I take it someone hasn’t actually looked at the website before having a go. He’s a bit late to be ‘the first of a long list of complaints’. I suppose this does prove that you can find stupid athiests as well.

Get a life mate. It’s a parody!

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I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry at this one.
Maybe “Hate Mail” is a misnomer. Perhaps the section should be called “People who completely miss the point”.
Just shows: being atheist doesn’t make you brainy. He probably thinks Alanis Morrisette’s ‘Ironic’ actually contains tales of irony (which, ironically, it doesn’t).
“TheLaughingMan” (without a sense of humour… now that IS ironic!)
Second thoughts, you sure this guy’s for real… shome mishtake shurely….
;o)

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Well I could write something like that if I could be bothered, just to set the cat among the pigeons, but I wouldn’t. If I was going to do a hatemail it’d be one of the stupid fundi ones. But yes it could be someone just taking the proverbial.

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‘go back to having what little lives they had in the first place.’
Could this be a reference to midgets, and what does this guy have against Italians?

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Remember, the FSM created noodles in his image, not the other way around. When you think about it, it’s perfectly logical, right? I mean, everyone likes noodles! And to say this is biased against italians… Clearly you don’t know anything about Italian culture. Their noodles are all fancy and spiced up, usually filled with exotic meats and vegetables. American spaghetti is just a buncha strings dipped in high-sugar sauce, which is pretty much what the FSM is made of. (No offence, noodly lord, everyone still loves it). If anything this site is biased against Americans, which doesn’t matter at all, considering… the Americans are slowly destroying the world and deserve a little mocking.

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The nation that gets a big 1st place blue ribbon for idiocy, goes to the US. Not only are they fat, they’re stupid as well, due to their presidents brainy idea of cutting spending on education. It’s like breeding ground for idiots. Ignorance truly is bliss. Go my brothers and sisters in his noodly devine presence. RAmen.

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Well what is the point in funding education it teaches people stupid false ideas such as evolution, which is clearly crap because then we would be related to monkeys i mean just look at the pres no resemblance to a monkey there, much better spending the money on killing all the evil towell heads terrorists.

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There is actually another religion with a bit of an Italian bias. Not as well known as FSMism of course but some of you may have heard of it. Most famous for its dodgy kiddie fiddling preachers (Priests I think they call them?)

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hey i happen to be an american, and i aint fat and stupid. but a shit load of people here are. i am one of the few americans who will get off their ass to do something. money should be spent more on education cause right now i am freezein my ass off cause our heaters wont work and we have no money to fix them. oh and rodger you’re a fuckin idiot. we need to get out of that shit cause it’g goin nowhere.

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wheres da spagetti monsta now!
hes in my belly!
i ate him
last nite fo dindin
his cheese was was stale
thogh it was gooed
fochizzle out

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a)You think you are the first? Really? You think that?
b)pun? what pun? Pastafarian? I didn’t think that was all that bad. Better than that whole “sarcastic comment… (pause) not! that fuckwits think is so hilarious, even when they’ve worn it to death. And you accuse henerson of being unoriginal.
c)”you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging” Have you ever actuality read the bible?
d)”where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history” Oh and no religious priest has ever done that! (not -fucktard)
e)”Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster” why some guy with a beard?
f)”why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?” The real question is why would he make people who have not the intellectual capacity to understand SATIRE. The other question is “How did you survive this long? Natural selection should have got you already!”
g)”I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place. If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.” WOW, that’s great advice coming from the coolest and knowledgeable man alive! (not, -just incase the modest use of sarcasm throws you) and I think you’re lying about being an atheist.
‘
Good-day!
‘
RAmen

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Don’t forget that Marco Polo is rumored to have brought the noodle from China to Italy. So, spaghetti is essentially an imitation of lo mein. This religion is NOT biased towards the Italians…it’s biased towards the Chinese.

Besides, who ever heard of the Flying Spätzle Monster? That would be just SILLY!!!!

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TheLaughingMan, while your arguments aren’t very well made, I understand your overall point that Pastafarianism seems somewhat rediculous. However, have you been on Christian websites pointing out the contradictions and misgivings of their wacky beliefs? If you havn’t, why not? You said that you’re an athiest, so you must see the stupidity of their stories of walking on water and getting eaten by whales and a flood covering the entire earth (where’d all the water come from?) and just the general idea of an omnipotent, omniscient god that can somehow only get off when some insignificant little humans pray to him in the face of a mountain of emprical evidence that he must have made for them to indicate that he does not even exist.
.
Personally, even if every single word of the bible were true, I’d never make it in the christian heaven, because I’d choose the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge every time, because I’d rather die with wisdom than live in ignorance.
.
However, if FSM is the true god, I would love the Pastafarian heaven. Beer and strippers for everyone! And what if we’re wrong, and there is no FSM? Well that’s fine because the tenants of Pastafarianism are still good in the absense of Him. There’s even no killing of disbelievers!

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@’Ghost of the Noodle’
I’m sorry if you didn’t get that i was being sarcastic, and yes our counties do need to stop their occupation of Iraq,and more money should be spent on education but because the good old republicans keep giving the rich taxbrakes snd wasting money on wars there isn’t any to spend i think the US national debt is about 8trillion dollars.

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Is it possible to hit absolute stupidity – the point at which brain cells freeze? Every sentence I think we’re getting close, but then TheLaughingMan unexpectedly manages to get even dafter. It’s like some kind of amazing performance idiocy. ‘And for my next trick, I will attempt to misunderstand…The Alphabet!’ I want to know how he does it.
.
There’s just no point in talking to someone who has made buffoonery not only an art form but a way of life. It’ll take more than a little reasoned discussion to crack through that sort of senselessness. Hopefully he’ll grow up to the point at which he can see what an astonishing loon he has been. In the meantime, just hope he doesn’t sit next to you on the bus.

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To expand slightly on Major’s post I would also say that it is more biased to the Chinese if we are going on the basis of noodles. For though there are records of the Romans making them 2000+ years ago, in 2005 a 4000 year old container containing noodles was found in NW China. Praise be to the noodlie one, it seams his beneficence knows no bounds. Ramen.

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Pirates are my friends and global warming is a direct response from the decline in their population, or at least thats what they always tell me. rock on fsm

p.s fsm is with me in magentavile getting wasted with me

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Oh My FSM. This is just hysterically funny.
“Don’t you find that a little biased towards Italians. I don’t appreciate your bias.”
This has to be a classic — not as good as assclowns and oars, but still good. And we wonder why a third of the American public are evangelicals. It is because they can’t grasp the simplest of ideas and therefore must credit every blob that goes bump in the night to the workings of a higher being.

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@TheLaughingMan
“A smart man sees the contradictions, solves the problems, and finds the answers.
A stupid man doesn’t get the joke.”

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@erik our spaghetti are not ” all fancy and spiced up, usually filled with exotic meats and vegetables”.

to properly celebrate a flying spaghetti monster consider to cook spaghetti in a more simpler fashion.

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TheLaughingMan does point out the contradiction that pirates are historicly murderers and rapist and we claim that we are peaceful. Well, its not a religion without some sort of contradiction is it? Speaking of contradictions TheLaughingMan notes Mr. Henderson’s “wildly imaginative ideas” and then says he is “not even creative”.

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I only wish Mr. Henderson posted their email addresses so that we could be sure they are reading the replies.

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Wow, this just shows what ignorance can do to a bored idiot.
-What I got out of the letter-

*mockingly* “Oh yeah! I’m going to go write an angry letter to a pasta-based religious organization and make myself feel better for not having been touched by his noodley appendage! I’ll look SO Smart!!! Oh! And I got it!!! I’ll add that I don’t believe in god so they can’t make fun of me anymore because; *sniff* I was so offended!…*sob sob sob*”

It’s just pitiful what people have to do to get a little attention, especially to be naive enough to say that because a food with an Italian name, resembles our god (and is totally delicious), that we’re biased against Italians, I’m just about full blooded Italian, I don’t feel offended at all that our dear FSM looks like a delicious plate of noodles (I should stop saying noodles I’m getting hungry). Anyway, my point being… why don’t these people just mind their own business instead of wasting their time writing stupid sounding letters.
PS- Pirates are the sexiest men alive! who cares if they raped people? FSM doesn’t! – RAmen!

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Dear Laugh,
.
You imply that Prophet Bobby chose to create The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Of course you have it completely backward; one does not choose to create a god – THE GOD CHOOSES TO REVEAL HIMSELF. The Great Noodly One in his infinite+1 wisdom has chosen to reveal himself to Prophet Bobby and for that he is blessed and His followers, such as I, are grateful (the term ‘grateful’, of course, deriving from the latin term for ‘grated cheese’).
.
Mock our religion if you may, but do not imply that it is somehow less legitimate than others. Ask yourself, as an atheist, would you have sent such a letter to the Pope? Perhaps you are not as much an atheist as you claim? The fact is we have real evidence that the Flying Spaghetti Monster not only exists but is the Creator of all on earth – we even have a graph!
.
May His Noodly Grateness choose to reveal Himself to you some day.
.
Brother Boyardee

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You’re no atheist, or else you’d recognize and appreciate the satire. And it’s not just Italians. Noodles hail from all over the world.

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@Comatose
because they… well… umm… huh. I guess I don’t know. that question reminds me of
“If a tree falls in a forest and noone is around to hear it, does itt make a noise?”
I’m about 1/3 Italian myself. took a trip there recently, actually… (sighs, remembering the multitudes of pasta. Mmmmm…)

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Did someone piss in his Penne defiling
the blessed Noodly Goodness?
.
“While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.”
.
Is that a bad thing?
.
“rape, murder, and pillaging.”
.
Do they get listed before or after adult language and brief nudity?
.
” I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.”
.
Aetheist? Is he Greek? Or is that simply his name like “Isaiah” Thomas?
I give up, I’m going for coffee and a doenut.
.
“In the long run, I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce”
.
Come on now, who likes long, runny farces?
.
” If you are going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.”
.
I thought my people had cornered the market on Romans?
There are days when I wish I’d never left the tomb.
.
“so that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves”
.
Look, a little confession here. If I could get over myself…
I’d never leave the house. *Ba-dum-bum*
Thank you and remember to tip your waitress.
I’m here in the lounge every Friday night and
do try the Pasta, it’s heavenly!
.
Peace, love and Pasta!
RAmen

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Beyond putting an X on a map, pirates generally couldn’t write very much. Didn’t need to. As a result, their history was written by land-lubbers, corporate shipping magnates who were fiddling their insurers (”honestly, the goods never arrived because the pirates took it all”) and J.M.Barrie. They got a bad press. They were actually the gypsies of their day .. romantic, free-spirited, adventurers. Splice the main-thing! Brace the yard-doodah! Keel-haul the suits! Yarrr.
>
That’s what’s missing from the lives of stiff-necked atheists and religious fundamentalists .. they’ve lost ‘romance’ and a healthy scepticism in the accuracy and impartiality of written documents.

