“Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” “I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice.” -Albert Einstein- Oh well. At least life is so good in this country we have the time to dedicate political discourse and web page design to the idea of whether or not people should be allowed to TALK about God.
-tomtsunami
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Again, my apologies, may the FSM bless your fight against clowns or whatever it is you’re fighting.
RAmen
but if we fight, then we lose our “peaceful religion” status. lets keep on using sarcasm and logic. It is only when you’re open to the idea of his noodley appendage that you can be touched by it.
lets not be a religion of the sword, like christianity and islam. they pretty much suck (watch muslims get angry and riot over this comment)
Dear Mr.PP, I think I see what you are saying; you saw something about a purple thong, the FSM, and some clowns and thought it was a dirty,cheap and tartery porno smut story, yes? Well you were very wrong to think such naughty thoughts but as you have apologied, I will forgive you. Besides, that story doesn’t start till next week anyway.
The thong of Destiny-
LOVE IT! Finish the story! PLEEEEEEEEEEEAASE ^_^
Bravo Penne. Eagerly awaiting the next episode. I think I am beginning to dislike clowns.
I always feel that the FSM site is a big loungeroom of like minded pastafarians and I think it is nice of Penne to tell us a tale in between our verbal battles. A very traditional type of pastime.
RAmen.
Can’t wait for a fundis comments after they read any particular episode. Oh hang on …..that’s right, they don’t bother to read posts other than their own do they? Still it would be funny.
I am starting to have clown nightmares. Is there such a thing as clown exorcism?
@Penne
My word. I may have have supped from the beer volcano, and had a sip from the whiskey river just around the corner, and might only get four hours of sleep a night, but my word, i could have sworn I heard maniacal clown laughter ringing in my ears in the middle of chapter 5. I am truly perturbed. Please don’t let the clowns win. Triumph, Ye Purple Thong of Destiny….
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Eagerly awaiting chapter 7. Thanks!
Just checking for any news of progress in the battle against Bozo.
with all those girls in the jeep when do we get to the hairy lesbian footlicking?
Don’t listen to that numpty assclown from hell, Penne, we eagerly await the next installment of your spinetingling tales of horror.
May the sauce be with us all.
RAmen
Dr. Fenswicke Smythe-Taylor Coleridge PhD (Theo.) doesn’t appear to exist
Who is Dr Michael Martin? Is he any of the following:
The Dr Michael Martin who has an “honorary” degree conferred upon him by an unaccredited diploma mill called Suffield University?
The Dr Michael Martin working on Philosophy of Perception at UCL?
The Dr Michael Martin who is a Professor of Philosophy Emeritus at Harvard?
The Dr Michael Martin at ANU working on Finance & Applied Statistics?
I can’t seem to find any Dr Michael Martin who is in any way qualified to present themselves as a doctor in the field of physics. Odd that.
Also, i don’t like all the earlier talk about me. I eat only pasta based products, I don’t get in bags, boxes or anything else you want to put me in unless you’re paying big money. And I certainly am not fed by a homophobic theologian.
Cat Nov 29th, 2006 at 7:11 am
“Dr. Fenswicke Smythe-Taylor Coleridge PhD (Theo.) doesn’t appear to exist”
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Oh well, you get that a lot. I quite liked his post though, short and to the point.
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Re Dokta Martin
“The Dr Michael Martin who has an “honorary†degree conferred upon him by an unaccredited diploma mill called Suffield University?” The YECs probably paid for it. They are desperate to have “believing scientists” on their roll call.
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That probably sounds closest to the truth, if he indeed has any qualifications. If you read his posts on the “Evoluion is a Fraud” thread, he claims 3 degrees; Molecular biology & Cell Regulation, Neuroscience and umm.. I forget what else, probably Astro Physics or Quantum Mechanics (lol) or Bachelor of Bullshit.
Here is the link to the thread, but be warned, be prepared for much long winded, hot air, verbal diarrhoea and ego stroking.
http://www.venganza.org/2006/09/24/evolution-is-a-fraud.htm
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RAmen
“And I certainly am not fed by a homophobic theologian.”
hahahaha…….I think the Coleridge post was meant as satire.
