How can a thing made by man be god? its fucking spagetti! people EAT IT! why would you let people EAT your god? Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there :P
-Nautilus
is this a joke, or are you just retarded?
Published by Bobby Henderson December 1st, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 370 Comments
370 Responses to “is this a joke, or are you just retarded?”
No this isn’t a joke. We are retarded.
Tell me, do you post the same thing to Catholic websites? They regard the communion wafers & wine as the body & blood of Christ and they EAT IT!
We aren’t the only people who eat our deity.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Chocolate Jesuses
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wow, good for you. did you know that a nautilus is similar to an ammonite, a similar creature of which died out millions of years ago. yea, thought so
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Don’t consider it eating as much as becoming one with FSM.
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Oh heavens, Nautilus. Does your mommy let you on the computer all by yourself?
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Nobody seems to understand that man created spaghetti in FSM’s image! As well as eating spaghetti, a communion of FSM, is a blessing! Fools.
Isn’t Nautilus a sub? And a bed? and a pokemon?
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Over 4000 years ago, the first strand of spaghetti was made by a would-be-named prophet, not from his own intellect or ingenuity, but through him. Our Al Dente Deity spoke words of inspiration; “Thou shall make thine source of nourishment in my noodley image”. Man then saw the beauty that was pasta, and the Lord, Flying Spaghetti Monster, saw that it was good. One is closest to his Parmesanian Piousness when consuming the essence of his noodley love.
You must believe my brother!!
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I think I would prefer to be referred to as “Differently-Faithed.” Retarded is such an ugly word.
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Everyone here thinks your de de de, retard. Congratulations.
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Once again, arrrgh, it’s those that lack any humorous bones in their wee bod’s that are all too vociferous in their nasty, ignorant diatribes.
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We have eaten the body of xrist. We WILL NOW eat sustenance of the Noodly Master.
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Yum.
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And, obviously you are hanging with those who are NOT in the know.
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@St. John
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Before FSM, I have to admit that I was into chocoholism. It was the truth, the medium through which I had a bond in soul and spirit.
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I am saved.
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I have seen the lightness of Boyardee Brightness. And whole wheat linguini’s loveliness. Not to mention Asiago Angels – I believe this is a cut above Parmagiana Piety.
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Eat a god? That’s, like, totally nuts. Only a totally whack religion would eat a god.
Christians, now, they’re a sensible bunch. They’d never eat their….oh, yeah… never mind.
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Ba-dum-bum-CHING!
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Holy FSM. I bow to thee. Please give me a portion of your flesh for dinner. YUM…
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Doh!
Of course we are retarded.
Whatever reason could there be?
I mean we educate ourselves, we make our own decisions, we don’t allow a church to brainwash us. Of course we are retarded. Doh!
Thing that gets me, is you are talking to us retards?
That’s kinda stupid, don’cha think?
Tiiimmmmmyyyyyyy
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If we are retarded, how did we manage to make a website, gain lots of support, publish a freakin’ book, and play with your head?
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To quote Nautilus;
“Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there”
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Woohoo!
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The idiots just keeps reinforcing our views of them!
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To be able to confuse the support of a satirical argument with clinical retardation requires damn near complete lack of observational skills, OR a serious mental deficiency.
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Any bets on which one I suspect it is?
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Hey you guys out here.
I grew up, old school catholic.
Any of you guys? Remember the school girls keeling for communion? Putting the wafers in their mouths?
HOLY shit! No wonder I’m retarded!
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“I feel good, and I knew that I would”
60 pamphlets and people coming up asking for more!
“I feel fine…..”
RAmen
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dude, your an idiot fuck. i don’t go round insulting other religions (parden my spelling) so why are you insulting ours its equaly if not more posible than watever belive you you so clearly love and obses over.
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My mother was a catholic gal who married the son of a united church minister. Catholics excommunicated her and told her that her children would be bastards and deformed.
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Nice huh?
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I toughed it out. Not a bastard. Not deformed.
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So there!
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Pasta sauce on ‘em all.
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a) I’m only mildly retarded
b) Eating Pasta is how we worship smarts
c) I doubt we would care about what your friends (who are probably as nice as you are) think.
:D
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***why would you let people EAT your god?***
You ask this question and it confuses me. Why would we ‘let’ people eat our god. ‘Let’…hmmmm… Do you control what others do to your god? Is your god not omnipotent? Omnicient? Does your god require protecting? By you? ;-) This question that you rather ignorantly pose reveals your thought process in an unfortunate manner. You seem to suggest that we all control our gods. That we must maintain our gods…protect our gods. Like our children…we must cultivate and keep safe our fragile creations. Don’t let anyone eat your god, otherwise you might have to spend a lot of FUCKING
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time making up another. Sorry folks, for some reason I get bent out of shape discussing this subject.
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I guess I missed the eating part.
If I eat my god, it would only be because, it tastes so GOD DAMN GOOD!
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Poke’mon these days. just can’t catch the satire.
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I’m sure I could be extemely retarded, if I chose to stick my head in the sand and just blame everything on my imaginary friend ,(who loves me, by the way) . But I choose rationality over ignorance. Maybe not easy for some, but so worth it! Just imagine eating spaghetti like eating jeezuz body when you consume the host. No diff!
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Swabbies Bucket Dec 1st, 2006 at 9:43 pm
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“Any of you guys? Remember the school girls keeling for communion? Putting the wafers in their mouths? HOLY shit! No wonder I’m retarded!”
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Hormones Swabbies, hormones!
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Oh how cute. Little Nautilus thinks he’s all smart and stuff with his incredible logic and advanced powers of observation. And his friends are smart too!
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These people kinda annoy mw. For the last time “THE FLYING SPAGHATTI MONSTER IS GOD”, and eating pasta is simply a tribute to GOD. Get it??????
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“protect our gods. Like our children” hmm… I’m pretty sure “the bible” teaches that our children are not important and our daughters should just be thrown out to the mob to be raped… Just ask Lot (Genesis 19: 7-8)… what an ugly religion
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I love it when you guys quote scripture back at the ignorants. I haven’t read the book.
RAmen
ps Heathen Pride?
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@Swabbies Bucket
OK Swabbies, I clicked your name. I saw no buckets or grapes?
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“Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there :P”
-Nautilus
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Oh no……anthing but the “everyone else I know thinks what I do” thing.
Quick …run away …run away
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‘why would you let people EAT your god?’
Catholics beleive they are eating their god at communion, we baeleive we are eating a divine gift granted to us by him that is in his image. We do not eat the FSM have you ever seen anyone eating flying spaghetti?
‘Everyone I know thinks you are retarded’
How does our faith make us retarded ours has emperical evidence which is more than christianity which has one book that contrdicts itself constantly. You simply blindly follow what you were told with out questioning anything we have we on the other hand come to conclusions using logical conjecture based on observable evidence.
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Well, the Bible doesn’t teach that women should be raped and thrown to the mob, that section about Lot was describing how horribly messed up the city of Sodom, Gomorrah, and even those surrounding cities were; so horribly sin filled that the men of the city would roam it at night, raping whomever they could get their hands on. Because Lot followed middle-eastern customs of hospitality, taking men under your roof required you to protect them to the death by expending whatever you had for them (he hadn’t recognized that the men he was with were actually angels that had come to warn him to leave because of the impending destruction of the city) (which if you analyzed the soil around modern day Sodom and Gommorah and the surrounding cities you would find immense amounts of salt and balls of pure sulfur [http://www.bibleplus.org/discoveries/sodomfound.htm] only around those cities, with no clear reason as to why those traces are there becase there are no geographic features that would explain them) and Lot was more afraid of the punishment he thought he would recieve if he gave over these messengers to be raped by the mob (who only wanted the men and not his daughters, but killed them anyway after raping them in spite).
Actually, what the Bible teaches is that these cities were so incredibly wicked that God destroyed them as a warning to those that would practice the same kinds of evils.
Don’t get me wrong, God is patient and kind, but He’s also just and hates evil (and multiple cities filled with murderous sex-crazed rapists… that just doesn’t seem like a ‘good’ thing to me)
Disclaimer: I’m not a very precise speller and my grammer isn’t the best, sorry about that. Also, I’m not insulting homosexuals, murderers, rapists, or even you simple sex-crazed maniacs; I’m just saying what the city was full of. If you truly read what the Bible teaches you will see that all men fall short of Gods glory and deserve hell. I’m no worse or no better than a homosexual in Gods eyes; I’m a man that needs to trust Jesus Christ as my savior.
As do all of you. Good day!
Romans 3:23 : for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
Romans 6:23 : for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:3-4: For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day accordin to the Scriptures
Romans 10:9-13 : that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
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Oh, and when I said “simple sex-crazed maniacs” I wasn’t calling all of YOU simple minded sex-crazed maniacs, I was saying ‘or even those of you who are simply sex-crazed maniacs.’
I wasn’t insulting anyones intelligence and I’m not being sarcastic right now.
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I also will say it’s unfortunate that the first person to post said something so vile. I do not believe that I eat my Lord Jesus Christ when I take communion (I’m not catholic) because the Scriptures say men are saved by believing in Him, not eating Him. And no where does it say in Scripture that I must take communion to have a relationship with Christ; the Scripture recounts Christ commanding that it be done to remember Him and His promises until He comes again, and nothing more.
Also, I understand this website is a satire and I take no offense; in fact, I find it quite humourous and if I was drafted, I would fight/die for you to have the ability to say the things you’re saying. I do believe the Scripture is true, but I do not slight you in the least for not believe the same thing I do or living differently than myself (how can I hold you to my standard when the Scripture says that it would be impossible for you to please God without faith in Him? Why should I try to make you live to please Him then?). I do hope you would eventually come to know Him because the life of true belief in Christ (and not the fake belief, which currently fills America, that I am grieved you all see everyday) is amazing and sweet, filled with all the good things of life; purity, comfort, love, and joy.
Also, I don’t want to see any of you seperated from God (the one that knit you together in your mothers womb) for all eternity. It would really suck.
Thanks again =D
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So many different versions of christanity. Will the “real” religion please stand up and be identified?
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Ryguy,
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Before you begin arguing scripture, maybe you should read it more carefully.
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1) “he hadn’t recognized that the men he was with were actually angels that had come to warn him to leave because of the impending destruction of the city”. Lot most certainly recognized the strangers as angels: Genesis 19 1-2 “1 … When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 ‘My lords,’ he said, ‘please turn aside to your servant’s house…” Obviously Lot knew them to be angels.
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2) “Lot was more afraid of the punishment he thought he would recieve if he gave over these messengers to be raped by the mob (who only wanted the men and not his daughters, but killed them anyway after raping them in spite).” The Bible never mentions Lot having fear of retribution if he gives up the angels to the mob. The Bible never says that the mob rapes or murders the daughters (how could they later become pregnant by their father if they were dead?). It only says in Genesis 19 8 “…I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men …” The angels strike the mob blind before they can carry out their threats. Given all this, it remains revolting to offer your daughters to a mob as a solution. And to think God considers Lot to be a good man.
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I highly encourage everyone to read the full story of Lot in Genesis 19. It’s a short read and a remarkable example of what passes for good in God’s eyes.
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OEJ, Ship’s Navigator
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Holy crap, One Eyed Jack! If your wallet doesn’t say “Bad Mother Fucker”, it should!
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@ankla1.com
Why?
