Dear People who believe in the FSM,
Bobby Henderson is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
*update* TLM’s comment @ 8:15pm:
May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
I just wanted to note that TLM’s suggested book is amazon-ranked at approximately #153,000, whereas The Gospel is currently ranked at #825 (lower is better).
*update* TLM’s comment @ 9:17pm:
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need an FSM to add to the pile.
Who the fuck is Jim Jones?
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Oh …..the laughingboy again……..take your ADHD meds will ya.
IDIOT!!!
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Tom Jones’s brother? You are not going to sing at us are you Prophet Bobby?
RAmen
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oh, so u gonna kill us all?
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Jones
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I hope laughingMan runs in front of a bus.
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The LaughingMan,
If you’re that scared of Bobby Henderson then he must have a lot of power over you.
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*Brrrrrurp* I’ll have another glass of Kool-Aid please.
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@ Wench Nikkiee
Don’t knock ADHD people we don’t associate with dumbasses like that
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I’ll run to His Noodly Appendage
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Thank you Laughing Man,
thank you that you care so much about me and then you even say thank you to me!!!
Of course now that you have informed me about what my prophet really is and that the FSM is a farce, I will get over myself and go back to having what little life I had in the first place.
Thank you!
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I hope that he extends his noodly appendage and touches laughingman.
One day laughingman will realise that Pastafarianism is no less rational than much of the silly supersticious nonsense of the other world religions and in many cases much more rational.
Then he’ll start laughing.
RAmen.
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Oh! And we haven’t even had mandatory extra-marital sexual relations with him yet! What a ripoff! Oh, I forgot. I have to be a lesbian and get a girlfriend according to the Laughing Man. Will you please make up my mind for me, Mr. Laughing Man? If I can’t follow Bobby, I’ll follow you…..not!
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Uhhhh… Jim Jones is dead stupid! And, there has been no communities made for this religions people to live at as far as I know yet… Yeah, so he ain’t gonna’ kill yall’ will Flavoraide.
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After the amazing stupidity of TheLaughingMan’s previous comments he has yet again surpassed himself. It looks like he would win the top prize for lunacy if there were one. He/she is either playing devil’s advocate or is really just that dumb that they miss the whole point of Pastafarianism
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For those of you that don’t know, Jim Jones was the leader of the sect, The People’s Temple. In 1978 most of the members of the sect committed mass suicide, men, women and children. The sect started in Indiana but then moved to Guyana once the group began to be investigated for tax invasion. Jones recruited from the marginalized in society – at the time impoverished Afro-Caribbeans – and proclaimed himself to be the new Jesus. He was ordained by Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) (the same group that Ronald Reagan (40th president of America) was part of) in 1964. However, at the time of the mass suicide the church was in the process of revoking his standing because they thought he was mentally defected.
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As far as I know Bobby Henderson has not proclaimed himself to be the new Jesus or (seriously) claimed to be some kind of prophet. He has also not recruited from the marginalized and impoverished because I think it is probably safe to say that the people visiting this site fit into neither of those categories. Also, as Dawkins says in The God Delusion, that “American polls suggest that atheists and agnostics far outnumber religious Jews, and even outnumber most other particular religious groups.”. So, this group is hardly a minority (although if TheLaughingMan is really an atheist like he previously stated then maybe this statistic is not completely valid). Basically, Bobby doesn’t even compare with Jim Jones.
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One more point, if Pastafarianism was to be defined as any kind of group then it would either be a cult or a world affirming movement, using either the classical or contemporary definitions, respectively.
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RAmen
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Just had a thought. Is TheLaughingMan actually Dr. Michael Martin under another psuedonym. Bobby, by looking at the IP address is this the case?
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He can’t be, cause the Dokta likes pasting too much.
It is extremely insulting to compare Bobby to Jones. Jones was a certified psycopath. I know quite a lot about this, actually. As far as I know, Bobby hasn’t asked us to sell our houses and give him the money. He also hasn’t offered us kool-aid. And I seriously doubt he wouls shoot any senators or newspeople that came calling.
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I’m drinking the Kool-Aid now, and there’s nothing wrong wittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
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yeha… all i can think to say is that thats a piss poor analogy
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And yet further evidence that the world wide web is infested with useless shit.
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It’s Captain Henderson to you LaughingMaggot…where’s my pirating outfit?
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Good day Friends.
My name is Peter Popoff, I sell miracle water in the name of our God.
I’ve read about you’re wanting to drink Kool Aid here.
Might I suggest Miracle water instead? You can click on my name and learn about it.
It will make you (not me) wealthy! So have at it!
Thank you Jesus, Thank you, Lord.
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I think TheLaughingMan should get 50 lashes with a wet noodel.
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Dear Laughingman,
Why do you feel the need to just go out and attack FSM. This is not a cult, and even if it was these are completely different circumstances. First of all he isn’t taking advantage of people who need some kind of religious or spiritual help. Second he isn’t evading taxes. Third he can’t serve us that really good Kool-Aid of the internet. And finally, none of us are going down to Jonestown.
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From the way he writes, I think TheWhiningBaby has already drunk the Kool Aid.
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I find it kind of sad that TheLaughingman is able to recall the life and times of Jim Jones on the spot. Maybe (just a speculation here) he was one of his followers who survived the massacre at Jonestown. And if not than it is feaky that he, Jim Jones I mean, is the first to come to your, TheLaughingman’s, mind when you think of a satirical religion.
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@TheLaughingMan:
There is a large difference between saying that you dislike a man’s satire and slandering him with the claim that he is about to commit mass murder. If you have proof of your claim (which I very much doubt), please submit it and I, at least, will thank you for saving my life. If you do not, saying that is totally rude and unacceptable.
-Avatar of Reason
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well what flavor punch do we get?? i don’t like cherry so can we plz stay away from that…almost anything else is fine by me
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Kissing Hank’s Ass
http://www.jhuger.com/kisshank.php
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My bad. I forgot to compare him to David Koresh as well.
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Aaaaarrrrr ye lubber…ye won’t be laughing when FSM has ye kissin’ the gunners daughter!!!
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May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book.
http://www.amazon.com/Recovery-Cults-Victims-Psychological-Spiritual/dp/0393313212
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My lasagne tastes a bit odd….
gnnnnnnnnnnfftt
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Sorry, just choking on a bit of gristle. Ooeer, missus.
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Buy my water folks! Heaven awaits all who do.
Amen
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Ahoy there laughing man. I too had considered being an atheist, but there be not enough atheist holidays. Happy Holiday season Fellow Pastafarians!
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This has got to be a joke. Nobody could possibly be this thick.
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Argh Laughing Man. WE need not books like that. Me thinks cult members are more interested in rituals than the drunken pirates ye shall meet here. If ye wanted me to join a cult ye would have to be ready to give me lots of beer; volcanoes worth as a matter of fact. Not only that, ye would have to offer me unlimited naked wenches, a whole factory full. That and sustenance, starchy, saucy, meaty sustenance. Aye, then you might entice me to join a cult.
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@TheLaughingMan:
“My bad. I forgot to compare him to David Koresh as well.”
Once again, if you do not have proof of your claims, you should really stop accusing people of murder. Although Bobby Henderson is admittedly unlikely to take you to court, the United States does have laws against publicly maligning someone with claims that are both known to be false and said with malicious intent. If you absolutely must fight a religion until it is destroyed, permit me to humbly request that you destroy a religion that needs to be destroyed for the greater good rather than one that is intended to give people a good chuckle.
-Avatar of Reason
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Why does nobody ever catch the satire?
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Water for sale… Get your water here…
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Cult shmult! I’m here for the party.
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Satire ye say Hetzle mate? Where be that burried???
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Is the word ’satire’ not in this guy’s dictionary? I’m thinking he’s just some bored kid who wants to see how many people he can annoy.
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Find Jesus… Drink my water… Miracle water here… Buy one get two free… Fresh miracle water…
http://www.peterpopoff.org/
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Laughing Man,
I think your time might be better spent on the Scientology website. However, your genuine effort to save us all from mass suicide is appreciated.
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@TheLaughingMan
Are you crazy? Your acting like a crazy Christian cultist yourself. While I am a Pastafarian and think Christianity is wrong I look at your actions and see you as the crazy brainwashed side of Christianity. If you simply asked for discussion on religion instead of saying that Henderbob is horrible you might actually get converts. When I look at your comments I laugh at the hilarity of your funny comments. Its just as funny as http://www.chick.com
@Peter Popoff
1 Healing water powered by a fake god = lame
2 Try drinking it your self. You can prove its healing powers if you die from thirst after only drinking it for days.
3 Or are you just joking at the absurdity of the Healing water.
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# 3
Get your water here! Jesus heals…
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“Hitlary Clinton” “Feminazis” “Bush is compared to Hitler”. Look Avatar, the world is full of people publicly maligning other people. You wouldn’t know this though… you live in an FSM fantasy world. “Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.” Bobby says it himself. Saying that you actually believe in a flying spaghetti monster to me is grounds for insanity. cult /kÊŒlt/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhlt] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.)a particular system of religious worship, esp. with reference to its rites and ceremonies.
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need an FSM to add to the pile.
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Don’t worry laughing man. Our god is not a god of vengeance. There’s plenty of beer and strippers for all, even those who cannot summon the courage to simply believe in something so obviously true as the FSM.
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@ TheLaughingMan
Quote”The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science.”
What? Was this a typo.
And Bush is Hitler
Death to Space Nazis!
