How can a thing made by man be god? its fucking spagetti! people EAT IT! why would you let people EAT your god? Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there :P
-Nautilus
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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No this isn’t a joke. We are retarded.
Tell me, do you post the same thing to Catholic websites? They regard the communion wafers & wine as the body & blood of Christ and they EAT IT!
We aren’t the only people who eat our deity.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Chocolate Jesuses
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wow, good for you. did you know that a nautilus is similar to an ammonite, a similar creature of which died out millions of years ago. yea, thought so
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Don’t consider it eating as much as becoming one with FSM.
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Oh heavens, Nautilus. Does your mommy let you on the computer all by yourself?
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Nobody seems to understand that man created spaghetti in FSM’s image! As well as eating spaghetti, a communion of FSM, is a blessing! Fools.
Isn’t Nautilus a sub? And a bed? and a pokemon?
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Over 4000 years ago, the first strand of spaghetti was made by a would-be-named prophet, not from his own intellect or ingenuity, but through him. Our Al Dente Deity spoke words of inspiration; “Thou shall make thine source of nourishment in my noodley image”. Man then saw the beauty that was pasta, and the Lord, Flying Spaghetti Monster, saw that it was good. One is closest to his Parmesanian Piousness when consuming the essence of his noodley love.
You must believe my brother!!
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I think I would prefer to be referred to as “Differently-Faithed.” Retarded is such an ugly word.
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Everyone here thinks your de de de, retard. Congratulations.
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Once again, arrrgh, it’s those that lack any humorous bones in their wee bod’s that are all too vociferous in their nasty, ignorant diatribes.
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We have eaten the body of xrist. We WILL NOW eat sustenance of the Noodly Master.
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Yum.
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And, obviously you are hanging with those who are NOT in the know.
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@St. John
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Before FSM, I have to admit that I was into chocoholism. It was the truth, the medium through which I had a bond in soul and spirit.
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I am saved.
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I have seen the lightness of Boyardee Brightness. And whole wheat linguini’s loveliness. Not to mention Asiago Angels – I believe this is a cut above Parmagiana Piety.
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Eat a god? That’s, like, totally nuts. Only a totally whack religion would eat a god.
Christians, now, they’re a sensible bunch. They’d never eat their….oh, yeah… never mind.
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Ba-dum-bum-CHING!
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Holy FSM. I bow to thee. Please give me a portion of your flesh for dinner. YUM…
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Doh!
Of course we are retarded.
Whatever reason could there be?
I mean we educate ourselves, we make our own decisions, we don’t allow a church to brainwash us. Of course we are retarded. Doh!
Thing that gets me, is you are talking to us retards?
That’s kinda stupid, don’cha think?
Tiiimmmmmyyyyyyy
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If we are retarded, how did we manage to make a website, gain lots of support, publish a freakin’ book, and play with your head?
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To quote Nautilus;
“Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there”
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Woohoo!
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The idiots just keeps reinforcing our views of them!
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To be able to confuse the support of a satirical argument with clinical retardation requires damn near complete lack of observational skills, OR a serious mental deficiency.
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Any bets on which one I suspect it is?
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Hey you guys out here.
I grew up, old school catholic.
Any of you guys? Remember the school girls keeling for communion? Putting the wafers in their mouths?
HOLY shit! No wonder I’m retarded!
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“I feel good, and I knew that I would”
60 pamphlets and people coming up asking for more!
“I feel fine…..”
RAmen
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dude, your an idiot fuck. i don’t go round insulting other religions (parden my spelling) so why are you insulting ours its equaly if not more posible than watever belive you you so clearly love and obses over.
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My mother was a catholic gal who married the son of a united church minister. Catholics excommunicated her and told her that her children would be bastards and deformed.
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Nice huh?
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I toughed it out. Not a bastard. Not deformed.
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So there!
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Pasta sauce on ‘em all.
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a) I’m only mildly retarded
b) Eating Pasta is how we worship smarts
c) I doubt we would care about what your friends (who are probably as nice as you are) think.
