Oh, wise prophet,I, James of the family Duck would like to enlighten you of the plight faced by the soldiers, civilians, Iraqis and pirates in his noodly appendages cradle of civilization. Currently the United States Army provides a vast and diverse Chaplains Corp to fulfill the spiritual needs of its hard pressed soldiers. However at the more remote sites, the Chaplains visit when they can about once a month and distribute literature and religious supplements like crosses, Korans and rosaries.Unfortunately there are no Pastafarian Chaplains for those touched by His Greatness. We believe that His Noodlyness deserves equal time along side those theories that harness the power of the printed letter and printer ink. Even without resources one lone Pastafarian has spread the word to the willing and now over 10% ( 3.27 people) of our installation have been touched. The local Pastafarians lack the proper eye-patches, swords, hook hands and frilly pirate clothes to properly speak to others who may also seek the truth in these ancient lands. I propose that if we had official looking papers with letters on them bound into a 192 page “Gospel” to stack proudly next to our mountain of more commonly available books more passers by (which we get quite a lot) could take interest in the Truth that is Flying Spaghetti Monster.We where wondering, oh wise one, if you could help us out in our plight to spread the word by sending eye patches, hook hands and if possible big pirate hats and a number of copies of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster . We here do not have the expendable resources to print out pamphlets, posters or charts showing how global warming is afflicting the pirate population and feel a couple copies of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will enforce equal time.Thank You for listening to our plea,SPC Duck, James and fellow PastafariansP.S. If you would like to help us out please email me back so I can give you our address. We really want to take pictures of us in Iraq with FSM propaganda and we think the Iraqi Army guys here with us would love it too! We also think that a picture of an American and an Iraqi coming together under His Noodly Appendage would be a great message of world peace. Of course we will try our best not to just jump one of the Iraqi Army guys here and snap a shot off, we will do our best to inform him so he is totally aware of the decision he is making to put his face on the Internet and what it is for. These guys risk their lives just working here.
P.P.S. Also I saw a US civilian contractor with a “Do you believe?” shirt on a month or two back. Did not get to talk to her, but let it be known the truth is out there. Even if nothing comes of all this, THANK YOU for providing us with such awesome entertainment. I does get people thinking.
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
“We were wondering, oh wise one, if you could help us out in our plight to spread the word by sending eye patches, hook hands and if possible big pirate hats and a number of copies of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster .”
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SPC Duck, James and fellow Pastafarians, so good to hear His Noodley message has reached , and is being spread in Iraq. I personally think the CoFSM should get behind you guys and help you out.
I as yet don’t have a copy of the Holy Gospel of FSM, otherwise I would be only to glad to send it.
As for the other items requested, I will surely look around and see if I can’t procure some for you.
Keep the Faith and enjoy Holiday as best you can in the meantime
RAmen
It is truly wonderous that the word is being spread over there, but please don’t get yourselves shot or blown up. This activity is sure to increase your risk factor. That being said, I have an eyepatch I could send, but I need to know how. I could also print off some propoganda, posters and graphs and such.
This is SPC Duck here. I am surprised to see me up on the front page and now I have to find a way to control the potential wave of packages while trying my best not to have my address posted all over the internet…
Also L’TUAE_42 and Wench Nikky thanks for the offer, smaller brochures and handheld things of that matter would be put to better use over a ton of huge posters. I cannot just go around bases gluing up whatever i feel like, but I CAN leave pamphlets and extra copies of the gospel in the various libraries, MWR centers and waiting/day rooms we pass on our trips to other bases. Things I can shove in a pocket and leave on the waiting room coffee tables and take pics when no-one is looking.
To sum it up, I do not need boxes and boxes of stuff. Maybe a couple eye patches/hookhands for the guys here to have fun with and a good number of smaller propaganda pieces to distribute when i infrequently leave my small post.
idea…eye patches in every book/brochure as a bookmark….
“Of course we will try our best not to just jump one of the Iraqi Army guys here and snap a shot off, we will do our best to inform him so he is totally aware of the decision he is making to put his face on the Internet and what it is for. These guys risk their lives just working here.”
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I agree with L’TUAE_42
Might be wise to use some anonymous ‘black bar’ (or dark sunglasses ect.) techniques there. Remember that many of the…err… more religious, suffer from Humour Deficit Disorder. (HDD)
RAmen
Duckman Dec 23rd, 2006 at 7:43 pm
‘while trying my best not to have my address posted all over the internet…’
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Good idea. No doubt a trusted intermediary address would be a good?
As to my comment: “Remember that many of the…err… more religious, suffer from Humour Deficit Disorder. (HDD)”
I am sure you are well aware (more so than any of us) of that. Just wouldn’t like to see any of our Pastafarians in trouble.
RAmen
@Duckman
Have you looked at the brochures on the Materials page to see what you most fancy.
There is a heap (and I mean a whole heap) of great stuff there. Sizes given as well.
I know from my own forays into conversion excursions that the brochures rock. Smaller graphics there too. Check it out if you haven’t already done so.
http://www.venganza.org/materials/
@Duckman
Have you looked at the brochures ect on the Materials page to see what you most fancy.