Well, Bozo had finally managed to get that bloody band-aid open and wraped it around his leg a dozen times or so(I told you it was big) and putting his fists on his hips ,he then proceeded to rant at me with a zeal the likes of which I had never witnessed before;”WHAT WAS THAT?!!? WHAT____THE-FUCK____WAS-THAT?!?!?WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM? I’M SORRY IF YOU’VE FELT OFFENEDED BY THE WHOLE WHORE THING OR THE SHAKING OR EVEN MY BREATH, BUT COULDN’T YOU HAVE EXSPRESSED IT INA DIFFERENT WAY? OK, I CAN SEE WHERE YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE UPSET ABOUT THE SNOW GLOBE THING, BUT I HONESTLY DIDN’T INTEND FOR THAT TO HAPPEN..” as he was yapping away without showing any signs of stopping, I decided to take advantage of the situation and silp away. I saw a clown comming at me and quickly pointed behind him and yelled “Look,it’s Dame Edna!” and as the clown turned around,smoothing back his frizzy hair,I let loose with my mighty Thong of Destiny and it whipped onto his butt of it’s own accord,I gave a mighty tug and with a squeal not unlike that of a piglet, I fell my first clown! After that it was easy,and I managed six more before Bozo interupted his bitchy-ka-ka fest to see what I was up to. He was mad before,but now he looked as though he was about to pop his round red plastic nose, I’m not certain but I think his wig was smoking.” Well, is that what I get for showing my feelings?Just because I’m a homicidal circus clown doesn’t mean I’m an idiot! I have a Doctorate in Molecular and Cell Biology from Yale-AS A MATTER OF FACT!!!!!!” He had totally lost it. As he came roaring towards me like a raging bull with a jet pack up it’s butt, I simply stepped to the side and extended my foot,as he stumbled I cracked the Thong at him like a cat’n nine tails, it slammed home on the first try but as I tried to give him the old heave-ho he made the first move and yanked me off my feet by spinning around and then proceeded to drag me across the ground,me hagging onto the thong for dear life,wagging his ass from side to side in an effort to shake me off. I finally managed to stop him by hooking my feet into some fat electical cords streched out from a nearby ride. I scrambled to my feet and braced myself to pull but he was too fast for me again and produced a large can of silly string which he promptly stuffed down the back of his pants.Spraying the entire contents into his butt crack, he began to laugh wildly-maybe because it tickled, but more likely because he knew his ass was now completely cushioned from any further thong ass-alut. Good gravy,now what? “That was fun!” he snickered,”But now for something completely different;” and he reached into that front pouch of his and drew out what must have been the biggest can of bug spray I’d ever seen in my life.”This ain’t no shave’n cream sister! Say hello to Hooker-Be-Gone!!!” And as he aimed the can at me with an evil grin spreading across his lips,his corndog encrusted teeth shinning in the moonlight like the moldering picket fence around the town graveyard, I couldn’t help but think that maybe I should have just stayed home tonight and watched Jerry Springer on Dancing With The Stars With my kitty instead. But no! I wouldn’t let it end like this! “Bugger Off Bozo!” I yelled as I ducked, avoiding the clould of deadly gas,but just. “Stay still you little cockroach!” like that was going to happen. If only I could get rid of that damn silly string somehow. Oh where was that flying blob of pasta when I needed him? As if to answer,suddenly like a light blinking on he appeared. He again extended one of his noodley apendages, but this time it was to deliver a steaming hot noodle-full of tomato sauce to Bozo’s unsupecting asscrack.He wailed in surprise as it sizzled, spattering onto his fat clowny butt ckecks,the silly string and his clownpants and pok-a-dot underwear.Greeeaaat,what was that supposed to do? Good for a laugh or two maybe,but…..Before my very eyes that tomato sauce began to dissolve the silly string,and fast! Not to mention everything eles he was wearing.I breifly(no pun intended)noticed what appeared to be a small lable of sorts on Bozo’s left butt check,It said something like’if found please return to The RINGMASTER’ followed by some sort of weird writting that I couldn’t quite make out. Kinky. However, confronted by the idea of haveing to see any more of his pastey ass then nessasary,without further delay I gave a sharp upward pull.Using all my strength,I delivered the wedggie to end all wedggies. I guess I didn’t know my own strenght or maybe it was the power of the thong together with the divine tomato sauce that did it, but giveing one last and horrible scream, he vanished,-swallowed up by his own asscrack. I had wedggied him right out of existance.”What a way to go.” was all I could say.That may have been the end of Bozo, but I still had his evil followers to deal with………..
He has a lot of spare time…. Pity he didn’t use it to get an education in the subject he’s trying to lecture on:)
I couldn’t understand his arguement because it was so badly presented, and he kept undermining his own arguments. The whole evidence thing - where he says there is proof that the bible is true (Jesus’ shroud and cross have been found…lol), but evidence for evolution is all falsified. Sensible.
Neuroscience and Molecular biology and cell regulation have NOTHING to do with evolution.
I don’t like him, he makes me sad that people can be so angry and confused and illogical. I hope illogical is a real word. It’s not unlogical, its not nonlogical. But the more I look at it the less like a word it looks…
(DR M M I mean)
@Cat:
take comfort, illogical is a real word. and yeah, many of us feel that way about the doctor. in truth, the man was utterly incapable of debating anything, since debate implies two-way communication. he just shouted very loudly for a long time and made many assumptions based on his own (dubious) authority. though in hindsight i should have pointed out to him that evolutionary increases in genetic information have been observed - nylonophagous bacteria didn’t just pull the nylonase enzyme out of nowhere, nor did they create it by ‘dropping’ a few nucleotides in their genome (and they certainly haven’t just been sitting around for ever, since until recent decades what possible use could there have been for nylon-eating microbes?).
a few people mentionmed that the Turin shroud was proven to be false, but herr doktor simply seemed to ignore them. i suppose he would have taken a similar stance to my argument about nylonophages, the same way he dismissed the fossil record out of hand.
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@Penne:
awesome 8th chapter there! time to put an end to those evil nose-honking water-squirters!