Dear People who believe in the FSM,
Bobby Henderson is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
*update* TLM’s comment @ 8:15pm:
May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
I just wanted to note that TLM’s suggested book is amazon-ranked at approximately #153,000, whereas The Gospel is currently ranked at #825 (lower is better).
*update* TLM’s comment @ 9:17pm:
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need an FSM to add to the pile.
Sorry I meant just one monkey named Kent Hovind, not Kent Hovinds. Whoops!
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I think some of those monkeys have been emptying their bowels….oh I posting on the Academic endosements 1 thread.
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edit ..’oh I mean posting’
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On second thought, if it were the monkeys, the posts would have been more coherent.
More likely a couple of 12yos who found the keys to their dad’s booze cabinet.
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@Farseer
“Sorry I meant just one monkey named Kent Hovind, not Kent Hovinds. Whoops!”
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Thank FSM man! For a second I was thinking that there might be more than one of him.
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Scary tought.
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@nick the bible thumper
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that’s a funny thought about kent hovind.
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@everybody
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kent hovind has recent been found guilty of tax evasion. it’s not that big of deal though, he never ever was a threat to science
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Kent Hovind blogs from jail. He brags of teaching maths to convicted drug dealers and has five converts under his belt…a captive audience. Ba dum bum
http://www.cseblogs.com/
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Today I read the first 60 pages of the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Aar, aar, aar, a grate book ye land lubbers.
@Nikkiee: i think we’ve got through to TLM and if we just push out another 100 or so posts we can call this thread a day and get on with our lives
PS: I’ve read the first quarter of the gospel now and understand the stale beer and ugly strippers reference.
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@Mad John Kidd
‘Kent Hovind blogs from jail. He brags of teaching maths to convicted drug dealers and has five converts under his belt…a captive audience.’
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gurr…..gurrh…I feel ill….gurp!
Oh dear I wonder if that will come out of the keyboard?
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@jesus christ Dec 13th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
How is yer mum? I haven’t seen her in ages.
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“Kent Hovind blogs from jail. He brags of teaching maths to convicted drug dealers and has five converts under his belt…a captive audience. Ba dum bum
http://www.cseblogs.com/”
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Great Odin’s raven! I thought you were joking! How could this have slipped under my creadar? Absolutely fantastic! A creationist blogs from jail!
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This is totally my new homepage! How long is he in for? Oh I hope its for a while. With most entertainment as good as this, you usually have to pay for it, or at least illegally download it.
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MJK, you have gone above and beyond the call of duty with this one! And its not even christmas yet!
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b
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God Dec 13th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
@jesus christ Dec 13th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
How is yer mum? I haven’t seen her in ages.
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Ahh dude, God just implied he did it with your mom. God sucks! I’m sick of his shit!
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FSM would never sink as low as to hit mere mortals with a “Ya mamma Joke”.
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Arrrr me mateys. Me feels like a ganglon of bilge rocks has been lifted off me chest!
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Wheres me wenches? Have em fetch me some grog. Someone pour me a tall glass of tha Kool-Aid, cuz I got some catching up ta do!
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And just for the record! An FSM “Ya mamma Joke†would in reality blow your frickin mind, as well as impregnate your mother!
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Damn it feels good to be back! The air is so much clearer in here now.
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Welcome back Nick.
Thanks for trying anyway.
RAmen
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Wow.
Anyhoo…wanted to make a suggestion to anyone who bothers to read my post. I received, via email today, one of those petition emails that asks you to sign your name and forward to all you know to do the same. I have signed the one for the ban against drive-through mastectomies and other good causes like that, but this one I will not sign and forward because it is an effort to reinstate prayer in schools. Now, I know this will never happen…at least I hope not or I will have to home-school my kids, but the petition already has 2100 signatures, so my thought is that we, believers of the FSM in all his noodly glory, should begin circulating an email petition of our own. Sorry for the length, but the email reads like this:
>
My rant continues here:
WAIT…didn’t they just contradict themselves? “Our country was founded on freedom of religion…” but they want to shove prayer to God down everyone’s throats, beginning with the children in school who aren’t yet old enough to make that decision?!
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Ha! The email did not even post! Sorry, mateys.
BTW, Jim Jones was Elvis! ;) I am sure Bobby looks NOTHING like Elvis.
I’ll post a condensed version of the petition in a sec.
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Here is the email petition:
We could do better than this one and probably get a ton more signatures, too!