-Katsu
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“TheLaughingMan Dec 6th, 2006 at 9:17 pm
“Hitlary Clinton†“Feminazis†“Bush is compared to Hitlerâ€. Look Avatar, the world is full of people publicly maligning other people. You wouldn’t know this though… you live in an FSM fantasy world. “Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.†Bobby says it himself. Saying that you actually believe in a flying spaghetti monster to me is grounds for insanity.”/
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Would that be like saying, you believed in Christ? Except for the fact that the FSM, can be proven?
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Get your water here…
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Dear UnLaughingBoy, maybe you should study up on your opponent before you misspeak about its tenets. Just a suggestion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22
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What is up with this Peter Poofter bloke and his bloody water?
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@ peter popoff
take your water and fuckoff
@the laughing ass
we welcome your idiotic comments, gives us some thing to laugh about
also, if we’re wasting our time with this,
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING POSTING TO US?????
go have a plate of some kind of pasta and grow up
sauce and parmesan be with you
Ramen
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I don’t Know Mad John but he be in the wrong place if he be trying to sell water.
Beer, beer , Get ye holy beer here. Straight from the heavenly volcanoes…
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LaughingMan, everybody (with sense) knows that the FSM is satire and to a certain extent a farce. This is to show how silly creationism and ID is. Please, read the opening letter and try and rationally look at it and understand the context that Bobby was writing it. Look at other scholars such as Sam Harris, James Randi and Richard Dawkins, who all use the FSM as a means of showing the abusrdity of the world’s religions.
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Also, there is no point in comparing to Bobby to cult/sect/religious leaders/psychopaths because they all had unquestionable belief and faith in the things that they preached. Whereas I’m sure the main thing that Bobby believes in is reason, rational, and science.
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@TheLaughingMan:
“’Hitlary Clinton’ ‘Feminazis’ ‘Bush is compared to Hitler’. Look Avatar, the world is full of people publicly maligning other people.”
Was the point of that comment to state that because other people are do bad things you are permitted to do them as well? (At least my mother once told me that two wrongs don’t make a right.)
If that was indeed the point of your post, it would logically follow that because the world is full of religions (things that you as an atheist probably consider to be bad), we are permitted to do something equally bad, namely found and endorse our own.
-Avatar of Reason
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Know what? I can’t believe the “loving” response everyone has had to laughingman. He is so totally obtuse that even a mere reply to his useless verbiage is time NOT spent slurping sauce. Why waste our valuable sculling time on him? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok…….. I do know that it is totally fun to poke hot pointy things in him but really…. Let’s just catch some wind in our sails and dump this bit o’ bilge in our wake, shall we?
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Get your water here… It is also good for Fucking off, So buy some and Fuck off…
And you talk about satire? Seems you don’t get it, do you… PTG?
Water here…
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peter, i think ptg does get satire, it’s just that the way that you are performing your satire is the same as an 8 year old. By this I mean that you have basically spammed the comments with your “satire”. Please if you are going to do satire, do it well.
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Too many religion screwing up the world? You mean Christianity, right?
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@ popoff
sorry didn’t know you were busted for being a fraud
did god tell you to make money selling shit or was that your great idea?
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***Let’s just catch some wind in our sails and dump this bit o’ bilge in our wake, shall we?***
Noodle Noggin, you speak like a true sailor. Have you sailed the seas in a long tube full of semen? Please don’t take offense, I myself have floated for extended periods underway. Please to be making more nautical references :-) Also to be finding someone at your local fundy church to send us some more potent abuse.
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shit the Noodly one just touched me
let me start by saying
ohhhhhhhhh now I get it
I’m a little slow today, due to the hangover
I’m going to go eat some mac and cheese now
Ramen
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@ Leaper—Dec 6th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
I find it rather amusing that the word “whiskey” comes from the Irish word for “water”.
Uisce beatha (pronounced: ish-ka bah)— “the water of life”.
RAmen
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well, laughingman certainly makes ME laugh! Even if he does not appear to have a sense of humour himself.
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damn…guess he’s never going to shut up…
All hail! VD to the non-believers!
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Oh please.
Is there no explaining to some people?
I sincerely hope you are having a go at all the other “religions” as well – Scientology being the obvious one which springs to mind – now THEY are scary – we are just silly, and want more beer and strippers.
Go “save” someone who needs saving.
Become a lifeguard or something.
Stop wasting all those “Do gooder” emotions on us.
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Laughingboy is obviously to scared to have a go at a real religion, so he’s decided that we are an easier target. The kid needs to get a sense of humour and a life.
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Ahoy Scurvy dogs! since me noggin be hurting from smashing it on the scuppers in despair i got to thinking i’d aid the landlubbers for a change.
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REPEAT UNTIL IT SINKS IN (from dictionary.com)
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sat·ire /ˈsætaɪər/ – Show Spelled Pronunciation[sat-ahyuhr]
–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
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And i trust no pasta eating pirate would sully his gullet with koolaid – it’s rum or nought!
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#1: omg…maybe someone should write a FAQ on the FSM…
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Hey what’s wrong with tequila, vodka, whiskey and very large amounts of Southern Comfort, I can drink that stuff till the cows come home. Also I have a soft spot for Kahlua, goes well mixed with milk and vodka. I know a few people who’ve never forgiven me for introducing them to that stuff.
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OK just a little catching up here.
ADDGuy Dec 6th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
@ Wench Nikkiee
Don’t knock ADHD people we don’t associate with dumbasses like that
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Sincere appologies ADDGuy. Having studied stuff in this area, I really shouldn’t have said that. There was/is no excuse, I know better and really should have pulled my head in there! Please forgive?
Best wishes
Nikki
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@tavatievs Dec 6th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Jones
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Thanks tavatievs
I actually know who Jim Jones is. But none the less I really appreciate that you went to that effort. RAmen
I just couldn’t help playing with this guy. I’ve played with him all day yesterday. (I found him excellent fun BTW) He is a 17yo who is going to save us all from Prophet Bobby’s clutches. I love it!
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@ laughingbioy
“As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away.”
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No, you wouldn’t do that to us would you Prophet Bobby? No of course you wouldn’t! This guy is just too valuable for humour stimulation.
RAmen to our Prophet and may His Noodleyness always protect him. (goes without saying, being the Prophet and all)
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@Laughingboy
‘May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: “Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse’
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Thanks for that reference, laughingboy . I’ll be certain to recommend to some of our more needy fundie visitors.
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Prophet Bobby, I’ve been out for the day (day in Oz anyway) and came back to find that there seems to be free cordial being handed out, am I too late?
Forever in Pasta
Nikkiee
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“The Gospel is currently ranked at #825 (lower is better).”
Way to go :) Pastafarian Pirates Rock Rock Rock!!!!
RAmen
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Last one. Is it possible that TLB shares an institution with BLR?
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The CoFSM is a farce?
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You mean I perfomred this human sacrifice for nothing? Do you know how hard it is to get a permit for that? Not to mention finding a freakin virgin?
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Crap. I’ll be back later. Got to go dig a hole.
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OEJ
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Chilling vision of future headlines: Fire-blackened shells of a fleet of galleons found, still smouldering, adrift in the Mediterranean. Charred eyepatches and ashen legs among the debris, and a ten-mile-wide wake of crisped pasta fragments. No survivors – and the Church of the FSM website eerily silent…
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Does TLM really think we’re all planning on a mass-relocation to the Beer Volacno in the sky? If he does, then FSM bless his little landlubber cotton socks (his heart’s in the right place even if his brain isn’t) but that’s fantastic evidence of Bobby’s achievement. The horse is one step closer to Central Square, Troy.
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Next step: if we could get a proper listed entry in a Big Book of Scary Cults…
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@ OEJ – tut tut tut. (Hope you got some good meatballs out of it, though.)
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You guys don’t happen to have any leftover Kool-aid do you? I seem to have missed out. :(
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@ LaughingMan, Hmmm…. Let’s see. As has been said before, you trying to convert us is a waste of time. You could have started when you were born, and maybe just now I’d say, “Hey, is someone saying something to me?” By the time I might actually hear what you’re saying, I mean really listen to it and think about it seriously, I’ll be at the beer volcano. There are many worthwhile things you can do, however. Volunteer at a nursing home. Clean up a littered part of a highway. Stand on a street corner and scare little children by preaching about how they are going to burn in hell for being born unworthy. Nevermind that last one, bad idea.
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and I’m likely to sulk ’til..’til…well at least ’til TLM comes back anyway!! :( :(
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@J
“Chilling vision of future headlines: Fire-blackened shells of a fleet of galleons found, still smouldering, adrift in the Mediterranean. Charred eyepatches and ashen legs among the debris, and a ten-mile-wide wake of crisped pasta fragments. No survivors – and the Church of the FSM website eerily silent…”
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hahahahaha…..TLM’s sinister laugh!
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“Charred eyepatches and ashen legs among the debris, and a ten-mile-wide wake of crisped pasta fragments.’
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…roasted parrots….
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mmmmmmnnn roasted parrot and kool aid….
ice cream for deserts?
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As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away.
 
He’s never claimed it (in any seriousness) to be anything but. Will you shutup and f*** off now?
 
“Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.†Bobby says it himself.
 
Seriously? Ok – we’ll say it again: This is a PART of the satire – it parodies similar claims that other religions have significant basis is science. Did the highly spurious clamis not give you a clue?
 
Saying that you actually believe in a flying spaghetti monster to me is grounds for insanity.
 
SAYING it and MEANING it are two entirely different things – have you never heard of role play? Or suspension of disbelief?
When you sit in front of the television, do you proclaim
“Can you not see this isn’t real? Jack Bauer isn’t REALLY being torchered by the Chinese you know!”
or
“Purple Dinonsours don’t exist! And even if they did they wouldn’t have the oral dexterity to sing. And who in thier right mind would put CHILDREN in the care of a mindless carnivore?!?”
