FSM is a horrible idea

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,
TheLaughingMan

547 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

Pages: « 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 » Show All

  1. 151 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    @TheLaughingMan Dec 5th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
    Aethiest is Athiest… just spelt the British way. It’s like Daemon is Demon.
    “Way to be ignorant of other Cultures.”
    I’m so glad to see Pastafarianism skips over other cultures yet you guys call me “The ignorant American”
    .
    Suggest you read your own posts before you repond.

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  2. 152 - TheLaughingMan - Dec 5th, 2006

    Flying Spaghetti Monster… Gee, I’m sure the Muslims are just laughing their asses off. No wonder they feel the urge to blow us all up.

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  3. 153 - Coleoptera - Dec 5th, 2006

    @TheAngryMan
    -
    Sorry, no dictionaries indexed in the selected category contain the word Aetheist.
    -
    Perhaps you meant:
    -
    atheist (found in 22 dictionaries)

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  4. 154 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    No, I think that the population is laughing at you and us and not them and we. And some are laughing vicarious-ly. Pee pee.
    This is Pastafarian haiku.

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  5. 155 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    Let me guess: You are a 16 year old Brit with issues. Am I close?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  6. 156 - TheLaughingMan - Dec 5th, 2006

    No… if I had issues I’d make “haikus” that included the words pee pee.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  7. 157 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    A fanatic Aetheist vs people playing out a religious parody…..hmm… hard choice there.
    BTW We’ve had a few Muslims posting, they were having a good laugh and sent warm Pastafarian wishes to us all.
    .
    I’m thinking this laughingman is a fundie! When desperate, bring the Muslims into it.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  8. 158 - Fr. Corpus Callosum - Dec 5th, 2006

    I think it’s obvious that ‘TheLaughingMan’ is a 10 year old who is using his mommy’s home computer while she’s out at work. He doesn’t laugh much either. Maybe we should call him ‘TheWhiningChild’. What do you folks think?

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  9. 159 - TheLaughingMan - Dec 5th, 2006

    Were your Muslims the ones that live in Iraq and call America the Great Devil because we sin so much?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  10. 160 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    A Brit fundie? Oh dear. They are so few and far between. I like the American fundies so much better. Oars and homoeroticism and all that.
    .
    Yoohoooo, the haiku was a PARODY of your infantilism! Dickbreath!
    Oh no. Was that harsh?
    .
    I still think he is a teenager, though. Or just a really dense adult.

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  11. 161 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    Well I’ve had my morning dose of humour. Thanks laughingboy. Must go and start building my mother a basement, after all, I don’t just want to be a pretend nerd. Also, what’s D&D? I know it’s an acronym for “Drink & Driving” over here, but I don’t think that was what was being referred to.

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  12. 162 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    To quote Nick the Infidel from an earlier post (this thread)
    .
    “I now believe it is our FSM mandated duty as Pastafarians, to unite, to rise up and fight to DEFEAT HUMOR ILLITERACY!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  13. 163 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    Dungeons and Dragons, Nikkiee. So, maybe he is an older troll. The Hooked on Phonics thing was from the 1980’s too. Hmmmm.

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  14. 164 - Leaper - Dec 5th, 2006

    Arrgh. The laughing man has a problem understanding our religious beliefs. He thinks that Pastafarianism is as stupid as all other religions… Well on that note he just might be right. Me thinks he has hit the nail on the head. Our religion is not any less “reasonable” than others, albeit ours has a much better “ending”. All should revere FSM because his heaven has beer volcanoes and stripper factories. BTW, I don’t live in my mother’s basement. I probably make more money than you do and no I don’t have a girlfriend, they get in the way of casual sex (which is not frowned upon if you are a pastafarian).

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  15. 165 - Fr. Corpus Callosum - Dec 5th, 2006

    @One Oared Marc: Nice haiku. Any haiku that ends with Pee Pee is pretty funny.

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  16. 166 - TheLaughingMan - Dec 5th, 2006

    I’m 17… and American. Way to call me a dickbreath… it was real adult of you. And Corpus, of course I’m not laughing. This place is kind of sad. It’s like the nerd’s version of a Shanty Town.

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  17. 167 - Mad John Kidd - Dec 5th, 2006

    I get the impression that UnLaughingMan has serious “hate” issues. Hating spaghetti may just be the latest addition to his “hate” list. Apparently, he was born without a sense of humour and has made it his mission in life to let us know. Maybe this is a cry for help. I for one am honoured to be chosen. Any critique of our fine sailing vessel, I accept on behalf of the crew, as a compliment of the lowest regard. Thank you for pointing out the errors of our ways, UnLaughingMan, we’ll be sure to keep that in mind. I’m. Sure. ;)

    RAmen

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  18. 168 - Swabbies Bucket - Dec 5th, 2006

    Point to ponder…. Let us not make fun of the teenagers…
    Some of them have made a hell of alot more sense, then us growed-ups!
    Ramen

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  19. 169 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    @TheLaughingMan Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
    Were your Muslims the ones that live in Iraq and call America the Great Devil because we sin so much?
    .
    I didn’t ask!
    .
    @One Oared Marc Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
    A Brit fundie? Oh dear.
    .
    I refer to the boy’s comment
    “call America the Great Devil because we sin so much?”
    .
    ???????

