Dear People who believe in the FSM,
Bobby Henderson is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
*update* TLM’s comment @ 8:15pm:
May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
I just wanted to note that TLM’s suggested book is amazon-ranked at approximately #153,000, whereas The Gospel is currently ranked at #825 (lower is better).
*update* TLM’s comment @ 9:17pm:
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need an FSM to add to the pile.
http://richarddawkins.net/article,398,Gods-Inbox,Time-Magazine
Not sure if this is on here already or not, but it is funny.
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hmmmm, mass interesting article link posting. I approve.
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@Beastly Rich
Please join in and add some more. I’m almost googled out.
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Quite a lot of what I look at has already been mentioned around here, but this guy is a laugh.
http://www.edconrad.com/
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He used to be a regular kook at talk.origins who have written a few articles on him and his “work”
http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/homs/conrad.html
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It’s all NASA’s fault, no realy it is:
:
http://www.fixedearth.com/nasas_agenda.htm
:
You may find yourself needing a drink after you read this one.
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1000th post wins you a heaping bowl ziti, a years supply of grog, and all the wenches you can handle!
Let the games begin!
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“Copernicism”???
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FFSMS! There’s any *doubt* that Copernicus was *right*? You have got to be fucking kidding me?
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@Davey
What did I say about needing a drink after reading it?
:
Anyway I’ve got another one for you. This looks like an expanded version of something I posted on here the other day. I’m sure most of you will really like the final paragraph, it says pretty much everything that needs to be said about the creationist position.
:
:
http://www.wikihow.com/Defend-Creationism-Against-Evolutionism
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@Jon E
OMFSM! There are people who would actually take us back to the middle ages? Copernicus was wrong?!?!? What’s next? Columbus and Magellan were a bunch of no-good liars – if ye sail too far ye’ll fall from the edge of the earth! Ye fools!
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I took a step back to the main page of http://www.fixedearth.com, and you’re right. Though it is just 9:30, I have an overwhelming urge to have a calming drink. I contemplated sending them a message or two, but realized that it is impossible for those with their heads inserted that deeply into their hindquarters to ever see light.
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May His Noodly Grace have mercy on their lost souls. (But keep them away from the beer volcano.)
RAmen.
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@god
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how come its so wrong for humans to have sex yet when you do it is so much better. oh yea, you’re god.
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man, god must not get it that much so he feels he must tell everybody else not to have sex. yet he has sex. any body see the hypocrisy in dad
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a memo from
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if thou is to have thy sex, then thou should use a condom if they don’t want to pass on their lineage. after all, why shalt thou participate in natural selection (aka: reality) if thou is strangely against it.
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@Jon:
Some good posts (UCS for example, Dawkins) but also some crap thrown in (NPI? Please!). You should stick to unbiased sources or at least post source for both sides of an issue. Some of the creationists sites are pretty funny though.
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@Jon:
Great stuff! I can’t find these guys funny though. Stupidity is much less amusing when the stupid are trying to bully you to do their bidding. The sites are really interesting because they show how bizarre religious delusion can be.
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‘REMEMBER: Our country was founded on freedom of religion
and our Constitution is based on the 10 Commandments.’
This must be the funny quote of the day…or the sad one.
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Hey, I know it’s a little late on the “quote fest,” but this one always makes me smile.
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“As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; . . .” Article 12, Treaty of Peace and Friendship between the United States and the Bey and Subjects of Tripoli of Barbary (UNANIMOUSLY approved by the 1797 Congress and signed by President John Adams, Founding Father)
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I seriously love this quote. It is my “ace-in-the-hole” when arguing with the fundies about secular USA v. Christian USA.
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I’ve nothing to add to the quote-fest, but I will say this:
1. It’s my birthday.
2. My birthday card from my wife and son featured a super-cool kick-ass pirate, complete with parrot, wooden leg, hook, eye-patch, the works.
3. We’re having noodles as a birthday treat.
4. Later, my friends will arrive, bearing gifts of beer.
5. There were pirates on the gift-wrap my birthday gifts came in, too.
6. HOW cool and totally DEVOUT is my household?
8. What the fuck happened to 7?
9. I am now going to go and get drunk.
7. Ah, there it is!
10. No, I’m not telling you how old I am. Unless you’re a) female and b) willing to get yerself round here and add a stripper to the party.
11. Er……
12. That’s all.
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Oh and…
13. SIGN THE LETTER 2 TED.
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@Davey
Haha! Have a Grate (as in Grated Cheese) Birthday :D
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FixedEarth? Wow. That re-explains everything! It is truly amazing what highly-emotionally-vested-in-their-religion idiots will fabricate in order to support their centuries old delusions!
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Fucking unbelievable.
