Take a look at some of the hate mail on this site…some people actually have said it ruined their lives because their friends have believed in this stuff, and yes in fact I do know a girl who told me about this, and yes, she does belive in this stuff, with all of her heart. I don’t think that you people take into consideration that not everyone is the brightest crayon in the box and people will believe in anything they’re told..it’s a fact of life. I mean…I’m all for fun and games and joking around…but there really is a point of taking it to far. I mean…come on…look at what you’re doing in your spare time…it kind of depresses me.
-Jacob
@cchheell Dec 11th, 2006 at 3:59 pm
‘i think i should stop being publishd’
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I concur.
Ramen
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You know, when we declare that millions must be killed and maimed in the name of a diety, yeah, will have taken it too far. Until then, I don’t think any other group can talk shit. Let he who is without sin eat the first meatball. RAmen.
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@ cchheell
Arrr… ye need not publish yerself any longer then! Ye be not much else than a squiffy sprog as it is!
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RAmen, arrrr!
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What? Religion ruining someone’s life? Unheard of . . .
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@Jacurutu: Yes, you bring Jacob’s post crumbling to the ground. The free sex of early Wiccan society ended the political lives of mayors, governors, and lords. Christianity responded by created witch hunts and murdering thousands of innocents who were Christians themselves. The saccing of pagan icons by the by all other competing religions still reek havoc today. For example the VA will not allow a Pagan soldier to put the pentagram on his tomb stone. The near extermination of the Jewish race. Then the wars and bigotry that spawn from all religions have also destroys countess lives. FSM cannot compare to the past since we are all open minded and encourage the freedom of speech and belief reguardless of what it is.
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I doubt there’s anyone moronic enough to believe completely and wholely in the FSM..
(I don’t mean it, really. All hail his noodliness.)
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@Kiki: I strongly believe in everything his Noodliness represents, and am looking forward to visiting the beer volcano and stripper factory in the name of Pasta.
RAmen
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I look forward to forming huge Conga lines that would meander from stripper factory to stripper factory and end up at the beer volcano for refreshments.
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If someone actually totally believes in the FSM, they obviously have an easily impressionable nature. So isn’t it better that they get sucked into this kind of religion first, rather than into some other cult? Pasta on a friday and pirate costumes are going to do them far less damage than serious brainwashing. Think of it as salvation.
RAMEN
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Again I must stress that everything the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the absolute truth.
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I love all of of you pastafarians, you guys, “and gals”, are amazing and hilarious
RAmen
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RAmen!!!
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Ooh, stop it! I just bought that irony meter!
Oh, damn.
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@ Q: wwfsmd? A: whatever it wants
RAmen and welcome aboard. May you be forever touched by His Noodly Appendage.
MJK
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First off, let me start by saying that i love this site, i laugh my ass off constantly. However, like many internet sites there seems to be some false information running around. First let me say “WTF” buy a dictionary, i frequently spell words wrong (and probably will in this post) but i have never seen the English language raped so completely. Secondly “Saucy Wench” while i respect your opinion you fell prey to a common misconception during one of your posts. You mentioned something about the United States Constitution being a farce and cited the “seperation of church and state” clause. Let me state for the record that there is no such clause or reference in the U.S. Constitution. Being an avid patriot of America (although i hate the current government with all my being and resent most politicians)i have read the constitution through and through and our fore fathers never mentioned a seperation of church and state. This country was founded on Christianity but is to remain tolorant to all religions as stated in the Bill of Rights. “Seperation of church and state” is a relatively new phrase brought about mid century when politicians decided to become more “PC”. You can take my word for it or read the Constitution yourself (btw, it’s a boring read). Anyway, just for the record, i am a Christian but i completely disagree w/ ID being taught as a science. I am not well educated enough on ID or Evolution to make an inteligent argument so i won’t even waste your time or mine. I am at least inteligent enough to appreciate the humor and brilliance of the CoFSM and its grand creator (BTW anyone brilliant enough to invent beer volcanoe’s and stipper factories deserves to be our next president). And Saucy Wench, i don’t mean to offend and usually enjoy your posts, but as a patriot i felt the need to defend the constitution against false information, but please don’t take it personally. Let me conclude by saying to anyone whose “lives were ruined by FSM”…. get a new life.
May his noodley appendage touch us all (preferably on our junk)
RAmen
Dr. Worm
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I didn’t think our english was so bad, it’s the theists that don’t bother to spell.
read: http://www.religioustolerance.org/scs_intr.htm
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The First Amendment reads:Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” and was rattified in 1791
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You should have read more carefully.
