How can a thing made by man be god? its fucking spagetti! people EAT IT! why would you let people EAT your god? Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there :P
-Nautilus
The Church of the FSM is always looking for content. Details here
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
Purchase from
Amazon.com
Purchase from BN.com
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Add these buttons to your site:
Bobby's Blog
Contact Bobby: Contact Me
|
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License. This means you're free to use the content but not sell it. More Details |
‘You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it’
I’m sure we had some evidence for evolution.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh dear. Now we have fruitcakes. Why should we go to church or something when we have this queer-ass religion worshipping pasta? So much more fun!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Go to church? Well, an interesting thing recently happened to me. The FSM has actually brought me closer to darkening the doorway of an actual church! I was driving by a local branch of the Unitarian Universalist Church, the only church I could ever stomach for more than one sermon. I used to take my children there when they were young because my ex-husband and his now ex-wife (vicious, loathesome bitch) were taking them to very frightening fundi churches and filling their minds with garbage. I had to counteract it with something, and the UUs were perfect. I actually found some kind of community there, and two of my children are now non-fundi teenagers with keen, curious minds. Anyway, I thought as I drove by this church that maybe I should go back to the church I went to just for me. I’ve never had that thought before. The desire comes from a quest for community and belonging, and an ongoing spiritual path. See, the thing is that the message I got from the UUs was from a variety of sources, but the message was all the same. The Flying Spaghetti Monster would be welcome there.
* I must have a disclaimer here. I referred to my ex-husband’s now ex-wife (divorce is final today) in an ugly way, but this in no way reflects the teachings of the UU Church. That’s just me. I’ve got some peace to make with the damage this woman has done to me and my family “in the name of God.” (Yes, she’s that screwed up.) She certainly didn’t win over any converts in my circle of family and friends. Maybe she did when she was in prison for embezzlement, but I’m not sure.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Why does it have to be one or the other? Why can’t it be a joke *and* we be retarded? I want noodles *and* rice!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Mad John Kidd: I’m glad you’re still with us! Luckily, you lived through it and have an adventure story to tell (in the true pirate tradition) It’s scary to think how bad it could have been. 8 hours concussed and freezing is a long time.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Carrot Cake:
‘Find God, go to church or something, please!! You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it and you can’t understand God. Find some help and you’ll find faith and the truth!!!’
.
I think you have it backwards. My experience as a (now ex) Christian is that the preachers lie and lie and lie because they are getting your money without having to work for it, having sex with the parishioners, and performing other unsavory acts. They know that if you believe their god/creation/bible drivel you will believe almost anything, no matter how ridiculous.
.
It’s YOU that only believe in the bible because you were taught to. It’s a classical form of self-delusion that all of us who used to be Christians know from experience. There is no evidence whatsoever for god, the bible stories, or creation science.
.
Your faith is like believing that the Easter Bunny made the moon last month and that everyone who disagrees is brainwashed. It’s just nuts!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@SaucyWench: I’ve heard many good things about the UU church, and I’ve known some good people who belonged to it.
.
It’s interesting that the more loathsome and preachy the fundy, the more likely they are to harmful to everyone around them and to have done time in prison. The vast majority of the people on death row are jesus-christers and most of them were jesus-christers when they committed their crimes.
.
I’m glad they’re here to advise me on living a moral life.
.
RAman
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
HE MADE YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK HIM? FUCK YOU BUDDY. FUCK, YOU.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hail FSMonster! Take me into your noodly embrace! Bless me with beer and strippers! Aaarrrr!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Here’s the problem with pastafarianism. elron invented a religion as a gag some fifty years ago, and now its adherents attack fresh-faced airheads on television, or go on rampages against prop sofas. A bunch of hippies invented a sex religion with a chubby goddess, and now there are thousands of hippies who take it all seriously. Mark my words, in fifty years the church of the flying spaghetti monster will be flogging heretics with fettucini.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Amo
.