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It’s funny how people only remember the whole rape and murder buisness with pirates and forget to mention things like the fact they didn’t treat people with a different coulour skin as subhuman.
Ramen

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@moochie
yaarrrrhhh…

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And, of course, the equal opportunities side of Pirating. You can achieve whatever you feel like, within pirating, if you REALLY put your mind to it. Heck, even TheLaughingMan could recieve employment as some form of novelty entertainment! Presenting thin-as-rice-paper arguments which are promptly ripped to shreds by the nearest 7 year old :) RAmen.

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@ fundude365
Indubitably.

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@Gnocci Man

Mmm Delicious Italian Noodley Goodness! *drools all over*

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The pirates that pillage and rape and murder obviously aren’t Pirates, you foolish laughing man. Pirates and pirates are completely different things.
And I think that someone’s missing the point!!! If the FSM wanted people like you to believe in Him, then he would have made Himself a little more obvious, but for reasons unbeknownst to me, He has hidden most of the evidence, leaving only small “nuggets” of evidence, if you will endulge me, for smart and capable minds like us Pastafarians. Therefore, we can determine that it is probable that the FSM is trying to determine who on this planet Terra is smart(me), and who is one hell of a dull crayon(you).
☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺*☺

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Where to start? Okay, 1st of all, I also am an athiest. No, pastafarian dammit, no athiest arrggg..
Okay. Listen up. It’s SATIRE. I seriously doubt anyone here REALLY believes this, but you have to act like it or the whole thing doesn’t work. Plus, it’s FUN. You obviously have no sense of humor. May his Noodly Appendage touch you.
RAmen

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You people..For one, Pasta really isn’t Italian, it is just made famous by them. It was the Chinese who made pasta and noodles. Another thing is, who’d be surpised to find out who believes this L’TUAE_42. But please guys, just stop this stupid farce and save yourselvew the trouble of typing before me and a friend( who will remain unnamed) has to restart the Spanish Inquistion and get rid of some Pastafarians(maybe a certain Aethist too). But come on, if the FSM really is good, wouldn’t he give good ol’ Doctor Zoidberg some pasta?

No Worries Mon, We be Jammin’…

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@ Pladinius- Okay, for one thing, that sentence makes no sense “Another thing is, who’d be surpised to find out who believes this L’TUAE_42″
What does that mean.
And like you could ever get rid of us. We have millions, if not thousands of converts.

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@ Paladinius
The Spanish Inquisition implies that you will be asking questions, and I really don’t think you are up to it.

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@Paladinius: Like L’TUAE_42 said there are millions of us, and spread all over the globe. An inquisition is impractical, and there is no real point. Someone will conjure another diety to replace this satire, or we will spread to more understanding religions like Buda and Norse. However I am sure there are some freaks out there that cannot distinguish the reallity from the satire.

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What harm can be done by people actually believing in the FSM. It is promoted as a non-violent religion. The only harm I can see is from some Christain claiming an inqusition or Muslim claiming Jihad.

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Damn! I was trying to be so hip, but he could see right through me! Yes, I admit it! I’m a nerd. There, I said it. I know the twenty-three helping verbs in the English language! I play Scrabble on my Palm Pilot. I change the oil in my car regularly. I floss! I even gave myself a really happening name, but it’s no use. I’m the same nerd I’ve always been. I’m so ashamed.

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@Branded
Or a group of fundamentalist FSMers breaking off to form there own militant version of Pastafaria. A armed group hell bent on disruption of the legal system in America, forceful change of school curriculum and demands for a National FSM homeland in North Dakota.

Arrrg indeed.

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y R awl thu unnbeleeveas sutch gud spellas?!
diD not vay go to skule wen them waz chilldeen?
Arrr Jim lad, avast ya blaggards and shiver me timbers, Ramen.

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I am a devout atheist, but I gotta say this guy takes the cake. It’s almost like a whole new genera of hate mail. Our religion is biased towards Italians? What? I can’t believe that this is a person who has devoted himself to logic and reason.
.
Something inside me has changed as this site has evolved [sigh]. I used to love to read the hatemails to laugh at all the religious intolerance and scientific ignorace. But I’ve become saddened as I’ve come to realize that there is a bigger issue. The biggest issue that this site has uncovered is not one of fundamental religious loonacy, nor science education, nor global warming, nor the sacredness of midgits, what the honorable prophet Hendrob has laid before us, has uncovered that our nation has an incredibly large HUMOR deficit. It honestly baffles me.
.
How many of you didn’t “get it” within the first paragraph or two of the Open Letter? How many accidentally blew a snot rocket from laughing so hard? I’ve come to terms with the Creationists, or at least their motives. Their reasons for FSM hating were hard wired at an early age. The creationists will all hate FSMism, but at least most of them still “get it”. These people who read the entire OL, completely miss the forrest because of the trees, and then start writing logic equations, all proud of themselves for “debunking” something, totally make my brain bleed.
.
Is this just their initial knee-jerk reaction? How many of them instantly send an e-mail to Bobby, then look over the site more and realize that they just completly missed the boat, and made an arse of themselves? How many read on and still don’t “get it”? I’m freaking losing it Lewis Black style here! Someone help me come to terms with this!
.
Is there no form of government regulated comedy education in this nation anymore? A little basic principles of satire?
.
I think we have uncovered what should become one of the FUNDAMENTAL SOCIAL OUTREACH PROGRAMS of our ministries. We’ve been working on pasta evangelism, religious freedom, midit and pirate civil rights, and global warming. But now……
.
I now believe it is our FSM mandated duty as Pastafarians, to unite, to rise up and fight to DEFEAT HUMOR ILLITERACY!

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@Nick the Infidel
RAmen Nick
“I am a devout atheist, but I gotta say this guy takes the cake. It’s almost like a whole new genera of hate mail…..”
.
There have been a number of posts in this language lately. I thought, maybe their masters have told them not to post here using jeesus’s name, but rather post under aetheism to try and make aetheists look bad instead. ( note the word try )
I also think that these people are taught nothing but scripture. I am sure we could find humorous passages in their holy book, but I don’t if they could. No doubt they have never before been exposed to humor. Most sad!
RAmen
ps For “ignorant post induced bleeding brain” I find sacrament sometimes helps, but only sometimes!

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In the medical profession, ‘ignorant post induced bleeding brain’ is clinically known as IPIBB.

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Isn’t it biased towards jews that Jesus was a jew? How can it be biased that italians are credited for being spaghetti followers earlier than anyone else? People really don’t think much, do they? :(

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…An “aetheist” who can’t spell the word?

“To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure ludacris” Give him a break… He might not be such a brilliant rapper, but there’s no need for this…

Go have some spaghetti like-a the mamma used to make-a.

(before anybody jumps me… I am italian. AND muslim. AND I do realise FSM applies to me too. I just happen to have a sense of humour…)

AHARRRRR!!!!!

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“ps For “ignorant post induced bleeding brain” I find sacrament sometimes helps, but only sometimes!”
.
Oh I dipped into the sacrements before even reading that shit storm. Now imagine what my rant might have been like without sacrements.

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The FSM meaterialised to me today and explained that it is logically impossible for anyone ever to kill anyone in the name of the FSM.
If you don’t know that, you need to hear that immediately from someone who does.

The FSM revealed that it has never asked anyone to kill anyone else and never will.

For the record: The FSM meaterialised at 21:37 GMT in the White Hart, Crawley UK

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Only fitting that the Flying Spaghetti Monster should materialise near EasyJet’s headquarters…

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This pun is NOT good.

This pun is good not.

This pun is good…………………………………..not!

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We didn’t choose to make it biased, it’s simply the truth! Just because the Italians got around to making pasta first, as was part of his great plan, doesn’t mean we should be jealous!

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Wow. I have nothing more to say than, “wOw”.

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Good grief…… The self proclaimed “laughingman” is nothing of the such which sort. I agree that he obviously has not read the intro to this noodlicious website and is just a nutbar mooching in on a good time here. Get a life, get a brain, get a sense of humour clodhead.

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Is the idea of a Flying Spaghetti Monster silly? Yes, but it’s no sillier than a story about an angel coming to some chick and telling her that she’s carrying the Lord’s child.

Has laughingman ever heard of Russell’s Teapot? FSM is the same basic idea, only way better due to the inclusion of pirates.

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if you were to have read our holy book you would realize that all the accusations made about pirates are 100% inaccurate…so don’t mock us until you get your facts straight

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***It’s not even creative. Way to be
original… not.***
***Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.*****************************************************************
********************************************************************************************************************************************Am I crazy, or has this high school freshman contradicted himself? Where have all the frothing maniacs gone? Did the semi-competent crispins all get airlifted to be with hey!seus? What does a self respectin’ Pastafarian have to do for a little stimulation around here? I’ve humped all the legs I can find in these pathetic hate mail entries. Yeah, it feels good, but the joy is fleeting and meaningless. Besides, my coat is getting matted. I need a sheep to lick me clean. As my three year old says, “that’s wack!”

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Alas, I rather doubt telling laughing man the futility of religion will work. After all, he’s an aethieist (whatever the hell that is; maybe he believes in a god of the aether?).
.
SO instead, let us argue against his name. TheLaughingMan: A psuedonym used by a hacker in the anime series Ghost in the Shell; Stand Alone Complex.
.
A rather nerdy character really. Bad dress sense too. Oh, and the Stand Alone Complex was nowhere near as good as the original movie.
.
Just disapointing overall.

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Bobby, what say you fix me? I proof-read and still bitched up the ‘Am I’. Too many asstricks, I reckon.

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Yeah, how did you even do that?

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Fuck me in the ass if I know. I’m just that good, I guess.

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“I now believe it is our FSM mandated duty as Pastafarians, to unite, to rise up and fight to DEFEAT HUMOR ILLITERACY!” YES!! Thank you, someone else has noticed the utter lack of humor these people have. Jeeze, if you can’t laugh every now and then what’s the point of living?

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@ Nick the infidel – I agree with your diagnosis of humor illiteracy. Luckily, some of us have been spared from this horribly socially crippling malady. We will have to lead the way. Finally, I have a mission!

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Dinnah ye bilge rats be gettin this here genius’ humour? Can ye nay kin that he styles ‘imself “The Laughingman” after that there Nipponese cartoon show with them ghosts in their shells? Well, I be explainin’ it hastily, as there’s noodles in the pot a boilin: Noodles be from the Nippons, and the “Laughing Man” were an incomprehensible, depressin scallawag (sorta a pirate himself, see?), that nobody in the Western Hemisphere could understand the motives of..
Tis simple as that, mateys.
Arrrrr-ramen

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Real atheists don’t spell it “aetheist”. Sorry, you phail.

