Take a look at some of the hate mail on this site…some people actually have said it ruined their lives because their friends have believed in this stuff, and yes in fact I do know a girl who told me about this, and yes, she does belive in this stuff, with all of her heart. I don’t think that you people take into consideration that not everyone is the brightest crayon in the box and people will believe in anything they’re told..it’s a fact of life. I mean…I’m all for fun and games and joking around…but there really is a point of taking it to far. I mean…come on…look at what you’re doing in your spare time…it kind of depresses me.
-Jacob
@tha beast from tha east,
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’so the fsm is just satire? there’s really no monster?’
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No, no, no! Of *course* there’s an FSM! Why else would we be here, Jim Lad? ‘Tis all true, to the tiniest noodle. (Don’t let scare-mongering tales of masturbation put ye off. As if they would. (BTW: @ God? Pasta? what has more letters? – Nice to hear you’ve got a hobby, anyway. Should build up your cutlass arm, at least.))
.
RAmen
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WHAAT? SATIRE??
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
/sarcasm
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If lives were truly being “ruined” by this “cult,” why is there not one news story anywhere pointing to a specific example? All you have are vague allusions to anonymous people who have had their lives ruined.
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I suggest that no one’s life has been ruined by FSM. The people who post that their friends believe in this whole-heartedly are making up stories to hurt FSM. Someone please prove me wrong and point me to a concrete example with a name.
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Leaving aside social control… the purpose of religion is (in my view) organisation of the worship of “something” with a view to joining that “something” after death in a great hereafter (heaven). Christians say that man was created in God’s image…but people come in different “images”… therefore should I feel like a second class citizen of heaven if I get to heaven and God turns out to be an asian female/black male/a kiwi (heaven forbid)/amazon tribesman etc (something not exactly like me)…Heaven by definition must be subjective (how could any two people have the same heaven) and therefore should I perish believing that I shall see the FSM then why should I not expect to see the FSM and be embraced by the noodley appendage…The FSM is as real as anything else…God may well also be a giant scarlet jelly bean but the FSM is way cooler…where’s my pirating outfit!!!
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What’s so hard to believe about an extraterrestrial teapot?
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I mean, I was messing around with a new method of highspeed pasta delivery the other day and managed to get a entire dinner set for 8, along with a pasta tureen and garlic bread holder, into the high stratosphere at least.
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Also, do not worry about our satirical god. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-tasty. Hence, it is within his power to be BOTH satire and truth, and feed a family of 6 and a bit billion on the side (with individual choices of pasta types, alcoholic beverages and garlicky breads).
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@Peter Popoff
As I said to Wench Nikkiee, I was never saying that we actually needed a disclaimer. I may not have been clear, but what I was trying to say is that such a disclaimer would be done if and only if we wanted one (out of our own politeness and kind-hearted desires to not hurt people’s feelings), and that one shouldn’t be put up just because random people make demands. I was trying to be courteous and acknowledge the points made by Jacob, but to say that no one has the right to demand not to be offended by anything the encounter on the internet.
-Avatar of Reason
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And just to add to what old Jingles is saying…he also…in his wisdom promotes pirates…
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I love my mommie!!!
Anybody want to buy some water…
It’s on sale this week…
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Old… me? Never! Heresy!
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Prematurely senile… maybe, but not old.
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FSM is more brilliant than eating babies.
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A Pastafarian who calls FSMism satire is like a Christian who only goes to church on Christmas and Easter. I pity your poor lost soul. You will never drink from the volcano. You will never see the stripper factory. You will never eat the meatball. May the FSM touch you with his noodly appendage and clear the darkness from your eyes.
RAmen
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@Jingles
‘He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-tasty. Hence, it is within his power to be BOTH satire and truth, and feed a family of 6 and a bit billion on the side’
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RAmen Jingles
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@ Italian Plumber – well said.
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@ General Rotelle
So how many ounces of water should I put you down for?
We’ve got water… Beer flavored water… Miracle water…
Get your water here…
Ramen
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And your religion is better because it is… more baised in fact??? pastafarianism encourages intelligent thought and debate wich is more than i can say for your email.
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@Peter
Water is for infidels.
I only drink beer. Weissen for breakfast, lager for lunch, porter for dinner. The Trinity.
RAmen
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Enough to drown your scurvy hide in…
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@ General Rotelle,
That’s a shame you feel that way! I am a hardcore Labatts drinker myself.
But me water is on sale… it is miracle water… And I’m bored to death, waiting for the hardcore fundies to come about.
