This idea or bullcrap that you invented is blasphemy and I do believe that you need to stop or you will burn in hell.
-joseph goss
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
You dare insult this wondrous religion of mine?
You shall not get to taste the fruit of the grain in the beer volcanoes.
You shall not see the strippers produced by my factory.
For you shall be casted into a meatball-less place… You shall be casted into a hell…
You shall be surrounded by the finest Spaghetti, you shall have no water to boil, and no boiler to use. You shall see what you need, what you want, and you shall not get it.
RAmen
I thought Pastafarian hell was just lukewarm beer, ugly strippers, and washing our piza dishes?
Because, ya know, pasta and pizza are so very closely related, they compliment each other nicely. If you have one, you should have the other.
Thank the FSM we have Mr. Gross to break it down for us. I had no idea that my options were believe in god or burn in hell. What a kind and forgiving being god must be to give me so many options. I can’t imagine why someone would NOT want to worship such a benevolent creature. Hmm…now who else gave people the option to believe in his word or die a horrible death? I can’t quite remember his name…I think it rhymed with Adolph Hitler.
Pastafarian hell also involves doing all the menial jobs no one in heaven wants to do. You can find it on the forum.
Twas more of a rhetorical question for the post above.
Hell would consist of being forced to live outside His presence for all eternity. Well, and missing out on the beer, and of course the strippers-that would suck. My personal revelation also informs me that Hell also involves cleaning between the toes of Shari Lewis (who’s wading in the pit) and giving sponge baths to Jonathan Winters. We will also have to clean Martha Stewart’s home (damn near the size of Hell) to her standards.
.
Behave.
.
RAmen
Created by a divine being?
Woah… that IS bullcrap!
Come on now.
Don’t be jealous our god has a bigger noodly appendage.
Blasphemer.
I dont think you had a good chance of getting into heaven anyways.
They dont like opening the doors.. “Lets the cold air out” or something.
Those of you who are being sarcastic at Mr Goss’ expense obviously do not understand the full import of his fevered ranting. His assertion that you will “burn in hell” quite clearly refers to my local pizza delivery outlet, www.hell.co.nz. As they make the best damn pizzas I have come across, this is no insignificant threat. However, if the threat of burnt pizza is bad enough, look more closely at the menu where you will find the pasta dishes: Demon, Kali and Spirit, each made with spinach fettucine! If this is not a blatant threat that he is planning some sort of assault on His Noodlyness, presumably with some sort of celestial flamethrower thing, or maybe a giant magnifying glass or a cosmic Zippo lighter or something, then I don’t know what is.
Would it be overly cruel to point out that his pitiful misguided plans for combustion-based vengeance will be swamped in the garlic cream sauce of ineffable goodness?
The very idea of Blasphemy is a Blasphemous concept. Accusing someone of it is to suggest that whatever god you are talking about is so petty, it would care what a puny human would say about him. It would suggest that god is a whinny child with a temper that can’t brush off false criticism.
Of course, the FSM (bless his holy name) is above criticism by mere mortals. Ramen!
lol, as much as christians may claim that their religion promotes independance of thought and critical thinking, it seems that god himself is incapable of taking criticism. i bet he’d kick mother theresa out of heaven for suggesting he’s being a tad harsh on all of those people burning in hell.
I think Jonathan Winters is still alive,does he have a special day pass or something?
Aaaahhhhh!!!!!! Martha Stuwart standard clean! NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Homo narrans,
.
You assume that Mother Theresa got into heaven in the first place.
.
OEJ
Say what you will about Martha Stuwart, but that woman can make a damn fine centerpiece, for any occaision!
Burn baby! Burn!
Disco Inferno!
you have no right to say that!
Geez!
That annoys me so much!
when people dis other people claiming that they will go to ‘hell’ becuse they do not beleive in their god.
I kinda experience a lot of that because i’m wiccan, and i don’t even beleive in heaven….
(or satan)
Words like this will PREVENT YOU FROM EVER GETTING TO THE STRIPPER FACTORY FOR SPHAGHETTIS SAKE!
this site,belief, and its followers are all idiots.