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I thought TBS had the right Idea with their humor hotline commercials. You could call in and describe your situation, and they’d tell you how funny it is,

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Wouldn’t it be offensive to the Chinese that the Italians blatantly stole spaghetti from them and claimed it as their own? Just about as offensive as Arabic numerals actually coming from India. Please shut up.

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@Nick the Infidel Dec 4th, 2006 at 8:44 pm
‘You could call in and describe your situation, and they’d tell you how funny it is’
.
Nick, that is an excellent idea! I’d be happy to man a phone. (so to speak)
RAmen

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This is off topic, but who on earth can stop me? the three year old daughter in the bath says to me: ” I’m making my hair pretty for Johnny Cash”. Don’t ask me why she wants to do something for JC, we just listen to him during bathtime alot. I tell them that we’re listening to Alice in Chains, and the six year old daughter says she’s fixing her hair for Alice and James. What?

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It is a six year olds prerogative not to make perfect sense to an adult. Adults just never get it anyway! Ask any six year old.

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@ TheLaughingMan:
“[Y]ou guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.”

Firstly, I don’t recall that Mr. Henderson ever claimed that pirates were followers of the FSM. I think what you might be refferring to are his claims that the FSM wants us to wear pirate relagia when we teach others about our beliefs and that certain natural disasters are the results of the FSM’s anger at the dwindling pirate population. Thus, the killings perpetrated by the pirates to whom you also refferred must have been commited by the pirates not acting in accordance with the FSM’s desires. That said, pastafarianism is still not responsible for any deaths.

Secondly, if you do not find this satire amusing, I truly wonder what it is that you do laugh at “LaughingMan”.

-Avatar of Reason

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Obviously our friend here is missing a noodle, but we shouldn’t let our water boil over and waste thyme when there’s pasta to be cooked. The poor fellow will find himself sprinkled with a little cheese and left under the grill till doomsday, no doubt, and I for one am certainly hungry. Is that aloud? Excuse me, I farted.

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@Wench Nikkiee
“Nick, that is an excellent idea! I’d be happy to man a phone. (so to speak)
RAmen”
.
Why did that excite me? Anyway I don’t think that this would work for us because the person would need to recognize that the situation has the potential to be funny, and the trolls we deal with often don’t seem to even get that far.
.
We’ve got to deeper than that. I’m thinking a wallet sized fold out dichtomous key for every situation. It would start something like:
.
1. Have you just encountered a potentially opposing and offensing point of view?
Yes – Go to 2.
No – Go on with life.
2 How did the encounter offend you?
Religiously- Go to 3.
Moraly – Go to 4.
Socially – Go to 5.
Etc………
………..
A potential ending point for our brand of haters might be as follows:

36b You have likely just encountered religous satire of a political nature. Please
reconsider the encounter and move on to 50
.
50 Do you now recognize that what you encountered was humorous parody for the
purposes of lampooning the absurdity of a certain point of view?
Yes – Congratulations, have a laugh and move on with your day.
No – You seem likely to be a humorless twit. The only cure for your condition is to
lock yourself in a basement and watch every episode of “The Kids In The
Hall” ever made.
.
What do you think?

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oh, and question, if I may be so bold, was Kramer from Seinfeld a Pastafarian Prophet? I mean, he boldly imagined the pirate shirt to come in fashion. Jerry might have been laughed off of stage that time, but wasn’t Jebus laughed of the cross at some point? And, in a way, don’t we all wear the shirt now, so to speak? I’m sorry, but I was ignoring the jokeman or whatever ‘is name was or whatever a bit ago, or maybe I just have a midget attention spam.
Oops, farted.
Excrement deleted

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@Nick
What do you think?
.
Yes yes yes ……perfect!
RAmen

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Ludicrous my friend…Ludacris is a rapper

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Ludicrous my friend…Ludacris is a rapper…tsk for FSM’s sake

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I am an aetheist too

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blehh -_-

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@ Nick

Nice work on the dichotomous key!

“kids in the hall”—especially this clip!

http://brentrasmussen.com/log/node/1009

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And yo, I say verily unto thee my fellow brothers and sisters of the Sauce: Be not afraid of the unbelievers for they shall plot another course, though they choose to sail through life in perpetual darkness. For they do not see the light of His Noodly Appendage leading their way. Instead, pity them for they ignore the aroma of thy bounty and do not know of the goodness of His warmth in thy belly. And do not betray His wisdom of the Condiments for He is with us always. In the name of the Holy Parody we pray that we poor wretches be delivered from bad grammar, vicious vitriol and vulgarity. As well as those who simply don’t get it. And so, my fellow Pastafarians it befalls that our greatest weapon is to smite them with the Sacred Sword of Satire.

RAmen

MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian

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Good one MJK, I’m particularly fond of the one where Bruce appologizes to the world after he finds out that he’s the one thats been causing all this cancer.

Discovered a site called found photos, Its photos randomly downloaded from P2P sites. Randomly came across a photo of the white house with this guys thumb and forefinger below and above it, like he’s about to do the “I’m crushing your head”. Laughed for days!

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@ Nick

Hahahahaha…quality. I love the “I’m crushing your head” guy. I also like the two cops, especially the skit where the one gives the formal report on how he locked his keys in the squad car.

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Share?

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@Mad John Kidd
“And yo, I say verily unto thee my fellow brothers and sisters of the Sauce:”
Not too much permanent damage done Mad John.
RAmen

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@ Nikkiee

I’ll be alright…just a nasty headache and a sore shoulder. My truck, on the other hand….

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Ah…the FSM has His priorities right. He obviously concentrated His Noodley appendages on His loyal pastafarian and not an agnostic truck.

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Oh Mr. Henderson,
is that true what the laughing man says? I am one of your horribly nerdy followers, and when the FSM is really a farce, then I would have to get over myself and go back to
having what little lives I have in the first place.
Could you answer me quickly please, I really need your word now!

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Dammit Bobby!
.
You have to warn people about posts like that. I killed off a two dozen perfectly good brain cells reading that.
.
OEJ

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See that? Those dead brain cells resulted in my leaving and extra “a” in that last post where it didn’t belong.
.
I’ll probably go blind next! Oh, wait, that’s something else. NVM.
.
OEJ

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It is great writings (such as this from TheLaughingMan) that make me question my Pastafarianism. Oh great noodly one…give me the strength to deny such words and be strong in my belief that you are not just a farce as stated.

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who adresses a prophet as Mr. Henderson?? His name is Bobby…if oyu sent a l;etter to your “God” would you call him Mr. God?? NO!! well secondly ALL the things you know about pirates are false… it is a fact that pirates are “peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will” (The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)…and the fallacies that you were told wer lies made up by angry Christians!!!

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>you guys claim that Pirates are your
>followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
>While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
>Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.

Haha ! you missed the point there !
Pirates didn’t kill in the name of the FSM, they did it for money, and with style.

Many people would have preferred to be killed by a flashy (do you use that word in english too ? sorry, I’m a poor french sympathisant) pirate with a rusty sword on a sunny deck, than in a cave by a man in brownish robes and with hot iron.
I know I would.

Hail to the FSM !

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oh btw…in the end there, when you said we were bias towards pirates and Italians…you left out Midgets!!!

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i love the flying spaghetti monsters!

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Its not ALL Americans that are ruining the world!!!!! IT’S BUSH!!!!!!! I want peace!!!!! And i’m not fat or stupid and i agree with you 100% about our president! I’m asking you to not say all Americans…..probably 75% are fat, stupid and like Bush! And by the way…..I think you folks have a great website and it really is. . . . true!

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@ Nick
Love the fold out thing idea, the only problem is, if you write it with such good grammer, those who are most in need of it probably won’t be able to understand it… then again, watching them furrow their brows at all the strange punctuation would be a bit of a laugh.

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I’ve been wondering what K-Fed has been doing since Brit dumped him. And by the way the Chinese where doing the pasta a couple thousand years before the Italians got it.

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Sorry could resist being the 100th reply (unless I’m beaten to it, type quick goddamnit!)

Love the book, love the spaghetti monster. I have surely been touched by His loving appendages.

Happy Pasta all

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There actually is a bit of humor in the bible. You just have to look for it.
.
This particular story is in Acts. I don’t exactly remember where. Of course, my version of it is a little different than the actual version, but I swear that it really is in there. “One eventide, St. Paul the Sanctimonious Asshat preached at the people. He just kept on a preaching and preaching. The people listening yawned and looked at their watches as a hint to St. Paul to wrap it up, but St. Paul took no notice. One man, so undercome with the Word of the Lord fell asleep and fell out of a window. St. Paul ran to the street to see if the man was ok. Paul claimed that the man had died, but was restored by the power of the Lord. The guy said, ‘No, I’m fine. It was just a first story window.’ Realizing that the people didn’t seem to be buying into his pyramid scheme, Paul convinced them that the man had, in fact, died and been restored to life.”

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@TheLaughingMan
“I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist”
.
Nah, you can’t possibly be an atheist, dude. All the atheists that I know are really cool intelligent people with senses of humour and functioning sexual organs.

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Way to make salinger spin in his grave.

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“Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.”

The Great & Powerful FSM has clearly said thus:
Pirates never killed anybody IN THE NAME OF THE F.S.M.!

If Pirates killed, and I don’t know that they did since that would be so un-FSM, then they weren’t true believers of FSM since violence is not a part of the FSM religion.

Time to noodle…

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I LIKE PASTA

im an atheist, but i find it amusing that all these other religious ppl cant accept pastafariansim.

Well, that jsut proves that there is no true God, but know this, if I were to become religious, it would be Pastafarianism all the way!

Guy The Atheist

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@Cap’n Jeni Dec 5th, 2006 at 1:23 pm

There actually is a bit of humor in the bible. You just have to look for it.
.
” One man, so undercome with the Word of the Lord fell asleep and fell out of a window. St. Paul ran to the street to see if the man was ok. Paul claimed that the man had died, but was restored by the power of the Lord. The guy said, ‘No, I’m fine. It was just a first story window.’ Realizing that the people didn’t seem to be buying into his pyramid scheme, Paul convinced them that the man had, in fact, died and been restored to life.”
.
Cap’n Jeni, I’m sure I’ve heard about that little episode somewhere else. By the way, is this the same Paul, whose testimony so many point to as truth proof of the bible story?

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Sounds like a Monty Python skit!