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WHAT?!? the purple dinosaurs aren’t real? they sure are buddy, homer said so in moes bar…
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BUGGER! Forgot the damned semicolons again.
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Hey! I don’t think the Peter Popoff guy is really the guy at the website. I thought it was someone actually being funny. At least, I appreciated it. Mind you, I’m not going to buy any water, but I thought it was funny to post as Peter Popoff.
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And I plainly can’t spell ‘tortured’
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Laughingboy is starting to remind me of the idiot who claimed that the spells in the D&D Players Handbook were real and actually worked.
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I am currently getting de-programmed as we speak. I didn’t realize how brain-washed I was.
THANK YOU LAUGHINGMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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@Spider Dec 7th, 2006 at 6:45 am
“ice cream for deserts?”
You have to wait ’til intermission.
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too many screwed up religions??? OK… 1st off the crusades… Christians…secondly Missionaries in Africa…Christians…irratating the hell out of me…Christians… losing their friends cause they believe in intelligent design (Refer to other hate mail)…Christians!!! FSM has never killed any1 and most likeley never will… as long as that damn Noah doesn’t park his Ark in my driveway… (Pirate hater)!!!
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Ever read the Harry Harrison story The Streets Of Ashkelon? Does a pretty good job of ripping the idea of Missionaries as decent people to pieces.
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Are We A Cult? And If so, dotn’t we get tax breaks for being a cult? Are there any CPA’s on board?
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Hello? FSM is a SATIRE. Oh, and Jesus led a cult for the first few hundred years. He had fewer members than WE have! A cult is any organization sharing a common belief that is not in the majority or common. Therefore… Bush supporters are a cult, intellectual people are a cult, I am a cult, my friends are a clt, and you are a cult! Go think about THAT!
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Jesus didn’t lead a cult for the first few hundred years because he was dead – people after him did (with over 30 different gopels), until the cult became state religion (Edit of Milan 313 ad) then 26 of the thirty were left out and, most destroyed, so we’ll never really know what he was on about – unlike the the great noodly one.
Yes Peter Popoff I would like some water (esp due to the scaly nature of my being) just let me know where myself and all the other old & sick people can send a big fat cheque.
Spotted Zebra, you needn’t have to dig far for satire as it is like most things you seek, right in front of your eye (note the singular due to a undoubtable patch cover).
As for purple dinosaurs – they may well be real as there is no evidence as to what colour they actually were. It’s all just speculation, but I do object to those insinuating purple creatures are not to be trusted….
Finally, why are dinosaurs mentioned by the bible or koran? The great noodly one put them here as further proof so as one day, when people saw the true light of his greatness, they would not actually prove his/her existence, but the non-existence of other heretical religions…
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@God, Pasta..
How come we only talk about Christianity when talking about screwed up religions? Are there no other intolerant religions? Why not talk about the Medieval Jihads? Larger empire that lasted much longer and suppressed many more of it’s subjects than the Crusades. I suppose here at the Chruch of the FSM we are only really against the teaching of Christian ID in American schools.
I mean gosh I feel guilty enough being white and being an American.
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@TheLaughingBoy:
.
To admit that satire is indeed a farce goes against the nature of satire.
.
When you grow up and go to school, you may read a small work of literature titled “A Modest Proposal for preventing the children of poor people in
Ireland, from being a burden on their parents or country, and for
making them beneficial to the publick”, by Dr. Jonathan Swift (1729). If you’d like to read it now, you can do so at this site:
.
http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext97/mdprp10.txt
.
If that’s too much for you, then feel free to look up the piece or the author in an encyclopedia or on Wikipedia.
.
If you think that anyone here will denounce the CoFSM as a farce, you are mistaken. If you don’t understand what satire is, nor how or when an issue is satirized, no one will take the time to explain it to you.
.
Jonathan Swift never once said that it was in bad taste for the poor people of Ireland to eat their children. Guess what? No one actually ate their children, committed mass suicide, and the author went down in history as providing one of the greatest pieces of satire written in the English language.
.
(Sorry Bobby, I didn’t mean to throw such high standards out there – keep up the good work!)
.
RAmen.
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CHEEZE DEATH TO YER FARTINGOR!
you skid make on da bontey.
dogs r a flamartigon to ur racist acgoncheese
do you know the god is gunu come and sind you warm beer comes out of volcanoes…..and pickels dof gon shredenheinen
FALGOR SHUT UP!!!!
sorry thta was my cousin hes german
sooo…
as i wuz sayin
llama cheese r poosickes 4 ur mom
i just insulted her
ya
take in da anger
monkey poo
BURN OHHHH!!!
u want somer spagetti 4 dat burn?!?!?!?
well 2 bad i ate FSM!!!
SUCKA FROM ANOTHA MOTHA!!!\
gibinbobigen skishin mutha f*ka
thats what she said
burn
snikkle poodar
stuid germs
he hates jews
im at skool
im sorry
fsm it sdied
fardenhoodlums
kill maketfeo
fivkle frok in a pocket
i just ate a bucket
cuz…..
so f*uck IT!
i dint eat da bucket
i ate DA FLIN SPAGETTI MONSTA
Jeez luise
i ate some peas
cuz im not 70deez
i dont say beez neez
i gotta no wife
cuz u need ta get life
decipher the stomredar
FALFOTSVG
STUPID GERMSN
IM JAMCIN
FAL MAMO MAN!!!!
peace
alo
sticklemalo finginfar
sincalo
alo
ALO
sincalo
nueva
ochodeaso
numanuman
ne
ne
numa
numa
numa ne
people dancin
numa
numa
numa ne
redar
staligrads
falmonto
i
hope
your mom
eats in da devils cafe
it askaleranoflugensnardU
WANNA KNOW AT DA LONG ET WORD EVA IS???
ITS IN DA DICTIOARY!!!
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOoooooooooOoOOoOoOO!!!
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Well alrightey then.
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Jesus tap dancing Christ, when will these people get it? Are they really that stubborn? Or are they just sad that this is a joke, and makes just as much sense as their own beliefs?
@ TLM, Thank you for all the laughs.
-Veritas
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@Jacobe Filpo
Funny you should say that, as if touched by his noodly apendages, I was thinking EXACTLY the same thing myself!
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wtf? i want better hate mail. where are all the craz fundies hate mail. this guy doesn’t know what he’s talkin about
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Hey Jesus…tap dance much?
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Jesus Tap water here… Get your Jesus tap water… It works miracles…
Buy one get two free… Jesus water here…
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@ Peter Popoff,
.
Have any Jesus juice, thats what I really need.
.
-Veritas
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Dear People who believe in Christ,
.
TheLaughingMan is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
.
Thank You,
Cap’nUberbob
.
=====
.
May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in Christ. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
.
=====
.
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as TheLaughingMan publicly announces that Christianity is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need Christianity to add to the pile.
.
- Cap’nUberbob
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@Jon E: ‘ripping the idea of Missionaries as decent people to pieces.’
.
I’ve known quite a few missionaries and they’ve all been enflamed assholes.
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If the missionaries you’ve know have all been inflamed assholes, might I suggest a different position?
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@Johnny Corvette:
‘How come we only talk about Christianity when talking about screwed up religions? Are there no other intolerant religions? Why not talk about the Medieval Jihads? Larger empire that lasted much longer and suppressed many more of it’s subjects than the Crusades. I suppose here at the Chruch of the FSM we are only really against the teaching of Christian ID in American schools’
.
There are indeed other intolerant and violent religions, but most of us come from Christian-dominated countries. I usually can’t go an entire month without some child-raping a-hole trying to get me to worship his invisible friend. It isn’t Muslims or Hindus that are trying to get the teaching of evolution banned in American schools.
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P.S. I’m in for the suicide. Let me know when and where.
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No, Veritas! Don’t do it! You have so much to live for; there’s pasta that has yet to be eaten!
-Avatar of Reason
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Please! Please people! Do not kill yourselves! Do not drink the Kool AIDS!
Drink my miracle water… enjoy eternal life, through Christ our Lord… via my water…
Buy one get five free…
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Oh…wait. So we aren’t going to kill ourselves for his holiness? Sauceit, I’ve been trixed again.
.
-Veritas
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@ Wench Nikkiee
Don’t worry I wasn’t really offended but if thelaughingman thinks this is a real cult then somthing must be wrong. I heard that the misunderstanding of metaphors and sarcasm were symptons of Aspergers.
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soooooooo…………
You mean intelligent criticism is in itself a cult? You think we are insane because we don’t want science polluted with disgusting religious propaganda? You think our prophet will ask us to commit mass suicide?
As to cult leaders ending up in bad situations, what religion didn’t start out as a cult? if insane cult-leaders historically end up in bad situations… well…, actually, that might explain something about Christianity and those fundies…
Bobby isn’t insane. he uses brilliant sarcasm and sparkling satire to help in our ceasless vigil against the evil advances of pseudo-science.
LaughingMan, either learn how to understand our movement, or cease with your less-than-intelligent attempts at conversion. we believe in Our Noodly Lord because he is tasty and he is good, and he helps us by revealing what total nimrods people become when under the effects of too much of ANY religion (yes, even ours). This is one of the the -only- religions made up largly of athiests, so please; learn what we are before you try to make us change.
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!FSM IS A BANNER! A gathering point for those who are SICK of people who just won’t keep their religions to themselves. Science is science, and we shall ALWAYS defend our right to learn the truth. Stop trying to turn science into your religious playground!
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NOW!
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Does that mean you don’t want my water?
