heaven has my two ex wives and two ex mother in laws. This is not a difficult decision to make. May the FSM wrap you softly in his noodly goodness.

  48. 48 Peter Popoff Dec 28th, 2006 at 11:38 pm

    Hey, Joe… Me likey your xwives!
    Heh heh,
    They treat me real nice…
    Ramen

  49. 49 Jingles Dec 28th, 2006 at 11:53 pm

    Umm… completely ignoring the 50 or so posts above me, I just want to know… how are we supposed to read a bible “throughly”?
    .
    We can read a bible through, and we can read a bible thoroughly, and we could even theoretically read a bible throw, though I would not care to.
    .
    Methinks someone should attempt to correct his spelling (not to mention grammar, anyone notice the ‘and’s starting the sentences?) before calling us all stupid.

  50. 50 Jingles Dec 28th, 2006 at 11:54 pm

    Woops, two ands in the first sentance, delete the one before thoroughly.
    .
    I can’t correct someone’s grammar if I make similar mistakes.

  51. 51 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:00 am

    @ Jingles

    Yes, I addressed that thoroughly issue on the original post before it was moved here. Didn’t feel like repeating myself. So kudos for doing so here.

  52. 52 Jingles Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:07 am

    Out of curiosity, do you know what thread it was?

  53. 53 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:15 am

    Comment on letter or Kansas I think. Mad John?

  54. 54 The Real Doughboy-PbN Dec 29th, 2006 at 1:02 am

    wtf? i think this is all a big joke. i mean srsly, who the fuck would beleive a spaghetti monster. go drink fucking bleach and snort antifreeze and you’ll be better off than beleiving this fucking shit. that is, if u really are ignorant retards. if any1 else posted this then i give u teh credit for teh ideas. im just a supporter. btw, i’m posting this in the Maz army forums and soon ur site will be hacked and spammed like no other motherfucker has ever been. lolzorz bitches lolooollololololololol. hahahahahaha.
    also u all seem like tight ass grammar nazi’s. fuck you. i use proper grammar where it matters. tight ass mother fucker yuppie hater ass fucking fudge packers.

  55. 55 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 1:24 am

    @ Jingles

    Sorry, I was away. The original post was on the Comment on the Open Letter thread by christine Dec 27th, 2006 at 10:01 pm.

  56. 56 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 1:44 am

    @The Real Doughboy-PbN
    Well helloooo doughboy. I’ll talk to you shortly, after I have deciphered your post. No doubt it is in code?
    In the meantime, my fellow pastafarians, I think I have found that jeesus character that the xtians keep saying we should find. You think this is him. Says it is!
    http://www.cegenglish.com/

  57. 57 The Real Doughboy-PbN Dec 29th, 2006 at 1:48 am

    wow. ur just being stupid. ur a noob at the interwebnets. srsly.

  58. 58 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 1:55 am

    Now let’s see about The Real Doughboy-PbN’s post.
    “btw, i’m posting this in the Maz army forums and soon ur site will be hacked and spammed like no other motherfucker has ever been. lolzorz bitches lolooollololololololol. hahahahahaha.”
    .
    OK first part is pretty unoriginal…threats? (check) spam? (check)
    “lolzorz” this is a new one. Anyone know what it means?
    .
    Moving along:
    “also u all seem like tight ass grammar nazi’s. fuck you. i use proper grammar where it matters. tight ass mother fucker yuppie hater ass fucking fudge packers.”
    .
    Well not quite as good as the oars, but along the same theme.
    Pretty average really.
    RAmen

  59. 59 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:00 am

    I’m sure you can do better than that Doughboy, ’srsly’ we get 12 year olds sending better hatemail! ’srsly’again.
    RAmen

  60. 60 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:03 am

    Have to leave you for a minute Dohboy, I see someone more interesting has arrived. Don’t go away will you. Won’t be long.
    RAmen

  61. 61 Prince of Pasta Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:17 am

    “yuppie hater” ?
    I don’t hate yuppies, why I had some on toast for breakfast, this very morning!

  62. 62 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:20 am

    Doughboy, you still with us? or doing the post and run troll gig?

  63. 63 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:30 am

    @Nikky

    He’s really got your blood boiling. Sounded like he was on a limited access. So are you back from your other business then?

  64. 64 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:38 am

    “So are you back from your other business then?”
    Yeah
    .
    “He’s really got your blood boiling.”
    No not at all, just wanted to play with him. When he replied, I thought he was going to stick around for a bit of fun. Do you have the word “piker” over there?

