Dear Mr. Henderson,
I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism. Â I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative. Â Way to be
original… not. Â Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging. Â This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris. Â Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster? Â Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians. Â I don’t appreciate your bias. Â If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe. Â Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through. Â I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours. Â If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist. Â My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth? Â In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place. Â If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
I know but I’m still anxious! My side just made the final sixteen in the Champions League this week and sit at the top o’ the Prem, so I’m ready for the Boxing Day fixtures! Now!
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Johnny Corvette,
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Just to clarify, you’ve been talking with One Oared Marc, not me.
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OEJ
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LMFAO
You people are hilarious.
You don’t believe in anything,so you hate those that do?
And someone creates a goddamn flying wad of spaghetti to worship!
Trying to see the atheistic connection between the 2 .
You folks must have dropped a lot of x or acid to come up with this one.
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Aethist eh? Google just told me “Did you mean: oxford dictionary atheist?” at that one. Oh wait a minute, that’s right, Atheist has a Greek root a- (which is never ae) and theos. Daemon, of course, is a Latin word, and ae is a classic Latin diphthong.
This guy is a classic example of unintelligent design, and further undeniable proof that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a crafty being…
And so what if Pirates killed people. If they did, it was because they deserved it, or the Spaghetti Monster would never have allowed it. We just have to take it on faith that His Tasty Goodness reads the livers of all men, and if he deems them lily for reasons history never records, we have to accept that. If a few dead merchants and tiger hunters get marauded, it’s perhaps small price to pay for the preservation of the polar ice caps all these years…
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I dropped X, LSD, and THC, and have a much simpler alphabet these days.
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@ A Theist – Mushrooms are good to make sense of some of the posts!
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@RATTL3R – we are funny aren’t we?
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You dare to question the existence of the FSM?
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Look into the sky. Do you see that big shiny hot thing? You might call it the sun.
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That is the Flying Spaghetti Monster lighting his farts. You have to respect that?
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I’ve dropped a hell of a lot of acid. It burns. Oh, what’s x? or are just sending us a kiss?
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You are the most retarded aetheist ever. Why don’t you read the point of this website before you start
a) wasting your time bitching at other people wasting their time
b) calling the almighty FSM biased towards Italians.
We are his chosen people, and we demand some level of respect from you godless monsters.
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For “TheLaughingMan” you really don’t know how to laugh.
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@Rattl3r:
“You don’t believe in anything”
> Actually, our disbelief is rather specific, as even a cursory examination of this site should reveal.
“so you hate those that do?”
> Not hate, just the occasional touch of e_asperation at superstitious infatuation. Oh sorry, I appear to have dropped an X.
“And someone creates a goddamn flying wad of spaghetti to worship!
Trying to see the atheistic connection between the 2″
> Try harder. The somewhat unorthodo_ nature of our creator’s countenance may strike you as somewhat unusual .. ask yourself why he revealed himself to us in this guise. [hint: it has nothing to do with narcotics, but may be connected with unhallucinogenics].
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i actually feel sorry for the laughing man. being such a profoundly wrong, stuck up atheist. He has some serious issues. Lets not take life to seriously, none of us are getting out alive.
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I didn’t read everyone’s posts so forgive me if anyone’s already pointed this out… but Spaghetti is NOT necessarily Italian.. the noodles originated in China… I thought EVEYONE knew that by now… and the history of Pirates was rewritten after they were mostly extinct (having been killed off by the Hari Krishnas)! The modern Pirate tales are nothing but christian propaganda because the other religions were so jealous of the Pirate lifestyle. Read your Gospel.
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@moochie
I’m with your ‘x’ embargo! I think Pastafarians should drop ‘x’ s. They are not very Noodley at all!
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One point…
Pasta was not invented by Italians. Just the same as the Swastika was not invented by Austrians/Germans. Both Pasta & the Swastika have great meaning!! PS: Before you send hate mail to me the Swastika was misused by Nazi Germany and predates the Third Reich by millenia and has nothing to do with the Aryan race.
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And this is why the world sucks.
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Yeah, I read somewhere that the swastika is an ancient symbol for the sun or something. Someone please correct me if I am wrong
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@RATTL3R Dec 8th, 2006 at 10:11 am
“LMFAO You people are hilarious. You don’t believe in anything,so you hate those that do?
