This idea or bullcrap that you invented is blasphemy and I do believe that you need to stop or you will burn in hell.
-joseph goss
This idea or bullcrap that you invented is blasphemy and I do believe that you need to stop or you will burn in hell.
-joseph goss
Cool! Blasphemy is great and to be encouraged. Heaven will be full of Christians, yeuch!
We did not “invent” the FSM. He invented us. we actally outdate both Christianity and Judaism by thousands of years. God was a spinoff of His Divine Noodlyness, and the original blasphemy. we Pastafarians have existed for millions of years, in spite of the fact that that is impossible, considering how the world is only MADE to look old.
And there is no hell for those who intelligently and peacefully state their veiws.
you, on the other hand…
RAmen
Actually, I thought all the cool philosophers and smart people of Ancient Greece were supposed to be in one of the levels of Hell. Sounds like a great place to me–excellent company!
This website isn’t balsphemy, but I will admit that the t-shirt I have of Jesus being ’stimulated’ by Mohammed might be. But it depends on your point of view.
Blasphemy is only blashphemy if god objects, and the FSM came to me last night whilst I was drinking rum and talking to my parrot and told me that he didn’t mind this website, he did however have a problem with you, and you will soon face noodly wrath.
His words not mine, sorry.
I’ve never understood about the whole ‘levels of Hell’ thing. Do you have to take some kind of test or is there an intern programe.
They obviously realised that if all the people christians thought were going to go to hell actually did, there’d be no room soon enough, so… high rise building, the levels of hell :p
I agree with you Penne. This whole “Hell” thing has left me confused. There is no Pastafarian hell. Well, I suppose there is Las Vegas, but it’s not like anyone is forcing you to go there.
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I checked the internet and found this place http://www.club-hell.com/index.php which looks like the kind of place I’d like to hang out. So, next time somebody tells me to go to hell, I think I’ll take them up on it.
.
OEJ
Why do all these people think that we’ll be scared by the idea of burning in the Hell of a different religion, and will thus convert?
Bullcrap indeed. I mean, come on, some guy named Jesus? Immaculate conception? Water into wine? Please. I agree, the Christians posting hatemail here will burn in hell for rejecting His Noodliness and inventing their false religion.
This idea or bullcrap that you invented is blasphemy and I do believe that you need to stop or you will not be allowed to go to the stripper factory.
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-Cap’nUberbob
“This idea or bullcrap that you invented is blasphemy and I do believe that you need to stop or you will burn in hell.”
In a just and fair world such an extreme punishment would require an extreme crime. I guess that the Christian God is neither just nor fair - hardly surprising given the track record of protestants burning catholics and vica versa.
All hail the true noodley prince of peace!
Nick, just remember, Christians are very gullable, not nice and their imaginary fairy god is a bit of a bastard.
Who else but a sadist would belive in someone/thing that could give free thought but demand unquestioning devotion, make sex a great laugh but tell us not to do it, make tits so much fun but not give us all a pair to play with and make christians his representatives on earth, yet make them so goddam boring (and usually ugly).
My theory is that christianity (judaism, Islam, Little Red Riding Hood, whatever) is a dorm prank designed by two stoned 25 yr olds tring to get gullable people to do funny shit….. Imaging it - ‘Dude, Have a bang on this…..now think about it, hes like dead right…..but he’s not……that’ll fuck with them….now lets get a bloke to wear a dress and not have sex foir the rest of his life…….who’s got the doritos dude i’m hungry……..’
Makes sense to me
Pirates on the other hand clearly are the chosen ones, boats, eye patches, parrots, scurvy… say no more. ahhhaarrrr
It is amazing how creative these christians really are. You will all burn in hell unless you fear your saviour. Dare you question him and you will be send to a nasty-er level of hell.
I shall leave you all to comment on the different levels of hell available and what you have to do to get to them.
RAmen
the “levels of Hell” thing is was written by Dante, not the Bible. Dante borrowed it from various other mythologies in which the level of agony varies from blasphemer to blasphemer.
doesn’t make it any less stupid, though, since a great many christians believe in it. kinda like the Fall of Lucifer, which also isn’t mentioned.
