Dear People who believe in the FSM,
Bobby Henderson is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
*update* TLM’s comment @ 8:15pm:
May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
I just wanted to note that TLM’s suggested book is amazon-ranked at approximately #153,000, whereas The Gospel is currently ranked at #825 (lower is better).
*update* TLM’s comment @ 9:17pm:
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need an FSM to add to the pile.
@Captain Nodulous Silicate
Silicon nodule??? I’ll bite…are you a computer systems engineer? Me I’m a computer dummy…
RAmen
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Arr Arr me joviality is some more concrete (perhaps) and classical may be…
Avast. I’d ave been better witted to pick Captain noodulous Silicate, arr arr avast.
PS: Is it acceptable to sign your name ‘Touched By His Noodly Appendage’ – TBHNA?
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I had this great put down for TLM but he’s obviously found girls (or boys) or whatever and given up baiting us lot.
arr arr avast yer main sails before the poop deck gets swabbed.
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@Nick the Bible Thumper Dec 12th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
I agree, its very lumpy down in Littlehampton.
That whole ‘from here to enternity’ rolling around in the surf and is a non-starter.
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@Spotted Zebra Dec 12th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
Wench Nikkiee…your in the Sunshine State huh…me too..I’m on the Gold Coast.
RAmen
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I’ve lived on the Coast in the past, top (Southport) and bottom (Coolangatta/Tweed)
I enjoyed living there. Then! You can have the middle though and the motorway to Bris!
Saw Southport a few years on after my residence there and wouldn’t go back.
RAmen
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@One Eyed Jack Dec 12th, 2006 at 7:54 am
I live about 6 hours from Cincy. When the museum opens, I’m getting a group of friends together to go down there. It should be a load.
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Going in pirate gear? Post some pics, up somewhere, of your visit anyway.
RAmen
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Hmm…..interesting silence….I didn’t interupt anything did I?
hahaha
RAmen
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I’ll say something…
I’m just bummed about the Nick! I thought he was one of us?
Ramen
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He was Peter, but he saw a light. I think it was one of those ones they use in the brainwashing process. I don’t think he’ll hold up to god on a stick worship though. After all there is that little matter of the opposite sex.
RAmen
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Get used to it Pete! I’m living for the lord (the REAL one) now.
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C’mon in the water feels fine!
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Wait, all you pastafarians are gay? We christians don’t need any more gay controversies. Hmmmm.
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Revised Statement of conversion: Rid yourselves of your hedonistic ways of gaydom, then C’mon in the water feels fine.
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Seriously though, we really can’t have too many more gay pedophilia incidents. Its starting to mess with the schtick were going for.
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Ken Ham is Australian born…
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He likes cricket…
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He’s got a really really good autograph…
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The world’s crumbling around my head.
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I’m off to cry in a corner. :’(
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Well back to do some work for nikki
RAmen
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“After all there is that little matter of the opposite sex.”
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Ohh why do you test me so, evil harpee!
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The power of Christ will certainly protect me from the hedonistic lustings towards jezebelles such as yourself.
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Even if they are long legged, hot sounding, jezebelles who likely have that awesome aussie accent that I love so mu………… Aahhhh Damn (Tightens bloody barbed leg strap)
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I’m off to flagellate myself as pennance, be back shortly.
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Damn, over 800 posts. Is there any kool aid left? I’ll go get some more.
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@Nick the Bible Thumper: Are you having a bubble bath with your local priest? You really seem to enjoy that water.
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@nick the bible thumper
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does anybody take you seriously. your words are retardum are quite confusing and only a little amusing.
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Wench Nikkiee Dec 12th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Well back to do some work for nikki
RAmen
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Well they say you can’t save everyone.
I just hope he’s happy, that’s what matters!
Ramen
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@Jesus… you do know that Nick is merely our own infidel, reborn.
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He isn’t some mindless fundi, he just drunk too much beer and got temporarily misled by a priest. He’ll be back eventually.
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@ Jingles,
That was my thought exactly!
Ramen
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Well the wine tasting can be very attractive. Then there are those Catholic school girl uniforms. Oh yeah those uniforms. Of course the coffer comes around eventually. They frown on putting spaghetti in the coffer. When the holes start to become apparent he’ll be back.
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Oh by the way, peter, don’t suppose you have any lemon lime flavour left? If you do, I’ll take a good 50,000,000 litres.(that’s about an Olympic swimming pool, right?)