I know you are probably used to believing in unrealistic things, but here’s a hint: wallets can’t talk.
Sorry to burst another one of your bubbles!
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Wow there Nautilis, we aren’t actually eating our God, you have to remember, pasta was created in His image, He wasn’t created in pasta’s image. Therefore, one could argue that He isn’t actually “made” of spaghetti but rather some mystical and powerful material that can pass through normal matter(that is so Star Trek☺). Have you ever seen spaghetti that can pass through normal matter? Thought not!!!
That’s why I don’t think He’s made of “spaghetti” so to speak, but more of “über-pasta” or “spæghetti”(yay symbols!!!).
RAmen
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Why don’t people get this? Didn’t you pass High School English? It’s a joke! A satire! It’s making fun of organized religion and fundamentalism! Seriously, you must be retarded if you can’t take a second to realize that. Those people who are unable or refuse to understand the genius of this idea are the reason for which America is slowly spiraling into a theocratic pit of death, terror, atrocities, prejudice, warmongering and fundamentalism. Please, do civilization a favor and go die.
Thank you for your time,
Optimus Prime, Leader of the Autobots, Savior of Cybertron and Pasta Afficionado
RAmen
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Wench Nikkiee Dec 2nd, 2006 at 2:29 am
@Swabbies Bucket
OK Swabbies, I clicked your name. I saw no buckets or grapes?
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@ Nikkiee and everybody, Sure I could link to grapes in a bucket.
But if you click on me name, you will get me saying hi to you!
Be sure your sound is on.
Peace and Love
Ramen
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People don’t get the satire because they can not comrehend anybody else not believing in the bible. Unfotantely that comes from a wicked circle. Typically all christians science education is ruined after about 9th grade, because that is usually when Darwinism is first discussed. since they never study any science above about 9th grade, they are unable to learn advanced concepts in science like genitics, carbon dating, and evolution etc.. It is in these advanced classes that the proof of evolution lies. They never learn these study these subjects, and their priest tells them they are false. They know no better. Unfortunately I see no way to break the cycle.
I read a book the death of evolution, I stongly recommend this book it is worth a million laughs. Almost as many laughs as the speghetti bible. the creationists are actually looking for Noah’s ark. The author also like to mention the 2nd law of thermodynamics as proof there could be no evolution.
There is no logic in any of them. The argument is hopeless.
although this site is always worth a million laughs, but we are trying to explain evolution to someone with a 9th grade education is tough.
Dan
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yeah, it’s interesting how creationists never really read much pro-evolution literature (which is the only good reason I can thick of that they keep trotting out the same arguments, that or stupidity. Uhhh, what I really mean is that when I bought “the god delusion” by Richard Dawkins it was clear that all the negative reviews of the book were by fuddies who hadn’t actually read it.) Myself and I think most atheists take the time to read their books and their websites, if only to laugh and pull apart their pathetic reasoning.
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@ThatWenchyCharacter
what ankla1.com was saying about OneEyedJack’s wallet reading “Bad Mother Fucker” is a Pulp Fiction reference. It appears he is supporting OneEyedJack’s trouncing of Ryguy’s arugument utilizing a superior knowledge of the bible.
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I agree…..People are retarded for believing so strongly in something that we created…..I mean, come on, God? What a ridiculous idea! Oh, wait…you were talking about FSM! Humans created god to explain things that we couldn’t understand…simple as that. Why don’t you compare people from the bible, and prophecies and events to some of the ‘untrue’ Pagan beliefs? I think you’ll find some amazing similarities. If all other religions are wrong, and millions believe in them…what the fuck makes yours right? Not a damn thing.
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@ankla1.com
Apologies ankla1. I was a bit fired up over something somewhere else.
RAmen
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@Peter
Thanks for putting me straight. Just so used to the fundies calling us all mother fuckers.
RAmen
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my beliefs kind of correlate to ID, but I relly don’t want to be associated with the hardline nutjobs who want it taught as science.
I see ID as just a souped up version of the old watch-watchmaker argment (mmm, soup, I’d join a religion based on that!) and it belongs in either a religious sudies or at best a philosophy class.
Sure, you can attack evolution in science, but to make the leap from that to saying “ooh, there must be some sort of all powerful overmind who tinkers with cells” is ABSOLUTELY unscientific.
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster was clearly not made by man. We have documentation which shows this. See the illustration of His Noodliness creating a mountain, some trees and a midgit.
May you see the error of your ways and be touched by his Noodly appendage.
The Noodle Toucher.
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@OEJ: The story of lot is just about my favorite story in the Bible: Rape, incest, drunkenness, pillars of salt, and almost everyone getting killed by god. What more could we ask for? Huzzah for sex and violence!
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Hah! Yeah, I havn’t read that story in a while… I’m ashamed! Well, you are right, but it is not reflective of the standards of modern Christianity to offer your daughters to a blood-thirsty mob =D
And please look past my obvious mis-interpretation and ignorance in dealing with Scripture I havn’t reviewed in a while. We all make mistakes from time to time.
Thanks for pointing that out One Eyed Jack!
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But also I must point out, if God does not confront and destroy evil, is He good?
Yes, evil exists in the world because God is patient and wants men to believe in Him, but God also did act to destroy Soddom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities.
Please check out : http://www.bibleplus.org/discoveries/sodomfound.htm
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@Pixel Pete: “über-pasta†or “spæghetti†I love it! It’s the Platonic archetype of ‘pastaness’ in which all pasta participates: a sort of ‘meta-pasta’.
Ramen, Brother, Ramen
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This is hate mail? Where’s the Hell fire, where’s the death threats, where the hell is the ass raping with oars?
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How can a thing made by man be god? its fucking ANTHROPOMORPHIZED DIETY! people WORSHIP IT! why would you let people WORSHIP your god? Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there :P
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-Cap’nUberbob
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Ryguy Dec 2nd, 2006 at 1:32 pm
“Yes, evil exists in the world because God is patient and wants men to believe in Him”
That god is a very strange thing to believe in!!
@Just Guess
I miss the oars too :(
RAmen
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@Ryguy: The problem I have with the God of the Bible is that he seems to be evil. I’m not trying to be offensive, I’m trying to present a point of view.
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Imagine God as a parent who says he ‘loves his children unconditionally’. One of his children does something that is absolutely against the rules of the household; something that the parent considers to be an abomination. The parent is sad, because he loves his child, but the infraction must be punished. So he kills the child. He didn’t want to do it, but the child drove him to it by breaking the rules, and breaking the rules must be punished.
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Now imagine that the parent is arrested. He’s brought into court and defends himself by explaining his case to the judge exactly as it happened: ‘I loved my child, but he did something abominable, something that is totally against my rules for the house, and abomination must be punished, so I had to kill him’. What do you think the judge would say?
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Do you see the problem? The god of the bible comes off as a evil, raving, psychotic.
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The Devil seems to me to be the good guy of the bible story. He’s on man’s side, he wants him to learn and mature. God punishes Adam and Eve for eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the Devil helps them to eat it. God kills the whole population of the world in the bible. Devil kills about 10 people, and that’s with Gods permission ’cause they have a bet.
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I really don’t see the big deal here either.
I’ve been called much worse then a retard. I remember this one time…
I think it was at band-camp, somebody had the nerve to call me a CHRISTION!
Ya wanna talk about how far up an ass an oar can go?
HOLY splinters! I just am not offended by this “retard statement”.
I know not what I am not.
Huh?
Ramen
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Brothers and Sisters, oars are redundant. If god is everywhere, he is up your ass.
Thankfully, the same cannot be said of his noodliness.
RAman!
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But think of the oars. They’re going to waste, and that’s terrible.
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@Swabbies Bucket
Someone called you a christion the bastard i would have plundered their home for such an insult!
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@Just Guess
‘But think of the oars. They’re going to waste, and that’s terrible.’
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Bill over on the ‘FSM Money Stamp’ thread might like one (or two).
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I just hope with the new school year, They’ll finally take me off the short bus.
I haven’t picked my nose in over a week now….
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A very merry Pastamass to us all.
Even to the heretic Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Mormons, Scientologists, Seventh Day Adventists, Jedi Knights, Jews, Followers Of The Cult Of Mithras, Hindus, Sikhs and The Worshippers Of The Divine Pratchett, Creator of The Holy Discworld. Ramen and Arrr.
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Trekkies too?
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Start Trek isn’t heresy. I think we should make it the official Sci-fi show for Pastafarianism.
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Wench Nikkie Dec 2nd, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Ryguy Dec 2nd, 2006 at 1:32 pm
“Yes, evil exists in the world because God is patient and wants men to believe in Himâ€
That god is a very strange thing to believe in!!
@Just Guess
I miss the oars too :(
RAmen
What I meant was, God doesn’t destroy us all at once for being evil because He is patient, and is trying to save some, wanting us to believe in Him. That’s not strange, that’s compassion.
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http://emporium.turnpike.net/C/cs/top.htm
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Cap’nUberbob, where you get idea for your name. That turns out to be my Online Halo name.
Aaaaaanyway, my friend’s parents, being fundies, said they were “worried for my soul.” They thought I was getting into a cult, and that I would go to hell. I pity them.
RAmen
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Oh Lord won’t ya buy me, a Mercedes Benz, and give me the power to naturally select,
who I want to survive!
Ramen
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Ryguy, you are full of shit. How about we take responsability for our own actions using our intellect and sense of morality, not some fairy tale.
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Umm Ryguy .. why on earth did you leave us that link? Have you read it? Here’s a taster of one of the supposed arguments against evolution (I kid you not)..
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“Natural Selection commends savages who eliminate the weak. It commended the ruthless takeover of the Native Indian of North America, the destruction of Jews in the Holocaust, and all other acts where the powerful ruthlessly have their way. It names all who kill as better. It would name a country that destroys all others as best.
Natural Selection argues against such things as vaccinations that help the weak. It demands that the weaker not reproduce so that society not be `dragged down’.”
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I don’t know whether to piss myself laughing, or be mortally offended. Is this your idea of an intellectual discourse that accurately reflects the basic tenets of Natural Selection? Is this how Christians really think? Good grief, Charlie Brown.
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@ moochie, Just do what I do.
Laugh at the stupid, for they know not what they say.
Ramen
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More from that link .. you really must read it. It’s hilarious. Here are the top 6 reasons why Natural Selection has “severe logical inconsistencies”:
1. That living things are suited for their environment better explains the fact that they were created for it not that they evolved into it.
2. Similarity among living things points to a common design by a designer who used similar patterns.
3. Similarity among living things does not point to evolution. “There is no more reason to believe that man descended from some inferior animal as there is to believe that a stately mansion has descended from a cottage.”
4. It only makes sense that there would be similarities among living things since they all share the same environment. For example, since we all share air, it makes sense that many would have lungs.
5. It only makes sense to create things similar since similarity allows people to identify and work with other living things more easily.
6. In fact, if the environment controls natural selection and we are all from the same ancestor (some single cell or whatever), why is there such variety in the world? With the same ancestor and precipitator, would all not have been brought to at least close to the same end? Instead some living things are cells and plants, others are horses and people.
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Yup, folks, we’ve been rumbled by the egg-heads. Point #3 is the killer for me. My humble hovel won’t evolve into a stately mansion, no matter how much paint I throw at it. Sigh .. why was I so blind?
