Dear People who believe in the FSM,
Bobby Henderson is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
*update* TLM’s comment @ 8:15pm:
May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
I just wanted to note that TLM’s suggested book is amazon-ranked at approximately #153,000, whereas The Gospel is currently ranked at #825 (lower is better).
*update* TLM’s comment @ 9:17pm:
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need an FSM to add to the pile.
yes, that’s the one
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ehm, okay, I checked the FAQ (thanx, sorry), but still, what’s meant by “yes, send me a link?”
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@ Saucy Wench
I agree with gill. Very eloquent indeed. I suspect some young readers won’t or can’t appreciate that though. No Matter. I think ignoring and not responding is best. It’s odd how a person can equate a well written (or even not so well-written) rebuttal or response to anger. I think someone gives himself too much credit.
.
@ laughingnerd
*yawn*
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@kysyra
I think that mainly refers to those who reproduce the letter on their website/blog. I guess, if you wanted you could just send Bobby an email (I don’t think it’s required, but probably appreciated) of anything interesting you are using the letter for. I’m sure he’d be interested in ‘German ……teaching purposes’. It’s nice to here about the spread of His Noodley Word.
RAmen
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I’m don’t think you’re getting the point of these political propoganda messages, you’re supposed to email me at dr.mcqueer@gmail.com Bobby this includes you vote now I promise to destroy the evil flame people who haunt me even in my sleep trust me they’re a plague and a bunch of godless scum. And I’ll lower taxes and other good shit.
♪patriotic music♪ Remember, a vote for Pixel Pete is a vote… for freedom.
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Thanks Nikkiee for your confirmation about the ironing thing. I kind of suspected that the strippers didn’t wear things that needed ironing and no one else there cared if their own clothes did.
But I would much prefer to have all this confirmed.
I mean, imagine believing in a particular afterlife and then being all disappointed when it didn’t live up to your expectations/its press. How would you feel?
I certainly think that religions should be obliged to make specific claims about the afterlife and back them up with testimonials – like yours.
Otherwise you might spend your whole life on some useless bunch of tossers and get nothing.
How would you feel?
There’s a real ’spend now get later’ scam in many religions that doesn’t accord with modern society at all.
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err…my spelling! ‘nice to hear about the spread of His Noodley Word’
RAmen
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@WenchNikkiee
erm, actually… Now I’ve been looking around, and I absolutely can’t find a “contact” info… guess I’m more stupid than I just claimed…
Any more help?
ID is actually starting to spread in Germany, too. I just learned that two schools (and one of them a public one!) are trying to get ID on the curriculum. This is really scary, so if it takes a caricature to help stopping this insanity, so be it…
May his noodlyness bless you for your patience with me!
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@Dan Allen Dec 11th, 2006 at 4:54 pm
‘I mean, imagine believing in a particular afterlife and then being all disappointed when it didn’t live up to your expectations/its press.’
.
Pastafarian Heaven surpassed all my expectations, Dan. Not only was everything there as promised, but the scenery (including magnificent waterfalls and beautiful, tame wildlife) was just to die for. (pun intended)
.
RAmen
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@Mad John Kidd – Dec 10th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
How about Manic Depressive: Merry Christmas and Miserable New Year…
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@kysyra
More than happy to help. Bobby’s email is at the bottom. (He apparently gets a few…..in the range of thousands….but I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear from you)
http://www.venganza.org/about/
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*g*
my next question would have been “how the hell do people manage to send all that hate mail?”
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*g*
my next question would have been “how the hell do people manage to send all that hate mail?”
thanx again
RAmen
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@kysyra
ps I’m giving the links rather than the direct info, so you may be able to store and easily find them.
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@WenchNikkiee
okay, “how the place-where-fundamentalists-have-to-content-themselves-with-stale-beer-and-ugly-strippers do people manage to send all that hate mail”.
Old habits are hard to break…
RAmen
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@Wench Nikkiee Dec 11th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
I actually think we’re on the verge of irony.
The very tedious (see posts passim) TLM opened this line with a suggestion that Bobby Henderson may be trying to counsel suicide and here you are implying that it might be worth dying to get to FSM Heaven!
How weird is that?