Oh my God, we’re being blasphemous!
Can someone pass me the pasta please?
Are we? Oh dear, I hadnt realised.
Actually, I kind of like Dante. He was a cool dude (if a bit of a nut case).
Thankfully, we Pastafarians don’t exactly have a hell. all hail the FSM!
RAmen
I’m with you, Gnocci Man, Dante was a brilliant storyteller, but obviously had some serious mental issues. Meet you at the stripper factory after a refill at the beer volcano.
RAmen
Assuming you’re a mainstream Christian (seems likely), then under your own scriptures and doctrine, telling someone that they’re going to hell is blasphemous. Only God gets to do that.
why do all the christians care if we are going to hell. shouldn’t they be worrying about themselves. i thought that’s what all hardcore christians do. hmmmmm, what can i do that will get me into heaven and make sure everybody else goes to hell. oooo, i know, i know, i will tell eerybody that there everyday actions are sinful so i can feel like a great christian. yea, i am using the word of god to make me feel like a grateful bastard. no wonder god loves us.
.
some kind and loving god
Yup, that whole thing always got a chuckle out of me…judge not lest ye be judged, and many suppossed Christians who I counter with that one claim that I am citing scripture for my own purposes… Isn’t that what they do?
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To be fair not all Christians are like that, I happen to be pretty close friends with a few, and they could give a rats ass what I, or anyone else, believe. We must carefully respect people like that, or we are no better than those that troll this website to seek and annoy.
okay so we got to hell even though we dont believe in you god? some one explain please!
Bullcrap comes from Bulls. Idea’s come from somewhere. it’s not the brain, cut up a brain and all you get is goo. Idea’s come from the the all high noodleiness. Why do you think they call it “using your noodle”?
shhh…. you just let the most guarded secret out… let us hope no one’s noticed…
Mr. Goss,
No idea or invention is bull crap. It might not be the most useful thing in the world, but people would not bother to keep a website up if it did not serve a higher purpose. In this particular case, this website serves satire. Evolution is a theory. I do not dispute that. Electricity is a theory. I do not dispute that either. I am fairly confident that electricity does exist, because I am typing on a computer which gets its power from a generating station, which generates its power by burning coal. The coal boils the water, and turns the turbines at 60 hz in a magnetic field, generating current.
The point is that I have never physically seen an electron, but I am fairly sure they exist. Evolution, like electricity is a theory, and while I have never seen a new species evolve from a previous one, I am fairly sure that evolution exists as well.
If you could come up with some fact that directly contradicted FSM or evolution you might be able to have a valid argument. Since you atatck the people behind the idea, and not the idea itself, your argument is worth nothing. In other words, if you don’t have something intelligent to say, spare Mr. Henderson the server space and stop reading all of the posts and literature.
Ok thats it im done.
American Inquisition time!!!!!!!
And you noodle loving bastards are the first up against the wall.
Then the Scientologists , or maby the Mormans. That SCO prick is a morman right ?
I don’t mind burning, I am a pyro-maniac.
@YHVA
1: Pastafarianism is hardly limited to any one country. People all over the world believe in His Noodly Goodness.
2: you clearly need to c h i l l o u t.
3: a little open-mindedness goes a long way. another misinformed psychotic rant extoling nothing but hate and lack of intelligence is hardly going to threaten us OR convince us to join you. Actually, it just makes us laugh.
–A “noodle loving bastard”
i think YHVA was joking.
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i seriously doubt anyone who could actually spell would condone an american inquisition.
Blasphemy!
Blas for you!
Blas for eveybody in the room!
Infact everyone that is not a Christian will burn in hell, according to the Christians.
mind you , theres a lot of assmaster Christians getting blowjobs and kickbacks these days.
And that only counting the leader of one of the biggest U.S. of A Churches.
Mr buddism.
(bdsm@Heavensgate.hvn)
Just because I like bathtubs filled with green beauty salts doesn’t mean that everyone else does.
Oh no. He’s threatening me with hell. I’m going to convert this instant, as you are clearly a man of intelligence, wit and style.
.
.
.
.
.