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I burst into laughter every time I read point #6. And point #5. I’m beginning to wonder if the whole thing isn’t just a piss-take. Anyway, I just wanted to thank Ryguy for posting it .. it’s now saved as a favourite. Priceless!
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@Moochie:
Amazing! The scales have fallen from my eyes! I’m amazed by their clever, clever insights. Number 5 seems to mean that there is no similarity except what people make. Tres existential! I love the irony.
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Why, oh why, do christians never answer my ‘evil god’ posts? *sob, sniff*
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My sides ache. Gotta leave you one more piece of spectacular scientific insight:
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“All the matter we see, the sun and so forth, are said by evolutionists to have begun by a mixture of gases in the atmosphere. But, from where did the gases come and where did even the space for them come? Science cannot account for something coming from nothing (and neither can common sense account for it) and this is not to even mention the complexity of matter which even adds to this absurdity. In fact, as mentioned, when you have nothing, you do not even have the space for the something that is to come from it.
In addition, without the sun, etc., there would be no gravity. Therefore, those supposed gases from which all things supposedly come would simply disseminate into space not draw together to form anything.”
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Ah, me. Why would people have any possible concerns about letting such scientists loose in our classrooms? No wonder the aliens are reluctant to make contact .. how dangerous and crazy we must look.
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That books seems… unique. Without mass there would still be gravity, just no source thereof. Also, there were no atmospheres before the planets formed, as such things require planets. The List of 6 (devil’s number. Eh?) Is contradictory in so many ways, a good laugh. One of the links suggests that “Something cannot come from nothing”. Now, paronez moi if I am wrong, but did God and Life not come from nothing?
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All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray
I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day
I’d be safe and warm if I was in L.A.
California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day
Stopped in to a church I passed along the way
Well I got down on my knees and I pretend to pray
You know the preacher liked the cold
He knows I’m gonna stay
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That should do it.
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@No one in particular: The source of my merriment is a web-site (link posted by Ryguy about a dozen posts up). It would be wonderful if it was available in book form, though. I would carry it everywhere and embarrass Creationists to death by quoting from it at length.
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I’m not sure there would be any gravity if there was no mass in the universe. What’s funny about the quote is the author’s assumption that gas has no mass. I’d love to see his/her face when presented with a news item about the tons of CO2 released into the atmosphere as the result of various processes. ‘It floats’ he’ll wail ‘how can it have a weight? How would you hold it on to a set of scales? How do clouds hold up all that rain? My brain hurts’ etc. God has no answer to this conundrum. Pressure applied in a downwards direction by a noodly appendage, however, is both necessary and sufficient. QED. See? It’s fun to play at science. Yay! Sorry .. Yarr!
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Nor does the Bible explain gravity, unlike the theory of Intelligent Falling.
From what I can see, the Bible is nothing but a collection of fables, invented so that the slaves and peasants of the day would stop asking “Why?” Religion is nothing but an excuse to prevent anyone from thinking of anything above and beyond their place in life.
I suggest you guys read Titan by Stephen Baxter. Decent book, but the scary part is where the Christian fundamentalist gets elected to president. Long story short, it caused the Chinese (those wonderful little people who were inspired to create noodles in our creator’s likeness) to destroy the world.
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its funny that you think we are retarted… we have the exact same ideas as you just our diety does not take the form of his creations…that would be dumb!! Our diety does though allow us to visualize him and absorb some of his noodlyness by eating pasta. BTW all my friends think your retarted :P
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@ Ryguy – regarding “I’m a man that needs to trust Jesus Christ as my savior. As do all of you.”
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How dare you tell me what I need to do based on what you believe. What if I was an adamant proponent of daily enemas for personal salvation and, out of the goodness of my heart, told you that you also need a daily high colonic. Would you rush to the nearest health care store or wherever one buys such things because a complete stranger told you that you must do it or suffer eternal constipation and buildup of dangerous toxins? I don’t think you would. If you need to trust Jesus Christ as your savior, good for you. Leave me alone. If you told me that you’re just fine, thank you, and you don’t need daily bowel cleansing, I would leave you alone. I’m telling you that I don’t need your version of God, so please accept that and move on.
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-SaucyWench, just don’t bother with this guy,you heard him, ‘HE NEEEDS JESUS-BABY!’ just let the baby have his bottle and come talk to us on wife shooter thread. He can’t save your soul if your not here, right?
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“Although evolutionists state that … matter resulted from nothing … [this] is an impossibility of science and the natural world.”
Funny, because quantum physics – now pretty much universally accepted – says exactly the opposite. In the quantum world a vacuum is is not empty, but filled with a fizz of particles popping in and out of existence apropos of nothing (save probability). These particles usually ‘arrive’ in particle/antiparticle pairs (conserving energy) which immediately annihilate, but circumstances where they do not annihilate are possible (hawking radiation for example).
There is also no theoretical limit on the size or complexity of the matter which may pop into existence – but the probability of such events drop off pretty quickly. So it’s entirely possible that a 1000ft diamond statue of Douglas Adams could appear in orbit around the moon right now – it’s just phenomenally unlikely.
The Big-Bang could have been such an event – a hyper-massive lump of stuff and it’s anti-counterpart appear and start to annihilate – the resulting explosion blows vast amounts of matter and antimatter clear of the reaction in opposite directions.
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@BB,
It’s also possible for Earth to undergo Total Existence Failure (Where every atom of earth suddenly ceases to exist at once) but the odds are so low that Earth has a higher chance of splitting into two planets, one made of iron, the other, statues of Douglas Adams. Douglas Adams made TEF up. He was awesome.
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RyGuy,
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I applaud you for admitting your error. Many wouldn’t.
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Now I encourage you to emply the same attitude and get a better understanding of evolution. The sites you have linked in your various posts are horribly misleading. They are filled with distortions and outright lies — Lies and distortions that have been refuted decades ago.
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If you are interested in making an honest attempt at understanding the facts, you should spend time reading the other side of the issue from sources not motivated by a religious agenda.
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OEJ
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Oh thank you, some one finally refutes the God-Boy with a bit of basic Quantum Physics. They just don’t bother to look up what is right and what is wrong. I was taught Biology in my final year of high school by a fundementalist Christian (and i live in New Zealand, which is practically a secular society guys, read it and weep, religious people are relatively rare). Despite having a superb grasp of biology and evolutionary theory in general, he just couldn’t resist pointing out all the flaws as we poor students choked through a mountain load of theory. I checked up on all the “flaws” he claimed put the kibosh on evolution for good on the net, being the curious guy I am, and found at least 3 different refutations for each of these, well thought out arguments by guys with lots of letters after their names. And that was an educated Christian, with a degree, who constanly encouraged us to “open our minds”. Oh the irony. So well did they say “religious indoctrination is a form of child abuse”. Up with pasta comrades (and why can’t these idiots spot satire these days? Honestly)
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SaucyWench– RAmen to that.
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I have usually find that religious fanatics are impossible to have a civilised conversation with. They don’t listen to ANY other views, people like this seem to come for America more than anywhere else (but that’s not the point). They fix themselves around one view and that’s it…i just want to say OPEN YOUR EYES…get a balanced view at least.
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@BB .. vacuum fluctuation is great for countering the ‘how can science explain something coming from nothing’ question, but it’s even better for use against the ‘what was the First Cause? God!’ argument.
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Christians claim that everything (effect) has a cause in the natural world, and to avoid an infinite regression, an initial cause must be needed to ‘kick-start’ the creation of the universe. Their initial cause, of course, is their god. The simplistic refutation is simply to ask ‘well, what caused god?’, but they can overcome this by stating (without proof, of course) that god is eternal and so does not need to be created.
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To avoid this circular argument, casually ask ‘if we can put our heads together and think of an ‘event**’ in the real world that demonstrably has no cause, then do you agree that your argument is logically flawed?’ (** use ‘event’ not ‘effect’ because, by definition, an effect must have a ’cause’, and you don’t want to get bogged down in semantics). Of course, they won’t be able to think of an example and will be sure you can’t either. Unless they’re very well versed in modern scientific theory, they will happily agree, expecting you to come up with a trick ‘event’ (love, or ESP, or aliens or something). ‘Well, what about vacuum fluctuation?’ you ask.
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Usually they won’t know anything about Quantum Mechanics, so the only difficulty then is deciding how patronising you want to be as you give them a quick 101 intro to the whacky world of quarks, super-strings, particle/anti-particles etc. I guess it depends how much you feel their insular world-view needs shaking up. It’s good sport, but needs to be handled with care. Of course, if their ’smugness quotient’ is pushing 10, then let ‘em have it with both barrels.
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I may have gone too far when I burst into my local church wearing full pirate regalia, yelling “SUPERPOSITION” and “WAVE?PARTICAL DUALITY”, whilst handing out leaflets detailing the two slit experiment and a recipe for Penné Carbonara.
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Aha! So that was you! I was the guy sniggering at the back, as everyone turned to glare at you and the now-unobserved altar disintegrated in a cloud of uncollapsed probability waves. At least I think it did.
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oh. my. god. Are you crazy? Of course you can eat spaghetti! It was created so that mankind could more fully experience and respect their creators’ noodley goodness!!
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“Natural Selection commends savages who eliminate the weak. It commended the ruthless takeover of the Native Indian of North America, the destruction of Jews in the Holocaust, and all other acts where the powerful ruthlessly have their way. It names all who kill as better. It would name a country that destroys all others as best.
Natural Selection argues against such things as vaccinations that help the weak. It demands that the weaker not reproduce so that society not be `dragged down’.â€
@moochie: Yeah I know. This argument has so many flaws I don’t know where to even begin. First of all, Natural Selection is the process whereby some organisms in a species have certain inherited variations that give them an advantage over others.
-commendation of “savages”: Once people take “natural selection” into their own hands, it isn’t “natural” anymore.
-The ruthless takeover of Native Americans? Hmm… I don’t believe Columbus was an atheist or Pastafarian. Wait, I know, he was…
-Hitler was actually worse in trying to eliminate the natural variation of the human species. Lack of variation means the species is much more susceptible to elimination through actual natural selection (like disease).
-Those who kill as better? Nope. It’s the creatures (incl. people) who most successfully reproduce and spread their genes that are “better.” But “better” doesn’t equate to “happier”, especially in our society in which we have nearly upended the traditional focus of natural selection with medicine, overabundance of food (excluding 3rd world countries), and walls to keep us away from predators while we are still alive. The genes that have helped us in the past and explain our instinctual desires don’t help us as much anymore.
-A country who destroys all others as best? Nope. A country, i.e. China, which now has a huge population might be better, although they are now in danger of overpopulation. The U.S. is pretty good in sopping up the brightest minds and best genes along with a hearty portion of variation from everywhere else on earth.
-What do they mean by “weak”? If an insane women has already had more successfully reproducible children than you ever will (which very well could be the case), that person’s genes have already won against yours. It doesn’t even matter if you treat the person or not. In some cases, you should, so they will be less of a burden to the population, and treating them will level the playing field for you. And if you do have more successfully reproducible children than her, well then congrats to you. It’s not natural selection that demands that “weak” or insane people not reproduce, but it might be the misguided selfish interests of society.
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Sorry about the serious tone… I just hate all the straw man arguments out there. Of course, straw is such a poor imitation of his noodly goodness. Plus, we can’t even eat it!