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  20. 170 - Fr. Corpus Callosum - Dec 5th, 2006

    @Cleopatra: Good Call. I noticed that too. Maybe he’s a Brit who can’t spell.

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  21. 171 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    Ahhh, 17. Sorry, didn’t mean to call you dickbreath. I should have called you “pee pee breath”. My bad.
    .
    Part of growing up is seeing the humor in adult issues. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Life is too short.

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  22. 172 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    “Yeah… I do realise that the people here are laughing at me.”
    .
    He spelled “realise” with an “s”. No American would do this.

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  23. 173 - moochie - Dec 5th, 2006

    @TheLaughingMan: “Aethiest is Athiest… just spelt the British way”.
    -
    Since neither “Aethiest” nor “Athiest” exists in the English language (well, they didn’t until you just invented them), you are clearly having a joke at our expense, you little tease. See .. I knew all the hot air was just a jape. Time to lighten up before folk start thinking you really are an archetypal ‘oar up the arse’ Brit. Having said that, if it takes their attention away from our terrible teeth …

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  24. 174 - TheLaughingMan - Dec 5th, 2006

    Flying Spaghetti Monsters that parody the Bible and all the nonsense in it is funny… but nerds who actually try to worship it are not.

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  25. 175 - Leaper - Dec 5th, 2006

    Let this not degenerate to name calling. Arrgh, he be not of the faith, but that is all right. At least he be not of any other faith. If he spends a little time around the website we might convert him, but that won’t happen if we call him names. Understand, laughing man, you are right, our religion is as sane as all the others, and we know it.

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  26. 176 - gill - Dec 5th, 2006

    “I’m 17… and American.” Super. You make us teenagers look really stupid, and America needs no ‘help’ from you when it comes to its image abroad, thank you very much.
    If this is such a waste of time for him, I wonder why he’s here….? (People with no sence of humor are the complete and total worst. ‘Cept for maybe fundies.)

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  27. 177 - Mad John Kidd - Dec 5th, 2006

    “terrible teeth…”

    Must be a Scouser, mate.

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  28. 178 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    I don’t convert. I pervert.

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  29. 179 - Coleoptera - Dec 5th, 2006

    @Fr. Corpus Callosum
    “Maybe he’s a Brit who can’t spell.”
    -
    Certainly is. The Oxford and the Cambridge dictionaries were included in that search.

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  30. 180 - Jingles - Dec 5th, 2006

    Hmm… I’m just thinking… doesn’t J spell it atheist?
    .
    He’s a pom. Also, from all evidence in his posts, he seems to know how to spell.
    .
    Then there’s Richard Dawkins. The highest profile atheist in the UK, if not the world (still living that is, Einstein would probably beat him in a popularity contest). On his own personal webpage, he uses the spelling atheist. I would think he would know how to spell it, surely?
    .
    I, like Nikkiee and a few other posters on this site, am Australian. One of the things we Aussies do is use the British spellings for the vast majority of our words. We happen to use athiest.
    .
    So, poms use atheist.
    Australians use atheist.
    Americans use atheist.
    If I could be assed digging around, I could probably also find that Canadians, New Zealanders, South Africans and just about anyone else uses ATHEIST.
    .
    So, WHO THE HELL USES AETHIEST?!

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  31. 181 - Mad John Kidd - Dec 5th, 2006

    RAmen Leaper. Well said.

    Let us smite them with the Sacred Sword of Satire

    MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian

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  32. 182 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    Well Swabbies, I myself have an aversion to fanatics of any creed. They just go around all the time preaching their “version of everything” onto everyone. Fanatics are just wanna be control freaks!

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  33. 183 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    Oh by the way, when I typed that last post, MY POCKET PROTECTOR FELL OUT! I think that it may be damaged. I hope you are satisfied, devil-boy.

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  34. 184 - you suck - Dec 5th, 2006

    the funniest thing is that this “TheLaughingMan” feels the need to keep coming back and replying to everybody. If you believe that we are nerds that have nothing better to do and you are not, then prove it. I challenge you to NOT reply to this, or any other post. Do it. Actually, please to reply, please. I really want to see you wasting more time on this website because you have nothing better to do. Please reply.

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  35. 185 - Fr. Corpus Callosum - Dec 5th, 2006

    ‘of course I’m not laughing. This place is kind of sad. It’s like the nerd’s version of a Shanty Town’

    I guess we did get his knickers in a little knot.