  65. 65 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:42 am

    My last couple of posts were to see if I could tease out another reply. Maybe a bit of light jousting.
    Don’t you know anything about fishing Mad John?

  66. 66 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:45 am

    Nikky—”…just wanted to play with him.”

    That’s what I meant. Not angry. Wrong metaphor. And I heard “piker” cross the pond but they don’t use it here. My mates use “wanker” and “no worries” and “bloody hell” after having heard me say them a million times.

  67. 67 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 2:48 am

    Oh, I know what you were trying to do. I chose not to play that game. Bored with it at that moment. I went to another web site and when I got back I found shakazulu wanting to converse. Had a nice civil conversation for a change.

  68. 68 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:00 am

    I’ve been following a few serious threads on and off during the day, so I was ready for a bit of silliness. Especially if it meant not following links all over the place. Feeling a bit ragged from the others actually. Doughboy perked me up for a minute there.
    Oh well. Feeling stuffed again now! Have to start looking at some R & D government guidelines soon, so I guess I was trying to get my fill, before I wind down a bit on following the boards. *Sigh*
    Reguarding shakazulu. Yeah nice and polite. Still going to pray for us all at the end though. *sigh*

  69. 69 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:07 am

    Aha..DAR appears to have posted again on the Sam Harris thread, since I was last there.
    Must go and read it.
    RAmen

  70. 70 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:07 am

    The usual vacuous vitriol and vulgarity—I know I should stop saying that but I do lurve alliteration—then in the middle of it he claims to be a supporter. Strange bloke.

    And no oars, I am disappointed.

  71. 71 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:12 am

    If it makes shakazulu feel better about herself by praying for us, then so be it, I say. No harm, no foul. Like shooting ghosts in a barrel. You can’t miss, but you can’t do any harm either.

    RAmen

  72. 72 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:17 am

    Just read DARs last post. He really reminds me of Christian, who spent a lot of time debating with J. He seems well read and well informed, so I’ll be following that board a bit more I think. There have been no reponses yet since his last post.

  73. 73 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:21 am

    Yeah I just had a look at it, but I still need to go back and read more of the preceding posts. Responsive bloke. Too much tonight, maybe tomorrow.

  74. 74 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:26 am

    Well I’m going to call it a night. Far too much screen reading for me today. I’ll catch you on the flip side.
    RAmen

  75. 75 Mad John Kidd Dec 29th, 2006 at 3:39 am

    G’nite wenchy.

  76. 76 The Real Doughboy-PbN Dec 29th, 2006 at 4:23 am

    …………? wow. is it going to be fun seeing 100+ posts of tubgirl if Maz pulls through on this. if not then they suck.

    Lolzorz- leetspeak. obvsly (OBVIOUSLY) none of you are into gaming. lol (Laugh out loud) plus some slang (zorz) was added after it was “lolz.” Proper pronunciation of “lol” is “lawl” in gaming. Used with sarcasm. Hopefully you know what I mean by the end of this sentence…….

  77. 77 The Real Doughboy-PbN Dec 29th, 2006 at 4:31 am

    http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?t=1888941&highlight=flying+spaghetti+monster

    seems as if one of your “followers” i suspect visits the same forums that I do. also misspelled Pastafarian wrong: Pastfarian. i think he needs to be hung upside down from his balls and acid needs to be dripped into his asshole. lol.

  78. 78 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 4:39 am

    Ah Doughboy, you’d be very surprised about who our followers are and where they visit, I think.

  79. 79 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 4:42 am

    “Hopefully you know what I mean by the end of this sentence…….”
    No probablywith my knowing or comprehending, rather with my giving a toss! :)
    RAmen

  80. 80 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 4:46 am

    edit
    “No probablywith my knowing or comprehending, rather with my giving a toss!

    That’ll be: No problem with my knowing or comprehending, rather, more with my giving a toss.

  81. 81 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 4:58 am

    I’ll leave you with a clue Dohboy, (since you don’t seem to have one) find out a bit more about where and what you are posting too in future!

  82. 82 Ally :) Dec 29th, 2006 at 5:02 am

    Ahem.

    Ya mum.

    The end.

  83. 83 Ally :) Dec 29th, 2006 at 5:05 am

    Oh and btw, I like goats.