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[/sarcasm]FSM is so much better than your god! For a start he’s far more fair, logical and benevolent than a god that sends people to hell for not taking notice of the rumor of his existence propagated by hateful, hypocritical, numbingly thick skulled fuckwits such as yourself.
Well Joseph Goss, you have really developed a solid arguement, backed up by all that fact..
No fuck it.. Your a wanker.
Cheers though for your concern, i’ll be sure to mention your name highly at the next clan meeting…
Ramen
Dear Joe,
.
“I do believe that you need to stop or you will burn in hell.”
.
Now *that’s* what I call “an idea or bullcrap that you invented”.
.
Hell is an imaginary place, invented to frighten and subjugate timid and infantile minds. Nice to see it still works on the right people ;-)
@Homo Narrans:
“i seriously doubt anyone who could actually spell would condone an american inquisition.”
.
Don’t count on it - d’you think McCarthyism was organised by illiterates?
I am a peaceful caring man, yet I refuse to believe in a jealous God. Should I burn in hell for this? I am a conservative person and live by a strict set of morals, yet my morals are not dictated by my religion. Should I burn in hell for this? I have never broken a law against society (except speeding, and drinking underage), and disagree with abortion. My ideas are directed by my own beliefs of life and what is right, but not my God. Should I burn in hell for this? I act more Christian than many of those that follow the religion, yet I do not believe thier God. Why should I burn in hell for living a good life?
i have to agree with graham; it’s a sin to judge people, and therefore to tell people they are going to go to hell is judgemental, therefore a sin; and therefore, you will go to hell because you are judgemental. I can say that because i’m a non-believer and i’m going to “hell” anyway, and there’s only one level of hell, so if i’m going 2 sin, i might as well sin as much as possible. Your logic, not mine
.
njoi
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tha beast from tha east
Sir Paul McCarthyism? No, that was the British.
Joseph McCarthy. U.S Senator or something. Called everyone commies, y’know, him.
Judgmental has no “e”, not that I am being judgmental or anything.
McCarthy. Evil Man. In my opinion, next in line for the Anti Pasta title, right after Anne Coulter.
As for the levels of hell, I think used car salesmen are on level four.XD
Kiddin kidding kidding
kinda
Ah, Anne Coulter — the poster child for neo-con evil. The only one in the universe with bigger balls than the FSM who has the audacity to label 9-11 widows as millionaire liars. Outrageous. Just another sign that the Republicans have spun out of control.
I am so ashamed to share the first 3 letters of my name with her.
“Judgmental has no “e†”
-
I think you’ll find, if you study the evidence fairly and carefully, that it does ;¬) (hint: it’s near the middle). May I burn in hell for being a pedant and a blasphemer and a sinner and a non-believer etc etc. Anyway, better than eternity with smug tambourine shakers. Do you ’shake’ tambourines, or ‘rattle’ them? Maybe the word should be ’shove’.
@ Branded Cow, I totally agree with you. I’ve made the same argument before. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone when I’m out there in the day-to-day world where fundies are lurking in the shadows and solid logic is scarce.
.
@ Brian the Canuck, Hello! I must disagree with what you said about us not being any better than others who troll this website and try to be annoying, or words to that effect. I have never felt the need to make my presence or opinion known on other websites. Well, there was the time that I added “Give them to Brittany Spears to use as earrings,” in response to a request for suggestions for uses of the millions of AOL discs sent out each year. But that’s not what we’re talking about is it? I do believe I’m better than them. I understand the supreme futility of expressing my opposition to any group that by its very nature, isn’t open to what I have to say. I say, if you don’t like what we’re saying, don’t come here. (Not you specifically, mind you.) I think the Scientology is a damaging cult, but I’m not going to go to their website to tell them that. I’m sure they don’t care.
TOUCHY, aren’t you?
Hell is something made up just to scare people into being good.
Heaven is something made up just to bribe people into being good.
In reality, there is no Heaven or Hell. We are not going anywhere. When we die, it’s possibly like when we sleep, only dreamless and nightmare-less.
