Please tell me this is all a huge joke.You cant realy believe that a huge thing of spaghetti created everything.If you realy do believe this then you’re all idiots and I’ll pray for you.
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Yes, this is all a big joke. We don’t worship the spaghetti monster. We actually worship:
THE MIGHTY SPACE-TEACUP!
Our telescopes can’t pick it up but I know in my heart it’s there. Sure my “heart” is probably just feeling that way because my parents told me a magic Teacup orbits Venus since the day I was born.
And, yes, we constantly have wars with the people who believe the Teacup orbits Jupiter. But imagining myself and the divine Tea, which all faithful followers of The Great Cup shall receive after death, fills my soul with joy. How could this religion idea be a bad thing when it feels so good? (Or rather: How can illegal drugs be bad when they feel good, too and cause huge problems in society, too?)
I think Pastafarians should interact more with disciples of the Teacup, and the people who dress as ninjas and worship other italian dishes (I’d say pizza but that sounds too much like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). What good is a religion without unending sectarian violence?
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“Christmas is the beginning of the pagan celebration where the peak of winter has passed. The sun is visably travelling north again. The worship of Chronas (aka Saturn) – father of Zeus (aka Jupiter). The winter rations are shared at this time with villagers struggling to make their supplies last through the long dreaded winter.
Got nothing to do with Jesus or the story of St Nic in Paris!!! ”
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Thanks RAT I knew it was just could not remember much about it.
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Once in a while I have to remind myself of why I’m here. I was thinking that ID proponents want it taught in school. Why? I mean, as kids we all had questions about where we came from right? My parents dragged me into church on Sunday, and I remember Sunday school. I remember knowing that God created the heaven and earth long before I knew of evolution. I knew there were dinosaurs too, and I remember thinking “why don’t they talk about dinosaurs in Sunday school?” This must have been an important point; I mean Adam must have fended off attacks by T-rex right? Then I learned about science. Science explained things. Even when I consider m-theory, in all its complexity, I don’t give up and say, “ah screw it, this is too hard. I want to go back to believing God made all this”. Proponents of teaching ID must realize that intelligence overcomes creationism. As knowledge grows, mysticism and religion fail. For thousands of years, religious scholars told the sheep that religion was the answer to all their questions, as knowledge of science was not able to do so yet. If we can dismiss one bit of religion, it all falls down. Without teaching ID in school, most children will have their eyes opened to science, and religion looses sheep (sheep = money, power, influence, status etc.). Once again, zealots want to limit our knowledge to the level of their own. Nothing like blowing out another’s candle to make yours shine brighter.
May the Noodly Appendage touch your mind.
RAmen
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You’re absolutely right! It wasn’t the spaghetti monster.
It was, instead, the mother of all reasons why people do anything. Porn.
Yes folks, the purpose of life, the meaning of the universe and the principle on which Eris has many very naughtily expressed opinions is Porn.
Now go watch some. Some of you clearly need it.
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You are either very talented, or completely clueless in the application of irony.
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I’ll vote myself ‘completely clueless’ and err on the side of safety.
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I’d like to clarify a couple of things. I don’t believe in ID. If you were hooked up to a polygraph test, that would suggest that nobody actually believes in the FSM. I don’t give a damn if you don’t believe in Christianity what made you think that. And what cirriculum has evolution being taught to children? Also no matter how hard you try you can’t disprove a god. And I vote to stay in haha.
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I just think some of you should become more tolerant.
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I am not sure what Jake meant in that 8:34 post, so in case he thought I was talking about him, I wasn’t.
Anyway Bobert, I realize that evolution has the unfortunate downside of being supported by evidence and testable hypotheses based on the observation of reality, and pastafarianism has a graph. I recognize your plight in supporting Christianity.
And I bid you a goodnight sir.
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Bobert, you are right! Some of us (that be me AND you) should become more tolerant. “Let he who has not sinned, cast the first stone” etc.
I know your not into ID. But I am still clueless about your point.
Again, however, I agree with you that you can’t disprove a God (Like our almighty creator FSM!!!). However you know that from a Scientific Stance – God does not need to be disproved – only proven and that has not occured yet!!