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all i have to say is that this is so incredibly stupid you guys believe in a spaghetti creature that floats in the sky and makes pirates
WOW BRILLANT!!!!….. not
come on make it realistic
and im an aetheist and last time i checked i was a cool, intellegent person not to mention i have a sense of humor and i have a functioning sexual organ
(aussi je pense que vous etes tres parraseux)

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@Rabbit Dec 5th, 2006 at 10:31 am
“the only problem is, if you write it with such good grammer, those who are most in need of it probably won’t be able to understand it… ”
.
That’s a good point Rabbit. Maybe two versions of Nick’s key should be available: one for for literacy challenged (I’m sure there are enough examples, here on site, of the language needed for that one.) and a normal one.
RAmen

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â–ˆ â–ˆ â–ˆ â–ˆ â–ˆ â–ˆ
I’m so in that skit â–€ â–€ â–€ â–€ â–€ â–€

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Follow the paths to enlightenment:
.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Sphagetti_Monster
.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_Pink_Unicorn
.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the deity of a parody religion founded in 2005 by Oregon State University physics graduate Bobby Henderson to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution. In an open letter on his website, Henderson professes belief in a supernatural Creator that resembles spaghetti and meatballs called the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and calls for Pastafarianism to be taught in science classrooms, essentially invoking a reductio ad absurdum argument against the teaching of intelligent design.[1][2] Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) call themselves Pastafarians, a portmanteau of pasta and Rastafarian.
.
Due to its recent popularity and media exposure, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is used by atheists, such as Richard Dawkins, as a modern version of Russell’s teapot.[3]
.
RAmen…

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Wow… you guys totally have no cognitive skills. It’s like you’re all hooked on everything but Phonics. I mean really… look at the comments you guys left… “you’re not the first in a long list”. Really? I’m not? Did you stop and read it to see that it applied to the section of writing and not the entire letter itself? Good job kid. Maybe you guys should put the D&D away and find yourselves some Girl Friends. “You used …not, you’re not original” Wow kid… you sure are smart… not. Damn… every one of you is seriously set back. And yes… I know that FSM is a parody. The only thing is is that you guys don’t. FSM isn’t anything actually real, and if you think it is than you’re just a sucker and I pity you. You guys need to grow up, get out of your mother’s basements, and stop spending your Fridays indoors trying to knock my flawless letter and prove that a giant noodle exists. And as for “TheLaughingMan” it’s from Ghost in the Shell. He didn’t laugh either… just like I’m not laughing at how ignorant you all are. It’s a serious matter. To think that people like you guys are actually running around in the free world is a bit scary. All religion is dumb, it’s just a fact. The only reason we have religion is so that our ancestors could explain events that they were ignorant about. For the longest time they thought the earth was flat and that it was the center of the Universe. While ah… they were wrong, and you guys are wrong now. Your whole little story is just ludacris. Bobby Henderson needs his head examined, and you guys need lives. Get over yourselves you sad little nerds. There’s more to life than a flying noodle sac.

RAmen

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RAmen not being a very original pun either

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@CatcherChic2004 (another aetheist?)
WOW BRILLANT!!!!….. not
come on make it realistic
.
Oh you mean more realistic, umm…. like an imaginary person who sits on a throne in the clouds and is surrounded by winged flying babies with harps?
.
Spaghetti is real, pirates are real and midgets are real!

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@TheLaughingMan
“trying to knock my flawless letter’
“in fact I’m Aetheist.”
.
Are you one of those who believe religiously in “Aetheism”? What is it by the way?

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@TheLaughingMan
“It’s like you’re all hooked on everything but Phonics. I mean really… look at the comments you guys left… “you’re not the first in a long list”. Really? I’m not? Did you stop and read it to see that it applied to the section of writing and not the entire letter itself?”

The dictionary defines phonics as “a method of teaching reading and spelling based upon the phonetic interpretation of ordinary spelling”. You just tried to trump us with a point about grammar without knowing the definition of the words you chose to use. Phonics has nothing to do with the discussion. Please, learn to use the dictionary before you post.

On the other hand, I must praise you to a degree for actually having the courage to return and defend your perspective. Most people lack it. Good job.

-Avatar of Reason

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And…
“And yes… I know that FSM is a parody. The only thing is is that you guys don’t.”
.
Way to undeservedly stroke your oversized ego!
.
Where the hell are all these “Aetheists” coming from?

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Do I really have to get a girlfriend? I have a lesbian friend who was trying to hook me up with one of her friends, but I’ve been stupidly insisting that I’m heterosexual all these years. So, now I’m a basement-dwelling, lesbian, reality-challenged, D & D playing nerd, am I? The only thing I’ll confess to is being a nerd (not that there’s anything wrong with the other things.) Well, there was that one wild regatta in ‘89 when some of us wenches had a little too much Captain Morgan’s and…. well, nevermind. You wouldn’t understand.

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“You guys need to grow up, get out of your mother’s basements,….”
.
I’m grown up and my mother doesn’t have a basement!

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@J:
Congratulation on a terrific post. TheLaughingMan leaves me speechless. What an idiot! The only thing that would excuse him is being 10 years old. The sad truth is that when dealing with a troll, nothing anyone can say will make any difference. Maybe if we ignore him he’ll go away.

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@Nikkiee:
‘Well, there was that one wild regatta in ‘89 when some of us wenches had a little too much Captain Morgan’s and…. well, nevermind. You wouldn’t understand.’

I’m sure he wouldn’t understand, but some of us would like to hear the juicy details.

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How modest of you TheLaughingMan to judge your own writing as ‘flawless’.
.
If the FSM doesn’t exist then why do you have such a preoccupation of proving it?
.
Just like all the other gods, you can neither prove that they exist nor prove that they don’t exist, and while this conundrum exists, I think I’ll have mine with parmesan thank you (which–thank FSM–also exists).
.
I do agree with your suggestion about getting a girlfriend though.
.
Aaaarrrrghh me hearties!!! Oi needs me a wench!!
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Not Even Creative But Still Wildly Imaginative Ideas

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@Fr. Corpus Callosum
“some of us wenches had a little too much Captain Morgan’s and….”
.
That was that SaucyWench Fr.
I agree with Fr. Saucy. I am a very understanding type. (Well I can be… if I choose.)

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Hey… I was right… thelaughingman was from ghost in the shell. (I’m not a nerd, honest!)
.
Still, doesn’t justify acting like a tool.
.
Grow up and get a life, or at the very least go away.

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@
“Spaghetti is real, pirates are real and midgets are real!”
.
So are penquins!

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@TheLaughingMan: some people enjoy ‘one liner’ jokes. Others, especially those with imagination and a joy for the absurd, find great satisfaction in taking an idea and then going for a very long stroll with it to see where they end up. It’s the journey not the destination that’s important.
-
In the case of a really long, extended humorous joke like Pastafarianism, it’s not going to make much sense until (or if) you can get into the necessary vibe (naff term, but the best I can think of to explain it). Think ’shaggy-dog story’, think Spike Milligan, think Dave Allen. It’s ok if you don’t *get it*, really it is. It wouldn’t be anywhere near so funny if it was too accessible. Have you ever enjoyed an extended fantasy or joke with a friend or lover? One that lasts days, weeks or years? A kind of private, coded language between you? If you have, then you’re more than capable of joining in here. If you’ve no idea what I’m talking about, then .. well, you’ve got no idea what I’m talking about.

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Aye! ‘Twas me who, in the summer of ‘89 did partake too much of the ol’ Captain Morgan’s with some of me wenchy mateys! Most of the details escape me now, but I do remember someone walking the plank wearing only her birthday suit, and something about being “punished” for being a “landlubber.” It was largely because of that incident that I had to give up the drink, and become the nerdy wench you know today.

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@ TheLaughingMan: Please change your name. You’re giving a perfectly fine anime a really bad image. (Also: learn to laugh, please. It might help. And what IS an ‘aetheist’, anyway?)

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You are hurting my sales, Mr FSM!
Please knock it off! Thank you.
Could I interest you in some miracle water?

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@ Saucy Wench- NERD POWER!

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I’ve wandered around in the “registry” and played “I wonder what this is for and what happens if I change it”. However I found that game very boring. (probably because I very rarely won) Does that make me a “nerd” or is it something else?

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“Teaching reading” no no… once again you fail Avatar. Come back when you can actually read something and figure out what it means. Words aren’t just there to look nice… generally they have a meaning. What a dolt. And as for everybody who wants to see me laugh… HAHAHAHAHAHA, I laugh at all your parents and their broken condoms. If only their revenues had been higher… they might not have purchased the cheap kind.

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While you are here, TheLaughingMan, what is an “Aetheist”? Is it some sort of new religion?

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I’m sorry, UnLaughingMan, if you don’t see the irony in attacking parody with your “logic”. May your cabin boys tremble at your beckon call and serve you the finest swill on a sliver platter. Thank you so much for your marvelous insight into your world of indignity, and may your hot air forever fill your sails. May your clear conscience sleep well at night.

RAmen
MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian

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It is probably reeaallly reeeally coool huh?

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Regarding humour in the bible—

Have your never heard of the Five Constipated Men of the Bible?

Now the first constipated man, his name was Cain, he wasn’t Abel.

The second, his name was Moses, he took the tablets.

The third, his name was Soloman, he sat for forty years.

The fourth, his name was Noah, he almost filled the Ark.

And the fifth, his name was Joshua, he blew the walls down.

So. There.

MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian

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Aethiest is Athiest… just spelt the British way. It’s like Daemon is Demon. Way to be ignorant of other Cultures. I’m so glad to see Pastafarianism skips over other cultures yet you guys call me “The ignorant American”.

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American Heritage Dictionary:
phon·ics (fnks)
n. (used with a sing. verb)

1. A method of teaching elementary reading and spelling based on the phonetic interpretation of ordinary spelling.
2. Phonetics
.
pho·net·ics (f-ntks)
n. (used with a sing. verb) Abbr. phon. Linguistics

1. The branch of linguistics that deals with the sounds of speech and their production, combination, description, and representation by written symbols.
2. The system of sounds of a particular language.

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Actually America does sport some seriously ignorant people… take Bobby Henderson for instance.

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TheLaughingMan
“It’s like you’re all hooked on everything but Phonics. “

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“representation by written symbols”. Wench Nikkiee… let me put this in nerdy terms so that you can understand. I R Da 1337. U suckz0rz. U B da idi0t. And now for the real kicker… U GOTS PWNT! GG.

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Oh you mean phonetics?

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It’s annoying when you got a wanker posting at you isn’t it?

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No… I mean Phonics like the board game that teaches kids to read and understand the English Language. For a such a powerful being as an FSM… why would he make people like you who are just so damn dumb? That’s how I know he doesn’t exist. Wench Nikkiee is proof that there is no God in the world.

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@TheLaughingMan
I’m Australian. Way to be assuming and ignorant!

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Hahahaha……are we getting our knickers in a little knot there laughing man?

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Wench… is your name Bobby Henderson? Read things first before you respond please.

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Yo, Laughingman. You do realize that people here are laughing at you and not with you, right?

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@Mad John Kidd
Potty humour Mad John?
RAmen

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Yeah… I do realise that the people here are laughing at me. But it’s cool… because the normal part of the world’s population isn’t laughing at me, they’re laughing at you… and not with you.