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found it, thanx once more and good night!
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@Kysyra – are you saying that the fundies at least promise beer and strippers?
You see I’ve never really understood the Christian heaven thing. We seem to be promised that it’s ‘the best’ but all accepted descriptions of it make it sound rubbish.
I’m certainly not the first person to think that.
I mean when I’m choosing arbitrary twaddle to believe in I would like to make an rational and informed decision and not just jump on the biggest passing band wagon – i.e. CoFSM.
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@kysyra
‘how the hell do people manage to send all that hate mail?‒
They are just dedicated krysyra. Took me a minute to get back to you. Was retrieving links for some of our more cherished hatemail. Hope you get a chance to look.
http://www.venganza.org/2006/02/14/hey-bobby-what-did-you.htm
.
LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT
http://www.venganza.org/2005/11/25/listen-dumbass-you-think-that.htm
.
Yea, your a fucking moron,
http://www.venganza.org/2006/03/25/yea-your-a-fucking-moron.htm
.
your god is a homo
http://www.venganza.org/2006/08/03/your-god-is-a-homo.htm
/
RAmen and good luck.
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Laugh,
.
It’s hard to make a diagnosis over the internet, but after reading your latest post, I think you might be completely without any sense of humour whatsoever.
.
Brother Boyardee
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@Dan Allen
How weird is that?
.
Deliberate on my part. I was just retrieving a few links to some of our more cherished Hatemail for kysyra. But my post is awaiting moderation (probably due to one of the addresses….it happens sometimes when you post links).
Hope krsyra gets them next time.
.
@ krsyra
“how the place-where-fundamentalists-have-to-content-themselves-with-stale-beer-and-ugly-strippers do people manage to send all that hate mailâ€.
.
krsyra is referring to Pastafarian hell.
/
‘make an rational and informed decision and not just jump on the biggest passing band wagon – i.e. CoFSM.’
.
The CoFSM bandwagon is the only one moving forward, not backward.
RAmen
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@Brother Boyardee,
We’ve got bored and decided that we accept that TLM has a fantastic sense of humour, so clever and brilliant in fact that no one understands it.
It is certainly the case that true genius is not recognised in its own lifetime and TLM hasn’t yet been recognised in his – so that’s a clincher I guess.
the more you point this out to TLM the more stupid you look.
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Hey, guys,
.
Go here: http://www.rte.ie/tv/thepanel/index.html and search the page for the word ’spaghetti’.
.
Okay, they’ve misnamed Him as the GSM, but it’s a reference…
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I’m christian and I like this website. That is because it is funny and its a blow to intelligent design.
p.s bobby, this has jack sparrows ip adress because we’re sharing a computer
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Nikkiee,
I’m just saying that now CoFSM is far bigger than that Jesus thing, we need be careful that we’re picking it for the right reasons.
We don’t want to be acussed of mindless bandwagoning.
The long standing (and indeed only) argument for the Christian belief is some crude clump of notions of popularity. It clearly doesn’t have much else going for it.
So now we know that CoFSM has replaced that lot in terms of new members per annum we shouldn’t fall in to the non-rational trap of assuming our collective confidence creates genuine knowledge.
You also need to realise that I’m British and stale beer actually sounds attractive and there’s a part of me that says ‘hang on exactly how ugly and how much stale beer would it take to take care of that’.
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prove that god does not exist. I’m interested.
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Your silence proves that you are incorrect, or you type slow.
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I think I’m saying that Pascal’s wager might need to be revisited in light of all this.
I seems that religions try to out bid each other in terms of afterlife promises and I am entirely prepared to be bought off from CoFSM by a better deal…
I mean ontology can go whistle, what do I get and when?
Beer: Sounds nice – but stale may be OK if you call it real alle.
Strippers: Again that’s got something going for it. But Islam offers a lot more tactile action frankly…
Ironing: I’ve only got any real feed back from CoFSM and that may well be swinging it at the moment…
ANy offers?
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While I wait, I will tell you the lyrics of a christian song to annoy you.
I’m to young to march in the infantry
shoot in the artillery
Ride in the cavalry
I’m to young to fly over open sea but i’M IN THE LORD’S aRMY
(YES SIR)
i’M in the lord’s army.
