Dear People who believe in the FSM,
Bobby Henderson is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
*update* TLM’s comment @ 8:15pm:
May I make a suggestion to all of you who still believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
I just wanted to note that TLM’s suggested book is amazon-ranked at approximately #153,000, whereas The Gospel is currently ranked at #825 (lower is better).
*update* TLM’s comment @ 9:17pm:
I’m not trying to make anything personal… I’m just simply pointing out that historically people who are insane and lead cults end up in bad situations. I just thought I’d give you guys a heads up.
In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away. But as long as you guys try to continue making this thing a real religion… then I’m going to keep replying. There are too many religions screwing up the world as it is… we don’t need an FSM to add to the pile.
Well, aren’t you special
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I am special… but atleast I’m not Special Ed like the greater majority of Pastafarians. When I say Greater Majority I actually mean each and every single one of you.
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Now that’s more like the UnLaughingBoy we all know and loathe. Welcome back. And please, do enlighten us with your wondrous fountain of knowledge, dear special one.
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Helloooo.. the boofhead boy is back . Don’t feel too special we put that many posts up for anyone who sticks around and makes us laugh. Now about that thorn in your paw.
You got anyhthing new for us or just the usual drivel?
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‘I’m actually starting to feel sorry for her, she must not have a life, or that many friends. Damn…’
Still just using the others comments aimed at you, I see.
tsk tsk tsk ….
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‘What’s even worse though is that Wench Nikkiee posted like 500 of the 1000 posts.’
.
Wow! Thanks for taking the time and trouble to count all my posts :)
Hey MJK, you think I mightl get a Pastafarian Poster Award, or something for that?
RAmen
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TheLaughingMan Dec 16th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Damn… I leave you people alone and you have a fucking field day. Look at all these posts… 1000 posts because I said Bobby is the next Jim Jones. You people need so much help. What’s even worse though is that Wench Nikkiee posted like 500 of the 1000 posts. I’m actually starting to feel sorry for her, she must not have a life, or that many friends. Damn… if I knew her in real life I wouldn’t be her friend either. I’d take one look at her face and switch over the Christianity so that Jesus could give me my sight back..
.
Thats Ok! If you knew “anybody” in “real life” “you” wouldn’t have any friends anyway.
Jerks like you are friendless anyway, Nikkiee has a personality. That’s something you know nothing about. BTW, I would be the other 500 posts. Get over yourself already.
Raman
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Hi Peter. Thanks :) I think this boy likes me, he apparently went through this thread and counted all my posts. You don’t think he could be one of those weird stalker types do you? General profiling on those types, has shown that they are only aware of themselves and their own thoughts/desires as well. brr!
RAmen
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@TLM
sad man, really sad :@(
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Still calling us nerds…
.
From the boy that is actually geeky enough to use the name of a manga/anime as a screen name, it is not hilarious, it is not hysterical, outrageous, funny, humorous, trite, witty, classy, or intelligent.
.
All it is, is sad. The horribly lonely sound of a impotent geek raging against the world.
.
.
.
I mean, really, that’s why you persist in calling us nerds, isn’t it?
.
You can’t cope with the horrible truth that you aren’t popular. That you are on the outside of your school society.
.
You try so hard to be cool don’t you? You try and hang out with all the popular kids, get invited to the good parties… but it never happens, does it? The cool kids make fun of you, don’t they?
You wait by your phone, hoping, hoping desperately that someone will call you, that you can say “yeah, I’m popular, people like me”.
.
The sad, simple truth is, they don’t. You know it, and it eats you up on the inside.
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I think you can tell a lot about TLM by the calibre and content of what he perceives to be solid insults. Remind anyone of the similarity to the name calling ect, that goes on between first year high school students? I think he may be a bit younger than 17. I’d say it might be a difference between the States and Oz, except the maturity of most of the 14yo Pastafarians on site, is quite a cut above that of this guy. He probably expects to be excepted into an older teenager crowd, (based on his own percieved ’specialness’) but is no doubt continually knocked back, due to the size of his ego. If he is actually 17, then he has still got the attitude, reasoning and communication skills of someone much younger anyway.
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Theorem: TLM is witless twat.
Part #1 – Witless: He isn’t funny. That is one of the meanings of witless – without wit – and the one I’m using here.