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  36. 186 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    @gill Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:50 pm
    “People with no sence of humor are the complete and total worst”
    .
    “Humour Deficit Disorder”

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  37. 187 - Leaper - Dec 5th, 2006

    Thank ye Mad John. The world would be a better place if we all just had some grog and let the aethiest (Darned Canuck spelling if I ever saw it, I being a Canuck) believe what he will. After all, he’s allowed to worship that “crazy” evolution and science stuff if he wants to.
    Cheers to you Mad John.

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  38. 188 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    @TheLaughingMan Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
    “Flying Spaghetti Monsters that parody the Bible and all the nonsense in it is funny… but nerds who actually try to worship it are not.”
    .
    OK OK Look
    S.A.T.I.R.E J.O.K.E. F.U.N
    United in a cause against fundamentalist christian indoctrination of kids.
    .
    Someone else try!

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  39. 189 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    @One Oared Marc Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
    “Oh by the way, when I typed that last post, MY POCKET PROTECTOR FELL OUT! I think that it may be damaged. I hope you are satisfied, devil-boy.”
    .
    Ah…. pocket protector! Must get some pockets so I can “wear” (is that the correct term)
    one.

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  40. 190 - Swabbies Bucket - Dec 5th, 2006

    Wench Nikkiee Dec 5th, 2006 at 7:54 pm

    Well Swabbies, I myself have an aversion to fanatics of any creed. They just go around all the time preaching their “version of everything” onto everyone. Fanatics are just wanna be control freaks!
    .
    Ramen, Nikkie! I couldn’t agree more!
    I’ve still got a mother in-law, God help me!
    he he

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  41. 191 - One Oared Marc - Dec 5th, 2006

    I have said seven Hail Noodles and am feeling much better.
    F.E.C.K.L.E.S.S
    Fundamentalist Evolutionary-Contrary Kids Living Ever Sillier Situations

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  42. 192 - Mad John Kidd - Dec 5th, 2006

    @ Nikkiee

    I think you nailed it with the “Humour Deficit Disorder”. So do you see this as a chemical imbalance or yet another case of the genetically challenged problem?

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  43. 193 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    hahahaha
    I’m sure FSM will oblige!

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  44. 194 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    Mad John Kidd Dec 5th, 2006 at 8:21 pm
    @ Nikkiee
    “I think you nailed it with the “Humour Deficit Disorder”. So do you see this as a chemical imbalance or yet another case of the genetically challenged problem?”.
    .
    That’s a toughy Mad John. The “Gene Guy” as they call him (the God Gene ect )
    tends towards a correlation between personal disposition and genetic makeup. Since genes code an individuals physiological chemical makeup and thus blueprints for biochemical interactions, I’d have to say that one leads to the other.
    Some people just always have a “glass half empty” outlook.
    You just wanted me to say things like that didn’t you?

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  45. 195 - Fr. Corpus Callosum - Dec 5th, 2006

    @Gill ‘You make us teenagers look really stupid’
    Actually one of the things that has impressed me about this site is how many really smart American teenagers there are. I’m very pleased to be here with all of you.

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  46. 196 - Leaper - Dec 5th, 2006

    At least the teenagers have flexible minds, aye, dare I say “noodly minds”. They are still able to bend without breaking. Unfortunately some of the elder minds are more like uncooked noodles, the only way to get them to change is to break them.

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  47. 197 - Mad John Kidd - Dec 5th, 2006

    Ooh, bring it on, baby doll.

    Actually, after having sent that post, I realized that many chemical imbalances are genetically induced, so this may be more of heredity vs. enviorment problem. But I must admit that I was hoping for a little Immunoglobulin isotope switching, or something. ;)

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  48. 198 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    @Fr. Corpus Callosum
    “I’m very pleased to be here with all of you.”
    .
    Couldn’t agree with you more Fr.. The intelligence level, as well as their expression abilities, of most of our younger pastafarian generation, (I use that in the fondest warmest way possible….as a parent would) continues to impress me no end.
    .
    RAmen

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  49. 199 - Wench Nikkiee - Dec 5th, 2006

    @Mad John
    hahahahahaha….
    No doubt enviromental factors have a big influence. Still, I think it will come down to what is in your biochemical toolbox as to how you deal/react to them. I guess someone has the genetic pre-disposition to express higher levels of say, certain endorphins, than average, may generally appear happier. Others who express less,may get more uptight pretty quickly over what the average person would consider a “mole hill”.
    What i’ve said is way, way over simplified! (brain is the mainframe)
    Heaps of modulation/ interregulation of neurotransmitters and science still doesn’t know half of it. Much of the psych chemotherapy used works on the above kind of principles though.
    RAmen

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  50. 200 - Fr. Corpus Callosum - Dec 5th, 2006

    How about this for one possible scenario of interplay between genes and environment: All things being equal the person with the lower level of endorphins is going to be more depressed. Depressed people look for ways of being happier. Most cultures are rife with religions that claim they will make you happy, so depressed people turn to religion more often than others. The same is true for environmental factors. Lots of people who have had bad things happen to them turn to religion at least temporarily. They try it out to see if it will make their life better.

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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