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Dear Pee Pee Breath,
How kind of you to try to save me from the vise grip of the FSM cult. I have been trying to escape for months! Please, all-cay the olice-pay. Uh oh, someone is coming…
Uh, er. No, no, no. I worship His Noodly Goodness. No, they will have to pry the spaghetti from my cold dead hand. Please help!
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Okay, okay, I’ll get some of your fricking water. Just stop already.
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I’m a newcomer to this site, and I’ve found a few interesting facts, primarily the hypocracy of its followers. I appreciate the satire here, and have recommended the site to a number of my friends, mainly because I think it’s important that people not only know about the teaching methods in Virginia, but also that we as a society take a step backwards from the blind devotion to religion that seems to be present not only in regards to Christianity, but also towards Islam, Judaism, and a few others. As an anthropology student I think this is a great way to get across the message that Darwin’s theory of evolution is just as important as the Christian concept. The only thing here that’s bothering is, to be honest, the responses of the pastafarians when their “faith” is questioned. I know it’s all a satire, but has anybody considered that your written assaults on those who question or insult the FSM is quite akin to the responses of evangelical christians, fundamentalist muslims, or dogmatic members of other religions? I mean, come on. Just because you understand that this is a satire and can take it in good humour doesn’t give you the right to belittle the people who either don’t get the joke, or are choosing to be stupid about it. Coming back with terms like fucktard or anything else isn’t going to make these people understand, it’ll only make them more agitated towards the joke. Just because TheLaughingMan chooses to compare the creator of FSM to some batshit loco cultist in the US doesn’t mean we should immediately jump on him for trying to spark controversy and anger in the forums. Those who frequent the site and get the satire are obviously intelligent individuals, so who can’t they be the bigger person and ignore the ignorance?
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Stupid people shouldn’t breed!
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Geesh, lighten up. Here is how it works: some nutcase sends hate mail about sticking oars up our ass, questioning our sexuality, raping, pillaging, etc. Then we all pounce on the assclown and tear him or her to shreds. Fun, no?
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noleafclover@trentu,
.
“As an anthropology student I think this is a great way to get across the message that Darwin’s theory of evolution is just as important as the Christian concept.”
.
Wow, that’s not the message at all. Evolution is science. ID is religion. That is the message.
.
“… has anybody considered that your written assaults on those who question or insult the FSM is quite akin to the responses of evangelical christians, fundamentalist muslims, or dogmatic members of other religions?”
.
Ya think?
.
Did you hear that big wooshing sound over your head? That would be the point flying by.
.
OEJ
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@ One Oared Marc,
So would you like one bottle of water? Or thirty two? I’ve a good deal going if you would like thirty two… Get your water here… It will make you smarter and pretty too!!!
Jesus water for sale here…
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I’d love to be prettier. Do they make good gifts?
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Do they make good gifts?
Thats a gray area, right there. While they make great gifts… The gift giver must have a Doctorate in Christian ministries, for it to be effective. Should I put you down for a Doctorate too? Buy one… get three free… Plus a sample of water…
(Taxes not included)
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@Laughingman – You know, if you just got a clue, shut up, and stopped being the other side of the extreme sociopaths who happen to enjoy attacking Bobby and the rest of us Pastaferians, I think you wouldn’t seem as ignorant to the point where we all discredit everything and anything you spew. It’s seriously like you have diarrhea of the mouth or in this case the fingers because you actually sit and write out your stupidity as means to try and “convert†others to the living you think is proper. In retrospect you’re just as bad as those hypo-religious orthodox Christians with their missionaries whose beliefs cause them to be unaware of the meaning of logical reasoning.
PS. We all think you’re an idiot, we love pirates, and we love spaghetti, RAmen
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noleafclover@trentu wrote:
“Those who frequent the site and get the satire are obviously intelligent individuals, so who can’t they be the bigger person and ignore the ignorance?
.
Because it is very fun to push their buttons.
.
RAmen.
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@Jon E
I’ll try too find that book somewhere. Have you ever read that book by Terry Pratchett Small Gods? Very very good, also very very scary. People doing horrible stuff convinced it’s for the good of the souls of their victims. He also has a few choice things to say about missionarys in Eric.
@noleafclover
Personally I think we have every right to joke at/about people who CHOOSE to be stupid and stubborn about something. If you ARE stupid you can’t help it, if you CHOOSE to be however…
If you go to a site devoted to sat tulips and say I hate them, or everyone should love roses instead, you should not be surprised that people react (strongly even).
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@DutchPastaGirl
Have you ever read that book by Terry Pratchett Small Gods? Very very good, also very very scary. People doing horrible stuff convinced it’s for the good of the souls of their victims./
.
I thought that was called The king james bible?
Get your water here…
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@noleafclover:
“Coming back with terms like fucktard or anything else isn’t going to make these people understand, it’ll only make them more agitated towards the joke.”
.
Hopefully *soooooo* agitated that that little vein (y’know the one) goes *BANG*, and they leave the gene pool. Evolution Wanderers 1 – Fucktards United 0.
.
“Those who frequent the site and get the satire are obviously intelligent individuals, so who can’t they be the bigger person and ignore the ignorance?”
.
Who ever said that being smart makes it somehow *less fun* to bait the intellectual cripples that plague our luvverly site? Y wanna be in charge or something?
.
*You* frequent this site and apparently “get” most of the satire, so why can’t you be the bugger person and try *not* telling others how to think and how to act? You want to take a careful look at who you’re calling a hypocrite there, friend.
.
Peace, RAmen, Power to your Noodles.
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I would gladly eat cyanide coated spaghetti to enjoy the beer volcano and stripper factory.
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@davy people that does not understand our religion will always exist. They won’t ever leave our gene pool, since our gene pool is quite constant.
@popoff stfu with your water, drink it yourself!!
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@Davey Jones’ Hacker : We need to keep this man on this site. He helps keep me interested. All those dumb people who write incoherent hate mail are boring. At least TheLaughingMan has some point and some intelligence – enough to keep the banter going.
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Ahh Tommy.
Funny you should say that. In the middle of this thread… How much water would you like? I think you need the supersize myself…
Get your water here… It now cures hicupprisy… Get your water here…
Ramen
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I have 1 word to describe the laughingman: “asshole”
And as always, WTF take a chill pill man.
███████████████████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
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@peter Popoff: I will stick with my beer, thank you, unless your water has equal effects and the same great taste in a low carb package.
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@Tommy
please do not link your name to porn sites. we pastafarians are not opposed to a little piratey wenchy goodness, but porn is offensive and demeaning. in a world that has already been proven as sexist, supporting that discrimination will not earn you any friends here (as for the stripper factories, there are male as well as female). Yes, I am male, but I do NOT support that. good-by.
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“Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.” Look, I know that it’s a satire, you guys know that it’s a satire… so why don’t you change this line? That’s all I’m asking for. As soon as the line reads “FSM is a farce” then I’ll leave. No questions asked.
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@TheLaughingMan:
As soon as your handle reads “I am a self-centered bullying asshole who just wants things my way”, I’ll stop dreaming (in technicolor) about beating you until the breathing noises stop, you fucking Nazi.
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TheLaughingMan,
.
Why is it so important to you what we believe? The FSM is just as real as the God of Abraham.
.
Now go away. Bobby asked me to go shopping for Kool-Aid for 100,000 and I can’t find my Sam’s Club card.
.
OEJ
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Friends,
.
I would like to apologise sincerely for the previous post.
.
I meant to say “…self centered *smug, condescending, offensive, holier-than-thou psuedo-intellectual wanker* of a bullying asshole…”
.
Apologies again, normal service has been resumed.
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Laughing Man, FSM is not a farce! Well, not any more of a farce than any other religion. So, stop telling us to stop! We will all jump in the lion’s den and get ripped from limb to limb and then eaten while the Romans hoot and hollar and throw coins at us but we will not give up our beliefs in our Almighty Pasta. No sirree.
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Dear LaughingMan,
I have been having visions of the FSM all my life. I just came across this web site about a month ago. And here you are, already a doubter has come to spoil my happiness. I, personally, have been touched by His Noodily Appendage. You might say it only happened in a dream, but it’s REAL I tell you! Real! Aaaargh, matey!
See? See what I mean? Already I am having urges to sack somebody else’s ship, and me with only a little canoe!
I think you should stop being a doubting laughingmus, and get on board with us. His Holy Meatballs feed us all the knowledge we need. He is all we need on our plate. Stop being so starchy and dip your fork into the wisdom of the FSM!
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Still taking ore-derrs… Get your Jesus Christ Almighty, Mighty Miracle Water…
Buy one get some extra for free… Makes you pretty… Makes you Holy…
Gets you stoned… ect. ect. ect.
It does whatever you want it too… Otherwise it wouldn’t be such a miracle now would it?
Taking ore-derrs, from now til Ramadon… (9:30 PM EST.)
Get your water here… It’s not satire… Orr is it? 34.95 per once… Cheaper then weed… Get your water here…
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Getch yer ‘Oley Water
.
Cures ever’ting
.
Makes Miracles
.
Side effects may include converting, praying, possessions, donating large sums of money, drowning, saving, death, burning, redemption, belief in God, and others. Holy water is not for everyone. Please contact your local deity for more information.
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Dear LaughingBoy,
.
Your words seem to imply that we want you gone. Without people comming to our communitiy and telling us what we’re supposed to do and believe, how are we supposed to have any fun? Please don’t leave! We promise to continue scorning your every word if you promise not to leave.
.
May you be touched by His Noodily Appendage.
RAmen.
