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I found this hate-comment left in response to the fsm protest in london post:
Not a religious message, but just a comment on how truly, astoundingly, sadly pathetic you are. If you’ve got a problem with creationism, then why not attack it in a vaguely sensible way, with intellectual criticism? All you’re doing is offending people, and providing money for a guy who can’t be bothered getting off his arse to get a job, so comes up with this instead. Just pathetic.
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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“If you’ve got a problem with creationism, then why not attack it in a vaguely sensible way, with intellectual criticism?”
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because theres already plenty of people doing that. =p
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“Grow up and learn to be tolerant!”
I’m sorry. I can’t tolerate this.
You have to understand… I love this country. People who lead it have done bad things, but the general concept is so beautiful, and so many good things and people have come from the hard-won liberties and freedoms with which my beloved Constitution has endowed us. Now, I know that at times the Constitution has required a different interpretation than originally conveyed, because we are enlightened to the point of considering women, Native Americans, and dark-skinned humans as people… something that was missing from the founding fathers’ philosophy. But it has always been clear about the separation of church and state… and there are extremely good reasons.
Both my children and I have been taught that no one knows exactly how the spark of life on earth began, but we do know it evolved from that original form to create the world we know today. And that in a nutshell is the theory of evolution.
I will never, ever support any theological viewpoint being taught in science class. It goes against the Constitution. And thus, I remain intolerant of the Christian push to subjugate science to their agenda.
It’s un-American, and I cannot, and will not ever, tolerate it.
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Using Satire is actually a tried and tested way of making people take notice of you view point. It has been used by some of the greatist philosophers and if it is good enough for Socrates (the earliest great Atheist philosopher) then it is good enough for me.
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Socrates died for his beliefs he had every chance to either run or repent but he choice to stand by his principle, what makes him even greater was the fact he and people who believed in him where not arrogant enough to claim he died for other peoples sins!
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Great man!
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And actually, Jonathan Swift was one of teh greatest satirists ever, and he made up whole worlds to prove his points (Read the whole of Gulliver’s Tarvels to see what I mean). Rob is just doing what Swift did before him, and I really admire him for that.
RAmen
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lunchlady,
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Absolutely right! It’s only a matter of time before he’s sensibly suggesting that we eat our Irish children. More power to him!
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“it’s not that I can’t be bothered to get a job, so much as work sucks.” Bobby Henderson
Not mine! C’mon back in and read with the little children!
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I have an interview next week
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Being vaguely sensible doesn’t get you noticed. And it’s not half as fun as being loud and obnoxious. :D
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Religion is a weapon of war. and like many weapons of war, it makes big money!
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big money big money!
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probably one of the rare times i’m illogical and irrational, you know, maybe christians can better understand me. lalala.
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yeah…
cuz i’d much rather give my money to some crazy imagrant that wont get off his lazy ass and do something for a country he shouldn’t be a part of in the first place!! gahd…much rather have my money go to a good cause.
RAmen.
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An interview for a job? For a newspaper article? An Interview with a Vampire? How about an interview with a vam-pirate? I used to be a vampire for Halloween, or a pirate, it was always hard to decide, but maybe I could combine the two…
That would be really fun – an un-dead pasta-eating, beer-swilling pirate/wench!
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Rob:
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Interview!?!
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With whom? (Like the proper use of grammer?
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Where/when can we see/read it?
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Ha! Hahaha! Hahahaha! So it’s wrong to collect donations from followers and not work for a living? When was the last time you saw a Catholic Priest working a real job? Have you ever seen a Rabbi that moonlights as a cab driver? I find it utterly amazing that the religious freaks in this world cannot read the fine print, and also take things so seriously. The Bible all you Christians cherish is nothing more than an updated version of older myths and parables, written by man, not God, as a form of control. Plus, seeing how the God in the new testament was much more forgiving than the God of the Old Testament, I’m sure your Christian God, who’s nothing more than a rip-off of Zeus and Ra, is laughing at this whole thing himself and thinks it is great.