Also, above, I meant to say that Jim Jones was an Elvis impersonator…not Elvis himself. Sorry if I offended any Elvis fans. :)
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I guess I am not allowed to post the petition. Sorry. Basically, it just says that they are asking Bush to reinstate prayer in schools and how wrong it is that you can’t say God on tv but you can say everything else and something about “Touched By An Angel” being canceled.
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Apparently we are to be allowed to watch TV
programs that use every foul word in the English
language, but not the word “God.” It will only
take a minute to read this and see if you think
you should send it out
DR. DOBSON’S PLEA FOR ACTION
CBS discontinued “Touched by an Angel” for using
the word God in every program. Madeline Murray
O’Hare, an atheist, successfully managed to
eliminate the use of Bible reading from public
schools a few years ago.
Now her organization has been granted a federal
hearing on the same subject by the Federa l
Communications Commission (FCC) Washington, DC.
Their petition, Number 2493, would ultimately pave
the way to stop the reading of the gospel, our Lord
and Savior, on the airwaves of America.
They got 287,000 signatures to back their stand!
If this attempt is successful, all Sunday worship
services being broadcast on the radio or by
television will be stopped. This group is also
campaigning to remove all Christmas programs and
Christmas carols from public schools!
You as a Christian can help!
We are praying for at least 1 million signatures. This would
defeat their effort and show that there are many Christians
alive, well and concerned about our country. As Christians
we must unite on this. Please don’t take this lightly.
We ignored this lady once and lost prayer in our
school and in offices across the nation
Please stand up for your religious freedom and let
your voice be heard. T ogether we can make a
difference in our country while creating a way for
the lost to know the Lord.
Please press “forward”, and forward this to
everyone that you think should read this.
Now, please sign your name at the bottom ( you
can only add your name after you have pressed the
“Forward”).
Don’t delete any other names, just go to the next
number and type your name and state. Please defeat this
organization and keep the right of our freedom of religion.
REMEMBER: Our country was founded on freedom of religion
and our Constitution is based on the 10 Commandments.
Agree or Delete: Instructions to sign are at the bottom.
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Ha! I did it, I did it…happy dance.
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@Whatsinaname?
Maybe you could email it to Prophet Bobby. If not, is there a contact facility on the Letter to Ted site?
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J ?
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Davey?
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Any ideas? anyone?
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Good to have you back, Infidel. You’ll have to find another wench to fetch your grog tonight, though. I’ve got lateral epicondylitis from ironing so much and swilling so much beer. A wench’s work is never done!
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Lateral epicondylitis = Wench’s Elbow by the way.
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@ Wench Nikkiee
Thanks for the response and suggestion.
RAmen.
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ooh…yuk!
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‘…..Don’t delete any other names, just go to the next number and type your name and state….’
That’s interesting!
I agree (though it’s not relevent to me, as I’m in OZ) that a counter petition is a great idea.
RAmen
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THis post never made it through — it’s been awaiting moderator approval since 12/11/06. So I thought I’d re-post it minus the links I had in it to the WebMD site!
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Hmmm…
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As far as I have ever been able to figure, man created god(s). Not the other way aroung. (Begging pardon from His Noodliness. Arrr!)
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Thousands of years ago if people heard voices in their heads, some of them apparently could get away with saying it was ‘god’, or an ‘angel’, or whatever, speaking to them. Now when people hear voices in their heads they are either institutionalized or given proper treatment. Auditory hallucinations are now recognized as a mental disorder.
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There is even research being done that seems to help some people who suffer from voices in their heads:
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Auditory hallucinations can be a symptom of schizophrenia:
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Thousands of years ago people may have been able to use their mental disorders for their own purposes. Of course, they didn’t know they had a mental disorder. Neither did anyone else. I bet some of the ‘prophets’ were actually suffering from mental disorders. The Muslims’ Mohammed might be a prime example.
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Of course this is all conjecture on my part, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it somehow turned out that most, if not all, of the beloved so-called ‘prophets’ were actually just suffering from mental illness!
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These guys were nuts. In more ways than one.
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@ God
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freaking hilarious!
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@ skeptick
Great point.
Much misinterpretation has succeeded in building the case for Christianity and its laws, but should this be any surprise to us when the places we get our information from (the media, the public school system) are not reliable sources and much information is withheld? For example, the so-called “new” virus, HPV, that you see all the commercials for now has existed for over 13 years but (unless you-or a loved one-were diagnosed or are a professional in the medical field) this is the first we are hearing about it.