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@Beastly Rich
The key phrase in the First Amendment is “Congress shall make no law repecting an extablishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof” This simply means that Congress does not have the ability to impose laws upon the rights of followers of any religion, mainstream or otherwise. Furthermore, they state “NO LAW.” This means Congress can neither combine church and state or seperate it, Congress simply does not have the ability in either respect. But at this current time, people beieve that it is illegal or un-constitutional to combine church and state when it really is not, because no law can be made regarding the relationship of the two. Granted, this phrase is up for debate regarding its interpretation, but i believe this phrase means that the choice is up to the people of the region, not the federal government. Those in the Bible belt may decide prayer in school is ok, while those in California may decide otherwise. In either case, it should be the choice of the surrounding populace, not a few paid off fat cats in congressional seats. I believe our fore fathers meant for issues like this to be taken up by the people from region to region. If you happen to be a minority in any region of America, you always have the choice to move to an area where you can join the majority. On a side note, i recently visited D.C. If our fore fathers really intended a complete seperation of church and state then our monuments would look much different than they do today. It’s almost impossible to find a historical monument in D.C. that does not at least reference God or depict some type of biblical scene or reference. As i said before, people can follow any religion they want, i really don’t care, it doesn’t affect me. But i stand by my previous argument that seperation of chuch and state is not in the Constitution, although im sure my argument has not changed your mind anymore than yours changed mine. However, i do respect your opinion and am impressed that someone actually took the time to check up on my previous rantings. Kudos
RAmen
Dr. Worm
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“This simply means that Congress does not have the ability to impose laws upon the rights of followers of any religion, mainstream or otherwise. Furthermore, they state “NO LAW.†This means Congress can neither combine church and state or seperate it, Congress simply does not have the ability in either respect.” This is rubbish. As a statement it makes no logical sense. How the hell did you get to “This means Congress can neither combine church and state or seperate it, Congress simply does not have the ability in either respect.” from “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”? The second statement from the 1st amendment directly contradicts what you said. Church and state were separated from the very beginning.
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” If you happen to be a minority in any region of America, you always have the choice to move to an area where you can join the majority.” This is bordering on bigotism. People shouldn’t be obliged to move and leave their communities because a load of the locals have decided that they break the local rules.
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†If you happen to be a minority in any region of America, you always have the choice to move to an area where you can join the majority.â€
— Expecially if there is no such place in existant, how ignorant of you to state; I mean really now.
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I respectfully disagree, Dr. Worm. The founding fathers forbid the establishment of a state religion, like the Church of England. That is what that part was all about. Remember the context of the times. Also remember the authors of the Constitution like James Madison who held that inalienable rights like freedom of religion were to be decided by central values, not by a majority of dissenters. He was a close friend and ally of Thomas Jefferson.
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Well first of all let me thank Oarless Marc for “respectfully” disagreeing with me, instead of treating me like an inbread yokel. Unfortunately it is hard for me to eloquently state my opinion in a series of threads. I think it is safe to say that no one is going to change anyone’s minds here so i might as well drop the subject all together before the flaming gets too irritating to read. It is obvious that we all have differing opinions when it comes to politics, but let me state for the record that i am not a bigot or racist, but i can see how my previous comments may have come off that way, if they did i am sorry. Anyway, perhaps if we were all in a bar, after 15 or 16 beers… some name calling… and a fistfight (that turns into one of those cool bar room brawls you seen in the movies) we may actually be able to change each others minds. Unfortunately that wont happen (I would love to get one of those cool facial scars from bottle across my forhead), bud i digress. Our opinions obviously differ, so i will respectfully withdraw my previous statements (as they have no business on this particular site anyway), so that we may continue to praise and spread the word of the Great FSM, and stop arguing over something as boring and un-funny as politics. As far as i’m concerned i’m happy to agree to disagree. May his noodley appendage strike me down if i bring up this particular subject again! Thank you for your input, and thanks again OM for being respectful in your response, you are a scholar and a meatball (meatball being a higher social compliment than gentleman) :)
RAmen
Dr.Worm
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Please be nice to the people who write hate mails. Remember the 3. of the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’tsâ€.
…Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay?…
I feel sorry for them.
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It is a joyous day when another soul finds its way to the warm plate where His noodles dwell. Parmagiana Ramen!
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Dr. Worm- “i have never seen the English language raped so completely.” You should check out some of the hate mail. Makes you weep for the future of the world, really.