Maybe all the Christians offended by this to the point of anger and rage should take a pointer from Jesus Christ. You know, the person you all claim to follow and love and live you lives according to? And that pointer is that Anger and Wrath are wrong, and that you should turn the other cheek. Maybe instead of writing vicious emails about a joke you don’t get, you should just laugh and still live your Christian ‘holier-than-thou’ lives the way you want. Are Christians this terrified by a joke that they need to get so defensive? Maybe it’s a lack of faith in their Faith that’s the problem and not the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
Oh, and a little background before you all call me a pagan heathen or something. I went to a catholic grammar school, was an alter boy from 2nd grade through 8th, and went to a Jesuit high school and a Jesuit run college. I’ve read the Bible, which is full of hypocrisy in itself, many books on morals and ethics, and been involved in many discussions about religion, and the only fact I’ve learned is that you can make a joke about anything, and no one minds, but religion is crossing the line.
Hypocrites the lot of you! Get a sense of humor and have some fun before you die! Laughter will keep you younger and happier than any book written by power hungry morons (The Bible) will.
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except that Jesus isn’t always too great at following his own advice with that whole Anger being wrong thing, and he does on accasion treat non-israelis like sh**. He generally addresses his mother as “woman” and orders her around (what was that commandment about honouring your parents). He chases the moneylenders out of the temple with a bullwhip (isn’t giving into anger the same as comitting murder in your heart?). A caananite woman is forced to admit that she is a dog before Jesus will cure her son of a terminal illness. Jesus curses the inhabitants of two cities for not being sufficiently impressed with the miracles he performed (because, you know, the entire populace must have turned up to watch) and let’s not forget the fig tree incident. it wasn’t even the frikkin’ fig season and he destroys the tree for no damn reason at all. wouldn’t a loving messiah have used his power to make the trees bloom instead of cursing it to never again bear fruit?
Ok, Jesus did a fair bit of good as well, if you take all the accounts seriously. he just didn’t live the sinless life that many Christians claim he did.
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Interview? But what about being done with our fair city? Damn; I should’ve read this before the dinner! (And did you appreciate how I didn’t goad the father-out-law into asking you about your intentions, given the general topic of conversation? You owe me! Everyone, don’t you think that Bobby should adopt his girlfriend’s beagle, name of Darwin?)
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As soon as I have purchased all available FSM stickers, mugs, shirts, hats, posters, bobbleheads, shorts, pens, magnets, key tags, eye-glass cleaning cloths, stuffed animals (especially the midget doll), action figures and satin jackets, I plan on tithing my entire income to Bobby Henderson. FSM shall provide a devotee such as myself all of my basic needs (unless he decides not to).
Arrrrr! Ramen.
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Ted Linguini,
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You are a true Pastafarian Monk. A Brother of the Seven Seas. I’d lend you my cutlass any day.
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Arrrrr
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I’d realy like a wiggly FSM to dance away in the back window while I’m driving along. I’m sure the ‘jeebus’ people have got that sort of thing?
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A nodding Jesus (or Cheezus, or just a variety of nodding cheeses) you mean?
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Yarr, I’d be lovin’ a wigglin’ FSM, too. I forsee a Saturday of experimentation with spagghetti an rear wind screens…
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(And possibly an entire re-education in sspelinng.)
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FSM bobble head for the dashboard. That’s what we need Nikkiee.
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OEJ
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Yes. Our FSM artifacts should have motion to represent the true nature of His Nooldliness.
RAmen
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Enjoy accuiring your penny stacks my noodly grateness,
for that is the pirate way, arrgh,
well done for giving us ‘pathtic’ pirate’s a voice,
the wold will soon feel the fsm’s wrath, hardy har har,
ta ta for now me harty sea dogs,
three cheers for the great noodly appendage,
Hip hip, Her-aghh,
Hip hip, Her-aghh,
Hip hip, Her-aghh,
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p.s I agree me hartys,
Without motion my life would of been motionless,
Bring on those FSM bobble heads,
I’ll have a shipload… and I’ll capture the vessel that brings them in the name of pirates everywhere, arrgh
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Berk said:
“Plus, seeing how the God in the new testament was much more forgiving than the God of the Old Testament, I’m sure your Christian God, who’s nothing more than a rip-off of Zeus and Ra, is laughing at this whole thing himself and thinks it is great.”
I have a theory; maybe the Christian God got pissed. For a good few years he was all “Look back and I’ll turn you into salt”, and now he’s saying “Here have my son. Even better Kill Him! That way you can all come into heaven as long as you’re sorry…”
One day he’ll sober up and start saying “You’re a gay Jew? No you’re a gay Christian? Christian? That’s not a religion, this keeps getting better… Jesus come and listen to this… Jesus?”
Then he’ll be really pissed. In an angry way, not a drunken way.
