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This idea or bullcrap that you invented is blasphemy and I do believe that you need to stop or you will burn in hell.
-joseph goss
The Church of the FSM is always looking for content. Details here
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Get a load of this; Pat Robertson said god TOLD HIM that there would be another terrorist attack in 2007. He went on to say this; “in May, Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America’s coastline in 2006.
Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring’s heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction. ” So, if it rains in New England, then Robertson was right??? This crap gets CNN’s attention and they go with the story. Robertson is an advisor to many in washington. And christians say WE are nuts?!? Oh, BOBJACK….Don’t need your help. We can get our message across without SHOUTING and fu*king this and fu*king that. Thanks anyway. Go play in the street.
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COFSM ABHORS CAPS LOCK?
AND JUST WHEN I WAS GETTING TO LIKE THE GUY!!!! (JOKE)
AS I AM A GUEST HERE………please accept my apologies.
Maxwell – “Don’t need your help. We can get our message across without SHOUTING and fu*king this and fu*king that.”
I wasn’t trying to help you get your message across. I was trying to express my opinion.
It sounds like you are not doing much fucking. It is great. I would heartily recommend you do it as often as possible. Also, fucking is spelled with a c, not a *.
Swearing is a bit like religion, you either believe someone has the right to express it or you don’t.
I think everyone has the right to do whatever they please.
If you do not think I should be allowed to express myself in my own words, feel free to think I am a fucking idiot.
I am never offended by what others think of me.
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Also, Maxwell?
If you want to lower your reply to me to childish levels…….. YOU go play in the street…… with yo momma!
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pat robertson is a joke. i don’t think that is news to anybody.
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@Maxwell
“Robertson is an advisor to many in washington.”
Oh no not serious, the first paragraph was enough for me. I thought maybe Ted was a one off. FSM bless Australia. America has my utmost sympathy.
RAmen
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@BOBJACK_JACKBOB
Here is a hint. If you go onto any forum posting in caps, you are going to get burned.
Are you new to the net perhaps?
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i don’t know what BobJack is so pissed off about. if this is a parody site promoting a joke, then why is he so mad. if he were a fundie, then i would see why
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Wench Nikky – I’m not new to the net. The reason I posted in CAPS is because my name is in CAPS. This is the same name I use on lots of sites and programs. I have never been “burned” before for this (does burned mean “get in trouble about”?). Admittedly I have only posted on a couple of sites before.
jesus christ – I’m not particularly pissed off about anything. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. I replyed to the post at the top of this page because it annoyed me (slightly) that someone who believes in one stupid religion (christianity) was having a go at some other people because they believe in a different stupid religion (cofsm).
Also,
I would not class this as “a parody site promoting a joke” any more than a church is a parody building promoting a joke…………. no wait, I actually agree with both statements. But do they piss me off? Not in themselves. The petty people who frequent churches do when they start to tell me what I should think and how I will suffer if I dont agree with them. Please do not turn this into a place where people are only allowed to contribute if YOU agree with what they are saying.
I don’t care if people agree with me or not but I believe strongly that people should not be persecuted for their beliefs. Yes, I think that all religions are a joke but that is up to me. If someone has religious beliefs I don’t hold it against them. Yes, I frequently tell religious people that I think they’re fucking idiots, but usually only after they tell me I am going to burn in hell for all eternity…..
People should understand that their beliefs are no more valid than anyone else’s.
P.S.
Please excuse my ignorance, but what is a fundie?
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@BOB JACK
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as i have told numerous people, i just pretend there’s a FSM. The people here who say they believe in it are just fooling around. please, don’t actually fall into the trap that people here are literally serious. it’s justm a parody. i don’t see why you;re pissed off at us if we parody a certain religious ideal (creationism). dude, if anything, i’m on your side. religions are jokes, definitely. come on man, i shouldn’t argue with you, i like to argue and piss off fundies.
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a fundie is slang for fundamentalist (also known as a christian extremist that nobody likes).