One Oared Marc: ‘Anne Coulter — the poster child for neo-con evil’ So true, so true. She’s sort of like god in her surrealistic level of evil. It’s a real tribute to the neocons that they can’t see it.
well blasphemy is “impious utterance or action concerning God or sacred things”
and because we have no proof your god exists we can not commit blasphemy
by the way I know about 47 people names Jesus and you Christians have been pronouncing it wrong this whole time…i guess when your holy book is writen 300 years after the prophets death some words get mixed up
Hi all, just passing by and read some of these posts. I was wondering, the christan god set up the ten commandments. I think the first commandment is the shall not have any other gods one? Kind of convenient isn’t it, sets up a monopoly right off the bat. And what kind of God casts his children into the pits of hell just for expressing their thoughts. And hey christian people of faith an old friend of mine once said, Did God create man or did man create God so he wouldn’t be alone in the universe?
Holy shit! Hang on while I change my beliefs because some Bible thumping fundie tells me I’m suddenly going to Hell! I doubt you’ve even read the entire Bible. Most fundies havent, and that’s the problem. You cant see the massive contrdictions and flat out lies present in the “Holy Text” because you havent even read it! And now you come to warn us heathens of our impending doom, play the role of a harbinger of a fate about which you actually know nothing. Typical. Forget the loving forgiving aspect of God and focus on how he will kick the shit out of you for not believing in him. That’s why I left Catholicism. I seem to remember a passage in the Bible where Jesus says something to the effect of “whatever you believe on Earth, I will make true in Heaven”. Therefore, if I believe that when I die I will be transported to a magical realm of beer volcanoes and stripper factories, Jesus has to say “Okay, if that’s what you want. ” and make it so. And yes, that is what I want.
Note that the bible was wrong: the sign of the beast is actually 661. I’m not even joking, go look it up.
The audacity of people these days… [mr. Blasphem, you probably don’t know what that means. If you don’t, shut the hell up and leave us alone.]
Well Joseph, now that is a threat that really worries me so I have decided that I must convert immediately to avoid going to hell. The problem is that I don’t know which hell is the worst, is it the christian one or the muslim one, after all, I don’t want to pick the wrong one, do I. On the other hand, when I think of the nutters I am likely to be sharing either the christian (homophobic, misogynistic etc.) or muslim (the same with the added bonus of suicide bombers) heaven with, I think I’ll stick with hell.
John
Attended the Mormon and Presbyterian church as a youth, Spent the last few years worshiping an aluminum foil frog. But I feel compeled to this FSM. I first saw the site looking for pumpkin contests online. Heard the refereence on South Park. Makes as much sence as any belief system. I feel the photo is out of scale though. The FSM has got to be at least 40 times bigger than the depiction right? Did I dream it?
Oh, and I want to get one of the fisbone pendants. Coolest thing ever. Burn in hell… Arrr me wooden leg.
Do you mean Hell, Michigan or Hell, Norway? I’d love to go to Hell in Norway cos it gets to -20C there, then I can tell everyone I had a cold day in Hell.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Blasphemous Ideas
St. JtB
Brilliant, mate!!!
Look at the people who are supposed to be going to Heaven, would you want to spend eternity with any of them? All the interesting people seem to be going to Hell, sounds like it could be one heck of a party!
Yeah hell will have the coolest most intelligent and greatest of all people in it, if it where true. Lets face it most rock stars and movie stars will all be in hell. Then you have the great philosophers Like Sartre, Aristotle, Nietzsche to name just a few. Frued will be there to help me with any mental issues I may have. Ghandi will be chilling out some where in the 6th level of hell.
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“Do you mean Hell, Michigan or Hell, Norway? I’d love to go to Hell in Norway cos it gets to -20C there, then I can tell everyone I had a cold day in Hell.”
.
Do you think the Norwegians were taking the piss when they named that place?
Yeap, it’s a fact I might well be going to hell but at least I don’t have to listen to sanctimoniuos bastards like you :lol:
There is no fire in hell, just stale beer! Something about the strippers not being up to scratch either.
RAmen
-Anne Coulter-Isn’t she the one who wanted to give someone rat posione not too long ago?
Dear Bobby Henderson,
this stuff you’re teaching is a load of crap and you offend
the true religion.
