How can a thing made by man be god? its fucking spagetti! people EAT IT! why would you let people EAT your god? Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there :P
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster was clearly not made by man. We have documentation which shows this. See the illustration of His Noodliness creating a mountain, some trees and a midgit.
May you see the error of your ways and be touched by his Noodly appendage.
The Noodle Toucher.
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@OEJ: The story of lot is just about my favorite story in the Bible: Rape, incest, drunkenness, pillars of salt, and almost everyone getting killed by god. What more could we ask for? Huzzah for sex and violence!
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Hah! Yeah, I havn’t read that story in a while… I’m ashamed! Well, you are right, but it is not reflective of the standards of modern Christianity to offer your daughters to a blood-thirsty mob =D
And please look past my obvious mis-interpretation and ignorance in dealing with Scripture I havn’t reviewed in a while. We all make mistakes from time to time.
Thanks for pointing that out One Eyed Jack!
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But also I must point out, if God does not confront and destroy evil, is He good?
Yes, evil exists in the world because God is patient and wants men to believe in Him, but God also did act to destroy Soddom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities.
Please check out : http://www.bibleplus.org/discoveries/sodomfound.htm
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@Pixel Pete: “über-pasta†or “spæghetti†I love it! It’s the Platonic archetype of ‘pastaness’ in which all pasta participates: a sort of ‘meta-pasta’.
Ramen, Brother, Ramen
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This is hate mail? Where’s the Hell fire, where’s the death threats, where the hell is the ass raping with oars?
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How can a thing made by man be god? its fucking ANTHROPOMORPHIZED DIETY! people WORSHIP IT! why would you let people WORSHIP your god? Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there :P
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-Cap’nUberbob
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Ryguy Dec 2nd, 2006 at 1:32 pm
“Yes, evil exists in the world because God is patient and wants men to believe in Him”
That god is a very strange thing to believe in!!
@Just Guess
I miss the oars too :(
RAmen
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@Ryguy: The problem I have with the God of the Bible is that he seems to be evil. I’m not trying to be offensive, I’m trying to present a point of view.
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Imagine God as a parent who says he ‘loves his children unconditionally’. One of his children does something that is absolutely against the rules of the household; something that the parent considers to be an abomination. The parent is sad, because he loves his child, but the infraction must be punished. So he kills the child. He didn’t want to do it, but the child drove him to it by breaking the rules, and breaking the rules must be punished.
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Now imagine that the parent is arrested. He’s brought into court and defends himself by explaining his case to the judge exactly as it happened: ‘I loved my child, but he did something abominable, something that is totally against my rules for the house, and abomination must be punished, so I had to kill him’. What do you think the judge would say?
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Do you see the problem? The god of the bible comes off as a evil, raving, psychotic.
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The Devil seems to me to be the good guy of the bible story. He’s on man’s side, he wants him to learn and mature. God punishes Adam and Eve for eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the Devil helps them to eat it. God kills the whole population of the world in the bible. Devil kills about 10 people, and that’s with Gods permission ’cause they have a bet.
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I really don’t see the big deal here either.
I’ve been called much worse then a retard. I remember this one time…
I think it was at band-camp, somebody had the nerve to call me a CHRISTION!
Ya wanna talk about how far up an ass an oar can go?
HOLY splinters! I just am not offended by this “retard statement”.
I know not what I am not.
Huh?
Ramen
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Brothers and Sisters, oars are redundant. If god is everywhere, he is up your ass.
Thankfully, the same cannot be said of his noodliness.
RAman!
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But think of the oars. They’re going to waste, and that’s terrible.
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@Swabbies Bucket
Someone called you a christion the bastard i would have plundered their home for such an insult!
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@Just Guess
‘But think of the oars. They’re going to waste, and that’s terrible.’
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Bill over on the ‘FSM Money Stamp’ thread might like one (or two).
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I just hope with the new school year, They’ll finally take me off the short bus.
I haven’t picked my nose in over a week now….
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A very merry Pastamass to us all.
Even to the heretic Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Mormons, Scientologists, Seventh Day Adventists, Jedi Knights, Jews, Followers Of The Cult Of Mithras, Hindus, Sikhs and The Worshippers Of The Divine Pratchett, Creator of The Holy Discworld. Ramen and Arrr.
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Trekkies too?
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Start Trek isn’t heresy. I think we should make it the official Sci-fi show for Pastafarianism.
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Wench Nikkie Dec 2nd, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Ryguy Dec 2nd, 2006 at 1:32 pm
“Yes, evil exists in the world because God is patient and wants men to believe in Himâ€
That god is a very strange thing to believe in!!
@Just Guess
I miss the oars too :(
RAmen
What I meant was, God doesn’t destroy us all at once for being evil because He is patient, and is trying to save some, wanting us to believe in Him. That’s not strange, that’s compassion.