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also, i’m atheist and i’m a skeptic
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the way i see it, we;re on the same page. if you want to see the people who really hate this site, look at the hate mail section. there you’ll find some humour because it’s all true.
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@BOBJACK_JACKBOB; It was probably the CAPS that irritated me most. We get SHOUTED AT alot here. I don’t mind that you think Pastafarianism is a joke. I’d encourage you to read the “Open Letter’ to the Kansas School Board. You’ll see that we have a lot in common, specifically, disdain for others’ pushing their religious BS beliefs onto us. And, I don’t know what a fundie is either. Sorry.
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BOBJACK, YOU’RE FULL OF IT. IF YOU WERE AN EXPERIENCED POSTER YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT NOT POSTING IN CAPS.
A fundie is an extremely religious person who believes that people who have fun should die. Fun = Die.
Does macaroni have any significance in this FSM religion?
I like spagetti, but I actually prefer kraft dinner. With ketchup.
Probably, the body of Jesus would taste better with ketchup.
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jesus christ – In response to your comment “please, don’t actually fall into the trap that people here are literally serious.” Dont worry, I didn’t. I admire the cofsm becuase here is a religion and a congregation that knows it is a joke. If only all other religions and religious people would aknowledge the fact that they too are a joke….. what a wonderful world that would be……… for me anyway.
When I found this site It brought much joy to my life!!!! I felt like Peter on the road to Damascus!!!!! I thought to myself “this is wonderful!!!! And they also like pirates!!!!
Then I read the hate mail.
This is where I found the message I originally replied to.
I replied to it because just when I was seeing the fun side of religion some fucker comes along and proclaims it to be blasphemous. I took offence at that, not because I believe in the f.s.m. but becuase I knew that person would also believe me to be blasphemous and would like me to think like them or SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES AND BURN IN HELL!!!!!
Fuck that and fuck them.
On a different note I would just like to say that my favourite thing about pirates is the gleam in their eye.
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ARRGH! Methinks Bobjack is truly a pirate at heart! Climb aboard land-lubber and sail the open seas with us! We also have beer volcanoes and a stripper factory to look forward to in the after life! ARRRRRRGH!
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Noeviltwin – What part of “Admittedly I have only posted on a couple of sites before.”
did you not understand?
I have probably doubled the amount of posts I have ever made just by posting the five or so here, today.
Maxwell – I have indeed read the letter to the school you speak about. It was inspiring. So inspiring I felt I had to contribute in some way.
Hence the posts.
P.S.
I also think pirates have the coolest flag (except for maybe Japan. I don’t know why, but I like theirs very much as well).
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@ BOBJACK_JACKBOB
Hi there! Sorry you got a bit of a backlash, once you have been around a bit you will understand there are a lot of nasty people out there who scream and shout a lot, and people tend to get on the defensive a bit, once it is clear it was a misunderstanding people tend to chill out again!
Everyone here does feel slightly differently about things, often in very strong ways, so it does get a bit heated, but hang around, it is very interesting, and I for one have learned a lot, mostly about oars, but I am sure that will come in useful too. ;)
Try to keep your sense of humour and have a thick skin and you’ll be fine.
Welcome aboard – pass the parmesan!
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@Bobjack
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glad you see the humour of the hate mail
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Yesterday was the first time I have been on this site. I enjoyed the posting and arguing etc. but I wonder if anyone can point me in the direction of the basic principles of the cofsm?
For example
What rules do cofsm practioners follow?
Is there any sort of “ten commandments” thing?
What is the meaning and origin of the “volcano of beer + stripper factory”?
Is there a cofsm hierachy?
Is there anything more about midgets + pirates, other than what I have read in the letter to the school?
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…………..
Does anyone have any photos of midget pirates, or midgrates as I would like to call them?
Thanks.
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@BOBJACK
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the site is a parody. any sort of rules are obvious parodies of hard core christian theology. just letting you know
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Check out wikipedia for FSM – it covers the main stuff.