I’m a Scientologist and I can explain exactly the origin of the
“spaghetti monster” false god.
75 million years ago an evil intergalactic alien ruler named
“Xenu” was dealing with an huge overpopulation problem.
So he called trillion of people for a tax inspection and
as people came to him, he “freeze” them with paralysing injections
and brought them to the earth in DC8 planes.
He laid the corpses near big volcanoes and bombed them
with hydrogen nuclear weapons.
The body thetans (the alien creatures’ souls) started
flying away, but he was prepared for that.
With the help of a machine, he sucked the thetans
and stocked them in boxes which were sent into a huge
cinema. There the body thetans was forced to watch
some movies ( like in the clockwork orange) with
images of Christ, Buddha, etc.
Then he freed them and they entered in the bodies
of the humans confusing them with false beliefs.
Now. What all this have to do with the spaghetti
monster?
That’s simple: while aliens souls was watching
the movies Xenu was eating some ammatriciana spaghetti,
so the spaghetti god stuck to the thetans’ minds
and now in yours.
Got it now?
@Riccardo, Italy
wait… are you being sarcastic, or just being a nut case?
the flying spaghetti monster created scientology because he wanted a good laugh. and that it is.
@Captian of the Nowtheworldhasmeaning
Yup, sounds like hell will be full of cool people. And heaven? They will have Bush..nuff said..
.
.
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@Riccardo, Italy
WTF????
HERATIC!
“Judgmental has no “e††Oops, I meant has no “e” after the “g”. Thanks for pointing that out. I figured that if the fundies were here to be judgmental that they should at least be told how to spell it. Evidently their computers do not come with spell-check.
Oh, and yes, I am a smug, left-wing assclown.
@beastly rich
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Ouch, that got me… I’m down.. Need Pasta….
.
Whatever…….
Ricardo was being facetious.
.
Everyone knows that the FSM created all life and all religions. He does these sort of things to test our faith. Every time you find a bit of ‘evidence’ or an argument against the FSM, that is just him testing your faith. Those that proclaim His Noodliness in the face of overwhelming evidence against him are truly blessed.
.
OEJ, Ship’s Navigator
@OEJ
RAmen brother!!!
@Gnocci Man
I’m serious and I think the alien human origin should be
taught at school in science lessons besides evolutionism,
creationism, and .. FSMism of course.
if FSM created scientology for a laugh, then his sense of humour is just as sick and twisted as the Biblical god’s…i personally reckon scientology is a manifestation of the antipasta.
Scientology…
I suppose that either dirty jokes suit His Divine Noodlyness, or it was a slip-up during one of his post-beer volcano sprees. maybe He made a bet with the antipasta about who could make the strangest religion. hmmm… actually, that might explain Christianity, too.
RAmen
@Homo narrans
I’m not completely sure that the biblical God has a sense of humor. actually, I’m pretty sure he’s just sick and twisted.
@brianthecanuck
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good point. ok, so my statement was extreme. alright, most of the christians are not like that. i was mostly attacking the fundies.
.
to anyone who is christian with common sense, though i will talk smack about god, you are not the enemy and neither is the way you view god. i am against people using religion to dominate our society, like the fundies and hard core conservatives.
@buttjester, sorry, that was directed at riccado, I left it before pressing the submit button. My bad.
RAmen
@beastly rich
No problem. I started wondering after reading a few of your posts. It sounded like you were on our side.
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May you be blessed with many noodles..
RAmen
@Gnocci Man
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“He made a bet with the antipasta about who could make the strangest religion.”
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Classic!!
Did anyone see that even the Swedish chef in the Muppet Show had to face the power His Noodliness?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsFmH6-IqtA
Many chefs are pastafarians. pirate chefs especially. He favors those who construct effigies of His sacred noodly worshipfullness. now, excuse me. the pot is boiling.
To muslims, christianity is blaspheme. To chritians islam is blaspheme. Nothing is blasphmeme to FSM because he likes a good laugh.
hear hear, Chris.
a shining truth amid the stuffy brown soup of common messages.
@Ricardo:
“With the help of a machine, he sucked the thetans”
.
…amd what gay loving man whore would wanna miss out on *that*?!?
