I am a very loyal follower to the FSM and a very peaceful pastafarian. However, something has made me quite upset lately. I was telling my classmates about Him and all of His wonderful doings while of course while wearing my eye patch and a pirates jacket. You know the basics. I was doing this because of my religious beliefs, as that’s what the FSM wishes we do. You know of course that pirate garb is not an option. I was just about done when my teacher calls from her desk if my eye patch is a medical thing. I, being loyal stated that it was for my religious beliefs and it’s not an option for me. She again tells me to take it off and I again explain it to her. Then she says if I refuse once more then she would send me to the principles office. I was enraged! The school policy says that the school can’t do anything about religious beliefs or go between them. I couldn’t go to the principles office because he would call my mom and explain it. She hates Pastafarians like me. Instead of speaking out against my teacher, I grabbed my gospel of the FSM and went over and showed her how this is actually true. She took it as a joke and took my eye patch. That is the same as taking a Christians cross.
This needs to be addressed. People are unaware that we are a serious religion and take it as a joke.
I am asking you to help me get FSMism recognized in my Middle school. I don’t necessarily need a class, although that would be nice. Maybe just a FSM awareness lecture. -Jeffrey
I suggest a well-reasoned letter to the teacher, principal, superintendent, and your local ACLU. Explain that it’s not your intention to make a scene, only to carry out your constitutionally-guaranteed religious rights in a non-disruptive manner. Perhaps suggest that other religious tokens be banned as well, Christian crosses, Jewish yarmulkes, etc.
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Thank you, Nikkiee. Means a lot coming from an old deck hand as yourself
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May your male strippers be to your liking. (I will take mine of the female persuasion when the time comes – please)
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RAmen
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Signed with my real name and e-mail (though I realize this risks GW Bush sending his Bornagain CIA death-force to silence me). Us Jeffs must stick together!
RAmen
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Oh, please! Not TLM again. I’ve been off living my life, as nerdy as it is, and I haven’t been catching up on the posts for a few days.
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LaughingMan, can’t a religion be satirical and real at the same time? What is reality, anyway? The Church of the FSM is more real to me than any church I’ve ever encountered. Oh, there I go being a philosophical hippie again. By the way, I’m too young to have been a bonafide hippie. I’ve got too many responsibilities now to do justice to the hippie thing, so I guess I missed out. You have pegged me correctly, though. If I could be a full-time hippie, I’d do it in an instant.
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@Alchemist:
‘I’ll hazard a guess that you’re not really 17. 14 perchance?’ But very, very, very, very smart. Haven’t you heard? He’s smart! Way smarter than us. Did I mention that he was smart?
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Signed (#11). I’m new here but for a long period of time, I have watched both sides of the debate. I use to be a Jehovah’s Witness as well as an atheist among other things. I prefer to think of myself currently as a follower of Confucianism. There are
none smarter than those who can use reasons without opinions. In either case, I find this website a very comical parody of Christianity and any other forms of religion which has scribbled a greater being into their stories. Though, I do admit, I loved the Greeks for doing that. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to read the works of the Greeks who understood that, if a God or series of gods and goddesses ever existed, then they to would follow the sins of man. So anyways, I’ll post here and there, where ever I believe that I have a valid point to bring up. So, in the name of his holy appendages, ramen!
PS. I live in Maine, one of the whitest and most Christian states ever. :P
PSS. And I still don’t understand how some fail to recognize the parody of this website. Some of the hate mails you guys receive is utter blasphemy. They incorporate none or a lack of thought process. Yet, as I read through most of the posts in reply, people clearly states that it’s a parody.
PSSS.Also, a point I would like to make to thelaughingman, you state that kids don’t understand the concept of religion and you do? You think that all the divine interpretation that was placed into the bible would be comprehensible if a greater being gave them to us? If so, you are saying that God is small enough to fit into our brains and that everyone is a part of God, therefore, we shall all go to heaven and not hell (which is a shame, I know, I’ve always wanted to visit Norway myself). Your constant twittering about how people are inferior to you because we don’t believe in the same general ideas as you is as childish as you can get. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a child and more so, I’m quite offended by your stereotyping of the classical “child”. Being 16, I don’t admit to knowing everything, but by grace of human nature, I will argue my point as firmly and with as much backing as any adult. In conclusion, I think you need a new look on life and realize that you aren’t converting anyone on a website with those who don’t believe as you do. Ok, I’ll stop with the PS’s there.