I don’t find him funny, no one else finds him funny. I can’t imagine anyone finding him funny. The only person that finds him funny is himself. Finding yourself funny is not normally considered evidence of having wit. If anything the reverse.
He also doesn’t seem to be aware of the arguments flying around him so he is probably doubly witless – in the sense of ‘not having his wits about him’.
Part#2 – Twat: Twat is a word I would use for someone who made a fool of themselves in public as in:
A: Look at that twat standing in the middle of the road.
B: Which one?
A: The one who just bounced off the bonnet of that car…
TLM is that sort of twat. Everyone can see him and he continues to make a fool of himself despite the shouts of passing netties to ‘get off the road you fucking idiot’, etc.
Part#3 – Witless Twat: TLM is witless and a twat and therefore a witless twat.
End.
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I think we should send some wenches round to ‘broaden’ TLMs horizons.
Unless of course he’s in a state where the age of consent is >17 in which case I withdraw that remark because it could be taken as an attempt to commission a criminal offence.
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@TheLaughingMan
This is my last post to you. A serious one. I don’t know how old you are or what the chip you seem to have on your shoulder is made of. The thing is, you are cutting yourself to shreds with your posts here. I don’t want to be party to that anymore and in truth I don’t really don’t want to watch some one your age (17 or otherwise) do it to themselves. This will probably mean nothing to you at present, so no big deal.
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@Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA
‘he continues to make a fool of himself despite the shouts of passing netties to ‘get off the road you fucking idiot’, etc.’
.
I think it may be that anti-processing thing, Captain. At present he doesn’t appear to understand/speak the language.
RAmen
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Wait, I feel so stupid. Really. Until I read TheLaughingMan’s comment on our religion, I always thought satire religion and cults were two different things. Wow, he sure proved me wrong. Now, however, I have learned from TLM that everything that is not your religion is automatically a cult. Period.
So, I thank TheLaughingMan, for teaching me the error of my ways.
PS, what a way to ruin the name of J. D. Salinger and an anime series. All at the same time.
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ThatHippyMan,
NOOOOOOoooo!!!! Don’t try sarcasm against TLM.
He might come back with one of his incomprehesible posts about how we haven’t understood the layers of satire in his brilliant posts.
I don’t think I could bear it – pass the grog!
RAMen.
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PPS,
May you all be graced by his noodles. May your Parmesan never run out, and your Romano cheese stay forever be tasty.
RAmen, and a merry Pastafarimas to you all.
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This poor little TLM boy has never heard the word “no” before. He has an infantile melt-down when he hears it. He is a classless, rude little twit but he can write a sentence correctly. Therefore, he must go to one of them thar fancy schools. Certainly no U.S. teenager going to public school can write a complete sentence and not misspell words. He can write correctly, it is just a shame he doesn’t have anything worthwhile to say.
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as bizare as our belives may seem, I don’t think that were going to be forced to kill ourselvs when Haleys Comet comes around. The FSM wouldn’t want us do that.
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@Joe: I also believe that there are too many of us that do not see the reason in killing ourselves at the coming of a comet or spaceship or whatever. However I must admit that this koolaid taste rather delicious.
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“In truth I really want just one thing. As soon as Bobby Henderson publicly announces that FSM is a farce… then I’ll shut up and go away.”
The thing is, by openly admitting it as a farce, it would no longer be so, or at least no longer be a good one.
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bush is not quite Hitler.
I can respect Hitler to a certain extent, I can’t respect george W. bush, why?
george W. bush has no charisma, lacking ideas, and not *too* sharp upstairs.
If you have ever done GCSE history you’d know how hitler was evil, but brilliant – very organised and fantastic speaker, even those some of his policies were way over the top; maybe that being the same as the President himself.
Boy, I’m glad for being British; at least Tony Blair bothering to help stop the Darfurian Genocide, and how empathetic are the christians to the Genocidal Crisis in Darfur?
You tell me.
And cult, yeah, ok, I didn’t know who jim jones was before, but I’m intelligent enough to use Wikipedia, as well as write one in HTML code.
But really, I mean it’s world wide; it’s very difficult to do that sort of thing world wide.
And anyway, the book states it’s a peaceful religion very much like my former, plus I have a mind of my own, enough to see through christianity, facism…etc, and have my own Activistic views – also to carry them across.