.
Ba-ba-da-bum!
St. Chris said: “to muslims, christianity is blaspheme. to christians, islam is blaspheme”
Good… turning our enemies against each other is always good, but they seem to be doing that on their own.
//The problem is that I don’t know which hell is the worst
Google “Buddhist hell”. Those guys knew how to design a hell.
If I end up in some brimstone pit thst I don’t believe in, I will be seriously annoyed. Yar!
@ Davey Jones’ Hacker
>>“With the help of a machine, he sucked the thetansâ€
.
>…amd what gay loving man whore would wanna miss out on *that*?!?
Yeah.
And his little sister sucked off the spaghetti monster as well with
deep throat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-V4XP63s5c
see you there you wonderful christian!
thought i would love a good beer volcano and a non-STD stripper factory….i’ve been 2 vegas and its not that bad…so maybe going 2 hell won’t kill me…besides the fact that ill already be dead.
way i see it im probably gonna go to hell any ways for not giving all my money to charity drinking and being mean to fat people so what do i have to lose
hey some of u guys were discussing about scientology, just thought You’d like to know that taking their free personality test is one of the most halarious things ever…cynical?
Hmm… its interesting that Buddhists practically never call any1 a blasphemist or heretic.
that’s because buddhism centres on reason and enlightenment rather than emphasising the difference between sina nd righteousness. in fact, i think it is the only religion for which “not killing people under any circumstances” is a major observance.
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to my knowledge, the Dalai Lama is the only religious leader in the world who has gone on record saying that if modern physics ever contradicts buddhist metaphysical beliefs…well, buddhists will just have to change thier beliefs.
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i wept when i heard that statement.
Here’s the statement by the Dalai Lama:
“If science proves some belief of Buddhism wrong, then Buddhism will have to change. In my view, science and Buddhism share a search for the truth and for understanding reality. By learning from science about aspects of reality where its understanding may be more advanced, I believe that Buddhism enriches its own worldview.”
I always knew I liked the Dalai Lama for some reason.
I’ve read his book. He’s pretty cool.
cool…thats the understatment of the year!:)
The Dalai Lama is completely cool. I totaly respect him and his beliefs.
on a side note, his brother owns a resaurant just 30 miles south of where I live!
Perhaps we call all gather there some day, he can invite his brother over, and we’ll all have a huge bowl of spaghetti and meatballs and a party?
Not sure they serve spaghetti, but we can bring it as an act of goodwill^_^
Joseph Goss is the kind of “christian” that gives other christians such as myself a bad name. Sometimes there are people that need to let others live the way they want to. And some christians just don’t understand that some people enjoy having a good time.
I am regretful for his harsh words.
Our true Master, The Spaghetti Monster loves us all, if it is your wish to burn in hell, just ask for and I am very confident your dreams will soon come true.
All prize The Spaghetti Monster, our true Creator and Savior!
Just me, thank you, thank you , thank you. Your attitude is the only thing that could ever remotely attract me to Christianity. Well done! That, I respect.
Just me– What SaucyWench said! After herr docter’s posts I could use a little sanity.
Is is safe to be sarcastic and witty here? I don’t want to have to be serious right now. I just had to bake a pumpkin pie, and I’m physically and emotionally drained. If the crazy doctor would answer my sincere question, I might respond to him, but otherwise, I’ve got to go rest up for all the piratey feasting tomorrow!
*RUN ON SENTENCE COUGH COUGH* I don’t know why, but every time I read the hate mail, I am compelled to critisize the grammatical errors. Might need my grammar gland checked.
Umm… can someone explain what happened to the post “Your God is a Homo”? It was hilarious and a kind of… wierd sense.
Sorry I meant in a kind of wierd sense not and
Jack Sparrow
.
Go to the Archives heading and type Your God is a Homo in the search spot and that should take you there.
when did the expression of someones beliefs or choice become blasphemy?
Peeden
Probably the day man first invented the idea of God.
you can find god in everyone, ya know the brown stuff that comes out of your rectum? yes it is sad to say alot of you
unintelligent lifeforms believe in such crap. so hey, here
ya go, pray to my corny piece of poop, he’ll answer all your
prayers with a royal flush! so worship it! the royal holy poo!
