Dear People who believe in the FSM,
Bobby Henderson is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
*update* TLM’s comment @ 8:15pm:
May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
I just wanted to note that TLM’s suggested book is amazon-ranked at approximately #153,000, whereas The Gospel is currently ranked at #825 (lower is better).
*update* TLM’s comment @ 9:17pm:
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need an FSM to add to the pile.
Tis that time of season my fellow Pastafarians to cater to the truly disturbed Christian souls that find their way to Our Solemn Church. And here is a list of carols of which to serenade them upon their arrival:
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1) Schizophrenia — “Do You Here What I Hear?”
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2) Multiple Personality Disorder — “We Three Kings Disoriented Are”
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3) Dementia — “I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas”
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4) Narcissistic — “Hark the Harold Angels Sing About Me”
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5) Manic — “Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Shrubbery….”
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6) Paranoid — “Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me”
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7) Personality Disorder — “Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire”
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8) Humour Deficit Disorder — “You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, And More Than Willing to Tell You Why”
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9) Attention Deficit Disorder — “Silent Night, Holy…oooh look at the sketti…can I have a chocolate…why is Australia so far away?….”
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10) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells….
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RAmen, my brothers and sisters of the Sauce
MJK
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So this is the thread everyone hangsout at. I got SO sick of trolls over the weekend!
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@MJK: Nice carol list. I especially like the ADD carol, but maybe MPD is more fitting for our christian friends.
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Nerd signature.
8-|
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@Mad John Kidd
I like the HDD one best.
RAmen
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Not sure if this quote is already up or not:
“It is the test of a good religion whether you can make a joke about it.”
G K Chesterton
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For SaucyWench
“It is a fine thing to establish one’s own religion in one’s heart, not to be dependent on tradition and second-hand ideals. Life will seem to you, later, not a lesser, but a greater thing.” D.H. Lawrence
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Bugga fifth post in a row!
“Fanaticism in religion is the alliance of the passions she condemns with the dogmas she professes.” Lord Acton
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@Dan allen
of course we won’t have to iron in heaven, or do any other chores. We will have servants for that, probably the humorless, non-believers like Laughingman.
(he probably needs a bunk-bed, one for himself and one for his ego)
TLM: it’s not smart to brag (one g or two?) about how smart you are. Oh, and it’s pretty childish to keep demanding something that we’ve told you again and again you’re not going to get.
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@DutchPastaGirl Dec 11th, 2006 at 12:28 am
“…… keep demanding something that we’ve told you again and again you’re not going to get.”
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He’ll pout PastaGirl, probably do a little foot stamping/holding breath too.
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I will run. Run to the my kitchen to get some tasty noodles.
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PMSL @MJK’s Carols – have copied to my blog – hope that is OK – if not comment here and I will delete it – have creditted (?sp!)
I’m off to work – blah.
Have fun all. :)
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I think TLM worships mirrors, (when he is looking at one) and sniffing jock straps.
He no doubt has a mirror positioned so as to admire his reflection, while he is posting at the CoFSM. He reminds me of the early posts by BriantheCanuck and the mad dokta.
RAmen
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Damn… I think I pissed Skeptic off so much he should count as 2 angered nerds.
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Nerds I’ve angered: 8
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And as to me being boring… it doesn’t really matter. Boring or not I’m still right. Plus ah… “Don’t worry, I do know what I’m talking about because I was young and idealistic once. I was sure I had all the answers and was therefore quite critical of the world around me. But life has a way of humbling a person.” Sounds like somebody lead a fucked up life… and still does. So what is your great job there Skeptic? Do you sit behind a cubicle all day wishing you had a “noodly appendage” to play with? You guys all need help. RPing about the Da Vinci Code… wow… just wow. You guys seem to claim you have great lives… yet you come online to RP and talk about midgits. Midgits isn’t even the correct term… last time I checked they prefered to be called “Little People”. For a race that you guys bizzarely claim to be sacred… you don’t even address them right. You people all need help. For adults you guys sure don’t behave like it.
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@J:
The infamous Pablo Diablo is a family friend of clan Davey.
I can see that your natural curiosity is going to get the better of you….
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Do you know how much imagination, wit and skill it takes to be a TLM-grade pedant?