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I think what’s interesting here is the irony that LaughingMan’s been (unconsciously?) perpetuating…the fact that he’s denouncing cults, while at the same time taking his name from a cult figure in a Japanese anime TV series. In “Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex”, the laughing man is a cyberspace cult figure which people talk about incessantly in chat rooms, just like this one. Fictional self-loathing on LaughingMan’s part? Or perhaps the irony went shooting over his head instead?
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@TLM,
.
Just as soon as you say “God is a farce.”
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Beer and strippers? I’m in.
Popoff – I’ll take two.
Give us an “R”, (you shout R), gives us an “A”, (you shout A) gives us an “M”, (you getting it?) M gives us an “E” (the letter, please) give us an “N” whatta you got? RAMen!
C’mon all of you, give us an “A”,…
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@ laughing man
Is the Church of the FSM the only religion you consider a farce? What about the LDS church and that crazy Joe Smith – kinda farcical. What about the Wicca?
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@TheLaughingMan
“then I’ll leave. No questions asked.”
.
I, for one don’t want this boy to leave! If I don’t feel like playing with him, then I’ll just ignore him.
He really sounds like a fundie who is trying to make a mountain out of FSM.
RAmen
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LMAO…I was raised LDS.
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@ laughing man
…and the Jews – I mean – no spare ribs – dude that would be a cruel farce if God made pigs and we could not eat them.
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…no bacon butties, are you MAD???
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@ Wench Nikkiee,
Hi I think you should try some of my water… I do!
For it is miracle water… it is!
Jesus water… get your water here… Makes things taste better…
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Jimmy Jones says: When your troops come home from a hard day in the jungle, give them the fruit flavored drink they’ll really love…Cyan-aid, it’ll quence their thirst forever!
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@feste
.
Holy crap, I almost forgot about bacon!
.
Ok, I really look forward to the Stripper Factory and the Beer Volcano, but damn I hope there is bacon too. May His Noodily Goodness be gracious enough to grant us bacon as well. RAmen.
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@One Eyed Jack Dec 7th, 2006 at 2:16 pm
“Now go away. Bobby asked me to go shopping for Kool-Aid for 100,000 and I can’t find my Sam’s Club card.”
.
I don’t want to come across as fussy OEJ, but will we have a variety of flavours to choose from? (I just don’t like the red stuff!)
/
@Peter Popoff
I’ll get back to you after I find out what flavour Kool-Aid we are getting. I don’t suppose you have any FSM water?
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Get your grape flavored Jesus water here… Goes great with pasta…
Works with any dietity… Buy one get nine free… promise of heaven…
Walk with me… get your water here…
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You read my mind Peter Popoff. I was going to ask you about grape flavoured water, I was.
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What about those guys who killed themselves to get to the mothership. With that weird eyed leader? Farce?
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@Peter Popoff
I’ll take two glasses!
Vote Pixel Pete for President, send me your ballots at dr.mcqueer@gmail.com, I’ll be waiting to see how many of you really support the cause, that’s right, if I’m elected President, I promise to fight the evil flame people at every turn!!!
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@Peter Popoff
SATAN BE GONE, HALLELUJAH! Praise be ta Jesus, Amen I say Amen * cheesy 50s gospel *.
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“Dr. McQueer.” Hahahahaha! I’ll be votin’ fer ye, matie.
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The pirate barchart is funny. The rest is a bit poo
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@ poster-
Get this through your head, dumb-ass: Pastafarianism IS NOT A CULT. It is a positive, uplifting, soul-saving faith. Dumb-ass.
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One Oared Marc Dec 7th, 2006 at 3:59 pm
“Dr. McQueer.†Hahahahaha! I’ll be votin’ fer ye, matie.
.
.
I was going to type that same thing! Almost word for word!
Haha Too funny!
Ramen
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My votes in.
Now… who wants some fresh miracle water…
Get your water here…
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Break out the Kool-Aid & Cyanide!!!! Mmmm delicious!
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I, for one, am very appreciative TLM pulled up his sockets, and came to save us from a death worse than faith.
.
I fear though for thee, Wench Nikkiee. “Like playing with a 17 year old”.
.
A pirate may have a loose conscience, but ya gotta have standards.
.
Tsk, tsk (waggling a noodly finger).
.
Say nay more.
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@Billowed Sail
hahahahaha…….um yeah…ok
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Mmmm cyanide flavour Kool-Aid.
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“Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.†Look, I know that it’s a satire, you guys know that it’s a satire… so why don’t you change this line? That’s all I’m asking for. As soon as the line reads “FSM is a farce†then I’ll leave. No questions asked.
By changing that line, the message changes: by labelling the FSM as ‘farce’, by analogy we label all religion farce. Whilst that point of view may be shared by many members of the movement, it is NOT the point of the movement. The issue at hand is not religion itself, but presenting (teaching) religion as science.
Besides which, FSM is NOT a ‘farce’; ‘Lampoon’ , ‘parody’ or ‘pastiche’ would be far closer to the mark.
I’ll agree on one point (sorry to be a killjoy guys) – the role-play can dance the line of apparent delusion. But then, those that can’t tell that it’s satire would not likely understand the point of it anyway.
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I’m getting pretty bloody thirsty here, might have to take some of that grape flavoured holy water of your hands Peter…. just to tide me over til OEJ gets back, you understand.
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There a lot more dangerous things, for the gullible to believe in, than the Pastafarian religion. Not just danerous for the adherents either, but also for the non-adherents of the belief.
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I don’t know, good Wench Nikkiee, purple is not my favorite color. I am parched, too. Just a drop of something. A nugget of something. Anything. Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink!
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Would that be with the Polonium or without?
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No problem nikkiee
Heck, I’ll GIVE you some free!
Don’t hold your breath waiting for the kool AIDS either. If OEJ tried some, he won’t be back, ever! That’s what sucks about that stuff! My miracle water is life everlasting.
Get your everlasting life water here…
Ramen
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One Oared Marc Dec 7th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
I don’t know, good Wench Nikkiee, purple is not my favorite color. I am parched, too. Just a drop of something. A nugget of something. Anything. Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink!
.
I also have plain unflavored, salt free water. Perhaps you would want some of that?
Get your water here… Buy one get twenty five free…
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I would buy some water from you, Peter, but the name “Peter Popoff” is probably what our 17 year old Laughing Boy is doing to himself under the covers as we speak. Is your water translucent white?
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I truly believe we should all be grateful to Laugh.He has shown us that our satire-based religion is an evil abomination.Of course no one has ever died because of it as far as I know,nor do I see anyone likely to die because of it in the near future.And sure the people here who talk about the religion are all well-meaning people looking for a few laughs.But surely anyone can see the evil involved in a group of rational (mostly) human beings sitting around and having fun talking about absurdities.We are all on a one-way rail to hell,I tell you.Thank you Laugh for showing us our ignorance…or your ignorance.It’s one of the two.
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Nikkiee? I don’t understand? Why aren’t you rubbing the second test down my throat?
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What evil are you planning?
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@ One Oared Marc,
Hahahaha
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@Alchemist Dec 7th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Nikkiee? I don’t understand? Why aren’t you rubbing the second test down my throat?
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What evil are you planning?
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I’m saving up! …….besides the fact I had no idea what has been happening there. BUT now that you brought it up….would you like some salt with that? ;)
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@Cell
“Of course no one has ever died because of it as far as I know,nor do I see anyone likely to die because of it in the near future….”
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I am not certain we can know that for sure. On more than one occasion I have laughed so hard that I feared more than a need for fresh underwear. In all truth, I thought one past day, that I was going to choke on my coffee due to laughing before I swallowed a sip of it. Still cleaning some off the keyboard. But, since then, I have learned to be more careful about what I read while I’m drinking coffee.
RAmen
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Aargh – sod you spawn of a (what do you fancy, kangaroo – going wth the Oz thing; trap door spider ( I like that one for you, as you spring out and des..)
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Erm .. I’m going to shut up now
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hahahahaha
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@DutchPastaGirl
“People doing horrible stuff convinced it’s for the good of the souls of their victims. He also has a few choice things to say about missionarys in Eric.”
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What are the missionaries doing in Eric?
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La la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….. (ears covered). Mebbe I don’t want to know…
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Still no sign of Kool-Aid. They must be still figuring out how to dispense it to us all over
the vast distances that seperate us, as well as how to make it come out of the computer screen.
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Well, if I gotta go, I’d rather die laughing than drinking the Kool-Aid, anyday. But thta’s just me, the smug assclowm evilutionist from hell.
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Oh wait, ever better. Today I was called a “Jap-lovin’ ignoramous”! One thing about living “in the city” is that I can walk to most of the historical records buildings from my flat. Plus there are plenty of restaurants and shops long the way. Here in the states it was Pearl Habor Day and silly me, I went in for some sushi. A Japanese dish on PHD, what was I thinking! Oh well, live and learn.
RAmen
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@Mad John Kidd
“Jap-lovin’ ignoramousâ€!………..A Japanese dish on PHD, what was I thinking!
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Let’s see now. By that way of thinking, I guess that everyone who eats pasta suports that the Flying Spaghetti Monster IS God.
Wow!!! cool!
RAmen
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@noodle noggin
He explains a few thnings about religion in Discworld and then says that people only go to hell if they believe that that is what they deserve. And then he goes on to say that that is the best reason why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight. Well this is the short version anyway and I cant write anywhere near as funny as Terry, but I really had to laugh when I was reading that.
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@ Peter Pan & Wendy
Pasta comes in all forms and served with the Sauce of a Thousand Flavours.
May the Sauce be with you and yours
RAmen
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Nikkiee!