:D
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***why would you let people EAT your god?***
You ask this question and it confuses me. Why would we ‘let’ people eat our god. ‘Let’…hmmmm… Do you control what others do to your god? Is your god not omnipotent? Omnicient? Does your god require protecting? By you? ;-) This question that you rather ignorantly pose reveals your thought process in an unfortunate manner. You seem to suggest that we all control our gods. That we must maintain our gods…protect our gods. Like our children…we must cultivate and keep safe our fragile creations. Don’t let anyone eat your god, otherwise you might have to spend a lot of FUCKING
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time making up another. Sorry folks, for some reason I get bent out of shape discussing this subject.
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I guess I missed the eating part.
If I eat my god, it would only be because, it tastes so GOD DAMN GOOD!
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Poke’mon these days. just can’t catch the satire.
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I’m sure I could be extemely retarded, if I chose to stick my head in the sand and just blame everything on my imaginary friend ,(who loves me, by the way) . But I choose rationality over ignorance. Maybe not easy for some, but so worth it! Just imagine eating spaghetti like eating jeezuz body when you consume the host. No diff!
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Swabbies Bucket Dec 1st, 2006 at 9:43 pm
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“Any of you guys? Remember the school girls keeling for communion? Putting the wafers in their mouths? HOLY shit! No wonder I’m retarded!”
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Hormones Swabbies, hormones!
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Oh how cute. Little Nautilus thinks he’s all smart and stuff with his incredible logic and advanced powers of observation. And his friends are smart too!
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These people kinda annoy mw. For the last time “THE FLYING SPAGHATTI MONSTER IS GOD”, and eating pasta is simply a tribute to GOD. Get it??????
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“protect our gods. Like our children” hmm… I’m pretty sure “the bible” teaches that our children are not important and our daughters should just be thrown out to the mob to be raped… Just ask Lot (Genesis 19: 7-8)… what an ugly religion
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I love it when you guys quote scripture back at the ignorants. I haven’t read the book.
RAmen
ps Heathen Pride?
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@Swabbies Bucket
OK Swabbies, I clicked your name. I saw no buckets or grapes?
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“Everyone I know thinks you are retarded, so congrats there :P”
-Nautilus
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Oh no……anthing but the “everyone else I know thinks what I do” thing.
Quick …run away …run away
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‘why would you let people EAT your god?’
Catholics beleive they are eating their god at communion, we baeleive we are eating a divine gift granted to us by him that is in his image. We do not eat the FSM have you ever seen anyone eating flying spaghetti?
‘Everyone I know thinks you are retarded’
How does our faith make us retarded ours has emperical evidence which is more than christianity which has one book that contrdicts itself constantly. You simply blindly follow what you were told with out questioning anything we have we on the other hand come to conclusions using logical conjecture based on observable evidence.
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Well, the Bible doesn’t teach that women should be raped and thrown to the mob, that section about Lot was describing how horribly messed up the city of Sodom, Gomorrah, and even those surrounding cities were; so horribly sin filled that the men of the city would roam it at night, raping whomever they could get their hands on. Because Lot followed middle-eastern customs of hospitality, taking men under your roof required you to protect them to the death by expending whatever you had for them (he hadn’t recognized that the men he was with were actually angels that had come to warn him to leave because of the impending destruction of the city) (which if you analyzed the soil around modern day Sodom and Gommorah and the surrounding cities you would find immense amounts of salt and balls of pure sulfur [http://www.bibleplus.org/discoveries/sodomfound.htm] only around those cities, with no clear reason as to why those traces are there becase there are no geographic features that would explain them) and Lot was more afraid of the punishment he thought he would recieve if he gave over these messengers to be raped by the mob (who only wanted the men and not his daughters, but killed them anyway after raping them in spite).
Actually, what the Bible teaches is that these cities were so incredibly wicked that God destroyed them as a warning to those that would practice the same kinds of evils.