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I don’t agree with your posts on seperation of church and state, but hey, you were respectful about it, so whatever. Welcome to the Holy Church!
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@gill
well gill it definately looks like i stand alone on my stance but thats ok, im kinda use to being the minoirty when it comes to politics, no big deal. I just don’t want people thinking im a bigot or anything like that. anyway, thanks for the warm welcome to the CoFSM!!
RAmen
Dr. worm
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The Church of England has drunken Bishops and Vicars with an unhealthy interest in children.
Damn their eyes the scurvy dogs.
As for our Catholic clergy in our blessed England………They’re bl**dy worse!
Gawd bless our dear Royal ( touch my forelock) family, the Prince William finished his military training today, I wonder when he will be posted to I-raq?
I’m not holding my breath!
All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, splice the mainbrace Brothers, Ramen Arrr.
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42
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You know, i was thinking…. If the FSM is a parody of God and his creation of Earth, where are the other similarities? Creationism was explained by the Great Prophet in the form of mountains, trees and a midget. And Heaven is explained as beer volcanoes and stipper factories (i can’t wait till i die!!!) But what about his “only begotten son?” Has the FSM sent his son to Earth to srpead his word? What about crucifiction (don’t know if that’s spelled right or not)? Anyway,i guess what i’m saying is that i would like to know more about the history of the FSM and how he has effected mankind. If there are any adult swim watchers in the church that happen to love Aqua Teen Hunger Force as much as i do, i propose that Meatwad be the physical embodiement of the FSM. He’s a giant meatball, he’s kind and spreads the message of love and rainbows…. and he makes me laugh my ass off. I admit to being fairly uneducated on the FSM but if we have not already recognized his physical presence on Earth, i think Meatwad fits the bill. Everyone let me know what you think…
RAmen
Dr. Worm
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‘But what about his “only begotten son?‒
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The FSM is different to the god in the bibble. There is, of course, the Midgit and also an unconfirmed reference, in the GoFSM, to the Midgit being turned into a penquin by the FSM. Like all other religious works, details are still coming to light. (translations at any rate)
RAmen
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There are also rumours of a guy called Cheesus, but, like hell, they seem to have been added on outside of the text.
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Oh yeah, Cheesus. I forgot all about Cheesus!
RAmen Jingles
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@Jingles
Thank you for bringing up another issue, for non-believers of FSM what is the opposite of beer volcano’s and stripper factories? Urine volcano’s and hippie factories? I just feel i need to know more about the religion, and i’m way to poor to afford to go out and buy the Gospel. Is it posted online anywhere? i just feel i need more answers. But seriously I vote we consider Meatwad as his chosen Messiah for this world
RAmen
Dr. Worm
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I can’t believe that so many people have taken this thing seriously; I mean, come on, this was so obviously just a well constructed joke, a very well constructed joke at that. Can’t anyone appreciate the humour. It doesnt say much for humans that one guy excercises a highly developed sense of humour and suddenly some quite serious controversy arises. I loved this website, in fact i was quite disabled with laughter over the ahte mail; that people could take it so seriously was the best joke i have heard in a long time, and i have heard a few precious ones.
Anyway, thats all i wanted to say, and thanks for the laugh!
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“…for non-believers of FSM what is the opposite of beer volcano’s and stripper factories? Urine volcano’s and hippie factories?”
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Nah… nothing so cruel.
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We just make them brew the beer, stoke the volcanoes, do the dishes, swab out the stripper factory, and other menial tasks, before letting them go on a break with ugly strippers and flat beer.
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Please note though, that’s really only for the ones that are arseholes about not believing.
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Those that don’t know any better, but don’t disrespect the church, just have to wait in line for the beer volcano, and don’t get the really top of the line strippers, only the alrightish ones.
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Finally, what’s wrong with hippies? Peace loving, good music, and let’s face it, they were usually far too high to try and argue religion… sounds pretty good to me.
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hey people,
i know everyone has there own opinion with religions.. this message may sound rather foolish coz i am only 14 years old… i read about this religion because i went to my local theme park, and these FSM beleive gave us little pan-flettes with the information about this religion….
I was really thinking too myself about the beleifs that you FSM beleivers have put down… such as: Beer Volcanoes, Stripper Factories(tht wuld b good :P)dressing up as pirates?
when i saw the pirate part…i thought to myself ‘What The Hell?!?!’..
ive searched pretty much around the internet for proof and studies that pirates keep the temperature down?