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Ryguy, I read your page (http://www.bibleplus.org/discoveries/sodomfound.htm) about sodom and gomorrah. I’m not a geologist or anything so I can’t really evaluate most of what they said, but here’s my favorite sentence:
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“The heat had literally burned up the gold in the coins turning them to gold ash.”
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Nice dood! Gold ash! I wish I had some gold ash! Too bad gold doesn’t turn into ash…
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When the fuck did we get ice cream?
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At intermission?
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Personally I think of myself not as ‘retard’ but ‘tard again’.
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Quoth BB: “‘Although evolutionists state that … matter resulted from nothing … [this] is an impossibility of science and the natural world.’
Funny, because quantum physics – now pretty much universally accepted – says exactly the opposite. In the quantum world a vacuum is is not empty, but filled with a fizz of particles popping in and out of existence apropos of nothing (save probability). These particles usually ‘arrive’ in particle/antiparticle pairs (conserving energy) which immediately annihilate, but circumstances where they do not annihilate are possible (hawking radiation for example).
There is also no theoretical limit on the size or complexity of the matter which may pop into existence – but the probability of such events drop off pretty quickly. So it’s entirely possible that a 1000ft diamond statue of Douglas Adams could appear in orbit around the moon right now – it’s just phenomenally unlikely.
The Big-Bang could have been such an event – a hyper-massive lump of stuff and it’s anti-counterpart appear and start to annihilate – the resulting explosion blows vast amounts of matter and antimatter clear of the reaction in opposite directions.”
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It’s a bit more grounded than that. While I haven’t worked out the math myself, I have it on good physical authority that the energy of the universe is zero. Basically, gravitational potential energy is negative (the only reasonable zero state for it is complete separation of all matter at infinite distance) and cancels out the “positive” energy bound up in kinetic energy, rotational energy, vbibrational energy, and matter.
So the Big Bang might well be nothing more than a huge entropic hiccup.
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The YECs also say that the second Law of Thermodynamics states that all systems tend towards entropy, and so, therefore god must be responsible for keeping it all together.
RAmen
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Nautilus,
Nice name. I am going to presume you be one of them worshippers of the three for one deal, right? Have you ever munched on one of those flat white tasteless discs that the dude with the unleashed dog collar dishes out? Have you actually heard what he actually says before hand? “This is the body of Christ”. What he means by that I am unsure – either it is a piece of rotting flesh, a piece of an ex-dove, or a piece of your imaginary friend. Anyway do I need to go on?
I love ignorant Christians!
Rat.
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Oh yeah and thanks for letting us know that we are retarded on behalf of your friends.
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I still don’t see the big deal here?
Myself and most the people I know are retarded.
So what’s the point? “shrug”
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-Pixel Pete- ‘☺’-holy $#!^ , that is sooo cute!! How do you do that?!?!
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Retardation only means slow, by the way. So what if pastafarians aren’t all great athletes? Or if they take time to make thier decisions? Or. if. they. talk. like. this.
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@Orthadox Agnostic
Not to start an argument or anything, but how is that different from what I said?
Wouldn’t the lump/antilump big-bang basically be that same as an ‘Entropic Hiccup’? I used [very] lay terms, but both descriptions satisfy the principle of the conservation of energy.
Either way, the point that the notion of getting something [and necessarily anti-something] from nothing does NOT defy the rules of science, is something I think (hope) we can both agree on.
The total energy and total energy change may be zero – but you still get ’stuff’ where there was none, apropos of nothing – a purely probabilistic event.
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@ Fr. Corpus Callosum
Y’know, we actually just discussed the whole “Devil as the good guy” thing in my Western Civ class. Point: “Lucifer” actually means “Bringer of Light.”
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I also love when the fundies say things like, “God created everything,” take a breath, and then say, “God hates evil.” That’s a noggin scratcher, all right. Unless he made it on accident, not realizing that he’d hate it. Though that theory doesn’t fit with the supposed omnipotency.
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My other question would be this: if God has existed forever, what did he do before he created… uh, creation? Does God get bored? I mean, sitting there… alone… in the dark… I mean, what would you do in that situation? Remember the civilization in Hitchhiker that believed that the universe was created when God sneezed? Maybe it was an expulsion from a little lower in God’s anatomy.
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I’m not Pastafarian, but one of my friends is, but on your comment about the eating their diety, what about Hindus they let people eat cows, and Islamic people they let women go without the full black sheat thingy. Pretty much what im trying to say is that yes, they let other eat their god, but techniquely so does everyone else (metaphoricly speaking of course).
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Yah, i like to daydream about stuff like what if we have the wrong picture, what if Lucifer is what our view of god is. What if the Jews arent the chosen people. *sigh* now i need an Advil. But true as well what did god do before humanity? Well it says in Genesis (the first book in the bible) that in the begging there was god and the angels, so i guess if they all lived in heaven, and partied 24/7. Well i cant really say the 7 part of that because it comes from 7 days a week, and that comes from the 7 days it took god to create humanity. all in all religion is a big headache, i am christian and i am happy, you guys are pastafarian pirates, and i applaud you for making a diffrence and standing up for what you believe, i dont even have the courage to acknowledge the asswhole who sits next to me in school (im a high schooler by the way), well keep spreading the holy raveoli gossip, rember, the earth is a meat ball, its only good if its cooked all the way through. and that goes with a second creed, you cnat cook good pasta without a pirate outfit
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I find this devil thing quite interesting. ‘God is the bad guy and the devil is the good guy.’
What other kind of examples of this are their in the bible? What does the devil acturally do in the bible? Etc etc
Anyone an expert?
Thanks :P
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It appears Passing Man has no sense of humor. It also appears that Passing Man cannot recognize clever satire or an argument ad absurdum. Poor Passing Man…
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Ryguy
Dec 2nd, 2006 at 5:25 pm
‘What I meant was, God doesn’t destroy us all at once for being evil because He is patient, and is trying to save some, wanting us to believe in Him. That’s not strange, that’s compassion.’
So what exactly makes some people worth saving by the destruction of others? Even if it is to make an example to scare everyone else into behaving in the preferred manner.
To all the creationists who want to use the 2nd law of thermodynamics to disprove evolution, when work is done, entropy increases, if work is added to a system, the entropy of said system can be decreased; the overall entropy will increase however, because the work added had to come from some other system, whith is increasing entropy more than the work added to the first system is decreasing entropy.
IT IS OVERALL ENTROPY THAT IS INCREASING.
The only time the creationist version isn’t completely insane, or inane, whichever you prefer, is with a very selective knowledge of the second law, one that takes the earth as a completely closed system where entropy by definition must be increasing, the 2nd system in this case is…(drumroll please) THE SUN. Not a god.
The only truely closed system is the universe, everything in the universe has to be accounted for if you want to argue that entropy isn’t constantly increasing.
For any fundies who would like to believe that christianity came fully thought out, and didn’t just steal all the pagan festivals, the whole point of all saints day (1st Nov.) was to replace the celtic festival of Samhain. Samhain being the god of the dead. It was believed that the spirits of all those who had died during the year would rise on that night and go walkabout, bonfires were lit to keep them from getting lost and trying to return to their old homes, Samhain would be walking that night as well. So now we have all hallow’s evening.
Cristmas is the same, but I don’t know the story well enough.
Sorry for the long post, I didn’t have time to make it shorter.
RAmen
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All hail the flying spaghetti momster! he shall show us the way using his noodly appendidge! I am a new recruit, but I have changed my life-plan to PIRACY (and cosplaying in japan).
Kawaii Kitten
KK
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momster?
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Why do they all have obsessions with eating the FSM? do they mean by eating spaghetti? but thats how you worship Him! happy “Holiday”!
RAmen
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I understand spaghetti to be similar to the anglicans understanding of communion. Pasta is a representation of his noodlyness, just as the communion is a representation of the body and blood of some guy. Plus a nautilus is a member of the kingdom Animalia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nautilus
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Lets all enjoy red wine (blood of Christ), Spaghetti (the best thing on Earth and probably the Universe), and some garlic coated communion wafers.
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Why would you want red wine which tastes crap when you could have the sacred grog.
Ramen
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good point well made. But we must all bow to the might of Rum!
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How can you beleive in evolution, i mean do you see any half ape men walking around? All it is scientists using it to make people show an interest in them and hence give them money. Guys open your eyes to GOd and the Bible
Evoltuion is a LIE
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Half ape men hmm let me see? ah yes president Bush.
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@Lemon Cake
Your kind really scares me. you are faced with an insurmountable amount of evidence, then twist it and spout biblical regurgitations about “Satan in sciences clothing”. I can’t deny that some scientists work merely for the money, but all in all MANY, MANY MORE work for science itself. And what about your religion? you guys seem to have this unnacountable obsession with “passing the plate”. We pastafarians “pass the plate” as well, but it contains pasta and we don’t have to put money in it. please get a life. expect some more scientific posts about why we don’t see half ape men walking around (yourself and Bush excluded) to come soon. but I am out of time, and my ride is waiting.
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@Rodger the cabin boy
word.
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If I’m going to be theophagous, better a bowl of noodles and garlicky tomato sauce with lots of Reggiano Parmesan and garlic bread and maybe a green salad than a tiny stale cracker and a thimble of warm grape juice.
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FSM — tastes great, more filling.
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RAmen
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arrr
Ramen to that Gnocci man.
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@Lemon Cake
Oh you poor, poor child, you have been indoctrinated with misinformation and ignorance.
May His Noodliness touch you, remove the ignorance and endow you with rational capabilities.
RAmen
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@Lemon Cake: “do you see any half ape men walking around?”
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Nope. We ate them all. But in our defence, it was a very, very long time ago.
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“All it is scientists using it to make people show an interest in them and hence give them money.”
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I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume English isn’t your first language. But you do make a good point .. unfortunately (for you) it’s a point IN FAVOUR of scientific honesty and progress. You see, it’s the promise of fame, fortune and genuine break-throughs in understanding that drives most scientists. Most science is financed by the tax payer and by big business. Neither has bottomless pockets and will demand some sort of return for their investment. That can range from a better toothpaste to a more efficient way of producing energy. Remember, it’s not money that is the root of all evil, but the ‘love’ of money. Building enormous particle accelerators, or flying to the moon, may use a lot of folding green beer tokens, but then being slightly eccentric is one of human-kind’s great attractions and strengths.
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There are, of course, many examples of plagiarism, fraud and ‘bad science’ throughout recorded history, and plenty of examples of ‘good science’ used for morally repugnant ends. But that doesn’t invalidate the basics of scientific endeavour.
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The world loves novelty. If I was a scientist wanting to make a name for myself, I would be engaged in cutting-edge research, or looking to overthrow cherished theories. Before my outrageous ideas would be accepted, I would have to go through a lengthy process of experimentation, devising formulations and testable hypotheses. My work would be reviewed thoroughly by those of equal or greater understanding in my chosen field. Other scientists would try to replicate my work to check for flaws or cheating or alternative theories to better explain my results. If I am right, and I have advanced human understanding, then I would rightly be lauded by my peers. These checks and balances ensure scientific progress is kept honest. I’m glad we honour our innovators. Bloody heroes and heroines, every man Jack and wench of them. They make me proud to be human in this age of great discovery. Now, if only we can avoid the religious people blowing us all up.
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RAmen moochie
In the end only a tiny fraction of scientists get rich. Mind you, being in the field does open one up to information on the ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ of current reseach and therefore possible investment. Still many still have to teach to make a decent living.