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@TheLaughingMan Dec 5th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
Aethiest is Athiest… just spelt the British way. It’s like Daemon is Demon.
“Way to be ignorant of other Cultures.”
I’m so glad to see Pastafarianism skips over other cultures yet you guys call me “The ignorant American”
.
Suggest you read your own posts before you repond.

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Flying Spaghetti Monster… Gee, I’m sure the Muslims are just laughing their asses off. No wonder they feel the urge to blow us all up.

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@TheAngryMan
-
Sorry, no dictionaries indexed in the selected category contain the word Aetheist.
-
Perhaps you meant:
-
atheist (found in 22 dictionaries)

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No, I think that the population is laughing at you and us and not them and we. And some are laughing vicarious-ly. Pee pee.
This is Pastafarian haiku.

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Let me guess: You are a 16 year old Brit with issues. Am I close?

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No… if I had issues I’d make “haikus” that included the words pee pee.

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A fanatic Aetheist vs people playing out a religious parody…..hmm… hard choice there.
BTW We’ve had a few Muslims posting, they were having a good laugh and sent warm Pastafarian wishes to us all.
.
I’m thinking this laughingman is a fundie! When desperate, bring the Muslims into it.

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I think it’s obvious that ‘TheLaughingMan’ is a 10 year old who is using his mommy’s home computer while she’s out at work. He doesn’t laugh much either. Maybe we should call him ‘TheWhiningChild’. What do you folks think?

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Were your Muslims the ones that live in Iraq and call America the Great Devil because we sin so much?

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A Brit fundie? Oh dear. They are so few and far between. I like the American fundies so much better. Oars and homoeroticism and all that.
.
Yoohoooo, the haiku was a PARODY of your infantilism! Dickbreath!
Oh no. Was that harsh?
.
I still think he is a teenager, though. Or just a really dense adult.

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Well I’ve had my morning dose of humour. Thanks laughingboy. Must go and start building my mother a basement, after all, I don’t just want to be a pretend nerd. Also, what’s D&D? I know it’s an acronym for “Drink & Driving” over here, but I don’t think that was what was being referred to.

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To quote Nick the Infidel from an earlier post (this thread)
.
“I now believe it is our FSM mandated duty as Pastafarians, to unite, to rise up and fight to DEFEAT HUMOR ILLITERACY!”

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Dungeons and Dragons, Nikkiee. So, maybe he is an older troll. The Hooked on Phonics thing was from the 1980’s too. Hmmmm.

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Arrgh. The laughing man has a problem understanding our religious beliefs. He thinks that Pastafarianism is as stupid as all other religions… Well on that note he just might be right. Me thinks he has hit the nail on the head. Our religion is not any less “reasonable” than others, albeit ours has a much better “ending”. All should revere FSM because his heaven has beer volcanoes and stripper factories. BTW, I don’t live in my mother’s basement. I probably make more money than you do and no I don’t have a girlfriend, they get in the way of casual sex (which is not frowned upon if you are a pastafarian).

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@One Oared Marc: Nice haiku. Any haiku that ends with Pee Pee is pretty funny.

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I’m 17… and American. Way to call me a dickbreath… it was real adult of you. And Corpus, of course I’m not laughing. This place is kind of sad. It’s like the nerd’s version of a Shanty Town.

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I get the impression that UnLaughingMan has serious “hate” issues. Hating spaghetti may just be the latest addition to his “hate” list. Apparently, he was born without a sense of humour and has made it his mission in life to let us know. Maybe this is a cry for help. I for one am honoured to be chosen. Any critique of our fine sailing vessel, I accept on behalf of the crew, as a compliment of the lowest regard. Thank you for pointing out the errors of our ways, UnLaughingMan, we’ll be sure to keep that in mind. I’m. Sure. ;)

RAmen

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Point to ponder…. Let us not make fun of the teenagers…
Some of them have made a hell of alot more sense, then us growed-ups!
Ramen

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@TheLaughingMan Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
Were your Muslims the ones that live in Iraq and call America the Great Devil because we sin so much?
.
I didn’t ask!
.
@One Oared Marc Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
A Brit fundie? Oh dear.
.
I refer to the boy’s comment
“call America the Great Devil because we sin so much?”
.
???????

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@Cleopatra: Good Call. I noticed that too. Maybe he’s a Brit who can’t spell.

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Ahhh, 17. Sorry, didn’t mean to call you dickbreath. I should have called you “pee pee breath”. My bad.
.
Part of growing up is seeing the humor in adult issues. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Life is too short.

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“Yeah… I do realise that the people here are laughing at me.”
.
He spelled “realise” with an “s”. No American would do this.

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@TheLaughingMan: “Aethiest is Athiest… just spelt the British way”.
-
Since neither “Aethiest” nor “Athiest” exists in the English language (well, they didn’t until you just invented them), you are clearly having a joke at our expense, you little tease. See .. I knew all the hot air was just a jape. Time to lighten up before folk start thinking you really are an archetypal ‘oar up the arse’ Brit. Having said that, if it takes their attention away from our terrible teeth …

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Flying Spaghetti Monsters that parody the Bible and all the nonsense in it is funny… but nerds who actually try to worship it are not.

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Let this not degenerate to name calling. Arrgh, he be not of the faith, but that is all right. At least he be not of any other faith. If he spends a little time around the website we might convert him, but that won’t happen if we call him names. Understand, laughing man, you are right, our religion is as sane as all the others, and we know it.

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“I’m 17… and American.” Super. You make us teenagers look really stupid, and America needs no ‘help’ from you when it comes to its image abroad, thank you very much.
If this is such a waste of time for him, I wonder why he’s here….? (People with no sence of humor are the complete and total worst. ‘Cept for maybe fundies.)

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“terrible teeth…”

Must be a Scouser, mate.

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I don’t convert. I pervert.

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@Fr. Corpus Callosum
“Maybe he’s a Brit who can’t spell.”
-
Certainly is. The Oxford and the Cambridge dictionaries were included in that search.

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Hmm… I’m just thinking… doesn’t J spell it atheist?
.
He’s a pom. Also, from all evidence in his posts, he seems to know how to spell.
.
Then there’s Richard Dawkins. The highest profile atheist in the UK, if not the world (still living that is, Einstein would probably beat him in a popularity contest). On his own personal webpage, he uses the spelling atheist. I would think he would know how to spell it, surely?
.
I, like Nikkiee and a few other posters on this site, am Australian. One of the things we Aussies do is use the British spellings for the vast majority of our words. We happen to use athiest.
.
So, poms use atheist.
Australians use atheist.
Americans use atheist.
If I could be assed digging around, I could probably also find that Canadians, New Zealanders, South Africans and just about anyone else uses ATHEIST.
.
So, WHO THE HELL USES AETHIEST?!

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RAmen Leaper. Well said.

Let us smite them with the Sacred Sword of Satire

MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian

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Well Swabbies, I myself have an aversion to fanatics of any creed. They just go around all the time preaching their “version of everything” onto everyone. Fanatics are just wanna be control freaks!

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Oh by the way, when I typed that last post, MY POCKET PROTECTOR FELL OUT! I think that it may be damaged. I hope you are satisfied, devil-boy.

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the funniest thing is that this “TheLaughingMan” feels the need to keep coming back and replying to everybody. If you believe that we are nerds that have nothing better to do and you are not, then prove it. I challenge you to NOT reply to this, or any other post. Do it. Actually, please to reply, please. I really want to see you wasting more time on this website because you have nothing better to do. Please reply.

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‘of course I’m not laughing. This place is kind of sad. It’s like the nerd’s version of a Shanty Town’

I guess we did get his knickers in a little knot.

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@gill Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:50 pm
“People with no sence of humor are the complete and total worst”
.
“Humour Deficit Disorder”

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Thank ye Mad John. The world would be a better place if we all just had some grog and let the aethiest (Darned Canuck spelling if I ever saw it, I being a Canuck) believe what he will. After all, he’s allowed to worship that “crazy” evolution and science stuff if he wants to.
Cheers to you Mad John.

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@TheLaughingMan Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
“Flying Spaghetti Monsters that parody the Bible and all the nonsense in it is funny… but nerds who actually try to worship it are not.”
.
OK OK Look
S.A.T.I.R.E J.O.K.E. F.U.N
United in a cause against fundamentalist christian indoctrination of kids.
.
Someone else try!

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@One Oared Marc Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
“Oh by the way, when I typed that last post, MY POCKET PROTECTOR FELL OUT! I think that it may be damaged. I hope you are satisfied, devil-boy.”
.
Ah…. pocket protector! Must get some pockets so I can “wear” (is that the correct term)
one.

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Wench Nikkiee Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:54 pm

Well Swabbies, I myself have an aversion to fanatics of any creed. They just go around all the time preaching their “version of everything” onto everyone. Fanatics are just wanna be control freaks!
.
Ramen, Nikkie! I couldn’t agree more!
I’ve still got a mother in-law, God help me!
he he

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I have said seven Hail Noodles and am feeling much better.
F.E.C.K.L.E.S.S
Fundamentalist Evolutionary-Contrary Kids Living Ever Sillier Situations

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@ Nikkiee

I think you nailed it with the “Humour Deficit Disorder”. So do you see this as a chemical imbalance or yet another case of the genetically challenged problem?

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hahahaha
I’m sure FSM will oblige!

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Mad John Kidd Dec 5th, 2006 at 8:21 pm
@ Nikkiee
“I think you nailed it with the “Humour Deficit Disorder”. So do you see this as a chemical imbalance or yet another case of the genetically challenged problem?”.
.
That’s a toughy Mad John. The “Gene Guy” as they call him (the God Gene ect )
tends towards a correlation between personal disposition and genetic makeup. Since genes code an individuals physiological chemical makeup and thus blueprints for biochemical interactions, I’d have to say that one leads to the other.
Some people just always have a “glass half empty” outlook.
You just wanted me to say things like that didn’t you?

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@Gill ‘You make us teenagers look really stupid’
Actually one of the things that has impressed me about this site is how many really smart American teenagers there are. I’m very pleased to be here with all of you.

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At least the teenagers have flexible minds, aye, dare I say “noodly minds”. They are still able to bend without breaking. Unfortunately some of the elder minds are more like uncooked noodles, the only way to get them to change is to break them.

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Ooh, bring it on, baby doll.

Actually, after having sent that post, I realized that many chemical imbalances are genetically induced, so this may be more of heredity vs. enviorment problem. But I must admit that I was hoping for a little Immunoglobulin isotope switching, or something. ;)

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@Fr. Corpus Callosum
“I’m very pleased to be here with all of you.”
.
Couldn’t agree with you more Fr.. The intelligence level, as well as their expression abilities, of most of our younger pastafarian generation, (I use that in the fondest warmest way possible….as a parent would) continues to impress me no end.
.
RAmen

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@Mad John
hahahahahaha….
No doubt enviromental factors have a big influence. Still, I think it will come down to what is in your biochemical toolbox as to how you deal/react to them. I guess someone has the genetic pre-disposition to express higher levels of say, certain endorphins, than average, may generally appear happier. Others who express less,may get more uptight pretty quickly over what the average person would consider a “mole hill”.
What i’ve said is way, way over simplified! (brain is the mainframe)
Heaps of modulation/ interregulation of neurotransmitters and science still doesn’t know half of it. Much of the psych chemotherapy used works on the above kind of principles though.
RAmen

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How about this for one possible scenario of interplay between genes and environment: All things being equal the person with the lower level of endorphins is going to be more depressed. Depressed people look for ways of being happier. Most cultures are rife with religions that claim they will make you happy, so depressed people turn to religion more often than others. The same is true for environmental factors. Lots of people who have had bad things happen to them turn to religion at least temporarily. They try it out to see if it will make their life better.