No, I’m not going to kill myself, the only thing that will make me kill myself is to be denied existence as a FTM Transgender, who kills me…christian “faith”?
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Was Jim Jones a pirate? Of course not and that is why it was foolish to follow him.
RAmen.
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How Google Defines a Cult:
1. A religion or religious sect generally considered to be extremist or false, with its followers often living in an unconventional manner under the guidance of an authoritarian, charismatic leader.
The followers of such a religion or sect.
2. A system or community of religious worship and ritual.
3. The formal means of expressing religious reverence; religious ceremony and ritual.
4. A usually nonscientific method or regimen claimed by its originator to have exclusive or exceptional power in curing a particular disease.
5. Obsessive, especially faddish, devotion to or veneration for a person, principle, or thing.
6. The object of such devotion.
7. An exclusive group of persons sharing an esoteric, usually artistic or intellectual interest
In my honest opinion, this is less of a cult than christianity.
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Also I’d like to add that far more people have died for Christianity than for pastafarianism.
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I would just like to point out that all major religions started as cults. There are duds, but every 800 or so years we spring up a new major religion. We’re over due for a new religion, and I personally believe that FSMism is the one…
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May I make a suggestion to all of you who still don’t believe in the FSM. Buy this book. Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse
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All religions start out as cults or limited followings.
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“*Brrrrrurp* I’ll have another glass of Kool-Aid please.”
Same, lol.
You know they’re different because Jim Jones was just crazy, that’s the difference. Heh…
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@ thelaughingman
why are you using a name from GITS?
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Dear Captain Henderson,
please let me know the date of the next scheduled FSM mass suicide. My crew and me will certainly attend it with noodly pleasure! So we may also be touched by His Noodly Appendages!
Yours devoted,
Cpt. Longnoodle
P. S.: I would suggest good Jamaica Rum as the adequate poison on this occasion.
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I don’t think Bobby would have enough Kool-Aid for all of us. Also, read the site carefully; that FSM is an elaborate farce ala Stephen Colbert masquerading as a vitriolic republican is not a big secret.
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@Captain Longnoodle Mar 2nd, 2007 at 9:41 am
“please let me know the date of the next scheduled FSM mass suicide.”
.
Considering the huge increase in the number FSM Pirates over the past few months since this thread died, I agree e should definitely have another Kool Aid party to accommodate any new believers that missed the last one. :)))
.
@Yadem Hayseed Mar 28th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
“I don’t think Bobby would have enough Kool-Aid for all of us”
.
Arrghh…His Noodleyness will provide
RAmen
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TheLaughingman is just like a lot of other people who fear what they do not understand and for that he should not be punished, but to come here and mock our beliefs he should be.
RAmen
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@TheLaughingMan
You disgrace the name of the Laughing Man. I pimp-smack you. *SMACKS*
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@LOL
Indeed. However, I think it is an appropriate name. The laughing man spawned numerous lame copycats, who had no real connection to the original and were just following along to try and be cool. I think thats exactly what we have here. An impressionable, foolish person, who tries to live up to the name, but just can’t
If you understood none of that, look here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughing_Man_%28Ghost_in_the_Shell%29
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The Laughing Man on this site, is/was and always will be my hero!
Please come back TLM you are sadly missed.
No, I really mean that!
Ramen
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@ Peter – But he called me a “hippie housewife,” an event from which I have not yet fully recovered. I did buy some organic, sugarless peanut butter today… and I use citrus-sage, eco-friendly cleaner in the kitchen… AAAAhhhhhhhh!!!!! He was right! I am a hippie housewife.
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hahahaha
I just want a chance to swim in his grandparents pool,
and oh yeah. I’d love to meet his girlfriend. :)
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@ Saucy Wench – I have some of that peanut butter too! Be sure to keep it in the fridge…no preservatives! And it’s very entertaining trying to spread it when it’s cold…ah well. I also bought tofu – the pb and tofu are for some homemade protein bars. You are apparently not the only hippie housewife in the group! :))))
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Isn’t that meat his girl friend Peter.
.
That punchline was a long time coming!
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What does do?
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Now what have I done?
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I don’t know – what did you do? :D
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I was trying out some tags on this old thread to try and cause the bold fairy.
Didn’t work. I’ll ask some HTML heads what’s going on tomorrow.
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