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@Lemon Cake. Yes, you are right. Those damn greedy scientists. And English teachers, too! Damn English teachers. They are almost as evil as the scientists. They try and teach spelling and grammar and such, but they are the devil’s tools! Just like the scientists. I hate them. I hate them all. I hate them so much that we should spank them with oars. And then stick those oars up their asses! Three of them! Yes, those scientists, those heathens, those anti-Christs should be taught a lesson. Does anyone have any glue?
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I know it’s not the sacred supaglue, but would duct tape suffice?
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‘Damn English teachers.’
Let us start with the ones at bible school!
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@SaucyWench Dec 1st, 2006 at 7:57 pm
‘I think I would prefer to be referred to as “Differently-Faithed.†Retarded is such an ugly word.’
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Saucy, I prefer to be called ‘faith challenged’ myself.
RAmen
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@Lemon Cake Dec 4th, 2006 at 2:26 pm
“All it is scientists using it to make people show an interest in them and hence give them money… Evoltuion is a LIE.”
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If that was true then I would publish an article falsifying evolution as quick as I could write it. Given its universal acceptance by scientists and the fact that Darwin is a household name I would become famous overnight. The problem is that people much smarter than I have been trying to falsify evolution for 147 years and have been unable to. That would easily equate to 10’s of millions of hours work and not 1 credible attack on the core of evolutionary theory.
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“Lemon Cake: ‘do you see any half ape men walking around?’
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Nope. We ate them all.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20061204/sc_livescience/neanderthalswerecannibalsstudyconfirms
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Its always possible we are a little of both.
BTW, did your Jeabus not say “”This is my body…” and then if i recall it was bread… then these 12 men ate it…..
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Oh, Im retarded. Though, that could be the Ale talking, or writing, or whatever the hell you call this. (Can I say that? Of course, I’m sorry) Anyways, what I think you meant to say was, Everyone I know thinks. Am I retarded? You see, your mixing up your pronouns in a very thought provoking way. And to your ending, I think you meant “congrats there : Pooh” Not pee, because you pee spaghetti, unless…Excuse my nasty sh*t, but it all ends up the same colour in the end.
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Thanks for the link, One Oared Marc. Looks like we got away with it! To the victor the spoils, and the opportunity to write the ‘authorised history’.
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@ Lemon cake
Evolution does not require belief, it has occurred, is occurring and will continue to occur whether any of us mere mortals witness it or no. And your half ape men, as you call them, went extinct about three millions years ago, is why you don’t see any wakling around today.
Furthermore, maybe you should consider your ID/creationist pseudo-scientists who thrive on the multimillion dollar donations made in the name of Christianity before you go accussing evolutonary biologists of being in it for the money.
ID/creationism is the lie masqurading as science. It has no physical evidence whatsoever, only untestable supernatural explainations.
RAmen
MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian
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@ Mad John
Concussion? (from KSB thread) What have you been doing with yourself MJK?
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Hiya, Nikkiee, it’s a long story…don’t know that I’m up for it tonight…maybe tomorrow.
The good news…I’m alive.
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@ Nikkiee
BTW, did you see my post on the straw-man thread on Nov 30, 2006 at 1:46 am? It was waiting moderation for awhile, I guess. But seems to be up now. It concerns your gene similarity hypothesis. Me thinky you will likey.
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OK I was just about to log off anyway.
Take it slow and take care :)
Catch you later
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Your last post just came up! I may have seen it, but I’ll go refresh my memory.
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Ever notice how whenever there’s a fundi ranting at us on these pages the fear just seems to pour of the screen. We really do scare the hell out of these people. I will admit that there is one thing about that that does worry me, scared people are more likely to do stupid and violent things and fundis have a history of doing stupid and violent things. I keep expecting that one day I’ll turn on the TV and here that they’ve started assassinating scientists and well known atheists.
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MJK No I hadn’t seen your post ……links look great (I’ll check them out after dinner) so thanks.
RAmen
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@Jon E
Old saying “Stupid enough to be dangerous.”
In the past, I’ve had experience with people like that and they are dangerous and scarey!
I also just noticed a full moon (one of those that looks massive) coming up over the horizon here. Probably accounts for the busier hate mail posting over past 24hrs.
RAmen
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@ Nikkiee
You’re quite welcome. When I found them I knew that I had to pass them on to you.
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@ Jon E
Please don’t be giving them any ideas or they just might start bombing all of those secret multimillion dollar research labs that we evilutionists are getting rich from.
BTW, I’m back from planting the latest discovery for us overpaid scientists to find.
RAmen
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Hey everybody:) Soon it is christmas and Jesus will show The spaghetti monster who the real man is (Y)
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If they are going to do something then most likely what we say won’t affect them one way or the other.
@ Wench Nikkiee. Yep “Stupid enough to be dangerous”. Pretty much exactly what I meant. They scare anybody sensible. I used to be a christian, more than half my lifetime ago. One of the reasons I walked away was that I’d started going to an evangelical church and even at 16 I realised that there was something very wrong with these people. To be honest they scared the crap out of me. After that I started looking at what I actually believed and found that none of it made much sense. Also on moral grounds I realised I couldn’t be associated with something that has done so much total evil as christianinity.
I also have an older brother who is a fundi. He believes everything that they tell him. Over the years I’ve seen his personality almost completely subsumed by there dogma. We can trust him to do anything now, he’ll do anything for his church, but if we need him then you might as well be talking to a brick wall.
Sorry, I know I shouldn’t go into long winded justifications of myself, but some times I just vent.
Why is it those of us who have quit something are almost always the biggest opponents of that thing that we once loved?
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Oh you mean that pagan festival that the jeezus crowd turned into a huge profit making scam Kurt?
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This religion is crazy, I mean, how can you prove it?
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be nice, I am norwegian, don’t write to difficult ;)
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Hey Kurt do you actually think you little deity is going to come back and show us the way then? He’d have had to exist in the first place for that to happen. The only evidence for the existence of Essu Ben Yosef is the bible and as a source of information it stinks. It’s been rewritten and re-editted way to many times to be believable. Even St Augustine, one of the early editors, pointed out that it was all written by falible humans and so was not inerrant fact. Have your faith, but understand that that is all it is. If your faith is built upon the bible then it’s built on shifting sand and even your book warns against that.
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If your faith is built on a flying spaghetti monster you should see a doctor ;)
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Do I smell troll dung? Have mercy, dude, Kurt. Next time light a match or something.
Seriously.
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FSM is a parody and I know it. It’s here to show just how ridiculous religion really is. Christians have been responsible for some of the worst attrocities in human history. That’s not a particularly good record for a religion that’s supossed to be based on love and peace.
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hahahahhaa… you guys are funny, and crazy!! You don’t have any proof, so you just start talking about something else..
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A religion based on love and peace is a good thing, there are just too many bad humans in this world that just can’t that problems can be solved in peacefull ways..
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the last sentence should be: that just can’t see*, but i think you understood that..
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@ Kurt
Pastafarians do not worship a Fyling Spaghetti Monster as such. Rather it is the image He chose to appear to our prophet Bobby. We make pasta to honor Him the one true God of all. He could have as easily appeared as a turnip or a bagel. But the satirical aspects of the pasta, meatball, and sauce is much more ecumenical.
RAmen
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But you doon’t have any proof either Kurt. You are basing your faith on something that has been shown again and again to be false. As I’ve mentioned before, it even states in your bibel that a house built on sand is doomed.
Backing Christianity is giving justification to people who will peform any horror that they wish.
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@Jon E
“Over the years I’ve seen his personality almost completely subsumed by there dogma. We can trust him to do anything now, he’ll do anything for his church, but if we need him then you might as well be talking to a brick wall.”
.
I feel for you and your family Jon E. May your brother suddenly wake up and see the truth.
A brainwashing cult is a brainwashing cult no matter what guise it hides behind.
My best friends sister is the same. Her and her husband started taking their 11/12yo son on “sporting outings” and pulled out all the stops on the boy. But he had grown up with rational parents, so no deal. I’ve lately been informing these same friends about the pastafarian religion and they are so keen. They are not very computer literate, so I’ve promised to visit, (within a week or two at most) and put them online so they can join in.
RAmen
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You don’t have any proof, so you just start talking about something else..
Have you not seen the graph or the video of the fsm completely irrefuteable proof of the fsm.
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@Kurt Dec 5th, 2006 at 4:00 am
“hahahahhaa… you guys are funny, and crazy!! You don’t have any proof, so you just start talking about something else..”
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We have a Gospel Kurt which has NOT been re-written a thousand times over.
Yep, full moon heading your way guys.
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Probably a combination of full moon and impending flying reindeer (sp?) season.
I’m a bit rusty on the jeezuz BooK guys….what page are the flying reindeer on?
RAmen
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@Wench Nikkiee, thanks for the sympathy it is appreciated. I do try with him the thing that worries me is he now has a daughter and I’m not happy that she will be brainwashed with this rubbish as well.
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If I commented on that Jon E, I would write pages of anger, sadness and frustration.
So I’ll just say good luck and may His Noodleyness bless your way.
RAmen
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Now I am off to reheat my dinner.
Catch you all on the flipside.
Holiday & RAmen
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@ Kurt,
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‘A religion based on love and peace is a good thing’
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Absolutely bang-on right. That would be humanism. Or did you mean to say:
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‘A religion based on an apparently fictitious supernatural being, which incidentally sometimes also endorses love and peace but also sometimes doesn’t, is a good thing’
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Because if that’s what you meant, we don’t agree at all.
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@ Jon E,
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‘Why is it those of us who have quit something are almost always the biggest opponents of that thing that we once loved?’
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That’s a good question, isn’t it? How many (irritatingly) strident ex smokers or drinkers have you met?
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The reassuring simple answer is that having seen it from both sides we’re the best equipped to make confident judgements.
.
But I think it pays to be at least a little bit sceptical of our own motivation. It is all too easy, whatever your angle on things, to fall into the ‘I think X so X is true’ trap (which we so often see from our theistic detractors on this site). In our case, X is ‘having the experience of losing faith and gaining a secular perspective’. We’ve got to be careful we’re not just using the same rubbish argument as the people we’re arguing against.
.
There’s another interesting motivation which cropped up in one of the book tour journal articles on the Richard Dawkins site. In one of his talks, an audience member asked about dealing with the anger that accompanied de-conversion from religion. Dawkins was surprised and, after ascertaining that the questioner meant ‘anger at the religion and the people who had persuaded her of it for so long’, he asked the audience whether this kind of anger was a common experience. There was a passionate chorus of ‘Yes’s.
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If we’re going to achieve anything like a happy and peaceful enlightened secular society, we’re going to need to keep checking our own motivations. I find it very easy to get carried away to the point of arguing over-vehemently, saying stupid and sarcastic things and overlooking some of the weaker arguments that (otherwise very convincing) secular spokespeople sometimes propose.
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It’s a hard job fighting the corner of reason, alright.
.
Best wishes for you and your brother, by the way.
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(Sorry, @ Kurt again,
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I said: ‘if that’s what you meant, we don’t agree at all.’ I meant ‘we don’t agree *with each other* at all’. I’m not speaking for some sinister collective of irate secularists. And I’m not the Queen. Obviously.)
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I’m right.
If you disagree with me, you must be stupid.
That’s the only possible explanation.
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@ Greg,
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I’m convinced.
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“The reassuring simple answer is that having seen it from both sides we’re the best equipped to make confident judgements.”