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arrgh,
i see, i see, says i, says ee,
ee see’s, i see, ee see’s the sea,
the sea sees i and the sea see ee,
and the flying spagheetti monster see’s all!!!
hehehehe
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Do not drink and post.
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“Do not drink and post.”
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Awww… that takes all the fun out of it :(
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Btw, as an aside, I highly recommend arguing with a christian missionary on a bellyfull of beer.
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Imbibing the sacred liquid gives you unheard of stamina, an immunity to the mind numbing tedium of their argument, and an appreciative audience (or at least a bunch of people who like to laugh at the loud drunk man).
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arghh,
eat drink and be merry my hearty seadogs,
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pasta,rum and a sturdy vessle ….. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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p.s im with The Aussie,
sounds like a bloke after me own heart,
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Old joke here that Aussie made me remember…
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Never go fishing with just one Christian. Always take at least two. A lone Christian will drink all your beer.
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OEJ
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“Never go fishing with just one Christian. Always take at least two. A lone Christian will drink all your beer.”
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Reminds me of a scene from Clerks 2, where Wanda Sykes is raising hell and cussing.
Her husband asks “Girl, are you saved?”
She looks around and replies, “Aint nobody from my church in here.”
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Ahoy there.
Good to see you have all maintained your sense of humor (mostly) in response to this idiots post. It’s a bit of a pity that the author or the original post we are so interseted in has not shown his/her face – Reason, where are you?
Anyway, in response to the remark about providing vaguely intellectual critisism, isn’t that what humorous parody is all about? It takes intelligence to put together a movement like this – without it the movement would be nothing more than a hate campaign – at least some thought has gone into this. I wish I could say the same about ID!
So the lesson is: never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Peace, Ramen.
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I love you guys…. in a strictly pirate spaghetti kinda way.
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I may just, technically, be an irish kid of the age of 15, but if god is perfect,, why would he feel the need to create anything, much less an imperfect world? If to be perfect is to be complete in every sense, then why would he feel the desire to create, and why would he feel the need to tempt his people. To me this suggests either sadism , or really having nothing better to fdo with his time. If anyone wants to hear of anymore arguments against God(s) i’ve got a few more cooking here. And by the way, in case you haven’t noticed,im not tryinfg to offend your beliefs, these are merely my own. I do not wish to force mi beliefs on anyone, I merely seek an answer to my questions. thank you so very much. Cead Mile Failte and May the wind be ever at your back. Is this an intelligent enough response to your criticism?
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I live in a gradually conservativeafiing neighborhood which used to be such a nice middle class neighborhood until a private school moved right next door. I have to admit I do feel a little threatened, I’m very outspoken. Roughly a week ago I was discussing FSM with a friend of mine who accepted Pastafarianism with open arms. Another person at my school overheard us and said “excuse me but I am very devote in my catholic beliefs!â€
To which I replied â€Ok…..I don’t believe in Catholicismâ€
He then proceeded to talk about how he would tie me to a metal stake that he was building, which he would of course fill with some flammable substance or another and how he would be sure to do outside to not get the smell in his house, because I was trying to force my beliefs onto him.
I don’t think I even need to talk about that.
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Aren’t fundies such a fun bunch? Believe..or I’ll kill ya! Lurvely!
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“If you’ve got a problem with creationism, then why not attack it in a vaguely sensible way, with intellectual criticism?”
Actually, that’s not a bad point, apart from:
1. How much intelligent athiest criticism have you read? there’s loads out there, but no one reads it.
2. Nothing pisses people off like ridicule.
3. Satire highlights how utterly ridiculous ID is, in a more public way than intellectual criticism.
4. Christians wouldn’t read it, or if they did, they wouldn’t understand it. Intellectual is a big word, dude.
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Then there is the humour side of things!
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The true sad, pathetic story here is that Creationists reject all intellectual criticism. I honestly repect and understand this form of constructive criticism, being more polite than most other “hate mail” (more like death threats). That’s the irony of creationism, it tries to pass itself off as science. Pathetic and ironic.
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If Christians are offended by the holy FSM, GOOD. That’s the whole point of it. But you obviously can’t see that because you, like all creationists, are not an intelligent critic, asshole.
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i dont know if their is a god or not, but the fact that so many people are getting mad and “damning the pastafarians,” makes me laugh.Anyone can believe what they want, and who knows, maybe the FSM really did create the Universe.
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