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Sorry! There was a huge line at Sam’s Club. I had to wait behind a group of Krishnas, three surving Branch Davidians, and Ken Mehlman, chairman of the Republican National Committee.
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Not to worry. I got a variety of flavors: tropical punch, grape, cherry, lemon-lime, orange, and pink lemonade. Personally, I plan to mix mine together to make a proper “suicide” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soft_drink#Mixed_soft_drinks
.
OEJ
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well what flavor punch do we get?? i don’t like cherry so can we plz stay away from that…almost anything else is fine by me
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I’m diabetic. Can I get mine without sugar?
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hmmm…….’spiders’……yum .
Make mine the tropical punch…… I’ll await further instructions.
RAmen
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Whilst i do in fact taste nice, not sure i want a wench munching on me….
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actually….
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Should I wear something special?
Silly me, no doubt pirate clothing should be worn whilst sitting in front of the computer when the time comes. Which part of the system will the Kool Aid come out from?
ok ok I’ll just be patient!
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@Spider
Ice cream soda spider….Spider.
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“I’m diabetic. Can I get mine without sugar?”
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I’m not going back to Sam’s Club. You’ll likely be dead before you can go into sugar shock, so no worries.
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Seriously, work with me people. Coordinating a mass suicide is hard work! And before any of you assclowns get any ideas, no sneaking viagra into the Kool-aid!
.
OEJ
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The FSM has already seen fit to dispense Koolaid from your computer, all you need is the appropriate peripheral (or appendage as they shall be known)
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http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=1464
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Ice cream soda spider?
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ok, i’m now covered in soda and ice cream. not sure it goes with pasta but a pirate should be open to new ideas….
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Amazing…..I guess we are all set then.
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hahaha
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I hereby claim my place as a true pirate, grog swilling, ocean sailing and easily lead by wenches…
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ahaaarrrggghhh
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Fairly good article:
http://www.prospect.org/web/page.ww?section=root&name=ViewWeb&articleId=12282
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well written article, thanks for the heads up. it should serve as a warning to all.
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it always seems to boil down to a simple problem, there’s many faces of it but they always come to the same argument. We can’t say for sure how something happened (birth of universe, evolution, the eye, why there’s always a piece of stilton in my fridge that i never remember buying) so it must be god. they go looking for gaps in knowledge or areas where its still developing and then shout “Aha! you don’t know do you? it must be god…”.
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There’s only one decent response to this. STFU. if it was left to them we’d stop investigating everything, why bother with new antibiotics if there’s no evolution? the viruses won’t mutate and adapt will they? I have no real idea how my laptop works at the microchip level, but i don’t attribute it to unseen deity/ies..
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i like this.
“It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
-Robert A. Heinlein”
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A favourite quote of mine and one I have used to answer creationists is:
‘Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge; it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.’ CHARLES DARWIN
I’m also fond of:
‘Science has proof without certainty, creationists – certainty without proof.’ PROF STEVE JONES
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hehe. you starte e on something here. hunt the quote. i challenge all the believers to come up with some decent quotes in support of belief, i’ll get the ball rolling.
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“In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson”
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Ambrose Bierce
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“We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.”
Gene Roddenberry
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Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst. –C.S. Lewis
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The Institutional Church (ecclesia) has killed only two kinds of people: Those who do not believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ, and those who do. — Will Durant
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Actually having thought about the baove quote and just read Dawkings new book, you can’t have an omnipotent and omniscient being. it has to be one or the other, otherwise he already knows what he/she/it is going to do and therefore has no choice, you can have one or the other not both!
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I laughed out load upon finding this one.
“”My spell-checker lacks the word ‘creationism’ in its dictionary, so each time that word is encountered, an alternative pops up at the bottom of my screen, ‘cretinism’”
E.T. Babinski”
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“An awkward, unscientific lie is as ineffective as the truth.”—Mark Twain
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“God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the hapless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters.”—H.L. Mencken
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Well heres an example of cretinism for you:
http://www.realtruth.org/articles/261-wdye.html
And some people can’t understand why we are so fast to shoot down the fanatics on this site.
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A few passages from Mark Twain seemed appropriate:
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“Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.”
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“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
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If Christ were here and now there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.”
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“Most people are bothered by those passages of scripture they don’t understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.”
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Ambrose Bierce also discribed Religion as “A goodly tree in which all the foulest birds of the air do nest.”
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“(Religion) With it or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”—Steven Weinberg
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“Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?” – Douglas Adams
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“Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.” – George Carlin
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True religion is real living; living with all one’s soul, with all one’s goodness and righteousness.
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- Albert Einstein
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two for the price of one…
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So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
-Bertrand Russell
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion—several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight.
-Mark Twain
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found a worrying one…
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George H.W. Bush, (R) as Presidential Nominee for the Republican party; 1987-AUG-27:
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“No, I don’t know that Atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.”.
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(shudder)
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“Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. ”
-Thomas Jefferson
“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.
-Henny Youngman
“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? ”
-Woody Allen
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I used to be an athiest until I realised I was god
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Purple, were we in adjacent beds?
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@Spider
man, that is freaky.
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“If people were a little more ignorant, astrology would flourish—if a little more enlightened, religion would perish.”—Robert Green Ingersoll
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“A man has to be in his own heaven to be happy.”—Mark TWain
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Ah, religion, the mental cosh, an invisible policeman that reads your mind, searching for evil thoughts of rebellion against your blessed rulers.
The modern Christian Church, an invention of that murdering Roman b*stard Constantine.
Jesus didn’t preach “just wars”, He was a good bloke who thought everyone should just get along.
The ruling classes wouldn’t stand for that!
Where would they get their cannon fodder to steal more gold if every one just got along?
“No! sorry Jesus, we can’t have that! nail him to a tree as an example as what happens to Peaceniks”
Popes in palaces………………bullsh*t!
Give me a Flying Spaghetti Monster anyday, yarrr.
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To add to the quotefest:
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”– Oscar Wilde (Since all those fundies are so big on Absolute Truth)
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“Sefishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”–Oscar Wilde
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“I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.”–Susan B. Anthony
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“To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses
to receive our information with. With our own eyes we see, and with our own skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself.”–Sophy Burnham
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“We have just enough religion to make us hate one another, but not enough to make us love one another.”–Jonathan Swift
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And finally, my favorite of the bunch: “Heaven for climate. Hell for company. “–Mark Twain
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Yeah, you gotta love the company in hell. All the fun people go there^_^
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“Life is short, wear a helmet and hang on…” – Me just now
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gill. My personal favorite. “Mad, bad and dangerous to know”
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I’d just like to ask TLM if he believes that people who admire Voltaire are cult members. Voltaire was a noted satirist, as is Bobby (too much credit?); Voltaire used satire against monarchs (at least so I’m told), Bobby uses it against ID. If you honestly believe that Volrairists are cult members, then go ahead, insult the FSM all you want; but insulting another satirist just because he uses satire for a different purpose is pure lunacy.
njoi
tha beast from tha east
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Ooo a quote-fest! Here are some new favourites of mine, taken from the excellent link provided by Jon E a few posts earlier:
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On astronomy:
“Today, the scarred and beaten moons and planets, orbiting in decay within our solar system and throughout the universe, are remnants of that great angelic rebellion.”[the god/satan punch-up]
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Why there are lots of hurricanes:
“These signs show that Christ will return soon and establish His Government on this earth. Only then will this world be healed. People will learn how to live in peace, harmony and prosperity-with perfect weather.” [yup, it's official .. meteorology is a dead-end profession]
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Why you should wrap your head in silver foil:
“Though you cannot see it anymore than you can see radio waves or television signals, the air around you is literally charged and “crackles†with the power and energy of Satan’s broadcast … It is the single most important key to understanding exactly how Satan can deceive and manipulate over six billion people.” [the horned one is more media-savvy than the bearded one]
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Everyone here should listen to this, as it deals with education in America!
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http://inc-omplete.org/digg/verizon.mp3
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Download the file and listen (mozilla didn’t work for me?), its the funniest thing I have heard in quite a while!
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Verizon operators and management don’t understand the difference between .002 cents and .002 dollars. Its almost painful to listen to but absolutely hilarious!
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“I feel sorry for those who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning that is the best they will feel all day” – Frank Sinatra
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“I am a connoisseur of hangovers… Done properly a hangover can get you through the day… Wine is the worst, the sediment clogs the brain like cogs. Sweet liquors give you a sticky feeling that make you not want to move. Brandy is like smashing a bell with a hammer, clear distinctive ringing. The best is the right combination of whiskey and beer. The beer to give your stomach something to chew on while the whiskey leaves you in a euphoric haze of useless optimism” – Kevin Baker
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Thanks for the random quotes guys—fine though they are—but the original intent was to be of a religious nature. I especially liked the Kevin Baker quote, BC, nothing like the voice of experience.
RAmen
MJK
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“We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does our shore of ignorance.” – John Wheeler.
As far as you guys go, your islands went the way of Atlantis.
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“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
No wonder you guys think you’re doing such a great job making fun of ID.
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“Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.” – Sir James Dewar
You guys are going to get one hell of a wake-up call when you hit the ground. We’ll just call it a “sky-diving accident”.
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“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.” – Mark Twain
No wonder you guys hate me so much
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“Scientific progress does not consist in replacing a wrong theory with a correct one, but with replacing it with one that is more subtly wrong.”
–Hawking’s Law
from “Murphy’s Law”
the fsm’s people are quite new and therefore worship a theory much more subtly wrong than science, christianity, judaism, and mormonism (gasp).
btw TLM plz respond 2 my Voltaire metaphor
njoi
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“It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.” – Voltaire. Boy, was he right… het got exiled. Influential or not, maybe we should treat Bobby like Voltaire. I say we boot his ass to Mexico. Thanks for the idea Beast from tha east. Muerte de la Spaghetti Monster (excuse my Spanish if it’s not correct).