There is a heap (and I mean a whole heap) of great stuff there. Sizes given as well.
I know from my own forays into conversion excursions that the brochures rock. Smaller graphics there too. Check it out if you haven’t already done so.
http://www.venganza.org/materials/
How the hell did I do that? Repeat post???
@ SPC Duck, James and fellow Pastafarians
As an ex US Navy serviceman, my heart pours our to you and all you serve with, Pastafarian or no. Though not American by birth, I’m originally from the UK, I acquired a US citizenship though my service and have made a home for myself and my family here. I have no regrets in doing so and greatly appreciate those who are doing their duty in Iraq, and elsewhere. I have many friends who have sons serving in Iraq as well, so I know something of what you are suffering. I am proud to have served my adopted country and wish you and all the best during this Holiday Season and continued support. You are in our thoughts always. May you come home soon.
Be safe. Watch your buddies’ back. May the wind blow gently at your backs, may the FSM shine warmly upon your souls, and may you be forever touched by His Noodly Appendage.
Are you familiar with the Eight Condiments posted on wikipedia? It sums up the basic principles or our faith.
RAmen, my brothers of the Sauce
MJK
@SPC Duck,
Should you ever decide to leave the military, you might want to consider a career as a deciple. You seem to have caught the thoughts of prophet Bobby Henderson very well: equal time and attention for various view. If it’s good enough for the Kansas school board, then why not for Iraq. Spread the word. Excellent!
We do need to somehow get these guys, at least, a couple od copies of the Gospel. I’m willing to put up the money for one, but how to get it to them? Duck or Prophet Bobby let us know how we can do something. Probably won’t be as good as sending a troop of strippers and a beer volcano, but it’s a start.
OK forget a couple ‘od’ copies, how about a couple of copies of the Gospel?
BTW Duck make sure you spread the word to any Aussie soldiers you come across in your travels, won’t you. Tell them a good Australian wench said so!
In all seriousness, the conflict that you’ve find yourself in makes the discussion of religion, especially a satire, extraordinarily dangerous. While you represent a nation that allows for discussion and debate on virtually any taboo subject, the world of islam may not allow you that privlidge. The honor of freedom of thought needs to be introduced slowly - it took the us from 1776 (actually earlier) to now to get as far as we have in civil rights, freedom of speech, etc - stuff in the constitution. Curiously the origin of the US coincides with the decline of pirates.
My 2 cents worth - the Vietnamese were a whole lot easier to talk to and had a helluva lot more sense of humor…
Good luck, and please be careful. And Merry Christmas (Season).
SP5 R Kowalski
1st Signal Btn
44th Sig Bde
Long Binh, RVN 1971-1972
We turned off the lights…
Wow. Just popped in for a pre-[Christmas/Mithras/Whatever]Holiday Pastafarian injection. Didn’t expect to hear of The Truth spreading so far. Truly, there is nowhere so dark that the light shineth not.
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Happy Holiday and Merry Whatever Suits You, Pastafarians.
.
RAmen
@J
A special Happy Holiday/Xmas to you.
Nikki
@The Naughty Oarsman
My 2 cents worth - the Vietnamese were a whole lot easier to talk to and had a helluva lot more sense of humor…
SP5 R Kowalski
1st Signal Btn
44th Sig Bde
Long Binh, RVN 1971-1972
We turned off the lights…
.
Maybe that is precisely why these guys really need to have a few copies of the Gospel.
I’ve heard from many that humour does help during a drawn out shitfight. (to put it mildly). Doesn’t sound like Duck & Co intend to build large staues of His Noodleyness
all over Iraq. ;) Happy Holiday Naughty Oarsman.
ps Sideways tangent. ‘Air America’ is one of my all time favourite movies.
To Wench Nikky… THANK YOU for alerting me to switch browsers so I could get to these Iraq comments! It worked. You rock!!! :))) Like Wench Nikky and L’TUAE_42, I would also like to help spread the Gospel in Iraq, so if Duckman could find a way to get us his address (safely), count me in!
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Happy HOLIDAY season to Pastafarians everywhere! And everyone else, too!!
@Duckman
No doubt you’ve followed the discussion about how fellow Pastafarians could get your address safely. Some of us have their identity and contact info openly on their websites (although I doubt if Peter Popoff is the real guy). You could contact those people and let them know your info. This could of course lead to all sorts of bogus emails being sent by people claiming to be you, and other pranks claiming to want to contact you. But maybe it can be made to work. Does anyone know something about online ID verification etc?
Happy holidays to you all,
Peter (aka DutchPastaGuy)
ps: I hope that this post isn’t going to get my mailbox swamped with endless email serial bombing from IDiots
At the risk of repeating myself the letter2ted website could be used. Only the original signatories have access to the e-mail address you post as a contact. They’re pretty safe bets. I also remember Davey offered his company eaddy (linked to his name) for this a while back.
Ho Ho Ho merry *insertnamehere*mas
Nikky, Duck, et al
Thought I should clarify a few things:
1. Changed my online monicker from ‘Naughty Oarsman” mainly because of the season, plus it was just too image-provoking regarding the “queer-ass religion” post threat. I couldn’t handle the stigma.