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Jingles Dec 12th, 2006 at 7:42 pm
Oh by the way, peter, don’t suppose you have any lemon lime flavour left? If you do, I’ll take a good 50,000,000 litres.(that’s about an Olympic swimming pool, right?)
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Sure I do… That’s the great thing about Miracle water…
It tastes like whatever you want it too…
That’s the Miracle of it…
Aside from the other things it can do…
That’s why it is Miracle water…
Ramen
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“@Nick the Bible Thumper: Are you having a bubble bath with your local priest? You really seem to enjoy that water.”
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Naah I’m a new convert. So far I’ve only got as far as hot oil rubs and a couple of friendly games of “hide the sausage”!
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I think that I have to gain more favor with the lord before I move up to the level of communal bubble baths. But when I do, you can be damn sure that you guys are ALL invited!
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Just keep your damn noodles out of my bubble bath. Starch inhibits the bubbles!
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I’m back from a long day of ironing and smudging. For the love of the FSM, will someone help me escape this life of drudgery?
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@jesus christ
Here’s a clue. Hit Ctrl+F (for “find”), when the little box pops up, type “humour deficit disorder”, Click “find next” , read the post, continue clicking and reading until you reach the end of the page.
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If at the end of this, you still feel malice towards me, repeat the entire process again. If again you still feel malice towards me, then you pastafarians have some major problems.
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Not only will you have to administer humor education to the masses at large, but also to your own church members, very sad indeed!
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And if you are going to blaspheme my lord and saviour through your screen name, please have the descency to capitalize his name.
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PS JC, you are totally gay!
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@nick the bible thumper
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alright, i got the news, you are on are side. i didn;t know you were actually on our side and for that i am sorry for all the things i said. i guess i thought what you were saying was literal. you;re right, for this time, i am gay (and straight, hahahaha)
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listen, i am going to say i’m sorry, so can we be cool.
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IroningWench (formerly SaucyWench) Dec 12th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
I’m back from a long day of ironing and smudging. For the love of the FSM, will someone help me escape this life of drudgery?
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Well hi there, Hippie wench!
I may be out of line, but I want to ask you, how old your kids are?
You don’t have to answer, but I was wondering?
Your friend… Me
Ramen
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16, 14 and 3. God help me.
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IroningWench (formerly SaucyWench) Dec 12th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
16, 14 and 3. God help me.
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haha, I hear ya, I’ve a 15 year old girl. That’s enough for me! Gezz!
I’ll wish you luck! And Kudos to you, you’ve got your hands full!
Ramen
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@ Jesus Christ
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No way in hell we’re “cool”, you and your spaghetti lovin ilk represent everything that is bringing this nation down. In case you didn’t notice, this here is ONE NATION UNDER GOD. Thats the real God, Jesus, maybe you’ve heard of him since you like to blaspheme in his name so much.
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I sure as hell couldn’t be “cool” with you unless I was some Jesus hating, secular, democrat, tree hugging, Nancy Pelosi lovin, hippie assed, liberal!
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Oh and by the way, I’d also have to be Gay!
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Jesus rules and you guys blow! But I will still pray for your souls.
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@Jingles Dec 12th, 2006 at 7:42 pm
‘Oh by the way, peter, don’t suppose you have any lemon lime flavour left? If you do, I’ll take a good 50,000,000 litres.(that’s about an Olympic swimming pool, right?)’
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This is no doubt for patriotic purposes Jingles. Are we swimming somewhere then? If that is the case do we ever need any supernateral help?
RAmen
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@IroningWench (formerly SaucyWench) Dec 12th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
16, 14 and 3. God help me.
&
@Peter Popoff Dec 12th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
haha, I hear ya, I’ve a 15 year old girl.
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I will pray to the Majestic FSM, that He may keep your offspring hip, happy and healthy,
and that your teens, at least occassionally, take your word for something.
RAmen
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@ Wench Nikkiee – before I go off for another exciting day of launderin’ I want to let you know that my teenagers think, much as TLM does, that I’m a total nerd. I am a card-carrying nerd, of course, but they make it sound like a bad thing. I will say this, though, they’re both evolutionists. I don’t know if they believe in God, but it’s clear that they’re not Christians, in spite of having been lovingly exposed to it by their stepmother, Satan. To the three year old I’m the sun and the moon.