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I’ve seen this strange humorlessness in fundamentalists as well. It’s so strange that it seems like a mental disorder. In two cases men who seemed to have high IQs couldn’t understand any sort of joke. It’s just weird.

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We must make some allowances for the humor challenged folk who come to this website. Maybe we should identify all comments that are intended to be funny as such. For instance: Bring in the assclowns! (This is humor.)

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Fr. Corpus Callosum Dec 5th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
“How about this for one possible scenario of interplay between genes and environment: All things being equal the person with the lower level of endorphins is going to be more depressed. Depressed people look for ways of being happier.”
.
Sounds like a pretty good hypothesis to me Fr. Probably more likely to turn to drugs/too much drink, as well. Then, when they hit rock bottom, the fundies zero in on them. The poor buggas hardly stand a chance.
RAmen

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@Fr. Corpus Callosum
“It’s so strange that it seems like a mental disorder. In two cases men who seemed to have high IQs couldn’t understand any sort of joke. It’s just weird.”
.
Feeling often has a tendency to overide intelligence. Think of some of the stupid things otherwise intelligent people have done when they are drunk.
I know when I was a (wee) bit younger, under the influence of drink and feeling invincible, I dived into a large rock in a creek. I had swam there many times before and knew exactly where that boulder was. I was just feeling great and sensibility was irrelevent at the time. Extremely lucky not to have spent the rest of my life in a wheelchair.
I won’t go into other things, otherwise intelligent, people do under the influence of other types of overwhelming emotion.

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I’ve often wondered if people like Richard Dawkins are simply on the other end of that spectrum. He doesn’t seem to have much of a sense of humour either and often takes fundi comments personally. Like he’s genetically wired that way, only without that need for the supernatural entity. Just a thought.

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I leave you guys alone for 12 hours and you just go to town! I wondered what had happened, and then I saw who showed up. All your valiant efforts to bring this heathen to the light must be commendable!
.
And I see you made a little progress! He admits that FSM is essentially funny, but still doesn’t understand why we worship here!
.
I think I know what the problem is. Some where in UnLaughingMans brain there is a blockage in his funny system. This is how I envision it:
.
As the funny enters the brain through the eyes or ears, tension builds up as a crank is turned. With enough funny the crank eventually pops a lever, hitting the swinging boot into the bucket, which falls over, releasing the mini-bowling ball to roll down the stairs, into the chute, hitting the pole, that shakes another mini bowling ball, causing it to roll off a plank and fall into the bathtub. The ball falls through a hole in the tub, landing on one end of a see-saw, this springs the diving man off the see-saw and into a barrel, thus shaking the pole and releasing the cage, the cage falls, triggering the funny centers of the brain.
.
With UnLaughingMan, the funny seems to go almost all the way, but not quite. In my opinion, his problem lies with the little diving man. Its always the little diving man. Its likely that his see-saw is out of alignment, causing the diving man to miss the bucket entirely.
.
I’m afraid the only cure is a see-sawectomy, including replacement with a state of the art digital see-saw. Its expensive, but I think in the long run, it would be worth it for UnLaughingMan.
.
Thankyou all again for your efforts to fight humor illiteracy. May your faith and convictions remain al dente!
.
RAmen

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“Its always the little diving man. Its likely that his see-saw is out of alignment, causing the diving man to miss the bucket entirely.”
.
hahahahaha…….I think you have hit the little diving man into the bucket there, Nick.
RAmen

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@Mad John Kidd
“He doesn’t seem to have much of a sense of humour either and often takes fundi comments personally.”
.
Could be a Pablovian response…….an enviromental trigger.
.
.
@SaucyWench Dec 5th, 2006 at 9:47 pm
“Maybe we should identify all comments that are intended to be funny as such. For instance: Bring in the assclowns! (This is humor.)”
.
Once again the thought of having a choice of one, of a few different sounding bells, to select to accompany each of our posts comes to mind.

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Edit:
“Could be a Pablovian response”
Ah…..I meant Pavlovian……reading lots troll posts damages my recall brain cells.

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mmm Pavlova [starts drooling] .. Russian ballerina made of meringue and cream .. sweet! A fitting dessert for a hungry pirate.

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@moochie Dec 6th, 2006 at 2:46 am
“mmm Pavlova [starts drooling]”
.
That’s the one!!! hahaha

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There is even a game: (I have the music album)
Pavlov’s Dog
Nobelprize.org
http://nobelprize.org/educational_games/medicine/pavlov/
RAmen

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Cool game. Took a couple of tries, then I’m not really a pet person, prefer wild animals.

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I liked the dogs diploma!

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@Jon E
I’m not really a pet person, prefer wild animals.
.
My girl is just part of the bush here. Never seen her kill anything, (or even want to), but a snake once (dangerous thing for a dog to do here….we’ve got a few venomous snakes in my area) and I think that was only because the snake was so close to me at the time. Most Rotties will easily loyal themslves to death without thinking too much about it. (not that I would let her if I could help it)

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Glad to say that I’ve never seen a wild poisonous snake up close where I live. Though there are adders in at least a couple of places around the city. The squadies out at one of the army barracks on the outskirt keep stepping on them when out training and get a nasty shock when they sink their fangs in.

By the way my saying I’m not a pet person is more a comment on myself than anyone else. I can see the pleasure in it. I just don’t have what it take to look after an animal. I tried when I was a kid and was rotten at it, I kept forgetting to feed the goldfish and if my mum hadn’t then, well you can guess.

I’d love to visit Oz some day, but I will admit the list of nasty spiders and snakes is a bit intimidating.

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Australia, where the only safe animals are some of the sheep.
.
Seriously though, what you really have to watch out for are dropbears. They only live in Tassie, thank FSM, but they are vicious little buggers. They’ll take a devil to pieces in no time.

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@Jingles
“you really have to watch out for are dropbears. They only live in Tassie”
.
I think there is a big white one, that lives in Queensland.

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If the unlaughingman comes back, I’ve never seen demon spelt daemon outside of ‘His Dark Maaterials’, as far as I know in Ireland we use the British spelling for english, so, he thinks that British spelling is as found in ‘His Dark Maaterials’, and we’re the nerds?

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ummmm so basically
this is freakin retarded
flying spaghetti monster?
well wat about my fat italian god
hed kick your gods ass
and then eat it
suckaaa

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wat about the nazi god
he would own the italian god
and then
he would try to take over the polish god
but the american god, the real GOD
wouldnt stand for it
he and his british counterpart would go crazy
and create little nuclear prayers
to blast the nazi
and the japanese dragon gods

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@bob you are freakin retarded.
@nathan WTF?

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It’s always nice to see an atheist who can’t spell “atheist”.

Duke

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I’m pretty sure that nathan and bob are the same delinquent fundamentalist kids. you see how they are written using the same impossible to understand empty threats. nathan comes only three minutes after bob, both of their links are simply their names, and they both use the same disconnected sentence structure. also, they appear unaware that the nazis used the same god that they talk of as being the “real” one. in fact, Hitler used many symbols from christianity for the third reich.
and if they continue to think that all Americans believe in their cracked up and overly violent deity, then they are in for a BIG surprise…
All hail the FSM
RAmen

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Firstly by stating that spaghetti is just for Italians you are being prejudice yourself. How can a food be directly linked to a group of people it can’t that’s 1 point to his holy noodly-ness. Also if you claim to be an Atheist, make sure you spell it right. As no one likes to be on a long rant and then realise they made a fool of onself, do they?
The first “I’d really rather you didn’ts” states that “If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay” so I won’t wish death upon you, just wish the next best thing, I wish you stub your toe. Oh that’s right, I went there.
May his noodly apprendag be with you always.

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“Fuck em if they can’t take a joke”
J.R. “Bob” Dobbs

“Ha ha, only serious”
-discordian tenet

you pastafarians could learn a thing or two from the subgenius and discordians who came before you.

hell read some nietzche even “we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.”

The quality of the hate mail on this site is very dissapointing, surely some of you out there can craft funnier trolls.

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@nikkiee…
“I think there is a big white one, that lives in Queensland.”
.
I love that ad :P

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Laughing Man,
As a medical professional I feel I should let you know that posting on the FSM website is in no way a substitution for taking lithium-based drugs. And from reading some of your posts, yoga, deep breathing, and counting backwards from ten isn’t going to cut it either.

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Maybe “wannabe” could take his/her own advice. Just what is it you “wannabe”? Why not just “be”?

And I find that to “joke ‘em if they can’t take a fuck” to be just as effective.

RAmen

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@ wannabe
.
You’ve brought up a valid point in that, since I’ve become a pastafarian my relationship with J. R. (Bob) Dobbs has seemed somewhat distant.
.
.
I also keep finding myself to be short on slack! Any thoughts?

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I concur. I also am a medical professional. I can recommend the therapeutic value of a number of Polonium based compounds for this gentleman too.

Long live our noodly overlord!!!!!!!!!!

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So not suggesting a hot lead overdose? I can think of a few other fun things to use. Tell them to got make themselves a nice tea from rhubarb leaves.

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Lick a toad?

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Not any poisonous toads in this country that I know of, but a hell of a lot of poisonous plants. Hemlock and deadly nightshade grow all over the place if you know what you’re looking for.

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What a joke that someone would be stupid enough to write in and say how horrible FSM is! Don’t they realise that they then become part of the show? Didn’t you think that maybe this entire site is about laughing at you? Yes you! the ID Christians!!! Personally as a student of Molecular and Cellular Biology I am appalled that a state could decide how they define science. Yes, we are distantly related to apes and monkeys. Yes you were wrong.. we are not made of clay like the bible says, We do not burn in hell when we die. In fact death has been shown to be quite pleasant if you must know. It causes a massive..and i mean MASSIVE release of endorphines. That same feeling you get when you are just finishing a massive run or if you are into it.. Heroine.
It is a fundamental misunderstanding of science to just on a whim decide that you can say that ‘God’ created the world. Science is not about stipulating what ‘may’ be. It is all about observing and being able to create a reproducable event by understanding what is right in front of you and mimicking it. By the definition of god you can never say if there is a god or not. You can’t KNOW he is there. That’s why it’s called a ‘leap’ of faith! It makes me laugh how unbelievably stupid christians are sometimes. Ironically… even though one of the ten commandments is ”You Shall not kill” it is deemed perfectly fine to kill in the name of god. More people have died by the hand of the christian church than by any other group, institution or culture ever. Not even Hitler managed quite as many as the Christian Faith. Yeah, you go burn the witch mate!