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None.
None whatsoever.
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TLM, I’m not trying to offend you, nor make you angry. I (like most of us here) would just like to help.
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To start, I would suggest visiting your school guidance counselor. If you are indeed battling with depression, anxiety, and anger issues, your guidance counselor can help. It also sounds like you’re from a decent family – most insurance covers psychiatric treatment and medication (if necessary) – so it should not be a burden on them (your family), at all.
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Regardless of how you go about pursuing it – professional assistance can seriously help to get back some of the balance that is missing from your life.
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May His Noodly Grace aid you on the path to recovery.
RAmen.
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“For adults you guys sure don’t behave like it.” I am not an adult! *stamps foot and pouts* Has anyone else noticed how TLM says the same thing over and over again in every single post? Or am I the only one who even bothers to read them anymore?
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@ UnLaughingBoy
Hahahahaha…please stop, your killing me…hahahahahahaha! :)
Thank you for your endless waves of amusement, wit and boundless sea of knowledge. I can hardly contain myself with anticipation of your next pissing…I mean posting aboard Our Fine Vessel. :)
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For the record, the migit issue has been dealt with in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and if you had bothered to read it you just might have learned something. You claim that we misued the term and then proceeded to misuse it yourself. Can you say hypocrite. For your information, my PC challenged friend, the terms “midgit”, “midget”, and “Little People” are interchangeable. It simply depends on who you are talking to, innit. Further, they are not a separate race but a genetic anomaly. A breeding pair can produce “normal-sized” offspring and “normal-sided” breeding pairs can produce migits, so there. But I wouldn’t expect you to understand anything about genetics, it would take you away from your precious mirror. :)
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Our Great One’s Noddly Appendage is what keeps us from falling off the face of the Earth you silly person. Everyone knows that. How can you live in this day and age and not know of the FSM Theory of Gravity. And we need help? Pa-lease! :)
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Look, up in the sky, UnlaughingBoy, Harold’s Angels are singing about YOU again! Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahah…keep up the good work my child. Our Faith depends on YOU! :)
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MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian
RAmen
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@ TLM – I understand where you’re coming from, I really do. I read someone’s post somewhere, and it made me want to let you know that, far from being a daft, iron-wielding tart, I am a college-educated, hard-working wife and mother of three. I have a full-time job and a home to maintain. I may spend some of my free time on the computer, yes, but I also take care of my children, work, pay the bills, vote, pay taxes, etc. day in and day out unrelentingly.
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I also have a lot of actual fun kayaking, hiking, riding my bike, going to museums, the library, the Audubon Society or wherever with my family and friends and by myself. I have a life. I don’t know you’re exact circumstances, so I don’t know what your life is like. I do know that 17 years is enough for you to have seen some hard times, so I do not want to minimize what you may or may not have experienced at this point in your life. Maybe your life is entirely wonderful. If so, that’s great.
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That being said, please understand that I’m not whining about my life. Life is life and I’m just doing what’s in front of me to do. I’m just trying to let you know that the humor I find at this website is good for me. I also care deeply about the value of the separation of church and state as a means of protecting the religious freedom the US was founded upon.
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What is important to me is the concepts that gave birth to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the like-minded folk I generally find here. The very nature of what’s going on here makes it impossible for us to give in to your demand. You are intelligent enough to see this: You zeroed in on it and made it your own cause.
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We have the right to believe whatever we want to believe, and unless we are going door-to-door trying to shove it down people’s throats, I do not see the harm in it. If someone can’t see that this is satire at it’s finest, then it is an exercise in futility to try to explain it to him or her. It’s like trying to teach a pig to dance. It doesn’t work and it annoys the pig. (Mind you, I’m not calling anybody a pig. That was just an analogy.)
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You can quote parts of this, call me names, and be generally annoying about the whole thing, but it will not change my mind one iota. May today be everything you want it to be for yourself.
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I’m with you, gill, I’ve seen this episode before. Time to change the channel. Laters.
RAmen
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I had to come back and thank you for your warm words, as usual, Saucy. You are truly a beacon upon the High Seas of Ignorance of which we have been cast adrift. May His Noodly Appendage touch you and yours always.