Don’t get me wrong, God is patient and kind, but He’s also just and hates evil (and multiple cities filled with murderous sex-crazed rapists… that just doesn’t seem like a ‘good’ thing to me)
Disclaimer: I’m not a very precise speller and my grammer isn’t the best, sorry about that. Also, I’m not insulting homosexuals, murderers, rapists, or even you simple sex-crazed maniacs; I’m just saying what the city was full of. If you truly read what the Bible teaches you will see that all men fall short of Gods glory and deserve hell. I’m no worse or no better than a homosexual in Gods eyes; I’m a man that needs to trust Jesus Christ as my savior.
As do all of you. Good day!
Romans 3:23 : for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
Romans 6:23 : for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:3-4: For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day accordin to the Scriptures
Romans 10:9-13 : that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
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Oh, and when I said “simple sex-crazed maniacs” I wasn’t calling all of YOU simple minded sex-crazed maniacs, I was saying ‘or even those of you who are simply sex-crazed maniacs.’
I wasn’t insulting anyones intelligence and I’m not being sarcastic right now.
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I also will say it’s unfortunate that the first person to post said something so vile. I do not believe that I eat my Lord Jesus Christ when I take communion (I’m not catholic) because the Scriptures say men are saved by believing in Him, not eating Him. And no where does it say in Scripture that I must take communion to have a relationship with Christ; the Scripture recounts Christ commanding that it be done to remember Him and His promises until He comes again, and nothing more.
Also, I understand this website is a satire and I take no offense; in fact, I find it quite humourous and if I was drafted, I would fight/die for you to have the ability to say the things you’re saying. I do believe the Scripture is true, but I do not slight you in the least for not believe the same thing I do or living differently than myself (how can I hold you to my standard when the Scripture says that it would be impossible for you to please God without faith in Him? Why should I try to make you live to please Him then?). I do hope you would eventually come to know Him because the life of true belief in Christ (and not the fake belief, which currently fills America, that I am grieved you all see everyday) is amazing and sweet, filled with all the good things of life; purity, comfort, love, and joy.
Also, I don’t want to see any of you seperated from God (the one that knit you together in your mothers womb) for all eternity. It would really suck.
Thanks again =D
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So many different versions of christanity. Will the “real” religion please stand up and be identified?
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Ryguy,
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Before you begin arguing scripture, maybe you should read it more carefully.
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1) “he hadn’t recognized that the men he was with were actually angels that had come to warn him to leave because of the impending destruction of the city”. Lot most certainly recognized the strangers as angels: Genesis 19 1-2 “1 … When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 ‘My lords,’ he said, ‘please turn aside to your servant’s house…” Obviously Lot knew them to be angels.
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2) “Lot was more afraid of the punishment he thought he would recieve if he gave over these messengers to be raped by the mob (who only wanted the men and not his daughters, but killed them anyway after raping them in spite).” The Bible never mentions Lot having fear of retribution if he gives up the angels to the mob. The Bible never says that the mob rapes or murders the daughters (how could they later become pregnant by their father if they were dead?). It only says in Genesis 19 8 “…I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men …” The angels strike the mob blind before they can carry out their threats. Given all this, it remains revolting to offer your daughters to a mob as a solution. And to think God considers Lot to be a good man.
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I highly encourage everyone to read the full story of Lot in Genesis 19. It’s a short read and a remarkable example of what passes for good in God’s eyes.
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OEJ, Ship’s Navigator
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Holy crap, One Eyed Jack! If your wallet doesn’t say “Bad Mother Fucker”, it should!
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@ankla1.com
Why?
I know you are probably used to believing in unrealistic things, but here’s a hint: wallets can’t talk.
Sorry to burst another one of your bubbles!
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Wow there Nautilis, we aren’t actually eating our God, you have to remember, pasta was created in His image, He wasn’t created in pasta’s image. Therefore, one could argue that He isn’t actually “made” of spaghetti but rather some mystical and powerful material that can pass through normal matter(that is so Star Trek☺). Have you ever seen spaghetti that can pass through normal matter? Thought not!!!
