Dear Mr. Henderson,
I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism. Â I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative. Â Way to be
original… not. Â Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging. Â This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris. Â Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster? Â Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians. Â I don’t appreciate your bias. Â If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe. Â Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through. Â I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours. Â If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist. Â My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth? Â In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place. Â If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan
Only fitting that the Flying Spaghetti Monster should materialise near EasyJet’s headquarters…
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This pun is NOT good.
This pun is good not.
This pun is good…………………………………..not!
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We didn’t choose to make it biased, it’s simply the truth! Just because the Italians got around to making pasta first, as was part of his great plan, doesn’t mean we should be jealous!
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Wow. I have nothing more to say than, “wOw”.
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Good grief…… The self proclaimed “laughingman” is nothing of the such which sort. I agree that he obviously has not read the intro to this noodlicious website and is just a nutbar mooching in on a good time here. Get a life, get a brain, get a sense of humour clodhead.
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Is the idea of a Flying Spaghetti Monster silly? Yes, but it’s no sillier than a story about an angel coming to some chick and telling her that she’s carrying the Lord’s child.
Has laughingman ever heard of Russell’s Teapot? FSM is the same basic idea, only way better due to the inclusion of pirates.
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if you were to have read our holy book you would realize that all the accusations made about pirates are 100% inaccurate…so don’t mock us until you get your facts straight
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***It’s not even creative. Way to be
original… not.***
***Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.*****************************************************************
********************************************************************************************************************************************Am I crazy, or has this high school freshman contradicted himself? Where have all the frothing maniacs gone? Did the semi-competent crispins all get airlifted to be with hey!seus? What does a self respectin’ Pastafarian have to do for a little stimulation around here? I’ve humped all the legs I can find in these pathetic hate mail entries. Yeah, it feels good, but the joy is fleeting and meaningless. Besides, my coat is getting matted. I need a sheep to lick me clean. As my three year old says, “that’s wack!”
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Alas, I rather doubt telling laughing man the futility of religion will work. After all, he’s an aethieist (whatever the hell that is; maybe he believes in a god of the aether?).
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SO instead, let us argue against his name. TheLaughingMan: A psuedonym used by a hacker in the anime series Ghost in the Shell; Stand Alone Complex.
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A rather nerdy character really. Bad dress sense too. Oh, and the Stand Alone Complex was nowhere near as good as the original movie.
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Just disapointing overall.
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Bobby, what say you fix me? I proof-read and still bitched up the ‘Am I’. Too many asstricks, I reckon.
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Yeah, how did you even do that?
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Fuck me in the ass if I know. I’m just that good, I guess.
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“I now believe it is our FSM mandated duty as Pastafarians, to unite, to rise up and fight to DEFEAT HUMOR ILLITERACY!” YES!! Thank you, someone else has noticed the utter lack of humor these people have. Jeeze, if you can’t laugh every now and then what’s the point of living?
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@ Nick the infidel – I agree with your diagnosis of humor illiteracy. Luckily, some of us have been spared from this horribly socially crippling malady. We will have to lead the way. Finally, I have a mission!
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Dinnah ye bilge rats be gettin this here genius’ humour? Can ye nay kin that he styles ‘imself “The Laughingman” after that there Nipponese cartoon show with them ghosts in their shells? Well, I be explainin’ it hastily, as there’s noodles in the pot a boilin: Noodles be from the Nippons, and the “Laughing Man” were an incomprehensible, depressin scallawag (sorta a pirate himself, see?), that nobody in the Western Hemisphere could understand the motives of..
Tis simple as that, mateys.
Arrrrr-ramen
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Real atheists don’t spell it “aetheist”. Sorry, you phail.
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I thought TBS had the right Idea with their humor hotline commercials. You could call in and describe your situation, and they’d tell you how funny it is,
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Wouldn’t it be offensive to the Chinese that the Italians blatantly stole spaghetti from them and claimed it as their own? Just about as offensive as Arabic numerals actually coming from India. Please shut up.