RAmen
MJK
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@ Booty—Dec 11th, 2006 at 1:10 am
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I’m afraid I can’t take full credit for the carols. A friend sent it to me in an email so I have no idea were it comes from originally. I think it’s public domain. I modified it somewhat to better suit the perspective of Our Church. Thank you for posting it on your blog. Spread the Word!
RAmen
MJK
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@ MJK, thanks! I try to see the inner Pastafarian in everybody.
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I’m going to go out now and take a walk to do some errands and commune with my non-god. If I don’t come back, send help, as I will have melted.
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Nerds I’ve Angered: 8
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Hippie Housewives I’ve Angered: 1
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Look… I love my life, and I wouldn’t change it for a thing. Looking at you guys I feel even better about my life. But I can’t help but feel sorry for you guys. Look… this site really doesn’t do anything against the seperation of Church and State. It doesn’t fight to keep ID out of schools. All it does is make you people look crazy. If you really want to do some good then you need to do better then post on a blog on a website as daft as FSM. Go outside, and try to convince our government to move in a more progressive direction. Vote in every ellection, and vote Progressive. In America, it’s not the Church that’s moved onto the Government’s ground… but it’s the Goverment that moved onto the Church’s ground. Let’s face it… Goerge and Karl are the ones holding us back when it comes to science moving forward. Stop campaigning for something that doesn’t matter like the FSM… go and campaign to help out your local congressman. You people are pretty much powerless so long as you guys stay on this site. Your opinion doesn’t matter so long as you have an opinion on this stuff. If you guys stay on this site because it’s funny and you find it a joke… then you’re pretty much a joke yourself.
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More Satire from TLM! You are too funny TLM. Keep up your joking self.
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TLM — you’re too young to vote, so why are you telling us to do something that you cannot do? Those who can’t do, teach?
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Pouty, self-absorbed teens I’ve pissed off: 1
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@ TLM – Thank you for your opinions. You have some excellent points, although I don’t agree with everything you said. Your advice has been duly noted and will be given careful consideration. There is one thing you might want to consider, though. You are unable to tell from this website exactly what we are doing outside of this. For all you know, we could be very active in our communities, states and/or on the federal level to address the issues we are concerned about. And please don’t underestimate the power of people promoting ‘absurd’ ideas to affect change in the world. Take Galilieo, for example, who was branded a heretic for having the audacity to go against the heliocentric worldview of his time. If participating in the absurdity of this website encourages people to become more involved in the ways you suggested, then hasn’t it been a part of the process of working towards actual change? The universe works in mysterious ways, and we have not yet arrived at the end to judge how effective this is or isn’t.
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Also, in response to some presumably fundamentalist’s diatribe on another thread, I responded in a way that has led me to a new understanding of where I’m really at in my spiritual development. Coming to this site has, in part, helped me to be more solid and clear regarding what I believe in my heart. I can’t see how that is a bad thing.
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Again, thank you. You will find that if you present your ideas in the manner you did in response to my last post, what I think you are actually trying to say will be heard much more clearly, and will be responded to in a kinder, gentler way. Peace.
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@ MJK
Thanks – have credited you anyway – I am sure you deserve it :)
You have made at least one of my friends roll around the floor laughing!
Keep up the good work.
I am doing my best to spread the word – my blog has several links to this site already :)
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TLM, Dude! Like when you’re 18 and stuff, will you have more good advice to share with us?
I hope so, I do!
I’ll be waiting… You really should buy some of my water…
It’s been known to educate!
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I don’t have many votes, so far it’s just me and Popoff. Remember, to vote me for president, email to dr.mcqueer@gmail.com this doesn’t exclude you Bobby, I expect your complete support against the evil flame people.
* patriotic music *A vote for Pixel Pete is a vote… for freedom
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Hi Peter
How are water sales today. I’ve just been reading a few posts by new converts. I so love the way they first convert to pastafarianism for the fun, frivolity, beer/strippers and then become interested and involved when they get the purpose of our Church. Awareness is growing exponentially.
RAmen
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Hi Nikkiee,
Well you know, sales is sales. Could always be better, but I won’t complain.