I used to be with you guys. Now I’m Christian.
So I guess I’m equipped :D
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Ah, the confidence that stems from responding part-way through a half-read post.
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Why has thou forsaken me?, asked Jesus. What? God had forsaken Jesus! He said so himself! Well that settles it – God’s a prick and Jesus had been wrong all along! No need to read the rest of this shit…
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FUCK YOU!
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r u gay? leave my damn church alone :(
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“Why is it those of us who have quit something are almost always the biggest opponents of that thing that we once loved?”
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No great mystery here. We have a vested interest in our choices. Studies show that people are much happier with their choices after they make them than they anticipate they will be before making them.
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In other words, once we choose a side, we find ways to validate our decision. One way to do that is to attack the other side.
.
“Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert, which has very little to do with how to find happiness and much to do with how perception and the mind works, covers this topic very nicely. A great read that I highly recommend.
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OEJ
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“FUCK YOU!”
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Did somebody lose their oar again?
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ur so gay go fuk a cow
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heha fags the whole lot of u
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“ur so gay go fuk a cow”
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“heha fags the whole lot of u”
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Nothing to be said here. Your style of post ridicules itself quite nicely. Now go back to your sand box and play nice or no cookies for you.
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OEJ
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Yes, we are all gay. This is a homosexual pasta church. What’s your point?
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>“ur so gay go fuk a cowâ€
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Yee FSM! It comes to something when they can’t even spell Fuck!
Go and look a little bit more closely at the graffitti around your neighbourhood, I am sure most of them can at least spell fuck.
You may want to work on your argument a little bit too, most of us don’t actually care whether we are gay or not, this is not going to upset us. Pretty much the same as “Your Mum stands on street corners” Please stop, I am laughing so much I can’t breathe!
Try going for something with a little more credibility next time.
Erm….That was actually supposed to be posted on the bottom of the quote.
Not sure what happened there, has someone checked the ship for gremlins?
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you just spelled “neighborhood” wrong there meatstick!!!!! Good job on spelling FUCK though!
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Ah – I am from the UK. That is how we spell neighbourhood – you may even have noticed that we spell colour differently too – or maybe not.
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Jon Dough,
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You could at least try something like….
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“Your FSM is so fat, when He goes to the movies, he sits near everyone!”
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“Your FSM is so stupid, it took Him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes!”
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“Your FSM is so ugly, He tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!”
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“Your FSM’s breath is so bad, when He yawns, his teeth duck!”
.
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OEJ, so poor, I can’t even pay attention
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Jon Dough – well, we could always add garlic and cook him at 180 degrees for 20 minutes, then he’d be useful for something.
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then i do truly and sincerely apologize!!!
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Apology accepted.
We spell apologise differently too :)
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A ha. . . good to know!
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Why do people really care at all what someone else believes, I mean my buisness is not someone else’s. So why do people give a shit what we believe. We don’t go around criticizing anyone else’s views, so back off
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Well, peeden, most Christians would say that if we don’t convert soon we’re going to hell, and who wants to see that?
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I see the quality of the hatemail hasn’t improved any while I’ve been away.
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‘lo, everyone!
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@Peeden
Are you targetting us or the Christians?
just wondering, seeing as we pastafarians do this as rebuttal against a couple thousand years of religious tyrrany. And both sides widely criticise the other, in case you failed to notice. of course, only one has solid fact supporting it: FSMism. noodles and science are great combination; we get food and increased understanding of how the world actually works.
RAmen
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..so..um…yeah..
Flying Spaghetti Monster?.. This “religion” is baseless, foolish, and has no true grounds to operate on..
Running around saying water towers are gods is a better idea then this garbage..
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Hey, sane guy…
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Can you say satire? S.A.T.I.R.E?
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In this case, the use of an absurd idea to highlight the problems with one that is even worse.
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Anyway, we have a graph, an up to date gospel, pirates and a noodley god. Hardly baseless.
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So, simply put, go crawl back to your troll cave.
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@Peeden: “Why do people really care at all what someone else believes?”
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Well, it’s not the belief systems that’re the problem, it’s how people behave as a result. Take Islamic fundamentalists. They don’t just think hateful things about the infidel (that’s us, btw) .. they are prepared to kill themselves and take as many of us with them as they can. In the Middle East, Eastern Europe, and Africa, assorted tribes and ethnic groups are always at each others’ throats, frequently for religious reasons. India and Pakistan are often on the verge of starting WWIII. Catholic ‘purists’, by condemning the use of prophylactics, are at least partially responsible for the spread of HIV/Aids in a number of 3rd World nations. Closer to home, Christian Fundamentalists try to exert a disproportionate bias on matters of State, ranging from medical research to education, and from political lobbying to corporate tax status.
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In short, because many religious groups are committed, vocal and pig-headedly unwavering in pursuit of promoting their own particular brand of fantasy, the non-religious can no longer afford to remain silent. And because our arguments carry the full force of logic, empiricism and consistency, religious groups have to shout louder to try and drown us out.
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Think how public attitudes to smoking, drink driving and, more recently, obesity have changed within our life-times. When something does harm, then a combination of political will, pressure from the intelligensia, and general apathy from the great unwashed, can result in real shifts in the collective perception. We can achieve the same ostracism with religion if we are persistent. We already have the intelligensia on our side, and the silent majority generally couldn’t give a toss. All we have left are the ruling classes, who still cling to the out-moded belief that religion is the best way to subjugate the masses.
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And what do the suits and ermine-clad classes fear most of all? Ridicule! Especially ridicule by plebeians such as ourselves. We may only receive hate-mail from the brain-dead but trust me, we prick the pride and vanity of the religious power-brokers with every well-aimed barb. In the words of Dr Lazarus ..”Never give up! Never surrender!”
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Probably.
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@The only sane guy here..
Please define what “sane” is!
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my post was not an attack on any side, though it might of came out that way, I just feel (like hopefully the rest of you) that my personal buisness, or anyone else’s by the way, is there own buisness. So why would any group,be it us who follow his noodley goodness, wrapped around a sweet sauce, or christians really care. we live in america, we are supposed to be tolerant of all others despite their belief structures, so why can’t everyone just stop attacking and criticizing each other.
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Okay, here’s my adventure in the field.
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I got a phone call late the other night from some bloke needing an emergency survey and they would need it done before the weekend. They would need my report before they could begin construction. Problem was they had already broken ground and if the state office didn’t get my report by Monday they were looking at some pretty hefty fines. So of course, I doubled my usual fee.
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Silly me, I couldn’t be bothered to check the weather report before I left because the site was over an hour’s drive away and I wanted to finish the survey and get back by dark. Just when I got there, the rain came. Drizzle, at first. So I donned me mac (raincoat) and headed out across the dampening field.
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The drizzle turned into a heavy downpour. Bloody hell! Thought I was bcak in Lancashire. I still had another forty acres or so to search as the mud clumped to me wellies, but I trudged onward. As the minutes passed into hours, the cold rain became freezing rain and formed icicles on the tall weeds and the treelimbs at the edge of the field.
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The freezing rain turned to sleet and the ground began to crunch under my feet. The wind got brutally cold. The dim sunlight was getting low by the time the ground surface visibility was reduced to zero. Fortunately for the builder, having completed my survey, I found nothing to halt the construction. I had promised to call him on my cell phone after the survey to let him know, but I couldn’t get a signal. So I made for my truck up the hill.
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Long story short (too late, I know) so I tried to drive out along the icy road and I didn’t get very far before my truck slid off the road and rolled down into a deep ravine. Oh bugga….
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Bugga!!!
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I take it you managed to call someone?
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That sounds like it could have had a really bad ending. A women went over the side of a mountain near here and they didn’t find her for days. (I think it was 6 days) She managed to live and ended up losing a foot from it. The only reason she was found, was that a friend of hers actually looked in that area and on looking down the side of the mountain, caught a flash, just once and only for a second, of the sun glinting of part of the car. Otherwise the car was totally hidden from view.
That was pretty amazing.
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Sorry, I needed a break.
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When I came to, it was dark. My head was throbbing and my shoulder was bruised by the shoulder harness. I undid the seat belt and fumbled around for a torch (flashlight) somewhere in the cab of my truck. When lit, I found myself buried under a foot of snow. No bones seemed to be broken but I has a splitting headache from where my briefcase, loaded with topography maps and laptop, hit my head.
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I looked everywhere for my cell phone but couldn’t find it anywhere. Apparently, the builder became concerned when I didn’t call him, so he tried to call me. When he couldn’t get through, he came out to the site in his one-ton 4×4 with one of his labourers. He thought I had buggered off and was about to leave when hs saw the light from my torch down the ravine. They hauled me out and ran me to the hospital for a look see, or else, praise His Noodliness, I could still be out there, a frozen stiff.
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The bad news…the tow truck won’t be able to get to my truck until the snow and ice melts a bit, sometime later on theis week, they said. I did manage to salvage my briefcase and got the report out on time. Fuck all, never did find my cell phone. Oh. My. Head.
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Praise FSM Mad John. Fuck the cell phone and the truck for that matter. Sounds like you were lucky that the builder was a bit desperate for that report.
RAmen
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@ Nikkiee
Wow, I just saw your latest post about the woman who went off the mountian. Six days! They estimated that i was down there buried in the snow for only about eight hours. They kept me in the hospital overnight for observation.
Got paid rather well.
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Ooh, I forgot the best part! He wanted to build a stripper club in the small town nearby but they wouldn’t give him the permits so he’s having to build outside of town. That’s why he came to me, no one else would touch it. I get all the gooey juicy political stuff. I lurve my job!
RAmen
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Well my dog is really hassling me to tell me that she has got fleas, (her way of getting me to take her to the beach), so I’d better take the “fleabag” for a walk and a swim in the sea.
Catch you later
Holiday & RAmen
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Mad John Kidd Dec 5th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
“Ooh, I forgot the best part! He wanted to build a stripper club in the small town nearby but they wouldn’t give him the permits so he’s having to build outside of town.”
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Are you serious?
Ah… His Noodleyness definately at work there!
RAmen
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Oh oh ….now I’m getting that “I am not amused stare”.
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True story, I kid you not.
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MJK – Wow. I’m glad you’re ok.
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Thanks. I’m alright. Still a bit woozey, but I’ll be fine. Glad to be back.
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Damn… that’s nasty. Still, I guess you can’t keep a good pastafarian down.
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Anyway, good to hear you’re alright(ish).
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You guys are getting snow and my poor little puppy (a 9yo 3/4 rottweiler to 1/4 german shepherd/border collie bush reared dog ) was just now complaining that the hot sand was too hot her delicate little paws. (lol )
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@Mad John Kidd Dec 5th, 2006 at 10:27 pm
“True story, I kid you not.’
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Your efforts should have just about earned you a lifetime free pass to that earthly stripper factory.
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so i understand that you really believe this but i dont fully understand it. although you could say the same about my religion and i respect you i am just trying to grasp the concept this looks like a completly made up thing to me. we have the Bible. what do you have? just a question again im not trying to be disrespectful
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“we have the Bible. what do you have?”
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“The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”
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“so i understand that you really believe this but i dont fully understand it.”
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Thanks for being polite laura. I don’t want to start preaching at you and trying to give
you all our background in one post.
Have you read the open letter?
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@laura
Here is the link if you may have missed it.
http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/
.