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@Nick the Infidel Dec 4th, 2006 at 8:44 pm
‘You could call in and describe your situation, and they’d tell you how funny it is’
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Nick, that is an excellent idea! I’d be happy to man a phone. (so to speak)
RAmen
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This is off topic, but who on earth can stop me? the three year old daughter in the bath says to me: ” I’m making my hair pretty for Johnny Cash”. Don’t ask me why she wants to do something for JC, we just listen to him during bathtime alot. I tell them that we’re listening to Alice in Chains, and the six year old daughter says she’s fixing her hair for Alice and James. What?
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It is a six year olds prerogative not to make perfect sense to an adult. Adults just never get it anyway! Ask any six year old.
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@ TheLaughingMan:
“[Y]ou guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.”
Firstly, I don’t recall that Mr. Henderson ever claimed that pirates were followers of the FSM. I think what you might be refferring to are his claims that the FSM wants us to wear pirate relagia when we teach others about our beliefs and that certain natural disasters are the results of the FSM’s anger at the dwindling pirate population. Thus, the killings perpetrated by the pirates to whom you also refferred must have been commited by the pirates not acting in accordance with the FSM’s desires. That said, pastafarianism is still not responsible for any deaths.
Secondly, if you do not find this satire amusing, I truly wonder what it is that you do laugh at “LaughingMan”.
-Avatar of Reason
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Obviously our friend here is missing a noodle, but we shouldn’t let our water boil over and waste thyme when there’s pasta to be cooked. The poor fellow will find himself sprinkled with a little cheese and left under the grill till doomsday, no doubt, and I for one am certainly hungry. Is that aloud? Excuse me, I farted.
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@Wench Nikkiee
“Nick, that is an excellent idea! I’d be happy to man a phone. (so to speak)
RAmen”
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Why did that excite me? Anyway I don’t think that this would work for us because the person would need to recognize that the situation has the potential to be funny, and the trolls we deal with often don’t seem to even get that far.
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We’ve got to deeper than that. I’m thinking a wallet sized fold out dichtomous key for every situation. It would start something like:
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1. Have you just encountered a potentially opposing and offensing point of view?
Yes – Go to 2.
No – Go on with life.
2 How did the encounter offend you?
Religiously- Go to 3.
Moraly – Go to 4.
Socially – Go to 5.
Etc………
………..
A potential ending point for our brand of haters might be as follows:
36b You have likely just encountered religous satire of a political nature. Please
reconsider the encounter and move on to 50
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50 Do you now recognize that what you encountered was humorous parody for the
purposes of lampooning the absurdity of a certain point of view?
Yes – Congratulations, have a laugh and move on with your day.
No – You seem likely to be a humorless twit. The only cure for your condition is to
lock yourself in a basement and watch every episode of “The Kids In The
Hall” ever made.
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What do you think?
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oh, and question, if I may be so bold, was Kramer from Seinfeld a Pastafarian Prophet? I mean, he boldly imagined the pirate shirt to come in fashion. Jerry might have been laughed off of stage that time, but wasn’t Jebus laughed of the cross at some point? And, in a way, don’t we all wear the shirt now, so to speak? I’m sorry, but I was ignoring the jokeman or whatever ‘is name was or whatever a bit ago, or maybe I just have a midget attention spam.
Oops, farted.
Excrement deleted
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@Nick
What do you think?
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Yes yes yes ……perfect!
RAmen
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Ludicrous my friend…Ludacris is a rapper
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Ludicrous my friend…Ludacris is a rapper…tsk for FSM’s sake
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I am an aetheist too
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blehh -_-
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@ Nick
Nice work on the dichotomous key!