‘
I for one don’t ‘do’ hate. Requires too much energy. Secondly, we believe in the one and only true God and Creator, His Noodleyness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I could say nasty things, and ridicule what you believe in too. But as I said I don’t do hate. I’ll leave that to those who don’t like to have any competition to their own religion businesses.
RAmen
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I think I might have had enough of this now.
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There are just too many imbecilic fools who completely miss the point of this site – or who just don’t bother to read before attacking, or (like TLM) who just grind the joke down through constant, childish, numbing pedantry.
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Against willful idiocy of this level, on this scale, how can we *ever* hope for a rational future for mankind?
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The fundamentalists are easily disposed of – they’re insane, and can’t properly function in the world. The others – the deliberately ignorant, the otherwise-intelligent-wiseasses, the give-terrorism-a-chance-moderates – fuck you all. It’s YOU guys, NOT the fundies, who’re sending us all to hell in a handcart. Fuck you, you ignorant, apathetic, wasteful fucking cattle.
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What about the “x” in the skull and bones.
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i just want to state that believing in fsm is just as farfetched as believing that we were all created by a mercifull god who if we dont act exactly how he wants us to he sends us to burn eternaly in hell. but he still loves you. laughing man… just to be blunt… your a faggot
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Whats wrong with this religion? It covers every angle =) I bet He is forgiving and almighty! ;-)
Its weird to see people taking this so serious they barely cant control their emotions when posting.. hahaha =)
Let people belive what they want but dont make it an issue for the school handle. If you want your children to learn other stuff than scientific facts – do it at home! =)
Peace ya’all!
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@ Davey – I love how it takes all kinds. I appreciate what you said and the way you said it just as much as the kinder, gentler approach. Inside, I’m often thinking along similar lines as you. You said it so well. If it weren’t for the fact that my children know about this site, and know who I am, I’d express my creativity similarly. I have to set an example for the next generation of Pastafarians I’m trying to raise.
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@ Davey. I know how you feel.
“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Breakfast just isn’t the same (7.30am here) anymore, without being told I’m a faggot who’s going to hell after being kicked up the ass by mary and then having oars inserted.
I’ll going have to resort to telling my dog about past exploits, while we are sitting on the beach disscussing Life, the Universe and Everything. I hope she doesn’t ever get on the net and find this site. I’ve told her Pastafarian Heaven is full of T-bones and piratey male dogs.
RAmen
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@ Saucy Wench- you could always choose a different name for just that post. It’s great way to vent anger.
I actually wonder if that’s not what some people do, just to give themselves support. I agree with davey though, I’m getting pretty sick of this. Humanity seems to be headed just a little bit in the wrong direction, and i get deppressed if i think about it too long. No wonder so many people comfort themselves with the idea of heaven.
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Sigh, Italians are not better than anyone else, they have simply evolved to the point where they realize truth in noodley goodness. One day you can too. Twirl, eat, be happy, thats all you have to do. RAmen
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I’m italian, and i tell you all : “watch out from overcooked spaghetti!!!!!” :D
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I love uncooked spaghetti. Its the uncooked meatballs that you need to watch out for.
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Ha Ha Ha, Dipshits make me laugh. He clearly rewrote history to say that noodles come from China.
Now I have a question for Mr. Henderson. Does eating noodle get me closer to Him. Does Rammen count? Lastly what should I do every religious holiday(fridays)?
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How many followers are there? Does anyone know?
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@Insaneantics.tk
‘Lastly what should I do every religious holiday(fridays)?’
Ans. Drink beer and eat noodles/pasta (preferably while dressed as a pirate)
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“How many followers are there? Does anyone know?”
Ans. Too many to count.
RAmen
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Millions, if not thousands^_^
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@L’TUAE_42: Wow millions, imagine all that beer being consumed. Imagine all that pasta being consumed. Imagine all the people living for today. I need to get some stock in Olive Garden and Budwiser.
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We all do, for those stocks shall surely rise with our numbers.☻
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@Branded Cow
Beer, pasta, and carpe diem… I’m all for it.
Budweiser on the other hand… I think that the FSM has better taste than that. I definitely see a microbrew volcano in our future – a different variety for everyone!
RAmen
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ahahah I love FSM… Its the most amazing thing ever, especially when people actually get angry ahahahaha they are the true idiots. if anyone thinks this religion is a joke compare it to most popular religions haha about the sameeeeeee fgggggttttttttzzzzzzzzzzzz!