RAmen
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Laura you really should look at the history of how the bible was put together before you say anyone elses religion is just made up. If you check this sight properly I’m sure you’ll find links to a few places that will inform you of how little validity it really has.
Hey Mad John Kidd glad to here you survived your ordeal. Sounded pretty harsh. Good luck mate.
@Wench Nikkiee
“Dec 5th, 2006 at 11:14 pm
You guys are getting snow and my poor little puppy (a 9yo 3/4 rottweiler to 1/4 german shepherd/border collie bush reared dog ) was just now complaining that the hot sand was too hot her delicate little paws. (lol )”
I could so go on about this. You lucky so and so. I got absolutely drenched yesterday. Though admittedly it’s a lovely autumn day today.
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@Mad Jon Kidd.
Ho Shit!
Glad you are OK, we need you to fight the fundies.
Yay for Strippers! It’s not everyone who can say their life was saved by the desperate urge to know whether a Strip club can be built or not (but then, I suppose you could say that it was that which got you there in the first place, but we’ll conveniently ignore that bit (bit like the shellfish).
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@Booty
“but we’ll conveniently ignore that bit”
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Of course we will! As a religion, that is our prerogative!!!
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@Jon E Dec 6th, 2006 at 2:42 am
“Laura you really should look at the history of how the bible was put together before you say anyone elses religion is just made up.”
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Down boy! Let’s let laura get a little more info first. After all she has been more polite, than most of our usual christian visitors.
/
“You lucky so and so.”
In a few more weeks, I’ll be wishing for winter again…. I love the winter here!
RAmen
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Wench Nikkiee so you’re in Oz. Explains the nice beaches. I’m feeling jealous. Yorkshire is wet and cold this time of year. Pretty though.
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@Wench Nikkiee
You love winter there, well I love summer here. I like watching the wild life near where I live. Always fascinating to know that I can find the fasted bird on the planet living within a mile of me, and if you’ve never seen a peregrin falcon going in for the kill in the flesh you really need to. I may live on the outskirts of a city, but there is a lot of wild life here.
Don’t know how anyone who’s interested in the natural world could put up with creationism.
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@Jon E
“Don’t know how anyone who’s interested in the natural world could put up with creationism.”
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Yeah I don’t imagine they would have much respect for it. I mean god just put nature there for his followers to rape, pillage and plunder, didn’t he.
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@Wench Nikkiee, Well that’s a pretty good analysis of what Genesis says. There have been a few people in the church over the years who have said that they have to protect “God’s Creation”, but seeing that most of them have done just the oposites. I did read about the mining projects in the US where they were blowning the tops of mountains and taking out all the available minerals. Those mines had the backing of some very powerful rightwing churches.
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Jon E – have you got a load of trees sprouting buds up there?
I am in Nottingham and all the trees and bushes around here have started budding! Some of them even have blossom on them FFS!
Get out your pirate garb quick – we are in deep trouble here!
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The leaves only just fell off the trees here in the last few weeks. I’ll have a look on the way home if I get the chance and see if anything is coming into bud. It wouldn’t surprise me though.
And to think those nice people at Exxon are trying to tell us there’s no such thing as global warming.
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Well, yeah, same here, I nearly died when I noticed the other day – and it is not just one mad tree here, it is nearly all of them!
Now I wonder why Exxon would want us to think that….might money have something to do with it?
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Global warming is a godless comunist plot to take over the world and take away freedoms, sorry i forget it’s the evil muslim terrorists who are responsible for everything now.
http://www.theyesmen.org/
check out the article on how Haliburton has solved global warming.
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Damn those Muslims – I might have known the buds on the trees would be their fault! And the communists of course.
Well, I like the idea, but I think it might be tricky to get out of when I have spent a little too long worshipping at the holy beer volcano.
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I want a SurvivaBall! Sounds loads of fun.
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‘In order to head off such catastrophic scenarios, scientists agree we must reduce our carbon emissions by 70% within the next few years. Doing that would seriously undermine corporate profits, however, and so a more forward-thinking solution is needed. ‘
Isn’t corporate responsibility great.
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Responsibility to there share holders you mean.
I find it rather ironic that the likes of the Discovery Institute are saying we should get rid of the materialist world view when they are actually being backed by some of the most materialist organisations and individuals on the planet.
I assume I’m not the only person on here to notice that most of the Creationists don’t believe in Global Warming. Then again they also don’t believe in public health services and social services, I wonder what their saviour would have to say about that.
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Mad John Kidd Dec 5th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
“Ooh, I forgot the best part!”
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I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this ad Mad John, I call it the Toyota Bugga ad, though the word actually used is Bugger. The version on you tube seems to be short of one of the best parts that was included in the ad which was shown on TV here. If anyone knows where the original can be got, I wouldn’t mind a link.
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Toyota Bugger Ad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p64yUG3VAVE
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Of course they don’t believe in global warming, everything is controlled by god(s), how could pumping lots of chemicals into the atmosphere do anything? they probably think that the sky’s blue
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Ramen scattering as I remember from my Quantum Mechanics lectures.
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Guy and Girls, find God…go to church or something please. You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it and you can’t understand God. Find some help and you’ll find faith and the truth.
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I’m sorry but i have to agree with ‘Lemon Cake’ (hence my name).
Find God, go to church or something, please!! You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it and you can’t understand God. Find some help and you’ll find faith and the truth!!!
“Guys open your eyes to GOd and the Bible
Evoltuion is a LIE”
Agree with 100&
Best Wishes
Carrot Cake
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Sorry 100%
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And by the way: Perhaps Lemon Cakes first language isn’t English but there’s not reason to you use it agaisnt him/her. Stick to the argument please.
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Well hello again lemon cake, I see you brought some backup with you this time. No doubt more pastafarians will be along shortly to greet your ignorance.
You only believe in gOd and the biBle because that is what you were taught.
Much as I’d love to stay and play, I can’t because it’s shopping day. You won’t have to wait long though.
RAmen
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Why should we stick to the argument Cupcakes?
We are just trying to stop our children being brainwashed into a load of bollocks in school.
Do you know my child who is 6 told me he was drawing pictures of “Mary” today?
His younger brother said “Oh! Mary, Mungo and Midge?!” – A 1970’s cult TV show from the UK
Teeheehee!
I think it is less dangerous to expose them to that – and they encourage children to go and play on building sites.
Have a nice time being holier than the rest of us.
I’ll meet everyone else by the beer volcano.
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Maybe they are not staying to play after all. Bugga!
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Hmmm…..’carrot’ cake and ‘lemon’ cake….gee, I wonder if they’re the same person? [/sarcasm] They’re both blind enough to be. “go to church or something please.” Does a temple/mosque count, or does it have to be a Christ-loving House Of The Lord? (I laugh at the irony of someone who takes the bible word for word telling us we need to find the truth.)
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‘You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it’
I’m sure we had some evidence for evolution.
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Oh dear. Now we have fruitcakes. Why should we go to church or something when we have this queer-ass religion worshipping pasta? So much more fun!
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Go to church? Well, an interesting thing recently happened to me. The FSM has actually brought me closer to darkening the doorway of an actual church! I was driving by a local branch of the Unitarian Universalist Church, the only church I could ever stomach for more than one sermon. I used to take my children there when they were young because my ex-husband and his now ex-wife (vicious, loathesome bitch) were taking them to very frightening fundi churches and filling their minds with garbage. I had to counteract it with something, and the UUs were perfect. I actually found some kind of community there, and two of my children are now non-fundi teenagers with keen, curious minds. Anyway, I thought as I drove by this church that maybe I should go back to the church I went to just for me. I’ve never had that thought before. The desire comes from a quest for community and belonging, and an ongoing spiritual path. See, the thing is that the message I got from the UUs was from a variety of sources, but the message was all the same. The Flying Spaghetti Monster would be welcome there.
* I must have a disclaimer here. I referred to my ex-husband’s now ex-wife (divorce is final today) in an ugly way, but this in no way reflects the teachings of the UU Church. That’s just me. I’ve got some peace to make with the damage this woman has done to me and my family “in the name of God.” (Yes, she’s that screwed up.) She certainly didn’t win over any converts in my circle of family and friends. Maybe she did when she was in prison for embezzlement, but I’m not sure.
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Why does it have to be one or the other? Why can’t it be a joke *and* we be retarded? I want noodles *and* rice!
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@Mad John Kidd: I’m glad you’re still with us! Luckily, you lived through it and have an adventure story to tell (in the true pirate tradition) It’s scary to think how bad it could have been. 8 hours concussed and freezing is a long time.
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@Carrot Cake:
‘Find God, go to church or something, please!! You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it and you can’t understand God. Find some help and you’ll find faith and the truth!!!’
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I think you have it backwards. My experience as a (now ex) Christian is that the preachers lie and lie and lie because they are getting your money without having to work for it, having sex with the parishioners, and performing other unsavory acts. They know that if you believe their god/creation/bible drivel you will believe almost anything, no matter how ridiculous.
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It’s YOU that only believe in the bible because you were taught to. It’s a classical form of self-delusion that all of us who used to be Christians know from experience. There is no evidence whatsoever for god, the bible stories, or creation science.
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Your faith is like believing that the Easter Bunny made the moon last month and that everyone who disagrees is brainwashed. It’s just nuts!!!
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@SaucyWench: I’ve heard many good things about the UU church, and I’ve known some good people who belonged to it.
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It’s interesting that the more loathsome and preachy the fundy, the more likely they are to harmful to everyone around them and to have done time in prison. The vast majority of the people on death row are jesus-christers and most of them were jesus-christers when they committed their crimes.
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I’m glad they’re here to advise me on living a moral life.
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RAman
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HE MADE YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK HIM? FUCK YOU BUDDY. FUCK, YOU.
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Hail FSMonster! Take me into your noodly embrace! Bless me with beer and strippers! Aaarrrr!!!
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Here’s the problem with pastafarianism. elron invented a religion as a gag some fifty years ago, and now its adherents attack fresh-faced airheads on television, or go on rampages against prop sofas. A bunch of hippies invented a sex religion with a chubby goddess, and now there are thousands of hippies who take it all seriously. Mark my words, in fifty years the church of the flying spaghetti monster will be flogging heretics with fettucini.
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@Amo
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I hope so! I know that I’d let any of these comely wenches flog me!
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I’m a heretic!
I’m a heretic!
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Sorry, Amo, but THE problem with Pastafarianism is YOUR problem. Besides, if the fundis have their way we won’t be here in fifty years to debate the issue, now will we? Somehow, I never saw the concept of forty lashes with a wet noodle as much of a threat. But we’ll be sure to keep that in mind.
RAmen
MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian
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@ Fr. CC
Thanks, I actually slept rather well last night and got my appetite back this morning. Had the “full English” for breakfast. Nice to be back.
RAmen
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@ Saucy Wench—Maybe she did when she was in prison for embezzlement, but I’m not sure.
Hahaha…somehow, this does not suprise me. Self-righteous indignance can be hilarious when it’s not so frustrating. Keep the faith. May the Sauce be with you.
RAmen
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The Fruitcakes—You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it and you can’t understand God. Find some help and you’ll find faith and the truth!!!
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A) You are either the same poster or,
B) You both just came from the same brainwashing session.
Either way, you know nothing of science and are hardly capable of passing judgment on something you do not understand. Having said that, thank you for your heartfelt concern, but we’ve found our God. And you are in Our Church here, so please, show a little respect and keep your gOd to yourself.