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Tolerant? Do you know what it’s like to be an intelligent, female, non-Christian in American society? No, I thought you didn’t. I have to turn the other cheek quite often. Tolerance is my middle name, but here, at my (online) church, I can say and believe what I want. It’s your turn to be tolerant.
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@NeoPiratical (Oct 24th, 2006 at 12:49 pm)
Excellent.
RAmen
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@NepPiratical
I’d originally missed your post. Telescopic evidence of FSM.
http://fim1ur2.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_fim1ur2_archive.html
RAmen
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“Bobert Oct 25th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
I just think some of you should become more tolerant.”
Nuh-uh. *sticking out my tounge*
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_ignorance
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And of course, the burden of proof rests solely on YOUR shoulders. If beliefs need no proof, then your belief is wrong (and that needs no proof :P)
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Chistianity isn’t a parody. Have you heard of the crusades? Those were usually sanctioned by the pope. So going by that evidence Jesus probably existed. What is Christianity and Buddhism a parody of? There is a significant credibilty Christianity has over the FSM. Now believe what you want but don’t call Christianity a parody you noob. For what it’s worth I believe in theistic evolution. And I’m Catholic so at least I’m not going to hell.
The Crusades were a horrible excuse to kill off a bunch of people. Isn’t it a sin to kill people? Well, then how come during the crusades, all the so-called “Christians” went and killed or tortured people who weren’t willing to convert. The Pope was being a douche and just wanted to kill people because they didn’t think like he did. Tolerance, anyone?
I’m Catholic too, but I don’t agree with most of the stuff that the Catholic church did.
To everyone else who just doesn’t seem to get it:
And please, can you not see the humor in this? Do you not realize how sometimes Christianity is taken too far? Too seriously? Let’s for once, have some fun and not get all pissed off because someone said something about your religion that offended you. Scew it, it’s not even offending you. What has the “Flying Spaghetii Monster” ever done to Christianity? Nothing really. It hasn’t killed off people has it? NO, because it’s a joke…so please be willing to laugh and if you don’t like the Flying Spaghetti Monster I have a solution for you: don’t come here anymore.
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I just converted to FSM for the strippers and free beer. Find me a Christian church with those and I’m in.
.
OEJ, easily swayed.
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I’m not offended by the church of the FSM. I wasn’t justifying the crusades. I believe in evolution. My point is religious tolerance should be heeded. What led you to believe that I wasn’t. And thank you Master in Chief of obviousness by telling me that God hasn’t been proved.
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Bobert,
you are using ‘circular logic’. The Pope sanctioned the Crusades, to secure the holy land, because this is where jesus lived. Therefore the crusades prove that jesus existed, because the pope, following a book which said that jesus existed, sanctioned the killing of lots of people. Therefore jesus existed.
It’s not logically sound. But that has never been a problem for uber-religious folk.
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Enough off this setting of Pastafarian against Pastafarian, we are all his creatures.
Now that’s the afternoon prayer bell, Come join with me in the chanting of ‘al dente! al dente!’
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http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/satire
’nuff said
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And i’ll pray for you not to get pwned by his Noodleyness!!
…or i wont
yeah i dont think i will.
you’ll just lose out man.
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Bobert,
did you just pick a random word to insult our future stock? or did you drop out of your Anthropology class before you got the definition of mongoloid?
For your information, a mongoloid is a person who originates, or the offspring of east easian decent. I’m going to imagine that you are just silly and misguided as opposed to just plain racist.
RAmen
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Bobert; you said “for what it’s worth I believe in theistic evolution. And I’m Catholic so at least I’m not going to hell. ”
Then you said “I’m not offended by the church of the FSM. I wasn’t justifying the crusades. I believe in evolution. ”
Then, “theistic evolution” suggests; God Almighty created the heavens and the earth, and all life upon the earth. He accomplished this process over billions of historical years. He has been in charge of this process since the beginning of time and He still is in charge. He directed the unfolding of life forms over time that many people call evolution.
So, since you are Catholic, you aren’t going to hell. Since I am a Pastafarian, I must be going to hell according to you. Then you state you believe in Theistic evolution, which sounds strangely like creationism, accept God has now become responsible for the evolutionary process. THEN, you say you believe in evolution. THEN you said some other stuff that I didn’t bother to read. Are you converting to Pastafarianism? Or abandoning your Catholic faith? Or are you choosing to believe parts of your religious teaching and rejecting other parts? Or are you confused, angry, and out-numbered? You could go either way here. Dig deep into your fear-based, immature, closed-minded religion, OR open your mind and realize that Catholics, Protestants, Mormans, Scientologists etc. have been sold a bill of goods. Think for yourself. Ask rational questions and be open to rational ideas and your faith may change.