Probably this weekend, they’ll show! They will!
Meantime: Water for sale… Get your Jesus water here…
Ramen
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May I make this statement again. I know this thing is a satire… you guys know that this thing is a satire. So why not just say that it’s a satire already? Even though this kid’s friend does seem to be a bit… daft, it’s still a good story to bring up the obvious… telling everybody that FSM is but one big farce. “Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.” Change it and stop being nerdy little kids on a mission to fix religion. You never will. For every one person like this kid’s friend who has brainwashed by FSMism, there are a million people who have been brainwashed by the Christians and Catholics. You can’t ever change them, you won’t even make a dent. That being said all this site really does is provide a forum for nerdy little kids to go around thinking that they’re cool because they believe an FSM made the world. People are getting hurt now apparently… and as you guys have claimed before “nobody has ever been hurt by FSM”. FSMism is already going down the path of bloodshed and destruction. Stop it… stop it now. Change the phrase to read “FSM is a farce” and be done with it before you do more bad than good. My heart goes out to you Jacob, since I’m the only one around here apparently willing to show some compassion. How ironic it is that the Athiest is the one to have a heart.
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The whole thing is making me very depressed. I’m glad I don’t suffer from Humor Deficit Disorder or I’d have to just hang it up. As it is, I’m going to laugh a little less heartily at the ridiculous things people have to say about Pastafarianism. Not much, but a little, just for a while.
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@TheLaughingMan
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Yawn……
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@TheLaughingMan
‘FSMism is already going down the path of bloodshed and destruction. Stop it… stop it now. Stop it… stop it now.’
.
Mind you it is funny being told that by a 17yo with a half a brain.
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TheLaughingMan Dec 7th, 2006 at 8:25 pm
May I make this statement again/
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I’m bored, so Ok, I’ll make this statement again…
If you don’t know what your into, when you are at the FSM, Then leave!
It’s that whole, I can’t fly a jet thing.
Get it? Got it? Leave!
Thank you
Ramen
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Brag to all your friends about having your name on top of a Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website thread do you?
RAmen
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Hey Jacob and LaughingMan,
Seeing that you’re so keen to satire, here’s some more for you:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
I’m anxious to hear your thoughts about it. (Oh, and be sure to check out the hate mail section while you’re there.)
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GAY ASS WEBSITE!!??!?!?!? I JUST WANT U GUYS TO KNOW UR ALL FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIVES THAT ARE GOIN TO HELL !!!IF I EVER SEE U IN PERSON AND SOMEONE SAY FSM I WOULD PUNCH THEM RIGHT IN THE FACE…YOU KNOW UR GOIN TO HELL U DUMBASSES …I HOPE U HAVE A FUCKED UP LIVE IF U WORSJIP OR WHATEVER THE HELL U NERD STAT TRECK GEEKS DO ON THIS FAGGIT ASS WEBSITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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About this ‘cult’ thing… I heard a good saying once, that I think applies here. It went something like, “religions are just cults with more members.” This is true. One could also say that religions are just mythologies that never went out of style- they were all created for the same reason. People have a pathological need to believe in life after death, and a benevolent creator that will take care of us once we are gone. In my mind, Catholic preists are just children who never moved out of their mother’s house: they perpetually need that sense of security and love to get by. Or are just too lazy to get a real job.
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Personally, if this is a cult, I’m happy to belong to it. At least OUR cult doesn’t glorify death, or support mass suicides. Or wars. Have you ever heard of a Pastafarian holy war? I think not.
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RAmen,
~W.A.
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@WTF-
And the same to you, friend. We are all brothers here, and I shall be happy to… ah, what was it? “PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE” if ever I saw you. Karma, dear WTF. Karma.
RAmen, and peace be with you.
~W.A.
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@ Wench Nikkiee,
.
I hear you. I often laugh right out loud reading things here. People say the darndest things. It is an endless source of amusement. I say that if people don’t like it, don’t come here.
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‘nerdy little kids to go around thinking that they’re cool’
Sounds just like you laughing boy! Your sanctimonious waffle, gets mind numbingly boring very quickly.
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@WTF
Get fucked Princess!
RAmen, and peace be with you.
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Check it out, if you click on WTF’s name, you can see the URL he typed in… That’s hilarious! It’s like he was so pissed off he started typing in the wrong box!
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I do feel the tiniest little bit of pity towards this laughingboy though, as he appears to be awfully desperate for some attention.
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My bad, he actually put a .com on it. It looks like he actually did put “fuckyounerds.com” as the URL. Wow. I wonder if he did that in caps too?