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http://emporium.turnpike.net/C/cs/top.htm
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Cap’nUberbob, where you get idea for your name. That turns out to be my Online Halo name.
Aaaaaanyway, my friend’s parents, being fundies, said they were “worried for my soul.” They thought I was getting into a cult, and that I would go to hell. I pity them.
RAmen
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Oh Lord won’t ya buy me, a Mercedes Benz, and give me the power to naturally select,
who I want to survive!
Ramen
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Ryguy, you are full of shit. How about we take responsability for our own actions using our intellect and sense of morality, not some fairy tale.
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Umm Ryguy .. why on earth did you leave us that link? Have you read it? Here’s a taster of one of the supposed arguments against evolution (I kid you not)..
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“Natural Selection commends savages who eliminate the weak. It commended the ruthless takeover of the Native Indian of North America, the destruction of Jews in the Holocaust, and all other acts where the powerful ruthlessly have their way. It names all who kill as better. It would name a country that destroys all others as best.
Natural Selection argues against such things as vaccinations that help the weak. It demands that the weaker not reproduce so that society not be `dragged down’.”
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I don’t know whether to piss myself laughing, or be mortally offended. Is this your idea of an intellectual discourse that accurately reflects the basic tenets of Natural Selection? Is this how Christians really think? Good grief, Charlie Brown.
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@ moochie, Just do what I do.
Laugh at the stupid, for they know not what they say.
Ramen
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More from that link .. you really must read it. It’s hilarious. Here are the top 6 reasons why Natural Selection has “severe logical inconsistencies”:
1. That living things are suited for their environment better explains the fact that they were created for it not that they evolved into it.
2. Similarity among living things points to a common design by a designer who used similar patterns.
3. Similarity among living things does not point to evolution. “There is no more reason to believe that man descended from some inferior animal as there is to believe that a stately mansion has descended from a cottage.”
4. It only makes sense that there would be similarities among living things since they all share the same environment. For example, since we all share air, it makes sense that many would have lungs.
5. It only makes sense to create things similar since similarity allows people to identify and work with other living things more easily.
6. In fact, if the environment controls natural selection and we are all from the same ancestor (some single cell or whatever), why is there such variety in the world? With the same ancestor and precipitator, would all not have been brought to at least close to the same end? Instead some living things are cells and plants, others are horses and people.
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Yup, folks, we’ve been rumbled by the egg-heads. Point #3 is the killer for me. My humble hovel won’t evolve into a stately mansion, no matter how much paint I throw at it. Sigh .. why was I so blind?
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I burst into laughter every time I read point #6. And point #5. I’m beginning to wonder if the whole thing isn’t just a piss-take. Anyway, I just wanted to thank Ryguy for posting it .. it’s now saved as a favourite. Priceless!
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@Moochie:
Amazing! The scales have fallen from my eyes! I’m amazed by their clever, clever insights. Number 5 seems to mean that there is no similarity except what people make. Tres existential! I love the irony.
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Why, oh why, do christians never answer my ‘evil god’ posts? *sob, sniff*
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My sides ache. Gotta leave you one more piece of spectacular scientific insight:
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“All the matter we see, the sun and so forth, are said by evolutionists to have begun by a mixture of gases in the atmosphere. But, from where did the gases come and where did even the space for them come? Science cannot account for something coming from nothing (and neither can common sense account for it) and this is not to even mention the complexity of matter which even adds to this absurdity. In fact, as mentioned, when you have nothing, you do not even have the space for the something that is to come from it.
In addition, without the sun, etc., there would be no gravity. Therefore, those supposed gases from which all things supposedly come would simply disseminate into space not draw together to form anything.”
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Ah, me. Why would people have any possible concerns about letting such scientists loose in our classrooms? No wonder the aliens are reluctant to make contact .. how dangerous and crazy we must look.
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That books seems… unique. Without mass there would still be gravity, just no source thereof. Also, there were no atmospheres before the planets formed, as such things require planets. The List of 6 (devil’s number. Eh?) Is contradictory in so many ways, a good laugh. One of the links suggests that “Something cannot come from nothing”. Now, paronez moi if I am wrong, but did God and Life not come from nothing?
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All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray
I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day
I’d be safe and warm if I was in L.A.
California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day
Stopped in to a church I passed along the way
Well I got down on my knees and I pretend to pray
You know the preacher liked the cold
He knows I’m gonna stay
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That should do it.
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@No one in particular: The source of my merriment is a web-site (link posted by Ryguy about a dozen posts up). It would be wonderful if it was available in book form, though. I would carry it everywhere and embarrass Creationists to death by quoting from it at length.