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@George Chennell, You can add a most of the ones killed by the Nazis onto the Christians numbers as well, the catholic church was happy enough to back up the Nazi regime and it was them after all that was largely responsible for the hatred of the Jews in the first place.

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Hey! I’m converted! I believe in Intelligent Design now! See?
http://edkrebs.com/herb/petoons23/wuerker2.jpg

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RAmen George
and
another RAmen for being a student of Molecular and Cellular Biology.
ps I’m quite favourably biased toward that particular discipline.

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Like it. Pity that the people it’s aimed at wouldn’t understand it.

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@SaucyWench
Works for me Saucy.

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Well the catholic church backed more than just the Nazi regieme it backed pretty much all the european fascist states. The fascists in Spain considered the civil war to be a fucking crusade. And it played a large part in proping up Mussolinis Italy.

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This is the most useless use of bandwidth I have ever had the displeasure of finding .
Nothing but asinine comments about nothing and idiots trolling the comments so they can jump someones ass about what they have to say.Listen up meat sacks ,GET A LIFE!
Pointless drivel, I truly hope no 1 is paying for this website/bandwidth.

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Yep. Now the Catholics still have power in places like South America, but in most of the rest of the world the Evangelical Fundis are trying to take their place. They’ve actually managed to make themselves more corrupt than the catholics.

Did you know that at least one of the Popes had so much respect for his role that he turn the Papal Palace into a brothel.

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@ Jon – Damn! You’re right. Well, I’ll take befuddlement of some neuronally-challenged IDers. I’ll have fun imagining them looking at the cartoon, cocking their heads to one side, and saying, “Huh?” Of course, now I sound smug. Do I hear assclowns?

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Does anyone know how many popes died while getting laid because i think it was about 13.

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@RATTL3R
Hello RATTL3R.. Goodbye RATTL3R. Thanks for your supa arrear opinion.
Drop in again sometime won’t you.
RAmen
.
Always appreciate an intelligent post from a troll!

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@RATTL3R
You are the biggest waste of oxygen this planet has ever had the misfortune of supporting, now unless you have something intelligent to say which seems highly unlikely go and play on a busy road.

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@SaucyWench
“Of course, now I sound smug. Do I hear assclowns?”
.
That’ll be Left wing assclown evilutionary conspiracists, if you don’t mind!

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@Rattl3r, oh look another idiot who just wants to give us ammunition and talk about our arses. If anyone should get a life it’s you. Go away until you actually grow a brain.

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‘jump someones ass’
.
Need I comment?

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As said before they always talk about our arses and how gay we must be. What does this tell me about fundis? They’re all so fucking repressed that they don’t want to admit that they’re just like Ted Haggard.

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Again with the homosexual references? There’s just too much sexual repression in organized religions, that is, unless your a Catholic priest or a fundie evangelist. They can apparently have all the gay sex they want. That’s MRS. Smug Assclown to any of you whom are offended by this statement!

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Bugga, I had a feeling I left out a really important word…”smug”

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@ Nikkiee, yes, the smug part really does it for me. I love the evilutionist part, too.

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Do you want a real waste of bandwith? Try this one:
http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/viewArticle.asp?articleID=17552

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@Jon E
Just trying to get my thoughts clear on all this:

• We hate “fundes”
• People who beleive in any church or God (except FSM of course)are “Fundes”
• Pope Pius XII was evil and personally was in charge of killing many people in WWII.
• The Catholics (not the Jews as previously) are secretly in control of the world.

Have I summed up our thinking? I need to have these ideas straight when I argue for the great Noodly appendages and our Nation FSM homeland in North Dakota.

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@Johnny Corvette
We done you’ve completely misquoted me on everything I’ve said.

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@ Jon, That article gave me the heebie-jeebies. Wow. It looks so legitimate, and the concepts are presented so eloquently, that it took me a few minutes to realize what was being said. Bastards.

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Oh wait I forgot. All Catholic priests are molesters and all Catholics are sexually repressed.

There. Now I feel better.

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Tried to google the writer and find out who he actually is, but all I got was him trying to promote himself in various places and no actually details on who he is or any qualifications that he may have.

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@Johnny Corvette
Actually I don’t really give a toss about the catholics, but they are a good example of exactly what is wrong with religion and the kind of attrocities that it leads to. Maybe you haven’t been reading these pages to well.

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http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i12533

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“More people have died by the hand of the christian church than by any other group, institution or culture ever. Not even Hitler managed quite as many as the Christian Faith.”

“You can add a most of the ones killed by the Nazis onto the Christians numbers as well, the catholic church was happy enough to back up the Nazi regime and it was them after all that was largely responsible for the hatred of the Jews in the first place. “

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“Tried to google the writer and find out who he actually is, but all I got was him trying to promote himself in various places and no actually details on who he is or any qualifications that he may have.”
.
Which is a good indication that he has none.
.
OEJ

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@Jon E

Just tryin’ to figue out who I should be hatin’ on today.

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Johnny Corvette, I don’t believe we officially hate fundies, or have any officially hate-based positions at all. Personally, I have no love in my heart for hypocritical Bible-thumpers or allegedly-celibate-but-molesting-altar-boys priests. I can find no affection for religion-crazed fundies who proclaim that I’m going to to to their version of Hell if I don’t believe their religion. Pastafarianism itself is gentle, tolerant and kind. Just as in Christianity, individuals within a religion can hold personal beliefs/prejudices that are not officially sanctioned by their chosen religion.

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@Sausy
I agree. Only I would stretch the point to encompass all self- righteous, intolerance people and all those who use religious or scientific ideas as a means to suppress others.
I see a lot of hate and intolerance on this website and I don’t think that is the point.
All hail his noodle-ness.

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fundies?…thats worse than saying noobs….and it’s the people killing the christians…no the other way around…and if so…then your looking at the wrong christian religion

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jeez…didn’t mean to spoil ur little conversation there…feel free to keep on talking to each other

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Thanks SaucyWench. I’m sending this (intelligent design) to all my friends. I love it!

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@James: Not everyone who beleive Christianity are good people, and those that aren’t we tend to call fundementalists. Both the fundementalists and the good people believe in the same God reguardless of the faction within Christianity they follow. Johnny Corvette and SaucyWench are only talking about that extreme group.
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More recently, after the attacks on the WTC, there has been a strong outcry against the Muslim faith. This outcry has been spearheaded by the Christian nations in the west. Fundementalists Christians have been using this outcry as a means of a modern day crusade.
.
Then there are the really f**ked up people who are Christians and hate the wars’ attempts at recovering world peace. These are the same fantatics that desicrate the graves of soldiers fallen in Iraq and say that God hates the US. And they claim to be citizens of this nation?

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“…scientific ideas as a means to suppress others.” Now there is something that I can’t think of a single example to support. Johnny Corvette, you have made the same point umpteen times. WE GET IT. We are all hate-mongering intolerant Christian-bashers. Hmmm, come to think of it, what is your point? Are you making a statement against sweeping generalizations? Or are you just a too serious, humorless left-wing assclown?

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@Branded

Modern day Crusades? Oooo I felt the pang of white mans guilt. Without turning this into a big discussion on the war in Iraq can you site any examples of a “Crusade”.

Also can you site any examples people desecrating US solders gave sites in the name of Jesus? Sounds more like anti-war nutters saying they are Christian.

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Mmm, took me less time to convert to Patafarianism than to read the last 3 days of thread. A thread mighty to be from of His apendages.

Anyone needs me, I’m researching the Volcano of Beer – the beer anyway, can’t seem to locate the strippers nor buxon wenches alas…

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@One eyed
I don’t believe Christianity is an evil empire
I don’t believe the Jews did it (what ever it is today)
I don’t believe all Muslims want to kill me (only some)
I don’t believe being atheist makes me smarter than anybody else (me being smarter than everybody else does).
I don’t believe being an atheist gives me the moral high ground.

Religious organizations are fairly well suppressed in many countries. That is not science I guess – just “evolved thinking”. To say that someone who believes in a higher power is dumb and doesn’t have a valid point to make because of what I saw in the museum of natural history is using science to suppress their ideas.
I suppose we should stick to just worshiping his noodly greatness and bashing all other organized religion.

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@Johnny Corvette: I did not say that the war on terror is a bad thing. I actually think we should fight to rebuild Iraq and the Middle East into a successful democracy. What I was trying to illistrate is that the fundementalists within the Christian faith are supporting is for the wrong reasons. You may be right about the lunatics saying they are Christian, but here. http://www.godhatesamerica.com/

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I have no idea what you are talking about. I think you have missed the point of about 99% of this website.

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OK, so I know this is not a political page, though President bush probably wants people to worship him, but the US has to be the most careless, stubborn, vain country in the world, I mean what was that with the kyoto protocol?

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@ One eyed
I only missed 20% of the point – I estimate 30 % of the people here are looking for serious debate about what should and should not be taught to our children.. 30% are looking to praise his Noodly goodness. 20% just trying to understand how the atheist community thinks. Leaving 20% who just hate religion and think anyone who believes in God is stupid and that the Vatican is evil and the Jews did it and bla bla bla…
@ Branded
Wow that is quite a group the WBC. I can total get someone being anti-war from a “thou shall not kill” religious stand point but these guys are just self-righteous hater.

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@SaucyWench: “That article gave me the heebie-jeebies. Wow. It looks so legitimate, and the concepts are presented so eloquently, that it took me a few minutes to realize what was being said. Bastards.”
-
Yeah .. did you spot the clever trick in the middle of the article? It’s in the last sentence of the paragraph copied below:-

“Davison points out that a theory “is an hypothesis which, having been tested, has achieved a degree of support, thereby enabling it to make certain predictions.” However in Darwin’s model allegedly nature selects random changes in genetic composition resulting from assumed undirected mutations. So Darwin’s brainchild clearly cannot be tested because if the evolutionary mechanism he proposed is without purpose, its result cannot be predicted.”
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And from that pathetic sleight of hand, the author proceeds to claim that natural selection is necessarily “supernatural”, and that Darwin’s theory is effectively a conjuring trick. Bit bloody rich, if you ask me. And strange too, since the article starts by considering the problem of increasing genetic information, which is the one area science currently really does have difficulty accounting for.
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nb. For anyone interested in the above, but can’t see the ‘trick’, it’s the “..without purpose..” bit. Since it’s cool to work things out for yourself, think of an experiment you could carry out at home, where it’s possible to make a reasonable prediction of the outcome. Now ask yourself where ‘purpose’ plays any part in the experiment, or your ability to predict the result (even if your prediction is wrong).