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Sorry for some of the grammatical errors. English was not my first language and it’s 1 in the morning here with me trying to get some last minute studying with my biology test tomorrow. :P
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@CcGame
RAmen
Is it ok if I say:
Confucius say…..
‘Behind every successful man is good woman…and very surprised mother-in-law’
or
‘Man who open car door for girl friend reveal something… Either car is new or girlfriend is new’
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Forgive me, I know it goes deeper than that. Just couldn’t resist!
Good luck with the test….May His Noodley Appendage guide you.
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Lol, I don’t mind. I never really took notice towards derogatory terms anymore after my studies on deconstructionism and the general conversion to such an idea. And thanks, it shall be an interesting test. ;)
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I’m not saying what you wrote is derogatory, I’m just expressing a higher level of acceptance. :P
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Woe..this goes a little just a little further.
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Talk in Class Turns to God, Setting Off Public Debate on Rights
“KEARNY, N.J. — Before David Paszkiewicz got to teach his accelerated 11th-grade history class about the United States Constitution this fall, he was accused of violating it.
Shortly after school began in September, the teacher told his sixth-period students at Kearny High School that evolution and the Big Bang were not scientific, that dinosaurs were aboard Noah’s ark, and that only Christians had a place in heaven, according to audio recordings made by a student whose family is now considering a lawsuit claiming Mr. Paszkiewicz broke the church-state boundary.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/18/nyregion/18kearny.html?ex=1324098000&en=87af8b74af1e13cc&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss
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Also, some of the recordings at this site
http://rationalrant.blogspot.com/2006/11/little-attitude-adjustment.html
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Wench Nikky Dec 19th, 2006 at 5:49 am
Woe..this goes a little just a little further.
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Talk in Class Turns to God, Setting Off Public Debate on Rights
“KEARNY, N.J. — Before David Paszkiewicz got to teach his accelerated 11th-grade history class about the United States Constitution this fall, he was accused of violating it.
Shortly after school began in September, the teacher told his sixth-period students at Kearny High School that evolution and the Big Bang were not scientific, that dinosaurs were aboard Noah’s ark, and that only Christians had a place in heaven, according to audio recordings made by a student whose family is now considering a lawsuit claiming Mr. Paszkiewicz broke the church-state boundary.â€
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/18/nyregion/18kearny.html?ex=1324098000&en=87af8b74af1e13cc&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss
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Also, some of the recordings at this site
http://rationalrant.blogspot.com/
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That last link is wrong (rationalrant.blogspot…)
Try again:
http://rationalrant.blogspot.com/2006/11/little-attitude-adjustment.html
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This has not particular place to go, so this as good as any.
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Looks like another has been outed at New Life Church in Colorado.
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http://pandagon.net/2006/12/18/another-colorado-fundie-is-busted-over-sexual-misconduct/
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OEJ
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Stand up for your rights dude! I admire your bravery and zest!
As for jimbo…I had no idea two year olds with severe brain damage had internet access.
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@OEJ wouldn’t be be funny if it turned out that the whole 14K church was gay.
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@ Beastly Rich
If they keep coming out at this rate it shouldn’t be long ’til we find out ;>
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what was that story about the emperors new clothes?
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lol Rich. Christians are their own worst enemies.
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Welcome to New Life Church! All visitors please fill out one of the information cards located in your pews. Following the benediction, first time visitors to New Life Church will receive a complimentary ‘reach around’!
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RAmen
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Signed the petition, Good luck to you and keep the faith brother pirate. Oh, and CcGame, I live in Maine too! It is great to know your around. We are moving to Austria in a couple of months though! Hope to spread the good news of his Noodleship there. ;)
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“As for jimbo…I had no idea two year olds with severe brain damage had internet access.”
I was actually under the impression that those posts came from an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of computers and internets. But I haven’t fully considered the possibility that the stupidity of a post could be irreducibly complex.
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@ MaskedPirate
Hahahaha! Nice one!
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@MaskedPirate
‘But I haven’t fully considered the possibility that the stupidity of a post could be irreducibly complex.’
Ahh….I take it that you have missed all of TLMs posts then.