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I’m not sure there would be any gravity if there was no mass in the universe. What’s funny about the quote is the author’s assumption that gas has no mass. I’d love to see his/her face when presented with a news item about the tons of CO2 released into the atmosphere as the result of various processes. ‘It floats’ he’ll wail ‘how can it have a weight? How would you hold it on to a set of scales? How do clouds hold up all that rain? My brain hurts’ etc. God has no answer to this conundrum. Pressure applied in a downwards direction by a noodly appendage, however, is both necessary and sufficient. QED. See? It’s fun to play at science. Yay! Sorry .. Yarr!
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Nor does the Bible explain gravity, unlike the theory of Intelligent Falling.
From what I can see, the Bible is nothing but a collection of fables, invented so that the slaves and peasants of the day would stop asking “Why?” Religion is nothing but an excuse to prevent anyone from thinking of anything above and beyond their place in life.
I suggest you guys read Titan by Stephen Baxter. Decent book, but the scary part is where the Christian fundamentalist gets elected to president. Long story short, it caused the Chinese (those wonderful little people who were inspired to create noodles in our creator’s likeness) to destroy the world.
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its funny that you think we are retarted… we have the exact same ideas as you just our diety does not take the form of his creations…that would be dumb!! Our diety does though allow us to visualize him and absorb some of his noodlyness by eating pasta. BTW all my friends think your retarted :P
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@ Ryguy – regarding “I’m a man that needs to trust Jesus Christ as my savior. As do all of you.”
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How dare you tell me what I need to do based on what you believe. What if I was an adamant proponent of daily enemas for personal salvation and, out of the goodness of my heart, told you that you also need a daily high colonic. Would you rush to the nearest health care store or wherever one buys such things because a complete stranger told you that you must do it or suffer eternal constipation and buildup of dangerous toxins? I don’t think you would. If you need to trust Jesus Christ as your savior, good for you. Leave me alone. If you told me that you’re just fine, thank you, and you don’t need daily bowel cleansing, I would leave you alone. I’m telling you that I don’t need your version of God, so please accept that and move on.
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-SaucyWench, just don’t bother with this guy,you heard him, ‘HE NEEEDS JESUS-BABY!’ just let the baby have his bottle and come talk to us on wife shooter thread. He can’t save your soul if your not here, right?
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“Although evolutionists state that … matter resulted from nothing … [this] is an impossibility of science and the natural world.”
Funny, because quantum physics – now pretty much universally accepted – says exactly the opposite. In the quantum world a vacuum is is not empty, but filled with a fizz of particles popping in and out of existence apropos of nothing (save probability). These particles usually ‘arrive’ in particle/antiparticle pairs (conserving energy) which immediately annihilate, but circumstances where they do not annihilate are possible (hawking radiation for example).
There is also no theoretical limit on the size or complexity of the matter which may pop into existence – but the probability of such events drop off pretty quickly. So it’s entirely possible that a 1000ft diamond statue of Douglas Adams could appear in orbit around the moon right now – it’s just phenomenally unlikely.
The Big-Bang could have been such an event – a hyper-massive lump of stuff and it’s anti-counterpart appear and start to annihilate – the resulting explosion blows vast amounts of matter and antimatter clear of the reaction in opposite directions.
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@BB,
It’s also possible for Earth to undergo Total Existence Failure (Where every atom of earth suddenly ceases to exist at once) but the odds are so low that Earth has a higher chance of splitting into two planets, one made of iron, the other, statues of Douglas Adams. Douglas Adams made TEF up. He was awesome.
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RyGuy,
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I applaud you for admitting your error. Many wouldn’t.
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Now I encourage you to emply the same attitude and get a better understanding of evolution. The sites you have linked in your various posts are horribly misleading. They are filled with distortions and outright lies — Lies and distortions that have been refuted decades ago.
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If you are interested in making an honest attempt at understanding the facts, you should spend time reading the other side of the issue from sources not motivated by a religious agenda.
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OEJ
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Oh thank you, some one finally refutes the God-Boy with a bit of basic Quantum Physics. They just don’t bother to look up what is right and what is wrong. I was taught Biology in my final year of high school by a fundementalist Christian (and i live in New Zealand, which is practically a secular society guys, read it and weep, religious people are relatively rare). Despite having a superb grasp of biology and evolutionary theory in general, he just couldn’t resist pointing out all the flaws as we poor students choked through a mountain load of theory. I checked up on all the “flaws” he claimed put the kibosh on evolution for good on the net, being the curious guy I am, and found at least 3 different refutations for each of these, well thought out arguments by guys with lots of letters after their names. And that was an educated Christian, with a degree, who constanly encouraged us to “open our minds”. Oh the irony. So well did they say “religious indoctrination is a form of child abuse”. Up with pasta comrades (and why can’t these idiots spot satire these days? Honestly)
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SaucyWench– RAmen to that.
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I have usually find that religious fanatics are impossible to have a civilised conversation with. They don’t listen to ANY other views, people like this seem to come for America more than anywhere else (but that’s not the point). They fix themselves around one view and that’s it…i just want to say OPEN YOUR EYES…get a balanced view at least.