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*he. My bad. God forbid you nerds start trying to take me down through typos like pansies with their panties in a twist.
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@TheLaughingMan Dec 8th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.†– Mark Twain No wonder you guys hate me so much
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You give yourself too much credit TLM.
What makes you think anyone hates you laughing boy?
I for one think you are a great laugh and enjoy your posts immensely. I know from the previous posts of other pastafarians, that many others feel the same way.
RAmen
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“I hope you get hit by a bus”. I said it for that kid.
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TLB
“like pansies with their panties in a twist.”
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Not very original huh?
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Neither is Ramen or Pastafarianism… but I’ve already stated this before.
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Derr….they are not meant to be…….derr
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derr is right if you guys weren’t even trying to be clever
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TLM, now you’ve gone and interrupted my highly contemplative and spiritually uplifting mood. I just got done describing what I believe (on another thread), and was feeling quite content. I can imagine that you might think that it’s good if I’ve been disturbed, that you’ve hit a nerve or wedged a chisel into my protective psychic armor. Well, ok, you win. You’re right, I’m wrong and I admit it. Do those words make you feel better? They shouldn’t because they’re meaningless. I can say it, but I am incapable of believing anything other than what I already believe. I hope your faith is that strong, because your God apparently demands it. Mine doesn’t. All I have to do is breathe in and out. You have brought me closer to this moment, the only thing that matters, and for that I thank you.
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I find your choice of quotes funny and ironic, as they apply to yourself perfectly!
Thanks for that.
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I’m guessing your good mood was caused by one large joint… I can tell by what you typed.
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TLM – Nope. I haven’t done that for longer than you’ve been alive.
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@TheLaughingMan Dec 8th, 2006 at 10:39 pm
“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.†– Winston Churchill
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No wonder laughing boy (who clearly suffers from HDD), thinks he is doing such a great job of posting meaningful comments, making fun of pastafarianism, on the CoFSM website.
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“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.”—Mark Twain
“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”—Mark Twain
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@TheLaughingMan Dec 8th, 2006 at 11:12 pm
“I’m guessing your good mood was caused by one large joint… I can tell by what you typed.”
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Nope wrong again, I don’t do drugs! You can’t tell alot can you? Then again I suppose since you don’t know what humour is, it is not surprising that you assume anyone who laughs must be on drugs. Very sad indeed!
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I’m not assuming everyone that laughs is on drugs. I’m just assuming that both of you apparently middle aged “wench”s who seem to be on here at all hours of the day seem to be a little bit more daft than the rest of the people on here. There has to be some reason for it. If it’s not because of drugs, then why are you tarts so… off?
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I’m going to go to sleep and dream of quasars and duck-billed platypusses (?) platypi (?) with Johnny Depp in the Galapagos. Peace.
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I couldn’t have asked for a better example if I tried
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laughing boy
“If it’s not because of drugs, then why are you tarts so… off?”
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Guess you just bring out the best in us hey :)
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Don’t feel special, I do it for all women.
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hahahaha……I just love the way, that when someone tries to redicule and it blows up in their face, they get themselves in knots and start with the names. By the way being called a tart means nothing to me.
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@ TLM, but I’m silling to bet that what I said has been understood by everyone else, not as an example of evidence of daftness, but as something else indeed. But you wouldn’t understand that, would you?
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Better watch out UnLaughingBoy, she’s got an oar with your name on it.
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So you admit to being a tart?
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TLM
One good turn deserves another though, so here’s one for you “you are such a wank”
really! A seventeen year old over inflated ego.
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Actually, I’m willing to bet, I meant to say of course. Oh-oh! That must have been due to being daft! That’s Mrs. Daft to you.
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So I guess you’ve got nothing new to say again. You are getting a bit boring.
A tart? no I’m not made of pastry!
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Not my fault if I’m the “Mum’s Pajamas” (I’m not British so forgive me if this came out wrong. Us Americans are apparently supposed to be ignorant of the ways of the common Brit/chav/pleb like Wench here)
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TLM, Jesus is watching you, and I imagine he is not pleased, from what I’ve heard about what he expects from his followers.
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I could do the name calling so much better than you if I so wished, but personally I find it all a bit childish. Although name calling seems to suit the rest of your high self opinion perfectly.
RAmen RAmen RAmen Pastafarians Rock :) :)
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What a cop out… I thought you were going to be a challange.
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TLM
Well I see that’s all you’ve got so I’m off to do something a little more challenging.
Once again it’s been fun. You always put a smile on my face…. who needs drugs.
Please call again won’t you.
RAmen
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And ah… Saucy. When it comes to Jesus, he’s supposed to be my right hand aswell according to the Christians. In that case he molests me. Anybody that molests 17 year olds is no Savior of mine.
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@TheLaughingMan Dec 8th, 2006 at 11:41 pm
“What a cop out… I thought you were going to be a challange.”
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Challenge for you maybe….no challenge for me though. I’ve got better things to do.
see ya
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You’ve already stated this… thanks for having enough ADHD as to repeat it.
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@ Wench Nikkee
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Where the hell have you been all day? The FSM money stamp thread got blown up by creationist 12 year old over the course of like 250 posts, people making Aussie chick inuendos and such, and you were no where to be found!
.
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P.S. You must listen to this:
http://inc-omplete.org/digg/verizon.mp3
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Here’s a possible explanation why some people are unable to see their own contradictions. May take several attempts to open, but it’s worth it. Sorry UnLaughingBoy, it may be way over your head.
http://members.aol.com/intwg/antiprocess.htm
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Wow… Nick… way to go buddy. Seems like somebody has a little crush on Wench Nikkiee. Way to go dude, Internet dating. Real manly. You nerds are all alike.
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@Nick the Infidel
Hi Nick…yeah I just read most of the money stamp thread today. What a thread blow out! I’ll get to replying at some stage. Laughing boy here is always a bit of fun, so I’d thought I drop in here first. I’ve downloaded your link, just haven’t listened to it yet. I’m sure it’s great since you referenced it.
RAmen
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@TheLaughingMan Dec 8th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
‘Wow… Nick… way to go buddy. Seems like somebody has a little crush on Wench Nikkiee. Way to go dude, Internet dating. Real manly. You nerds are all alike.’
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Now why doesn’t it surprise me that that comment was made by a seventeen year old?
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TLM,
.
You said:
“Dec 8th, 2006 at 10:36 pm
“We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does our shore of ignorance.†– John Wheeler.
As far as you guys go, your islands went the way of Atlantis.”
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So if our shoreline defines our ignorance, and the length of the shoreline of Atlantis is nonexistent (being that it theoretically sunk and all), are you saying that we possess not one inch (or centemeter) of ignorance? Thank you for the compliment. May his Noodly Appendage assist you in granting us more.
RAmen.
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“Wow… Nick… way to go buddy. Seems like somebody has a little crush on Wench Nikkiee. Way to go dude, Internet dating. Real manly. You nerds are all alike.”
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I admittedly do have a crush on Nikkee, but have never admitted it before well just now. I was reffering to others who have crushes on Nikkee, who earlier made Aussie chick inuendos. But thanx for breaking the ice.
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Dude you spend you’re days trying to defeat a satirical god with your logic. Don’t talk to me about nerds!
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“People can very cleverly defend their beliefs without having to fully understand the arguments against them.” No wonder you guys are so dumb. Thanks for explaining it to me Mad Kid. The way I see it… nobody here can really give me a clear depiction of FSM and what he stands for. You guys all say different things at different times, and you all throw out different points. I however only have one point. Change the damn line that states “if it appears to be satire than you are mistaken” to “FSM is a farce”. Way to be so “pig-headed” against my ideas without fully being able to back your own. Antiprocess is right… for you though it’s more like antieverythingthatseemstobecorrect.
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On second thought most of the seventeen year olds I know have grown out of that. More like something a fourteen year old would say.
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Thanks Nick, I take that as a big compliment :)
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And as for Farseer… way to screw that quote up. You’re correct in thinking you don’t have a shore of ignorance… but that’s only because you’ve drowned in the sea of it.
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Damn you all, I have providid a link to far more breathtaking stupididty than what the UnLaughingMan has had to offer you all (for the last 3 days).
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Stop arguing with him for 10 minutes and listen to this phone recording, it is sweeping the internets as we speak! I promise you will not be let down!
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http://inc-omplete.org/digg/verizon.mp3
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I’ve downloaded it earlier and will listen now.
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TheLaughingMan just made my day!
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Finally someone who is taking us Pastafarians seriously. I love it!
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His Noodly Greatness has blessed us with our very first rabid antipastafarian! I think this officially makes us a “major religion”.
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Glory be the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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Brother Boyardee
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So TLM, you’re assuming that anything under the water has drowned? How small is your worldview?
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Kind of hard to miss it, Nick, since you’ve posted it on several threads. Having said that, it is quite hilarious. I recommend it to everyone.
RAmen
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@Brother Boyardee Dec 9th, 2006 at 12:06 am
“His Noodly Greatness has blessed us with our very first rabid antipastafarian! I think this officially makes us a “major religionâ€. ”
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The anti-pasta….yay…..who said we are not a real religion?
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Ahhh, laughing man… you have irritated two of our wenches. That can only lead to pain.
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You call us nerds. Are you trying to imply we are socially inept? You are the person here using terms like nerd and dude, which fell out favour while many of the posters here were older than you are now.