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@JackBNim
Yes we should have signed the kyoto protocol and then promptly ignored it like everyone else.

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@Johnny Corvette
“I suppose we should stick to just worshiping his noodly greatness and bashing all other organized religion.”
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Please don’t speak for me when you say “we” and please stop telling everyone at the CoFSM how they should think and act. It’s annoying. Thank You.

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@Johnny Corvette. Ah, good. The FSM Church needs a nanny. Do you carry a big, heavy, knuckle-knocking ruler? ☺

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@Wendy – I didn’t realize I was telling people how to think and act.

@ One eyed – I can fly in the air with an umbrella.

Just seem like people who are all upset about other people being intolerance shouldn’t be intolerant.

Maybe it’s just the beer talkin’ arrrg.

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I’m going on the tone of all of your posts, I’ve read over the past few weeks!
BTW
The one thing tolerance cannot tolerate, is intolerance.
I don’t go to christian church sites bashing their religion, so if those with other belief systems come to my chosen religion’s site, bashing mine, I’m am only as tolerant as I choose to be.

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You realize, of course Johnny, that we cannot pay you much. Just a spoonful of sugar. If this is okay, then you can help with the raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. But not a lot more.

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I think Mr. TheLaughingMan needs to take a step back and take a long look at the Church of Scientology.

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Pirates never killed anyone in the name of FSM. They did it for their own amusement. FSM merely put the midjet on the planet, who evolved into Pirates, who evolved into us today.

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RAmen Jebus
hmm…..you remind of a song which goes ‘Jebus Creebus where’d you get those sneakus’ (well I think it say sneakers)
.
Bugga…have to put some music on to get that one out of my head now!

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No no…..I distinctly remember it says ‘where you get dem sneekuz’

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Sounds sort of like the Jeepers Creepers song…
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“Jeepers Creepers, where’d you get those peepers…”

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James—”jeez…didn’t mean to spoil ur little conversation there…feel free to keep on talking to each other”

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Well thank you James, I’m so glad that we have your permission.

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@ Jingles

I’m with you on the “peepers”. I’m not sure of the original song but it was used in a commercial for sunglasses.

RAmen

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I just remember it from that really dodgy horror movie that went aaround a while back.
.
Sequel was unintentionally ( I think) hilarious.

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Jingles Dec 7th, 2006 at 11:42 pm
Sounds sort of like the Jeepers Creepers song…
.“Jeepers Creepers, where’d you get those peepers…”
.
You are absolutely right Jingles. I think we may have said the sneakers thing to one of the kids once (10yo fashion follower if I remember) and that bit was still in my head.
RAmen

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Strange name came up on my post?

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@ Nikkiee

Gremlins on the keyboard?

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Might have been that Bourbon.
Hey, I went shopping yesterday (at couple different shopping centres……having saved heaps of money, without even trying, since becoming a practicing Pastafarian :) :)
and did not hear one xmas carol!

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Sadly, the Xmas carols began here the week of Thanks Giving. I’m sick of it already. Can hardly wait ’til the Boxing Day footie matches! There’s a local just down road that broadcasts plenty of them starting early, around 6 am.

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Those are still a little way off yet.

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I know but I’m still anxious! My side just made the final sixteen in the Champions League this week and sit at the top o’ the Prem, so I’m ready for the Boxing Day fixtures! Now!

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Johnny Corvette,
.
Just to clarify, you’ve been talking with One Oared Marc, not me.
.
OEJ

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LMFAO
You people are hilarious.
You don’t believe in anything,so you hate those that do?
And someone creates a goddamn flying wad of spaghetti to worship!
Trying to see the atheistic connection between the 2 .
You folks must have dropped a lot of x or acid to come up with this one.

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Aethist eh? Google just told me “Did you mean: oxford dictionary atheist?” at that one. Oh wait a minute, that’s right, Atheist has a Greek root a- (which is never ae) and theos. Daemon, of course, is a Latin word, and ae is a classic Latin diphthong.

This guy is a classic example of unintelligent design, and further undeniable proof that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a crafty being…

And so what if Pirates killed people. If they did, it was because they deserved it, or the Spaghetti Monster would never have allowed it. We just have to take it on faith that His Tasty Goodness reads the livers of all men, and if he deems them lily for reasons history never records, we have to accept that. If a few dead merchants and tiger hunters get marauded, it’s perhaps small price to pay for the preservation of the polar ice caps all these years…

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I dropped X, LSD, and THC, and have a much simpler alphabet these days.

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@ A Theist – Mushrooms are good to make sense of some of the posts!
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@RATTL3R – we are funny aren’t we?
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You dare to question the existence of the FSM?
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Look into the sky. Do you see that big shiny hot thing? You might call it the sun.
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That is the Flying Spaghetti Monster lighting his farts. You have to respect that?
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I’ve dropped a hell of a lot of acid. It burns. Oh, what’s x? or are just sending us a kiss?

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You are the most retarded aetheist ever. Why don’t you read the point of this website before you start
a) wasting your time bitching at other people wasting their time
b) calling the almighty FSM biased towards Italians.

We are his chosen people, and we demand some level of respect from you godless monsters.

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For “TheLaughingMan” you really don’t know how to laugh.

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@Rattl3r:
“You don’t believe in anything”
> Actually, our disbelief is rather specific, as even a cursory examination of this site should reveal.
“so you hate those that do?”
> Not hate, just the occasional touch of e_asperation at superstitious infatuation. Oh sorry, I appear to have dropped an X.
“And someone creates a goddamn flying wad of spaghetti to worship!
Trying to see the atheistic connection between the 2″
> Try harder. The somewhat unorthodo_ nature of our creator’s countenance may strike you as somewhat unusual .. ask yourself why he revealed himself to us in this guise. [hint: it has nothing to do with narcotics, but may be connected with unhallucinogenics].

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i actually feel sorry for the laughing man. being such a profoundly wrong, stuck up atheist. He has some serious issues. Lets not take life to seriously, none of us are getting out alive.

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I didn’t read everyone’s posts so forgive me if anyone’s already pointed this out… but Spaghetti is NOT necessarily Italian.. the noodles originated in China… I thought EVEYONE knew that by now… and the history of Pirates was rewritten after they were mostly extinct (having been killed off by the Hari Krishnas)! The modern Pirate tales are nothing but christian propaganda because the other religions were so jealous of the Pirate lifestyle. Read your Gospel.

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@moochie
I’m with your ‘x’ embargo! I think Pastafarians should drop ‘x’ s. They are not very Noodley at all!

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One point…
Pasta was not invented by Italians. Just the same as the Swastika was not invented by Austrians/Germans. Both Pasta & the Swastika have great meaning!! PS: Before you send hate mail to me the Swastika was misused by Nazi Germany and predates the Third Reich by millenia and has nothing to do with the Aryan race.

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And this is why the world sucks.

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Yeah, I read somewhere that the swastika is an ancient symbol for the sun or something. Someone please correct me if I am wrong

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@RATTL3R Dec 8th, 2006 at 10:11 am
“LMFAO You people are hilarious. You don’t believe in anything,so you hate those that do?
‘
I for one don’t ‘do’ hate. Requires too much energy. Secondly, we believe in the one and only true God and Creator, His Noodleyness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I could say nasty things, and ridicule what you believe in too. But as I said I don’t do hate. I’ll leave that to those who don’t like to have any competition to their own religion businesses.
RAmen

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I think I might have had enough of this now.
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There are just too many imbecilic fools who completely miss the point of this site – or who just don’t bother to read before attacking, or (like TLM) who just grind the joke down through constant, childish, numbing pedantry.
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Against willful idiocy of this level, on this scale, how can we *ever* hope for a rational future for mankind?
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The fundamentalists are easily disposed of – they’re insane, and can’t properly function in the world. The others – the deliberately ignorant, the otherwise-intelligent-wiseasses, the give-terrorism-a-chance-moderates – fuck you all. It’s YOU guys, NOT the fundies, who’re sending us all to hell in a handcart. Fuck you, you ignorant, apathetic, wasteful fucking cattle.

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What about the “x” in the skull and bones.

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i just want to state that believing in fsm is just as farfetched as believing that we were all created by a mercifull god who if we dont act exactly how he wants us to he sends us to burn eternaly in hell. but he still loves you. laughing man… just to be blunt… your a faggot

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Whats wrong with this religion? It covers every angle =) I bet He is forgiving and almighty! ;-)

Its weird to see people taking this so serious they barely cant control their emotions when posting.. hahaha =)

Let people belive what they want but dont make it an issue for the school handle. If you want your children to learn other stuff than scientific facts – do it at home! =)

Peace ya’all!

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@ Davey – I love how it takes all kinds. I appreciate what you said and the way you said it just as much as the kinder, gentler approach. Inside, I’m often thinking along similar lines as you. You said it so well. If it weren’t for the fact that my children know about this site, and know who I am, I’d express my creativity similarly. I have to set an example for the next generation of Pastafarians I’m trying to raise.

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@ Davey. I know how you feel.
“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Breakfast just isn’t the same (7.30am here) anymore, without being told I’m a faggot who’s going to hell after being kicked up the ass by mary and then having oars inserted.
I’ll going have to resort to telling my dog about past exploits, while we are sitting on the beach disscussing Life, the Universe and Everything. I hope she doesn’t ever get on the net and find this site. I’ve told her Pastafarian Heaven is full of T-bones and piratey male dogs.
RAmen

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@ Saucy Wench- you could always choose a different name for just that post. It’s great way to vent anger.
I actually wonder if that’s not what some people do, just to give themselves support. I agree with davey though, I’m getting pretty sick of this. Humanity seems to be headed just a little bit in the wrong direction, and i get deppressed if i think about it too long. No wonder so many people comfort themselves with the idea of heaven.

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Sigh, Italians are not better than anyone else, they have simply evolved to the point where they realize truth in noodley goodness. One day you can too. Twirl, eat, be happy, thats all you have to do. RAmen

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I’m italian, and i tell you all : “watch out from overcooked spaghetti!!!!!” :D

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I love uncooked spaghetti. Its the uncooked meatballs that you need to watch out for.

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Ha Ha Ha, Dipshits make me laugh. He clearly rewrote history to say that noodles come from China.

Now I have a question for Mr. Henderson. Does eating noodle get me closer to Him. Does Rammen count? Lastly what should I do every religious holiday(fridays)?

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How many followers are there? Does anyone know?

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@Insaneantics.tk
‘Lastly what should I do every religious holiday(fridays)?’
Ans. Drink beer and eat noodles/pasta (preferably while dressed as a pirate)
.
“How many followers are there? Does anyone know?”
Ans. Too many to count.
RAmen

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Millions, if not thousands^_^

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@L’TUAE_42: Wow millions, imagine all that beer being consumed. Imagine all that pasta being consumed. Imagine all the people living for today. I need to get some stoc