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@BB .. vacuum fluctuation is great for countering the ‘how can science explain something coming from nothing’ question, but it’s even better for use against the ‘what was the First Cause? God!’ argument.
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Christians claim that everything (effect) has a cause in the natural world, and to avoid an infinite regression, an initial cause must be needed to ‘kick-start’ the creation of the universe. Their initial cause, of course, is their god. The simplistic refutation is simply to ask ‘well, what caused god?’, but they can overcome this by stating (without proof, of course) that god is eternal and so does not need to be created.
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To avoid this circular argument, casually ask ‘if we can put our heads together and think of an ‘event**’ in the real world that demonstrably has no cause, then do you agree that your argument is logically flawed?’ (** use ‘event’ not ‘effect’ because, by definition, an effect must have a ’cause’, and you don’t want to get bogged down in semantics). Of course, they won’t be able to think of an example and will be sure you can’t either. Unless they’re very well versed in modern scientific theory, they will happily agree, expecting you to come up with a trick ‘event’ (love, or ESP, or aliens or something). ‘Well, what about vacuum fluctuation?’ you ask.
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Usually they won’t know anything about Quantum Mechanics, so the only difficulty then is deciding how patronising you want to be as you give them a quick 101 intro to the whacky world of quarks, super-strings, particle/anti-particles etc. I guess it depends how much you feel their insular world-view needs shaking up. It’s good sport, but needs to be handled with care. Of course, if their ’smugness quotient’ is pushing 10, then let ‘em have it with both barrels.
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I may have gone too far when I burst into my local church wearing full pirate regalia, yelling “SUPERPOSITION” and “WAVE?PARTICAL DUALITY”, whilst handing out leaflets detailing the two slit experiment and a recipe for Penné Carbonara.
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Aha! So that was you! I was the guy sniggering at the back, as everyone turned to glare at you and the now-unobserved altar disintegrated in a cloud of uncollapsed probability waves. At least I think it did.
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oh. my. god. Are you crazy? Of course you can eat spaghetti! It was created so that mankind could more fully experience and respect their creators’ noodley goodness!!
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“Natural Selection commends savages who eliminate the weak. It commended the ruthless takeover of the Native Indian of North America, the destruction of Jews in the Holocaust, and all other acts where the powerful ruthlessly have their way. It names all who kill as better. It would name a country that destroys all others as best.
Natural Selection argues against such things as vaccinations that help the weak. It demands that the weaker not reproduce so that society not be `dragged down’.â€
@moochie: Yeah I know. This argument has so many flaws I don’t know where to even begin. First of all, Natural Selection is the process whereby some organisms in a species have certain inherited variations that give them an advantage over others.
-commendation of “savages”: Once people take “natural selection” into their own hands, it isn’t “natural” anymore.
-The ruthless takeover of Native Americans? Hmm… I don’t believe Columbus was an atheist or Pastafarian. Wait, I know, he was…
-Hitler was actually worse in trying to eliminate the natural variation of the human species. Lack of variation means the species is much more susceptible to elimination through actual natural selection (like disease).
-Those who kill as better? Nope. It’s the creatures (incl. people) who most successfully reproduce and spread their genes that are “better.” But “better” doesn’t equate to “happier”, especially in our society in which we have nearly upended the traditional focus of natural selection with medicine, overabundance of food (excluding 3rd world countries), and walls to keep us away from predators while we are still alive. The genes that have helped us in the past and explain our instinctual desires don’t help us as much anymore.
-A country who destroys all others as best? Nope. A country, i.e. China, which now has a huge population might be better, although they are now in danger of overpopulation. The U.S. is pretty good in sopping up the brightest minds and best genes along with a hearty portion of variation from everywhere else on earth.
-What do they mean by “weak”? If an insane women has already had more successfully reproducible children than you ever will (which very well could be the case), that person’s genes have already won against yours. It doesn’t even matter if you treat the person or not. In some cases, you should, so they will be less of a burden to the population, and treating them will level the playing field for you. And if you do have more successfully reproducible children than her, well then congrats to you. It’s not natural selection that demands that “weak” or insane people not reproduce, but it might be the misguided selfish interests of society.
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Sorry about the serious tone… I just hate all the straw man arguments out there. Of course, straw is such a poor imitation of his noodly goodness. Plus, we can’t even eat it!
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Ryguy, I read your page (http://www.bibleplus.org/discoveries/sodomfound.htm) about sodom and gomorrah. I’m not a geologist or anything so I can’t really evaluate most of what they said, but here’s my favorite sentence:
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“The heat had literally burned up the gold in the coins turning them to gold ash.”
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Nice dood! Gold ash! I wish I had some gold ash! Too bad gold doesn’t turn into ash…
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