I would also venture a guess that many exorcisms performed by the Catholic church in their heyday were being performed on people not possessed by anything more sinister than the defunct qualities of their own minds.
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Okay, I have submitted my email petition idea to the Letter to Ted people. I am going to look for a way to send it to Prophet Bobby, too. I hope you will all receive it and sign it and send it on.
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@ skeptic
The great Oracle of Delphi in ancient Greece may have been the victim of hallucinations induced by certain noxious gases seeping up through the ground. An actual geological explanation to support your hypothesis.
RAmen
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‘Witches’ of Salem tripping on mouldy rye (rye ergot = LSD). I’ll try and find the research paper written by a microbiologist who investigated this theory in the past twelve months or so. Hopefully it will be out in the public domain by now.
How many hundreds of other equally plausable (non- supernatural) explainations?
RAmen
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yes, I’ve heard that Lycanthropy has been attributed to the ergot as well.
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@ Wench Nikkiee
Thanks for the suggestion, I sent my idea to Prophet Bobby. I guess it’s too late for me because it took me forever to find his address.
G’night, mateys.
RAmen.
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i really hate people who think this a cult…. jesus started a cult and look at how many children got raped because of it
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@Whatsinaname
(and to be noted by all)
The prayer in schools chain letter will never get further than a Fundi’s inbox. There’s no way to feasibly do a petition via email, for a physical signature needs to be present. To provide a little heartwarming evidence, I found this to help us sleep better tonight:
http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/prayerpet.html
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/p/prayerinschool.ht.htm
Viva our constitutional foundation of checks and balances. We don’t want too many crazy people running our government. (Just our school boards – damn I hate being a Kansan sometimes).
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RAmen.
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To all concerned yesterday, reguarding the Australian native mouse.
Name is “Melomys” (as opposed to mamalus or whatever the hell I wrote back there)
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http://lamington.nrsm.uq.edu.au/Documents/Anim/fawn-footed_melomys.htm
RAmen
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Hmm…appears there are ~23 species of Melomys
http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/classification/Melomys.html
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I’m sure the species where I am, has got to be the cutest one (?) though!
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Where have all the fundies gone?
Did the mice eat them all?
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Hi Peter
Bugga I think that last info may be a little off centre as well. Trying to find some definitive info on this little critter and being led astray at every turn so far.
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@Where have all the fundies gone?
I think word may have got around in their circles, that perhaps we are not a bunch of idiots just because we worship His Noodleyness?
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OK There are only 4 species of Melomys, that are native to Australia!
I’ll check out some more info later.
Gotta go Peter, I’ll catch you later.
RAmen & Cheers
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That makes sense, except that I’m an idiot myself.
A retarded, grape picking idiot none the less?
On the other hand… A retarded, grape picking idiot, is probably more then they can contend with. Huummm…
Ramen
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Same here, G’nite Nikkiee!
Ramen
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http://www.mosnews.com/news/2006/12/14/darvinmustdie.shtml
Now the Russians are up to it as well.
My brother mentioned to me a while back that the creationists are working quite hard in the former USSR to push their nonsense.
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http://www.prweb.com/releases/2006/12/prweb490654.htm
I’m sure some of you could really go to town on this one.
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http://www.nwprogressive.org/weblog/2006/12/bush-tries-to-censor-us-geological.html
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Just read this one. I’m not surprised that a lot of people are so paranoid about this. Sitting across in the UK I can see a time when the rest of the world is wizzing ahead and large parts of the USA are heading back to the Dark Ages. I know some people across here would be happy about that, I’m not actually one of them.
Apart from anything else it’s not good for the rest of the world to have a religious fundamentalist superpower who has no problem with lying to its own citizens. Christians with nukes are at least as scary as Muslims with nukes.
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6176061.stm
Some what more cheerful and hopeful link than the last few. Early flying mammals.
Yes I’m bored and looking for fun stuff online for people to talk to me about. That and I’d like to see this thread reach the 1000 mark.
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I’ll help your thread-inflating news quest, Jon E.
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Sad news:
http://richarddawkins.net/article,418,Chinas-white-dolphin-called-extinct-after-20-million-years,AP-CNNcom
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Sciency possibly slightly angering news (from same site):
http://richarddawkins.net/article,416,The-A-to-Z-Guide-to-Political-Interference-in-Science-US,Union-of-Concerned-Scientists
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@J
Thanks. Good articles. Finally got round to signing up to the petitions against Faith Schools and Indoctrinating Kids. Pity the machine I’m using has no sound card.
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