  84. 84 alyshaaaa thinks u guys are tossers Dec 29th, 2006 at 5:24 am

    OMG
    i just found a old book that says the world was created by a cabbage with glasses!
    wow lets leave this cult and worship the real god!
    THE CABBAGE WITH GLASSES!
    it also says that humans are made of yellow jelly beans =O
    i think i just broke the da vinci code!!

  85. 85 alyshaaaa thinks u guys are tossers Dec 29th, 2006 at 5:36 am

    i am sorry your noodly appendage
    but i hope some one steps on you
    and squishes you into the floor
    and makes you bleed pasta sauce
    and your tentacles flaile till they have no life left in them
    and hopefully anyone who believes in you burns alive
    because they deserve it for being so senseless

  86. 86 Jingles Dec 29th, 2006 at 5:48 am

    Oh why oh why do we get such low quality spam these days?
    .
    Whether it was the arrogant wankery of TLM, or the sheer insanity of the BLR, at least with them, we could have a real flaming row (admittedly, with BLR, it would be answered by more idiotic prose, but at least it was innovative).
    This lot are just tragic :(
    .
    I mean, there’s not an oar to be seen in there.
    .
    Otherwise, has anyone noticed a serious decline in the quantity of serious respondents as well?
    .
    No more Christian (the original, not that sorry excuse floating around now), Nic (annoying, but hey, he inspired some good debates), or even the snobbery of Herr Doktar (I didn’t catch him, but FSMdamn, did you lot unify to fight him).
    .
    All we have these days is bored school children exercising their skill with the capslock button, and seeing how many different ways there are of mispelling a given profanity.
    .
    I miss the good ol’ days.
    .
    .
    .
    Jingles
    Disappointed in today’s spammers, with bells on.

  87. 87 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:22 am

    You said it Jingles. Debating with the Doctor was fun. No one comes to debate anything anymore. They just do drive-by posts, never to be heard from again. Maybe that is a good sign? I went to a christian board once, and posted a link to here, along with a message enticing them to save my soul. It sparked a few debates, but they also quit coming. We need to be more active in soliciting sparring partners.

  88. 88 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:28 am

    I am sorry alyshaaaa
    but i hope some one steps on you
    and squishes you into the floor
    and makes you bleed Curious by Britney Spears
    and your knickers flaile till they have no life left in them
    and hopefully anyone who likes you burns alive
    because they deserve it for being so senseless

  89. 89 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:33 am

    Maybe some of my UK friends can help me out with this one; what is a ‘tosser’? Is it the equivalent of ‘jack-off’ here in the states? Maybe even asking this makes me a tosser?

  90. 90 spider Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:39 am

    ahoy from blighty.
    .
    tosser definition, yep you guessed right there. unless you’re scottish in which case it might involve cabers.
    .
    perhaps we need to take the mountain to mohammed. since they won’t come debate with us we should go to them?
    .
    perhaps find a very active god bothering site and launch a coordinated broadside with all guns? followed by some boarding and pillaging? sounds like a good new year to this pirate!
    .
    may the new year bring wenches and grog aplenty!

  91. 91 Pureé Reason Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:42 am

    Maxwell, yes you’re right, a ‘tosser’ is indeed a ‘jack-off,’ though a better word meaning the same thing is ‘wanker’

    Eskimos have lots of words for snow, we have lots of words for masturbation

  92. 92 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:46 am

    I’m not a-feared. I’ll board their floating garbage-barge and tease them un-mercifully until they shout obscenities (which generally doesn’t take much) and swarm like bees! I’ll post the link to their website for all pirates to see! ARRRRRRGH
    RAmen.

  93. 93 Jingles Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:48 am

    Hey spider’s back!

  94. 94 spider Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:52 am

    I’ve tracked down that lubber doughboy. http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?p=29959234#post29959234
    .
    load the guns, set the mainsail, into the fray once more me hearties!!!
    .
    damn it’s nice to be missed, makes my pasta swell with good feelings….

  95. 95 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:54 am

    I see we had a few more visitors (or same one dif tag). No “tubgirl” that dohboy promised though!
    @maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 6:33 am
    “Maybe some of my UK friends can help me out with this one; what is a ‘tosser’? Is it the equivalent of ‘jack-off’ here in the states? Maybe even asking this makes me a tosser?”
    .
    I normally use the OZ version “wanker”. Guess I just picked that one up of the boards.
    Now I know the American version too!

  96. 96 spider Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:01 am

    aaargh. you can be a “wanker” in the uk as well. in fact you’d be surprised how many there are!