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Yes. It is all a big joke.
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Or, you can wish my offspring to be of asian descent (mongoloid).
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God Monkey Wrote:
Petrovski wrote, “How can anyone say that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is one big joke? When so many have been touched by his noodley appendage?â€
Don’t Catholic schoolboys get touched by noodly appendages too? I’m not fer it, just sayin’.
Well I was a catholic schoolboy and I was touched by his noodly appendage. It’s still possible to convert
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Thank you, Pineapple Monster.
It’s never too late. For most of my life I have been a Taoist Anarchist. For those who aren’t familiar with my former belief system, a TA has the benefits of understanding that you move with the Universe and therefore stay in harmony with the Universe and its Creator. That being said, the Anarchy portion comes into play when you’re just plain bored and want to see if you can throw a little chaos into the Universe to see what happens. For many years, theologists within the Church were worried this meant evolution, so they were killed. At any rate, it really only led to drunken orgies and lots of pirate songs. No harm done.
Now I find the truth in knowing my Creator, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Although I am now a firm believer, I find that my previous teachings still augment my now enlightened mind.
RAmen
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I am getting well and truely toasty from the flames coming out of this thread.
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Oh my gosh–a JOKE? REALLY?
Good thing FSMers know the difference between a phenomenological impossibility and reality. Coz we didn’t have to be illuminated by a fluckwit like you.
Religious people sure don’t know the difference between reality and delusion.
Which is why religionists cotton so easily to slaughter, genocide, and armageddon.
Have a nice day! You’ll need it after forcing others to believe in your imaginary friends at the point of a gun.
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PS, of course Mr. Catholic Guy isn’t going to hell.
Nobody is. There ain’t no such place except in the hostile, aggressive, juvenile fantasies of Catholics and other Christians, and religions descended from them (like Islam).
Any church that says other people are going to a place of eternal torment should lose their tax deduction.
Scratch that. Tax all churches now. Even FSM.
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Where’d you go Bobert? Come back and turn the other cheek!
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maxwell, I actually pick and choose a lot of thins from my faith. Have you heard of sarcasm? I’m not going to convert to your belief because I am outnumbered and it’s foolish to call your belief the most intellectual. It looks like somebody had to look up mongoloid in the dictionary, I figured some of you would have to. But just because meriman and webster don’t have my meaning doesn’t mean I’ve stopped making sence. Creationism is far different from theistic evolution you dunce. Oh yeah maxwell why don’t you get your literature straignt, and if you were hooked up to a polygraph test and were asked if you believe in the FSM, you would fail it. (and don’t deny that) That’s why I refuse to consider this a legitimate religion. And I’ll say this “if you are so insensitive and overly arrogant you deserve to get hit by a drunk driver.”
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maybe he’s busy making mongoloid offspring…tee hee hee
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Bobert,
.
I’ll take your polygraph test. I can honestly say that I believe the FSM is just as real as your Christian God.
.
OEJ
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OMFSM!
Bobert,
I’m Sorry, my post earlier stated that I was giving you the benifet of the doubt when you used the term ‘Mongoloid’, hoping that you weren’t a racist prick. obviously, I stand corrected. If you must insist on coming to our forums, please have some respect. It is very obvious you do not believe in the FSM, because If you did, you wouldn’t wish someone to be ‘hit by a drunk driver’.
Typical.
if you can’t win an argument, threaten them with violence.
I hope you have a good life, bobert.
That’s how we show our beliefs, you could learn something from FSM followers if you opened your mnd alittle.
RAmen
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Mongoloid; (Slang) Derogatory term used to imply mental retardation, esp. Down’s Syndrome. Derived from the asiatic appearence of sufferers.
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Hence, he’s not being racist, he’s being prejudiced against the mentally disabled (ironic, wot?).