RAmen
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is there an online petition anywhere, can anyone set one up? I would be happy to sign that, but living in Wales (Great Britain for the geographically retarded pastafarians among us lol) means that coming to America to sign a petition is a wee bit costly :P
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it’s an online petition, Jeff posted the link around the middle of this web page.
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@WW
But it is Kearny NJ so I don’t think that really counts as America.
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Just give me her adress and ill right a letter. A angry one! From england! And other that that the only thing we can do war, but we hardly ever do that.
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Clearly it’s your teacher who needs a trip to the principles office. You are endowed by your noodly Creator with the inalienable right to the free exercise of your religion. Stick to your guns…er, cutlasses.
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http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/FSM/
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Post the name and address of your school, and I’d be more then willing to write them a letter.
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Similar situations have happened to me. Fortunately, the majority of my school is open-minded, and a few of my teachers have even allowed me to hang posters of His Sauciness in the classroom to catch the attention of my classmates. Sounds like your teacher could learn from their example.
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@Big Popo
Im not going to give my address out online, but if you write a letter and send it to me at mystdragon333@yahoo.com then i will send it and give you credit.
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I love it when you say ‘big pappa’ put your hands in the air and say ‘papa’
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I’m sorry to anybody that cares, but I’ve been on my own holiday for the last two weeks now. And I have been drinking accordingly.
And oh yeah, I love music!
Ramen
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Um…Eggy, at the begining of the Gospel it says it does contradict itself (as do all religions), which is the FSM testing us. Really, read the gospel again, it’s a very good book.
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Signed.
Good luck!
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Interesting (to me, European) to notice that this kind of debating still is possible in the US! Although I’m convinced there is no way to convince people who are used to think solely within their own circle, denying and/or ignoring everything outside it (outside and contradicting!), you should keep on trying. Good luck!
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Found out about FSM yesterday, loved the idea AND the design, found in intelligent (haha), ordered two T-shirts. Yeah!
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I feel for you. My Christian debate teacher gave me an F and told me to “repent or God will punish me” because I gave a speech that pointed out many of the flaws in Christianity. Organize the wearing of eyepatches all on one day. ;)
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Hmm.
One wonders if Jesus created ‘christanity’ as a joke.
After all, when it was created, He claimed to be the ’son of god’. He may have been decided to do it for a laugh, and people took him seriously. so seriously in fact, that he ended up being killed for disrupting the major religions at the time. Who’s to say that Jesus wasn’t criticized like this.
By the year 4007, We shall be a major force! My fellow pastafarians, We are the forerunners of the world’s newest religion!
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Another thought concerning religious discrimination: in Ancient Rome (during Julius Cesar’s reign) about 400 religions were counted. They were admitted, as long as they sacrificed to the Roman gods too, and later to the emperor. Only the two Bible-based and monotheist religions refused this… provoking the persecutions of their followers. Couldn’t live with the IDEA of having other -necessarily erroneous- religions around. It took the rise in power of an emperor who sympathised with their religion, to have a living at all… and then the troubles REALLY began… for the others!
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Well Jeff,
Perhaps you should check in with the nurse about your mental state. I hate to break it to you, but you very well might be retarded.
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suck my dick. this crap isnt even a real religion. i hope you choke on pasta!
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Helloooo…im not as drunk as these guys :)
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@im not as drunk as these guys
Don’t you realise the FSM loves you too? HE LOVES YOU! No matter how hard you may try to deny Him, you’re one of His creatures too. Why aren’t you more receptive to His great warmth and mercy, for He is the warth itself, with truckloads of mercy thrown into the bargain at no extra cost at all! If only you would open your mind to that. If you knew how magnificent it is to be touched by His noodly appendages, your life would be so much fuller and spiritually richer than it is right now. You’re really missing out.
Many of the misguided post deeply insightful messages such as your, and I must admit I can’t match the intellectual level that you display. And I’m sure you’re saying it from the depth of your heart and that you mean as well to us as to all others. Yet I’m afraid you’re wrong. The FSM LOVES YOU, HE LOVES YOU!!
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That is a horrible, horrible thing to do.
She could be sued. No joke.
We’ve got to do something about this. Make is known that this is a religion.
I would have gone to the principle’s office. The principle is usually understanding, plus you could show him this site as proof.
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im not as drunk as these guys
Jan 13th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
suck my dick. this crap isnt even a real religion. i hope you choke on pasta!
So let me get this straight… You want us to suck your dick?!
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