-Jesus is a penis that fuqed God in the ass.
“yes it is sad to say alot of you
unintelligent lifeforms believe in such crap. so hey, here
ya go, pray to my corny piece of poop, he’ll answer all your
prayers with a royal flush!”
.
unfortunately, we cannot conclusively disprove the existence of God (if only…), so making statements like this is hardly better than what the hater-monkies do.
.
we can point out the absurd odds against the existence of God, which is what this site actively does.
-corny piece of poop- Wouldn’t that be Cornwal Hanky, the little Christmas Poo who was born with a peice of corn in his brain?
I love the burn in hell strategy, cause by believing so you basically contradict the so loved “but God gave us free will” argument. So try this for free will next time:
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“Sure baby you can break up with me anytime you wish, but if you do I’ll beat your head in!”
Father: you know that i love you, my children.
Children: yes, father.
Father: but you know that i can’t stand the bad things that you do.
Children: yes father, but we are sorry, and we try hard not to.
Father: that is good, and i forgive you because you love me.
Children: thankyou, father.
Father: but if any one of you ever stops loving me, i will slash your tendons with a razorblade, and roast you over an open fire until you die in screaming agony. remember that i love you, my children, and that i don’t force you to do anything i say. i’m just going to stoke the fire now.
all religion is blasphemy to the flying spaghetti monster bitch
so what about the tribal people who had no connection to the “civilised” world? Now, why would God create people, only to have them burning in hell?
Don’t you think that just means he’s giving the Devil over there recruitment proposals for that whole world domination thing.
A tad flawed, ain’t it.
So “sin” a while, and just do the noodle dance.
RAmen *though i prefer soba. okay sorry.*
He created the Universe and all that is contained within. Not unlike Taoism, His Universe will continue on the path He designed. You may yell and scream ‘blasphemy’, but it is pointless. He doesn’t really give a rat’s ass what you think, because His way will be followed. If you decide to return to the flock, there is the outside chance that He will reach out with His noodly appendage and enlighten your mind.
RAmen
The Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, forgive them! Forgive their blind hearts. They love you, but they don’t know what they say. Forgive their stupidity. They will believe one day and all of infidels will not be killed, but they will be loved buy You. Your love is love, no fear like in their religions. We worship you, we love you, we believe you and in you. Thank You for Your miracles. Thank You for creating this world. Thank you.
And most of all, thank you for the endless beer volcanoes and stripper factory in your heaven.
RAmen
Another thank you would be in order if you keep most of the fundies and born agains out.
Okay, Okay. If they repent I suppose it’s okay, but otherwise they need to be washing our beer glasses.
WOW,GOD IS INSECURE!!!
I need your acceptence!!!
BELIEVE,BELIEVE!!!
“he has a list of 10 things he does not want you to do.and if you do one of them,god has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning,torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry for ever and ever till the end of time;but he loves you.he loves you and he need money! hes all powerfull all perfect and all knowing and all wise but some how he just cant handle money.They pay no taxes,but they always need more money.Now you talk about a good bullshit story,HOLY SHIT.”
George Carlin
RAmen
I don’t know if my english is good enough, but here I go…
I’m from Peru, and I have KNOWN for my whole life as a FACT that evolution is what really happened in our world. And I’m Catholic. In the Catholic version of the Bible we have at home, it’s clearly stated (in footed) that, according to science and archaeological investigation, the beginning of the Bible is a reunion of legends from the Hebrew people, and that it represents their faith and has a very potent symbological meaning. It also states to don’t take it literally or we would be misenterpreting its true meaning. That would be wrong.
To be honest, when I checked some statistics that showed that many people in USA take everything that is in Bible literally (like 45%)… well, I simply couldn’t believe that. In our media it’s shown that that country is so developed that the idea behind this revelation is somehow shocking.
In our church we preffer to reconcile the true with the Bible. And there’s nothing wrong with these scientific discoveries, as far as I’m concerned.
I’m not saying that all the people from USA think that. I know that. Even in my country there are people who haven’t received any education and haven’t got