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@WTF
Release the caps lock child…..caps lock!
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@LaughingMan.
You know what’s a farce? The Constitution of the United States of America is a farce if separation of church and state is not upheld. Can you say religious freedom? I knew that you could. Oh, you’re too young, to get the reference there. Sorry. You have to pick your battles, son. We can believe whatever we want to believe. I believe that Intelligent Design should not be taught as science in public schools. If steadfastly saying I sincerely believe that I’ve been divinely touched by an invisible pasta dish is what needs to happen, so be it. Also, I am bothered/amused by people who say, for instance, that lenticular cloud formations are really alien spaceships. I’ve happened upon some websites claiming just that, and, because I know I will not convince them otherwise, I just laugh and leave them behind with a click of the mouse. It would be folly to post to their blogs (if they have them) that they need to retract their claims because some people are believing them. Let them believe, I say. It’s not my problem.
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Excellent SaucyWench. A big RAmen and an extra male stripper…..to your liking of course…in the afterlife.
RAmen
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One more post to laughingboy.
Laughingboy, there is some free Kool-Aid going over on the ‘RUN!!!’ thread, if you are interested.
RAmen
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@WTF
You wrote: “IF I EVER SEE U IN PERSON AND SOMEONE SAY FSM I WOULD PUNCH THEM RIGHT IN THE FACE…”
You’re going to punch us in the face? Not only are you an incompetent user of the English language, but you also don’t appear to understand how to defend your pacifist god. If you want to be a good Christian, you should obey his rule “Judge not, lest you be judged yourself.”
You also wrote: “I HOPE U HAVE A FUCKED UP LIVE”, which presumably means, “I hope you live a fucked up life.” Didn’t Jesus council his followers in the Sermon on the Mount to love their foes and pray for their enemies?
I hope you live a content and happy life, and that you stop posting hate in the name of your loving God.
-Avatar of Reason
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So I have temporarily changed my handle to something a little more trendy. Seems like everyone’s using it- the ‘wench’ bit, I mean. Don’t really know why, unless it gives you a little more ‘pull’ around here. I’ll try anything once.
I am saddened by the hate mail we get in this joint. It is either really low grade bait, or just really low grade effort from the fringe. Do I have to make up my own hate mail for us to respond to? I guarantee that it would be one helluva lot more credible and substantive than the crap we look forward to now. All in favor? Fuck it- carry the motion!
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Whatever happened to the guy with the oar?
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When I read that oar/ass hate mail, I distinctly remember spitting beer out my nose.
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@WTF:
I refer you to Matthew: 5: 43-44 and Matthew: 7: 1.
-Avatar of Reason
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@ Sister-wench *ankla1.com – I was Captain Saucy for a while, but I went back to SaucyWench because it was more fun, and well, wenches are welcome here. Some could say that we’re degrading ourselves, but I don’t take it that way. It’s all a big piratey puzzle, and wenches have a very valued place. Now that you’ve embraced your inner wench, you can hurl unladylike insults at any rapscallion who dares to attempt to rock your boat.
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Rock-n-roll!, SaucyWench- I am not too very worried about the rat-scallops so much. I’m a big fuckin’ wench as it turns out. With a shaved piratey head and gnarly goatee. But I am a wench just the same. Is there a local, or do we represent ourselves in all ‘ho’ matters? Yohoho matters, that is. Texas ‘t’, swimmin’ pools and movie stars, dammit! I’m Gumby! Gumby-Wench. Man I’m confused.
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Excelent post SaucyWench.
SaucyWench Dec 7th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
@LaughingMan.
You know what’s a farce? The Constitution of the United States of America is a farce if separation of church and state is not upheld. Can you say religious freedom? I knew that you could.
You hit the center of the bulls-eye.
P.S. Wenches should stick together like two peices of posta in a pot.
Have a good night and RAmen brothers and sisters!!
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Pirate wenches rock!
RAmen
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I want to be called Loretta. Tell me who said that, if you dare!
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To all Wench’s…
I was Swabbies Bucket, But “Peter Popoff” just kind of “pops”!
And gives me an instant edge on the fundies, I so love to hate!
Anyway, I’m to drunken to post anymores tonite! So I say to thee,
Buy my miracle water… it’s on sale now… get some while the gettin’s good!
And goodnite!
Ramen
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@ Gumby-Wench. Wow, what a strange series of visuals your post dragged me through. I think I need to sit down and have some ale after that one. Shiver me timbers!
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