RAmen
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@ Nikkiee—Dec 6th, 2006 at 7:02 am
Had not seen the Toyota Bugga advert. That’s brilliant! I know exactly how they feel. There’s that moment when you know it’s too late to do anything about it and just hold on for the ride.
RAmen
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Did somebody eat the cupcakes?
Come on, admit it, we will forgive you, I am sure you were very hungry.
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@ Mad Jon Kidd
The more I think about it the more cold shivers it gives me.
I think the golden rule is make sure you have your mobile phone somewhere easy to get at – and wear thermal underwear.
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@Fr. Corpus Callosum, got to agree with you about life as an exchristian. Thankfully I got out when I was a teenager. I saw through the people who were trying to sell me a crock of shit. I started looking at what their ilk had done in the past and realised that there is no way I wanted to be associated with that.
@Amo, L. Ron started his little religion to make money, plain and simple. He knew exactly what he was after.
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Lemon Cake-” find God…go to church or something please. You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it and you can’t understand God. Find some help and you’ll find faith and the truth”
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You only believe in God because YOU were taught it and can’t understand evolution, find some help and you’ll find sentience.
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so there.
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I had to go to church as a kid, i also got an education. i looked at the evidence. God lost big style.
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@Spider, you and me both.
Just because they believe they seem to think they have every right to hit the rest of us over the head with it.
I’d be rather curious to know how many of the people who go to church actually believe. I’ll put odds on it not being as many as they would like us to think.
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Maybe the reason the’r all so desperate to get converts is because they have no way of shutting up the pesky liitle voice in the back of their heads that insists on talking sense…
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I long ago realised that there are three basic types of evangalist:
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1: The true believer, who is arrogant enough to think that everything s/he believes is the absolute truth.
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2: The coward, who is absolutely terrified that what s/he believes is wrong and hasn’t the guts to admit s/he may be wrong and so has to justify him/herself by pushing it on everybody else.
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3: The nutter, this one speaks for itself. To insane to judge one way or the other wether they are right or wrong.
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Most are actually a combination of all three to a greater or lesser extent.
:
As I think most of us have said before, fear can make these people very dangerous.
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@Amo Dec 6th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
“Mark my words, in fifty years the church of the flying spaghetti monster will be flogging heretics with fettucini.”
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I prefer hanging with perfectly cooked noodles myself. Well, maybe we could add just a little extra salt.
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I’m sure some people would really enjoy being flogged with fettucini. Never eally got the S&M thing myself or the self flagulation thingy that many fundis seem to go for.
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God is a man made creation too, you know.
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fg
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God is nothing more than a finite being created by man to represent the concept of infinity that he cannot grasp.
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This is funny… everyone I know thinks I’m retarded, too. I have to wear a helmet outside.
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@JB- Have you ever read Douglas Adam’s esay “Is there an artificial god?”
You can fing it in The Salmon of Doubt. I encourage everyone to read it actually, very interesting.
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ahem……………….. did you ever take a look at the last supper………….the whole thing is mostly about them eating his body,blood and soul do some reasearch before you say something whoever you are
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This is my body, which has been given up for you…
Now, eat me!
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Nobody eits theri god? “Corpus Christi” “The body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ”
Caase rested.
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god has written all over it that it made up by man. for christs sake, it was made up when people didn’t have cars or electricity. they didn’t even go to space. wtf people, there is no god.
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>>”To be able to confuse the support of a satirical argument with clinical retardation requires damn near complete lack of observational skills, OR a serious mental deficiency.
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Any bets on which one I suspect it is?”
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Trying that again… (HTML and I don’t get along)
Jingles said “To be able to confuse the support of a satirical argument with clinical retardation requires damn near complete lack of observational skills, OR a serious mental deficiency. Any bets on which one I suspect it is?”
Jingles, we have to pick one? I’m betting for the strong likelihood of both.
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RyGuy you have been deceived by the Lasagna Leviathan. His noodles may seem fresh and true, but they are only a perversion of the one true Noodle- for it is said that he can masquerade as a being of pasta. He will one day turn sour in your stomach and drag you into the great Lake of Marinara. Remove the fork of your mind from his dark plate, and twirl only righteous FSM noodles in your heart. Do not ignore our scientific evidence. We have eyewitness pirates. All who have been touched by a noodle cannot deny His power. Place yourself in his spicy meat, and your life shall bear delicious flavor and untold Spaghettic bliss beyond your imagination.
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Me Amz Chiustiun tooZ ,,, i arz no belevve insh da sphgooty munshter
DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Uho I go poopie
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Whyz no onz talkz to mhe is becuz im blakz anz t it yo racizt buaterds
PS imz notz blakz
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i amz the smurtizt nonbeluver heur
youz shouldz all fallosk me to fuight thems
pastamutahruabctruglljdzghh whatevers
nowz i cleun my guna
loosk in the barrum uhh whats thus doo?????????
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggzx zvrz…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………esgvnisz
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@Jimbo Jones Dec 16th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
‘Whyz no onz talkz to mhe is becuz im blakz anz t it yo racizt buaterds
PS imz notz blakz’
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I no think anyone speak your language.
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yesh theys doos u rz al liur
il poop on youz
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Huh?
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thank god it sounds like hes killed himself
thank FSM
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Rossiiskaya, how do u get the i i kratkaya and ya to show up on replies?
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Satire
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Satire (lat. medley, dish of colourful fruits) is a technique used in drama and the performing arts, fiction, journalism, and occasionally in poetry and the graphic arts. Although satire is usually witty, and often very funny, the primary purpose of satire is not primarily humour but criticism of an event, an individual or a group in a witty manner.
you stupid hate mailing one minded idiots.. get the point….
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Comments like this can really hurt. “everyone thinks you’re retarded”. I don’t know how anything original gets done without isolation.
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Dont Christians “drink the blood” and “eat the body” of Christ? Pwnt
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you must have a lot of free time on your hands to go on a ranting diatribe of other peoples riligions. i am deeply sorry.
P.S. get a girlfriend
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TRIX Dec 1st, 2006 at 7:45 pm
Nobody seems to understand that man created spaghetti in FSM’s image! As well as eating spaghetti, a communion of FSM, is a blessing! Fools.
Isn’t Nautilus a sub? And a bed? and a pokemon
The pokemon you’re thinking of is Omanyte. Unless nautilus one of the 31415926535 new ones that have come out since the original 150. Sure I’m responding to a mesage that was posted a month ago, but what the hell.
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OH we need to ?????? ok now im confuzed. DUDE an invisoble god that we pray to and answers us
THATS A LOAD OF BULL!!! go see a phycayatrist (spelling) and let us belive in our noodle and sauce : )
clear dumbass?
noodle
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hey noodles…. ( im a noodle 2) wats in te gospel i want to no before bying it
GO NOODLES!!!
RAmen
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There is a fair bit of stuff in Wikipedia :)
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yo noodles we will re- unite with martinara
noodle blees u all
RAmen
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thats a very interestin question, joke or retarded?
i think its beyond that really, a strong amount of clinically insane, with a monkeys ass instead of a brain.
p.s. how can we make actual hate mail, i dont wanna make comments about hate mail.
gosh!
jo x x x x x
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All concepts of God are man made.
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Jo – email Bobby – see FAQ’s for his email addy.
I would say try using your brain, but you probably don’t have one.
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@ jo n her widom speakin out dudes! Jan 10th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Bobby’s e-addy is in the ‘about section’ at the top of the page. Christ on a bike, do you need to be spoon fed?
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Wooo Booty. Spooky!
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Great minds Alchemist! Or is that fools rarely differ? ;)
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“THATS A LOAD OF BULL!!! go see a phycayatrist (spelling) and let us belive in our noodle and sauce : )
clear dumbass?
noodle “….Oh my, my, my. This could get ugly. Dear FSml, Thank-you for your interest in our COFSM. Your enthusiasm is GREAT! I appreciate your interest. We have a little-known way of worshiping, a very special and important way. It is called ’silent meditation’. When we feel really strongly about our faith, we take several weeks and sit quietly, away from our computers, and ponder the meaning of what it is to be a pirate….
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Hehehe – I don’t know about you, but I doubt you’d get good odds, from the bookies, for me being the former :(. I really need an intelligent 17 (or 19) year old to show me how to think.
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The title of this thread should be…
Eleven year olds only… No growed ups allowed!
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nice try maxwell
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I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain.
Isn’t that the first Condiment?
This isn’t really a joke; more like a social commentary. I see this as a group of brave souls trying to defend our children from being brainwashed further by the establishment.
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Ramen Church! Ramen
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His Most Noodly Self must not be mocked.
May you see the power of His Most Holy Noodly Appendage. rAmen.
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Malaclypse the Younger would be ashamed of you all. If you’re going to make a statement either go the whole way, and completely screw with establishment, and exclude all these poor diluded unbelievers! A religion that allows blasphemy against its deity is either over-confident or a complete joke…
The only way to get respect is to start getting hardcore!
You should feel horrible! (or at least your tummys should be upset
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I believe the FSM made the universe because he wanted a bit of company.
You know someone to share a flagan of grog with in a warm place on a cold eternity.
He didn’t create it as an ego trip.
Do you really want to spend your leisure time with a bunch of sycophants?
You want healthy conversation, grog and if the conversation dies a bit – strippers.
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I have three problems with this asshole. 1) If this is not his religion why does he discriminate it.We did not force him to read this but he felt it was his ‘duty’ to call us retards for believing different. 2) The word retard is morally offensive. People cannot help how they are born just as they cannot help what they believe. 3) agreeing with saint john the blastphemist in the fact that catholics say that bread and wine is their lord and they eat it too and does this asshole go on christian websites giving them shit. For his own health i hope not. To conclude, FUCK THIS ASSHOLE AND HIS BULLSHIT COMMENT!!!
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Fez is right why do you have to say our religion i shit when your also saying the same thing about your religion every thing you sayed about us is true for you
ASSHOLE
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@everybody
I’m wondering if it’s really worth it to respond to people who have trouble making sentences (but please excuse my typos). Of course, it might also be worthless to respond to people who seem to have too much anger to deal with. We can’t help them and arguing with them is like the straw man thing. So where’s the fun?
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bill tomlinson Feb 4th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
@everybody
I’m wondering if it’s really worth it to respond to people who have trouble making sentences (but please excuse my typos). Of course, it might also be worthless to respond to people who seem to have too much anger to deal with. We can’t help them and arguing with them is like the straw man thing. So where’s the fun?
.
Bill, no it’s not worth responding to them.
But if we didn’t, Thump would end up talking to himself again.
Which is worse?
That I just don’t know?
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everytime you eat spaghetti, you embrace our Lord and Maker by accepting his spiritual life force into your body.
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“its fucking spagetti! people EAT IT!”
this mail is great. like a soccerplayer who kicks the ball into the wrong goal…
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Wurst,
I ate your kid for dinner tonite!
No shit! Brat Wurst.
Now is that odd or what????
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Wurst. Nice try but not really nasty enough. Sorry :)
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@ Antawn
actually, I think Malaclypse the Younger would be too stoned out of his gourd to care. I know a few Discordians, and I even tried out Discordianism. now, I may be crazy, but I’m not crazy enough for those guys, they’re weird crazy, I’m just funny crazy.
All hail Eris
Ramen
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