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“Creationism is far different from theistic evolution you dunce”
Ok then, tell us how it is far different? Then, go get loaded and get behind the wheel and come lookin’ for me! I suspect that, like your previous arguments, you have only your opinion and nothing to back it up. Opinions are cool though. You can express your’s the same as i can express mine. In my opinion, your opinions stink unless you can offer some substance. Then, they still might stink, but I won’t view you as a tantrum-throwing child. (ok, I probably still will). You are fun to boot around!
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I have a question why can’t Christians spell?
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Bobert why can’t Cristians spell?
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Bobert from one moron to another how do you spell – Sense -Things.
/
You come on here with your quasi intellectualism and you just don’t get it. With every key stroke you re-inforce everything we Pasafarians believe.
/
LMAO
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I’m beginning to wonder Bobert; are you so angry because you fear being touched by a Noodly appendage, or by a Priest? Whilst both may “feel good”, one is good touch, and one is bad touch.
I hear an engine revving in the distance….the smell of cheap booze and pal mal waft on the breeze. Somewhere a drunk burps….VROOM VROOM. Headlights are bright, can’t move…no where to run
Thud. Bobert gets his wish. Too bad I challenged his beliefs, for I may still be alive today. What’s this? A BEER VOLCANO???!?!?!??! OMFSM! We were right! We were right!
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Aussie,
Thank you for the clarification for the masses.
I still consider it fairly racist, as i infer racisim with all discriminatory actions against a minority group.
;) thanks again
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Bobert – Come on, I have bet on your reply
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If you don’t believe, then you must be an idiot.
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Thanks. NEXT!!
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Hurry up Bobert! It can’t take that long to read about “theistic creation”. Or, are you formulating an intelligent argument for the difference between creationism and TC? Or maybe your are sticking pins in a voodoo doll…Hmmm. This is the worst part of having your head stuck in the sand. When your head is down there, what is sticking up? Your backside! Sticking right out there asking people to kick it. I was having fun kicking it. I’m getting bored now. Waiting. Poking you with a stick, poking, and poking and poking. you have to respond soon……
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Please replace “theistic creation” with “theistic evolution”. I am a dunce. A mongoloid-spawning, drunk-driver attracting dunce. Sorry.
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and TC should be TE. Dunce.
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three words: What The Fuck?
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First off my life is not dedicated to this thread. I’ve been at school/work so I’m sorry for the delay. I’m also sorry for missspelling one word. Lord knows that I’m not perfekt. It’s my belief that God created evolution. And has been around influencing various aspects on Earth. I don’t believe that we came from Adam and Eve. Theistic evolution has nothing to do with Adam and Eve. There are probably books about it. I’m believe that we came from very basic ucaria, and through time and natural selection we are what we’ve become today. I think that some outcomes of natural selection and gentic drift, God played a part. But feel free to think otherwise. I’d like to also point out that none of you have suggested that you behold any practical knoledge of evolution.
I’d also like to point out that I am not a bigot. I know I would prefer to have normal and healthy offspring. (I love it that so many of you didn’t grasp such a general colloquilasm) It’s a terrible thought to wish that upon someone. I however believed that some of you had deserved it. And you maxwell, you would fail that polygraph with flying colors. Do you actually believe that global warming is directly correlated with pirates. In the 1800’s there would hardly have been an accurate census of pirates. (it’s not like they had ss#’s or anything)
So this is my fond farewell, I can clearly see that revisiting this site would be a waste of my time. Your arguments are so full of fallacies that it’s not worth it to me. I’m above your piddly grade-level,there is no benefit for me debating with you on account of your dimwittedness. I’d like to pose a rhetorical question, who’s the dunce now?
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Actually, that was the most genuine stuff you’ve said yet. I don’t mind talking about ideas and discussing beliefs. You said from your heart what you believe, and I wouldn’t make fun of that. I might disagree, but that’s it. I don’t believe, not for a second, that global warming is caused by a decrease in pirates. But, I have a choice to believe that or not. I regret that you still stooped to calling my a dimwit, but I was not too nice to you either I guess. I think you focused so much on what you thought I believed, and judged me based on that assumption, that you missed the bigger idea that I object to people forcing their religious beliefs on me. I don’t think I ever said I was a believer in Pastafarianism, but I support whole-heartedly their message. Too bad you used your last post to express your most moderate views. I would have liked to debate them some more (without the mongoloid + dimwit stuff).
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