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Now what if you enjoyed ironing, while drinking flat beer with 72 virgins?
Is that heaven! Oh yeah it is!
Ramen
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Buck Shlegeris Dec 11th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
prove that god does not exist. I’m interested.
.
??? Here’s one, prove it does exist??? I’m waiting…
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@Buck Shlegeris
I love your argument that either
1. God Exists
OR
2. I’m a slow typist.
If I tell you I’m a slow typist, how do you feel about the god existing thing?
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I would certainly drink flat beer if that meant 72 virgins would do my ironing.
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@ Dan Allen
hahaha
Same here,
Ramen
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@ Buck
.
Now, this ‘I’m in the Lord’s army’ stuff bothers me.
.
Glad your faith doesn’t stop you enjoying the site, Buck. But, do you want to be in the ‘army’ of some fellow for whom there’s not a scrap of existence (whoops, type-o – meant evidence, but ‘existence’ll do).
.
If you were ‘In the Lord’s morris dancing brigade’, that’d be fine. You can believe what you like if all you’re doing is jangling bells and giving everyone something to smile about.
.
But when it’s an *army*, that kind of stamps a jackboot on other people’s rights. Unless we’re talking a Salvation Army kind of army, you better make damn sure your General actually exists.
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@ Dan Allen
.
‘I love your argument that either
1. God Exists
OR
2. I’m a slow typist.’
.
Very good!
.
I like it even more if you ask god himself. You can reasonably assume that god believes that he exists. So, let’s ask him for proof: ‘God? Prove you exist.’
…
…
…
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…
…
…
Well, using Buck’s reasoning, god’s (rather rude) silence ‘proves’ that either he’s wrong (and therefore doesn’t exist) or that he is a slow typer (or the divine equivalent). Funny, I’d never thought of the Almighty Creator as a bit useless with a keyboard. Bit of a CV let-down, isn’t it:
.
‘Very efficient worker (omnipotent), quick learner (omniscient), always punctual (omnipresent). Typing speed: 5wpm.’
.
He’d never get a job as a secretary.
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I think Jack Sparrow beat him to death for getting on his computer.
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Ah…cup of tea time….so what’s happening? Are we still waiting for god to post?
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@Buck Shlegeris Dec 11th, 2006 at 6:01 pm
‘I’m to young to march in the infantry…….I’m to young to fly over open sea but i’M IN THE LORD’S aRMY (YES SIR) i’M in the lord’s army.’
.
Has jeesus camp come to the CoFSM?
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Come on god, move it will you……you are holding up the thread?
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I just had a thought…. What if there is a god, oh boy am I in big trouble…
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Of course there is a God Peter. He is a big Noogley being made of pasta. Derr!!!
No more of that jeesus water for you, ok!
Now I bet if we asked the FSM to post as proof of His Noodleyness’s existence……
RAmen
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The chances of there being a god is about the same as me winning the lottery not once, not twice, but millions of times! And, wouldn’t it be loverly. I’d have assclown body guards, bowls and bowls of peeled grapes, I could get my oars restored; the mind just boggles.
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god or no god…I ain’t changing my spots or my religion.
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Where are your oars, by the way, Oarless Marc?
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No, wait! Wench Nikkiee is right. I have seen the light! Well, actually, I have seen the starchy white appendages of the Noodly One. They are glistening and moonbeams are refracting from their spendor. Or, my cat just threw up on the windowsill. Either way, it is spectacular! Praise be!
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Whoo Hooo peeled grapes!!!
Whoo Hooo!!!
We need some fresh hate mail to work with…
This thread is getting big…
Water for sale…
Hey, Nikkiee, what’s tomorrow have in store for me?
It’s still yesterday over here, and I’m a wonderin’?
I can tell you about yesterday, if you can clue in on tomorrow?
Thanks!
Ramen
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Gurr….too more pasta for the cat?
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@Peter Popoff
I am under oath not to disclose that information, lest it results in a problem with the time/space continuum. I can’t even give you a hint. Well maybe just a little one, (*whispers* the sun is highly likely to come up even if it is obscured by clouds) just keep it to yourself, ok.
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