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@ Nick the Bible Thumper
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‘In case you didn’t notice, this here is ONE NATION UNDER GOD.’
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Funny how it wasn’t actually founded as that, though, isn’t it? It wasn’t until your glorious leaders got a bit twitchy about the godless communists last century that they decided ‘One Nation Under God’ would be a good bit of brand development. Your country’s founders were quite against this sort of national-scale religious bullying.
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It’s a sad thing when a nation actually stoops to defining its own existence in terms of its favourite delusion. Perhaps atheists ought to Tip-Ex America off their atlases.
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Woah, woah, woah – I forgot who I was talking to and fell into the humour deficit trap.
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Actually, no I didn’t: I’m playing along, too.
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FSM, this is a headache.
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@nick the bible thumper
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am i talking to the same ”nick the bible thumper’ from the fsm missionaries post(which i know i’m cool with) or are you different. if you’re not, then i say that as jesus you love me too much. and you think that i’m gay.
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also, i’m libertarian. i just am liberal when it comes to god. god doesn’t exist. the FSM does however (hahahahahahahaha). and also i ain’t gay, i’m perfectly straight. just because i know that god doesn’t exist doesn’t mean i’m gay. if you’re trying to be serious, they a know you’re a total bigot.
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By the way – Nick the Bible Thumper, please sign here:
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http://www.letter2ted.org
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(It’ll be our little secret, alright?)
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jesus christ, when the Good Lord handed out humor detectors, I am afraid that not only did you get one, but bits of your head were cannibalized for spare parts.
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Oops, that should read: …I am afraid that not only did you NOT get one…
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@khelvan
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what do you mean?
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@khelvan
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oh, is that one you mean. wow, this past few days of posting have been confusing.
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wow, with rats, bible bashing and no hate mail do ya think this thread might get to 1000 posts?
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http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1970910,00.html
The Guardian being as mild as ever towards Creationism.
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@J
“Woah, woah, woah – I forgot who I was talking to and fell into the humour deficit trap.”
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Yeah I’m getting good at this! Starting to confuse myself.
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words of wisdom from jesus christ
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if thou wish to stalk upon me, thou must realize that just because thou like me doth not mean that thou has the right to think he is saved. you, just like every over fan of mine, are not that special. just because thou go to church doth not make though a good mortal. also, if you’re going to preach thy name, thou doth not do it in a negative way. if thou do that, then nobody will want to worship me. adios thou, i am going to spend time with thy friend the Flying Spaghetti Monster. i will also save a bunch of women from being virgins for the rest of their life visiting the stripper factory.”
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P.S. I, the lord jesus, am sometimes scared of my fans. also, i kind uv have to say that the ark is a fairy tale.
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Has anyone else noticed the line between Creationist “Science” and Creationist Satire becoming a little blurred lately? What with mindlessly stupid creationists spouting arguments a child could poke holes in and ultra-dry parodying on the part of satirists I’m having to study websites quite carefully to make an opinion on which is the case.
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If these people can’t work out which the FSM is then they don’t stand a hope on some of the things I’ve seen. Hey, they’ve stopped posting! Interesting. Do you suppose that natural selection has got them all at last?
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I mean, the statistical chances of someone so mindlessly dense surviving 5 minutes is minuscule, it must have been the FSM keeping them alive all this time! The fact they’re not posting much right now probably means the FSM got bored with his joke, I mean test of our faith…
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@beatly rich
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all creationist arguments are bull. they can spout out something they feel goes against evolution only to have it shoved back in their face. creationists are even stupider the dumbest blonde you’ll ever meet. and just because one says they went to college does not give them any credibility whatsoever
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Such a shame that TLM couldn’t continuously come up with more originality and argument in his posts. I kinda miss him, but I don’t miss his inane repetition. Oh well, maybe we’ll have better luck next time!
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You guys are dumb. Creationism is hard science, backed up by tonnes of facts, and the bible, which is also a fact!
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Did you guys know that 15 monkeys typing continuously on 15 typewriters would eventual reproduce the entire set of all Kent Hovinds books!
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@Nick
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Why would you need 15 monkeys when just one (named Kent Hovinds) would suffice?
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Nick—”Did you guys know that 15 monkeys typing continuously on 15 typewriters would eventual reproduce the entire set of all Kent Hovinds books!”
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Hahahahaha…genius man, pure genius! :)
RAmen, my brother of the sauce!
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