2. ContAltDel is the only method I know to win a fight with the computer “Pull-Plug” doesn’t work on a laptop.
3. Humor is a wonderful diversion - but I still worry about a headline showing up with unimaginable horrific results from an ‘over-eager’ missionary. It just takes one person to jepordize everything - Take GW Bush for example…please…
4. Wish I looked like Mel Gibson instead of his dad…
5. Pasta for breakfast is excellent. My daughter has institutionalize the sacrament here.
6. “Here” is Vegas. It really does suck - but it’s friendlier in a ‘take your money’ sort of way compared to Baghdad.
Curiously, in the 10th century, Baghda was known as the ‘City of Light”
1100 years later Las Vegas is known as “The City with a Shitload of Lights”
Wow. His Noodlyness not only works in mysterious ways, he’s also got a terrific sense of irony.
Baghdad - That’s what I meant. Stupid laptop.
Thanks for the reminder Alchemist, I had seen the letter2ted but hadn’t realised that it could also function for anonymous communication. Useful.
And nice to see that new posts are appearing even on Christmas day. At least here it still is, your time zone mileage may vary.
Hi DutchPastaGuy. I think we’re in the same timezone (UK). Mind you, I’m in Yorkshire now so it’s anyones guess. Had a look at your linked site - the mathematics bit scared me off but it sounds like you’re doing some interesting work (I’ve always had a problem with equations that start with big squiggles :))
I love the idea of building a multinational experimental fusion reactor in France (I think I heard that?)
Have a good one.
Hi Alchemist,
I’m lagging the continent by 1 hour.
The physics involved in my work is numerical quantum mechanics, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. Quantum mechanics certainly is bizarre at times. A great theoretician, Richard Feynman said something like ‘If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you haven’t understood it well’. But if you’re doing rather applied quantum mechanics then the complexity doesn’t show up during most of your work. People who are way smarter than me write codes that implement the difficult theoretical side. For most of it I’m just gratefully using their work to get my things done.
You heard correct about the fusion reactor in France. But don’t count on that for at least 25 years to light your living room. And fusion energy has been ‘25 years away from’ us for the past 4 decades. But I’m not too worried. I’m interested in fundamental research to see how nature works, not the technological application. The research proposal from which I’m paid may have said something about the great practical benefits to society, but that was done probably because any proposal that doesn’t promise to solve global warming, air and water pollution, AIDS, abolish locust plagues and bring peace throughout the world has little chance of being accepted.
@DutchPastaGuy - you said the evil word (quantum) run away, run away. I still shiver when I recall QCD and PW Atkins. I’m one of the mathematical illiterate - I can suffer basic calculus but no more.
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What you said about AIDS, plague and peace. A noble statement and I’ll join you in it. Unfortunately a good number of people seem to relish these things. The age of reason has gone!
oops, didn’t read the end of your post (as usual). Sorry.
Still stands though. It’s a crying shame that scientific research is so dependent upon grants from business.
I was once sponsored by ICI (Zeneca) - All I managed was the null hypothesis :)
The only question is, will the Shiite and Sunni Muslims join opposite sects of the Church?
‘K, it’s been a couple of days, has SPC Duck decided which propoganda he wants and how we can send it to him? I also advise using someone’s site as middle ground for this. I will send stuff, I just need to know how. Duck, could you please say which of the posters and phamphlets you prefer? Colorful or wordy? Both?
Oh! Hey! Is there some sort of army thing we can send the stuff to, and they’ll pass it on?
SP5 R Kowalski
1st Signal Btn
44th Sig Bde
Long Binh, RVN 1971-1972
Is that the Duckman’s adress or someone else’s?
@L’TUAE_42
“Is that the Duckman’s adress or someone else’s?”
.
Not Duckman’s. It belongs to:
The Naughty Oarsman Dec 24th, 2006 at 10:43 am
Back up this page
Ok, sorry, my chocolate high is leaving me slightly disoriented.
hahaha…..I, myself have 4 or 5 boxes of those in the fridge unopened. Will make an effort to start on them sometime. I think I am still digesting yesterdays lunch (and drinks!) and may be doing so for a few days yet!
“Even without resources one lone Pastafarian has spread the word to the willing and now over 10% ( 3.27 people) of our installation have been touched.”
.
I wonder if Duck and co. have manged to convert the other 6.73% of that person yet.
Of course you meant the other 0.73% of that person didn’t you Grand Mama?
Hello Everyone!
I know it has been a bit long, but things have been happening over here…
1. Someone else in the Army in Iraq saw my letter, I am not sure if he wants his contact info added to mine for FSM stuff and I was waiting a bit to see if he was OK with that.
2. “Things” I cannot talk about that might have changed my mailing address got worked out.
3. A Fellow Pastafarian has found my myspace, I was kind of wondering it that would happen… neat
I have decided that hey, if you want to send stuff, contact me at my Yahoo account at
james.duck@yahoo.com-nospam please-
Blessed are the peacemakers:
for they shall be called the
Children of God
(Mat 5:9)
Jesus’s way is not by sword but by cross
http://club.us.cyworld.com/prcc