Available through Amazon is the Gospel of the FSM which was written by his prophet Bobby.
I don’t know about any midgit Pirate photos, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised! :)
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bloody christ, racked means raped. eejits
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bloody christ, racked means raped. gits
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Let us not forget the unecyclopedia page at
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Fsm
arrggghhhh and befurter mateys
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O yee of little faith. Trusting in the one almighty lord- his holiness the Flying Spaghetti Monster shall immunize us from eternal damnation.
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@ KJ you spelled ye wrong, and what about the four horsemen??
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“and what about the four horsemen”
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What about them? They gonna help you kick our arse’s all over the internet?
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Hell was “invented” by man.
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i’ve been to hel. it’s a small fishing village on the hel peninsula in the gulf og gdansk in northen poland. it’s really quite nice and the fish there is excellent, although when i was there it was raining and it would have been REALLY difficult for anything, let alone people, to burn.
ironically enough, there’s a small franciscan monastery there. make of that what you will…..
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get some hel beer while you’re there.
http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/heimdal-hel/66314/
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Dear all christians.
I’m not an athiest, i’m not a christian, i don’t belong to any religeon. But what really ticks me off, is the fact that people are just as blinded by your “God” as any pastafarian or any other religeous believer is blinded by theirs. You claim the people in Iraq are violent and such, and that it’s ridiculous that they willingly sacrifice themselves with bombs strapped to their chests, but didn’t the same thing happen in the crusades? The church promised the warriors that they would be accepted into heaven if they fought for the church. The islamic leaders promise no different, and yet your pope called them violent. The pope apologized later, but for what? The pope apologized for them getting mad, not that he was wrong in calling them violent. I admire this new religeon, not because I believe in it, but because it shows the faults in every other religeon that exists today. Pastafarians don’t give a C*** that stem cell research is bad because “it’s killing human lives” the only thing that matters to them is the fact that stem cell reasearch can SAVE lives. Christians are just as ignorant as the people they call ignorant, and every war that has ever been fought has either been for religeon or money. That’s all i have to say on this subject -.-
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Not-a-non-believer-or believer Jan 18th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
the only thing that matters to them is the fact that stem cell reasearch can SAVE lives.
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Yep! That works for me!
Ramen
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Oh yeah, maybe you should research *note* the spelling, stem cell research, before you go spouting off about how it’s “killing” “lives”
Another well informed christian.
Arrrggggg
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Blasphemy is a victimless crime.
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American Atheist,
That’s right. The FSM is made of stronger stuff than to be bothered by a bit of blasphemy. The other Gods are such cry babies who can’t take bit of ribbing.
The FSM just says ‘hey well fuck you and enjoy the stale bear’.
Given that the FSM is made of stronger stuff and that stronger stuff is cooked spaghetti, minced meat and spaghetti sauce, what are the other gods made of?
Semolina?
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America Atheist
Jan 20th, 2007 at 3:30 am
Blasphemy is a victimless crime
*
Hahahahaha, yes it is!
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won’t stop a load of thiests claiming otherwise
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“This crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves.”
– Robert Ingersoll
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Reading the FSM hate mail has turned me pro-choice! Abortion is too good for Fundamentalists!
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Technically, its not blasphemy. We’re not Christians and we cannot commit a sin against a God we don’t believe exists.
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The problem is, you’re not a proper religion and won’t be one until you put some thought into blasphemy.
Until the Church of the F.S.M. can offer potential new members (such as myself) a collection of curses, oaths and cusses, it’s not going to catch on.
You’re also ignoring the power of guilt. Until such time as I can be made to feel guilty about absolutely everything, I’m not going to take any of it seriously. I need to feel dirty. I need to feel rotten. I need to feel that I deserve eternal damnation, and you offer me none of this. It’s clear you need to think this whole thing through in much more detail.
Disappointed of London
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The devil wouldn’t let me in hell. I’d just take over.
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