I know! These converted folks touch my heart! I thank the likes of Dr Mike, nic, TLM and others, for drawing to and pointing out The CoFSM.
I do think they are a key factor to the growth here.
Ramen
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I found when I was on a conversion drive recently, that was lukewarm interest from some potential Pastafarians, (the biology students were easy) til I played the beer and stripper card that is.
RAmen
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SaucyWench– How in the holy name of FSM do you DO that?! You manage to make every single one of your posts eloquent and…and downright /poetic/, too.
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TLM– …Buddy. You’re 17. You can’t even vote yet. Your world experience is around zilch, maybe zilch and a half. Not to steryotype, but from my personal experience–seeing as how I was 17 myself up until last Thursday–chances are you aren’t doing much more to save the world yourself, since very few 17 year olds actually take the time to care. Or, rather: we spend some time on this website in between the other things we do; you spend your time on this website to tell us we have no lives, when all you seem to do is…spend time on this website. Way to call the kettle black, pot!
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TLM still doesn’t get the recruiting power of the CoFSM. To be expected though!
Hard to to the wood for the trees, when you have your head that far up your own ass.
RAmen
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Here in the United ( that’s England to Americans ) Kingdom, our established Church Of England is hitting the headlines.
Apparently a couple of folk heard their car alarm sounding, and on investigating the cause they discovered the Bishop of Southwick sprawled on the rear seat, drunk as a skunk, throwing their child’s toys out of the car window.
They asked him what the hell he thought he was doing and received the reply ” I’m the Bishop of Southwick, it’s what I do!”
They then dragged him out of their car, he fell over, banged his head and staggered off down the road.
These Bishops sit in our House Of Lords making laws F.S.M. help us!
What should we do with the drunken Bishop? What shall we do with the drunken Bishop? What should we do with the drunken Bishop? early in the morning…….as the sea-shanty doesn’t go.
Yarr, shiver me timbers matey, Ramen.
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Southwark, here’s the story
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6168393.stm
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@SaucyWench
“I think you are actually trying to say will be heard much more clearly, and will be responded to in a kinder, gentler way. Peace.”
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Somehow Saucy, I don’t think that is the type of response TLM is going for. I think he prefers to brag to ‘his friends’ that he is ‘pissing the nerds off’. For that reason I think your response was great. Once again, his reaction to your post, appeared to imply he was under a delusion that he had pissed you off. (or was he referring to me as ‘Hippie Housewives I’ve Angered: 1′…..hahahahaha)
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RAmen
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@ Tagliatellius- I wouldn’t worry about it too much if i were you. Our leaders do that stuff sometimes, and look how well off we are^_^
Brrrrrrr…..
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8-|
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Ooops, sorry, Southwark not Southwick, excuse my mistake but I have been drinking with the Arch-Bishop Of Canterbury and I’m rat-arsed…..hic.
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@Wench Nikkiee
‘Hard to to the wood for the trees, when you have your head that far up your own ass.’
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That should have read: ‘Hard to see the wood for the trees’
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@Gill
I’m 12 and even I have more world experience than him.
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Are you serious Jack Sparrow? I’ve read many of your posts. You have way more worldly experience than this guy. Intelligence too. :)
RAmen
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Okay, I’ve been following the threat quite closely…
1) I commend you guys on your patience!
2) @TLM: Even after going through the whole thing and reading all (well, okay, most…) of your posts, I don’t really get your agenda (you’re not really at this point still asking for a disclaimer, are you? And, no, I’m pretty sure I’m not stupid. not all that much at least)
3) @everyone: Is ist okay to translate the original letter into german for teaching purposes?
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@ gill, thanks again. By the way, I think you are wise beyond your years.
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@kysyra
‘3) @everyone: Is ist okay to translate the original letter into german for teaching purposes?’
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I couldn’t see why not, but that really is henderob’s domain, since he originally publishes the mail. Someone else here may be aware of the protocol there.
RAmen
ps Do you mean ‘The Open Letter to Kansas School Board’ of TLM’s inane post?
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@kysyra
If you are referring to the Open Letter (as on second read of your post, I feel you may be) check out the ‘Frequently Asked Questions’ here:
http://www.venganza.org/about/frequently-asked-questions/
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RAmen
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