Pirates do nothing for the Temperature and Global Warming? when there at sea, they dont just get this big vacuum looking machine and suck in all the green-house gases that float infront and above them?
but you know…. i have NO religion beleifs at all… i dont beleive in god or anything because i havnt really thought at about it…. im only a 14 year old boy who thinks this FSM beleif is more for humour but im not going to offend anyone who beleives in this religion… or any other religion… i shuldnt even care about this… but i just want to know all the answers and proof for these so called.. “Scientific Studied Facts” of the Flying Spaghetti Monster….
Would that mean that the FSM’s favourite country is ITALY and hes nationality is Italian??
jokes….
thanks everyone,
Ozzy
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Great post Ozzy!
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Don’t discount yourself for your age. You grasp the concept of the FSM better than many adults that visit here.
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And don’t be afraid to offend religious beliefs. Religions deserve no special reverence. It is only social conditioning that leads us to think so.
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So, the pirate in me says… Good on ye Jim-lad! Tighten tha main! Thar be rough seas ahead, but treasure beyond! Yaarrrg!
.
OEJ, Ship’s Navigator
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~~CONTINUING~~
oh god….. i just read some even more information on how the countries were made…..
it just makes me wanna cry…
EXAMPLE: Australia(where i live) the kangaroo’s and joeys tryed to jump very high
And tried to fly like the FSM, but unfortunatly japanese people took pictures
of the kangaroos and joeys which took the FSM spell away from them
Disabling the kangaroos to fly… so the FSM’s revenge for this, is too get
God-zilla to eat the japanese people…on the way home!!!
WHERE DO FSM’s BELEIVERS GET THIS INFORMATION FROM!?!?!
THEY HAVE NO FACTS OF THIS PROFANITY!
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thank you One Eyed Jack…
i just really dont know how this religion can be true??
to me it makes no sence….
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HAhahahaha
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Yay, another Aussie! There are a few of us. Keep an eye out for wench Nikkiee and spotted zebra as well.
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It’s as true as any other religion Ozzy – watch out also for the demons with the pointy sticks from the Christian hell, and lots of other hard to believe things – welcome to the wonderful world of faith – pick a fairytale and believe in it ;)
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that is SO RELEIFING!!!
i wanted to know if there was some aussies on here…..
ill remember u Jingles, Wench Nikkiee and Spotted Zebra
cya,
Ozzy….
p.s. Would i really want to be touched by a Noodly Appendage owned by 2 large round balls? thats right…… u think about that :P
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“p.s. Would i really want to be touched by a Noodly Appendage owned by 2 large round balls? thats right…… u think about that :P”
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Beats getting nailed to a cross.
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OEJ
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Hi Ozzy
‘Australia(where i live) the kangaroo’s and joeys tryed to jump very high
And tried to fly like the FSM, but unfortunatly japanese people took pictures
of the kangaroos and joeys which took the FSM spell away from them
Disabling the kangaroos to fly… so the FSM’s revenge for this, is too get
God-zilla to eat the japanese people…on the way home!!!’
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Is this in the Gospel? ( still don’t have a copy..:(…) If not where can I find it?”
I hadn’t actually read this before, but it sounds good to me. In fact I love it!
I’m with Jingles…hahahahahahahahaha
Yep, certainly as believable as any other religion.
RAmen
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@ OEJ
C’mon, we’re inclusive right? Whatever floats their boat! Far be it from me to stop other people enjoying a bit of old fashioned S&M if they are both consenting adults ;)
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Ozzy, I just loved your posts. :) :)
RAmen
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l definately have to get onto getting the Gospel, especially now that the hard cover is available!
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Booty,
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There’s leather, restraints, and whips S&M (which I highly endorse) and then there’s the freaks in the corner with the razor blades. But, you’re right. If they keep it to themselves, whatever puts wind in their sails is fine by me.
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OEJ
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Hard cover? What? When? Where?
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OEJ
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I want to buy a load of them and put them in place of the bibles in the rooms of the hotel where I work, but I’m not that rich.
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hey again!
im glad Wench Nikkiee enjoyed my comments (u rock) :)
yeh i saw u wanted to know where i got the info from?
heres the link:
http://www.scq.ubc.ca/?p=233
just go in there…. and i just scrolled down till i saw the paragraph which started with the great country name Australia….
i havent really wanted to check the other countries, im getting a bit freaked out!
but i saw something in antarctica about dwarves turning in to Antartic Penguins??
cya,
The Ozzy Appendage
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