“kids in the hall”—especially this clip!
http://brentrasmussen.com/log/node/1009
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And yo, I say verily unto thee my fellow brothers and sisters of the Sauce: Be not afraid of the unbelievers for they shall plot another course, though they choose to sail through life in perpetual darkness. For they do not see the light of His Noodly Appendage leading their way. Instead, pity them for they ignore the aroma of thy bounty and do not know of the goodness of His warmth in thy belly. And do not betray His wisdom of the Condiments for He is with us always. In the name of the Holy Parody we pray that we poor wretches be delivered from bad grammar, vicious vitriol and vulgarity. As well as those who simply don’t get it. And so, my fellow Pastafarians it befalls that our greatest weapon is to smite them with the Sacred Sword of Satire.
RAmen
MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian
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Good one MJK, I’m particularly fond of the one where Bruce appologizes to the world after he finds out that he’s the one thats been causing all this cancer.
Discovered a site called found photos, Its photos randomly downloaded from P2P sites. Randomly came across a photo of the white house with this guys thumb and forefinger below and above it, like he’s about to do the “I’m crushing your head”. Laughed for days!
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@ Nick
Hahahahaha…quality. I love the “I’m crushing your head” guy. I also like the two cops, especially the skit where the one gives the formal report on how he locked his keys in the squad car.
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Share?
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@Mad John Kidd
“And yo, I say verily unto thee my fellow brothers and sisters of the Sauce:”
Not too much permanent damage done Mad John.
RAmen
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@ Nikkiee
I’ll be alright…just a nasty headache and a sore shoulder. My truck, on the other hand….
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Ah…the FSM has His priorities right. He obviously concentrated His Noodley appendages on His loyal pastafarian and not an agnostic truck.
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Oh Mr. Henderson,
is that true what the laughing man says? I am one of your horribly nerdy followers, and when the FSM is really a farce, then I would have to get over myself and go back to
having what little lives I have in the first place.
Could you answer me quickly please, I really need your word now!
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Dammit Bobby!
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You have to warn people about posts like that. I killed off a two dozen perfectly good brain cells reading that.
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OEJ
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See that? Those dead brain cells resulted in my leaving and extra “a” in that last post where it didn’t belong.
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I’ll probably go blind next! Oh, wait, that’s something else. NVM.
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OEJ
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It is great writings (such as this from TheLaughingMan) that make me question my Pastafarianism. Oh great noodly one…give me the strength to deny such words and be strong in my belief that you are not just a farce as stated.
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who adresses a prophet as Mr. Henderson?? His name is Bobby…if oyu sent a l;etter to your “God” would you call him Mr. God?? NO!! well secondly ALL the things you know about pirates are false… it is a fact that pirates are “peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will” (The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)…and the fallacies that you were told wer lies made up by angry Christians!!!
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>you guys claim that Pirates are your
>followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
>While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
>Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.
Haha ! you missed the point there !
Pirates didn’t kill in the name of the FSM, they did it for money, and with style.
Many people would have preferred to be killed by a flashy (do you use that word in english too ? sorry, I’m a poor french sympathisant) pirate with a rusty sword on a sunny deck, than in a cave by a man in brownish robes and with hot iron.
I know I would.
Hail to the FSM !
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oh btw…in the end there, when you said we were bias towards pirates and Italians…you left out Midgets!!!
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i love the flying spaghetti monsters!
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Its not ALL Americans that are ruining the world!!!!! IT’S BUSH!!!!!!! I want peace!!!!! And i’m not fat or stupid and i agree with you 100% about our president! I’m asking you to not say all Americans…..probably 75% are fat, stupid and like Bush! And by the way…..I think you folks have a great website and it really is. . . . true!
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@ Nick
Love the fold out thing idea, the only problem is, if you write it with such good grammer, those who are most in need of it probably won’t be able to understand it… then again, watching them furrow their brows at all the strange punctuation would be a bit of a laugh.
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I’ve been wondering what K-Fed has been doing since Brit dumped him. And by the way the Chinese where doing the pasta a couple thousand years before the Italians got it.
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Sorry could resist being the 100th reply (unless I’m beaten to it, type quick goddamnit!)
Love the book, love the spaghetti monster. I have surely been touched by His loving appendages.
Happy Pasta all
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