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Surely, you should know that using old slang terms is, like, so uncool man. Like, everyone knows, only a complete square would use that, like omg.
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So grow up and learn some decent insults.
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How patient is that customer? Oh that company rep hurts my head. I’m still listening.
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“Kind of hard to miss it, Nick, since you’ve posted it on several threads. Having said that, it is quite hilarious. I recommend it to everyone.”
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Sorry man, its late and I have no one to talk about it with! When I hear something that incredible that makes my brain rumble so, I need some confimation from some outside source to make sure that I’m not losing my shit!
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Ok, upon reading my last two posts, I realize that I am unable to make sense. I am done until I sober up a bit. The pre-afterlife beer volcano has been especially good to me tonight – thanks be to His Noodly Grace. Aarrr.
RAmen.
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“How patient is that customer? Oh that company rep hurts my head. I’m still listening.”
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He has been responding to comments on another forum all day. As a former teacher, I have to say that he is my new hero! I have never encountered a situation where I would need to teach 4th grade math to 5 different customer service representatives, but if I did, I could only pray that I would hold up like that guy! Truly a hero!
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@tlm
you must be joking, right?
read the open letter, or even wikipedia’s definition.
to keep up with your b.s.
you’re either joking, or to afraid to challenge some of the other BULLSHIT, that’s being pushed upon the masses.
show me something where you challenge; christians,muslims, jews, or anyone else that believes in a “supreme deity”.
what do YOU
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Nick I’m still listening to that download……..I am losing so many brain cells per second here.
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My bad
it should read
what do you believe in?
sorry
too much rum, and beer :)
Ramen
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@Laugh
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You say “nobody here can really give me a clear depiction of FSM and what he stands for. You guys all say different things at different times.”
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That can said about all the religions of the world, Christianity, Islam, Judaism. The Creator, although he can communicate in any way he chooses, has chosen to communicate awkwardly through prophets and ancient scrolls written in languages no one uses any more. The result being that no two people of any particular faith, Christian, Islam, Pastafarian or Jew can agree perfectly on what He wants. So the question is why does pastafarianism get under your skin so much, but you coddle all the false religions like Christianity, Islam and Judaism? (Presumably, you haven’t asked the Pope or Pat Robertson to renounce their faith as a joke)
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I’ve said it before but I don’t think you are really an atheist. Doesn’t an atheist view all religions as being on equal footing? Why is it that you label Pastafarianism as particularly harmful but not Christianity, Islam and Judaism? I suspect you might be a closet theist, in particular a closet Christian, in which case you got it only half right (that there is a god) and I would urge you to open your heart to His Noodly Greatness and let Him in.
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Brother Boyardee
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“Nick I’m still listening to that download……..I am losing so many brain cells per second here.”
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Yeah, its really funny, but nerve wracking at the same time. The dudes responses crack me up, but at the same time you really have to feel for the guy, he’s trying to cross the red sea of mathmatical ignorance. Keep in mind that he went through 3 customer service reps before the recording starts!
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That sound clip is painful… really, it is just painful.
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Especially when you think of all the people that would pay their bill, without checking the math.
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@Nick the Infidel
“I have never encountered a situation where I would need to teach 4th grade math to 5 different customer service representatives”
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I’m starting to have patience problems with responding to some of the YECs and IDiots on this forum. I expect them to arm themselves with the basics at least, before they come spouting against evolution and science Now I know, that due to what they have been taught, that it’s too big an ask. I really get bored with the thought of even trying (trying…because I can see they have their hands over their eyes when they read the posts) to explain anything to them.
They come in arguing about the theory of evolution, when they’re not even familiar with evoluionary concepts or premises. Do you think we could convince this, ever so patient customer, to become a pastafarian?
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It just keeps gooooooooooiiiiiinngg
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“That sound clip is painful… really, it is just painful.
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Especially when you think of all the people that would pay their bill, without checking the math.”
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No, the bill is right. It most likely says $0.002 / KB, which is 2 thousandths of a dollar. The problem is that the phone reps likely quote it on the phone as “point zero zero cents”, because people assume that when dealing with money that anything right of the decimal point is referred to as cents, which is not really correct!
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@ Nikkiee
Have you had a chance to check out the link on antiprocessing that I posted on Dec 8th, 2006 at 11:49 pm? I goes a long way to explaining this phenomenon.
RAmen
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what happened to the man we laugh at?
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“I’m starting to have patience problems with responding to some of the YECs and IDiots on this forum. I expect them to arm themselves with the basics at least, before they come spouting against evolution and science”
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Exactly! I felt like this guys experience mirrored exactly what we come accross every day! Math is unquestionable. There are exact truths and untruths. But he still had to fight his way to the upper eshilons of a company to dispute this. Imagine what a battle we face when we consider that evolution is not even as straight forward as math!
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@ nick
sorry man
I tried to listen
but
it’s painful
it’s like when i go to Mc donald’s,BK,Del taco,whatever take your pick, and my bill is 7.25. I give them a $10 bill and 25 cents, expecting a 3 dollars in change, and they’re dumfounded.
I drive alot and have encountered this phenomenon, quite frequently.
ease up on the poor bastards.
maybe they’re talking in gas terms, since prices are always 2.59 (/10ths)?????????
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No easing up here! But I have always wondered if I was getting screwed out of that last 1/10th of a cent at the pump!
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What the hell. Whenever I am on another thread, it says Parmesan has a post on this thread, immediately after Nikkie’s on the Kansas School Board responses.
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Yet whenever I come to this thread, Nikkie’s is the most up to date. Bloody computers.
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There we go. Posting solves all problems.
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@Mad John Kidd
I had a quick look and copied and pasted it into a word document. I’m gettin there. Had to put my brain into reverse again for leucine (even though I said I wasn’t going to respond to her…I’m assuming leucine is a female name….but I wouln’t know) just one last time. I think I’ll leave her to play with someone else now. Then Laughingboy appears and I find him amusing!
Also some capoed crusader wants a piece of me on the stamp thread. FSM is getting so big! I’m getting there.
I think I’ll go to the local and get a little something to slow things down a bit. I’m meant to be on holidays. Fat chance! I feel, I just can’t let any of these non-believers get away with anything.
Back in half an hour. Joys of living in the bush!
RAmen
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Jingles, I’m equally confused about the postings. Now I know why – the Laughing Man told me and Nikkiee that we’re daft. To our credit, we resisted proving that we are not loopy by spouting off how smart we are.
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@ Wench Nikkiee
Whats the time there? I have frequently wondered such things, as FSM has brought such an international following, and I am an insomniac, so I frequently find myself posting at the same time as folks from the other side of the globe.
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I guess Bobby has the forum set to mountain or pacific time(still doesn’t seem right though) because my posts are always listed as about 2 hours behind (I’m eastern time zone)?
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Since everyone is so frustrated, how about something in a lighter vein. :)
“All we wanna do is eat your brains…”
Has everyone seen this yet? Bloody brilliant!
http://scienceblogs.com/mixingmemory/2006/12/re_your_brains.php
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Sorry, ahead. By 1 hour and 25 minutes. That makes absolutely no sense! What the bloody hell schedule are we on around here anyway?
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I am posting this at 3:17 am.
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i think we’re on different time zones.
This timeline may be based on “mountain central”?
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@ nick
yeah that sounds about right.
at I’m @ 12:24 am
what’s your 20?
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My 20 is NC in the Eastern Time Zone.
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Where should we 25 at?
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Still makes no sense, you must be mountain because you’re 1:25 behind (If FSM is central), but time zones work in straight hour increments right?
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right about here.
In this timetable we are at U.S. mountain central.
Everyone got their bearings?
Set sail ye dogged bastards!!!!
Ramen
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Its within the timeframe that vegas would be on, but still seems to be a 1/2 hour off.
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http://www.worldtimezone.com/
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Nick, I”m ahead by 1:25.
I”m pacific, you’re east, we meet in the middle in “mountain central”.
straight from me, across, to you.
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Laughingman
fundametalists are allways annoying, wether they are christian, muslim, atheist, trekkies, or whatevers. They will never admit there is another way of looking at things or that someone elses ideas just might have value. You are a atheist fundamentalist, a true pastafarian doesn’t like them so please stop preaching.
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I meant earlier, not ahead.
different directions.
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Maybe this is to do with the time dilation effect described in the Gospel? – it is set to FSM’s time and he is currently orbiting a black hole, so it is a bit out of whack, or maybe he just had a little too much from the beer volcano and set the time wrong! It is just one of those unknowable things that we have to have faith about ;)
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Yes, Nick, the clock does seem to be running about twenty minutes fast. Also, Arizona is a state that does not change at Daylight Savings Time. (At least it used to be that way.) So part of the year it is on Mountian Time. The rest of the year it is on Pacific. Eastern Australia is about seventeen hours ahead of us, so it would be aproximately a quarter to 9 pm Saturday by your eastern time. If my maths are correct. I’m sure she could shed more light on that though.
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Agreed, but acording to the map I linked, mountain central should be 2 hours behind me , and 1 hour ahead of you. We have a 1/2 hour discrepency I guess.
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@ Parmensan the Greated
Mountain and Central are two separate time zones. I’m origianlly from UK, so it took me awhile to figure it out as well.
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“Eastern Australia is about seventeen hours ahead of us, so it would be aproximately a quarter to 9 pm Saturday by your eastern time. If my maths are correct. I’m sure she could shed more light on that though.”
.
I hear your evil voodoo math and logic working, but I’ll wait till Nikkee comments before I believe anything about this whole time zone controversy. Kinda like when bart called Australia to verify that the toilets there flowed clockwise (had to go flush my own to remember which way it was here, sad).
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