  97. 97 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:07 am

    Ok, thanks. BUT “unless you’re scottish in which case it might involve cabers” What the hell is a caber?

  98. 98 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:09 am

    I see we’ve got a true believer, as in TJ, on that pbnation thread.

  99. 99 spider Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:11 am

    Ahoy!!

    me sides be splitting the thought of people trying to imagine what a caber is since you “toss” it
    .
    heres some pics for you!
    http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&q=caber%20tossing&btnG=Google+Search&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

  100. 100 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:12 am

    Hey spider how did you get the fish over there?

  101. 101 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:15 am

    since you “toss” it …… heres some pics for you!
    .
    hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  102. 102 spider Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:18 am

    the fish? i miagine you mean in the pb threads. you can upload avatars in your profile. check the left hand side for the menu.
    .
    the scottish. great people. pirates in skirts!

  103. 103 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:23 am

    the fish? i miagine you mean in the pb threads.
    .
    Iwas a little worried about that Q, considering by the time I’d posted, your fish tossing link/post was up.
    .
    I don’t think I’ll bother posting on pb, TJ seems to be doing a good job of recruiting converts and spreading the word there.

  104. 104 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:28 am

    OHHHH, a CABER! Long pole, tossed for distance

  105. 105 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:37 am

    I’ve heard people in the past say “I don’t give a toss”, but I can’t imagine the others being used in that context, or are they? Aussies don’t say “I couldn’t give a wank” At least I don’t think so, anyway.

  106. 106 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:45 am

    Now define ‘piker’. I thought I spoke english?!?!

  107. 107 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:55 am

    hahaha….it’s commonly used here in reference to someone who bows out/goes to sleep in the middle of a good party. Someone who gives up, I guess. Though I think there is a fish in OZ, called a ‘pike’. Maybe people used to throw them ;)

  108. 108 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 7:57 am

    Where’s Jingles when I need him?

  109. 109 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:13 am

    I just looked up Doughboy and gave him some slang……”Thanks doughboy for your education in slang. I’d like to try it out here, ok?
    u stoopid ppl r srsly stoopid 4 not beleveng in the FSM like he iz da shnizzle u need 2 beleve in him cuz he is speghety n sause and srsly he is like our god u know? we r kule n ur not cuz we beleve!!!!!HAHAHAHAHA LOLRZ!!!!
    How did I do?”

  110. 110 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:18 am

    WOW maxwell, you are an expert. You got the flavour of so many of our disillusioned (sp!) visitors down perfectly! Your spelling is especially perfect. :)
    RAmen

  111. 111 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:18 am
  112. 112 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:23 am

    Thank-you good wench. If I spent my days working in the sewer, I would surely return home smelling of sh*t. Since I’ve spent my days wading thru christian posts, I must also smell of them. I simply take a whiff of myself and write as I smell. I, good wench, am NO piker. I do not give up when there are battles to be fought. I may however be a tosser, and/or wanker, since I am typing with only ONE hand…..

  113. 113 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:24 am

    Just had a look at the post at pbnation. Hahaha…That was brilliant!

  114. 114 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:36 am

    “I may however be a tosser, and/or wanker, since I am typing with only ONE hand…..”
    .
    hahahaha….
    I can’t type that well with two.
    It’s 1am here now (way past my bedtime), but I really needed a laugh after the past two days of more serious discussions here and there. Sometimes with the pseudo interlectual/scientist types, you just have to use the right bait or enough rope. Can be time consuming.

  115. 115 Wench Nikky Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:41 am

    I’m exhausted. I was bowing out off (piking) the boards hours ago. Glad I was here for that little post fest though. That will keep me smiling til I start dreaming of Pastafarian heaven. Catch you on the flip side maxwell :)
    RAmen

  116. 116 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:42 am

    I miss the debate. We seem to get only drive-by posters anymore. I agree that we need to actively recruit. I will get off my ass and do so.

  117. 117 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:43 am

    Nighty-night

  118. 118 Johnny Corvette Dec 29th, 2006 at 8:51 am

    Jesus I mean Spaghetti wench Nikky are you still posting?? I have gone to bed, gotten up, had breakfast and gone to work already.

    Jesus that Jesus of the week site is funny. I had a few chuckles out load in my office this morning.

    http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/

  119. 119 enos Dec 29th, 2006 at 9:46 am

    I am a recent convert to the great FSM as my Lord and Creator. I just want to thank the many enlightened persons who have helped me to realize the true meaning of life.