I hope so! I know that I’d let any of these comely wenches flog me!
.
I’m a heretic!
I’m a heretic!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Sorry, Amo, but THE problem with Pastafarianism is YOUR problem. Besides, if the fundis have their way we won’t be here in fifty years to debate the issue, now will we? Somehow, I never saw the concept of forty lashes with a wet noodle as much of a threat. But we’ll be sure to keep that in mind.
RAmen
MJK, Orthodox Pastafarian
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Fr. CC
Thanks, I actually slept rather well last night and got my appetite back this morning. Had the “full English” for breakfast. Nice to be back.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Saucy Wench—Maybe she did when she was in prison for embezzlement, but I’m not sure.
Hahaha…somehow, this does not suprise me. Self-righteous indignance can be hilarious when it’s not so frustrating. Keep the faith. May the Sauce be with you.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The Fruitcakes—You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it and you can’t understand God. Find some help and you’ll find faith and the truth!!!
.
A) You are either the same poster or,
B) You both just came from the same brainwashing session.
Either way, you know nothing of science and are hardly capable of passing judgment on something you do not understand. Having said that, thank you for your heartfelt concern, but we’ve found our God. And you are in Our Church here, so please, show a little respect and keep your gOd to yourself.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Nikkiee—Dec 6th, 2006 at 7:02 am
Had not seen the Toyota Bugga advert. That’s brilliant! I know exactly how they feel. There’s that moment when you know it’s too late to do anything about it and just hold on for the ride.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Did somebody eat the cupcakes?
Come on, admit it, we will forgive you, I am sure you were very hungry.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Mad Jon Kidd
The more I think about it the more cold shivers it gives me.
I think the golden rule is make sure you have your mobile phone somewhere easy to get at – and wear thermal underwear.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Fr. Corpus Callosum, got to agree with you about life as an exchristian. Thankfully I got out when I was a teenager. I saw through the people who were trying to sell me a crock of shit. I started looking at what their ilk had done in the past and realised that there is no way I wanted to be associated with that.
@Amo, L. Ron started his little religion to make money, plain and simple. He knew exactly what he was after.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Lemon Cake-” find God…go to church or something please. You only beleive this stuff about evolution because you were taught it and you can’t understand God. Find some help and you’ll find faith and the truth”
.
You only believe in God because YOU were taught it and can’t understand evolution, find some help and you’ll find sentience.
.
so there.
.
I had to go to church as a kid, i also got an education. i looked at the evidence. God lost big style.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Spider, you and me both.
Just because they believe they seem to think they have every right to hit the rest of us over the head with it.
I’d be rather curious to know how many of the people who go to church actually believe. I’ll put odds on it not being as many as they would like us to think.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Maybe the reason the’r all so desperate to get converts is because they have no way of shutting up the pesky liitle voice in the back of their heads that insists on talking sense…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I long ago realised that there are three basic types of evangalist:
:
1: The true believer, who is arrogant enough to think that everything s/he believes is the absolute truth.
:
2: The coward, who is absolutely terrified that what s/he believes is wrong and hasn’t the guts to admit s/he may be wrong and so has to justify him/herself by pushing it on everybody else.
:
3: The nutter, this one speaks for itself. To insane to judge one way or the other wether they are right or wrong.
:
Most are actually a combination of all three to a greater or lesser extent.
:
As I think most of us have said before, fear can make these people very dangerous.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Amo Dec 6th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
“Mark my words, in fifty years the church of the flying spaghetti monster will be flogging heretics with fettucini.”
.
I prefer hanging with perfectly cooked noodles myself. Well, maybe we could add just a little extra salt.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I’m sure some people would really enjoy being flogged with fettucini. Never eally got the S&M thing myself or the self flagulation thingy that many fundis seem to go for.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
God is a man made creation too, you know.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
fg
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
God is nothing more than a finite being created by man to represent the concept of infinity that he cannot grasp.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
This is funny… everyone I know thinks I’m retarded, too. I have to wear a helmet outside.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@JB- Have you ever read Douglas Adam’s esay “Is there an artificial god?”