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Do these zealots ever ponder the story they belive in? The one about how it all started? You know, with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? So let’s see, they were cast out for having sex. Then once they were cast out they presumably began to procreate. Right? So that means that somewhere along the line incest was involved. I mean how else do you explain all the begatting and such?
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So Cain and Able must have been screwing mom?
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I’m so confused by it all now. Arrrrr….!
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Praise His Noodliness and pass the Sauce and Parmesan!
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(Getting closer to 1,ooo.)
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happy birthday. May the benevolence of FSM cause the rum to flow freely, the beer come in the volumes of a volcano and the hangover be minimal.
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Strippers at your discretion.
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Dammit…. **believe**
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Not **belive**
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Arrrr
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@Skeptick
Yeah I never got how they could believe we were all from just Adam and Eve either. It’d make us all cross bred, but then someone explained that people were made outside of Eden too, Adam and Eve were just the first or somthing like that andthat why “Abel goes into the jungle to find a wife” … I still think it’s retarded… It makes no sense.
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happy birthday, Hacker. may FSM and the light of reason smile upon you.
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Happy Birthday, Davey Jones!
I’ve nothing to add either, ‘cept maybe you can sing us a song?
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Happy birthday Davey Jone’s Hacker. May you have a volcano of beer!
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RAmen
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@Comatose
Isn’t it amazing how the stubborn religionists will pull more absurdities out of their collective asses whenever they’re confronted by logic and the complete lunacy of their claims??
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And these dimwits get to vote. It’s depressing.
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Hey! I just thought of one…
Post 972…
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@Davey Jones’ Hacker
Hi Davey
Many Happy Returns :)
Have a Noodliciously excellent birthday.
RAmen
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Happy birthday, Davey!
….
….
…
Err….that was all. …The next fundie who happens to wander by is gonna get jumped by about a thousand people at once, since we’re all so eager for more hate mail. I almost feel bad for them. (Key word there is ALMOST.)
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Jesus loves me! This I know,
For the Bible tells me so;
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.
Jesus loves me! He who died,
Heaven’s gate to open wide;
He will wash away my sin,
Let His little child come in.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.
Jesus loves me! loves me still,
When I’m very weak and ill;
From His shining throne on high,
Comes to watch me where I lie.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.
Jesus loves me! He will stay,
Close beside me all the way;
He’s prepared a home for me,
And some day His face I’ll see.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.
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Happy B’day, Davey!
May your pleasures be many, may your troubles be few and nothing but happiness set foot through your door.
RAmen
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WooHoo! A fundie (presumably) posted.
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@jesuslovesme
Your fairytale song is wrong. Books (the bible) can’t talk. So it can’t ‘tell’ you anything.
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May you be blessed by His Noodly Goodness
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oops – i meant @jesuslovesyoutoo
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hey, there’s only one jesus in this post, and we all know who that should be.
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lets just hope it’s not another one of my fans trying to save of all from who knows what………having a life maybe?
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Follow me children. I am the light I am the way. I am here. Everyday.
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Nick the Infidel Dec 14th, 2006 at 8:19 am
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“1000th post wins you a heaping bowl ziti, a years supply of grog, and all the wenches
you can handle!”
.
What if a fundie gets the 1000th post?
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His Noodliness works in mysterious ways, my child.
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Post 1000 will get a lifetime supply of ME!
How can I make such an offer you ask? It’s easy when you are ME!
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does anybody know if the jesus love you too!!! is serious or is he just playin around.
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is there an easy way to find out what post number this is?
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What a silly question child!
Of course I am real. Otherwise I wouldn’t be me. Now would I?
Amen
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@ Beastly Rich
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I belive that was post 986
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@ Jesus Loves You Too!!!
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But what if you were someone else would that invalidate your existance?
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A lifetime’s supply of you? Errr…. No thanks. I don’t even want a free sample.
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Post 990 right here! I am fer sure goin’ ta heaven!
Oh yea!
Ramen
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Just been checking out the creationist essays. They’ve now got 17 out of the intended 45
up on the web.
http://www.parentcompany.com/creation_essays/essaytoc.htm
I guess that leaves another 28 chapters of the new creation dribble bibble to go.
I haven’t read through all of them, (did notice the Darwin is responsible for the degeneration of society bits), but the last one:-
(45:’The Scientific Case for Evolution Has Never Been Proved! So Why Do the Public Schools Teach It As If It Were a Fact?’ http://www.parentcompany.com/creation_essays/essay45.htm) that says evolutionary
.
theory states that apes evolve into university professors caught my eye. Apparently the whole human race are university professors???? What the??
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991
its getting close
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of course i’m real silly child
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there’s no way you’re real. i’m the real jesus christ. after all, my daddy brutally murdered me so………….wtf, daddy, why did you kill me
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Closer! Me Me ME ME ME
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Jesus Christ? Now you are fighting with yourself? Jesus Christ! WTF?
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