    After reading both the Old and the New Testament multiple times as well as a plethora of sacred Egyptian, Mesopotamian, and Levantive texts, it has come to my attention that the FSM Gospels and religion are far superior.

    I look forward to taking part in future discussions.

    R’amen

  120. 120 Mr. Cotton's Parrot Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:02 am

    One cannot escape the realization that everytime a Christian attempts to belittle that which they feel is untrue (Pastafarianism) they fail to provide positive, empirical reasons to support their beliefs. I wrote off Christianity a long time ago, mainly due to the Bible itself. It is a literary train-wreck, liberally infested with brazen accounts of murder, rape and slavery performed in the name of God. There is no internal consistancy, as one would likely expect from an omniscient author. The so-called moral lessons have no applicable value in today’s world. (Stoning someone to death for working on a holy day?!?) And, no, you cannot pick and choose the parts of the Bible you feel are true and which ones are mere allegory. Either the entire thing is true, or it is not. And since when would a creator of the universe allow his holy book to be VOTED upon by people, a la Constantine’s Council of Nicea? Would you like to know how I am sure the FSM is real? On Christmas day my very Christian mother-in-law served spaghetti. With meatballs. Followed by a viewing of “Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest”. The wind be at your backs, mateys.

  121. 121 enos Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:14 am

    I’ve worn boots very much like a pirate wears for about ten years now. I think it was just a natural and subconscious move towards Flying Spaghetti Monsterism that was happening before I had even learned of the great religion.

    That, to me, proves the power of His potency.

  122. 122 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:26 am

    Arrrr Mr. Cotton’s Parrot;
    The servin’ of the body of FSM on x-mas was no coincidence! He works in Noodly ways…Enjoy yer time here at COFSM, matey!

  123. 123 Beastly Rich Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:38 am

    I have decided that “My name is Earl” promotes a superior moral code to that in the bible, so I asked for the boxset for christmas. Yarr.

  124. 124 Pureé Reason Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:47 am

    “Pikey” is a UK equivalent to ‘trailer trash’ as a description of a person, but things are also described as ‘a bit pikey’ if they are low grade or common

    I’ve never heard of ‘piking’ or ‘piker’.

    A ‘pike’ is a fish, and of course also a medaeval weapon.

    Thank you and goodnight

  125. 125 Beastly Rich Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:59 am

    how do you define the difference between a pikey and a chav?

  126. 126 ADDGuy Dec 29th, 2006 at 11:12 am

    I don’t know that
    .
    But what do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
    .
    Sorted

  127. 127 ADDGuy Dec 29th, 2006 at 11:13 am

    If your looking for a defination of pikey watch snatch

  128. 128 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 11:59 am

    This is going to be a classic; An ‘expert’ on hangings, gives 3 scenarios for what might happen to Saddam when he is hanged. This is an portion of the interview…….”There is also a third possible scenario.

    “If they drop him too far, his head pops off,” Lyle said. “But I don’t think that we have to worry about it going wrong. I have a feeling the Iraqis know what they are doing.” Classic!

  129. 129 Alchemist Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:03 pm

    Hi beastly. As far as I remember a Pikey is a derog. term for a gypsy and a chav is the gypsy word for a child.

  130. 130 L'TUAE_42 Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:10 pm

    1f doughboy 3vr c0l\/l3s b4ck, tl-l1s l\/l3ss4g3 1s f0r h1m.
    joo 4r3 l\l0t L337, 4nd joo d1sgust l\/l3. obvsly joo 4r3 an id10t.
    cl-l33rs.^_^

  131. 131 Beastly Rich Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:24 pm

    You’re right l’tuae, I think he’s more likely some really, Really, geeky 15 year old with a superiority complex and no brains.

  132. 132 Beastly Rich Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:31 pm

    I think he’s about as 1337 as my granny.

  133. 133 maxwell Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:32 pm

    I’m stirring up some trouble….http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?p=29966030&posted=1#post29966030

  134. 134 Alchemist Dec 29th, 2006 at 12:34 pm

    L’TUAE_42 - managed all but L337, had to google for that! One of the joys of this site is that you go away knowing more than you when you arrived, seriously. I never knew people like unbakedbreadboy existed irl. I’m on a steep learning curve.
    .
    We don’t have so many IDiots (ta Nikky :)) in the UK. What an eye-opener.

  135. 135 enos