You can fing it in The Salmon of Doubt. I encourage everyone to read it actually, very interesting.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ahem……………….. did you ever take a look at the last supper………….the whole thing is mostly about them eating his body,blood and soul do some reasearch before you say something whoever you are
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
This is my body, which has been given up for you…
Now, eat me!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Nobody eits theri god? “Corpus Christi” “The body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ”
Caase rested.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
god has written all over it that it made up by man. for christs sake, it was made up when people didn’t have cars or electricity. they didn’t even go to space. wtf people, there is no god.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
>>”To be able to confuse the support of a satirical argument with clinical retardation requires damn near complete lack of observational skills, OR a serious mental deficiency.
.
Any bets on which one I suspect it is?”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Trying that again… (HTML and I don’t get along)
Jingles said “To be able to confuse the support of a satirical argument with clinical retardation requires damn near complete lack of observational skills, OR a serious mental deficiency. Any bets on which one I suspect it is?”
Jingles, we have to pick one? I’m betting for the strong likelihood of both.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
RyGuy you have been deceived by the Lasagna Leviathan. His noodles may seem fresh and true, but they are only a perversion of the one true Noodle- for it is said that he can masquerade as a being of pasta. He will one day turn sour in your stomach and drag you into the great Lake of Marinara. Remove the fork of your mind from his dark plate, and twirl only righteous FSM noodles in your heart. Do not ignore our scientific evidence. We have eyewitness pirates. All who have been touched by a noodle cannot deny His power. Place yourself in his spicy meat, and your life shall bear delicious flavor and untold Spaghettic bliss beyond your imagination.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Me Amz Chiustiun tooZ ,,, i arz no belevve insh da sphgooty munshter
DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Uho I go poopie
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Whyz no onz talkz to mhe is becuz im blakz anz t it yo racizt buaterds
PS imz notz blakz
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i amz the smurtizt nonbeluver heur
youz shouldz all fallosk me to fuight thems
pastamutahruabctruglljdzghh whatevers
nowz i cleun my guna
loosk in the barrum uhh whats thus doo?????????
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggzx zvrz…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………esgvnisz
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Jimbo Jones Dec 16th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
‘Whyz no onz talkz to mhe is becuz im blakz anz t it yo racizt buaterds
PS imz notz blakz’
.
I no think anyone speak your language.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
yesh theys doos u rz al liur
il poop on youz
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Huh?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
thank god it sounds like hes killed himself
thank FSM
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Rossiiskaya, how do u get the i i kratkaya and ya to show up on replies?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Satire
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Satire (lat. medley, dish of colourful fruits) is a technique used in drama and the performing arts, fiction, journalism, and occasionally in poetry and the graphic arts. Although satire is usually witty, and often very funny, the primary purpose of satire is not primarily humour but criticism of an event, an individual or a group in a witty manner.
you stupid hate mailing one minded idiots.. get the point….
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Comments like this can really hurt. “everyone thinks you’re retarded”. I don’t know how anything original gets done without isolation.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Dont Christians “drink the blood” and “eat the body” of Christ? Pwnt
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
you must have a lot of free time on your hands to go on a ranting diatribe of other peoples riligions. i am deeply sorry.
P.S. get a girlfriend
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
TRIX Dec 1st, 2006 at 7:45 pm
Nobody seems to understand that man created spaghetti in FSM’s image! As well as eating spaghetti, a communion of FSM, is a blessing! Fools.
Isn’t Nautilus a sub? And a bed? and a pokemon
The pokemon you’re thinking of is Omanyte. Unless nautilus one of the 31415926535 new ones that have come out since the original 150. Sure I’m responding to a mesage that was posted a month ago, but what the hell.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0