That’s why I don’t think He’s made of “spaghetti” so to speak, but more of “über-pasta” or “spæghetti”(yay symbols!!!).
RAmen
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Why don’t people get this? Didn’t you pass High School English? It’s a joke! A satire! It’s making fun of organized religion and fundamentalism! Seriously, you must be retarded if you can’t take a second to realize that. Those people who are unable or refuse to understand the genius of this idea are the reason for which America is slowly spiraling into a theocratic pit of death, terror, atrocities, prejudice, warmongering and fundamentalism. Please, do civilization a favor and go die.
Thank you for your time,
Optimus Prime, Leader of the Autobots, Savior of Cybertron and Pasta Afficionado
RAmen
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Wench Nikkiee Dec 2nd, 2006 at 2:29 am
@Swabbies Bucket
OK Swabbies, I clicked your name. I saw no buckets or grapes?
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@ Nikkiee and everybody, Sure I could link to grapes in a bucket.
But if you click on me name, you will get me saying hi to you!
Be sure your sound is on.
Peace and Love
Ramen
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People don’t get the satire because they can not comrehend anybody else not believing in the bible. Unfotantely that comes from a wicked circle. Typically all christians science education is ruined after about 9th grade, because that is usually when Darwinism is first discussed. since they never study any science above about 9th grade, they are unable to learn advanced concepts in science like genitics, carbon dating, and evolution etc.. It is in these advanced classes that the proof of evolution lies. They never learn these study these subjects, and their priest tells them they are false. They know no better. Unfortunately I see no way to break the cycle.
I read a book the death of evolution, I stongly recommend this book it is worth a million laughs. Almost as many laughs as the speghetti bible. the creationists are actually looking for Noah’s ark. The author also like to mention the 2nd law of thermodynamics as proof there could be no evolution.
There is no logic in any of them. The argument is hopeless.
although this site is always worth a million laughs, but we are trying to explain evolution to someone with a 9th grade education is tough.
Dan
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yeah, it’s interesting how creationists never really read much pro-evolution literature (which is the only good reason I can thick of that they keep trotting out the same arguments, that or stupidity. Uhhh, what I really mean is that when I bought “the god delusion” by Richard Dawkins it was clear that all the negative reviews of the book were by fuddies who hadn’t actually read it.) Myself and I think most atheists take the time to read their books and their websites, if only to laugh and pull apart their pathetic reasoning.
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@ThatWenchyCharacter
what ankla1.com was saying about OneEyedJack’s wallet reading “Bad Mother Fucker” is a Pulp Fiction reference. It appears he is supporting OneEyedJack’s trouncing of Ryguy’s arugument utilizing a superior knowledge of the bible.
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I agree…..People are retarded for believing so strongly in something that we created…..I mean, come on, God? What a ridiculous idea! Oh, wait…you were talking about FSM! Humans created god to explain things that we couldn’t understand…simple as that. Why don’t you compare people from the bible, and prophecies and events to some of the ‘untrue’ Pagan beliefs? I think you’ll find some amazing similarities. If all other religions are wrong, and millions believe in them…what the fuck makes yours right? Not a damn thing.
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@ankla1.com
Apologies ankla1. I was a bit fired up over something somewhere else.
RAmen
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@Peter
Thanks for putting me straight. Just so used to the fundies calling us all mother fuckers.
RAmen
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my beliefs kind of correlate to ID, but I relly don’t want to be associated with the hardline nutjobs who want it taught as science.
I see ID as just a souped up version of the old watch-watchmaker argment (mmm, soup, I’d join a religion based on that!) and it belongs in either a religious sudies or at best a philosophy class.
Sure, you can attack evolution in science, but to make the leap from that to saying “ooh, there must be some sort of all powerful overmind who tinkers with cells” is ABSOLUTELY unscientific.
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