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Pure envy, he can´t stand the idea of not been choseen by HIM, instead of the prophet.
Blessings from a pastafari from Panama. Ramen.
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2 words-
Stripper Factory. Isn’t that what it’s all really about?
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One words BEER!
Where are all the fundies?!?!?!?!
Must have Fundies!!!
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Blaspheme not His noodle. Oh why are we so persecuted? Someone needs to write a Pastific Apocalypse…
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@ FSM4Skools
Persecution is a test for all of us true believers. There is no pasta poxyclypse. It is merely a myth perpetuated by the fundies to scare us into relenquishing our faith in the Great Noodly Master. Like the rays of light passing through us from the sun, there was an original source and life sprang forth from there and will continue to shine indefinitely. His Noodliness is that source and we should praise the touch of His Noodly Appendage. But that’s just my theory.
RAmen
MJK
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I guess I never considered myself horribly nerdy, or biased againt Italians. BUT, I’ll give it a try…”hey LADY, Your son the mobster just caused me lots of pain and hurt with the bone breaking and ice picking and the stab, stab, stabbing! Oh, I wish I had a LADY to touch and love, and feel, oh the feeling….
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ROFL @ THIS RETARD. This guy can’t even spell Atheist. Fucking moron. I have no respect for people who try to condescend people and then can’t spell something right that’s OBVIOUSLY a big part of this argument. I would just.. probably stop breathing for a couple hours, see what happens, I dunno. Thanks TheLaughingMan, but no.
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I may be wrong following a different god that is great sprinkled on the flying spaghetti monster, but didn’t spaghetti or a form close to it first appear in Chinese culture (maybe the chinese dragon is really a holy noodly apendage)
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Absolutely!
I come from England, and we only got potatoes a couple of hundred years ago, but I don’t think anyone is trying to say they didn’t exist before then – unless they evloved really quick! ;)
(And yes, I do know spaghetti doesn’t grow on trees!)
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Evolved – bugger!
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This only bothers you cause you are an evil person and should beg for mercy. ramen
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what a fucking idiot. how dare he say this, this is all so outraging to me. why not believe in a flying mass of cooked spaghetti, its logic directly parallels that of every other established religeon, THUS ITS CREATION!. the pastafarian is a complete and udder smack in the face to main stream. i think its beautiful. this man cannot pump his lil pink mass of cells in his skull fast enough to get it. all of these people who believe can see the connections. this man sees a bunch of idots blaspheming his established beliefs. he really sees the great pasta as a threat. and that is the best part. the flying pasta monster is so ludacris that it should snap eyes open at the clear ludacrisy of christianity. i liken christianity to this; a bunch of people who can’t see the forest through all of the trees…” christianity is real, marry the virgin, blessed with child, phrophesied for years, miracles, heaven, “faith”, water to wine, resurection,….and countless other miraculous glitter,” when i hear that, i can turn around and say then, IF that is real THEN a , “spaghetti tentacled, intangable, hugeeyed, all knowing, giant clump of pasta.” could have as much factual basis to pump my faith and money into… this man is a morron.
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I believe
RA men
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this whole concept is hilarious to me. i however need one of you loyal pasta followers to fill me in on the point of all this. why create this religion? for what purpose. not hate, just pure curiosity. one more thing. i am a devote follower of jesus. call me a christian, but that term is thrown around more now days than that tape of paris hilton getting it on. just a word to the other “christians” who feel the need to argue their points on this page: your making jesus look like an arrogant prick. christ came here to love, not argue. he came to love so much that he would die so that we may be made perfect. thats all. so, some answers would be nice.
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The religion was revealed to the Prophet Bobby after he encountered the evil, sneaky and underhanded attempt to teach Intelligent Design in the science classes of Kansas schools.
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So, to fight off these crazy people, he sent the mighty open letter, which can be found through the links at the top.
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It basically said that if you wish to teach intelligent design as a theory, you should devote equal time to pastafarianism, as that has just as much corroborating evidence, as well as a graph and a drawing to tie-break.
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It is here that one of the great misconceptions of our faith arose, that this is a satirical religion. Nothing could be further from the truth. The great FSM created a midgit, some trees, and even a mountain in the beginning, and gravity is really just his noodely appendages holding us to the planet’s surface.
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I hope that you may be blessed by his starchiness, he who is both alfredo and marinara, and yet neither.
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May you find warmth in the sacrament of his noodles,
RAmen.
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